The Forgotten Podcast

In this episode of The Forgotten Podcast, host Jami Kaeb welcomes back Dr. Mary Ann McMillan, a former foster youth, adoptee, author, speaker, and follower of Christ. Rejoining the show after previously sharing her story on Episode 243, Dr. Mary Ann dives deep into the concept of resilience—a word frequently used to describe adoptees and former foster youth. She redefines resilience not as a rigid expectation to tough things out or be strong alone, but as an ongoing, lifelong journey of choosing to heal, accepting weakness, and allowing oneself to be soft.
Dr. Mary Ann opens up about the pressure of feeling forced to live up to the "strong" label throughout her life, which often made her feel like a failure whenever she experienced normal human emotions. She discusses how therapy and her faith helped her embrace her tender, empathetic nature, step into her authentic voice, and reject the perfectionist trap of having to carry everyone else's burdens. She also highlights the distinct weight of emotional and verbal abuse, explaining how those harmful voices often linger long after physical safety has been established.
The conversation offers crucial insights for adults, churches, and caregivers who support youth from hard places. Dr. Mary Ann advocates for mandatory trauma-informed training for children's ministry leaders and emphasizes the importance of ongoing support for adoptive families well beyond adoption day. She encourages listeners—especially those navigating past trauma—to reject isolation, establish healthy boundaries with friends and family, and lean on safe community, prayer, and professional support to experience true, directional healing.
About the Guest
Dr. Mary Ann McMillan is a former foster youth, adoptee, speaker, and author who is passionate about integrating spiritual formation with therapeutic insight. Placed in foster care at five months old and later adopted alongside her sister at age six, she offers honest, theologically rooted conversations around adoption, foster care, orphan care reform, and human rights. Dr. Mary Ann is the author of Bridging Resilience: A Guide to Healing and regularly speaks at churches, universities, and conferences.
In This Episode
Redefining resilience as a lifelong journey of healing rather than an obligation to be tough or carry burdens alone.
The pressure adoptees face from the "strong" label and how embracing softness and vulnerability fosters emotional wholeness.
The lasting impact of verbal and emotional abuse compared to physical trauma, and the process of replacing lingering lies with truth.
Why churches and children's ministry leaders need trauma-informed training to create safe, supportive environments for foster and adoptive families.
Resources + Links
Learn more about The Forgotten Initiative - https://theforgotteninitiative.org/
Follow TFI on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/theforgotteninitiative/
Uncovering Your Story as a Former Foster Youth (Ep. 243 w/ Dr. Mary Ann McMillan) - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-243-uncovering-your-story-as-a-former/id1106738239?i=1000662962717
Bridging Resilience: A Guide to Healing by Dr. Mary Ann McMillan - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D1X3YJ8P

In this episode of The Forgotten Podcast, host Jami Kaeb welcomes Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, a board-certified internal medicine physician, bestselling author, and internationally recognized expert on rest, resilience, and wellbeing. Together, they explore the critical concept of sacred rest and why it is essential, rather than a luxury, for caregivers and foster parents supporting children from hard places. Dr. Saundra redefines rest as a restorative process of pouring back into places of emotional, mental, and physical depletion, explaining the spiritual truth that we ultimately rest at the level of our trust in God.
Dr. Saundra breaks down the key differences between sleep and rest, emphasizing that while sleep addresses basic physical needs, it cannot heal depleted relationships, process heavy emotions, or restore creative problem-solving abilities. She introduces her Seven Types of Rest framework—encompassing physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, social, sensory, and creative rest—and shares how caregivers can identify their specific deficits. The conversation also examines the World Health Organization's criteria for burnout and offers practical ways to begin recovering without needing to create extra time, such as habit stacking restorative practices onto daily routines.
The episode highlights the importance of distinguishing true self-care and personal boundaries from pampering, as well as setting up intentional rhythms like Sabbath or extended abiding time to prevent burnout. Dr. Saundra encourages weary listeners by reminding them that burnout is entirely reversible when approached with intentionality. By starting with small, daily restorative choices, caregivers can replenish their own soul and spirit, ensuring they remain sustainable in the vital work of loving and serving vulnerable children.
About the Guest
Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith is a board-certified internal medicine physician, bestselling author, and internationally recognized expert on rest, resilience, and wellbeing. She is the creator of the Seven Types of Rest framework and author of Sacred Rest, equipping audiences worldwide with practical tools to overcome burnout, increase productivity, and achieve sustainable success. Through her unique blend of medical research and biblical wisdom, Dr. Saundra empowers individuals to thrive both personally and professionally.
In This Episode
Understanding sacred rest as a restorative process and why we rest at the level of our trust in God.
The critical distinctions between sleep and the Seven Types of Rest framework.
Identifying the signs of burnout and using simple habits like habit stacking to restore energy without adding extra time to your day.
Differentiating genuine self-care and intentional rhythms from pampering to build long-term sustainability as a caregiver.
Resources + Links
Learn more about The Forgotten Initiative - https://theforgotteninitiative.org/
Follow TFI on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/theforgotteninitiative/

In this episode of The Forgotten Podcast, host Jami Kaeb welcomes Chris and Alicia Johnson to discuss caring for and prioritizing marriage during seasons of crisis and hard foster care placements. Chris, Vice President of Church Engagement at Lifeline Children's Services, and Alicia, a former pastor's wife and teacher, share their journey of raising ten children (seven adopted from foster care) and fostering over forty kids. They open up about the immense strain that taking in high-needs teenagers and sibling groups placed on their household, their co-parenting dynamic, and their marriage.
The Johnsons discuss the emotional weight, trauma, and spiritual warfare involved in foster care and adoption, explaining how intense seasons bring existing marital gaps to the surface. Through personal anecdotes, they detail how they learned to navigate seasons of chaos by shifting from accusatory language to vulnerable "I feel" statements, establishing simple grounding habits, and protecting daily time for connection. They emphasize that maintaining a strong, unified marriage serves as a vital safety net that removes anxiety for children who have already experienced profound disruption and loss.
Chris and Alicia also address overcoming the guilt parents feel when taking time away from their children, pointing out that modeling a healthy, loving, and forgiving marriage is one of the greatest gifts caregivers can give. They encourage listeners to lean into intentional Christian community, accept support from others without shame, and maintain an eternal perspective through life's hardest trials, offering a powerful reminder that fighting for a marriage is always worth the effort.

About the Guest
Chris and Alicia Johnson have been married for 31 years and are parents to 10 children (seven adopted through foster care) and grandparents to two children adopted through foster care. Chris serves as the Vice President of Church Engagement at Lifeline Children's Services, bringing over two decades of pastoral experience and previous service as Executive Director of the Kentucky Governor's Office of Faith and Community-Based Initiatives. Alicia has served as a pastor's wife, teacher, mentor, and special advisor to the First Lady of Kentucky. Together, they have fostered over 40 children and are passionate advocates for supporting families and vulnerable children.

In This Episode
The unique challenges and emotional weight of bringing high-needs teenagers and sibling groups into the home.
Recognizing spiritual warfare and how hardship brings underlying marital gaps to the surface.
Practical communication strategies for spouses, including using "I feel" statements to prevent defensiveness.
The vital role of community support and avoiding the trap of trying to manage crisis seasons alone.

Resources + Links
Learn more about The Forgotten Initiative - https://theforgotteninitiative.org/
Follow TFI on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/theforgotteninitiative/

On this episode of The Forgotten Podcast, host Jami Kaeb welcomes Dr. Dusty Hess, a nationally recognized functional medical doctor, speaker, author, and founder of Upstream Health. Together, they explore a critical topic for foster and adoptive families: understanding and supporting children who have been impacted by prenatal drug and alcohol exposure. Dr. Hess helps shift the narrative for struggling caregivers, offering profound hope by explaining that what often presents as behavioral defiance is actually a physiological response from a nervous system adapted to survive difficult circumstances.
Dr. Hess details the biological mechanics of how substances and chronic maternal stress alter brain development in the womb, impacting neuron formation, dopamine pathways, and stress response systems. He breaks down the behavioral clues that indicate a child is living in a chronic fight-or-flight state, including explosive emotional reactions, sensory sensitivities, sleep disturbances, and difficulty with transitions. Throughout the episode, he emphasizes the importance of looking beneath surface behaviors, documenting patterns with curiosity, and addressing underlying biological causes like gut-brain connection issues, blood sugar instability, and toxic burdens.
Rather than relying on legalistic or punitive parenting strategies, Dr. Hess equips caregivers with practical ways to build biological safety through environmental changes. He shares actionable tips for establishing consistent household rhythms, creating soothing bedtime routines to improve sleep quality, and regulating a child’s nervous system by maintaining a calm, organized home. Packed with encouragement, this conversation reminds parents that healing is a gradual, directional process and that even small, intentional steps can powerfully shape a child’s path toward safety and wholeness.
About the Guest
Dr. Dusty Hess is a nationally recognized functional medical doctor, author, speaker, and the founder of Upstream Health, a movement dedicated to helping Christian families reclaim their health through God's original design. Through his practice and public speaking, Dr. Hess specializes in getting to the root cause of chronic health and neurological challenges by looking at biological, environmental, and lifestyle factors. He is passionate about empowering caregivers and foster parents with personalized, practical tools that foster long-term healing and biological safety for vulnerable children.
In This Episode
Recognizing the behavioral clues of prenatal drug and alcohol exposure, including emotional volatility, transition challenges, and sensory sensitivities.
How prenatal substance exposure and maternal stress alter brain development, dopamine pathways, and nervous system regulation.
The biological drivers behind dysregulation, including the gut-brain connection, blood sugar swings, and sleep dysfunction.
Practical tools for creating biological safety at home through consistent rhythms, calming bedtime routines, and an organized, regulated environment.
Resources + Links
Learn more about The Forgotten Initiative - https://theforgotteninitiative.org/
Follow TFI on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/theforgotteninitiative/
Understanding & Supporting Kids with Prenatal Drug and Alcohol Exposure - https://onedrive.live.com/?id=%2Fpersonal%2Fa3caa6cbe49cc1ae%2FDocuments%2FDesktop%2FTFI%20Files%2FPodcast%20Recordings%2FTFP%2FDusty%20Hess%2FUnderstanding%20%26%20Supporting%20Kids%20with%20Prenatal%20Drug%20and%20Alcohol%20Exposure%2Epdf&listurl=%2Fpersonal%2Fa3caa6cbe49cc1ae%2FDocuments&ithint=file%2Cpdf&e=BkW1Zk&migratedtospo=true&parent=%2Fpersonal%2Fa3caa6cbe49cc1ae%2FDocuments%2FDesktop%2FTFI%20Files%2FPodcast%20Recordings%2FTFP%2FDusty%20Hess&redeem=aHR0cHM6Ly8xZHJ2Lm1zL2IvYy9hM2NhYTZjYmU0OWNjMWFlL0lRQjBzZFlMcWUxSVJMYklzYW9QeExqUEFRTHVwbUdOb0JGSU5jLUVsYTlBbFFjP2U9QmtXMVpr&ga=1

In this episode of The Forgotten Podcast, host Jami Kaeb welcomes back Sarah Mackenzie, author, podcast host, and founder of Read-Aloud Revival. Sarah brings her deep passion for storytelling and family connection to address a challenge that foster and adoptive parents often face: how to build safety, trust, and meaningful attachment with children who have experienced trauma, disruption, or loss.
Sarah shares how reading aloud serves as a powerful, non-threatening bridge to connection. She explains the brain science behind shared reading, detailing how listening to a story lowers cortisol levels and releases oxytocin—the hormone responsible for bonding and emotional safety. For children in foster care or adoptive homes who may feel overwhelmed by direct eye contact or intense face-to-face interaction, sitting side-by-side with a book creates a gentle, low-pressure space. The story becomes a shared third object, allowing kids to process complex emotions, build empathy, and explore heavy themes like grief, identity, and belonging from a safe distance.
Throughout the conversation, Sarah offers practical, easy-to-implement advice for busy caregivers who feel intimidated by adding another task to their day. She encourages parents to drop rigid expectations, explaining that reading aloud doesn't require sitting still or reading for hours—even five to ten minutes with picture books, graphic novels, or audiobooks during mealtimes can make a profound impact. This episode is packed with practical wisdom and encouragement, equipping foster and adoptive families to use the simple tool of stories to nurture lasting emotional attachment and bring light, comfort, and joy into their homes.
About the Guest
Sarah Mackenzie is the founder of Read-Aloud Revival, a popular podcast and online community dedicated to helping families build meaningful connections through books. She is an author, speaker, and homeschooling mother of six who writes picture books and resources aimed at inspiring a love of reading. Sarah is passionate about equipping parents with simple, practical tools to cultivate deep relationships, nurture emotional safety, and foster a lifelong love of stories within their homes.
In This Episode
How reading aloud triggers the release of oxytocin, helping children feel secure and attached.
The benefits of side-by-side connection through books for kids who find direct eye contact intimidating.
Using picture books and stories as a safe medium for children to process complex emotions and trauma.
Practical tips for making read-aloud time manageable and low-stress for busy foster and adoptive families.
Resources + Links
Learn more about The Forgotten Initiative - https://theforgotteninitiative.org/
Follow TFI on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/theforgotteninitiative/
Read-Aloud Revival - https://readaloudrevival.com/
Bonding Through Books - https://readaloudrevival.com/bonding-through-books/