The Lucky Few

“Presume competence” is a phrase we hear often in the disability community. But what does it mean when someone also needs significant support?
This week, Heather and Micha talk through the tension between believing there may be more happening than we can see and honoring a person exactly as they are. They share stories about school routines, communication, reading, and friendship—and ask what changes when we lead with curiosity instead of assumptions.
In this episode:
Why presuming competence starts with seeing someone’s full humanity, rather than measuring what they can do.

How behavior or limited speech can obscure a person’s interests, needs, and desire for connection.

What it looks like to offer age-appropriate opportunities while providing real support.

Related listening: Episode 337 on belonging and inclusion, Episode 335 on autonomy, and Episodes 313–314 on apraxia and motor planning.
Thank You to Our Sponsors
Down For Greens creates practitioner-formulated, third-party-tested greens specifically designed with the nutritional needs of the Down syndrome community in mind.
Learn more: downforgreens.co
Promo code: LUCKY — get 50% off your first order.
ENABLE Special Needs Planning helps families create coordinated plans for the future by bringing together the vision, financial, legal, and practical pieces of special needs planning.
Free resource: Who Will Carry What? Download it here.

“Inclusion says you’re allowed to be here. Belonging says this is your place.”
In this episode, we’re exploring the difference between being included and being genuinely known, wanted, and valued. We share real-life examples from school, church, dance, friendships, and community spaces—and discuss why simply offering access or accommodations isn’t enough.
True belonging means our kids don’t have to earn their place or change who they are to fit in. It means creating communities that recognize they are better because our kids are part of them.
In this episode:
Why inclusion without belonging can still leave people feeling unseen

What genuine belonging looks like in schools, churches, friendships, and activities

How adults can intentionally create spaces where every person is known, supported, and valued

Want to learn more about inclusion, community, and what it takes to create true belonging? Keep the conversation going with these episodes:
280. Can a Person With Down Syndrome Find Community & Belonging?
324. What We Wish We’d Known About Inclusion
326. What We Wish We’d Known About Loneliness

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Thank You to Our Sponsors
Down For Greens creates practitioner-formulated, third-party-tested greens specifically designed with the nutritional needs of the Down syndrome community in mind.
Learn more: ⁠⁠⁠https://downforgreens.co⁠⁠⁠
Promo code: LUCKY — get 50% off your first order.
ENABLE Special Needs Planning helps families create coordinated plans for the future by bringing together the vision, financial, legal, and practical pieces of special needs planning.
Free resource: Who Will Carry What?Download: ⁠⁠⁠https://ENABLEsnp.com/the-lucky-few⁠⁠⁠
Don’t forget to follow, subscribe, and leave a review wherever you listen to The Lucky Few Podcast. We love hearing how these conversations are meeting you and your family.
Here’s to shifting the narrative for people with Down syndrome.

Disability policy can feel complicated and overwhelming—but these decisions directly affect the healthcare, education, services, and civil rights of people with disabilities.
Today, Heather is joined by attorney, IEP expert, and longtime friend of the podcast Ashley Barlow. Together, they break down current changes and challenges surrounding Section 504, community living, Medicaid, and special education—and explain why families need to pay attention.

In this episode:
What current policy changes could mean for disability rights and community-based services
What’s happening with Section 504, the Olmstead decision, and the Department of Education
How families can advocate by contacting legislators, sharing their stories, and following trusted disability organizations

The issues are complex, but one truth remains clear: disabled people belong in our schools, neighborhoods, workplaces, and communities—without having to earn or prove their worth.

Learn more from Ashley:
The Collaborative IEP,
Follow Ashley: @thecollaborativeiep

Listen to previous episodes with Ashley:
131. Preparing for the School Year: IEPs + Special Education
273. Breaking Down Barriers: The Parent’s Role in IEP Success
292. What’s Going on With the Department of Education?
294. Why Down Syndrome Isn’t Something to “Cure” 298. What’s Going on With the Department of Education? Part 2
Bonus: The Fight for 504—Why Disability Rights Are on the Line

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Thank You to Our Sponsors
Down For Greens creates practitioner-formulated, third-party-tested greens specifically designed with the nutritional needs of the Down syndrome community in mind.
Learn more: ⁠⁠https://downforgreens.co⁠⁠
Promo code: LUCKY — get 50% off your first order.
ENABLE Special Needs Planning helps families create coordinated plans for the future by bringing together the vision, financial, legal, and practical pieces of special needs planning.
Free resource: Who Will Carry What?Download: ⁠⁠https://ENABLEsnp.com/the-lucky-few⁠⁠
Don’t forget to follow, subscribe, and leave a review wherever you listen to The Lucky Few Podcast. We love hearing how these conversations are meeting you and your family.
Here’s to shifting the narrative for people with Down syndrome.

What does it look like to truly honor the autonomy of adults with Down syndrome?
Today we’re joined by our former producer, occupational therapist, sibling, and advocate Val Schlieder to talk about autonomy, infantilization, and the dignity of risk.
We explore why protecting people with Down syndrome from every possible risk can actually limit their independence, the difference between risk and genuine danger, and how we can support our loved ones in making their own choices.
From everyday decisions to navigating adulthood, Val challenges us to assume competence, make room for choice, and provide support without taking away autonomy.

In this episode, we discuss:
Infantilization, autonomy, and the dignity of risk
The difference between protecting someone and limiting their independence
Practical ways to assume competence and support everyday choice and self-determination

Learn more from Val Schlieder
⁠Have questions: Email Val
Follow Val on Instagram

Listen to previous episodes with Val Schlieder:
Episode 43 — Back to School & All Things Best Buddies w/ Val Schlieder & Allison Covell
Listen / Episode Page
Episode 162 — What Happens After High School? (Ft. Val Schlieder — OT + Producer)
Listen / Episode Page

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Thank You to Our Sponsors
Down For Greens creates practitioner-formulated, third-party-tested greens specifically designed with the nutritional needs of the Down syndrome community in mind.
Learn more: ⁠https://downforgreens.co⁠
Promo code: LUCKY — get 50% off your first order.
ENABLE Special Needs Planning helps families create coordinated plans for the future by bringing together the vision, financial, legal, and practical pieces of special needs planning.
Free resource: Who Will Carry What?Download: ⁠https://ENABLEsnp.com/the-lucky-few⁠
Don’t forget to follow, subscribe, and leave a review wherever you listen to The Lucky Few Podcast. We love hearing how these conversations are meeting you and your family.
Here’s to shifting the narrative for people with Down syndrome.

Back-to-school season brings more than new supplies and schedules—especially when you’re raising a child with Down syndrome. There are IEPs, appointments, transportation plans, medical information, therapies, emails, paperwork, and approximately 47 things nobody else in your house seems to remember.
Today, Heather sits down with professional organizer, Enneagram coach, and fellow Down syndrome mom Angela O’Brien to talk about creating organization that supports the life you actually have.
Angela explains why disability families often carry more physical and mental clutter, how delayed decisions contribute to the overwhelm, and why the goal isn’t a Pinterest-perfect home. She shares realistic systems for managing incoming paperwork, organizing digital records, simplifying morning and after-school transitions, and helping our kids become more independent.
Whether you create one place for every incoming paper, lower a backpack hook so your child can reach it, or spend five minutes tackling one drawer, small changes can give your family more time, energy, and capacity.
Friends, you don’t need to overhaul your entire life. Start small, build systems around your family’s natural rhythms, and give yourself some grace along the way.
Learn more from Angela:
Your Space Reclaimed
Listen to the Especially Organized Podcast
Follow Your Space Reclaimed on Instagram
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Thank You to Our Sponsors
Down For Greens creates practitioner-formulated, third-party-tested greens specifically designed with the nutritional needs of the Down syndrome community in mind.
Learn more: https://downforgreens.co
Promo code: LUCKY — get 50% off your first order.
ENABLE Special Needs Planning helps families create coordinated plans for the future by bringing together the vision, financial, legal, and practical pieces of special needs planning.
Free resource: Who Will Carry What?
Download: https://ENABLEsnp.com/the-lucky-few
Don’t forget to follow, subscribe, and leave a review wherever you listen to The Lucky Few Podcast. We love hearing how these conversations are meeting you and your family.
Here’s to shifting the narrative for people with Down syndrome.