More than Roommates

Your phone can be an incredible tool, but it can also quietly become one of the biggest distractions in your marriage. In this episode, Derek, Andrew, and Gabrielle talk honestly about screen time, social media, work boundaries, pornography, and practical ways to make your spouse more important than your screen.

RESOURCES
Harris Creek Sermon Series “Removed”

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1- When do our phones distract us the most from one another?
2- Have you ever felt less important than my phone?
3- What boundaries around technology would help us connect more?
4- What would one phone-free hour every evening look like?
5- Is there any app that has more influence over me than it should?
6- How can we help each other without becoming controlling?

Most couples think about selfishness as an individual problem, but what if a marriage itself can become inward-focused? In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss what it means to steward your marriage for God's glory, leverage your resources for the Kingdom, and move from keeping score to living on mission together.

Discussion Questions
1- When we honestly evaluate our marriage, are we more inward-focused or Kingdom-focused? If someone observed our marriage for a month, would they conclude we're living on mission?
Where do we tend to keep score against each other?
2- Which area are we stewarding well? Not well? Time, Money, Resources, Health, Gifts
3- Who outside our family is being impacted by our marriage?
4- What is one practical step we could take this month to better leverage our marriage for God's Kingdom?

Conflict is inevitable in marriage, but it doesn't have to be destructive. In this episode, Derek, Andrew, and Gabrielle discuss how to move from unhealthy patterns of defensiveness and scorekeeping toward biblical reconciliation, healthy communication, and deeper intimacy.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
- When conflict arises, do you naturally move toward fight, flight, or freeze?
- Which unhealthy conflict pattern shows up most often in your marriage?
- What family-of-origin experiences influence the way you handle disagreement?
- How would your conflicts change if your mindset became "How do we win?" instead of "How do I win?"
- Do you have trusted people in your life who can help mediate conflict when needed?
- Is there an unresolved conflict that needs a conversation this week?

RESOURCES:
The Thing Beneath the Thing by Steve Carter
Harris Creek sermon series: "Conflicted"

Sex is one of the most talked-about topics in culture, but can be one of the least understood topics in the church.
This week, Derek and Gabrielle sit down with pastor and author Mick Murray to discuss God's beautiful vision for sexuality, how sin distorts intimacy, why marriage doesn't automatically heal sexual brokenness, and how couples can pursue greater intimacy, healing, and freedom together.

RESOURCES
Books
- A Beautiful Vision by Mick Murray
Podcasts
- Meditations (Mick Murray)
- Ideology (Mick Murray)

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
- What messages about sex did you learn growing up?
- Have we ever treated sex primarily as self-serving rather than self-giving?
- Are there unspoken expectations about intimacy that we need to discuss?
- What barriers currently keep us from greater emotional intimacy?
- How can we invite God more intentionally into this area of our marriage?

When one spouse travels regularly for work, it puts unique pressure on a marriage. From loneliness and temptation to resentment and drift, there are lots of potential issues it can create. In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott Kedersha get honest about what it really takes to keep a marriage thriving when work keeps pulling you apart.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
- If one of you travels regularly for work, how well have you built communication rhythms that actually work for both of you — not just the one traveling?
- Scott talked about picking up the phone even when he'd rather not. Where in your marriage right now are you letting your own preference win over what your spouse needs?
- What temptations are most likely to come up for you specifically when you're isolated — and have you named those out loud to anyone?
- Scott said distance will exasperate any existing unhealth in a marriage, not heal it. Before taking or keeping a job that requires heavy travel, how honest are you being about the current state of your marriage?
- If you are the spouse who stays home: does your traveling spouse know specifically what would help you feel most supported before they leave and while they're gone?
- When your spouse returns from a trip, what does re-entry look like in your home — and is there anything you could do to make that transition healthier?
- Scott gave a shout-out to Kristen for holding things down at home. When did you last genuinely thank your spouse for their specific role in your marriage — whether they travel or stay home?