Psychologists Off the Clock

We’ve all been there: you’re scrolling through your feed, watching someone bake sourdough from scratch in a pristine linen dress, and suddenly your own life feels incredibly messy and chaotic.
In this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, Debbie and Emily are pulling back the curtain on the hyper-curated worlds of social media influencers, reality TV, and the massive "tradwife" trend.
Grab your headphones and get ready for a much-needed reality check on why we need to be way more skeptical of what we see on our screens.

Listen and Learn:
What happened when Debbie fell down a Ballerina Farm rabbit hole
How glamorous images of the past conveniently leave out the harsh realities of history, like poverty, oppression, and environmental harm
How reality shows feed us false ideals, driving us into a spiral of social comparison and reinforcing toxic, patriarchal beauty standards
Why chasing these unrealistic lifestyles actually hurts our well-being
The rise of fear-based pseudoscience, MLMs, and totally unqualified "mental health influencers" who are just looking for clicks

Resources:
Debbie’s recent Substack post on Tradwife Influencers: https://open.substack.com/pub/drdebbiesorensen/p/trad-wife-influencers-reflections
The critique Debbie mentioned about how making cereal from scratch is a leisure class activity: https://www.tiktok.com/@professorneil/video/7339254814578150661
Maintenance Phase podcast: https://www.maintenancephase.com/
The Dream podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xc28XHKS2jY

About Debbie Sorensen
Debbie (she/her) is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Denver, Colorado with a bachelor’s degree in Psychology and Anthropology from the University of Colorado, Boulder, and a Ph.D. in Psychology from Harvard University. She is author of the book ACT for Burnout: Recharge, Reconnect, and Transform Burnout with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and co-author of ACT Daily Journal: Get Unstuck and Live Fully with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. She loves living in Colorado, her home state, with her husband, two daughters, and dog. When she’s not busy working or podcasting, she enjoys reading fiction, cooking, traveling, and getting outdoors in the beautiful Rocky Mountains! You can learn more about Debbie, read her blog, and find out about upcoming presentations and training events at her webpage, drdebbiesorensen.com.

About Emily Edlynn
Emily (she/her) is a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in pediatric health psychology who works in private practice with children, teens, and adults. She has a BA in English from Smith College, a PhD in clinical psychology from Loyola University Chicago, and completed postgraduate training at Stanford and Children’s Hospital Orange County. Emily spent almost ten years working in children’s hospitals before pivoting to private practice, which allowed her to start a writing career. Emily has written her blog, The Art and Science of Mom, since 2017 and a parenting advice column for Parents.com since 2019. Emily’s writing has also appeared in the Washington Post, Scary Mommy, Good Housekeeping, Motherly, and more. She recently added author to her bio with her book, Autonomy-Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent Confident Children and has a Substack newsletter. Emily lives with her husband, three children, and two rescue dogs in Oak Park, IL where she can see Chicago’s skyline from her attic window.

Related Episodes:
295. Buyer Beware: Pseudoscience and the Wellness Industry, featuring Pooja Lakshmin
390. Raising Empowered Girls in a Sexist World with Jo-Ann Finkelstein
311. Nobody’s Fool with Daniel Simons and Christopher Chabris – Psychologists Off the Clock
307. Navigating Social Media As a Parent with Cara Goodwin
433. Rethinking Screens and Video Games with Ash Brandin
382. The Anxious Generation? The Conversation We Should Be Having About Kids, Technology, and Mental Health
429. May Contain Lies with Alex Edmans

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We’ve been told forever that women are the only natural caregivers, but neuroscience shows that’s just not true; men actually go through huge biological shifts when they become dads, too.
Sitting down with Emily for this episode is clinical psychologist Darby Saxbe, who chats to us about her book Dad Brain: The New Science of Fatherhood and How It Shapes Men’s Lives, which challenges neo-traditional assumptions about parenting roles.
Their conversation highlights the biological reality of fatherhood, exploring how men experience hormonal shifts, brain changes, and even paternal postpartum depression.
Darby also uncovers how hands-on parenting trends are shifting across generations, the connection between relationship conflict and a dad's mental health, and how policy changes like paid paternity leave can transform modern family dynamics.

Listen and Learn:
How the modern science of fatherhood rewrites traditional gender roles, why the "Dad Brain" is biologically wired for caregiving, and how millennial and Gen Z fathers are redefining the rewards and divides of modern parenting
The concept of "facultative adaptation" and how it shapes the natural variability of fatherhood
How a father's brain and body prepare for parenthood during pregnancy
How a couple’s relationship conflict during pregnancy can directly impact the labor and delivery experience
Why the prenatal period is a critical window for couples to proactively strengthen their communication, navigate relationship shifts, and better manage the stress and emotional toll of childbirth and early parenthood
The ways postpartum depression manifests in new dads
How a father's hormone levels naturally drop after birth and why high testosterone can unexpectedly strain romantic relationships and parenting
The unique benefits of the father-child relationship
Why we need to view men's mental health through a family lens
How progressive policy shifts are working to empower and destigmatize active fatherhood

Resources:
Dad Brain: The New Science of Fatherhood and How It Shapes Men’s Lives https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781250387523
Darby’s Website: https://www.darbysaxbe.com
Darby’s Substack: https://darbysaxbe.substack.com
Connect with Darby on Social Media:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/darbysaxbe
https://www.instagram.com/darbysaxbephd/
Behind Every Dad Bod is a Healthy Dad Brain https://www.nytimes.com/2026/06/06/opinion/dad-brain-health-fatherhood.html

About Darby Saxbe
Darby Saxbe, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and tenured full professor of psychology at the University of Southern California.
She has published over eighty scientific articles in peer-reviewed journals and secured major research grants from the National Institutes of Health and National Science Foundation. She earned awards from the American Psychological Association and the Society for Research in Child Development and was a Fulbright fellow. Dr. Saxbe received her PhD in clinical psychology from UCLA and her BA in English and psychology from Yale University.
Her research focuses on the transition to parenthood, particularly the neural and hormonal underpinnings of fatherhood. She integrates neuroscience and psychology to explore how close connections shape health and wellbeing.
When she is not doing research, she hangs out with her husband and two kids, plays guitar in an all-mom indie rock band, and writes the Substack newsletter, Natal Gazing. She was a mediocre contestant on the show Who Wants to Be A Millionaire and recently lost a chili cookoff.

Related Episodes:
446. Cognitive Household Labor with Allison Daminger
445. The Unexpected Magic of Caring with Elissa Strauss
361. Dudes and Dads: Men’s Mental Health with Danny Singley
206. Fair Play Part 2 with Eve Rodsky
176. Fair Play with Eve Rodsky

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When a survivor speaks up, the world too often demands a 'perfect victim' before it offers belief, a painful reality that leaves many wondering if their truth will ever be enough.
In this episode with Deborah Tuerkheimer, author of Credible: Why We Doubt Accusers and Protect Abusers, we hear about the “credibility complex,” including credibility discount and credibility inflation, rape myths, the “perfect victim” and “monster abuser” archetypes, and how victim-blaming and disbelief are reinforced by culture and legal rules.
You’ll also learn about underreporting, the “second assault,” trauma-informed investigation, expert testimony on trauma dynamics, and how loved ones can respond supportively when someone discloses abuse. Listen in to understand why credibility judgments are patterned and how believing, validating, and offering help can change what happens next.

Listen and Learn:
The credibility complex and how social power dynamics cause the credibility of marginalized individuals to be discounted while powerful individuals receive an inflated boost
Why society perpetuates rape myths and victim-blaming
How the "perfect victim" myth is weaponized against survivors in the legal system
How institutional disbelief and victim-blaming are systemic realities baked into the penal code
Why cultural tropes and a deep-seated "care gap" cause society to minimize astronomical statistics, overstate the prevalence of false reports, and prioritize the futures of perpetrators over the lives of victims
How the cultural myth of the "monster abuser" prevents fair credibility judgments by creating a false archetype of a deviant stranger
How the justice system creates an institutional imbalance by weaponizing an accuser's personal history while shielding a perpetrator’s past behavior
How physical attractiveness acts as a "Goldilocks" trap for victims' credibility
Why true progress relies on upending a systemic culture of impunity rather than relying solely on institutional training

Resources:
Credible: Why We Doubt Accusers and Protect Abusers https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780063002760
Deborah’s Website: https://www.deborahtuerkheimer.com

About Deborah Tuerkheimer
Deborah Tuerkheimer is a professor at Northwestern University Pritzker School of Law. She earned her undergraduate degree from Harvard College and her law degree from Yale Law School. Tuerkheimer served for five years as an Assistant District Attorney in the New York County District Attorney's Office, where she specialized in domestic violence and child abuse prosecution. She teaches and writes in the areas of criminal law, evidence, and feminist legal theory. She is also the author of CREDIBLE: Why We Doubt Accusers and Protect Abusers (Harper Wave/HarperCollins).

Related Episodes:
19. Keeping Children Safe from Sexual Abuse with Feather Berkower
84. Courageous Conversations to Prevent Childhood Sexual Abuse with Feather Berkower
163. The Likeability Trap with Alicia Menendez
394. Sunlight is the Best Disinfectant with Andrea Dunlop and Mike Weber
399. Likable Badass with Alison Fragale
421. Defy with Sunita Sah
436. Consent Laid Bare with Chanel Contos
448. The Power of Oversharing with Leslie John

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It’s easy to live life on autopilot, with your eyes glued to a screen, completely disconnected from your physical surroundings.
But as we learn in this episode with Leidy Klotz, the spaces you inhabit aren't just backdrops; they are actively shaping your mind, moods, and memories.
Talking about Leidy’s latest book, In a Good Place, you’ll hear about Leidy’s framework of agency, growth, and belonging; why attention to physical environments matters in an age of screens and automation; how workplaces and homes can support different needs through thoughtful choice and design; and how spaces anchor powerful memories.

Listen and Learn:
Modern automation and screen time are subtly changing the way you interact with your physical surroundings and how you can intentionally reclaim your agency in the environments you navigate every day
Why some modern architectural choices and environmental distractions might actually be making it harder for you to form genuine connections with the people right in front of you
Breaking through modern habits, tune out your digital devices, and actively re-engage with the world around you
How different personality types navigate physical environments
How having personal agency and direct control over one's space profoundly increases comfort levels
Allowing spaces to serve as powerful physical conduits for processing grief, honoring lost loved ones, and preserving their spirit through physical landmarks

Resources:
Subtract The Untapped Science of Less https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781250249876
In a Good Place: How the Spaces Where We Live, Work, and Play Can Help Us Thrive https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780316567367
Jill’s newsletter post about the sweet spot: https://jillstoddard.substack.com/p/the-one-question-that-can-unlock?utm_source=publication-search
Leidy’s website: https://leidyklotz.com/

About Leidy Klotz:
Leidy Klotz is a professor at the University of Virginia whose research sits at the intersection of physical design and behavioral science. Before academia, he designed schools in New Jersey — and before that, he played professional soccer. A man who has never met a lane he wasn't willing to cross.
His first book, Subtract, uncovered our systematic bias toward adding rather than removing, and what we lose in the process. His latest, In a Good Place: How the Spaces Where We Live, Work, and Play Can Help Us Thrive, explores how the spaces we inhabit quietly shape how we think, feel, and connect — usually without our awareness. It's also a deeply personal book whose emotional resonance defies easy summary.

Related Episodes:
182. Stretch with Scott Sonenshein
211. Subtract with Leidy Klotz

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When was the last time you sparked up a conversation with a stranger and surprised yourself with how good it felt?
Behavioral scientist Nicholas Epley, author of A Little More Social, returns to the podcast to discuss with Michael why we systematically underestimate how positively strangers respond, how connection supports happiness, health, and longevity, and the key mechanisms behind our social pessimism (misjudging warmth vs. competence, overlooking reciprocity, and self-fulfilling avoidance).
Nicholas shares research on how quickly people update after a conversation and how fast those gains can fade, plus practical “easy choice” experiments like asking someone to take your photo or simply asking, “Can you tell me your story?”
Plus, in a special post-interview discussion, listener-turned-friend of Michael’s, therapist Dr. Jennifer Kauder, joins Michael to reflect on voice vs. text, comfort-zone challenges, and why real-time connection changes everything.

Listen and Learn:
The surprising benefits of connecting with people you don't know, and why our minds trick us into fearing these interactions that can lengthen and enrich our lives
Psychological traps that make us overly pessimistic about reaching out to others, and why we miss out on deeper, happier connections due to misplaced expectations
Research on why trying to push past social awkwardness just once isn't enough, and why our brains quickly forget positive interactions
Why our confidence drops right before we approach someone new, the psychology behind why starting a conversation is much easier than anticipating it, and how small mindsets can instantly dissolve social anxiety
A simple, foolproof question that skips past awkward small talk, ignites genuine curiosity, and uncovers the fascinating, hidden stories

Resources:
A Little More Social: How Small Choices Create Unexpected Happiness, Health, and Connection https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780593319543
Nicholas’ Website: https://www.nicholasepley.com/
Nicholas Epley on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicholas-epley/
Michael's Confidence Course: https://herold.coach/course
Rejection Proof by Jia Jiang: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780804141383

About Nicholas Epley
Nicholas Epley is the John Templeton Keller Distinguished Service Professor of Behavioral Science and Director of the Roman Family Center for Decision Research, at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. He studies social cognition—how thinking people think about other thinking people—to understand why smart people so routinely misunderstand each other. He teaches an ethics and happiness course to MBA students called Designing a Good Life. His research has appeared in more than two dozen empirical journals, been featured by the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, CNN, Wired, and National Public Radio, among many others, and has been funded by the National Science Foundation and the Templeton Foundation. He has been awarded the 2008 Theoretical Innovation Award from the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, the 2011 Distinguished Scientific Award for Early Career Contribution to Psychology from the American Psychological Association, the 2015 Book Prize for the Promotion of Social and Personality Science, and the 2018 Career Trajectory Award from the Society for Experimental Social Psychology. Epley was named a “professor to watch” by the Financial Times, one of the “World’s Best 40 under 40 Business School Professors” by Poets and Quants, and one of the 100 Most Influential in Business Ethics in 2015 by Ethisphere. He is the author of Mindwise: How We Understand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want.
His new book, A Little More Social: How Small Choices Create Unexpected Happiness, Health, and Connection, was published in May! (Our UK listeners will find the book titled Hello: The Unexpected Power of Choosing To Connect)

Related Episodes
422. Mindwise with Nicholas Epley
454. Remain Calm. Confidence Ahead with Michael Herold
313. ACT-Informed Exposure for Anxiety with Brian Pilecki and Brian Thompson
393. Supercommunicators with Charles Duhigg
360. The Laws of Connection with David Robson

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