The Hidden Biology of Holding On: Toxins, Trauma & True Freedom
Our bodies hold onto trauma, toxins, and pain for biological reasons—not willpower. Dr. Aimie Apigian shares her bathtub breaking point and the 3-phase Biology of Trauma® framework that changed everything: how to prepare, open channels, and safely release what our nervous systems have been protecting us from. After her third collarbone break in a 2017 car accident, Dr. Aimie found herself back in depression, chronic fatigue, and developing chronic pain—despite years of therapy and functional medicine work. Crying in a bathtub, she realized her body wasn't broken; it was scared to let go. This episode reveals her discovery of the hidden connection between emotional toxins, psychological toxins, and biochemical toxins—and why our nervous systems hold on to all three. You'll learn the exact six-step process that moves through preparation, opening drainage pathways, and active release, plus why forcing detoxification before our bodies feel safe makes symptoms worse, not better. This framework bridges somatic healing, nervous system regulation, and functional medicine for both individuals struggling with stored trauma and practitioners helping clients who feel stuck. Whether we're dealing with chronic pain, autoimmunity, insomnia, or anxiety that won't shift, or we're therapists or health professionals seeking trauma-informed approaches, this episode explains how to create a biology of letting go. Dr. Aimie shows us how to work with our bodies' protective wisdom instead of fighting against it—so we can finally experience the freedom, authenticity, and healing our nervous systems have been waiting to feel safe enough to allow. In this episode you'll learn: [03:32] Why Your Body Holds On: The relationship with the past that serves survival and the parts that aren't ready to let go [07:00] The Body Trauma Loop: Nervous system pattern of looping between stress and overwhelm that keeps you stuck holding on [12:37] Holding On to Regrets: How regret creates bracing and collapse in the body and why it's one of the hardest things to release [14:58] When Life Didn't Go as Supposed: The deep sadness of holding on to how things were meant to be instead of what is [19:21] The Biggest Myth About Letting Go: Why letting go isn't a decision you make but a biology your body needs to feel safe enough to create [20:33] Three Types of Toxins We Hold: Emotional toxins, psychological toxins, and biochemical toxins all accumulate the same way in your body [23:32] Why Bodies Hold Biochemical Toxins: When you have a biology of holding on emotionally, you also hold mold, metals, parasites, and environmental toxins [28:00] Three Phases of Letting Go: Preparation, opening channels, and deep cleaning—why skipping preparation makes everything worse [31:52] What Happens When You Detox Wrong: Fatigue, mood issues, sleep problems, and brain fog all worsen when deep cleaning happens without open channels [34:11] The Six-Week Process: Creating safety, building support, working with breath, pacing the release, feeling emotions, and active detoxification [38:45] Opening Drainage Pathways: Why poop, pee, and sweat matter for letting go and how constipation keeps trauma stuck [41:00] Always Do Phases One and Two: Why you should always be resourced with open channels even when not actively detoxifying Main Takeaways: Letting Go is Biology, Not Decision: Your body holds on because it doesn't believe letting go is safe yet, not because you lack willpower or haven't decided to move forward with your mind Emotional and Biochemical Toxins Connect: When you hold emotional toxins from regrets and psychological toxins from limiting beliefs, your biology also holds biochemical toxins like mold, heavy metals, and parasites The Body Trauma Loop Keeps You Stuck: Nervous systems that loop between stress and overwhelm without reaching calm aliveness create a biology of holding on rather than releasing Deep Cleaning Without Preparation Retraumatizes: Doing intensive trauma work or detoxification before opening your channels and creating safety brings pain to the surface without allowing it to leave, making symptoms worse Regrets Create Bracing and Collapse: Holding on to regrets shows up as simultaneous bracing in shoulders and collapse in chest and heart, demonstrating how past pain lives in present body Dysregulation Multiplied by Time Becomes Chronic Conditions: Twenty years of nervous system dysregulation creates autoimmunity, chronic pain, and long-haul syndromes through accumulated toxin burden that body won't release Three Phases Must Follow Sequence: Preparation creates safety, opening channels allows ventilation, and deep cleaning releases what's ready—skipping steps or reversing order causes more harm than healing Always Resource and Keep Channels Open: Even when not actively detoxifying, you should always be doing phases one and two to prevent accumulation and stay ready for life's hard experiences Notable Quotes: "If it makes you sick 20 years later, that wasn't stress—that was trauma. You see childhood through adult eyes now, but that's not how you lived it." "Trauma becomes our biology. Then our biology blocks our healing, joy, and authenticity." "The more emotional toxins we hold, the more biochemical toxins our body holds—mold, plastics, heavy metals, parasites." "Deep cleaning without release retraumatizes us. We surface the trauma but don't let it leave. It makes things worse." "Once we recognize we're holding on, the choice becomes clear: stay small and safe, or let go safely and live freely." Episode Takeaway: Letting go isn't about willpower—it's biology our nervous system needs to feel safe to create. When we hold emotional toxins, our body creates a biology of holding on. That same biology holds biochemical toxins: mold, heavy metals, parasites. Our bodies don't distinguish between toxic emotions and toxic chemicals. Both require the same three-phase process to release safely. Preparation creates safety so our nervous system considers letting go. Opening channels provides ventilation so what surfaces can actually leave. Deep cleaning happens last because without preparation, pain surfaces with nowhere to go. This is why intensive trauma work or aggressive detox makes fatigue, mood, and pain worse. The key insight: always do phases one and two, even when not actively detoxifying. Keep our drainage pathways open to prevent accumulation. When we're emotionally or physically constipated, toxins build up instead of moving through. Letting go becomes a way of being—creating a biology that releases rather than holds on. Resources/Guides: Visit biologyoftrauma.com for more resources on the Biology of Trauma® framework The Biology of Trauma book - Available now everywhere books are sold. Get your copy Foundational Journey - If you are ready to create your inner safety and shift your nervous system, join me and my team for this 6 week journey of practical somatic and mind-body inner child practices. Lay your foundation to do the deeper work safely and is the pre-requisite for becoming a Biology of Trauma® professional. Related Episodes: Episode 1: What Professionals Need to Know About the Chronic Freeze Response with Dr. Peter Levine Episode 57: ACEs: How the Body Holds and Hides Pain with Dr. Vincent Felitti our host: Dr. Aimie Apigian, double board-certified physician (Preventive/Addiction Medicine) with master's degrees in biochemistry and public health, and author of the national bestselling book "The Biology of Trauma" (foreword by Gabor Maté) that transforms our understanding of how the body experiences and holds trauma. After foster-adopting a child during medical school sparked her journey, she desperately sought for answers that would only continue as she developed chronic health issues. Through her practitioner training, podcast, YouTube channel, and international speaking, she bridges functional medicine, attachment and trauma therapy, facilitating accelerated repair of trauma's impact on the mind, body and biology. Disclaimer: By listening to this podcast, you agree not to use this podcast as medical, psychological, or mental health advice to treat any medical or psychological condition in yourself or others. This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your own physician, therapist, psychiatrist, or other qualified health provider regarding any physical or mental health issues you may be experiencing. Comment Etiquette: I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Please share and use your name or initials so that we can keep this space spam-free and the discussion positive😌
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