Complicated Kids

Birth is part of the story. It is not the whole story.
In this episode, Emily Roper is back to talk about birth, early development, and what those first experiences may have to do with the complicated kids we are parenting later.
And before we go anywhere else, we say this clearly: this is not an episode about looking back and deciding you should have done everything differently.
No thank you. We have enough parent guilt already.
This is about awareness. It is about connecting dots. It is about understanding how pregnancy, birth, and the newborn period can give us clues about a child's brain, body, stress response, movement, feeding, sensory processing, and regulation.
Emily is a neuro-developmental delay therapist, certified midwife's assistant, and owner of Early Roots. She works with children who have developmental delays, sensory challenges, ADHD, autism, anxiety, dyslexia, retained reflexes, vestibular differences, visual development issues, and regulation challenges. She also works in the birth world, supporting families during labor and postpartum.
Which means she lives in the overlap between early experience and later development.
That overlap is where this episode lives too.
Emily explains that birth is not just the way we get the baby out. During labor and delivery, the baby's body is doing a tremendous amount of work. Stress hormones shift. Reflexes activate. Movement patterns are used. The baby is preparing to breathe, digest, regulate, move, and live outside the womb.
Which is a lot, really.
We also talk about what can happen when that process is disrupted or modified. C-sections, inductions, forceps, vacuum delivery, oxygen concerns, birth trauma, feeding challenges, torticollis, latch issues, and unsettled newborn patterns can all become pieces of a larger developmental picture.
Not because any one of those things determines a child's future, but because they may help us ask better questions.
One of the biggest themes in this episode is that babies do not develop in separate buckets. A feeding issue is not always just a feeding issue. A neck issue is not always just a neck issue. A fussy baby does not have a personality problem.
The body, brain, movement system, sensory system, stress response, and regulation system are all connected, especially early on.
Emily and I talk about what parents can do with this information at different points. If you are pregnant, it may mean asking more questions about your provider, setting, and support. If you have a newborn, it may mean looking at feeding, body tension, floor time, movement, postpartum mental health, and your own regulation. If your child is older, it may mean finding someone who understands primitive reflexes, sensory-motor development, and the way early patterns can still be supported later.
Because this is not a "you missed your window" conversation.
Neuroplasticity is real. Development keeps going. Bodies can be supported. Nervous systems can become more organized. Kids can make meaningful changes long after the newborn stage.
That is why I like talking with Emily so much. She helps us widen the lens without turning the whole thing into blame.
Early history may not explain everything.
But it may give us one more way in.
Key Takeaways
This episode is about awareness, not guilt.
Birth can be part of a child's developmental story, but it is not the whole story.
Pregnancy, birth, and the newborn period can affect how the brain and body learn to function.
Birth is an active process for the baby, involving movement, reflexes, stress hormone shifts, and major physiological transitions.
C-sections, inductions, forceps, vacuum delivery, oxygen concerns, and birth trauma can matter developmentally without becoming moral judgments.
Feeding, latch, torticollis, fussiness, sensory processing, and regulation are often connected through the developing brain and body.
A fussy baby does not have a personality problem. Fussiness can be communication that something is uncomfortable, stressful, or hard.
Body issues are brain issues, especially in babies, because early development is deeply physical.
Parents can support development through feeding support, body work, movement, floor time, nervous system support, and attention to postpartum mental health.
About Emily Roper
Emily Roper is a Neuro-Developmental Delay Therapist and a certified Midwives Assistant. She owns Early Roots, a specialized therapy practice for children with developmental delays. Her work helps providers and families better understand and support children and parents.
Emily has an educational background in psychology, midwifery, and neuro-developmental delay. She has spent over a decade helping children with ADHD, autism, anxiety, dyslexia, sensory challenges, and other developmental delays. She has attended more than 600 births and supported hundreds of families through their postpartum period.
In addition to her hands-on work, Emily is passionate about education and bridging the gap between the birth world and psychology. She teaches and speaks to both parents and professionals about how early experiences, specifically pregnancy, birth, and the newborn period, shape long-term neurological development. She has trained midwives, taught post-graduate students, spoken at conferences, and hosts The Early Roots Podcast, where she makes complex developmental topics feel practical and accessible.
About Your Host, Gabriele Nicolet
I'm Gabriele Nicolet, toddler whisperer, speech therapist, parenting life coach, and host of Complicated Kids. Each week, I share practical, relationship-based strategies for raising kids with big feelings, big needs, and beautifully different brains. My goal is to help families move from surviving to thriving by building connection, confidence, and clarity at home.
Complicated Kids Resources and Links
🌎 www.gabrielenicolet.com
📅 Schedule a free intro call: https://calendly.com/gabrielenicolet/free-15-minute-1-1-session
📺 Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@complicatedkids/featured
👾 Grab Tell the Story (anti-anxiety tool for kids): https://www.gabrielenicolet.com/tell-the-story
📝 Read my latest blog posts: https://www.gabrielenicolet.com/blog
🎤 Explore my upcoming live workshops: https://www.gabrielenicolet.com/live-workshops
🎥 Explore my on-demand workshops: https://www.gabrielenicolet.com/workshop-replays
➡️ Instagram: https://instagram.com/gabriele_nicolet
➡️ Facebook: https://facebook.com/gabriele.nicolet
➡️ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gabrielenicolet/
🌺 Free "Orchid Kid" Checklist: https://www.raisingorchidkids.com/orchid-kid-check-list-sign-up/
Enjoying the Show?
If Complicated Kids has been helpful, the best way to support the podcast is to follow, rate, and leave a quick review. It helps other parents find the show, and it means a lot.
If there's a topic you'd love to hear covered on a future episode, you can always reach out at podcast@complicatedkids.com. I love hearing what's on your mind and what would support your family.
Thank you for being here. 💛

The best college preparation may not look like college preparation at all.
By the time a student gets to college, we expect them to manage syllabi, deadlines, different professors, long-term assignments, and a schedule with far less adult oversight. But the executive function skills needed to do all of that do not suddenly appear when the dorm-room key lands in their hand.
In this episode, I talk with Marcia Miller, an executive function coach who spent 14 years working with high school students, about how families can help kids build those skills long before college.
Marcia describes executive function as the old-fashioned secretary in the brain. It helps us initiate tasks, organize information, plan ahead, remember what is expected, and follow through. For some kids, that secretary is organized, color-coded, and running a tight ship. For others, she is very quiet, somewhat overwhelmed, or apparently away from her desk.
When those internal systems are still developing, students need external strategies. Calendars, reminders, routines, written directions, and repeated practice are not shortcuts. They are tools that help a student manage the work until more of the process becomes familiar and automatic.
We also talk about reliability, which Marcia calls one of the least exciting and most essential skills. College professors, employers, friends, and family members all need people to communicate, meet deadlines, follow through, and say something when they are confused or stuck.
The first step is often figuring out where the hiccup is.
A student may understand the material but forget the deadline. They may know how to solve the problem but become completely derailed when asked to slow down and show each step. They may want to begin the project but have no idea how to turn one enormous assignment into several manageable actions.
This is why conversations about how brains work matter. Kids need language for what comes easily, what requires more effort, and what happens inside their brains when a task falls apart. That kind of self-understanding helps make invisible processes visible.
Marcia and I also talk about the shame that can build when a smart student repeatedly struggles to do what school asks. When kids hear only about the missing work, forgotten folder, or disappointing grade, they may begin to believe they are simply bad at school.
The alternative is not ignoring the struggle. It is helping the child identify their strengths, understand their challenges, and develop strategies without treating every difficulty as a character flaw.
Parents can begin by rewarding communication and collaboration. When your child remembers to tell you about the poster project before 3:00 in the morning, that is progress. They have brought the information to the team, and now the team can work on planning, organization, and follow-through.
Preparing a child for college is not only about grades or whether they can complete an application. It is about helping them understand how they learn, ask for support, recover from mistakes, work with other people, and build systems that allow them to be more reliable and independent.
🎯 Key Takeaways
College readiness begins long before college, but it does not need to be framed that way for kids.
Executive function includes skills like initiation, planning, organization, working memory, follow-through, and managing deadlines.
For many kids with ADHD or executive function challenges, directions can disappear quickly even when the child wants to do the task correctly.
External strategies are important while executive function skills are still developing.
Reliability may not sound exciting, but it is a major life skill for school, work, relationships, and independence.
When something goes sideways, adults can help by asking where the hiccup is instead of assuming the child does not care.
Smart kids can still struggle deeply with showing work, breaking down steps, remembering directions, or managing deadlines.
Repeated conversations about how a child's brain works help build metacognition and self-understanding.
Shame can grow when kids are repeatedly reminded of what they are not doing well.
Parents can support future independence by noticing strengths, rewarding collaboration, practicing strategies, and helping kids understand that their brains may work differently and still be good brains.
About Marcia Miller
Marcia Miller is an executive function coach based in Washington, DC, who works with teens, young adults, and families throughout the DMV area.
After a 14-year career at a private high school, Marcia developed extensive experience supporting both neurotypical and neurodiverse teens, especially students with ADHD. Before working in education, she built a diverse career across corporate settings, law firms, volunteer work, and parenting her own daughter with ADHD.
Marcia brings humor, warmth, and a shame-reducing approach to her work. She helps young people embrace who they are, identify their strengths, understand their challenges, and build practical strategies for success. She also enjoys partnering with parents and believes that perspective is essential to effectively coaching teens and young adults.
About Your Host, Gabriele Nicolet
I'm Gabriele Nicolet, toddler whisperer, speech therapist, parenting life coach, and host of Complicated Kids. Each week, I share practical, relationship-based strategies for raising kids with big feelings, big needs, and beautifully different brains. My goal is to help families move from surviving to thriving by building connection, confidence, and clarity at home.
Complicated Kids Resources and Links
🌎 Website: https://www.gabrielenicolet.com
📅 Schedule a free intro call: https://calendly.com/gabrielenicolet/free-15-minute-1-1-session
📺 Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@complicatedkids/featured
👾 Grab Tell the Story (Anti-Anxiety Tool for Kids): https://www.gabrielenicolet.com/tell-the-story
📝 Read the latest blog posts: https://www.gabrielenicolet.com/blog
🎤 Explore upcoming live workshops: https://www.gabrielenicolet.com/live-workshops
🎥 Explore on-demand workshops: https://www.gabrielenicolet.com/workshop-replays
➡️ Instagram: https://instagram.com/gabriele_nicolet
➡️ Facebook: https://facebook.com/gabriele.nicolet
➡️ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gabrielenicolet/
🌺 Free "Orchid Kid" Checklist: https://www.raisingorchidkids.com/orchid-kid-check-list-sign-up/
Enjoying the Show?
If Complicated Kids has been helpful, the best way to support the podcast is to follow, rate, and leave a quick review. It helps other parents find the show, and it means a lot.
If there's a topic you'd love to hear covered on a future episode, you can always reach out at podcast@complicatedkids.com. I love hearing what's on your mind and what would support your family.
Thank you for being here. 💛

Not speaking is not the same thing as not having something to say.
In this episode, I'm joined by Elizabeth Vosseller, founder of Spelling to Communicate and Executive Director of I-ASC, the International Association for Spelling as Communication.
And we are talking about communication.
Not the easy kind.
Not the "say what you mean with your mouth and everyone understands what is happening" kind.
We are talking about what happens when a person has thoughts, language, ideas, preferences, humor, opinions, and vocabulary, but cannot reliably use speech to share them.
Elizabeth explains that Spelling to Communicate (S2C) is a method of teaching communication to nonspeaking people. And nonspeaking is the word we want here, not nonverbal.
Because nonverbal means without words.
And the people Elizabeth works with are not without words.
They may have no speech, very few spoken words, or lots of speech that is not reliable or communicative. They may script, loop, say the opposite of what they mean, or struggle to get their bodies to do what their brains are asking them to do.
Which brings us to one of the biggest themes in this conversation: communication is motor.
Speech is motor. Typing is motor. Pointing is motor. Signing is motor. Getting an idea out of your brain and into the world requires the body to participate.
And for some kids and adults, that is where things get complicated.
Elizabeth walks us through praxis, which is the process of having an idea, making a plan, executing the plan, and adapting when something does not go the way it was supposed to go. For people with apraxia or dyspraxia, the idea may be there. The plan may be there. But the message between the brain and the body may not move smoothly.
And if we do not understand that, we can make some very big mistakes.
We can look at a child who is not following a direction and assume they are being noncompliant.
We can look at a child who is hitting, grabbing, bolting, or making sounds and assume the behavior is intentional in a way it may not be.
We can look at a nonspeaking child and assume there are no words inside.
That is a dangerous assumption.
Elizabeth and I also talk about rich language environments, spelling, reading, communication regulation partners, and why support does not automatically mean influence when the support is trained, careful, and ethical.
This conversation is especially close to my speech therapist heart because it asks us to slow down and separate language from speech, communication from behavior, and intention from motor access.
Which is not always easy.
But it matters.
Because when we assume a child has nothing to say, we may stop offering them enough to think about.
When we assume a behavior tells the whole story, we may miss what the body is struggling to do.
And when we assume speech is the only real path to communication, we may miss the person who has been there the whole time.
Key Takeaways
Nonspeaking is different from nonverbal. Nonspeaking means a person cannot use speech reliably and effectively.
Nonverbal means without words, which can wrongly suggest a person does not have language, thoughts, or vocabulary.
Spelling to Communicate (S2C) teaches nonspeaking people to use pointing to letters as a motor-based way to communicate.
Communication depends on the body. Speech, typing, pointing, signing, and texting all require motor planning and motor execution.
Praxis involves having an idea, making a plan, executing the plan, and adapting when something does not work.
Apraxia and dyspraxia can create a breakdown between what a person intends to do and what their body is able to do on demand.
A purely behavioral lens can lead adults to misunderstand kids whose bodies are not reliably following their intentions.
Rich language and literacy exposure matter, even when a child is not speaking.
Communication regulation partners provide motor coaching, sensory feedback, and regulation support when they are properly trained.
Assuming competence means being careful about what we say, what we offer, and what we believe may be possible.
About Elizabeth Vosseller
Elizabeth Vosseller is the founder of Spelling to Communicate and Executive Director of I-ASC. Since 1995, she has worked clinically with individuals with complex communication and sensory-motor differences across hospital, university, and private settings. Her work focuses on motor-based access to communication, advancing education, training, and research for nonspeaking individuals.
About Your Host, Gabriele Nicolet
I'm Gabriele Nicolet, toddler whisperer, speech therapist, parenting life coach, and host of Complicated Kids. Each week, I share practical, relationship-based strategies for raising kids with big feelings, big needs, and beautifully different brains. My goal is to help families move from surviving to thriving by building connection, confidence, and clarity at home.
Complicated Kids Resources and Links
Website: https://www.gabrielenicolet.com
Schedule a free intro call: https://calendly.com/gabrielenicolet/free-15-minute-1-1-session
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@complicatedkids/featured
Tell the Story (Anti-Anxiety Tool for Kids): https://www.gabrielenicolet.com/tell-the-story
Blog: https://www.gabrielenicolet.com/blog
Live Workshops: https://www.gabrielenicolet.com/live-workshops
On-Demand Workshops: https://www.gabrielenicolet.com/workshop-replays
Instagram: https://instagram.com/gabriele_nicolet
Facebook: https://facebook.com/gabriele.nicolet
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gabrielenicolet/
Free "Orchid Kid" Checklist: https://www.raisingorchidkids.com/orchid-kid-check-list-sign-up/
Enjoying the Show?
If Complicated Kids has been helpful, the best way to support the podcast is to follow, rate, and leave a quick review. It helps other parents find the show, and it means a lot.
If there's a topic you'd love to hear covered on a future episode, you can always reach out at podcast@complicatedkids.com. I love hearing what's on your mind and what would support your family.
Thank you for being here. 💛

Some kids are not unfocused. They just have not found the thing that gives their focus somewhere to go.
In this episode, I'm joined by Scott Proposki, a photographer, author, business coach, and founder of the Camera Focus Method™.
Scott is a former National Geographic and White House photographer, which is the kind of sentence that makes you immediately want to know more.
But what I was most interested in for this conversation was not just what Scott has done.
It was how his brain got him there.
Scott talks about growing up as the kid who did not do homework, who needed the deadline, who was thrilled with a C minus, and who later received an ADHD diagnosis that helped a lot of his life make more sense.
And then he found the camera.
For Scott, the camera became the thing that helped his attention organize itself. It gave him a focus, a direction, a way to see the world and make that seeing useful.
Which is where I think this conversation becomes really relevant for parents of complicated kids.
Because so many of our kids have uneven profiles. They may struggle deeply in one environment and come alive in another. They may look distracted, disorganized, or unmotivated until the right project, tool, topic, person, deadline, or vision snaps something into place.
And then suddenly, there they are.
Scott and I talk about creativity, ADHD, hyperfocus, business, reinvention, and what happens when the thing that made you different as a kid becomes part of the way you build a life.
We also talk about the adults around kids. The ones who notice the spark. The ones who help kids imagine what could be possible. The ones who do not only say, "Do your homework," but also help paint a picture of where a child's gifts might take them.
This is not a conversation about ignoring the hard parts.
Kids still need support. They need skills. They need structure. They need adults who can help them function in a world that will not always organize itself around their preferred interests.
But they also need adults who remember that school performance is not the whole child.
Sometimes the thing that does not look impressive on a report card is the thing that later becomes a career, a calling, a business, or a life.
And sometimes our job is to widen the lens long enough to help them find it.
Key Takeaways
A child who struggles in school may still have strong focus, creativity, drive, and vision in another setting.
ADHD-style attention is not always a lack of attention. Sometimes it is attention that organizes around interest, urgency, purpose, or possibility.
Hyperfocus can be a strength when it is paired with the right tool, project, or direction.
For Scott, the camera became the thing that helped his focus, creativity, and sense of purpose come together.
Some kids need help finding the medium, environment, or "magic wand" that allows their strengths to show up.
A later-in-life ADHD diagnosis can help adults make sense of patterns they have lived with for years.
School performance matters, but it is not the whole story of who a child is or what they may become.
Creative and neurodivergent kids may need structure, deadlines, and support that match how their brains actually work.
Parents can help by noticing sparks, naming strengths, and painting a picture of what could be possible.
A complicated path can still become a meaningful, successful, and deeply creative life.
About Scott Proposki
Scott Proposki is a photographer, author, business coach, and founder of the Camera Focus Method™. A former National Geographic and White House photographer, he has spent 27 years documenting stories for global brands and high-profile clients.
He is the author of four books, including Camera Focus. Scott is dedicated to helping creative entrepreneurs build resilient, sustainable businesses rooted in clarity and purpose.
About Your Host, Gabriele Nicolet
I'm Gabriele Nicolet, toddler whisperer, speech therapist, parenting life coach, and host of Complicated Kids. Each week, I share practical, relationship-based strategies for raising kids with big feelings, big needs, and beautifully different brains. My goal is to help families move from surviving to thriving by building connection, confidence, and clarity at home.
Complicated Kids Resources and Links
🌎 www.gabrielenicolet.com
📅 Schedule a free intro call: https://calendly.com/gabrielenicolet/free-15-minute-1-1-session
📺 Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@complicatedkids/featured
👾 Grab Tell the Story (anti-anxiety tool for kids): https://www.gabrielenicolet.com/tell-the-story
➡️ Instagram: https://instagram.com/gabriele_nicolet
➡️ Facebook: https://facebook.com/gabriele.nicolet
➡️ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gabrielenicolet/
🌺 Free "Orchid Kid" Checklist: https://www.raisingorchidkids.com/orchid-kid-check-list-sign-up/
Enjoying the Show?
If Complicated Kids has been helpful, the best way to support the podcast is to follow, rate, and leave a quick review. It helps other parents find the show, and it means a lot.
If there's a topic you'd love to hear covered on a future episode, you can always reach out at podcast@complicatedkids.com. I love hearing what's on your mind and what would support your family.
Thank you for being here. 💛

Some kids are not unfocused. They just have not found the thing that gives their focus somewhere to go.
In this episode, I'm joined by Scott Proposki, a photographer, author, business coach, and founder of the Camera Focus Method™.
Scott is a former National Geographic and White House photographer, which is the kind of sentence that makes you immediately want to know more.
But what I was most interested in for this conversation was not just what Scott has done.
It was how his brain got him there.
Scott talks about growing up as the kid who did not do homework, who needed the deadline, who was thrilled with a C minus, and who later received an ADHD diagnosis that helped a lot of his life make more sense.
And then he found the camera.
For Scott, the camera became the thing that helped his attention organize itself. It gave him a focus, a direction, a way to see the world and make that seeing useful.
Which is where I think this conversation becomes really relevant for parents of complicated kids.
Because so many of our kids have uneven profiles. They may struggle deeply in one environment and come alive in another. They may look distracted, disorganized, or unmotivated until the right project, tool, topic, person, deadline, or vision snaps something into place.
And then suddenly, there they are.
Scott and I talk about creativity, ADHD, hyperfocus, business, reinvention, and what happens when the thing that made you different as a kid becomes part of the way you build a life.
We also talk about the adults around kids. The ones who notice the spark. The ones who help kids imagine what could be possible. The ones who do not only say, "Do your homework," but also help paint a picture of where a child's gifts might take them.
This is not a conversation about ignoring the hard parts.
Kids still need support. They need skills. They need structure. They need adults who can help them function in a world that will not always organize itself around their preferred interests.
But they also need adults who remember that school performance is not the whole child.
Sometimes the thing that does not look impressive on a report card is the thing that later becomes a career, a calling, a business, or a life.
And sometimes our job is to widen the lens long enough to help them find it.
Key Takeaways
A child who struggles in school may still have strong focus, creativity, drive, and vision in another setting.
ADHD-style attention is not always a lack of attention. Sometimes it is attention that organizes around interest, urgency, purpose, or possibility.
Hyperfocus can be a strength when it is paired with the right tool, project, or direction.
For Scott, the camera became the thing that helped his focus, creativity, and sense of purpose come together.
Some kids need help finding the medium, environment, or "magic wand" that allows their strengths to show up.
A later-in-life ADHD diagnosis can help adults make sense of patterns they have lived with for years.
School performance matters, but it is not the whole story of who a child is or what they may become.
Creative and neurodivergent kids may need structure, deadlines, and support that match how their brains actually work.
Parents can help by noticing sparks, naming strengths, and painting a picture of what could be possible.
A complicated path can still become a meaningful, successful, and deeply creative life.
About Scott Proposki
Scott Proposki is a photographer, author, business coach, and founder of the Camera Focus Method™. A former National Geographic and White House photographer, he has spent 27 years documenting stories for global brands and high-profile clients.
He is the author of four books, including Camera Focus. Scott is dedicated to helping creative entrepreneurs build resilient, sustainable businesses rooted in clarity and purpose.
About Your Host, Gabriele Nicolet
I'm Gabriele Nicolet, toddler whisperer, speech therapist, parenting life coach, and host of Complicated Kids. Each week, I share practical, relationship-based strategies for raising kids with big feelings, big needs, and beautifully different brains. My goal is to help families move from surviving to thriving by building connection, confidence, and clarity at home.
Complicated Kids Resources and Links
🌎 www.gabrielenicolet.com
📅 Schedule a free intro call: https://calendly.com/gabrielenicolet/free-15-minute-1-1-session
📺 Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@complicatedkids/featured
👾 Grab Tell the Story (anti-anxiety tool for kids): https://www.gabrielenicolet.com/tell-the-story
➡️ Instagram: https://instagram.com/gabriele_nicolet
➡️ Facebook: https://facebook.com/gabriele.nicolet
➡️ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gabrielenicolet/
🌺 Free "Orchid Kid" Checklist: https://www.raisingorchidkids.com/orchid-kid-check-list-sign-up/
Enjoying the Show?
If Complicated Kids has been helpful, the best way to support the podcast is to follow, rate, and leave a quick review. It helps other parents find the show, and it means a lot.
If there's a topic you'd love to hear covered on a future episode, reach out at podcast@complicatedkids.com. I'd love to hear what would support your family.
Thank you for being here.