341 – Everyday Trauma
Working with Parents of Children with Disabilities – What to Do if You Don’t Get Onto the Next Course
In Episode 341 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, your hosts, Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly, take us through this week’s three topics:
Firstly in ‘Ethical, Sustainable Practice’, we explore the concept of everyday trauma.
Then in ‘Practice Matters’, Rory speaks with Ellie Finch and Dr. Jo Griffin about their CPD lecture, which focuses on working with parents of children with disabilities, complex medical conditions, and special educational needs.
And lastly in ‘Student Services’, Rory and Ken discuss what to do if you don’t get accepted onto the next stage of your counselling training, offering support and strategies for staying motivated.
Everyday Trauma [starts at 03:33 mins]
In this section, Rory and Ken discuss how trauma isn’t always caused by major events, it can also be the result of ongoing low-level stressors. These “small-t” traumas are often overlooked but can be just as impactful.
Key points include:
Everyday trauma includes repeated, subtle experiences that chip away at confidence and resilience over time.
Common sources of everyday trauma:
Education-based trauma – e.g. being misunderstood, shamed or unsupported at school.
Workplace trauma – e.g. toxic environments, bullying, redundancy, or job insecurity.
Medical trauma – mistrust or fear due to past negative healthcare experiences.
Poverty and discrimination – food insecurity, racism, homophobia, ableism, or unsafe housing.
Clients may minimise their experiences and not see them as “trauma”.
These experiences may cause:
Low self-esteem
Anxiety
Hypervigilance
Burnout
Internalised oppression
Rory and Ken highlight the importance of:
Being trauma-informed in your practice.
Responding with empathy and curiosity, not correction.
Holding a non-pathologising space where clients feel seen, heard, and accepted.
Looking out for body-based trauma responses, such as shaking, shallow breathing, or restlessness.
Working with Parents of Children with Disabilities [starts at 26:57 mins]
In this week’s Practice Matters, Rory is joined by Ellie Finch and Dr. Jo Griffin to discuss their new CPD lecture. They focus on how therapists can support parents who care for children with disabilities, complex medical conditions, or special educational needs (SEND).
Key points from this discussion include:
Parent-carers experience cumulative trauma from daily battles with healthcare, education, and support systems.
This trauma can present as:
Anger or withdrawal
Burnout and overwhelm
Grief over the imagined future for their child
Therapeutic considerations:
Be flexible with appointments.
Understand the systems (SEND, healthcare, social care) that they’re navigating.
Be aware of the emotional toll of constant advocacy.
Importance of recognising ‘inch-stones’ - small milestones that are deeply meaningful to parent-carers.
Avoid ‘toxic positivity’, it’s important to hold space for both joy and grief simultaneously.
What to Do if You Don’t Get Onto the Next Course [starts at 54:58 mins]
In this section, Rory and Ken talk through the common but difficult experience of not being accepted onto the next stage of your counselling course.
Key points include:
Course places are often capped due to awarding body restrictions - sometimes, it’s simply a numbers game.
Rejection doesn’t mean you’re not good enough - there can be many reasons, including tutor availability or institutional changes.
What you can do:
Ask for feedback from your tutor or application panel.
Reflect on any personal or academic development opportunities.
Apply to other institutions with similar training standards.
Stay focused on your ‘why’ - what made you want to be a counsellor?
Remember:
Many practising therapists were once rejected from a course.
New Zealand