Unblock Your BS

This week's coaching episode is a behind-the-scenes look at an actual coaching call. 
Our guest came in wanting help moving on from a 12-year relationship, still holding onto the belief that if he could just do things differently, it could still work. What we uncover instead is a pattern of people-pleasing and self-abandonment that goes back much further than this relationship, and what it actually takes to start choosing himself.
In this coaching episode, we unpack:
Why people-pleasing can make someone else's happiness feel like your responsibility
The connection between self-worth, criticism, rejection, and relationship anxiety
Why having needs doesn't automatically make you "clingy" or "needy"
The difference between guilt, shame, and actual accountability
How childhood experiences can quietly shape what feels familiar in adult relationships
Why he kept abandoning himself to keep the relationship stable
What fight + fawn responses can look like during conflict
A simple breathing technique for regulating before walking back into a stressful environment
How to start figuring out who you are after years of defining yourself through a relationship
If you're listening and realizing you've spent years trying to become the person someone else needed you to be, maybe the next chapter isn't about getting them back.
Maybe it's about getting you back.
JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE
__________________________________________________________________________________
Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa
Connect with Tara:
Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram
@unblockyourbs on TikTok 
 Watch the episodes on YouTube
Book a 1:1 call with Tara
Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit
Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE
__________________________________________________________________________________
 
Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.
If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.
The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Your wife wants a divorce.
She's cold. She won't talk. Maybe she refuses counseling. Maybe she's blaming you for everything that went wrong.
And your brain has decided there's one thing you need to do:
Figure her out.
Why is she doing this? What happened to the woman you married? What could you say that would finally make her understand?
In this episode, Tara is joined by divorce coach Rachael Sloan to talk about why men can become hyperfocused on their wife or ex during an unwanted divorce... and why understanding her usually isn't what gets you unstuck.
Because when your nervous system believes your relationship, family, identity, or future is under threat, your brain does what it was designed to do: It finds the threat and locks onto it. And sometimes, that threat becomes her.
They get into:
Why knowing intellectually that you can't control her often changes absolutely nothing

How survival mode creates tunnel vision during divorce

Codependence vs. hyper-independence vs. actual interdependence

Why becoming cold and detached isn't necessarily the same thing as becoming regulated

The "white knight" identity and why some men repeatedly choose women they can rescue

What happens when the woman you built your identity around saving no longer needs you

Why some men don't realize how unhappy they were until the marriage ends

The difference between emotional regulation and emotional repression

Why grief may be one of the most important emotional skills a man can develop

How learning to understand your own emotions can completely change how you show up with your kids

One thing worth remembering from this episode:
Sometimes there is no decision where you don't lose something.
Stay, and something may have to be grieved. Leave, and something else may have to be grieved.
The goal isn't to somehow engineer a life where you never experience loss, but to develop enough self-trust to know: 
Whatever happens next, I can handle it.
Where to find Rachael Sloan:
Rachael's Free Masterclass 
Website
Instagram
YouTube
JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE
__________________________________________________________________________________
Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa
 
Connect with Tara:
Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram
@unblockyourbs on TikTok 
 Watch the episodes on YouTube
Book a 1:1 call with Tara
Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit
Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE
__________________________________________________________________________________
 
Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.
If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.
The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

You can have buddies you golf with, hunt with, work with, grab beers with and still have absolutely nobody in your life who knows what's actually going on with you.
Chuck, Barrett, and Bob discovered the difference.
All three joined Healthy Men-tality in August 2025. A year later, they're still here... because they found something they didn't want to give up: a community of men willing to be open, call each other out, and actually hold one another accountable.
This week they join me to talk about why they stayed, what a year of mentoring new guys has taught them, and what it actually looks like when men do this work together instead of by themselves.
We talk about:
Why having male friends isn't necessarily the same as having male support

The moment these guys started recognizing their own patterns in newer members

Why people pleasing and codependency are so damn easy to see in somebody else

What happens when a skeptical man finally tries breathwork

Why some men come into coaching looking for validation instead of change

The stories we create to justify behavior we already know isn't aligned with who we want to be

Why integrity became such a huge part of their definition of emotional safety

The difference between accountability and simply taking the blame

Why an apology without changed behavior eventually means very little

What men gain when somebody can say, "Brother, I've been there. And you're full of shit right now."

One thing you'll hear from all three men?
You are not the only man going through this.
JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE
__________________________________________________________________________________
Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa
Connect with Tara:
Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram
@unblockyourbs on TikTok 
 Watch the episodes on YouTube
Book a 1:1 call with Tara
Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit
Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE
__________________________________________________________________________________
 
Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.
If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.
The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

What happens when you have the marriage, the family, the life you worked for... and somehow you still feel nothing?
That's where "Earl" found himself.
After more than 40 years with his wife, their marriage had been hanging by a thread. Earl knew something needed to change, but traditional therapy hadn't gotten him very far. Then he started looking at something he'd never really understood before: his own nervous system.
In this episode, "Earl" joins Tara to talk about his experience inside Healthy Men-tality program and the dots he began connecting between a traumatic childhood experience, emotional suppression, dismissive-avoidant patterns, and the way he reacted to his wife decades later.
And no, this isn't a story about becoming perfectly regulated.
Earl will be the first one to tell you he still screws it up.
But now he catches it. He understands it. He repairs it. And his family notices the difference.
They talk about:
The childhood trauma Earl never realized was still influencing his relationships

Why suggestions or criticism from his wife could immediately put him on the defensive

How keeping his parents at arm's length became keeping his wife at arm's length

Why Earl initially wasn't sold on breathwork, and the session that changed his mind

What happened when his wife finally started noticing the changes

Why his wife decided to begin her own healing work

The difference between knowing your patterns and actually changing them

Why healing doesn't mean you stop getting dysregulated

The surprising conversation Earl and Tara had about his capacity for joy

What it means when you can tolerate pain... but struggle to stay present when life actually feels good

Why Earl stayed in the Healthy Men-tality alumni community after his original 12 weeks ended

How nervous system regulation started changing his relationship with his son, work and everyday conflict too

One of Earl's biggest realizations?
This work was worth doing regardless of what happened to his marriage. Because whether your relationship survives or not, you still have to live with the man you become next.
JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE
__________________________________________________________________________________
Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa
 
Connect with Tara:
Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram
@unblockyourbs on TikTok 
 Watch the episodes on YouTube
Book a 1:1 call with Tara
Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit
Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE
__________________________________________________________________________________
 
Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.
If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.
The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Most people think nervous system regulation is just another wellness buzzword.
Take a deep breath. Meditate. Calm down.
But what does it actually mean to regulate your nervous system when your body feels like everything is an emergency?
In this week's episode, Tara sits down with Aleksandra Chojnicka, founder and CEO of Detox House, a nervous system resilience coach who helps high achievers build more capacity through breathwork, cold exposure, and practical somatic tools.
Inside the episode:
Why your nervous system mistakes uncertainty for danger

What actually happens inside your body during a cold plunge

How breathwork and cold exposure train emotional resilience

Why "white-knuckling" discomfort reinforces survival mode

The connection between childhood conditioning and relationship triggers

How to stop outsourcing your sense of safety to your partner

Practical ways to regulate your body before difficult conversations

If you've ever caught yourself thinking... "I know better... so why do I keep reacting like this?" this episode will finally help you understand why.
Where to find Aleksa Chojnacka
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thedetoxhouse
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@thedetoxhouse
Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/find-your-freedom-by-detox-house/id1502023435
Website: https://www.detox-house.com/ 
__________________________________________________________________________________
JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE
__________________________________________________________________________________
Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa
 
Connect with Tara:
Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram
@unblockyourbs on TikTok 
 Watch the episodes on YouTube
Book a 1:1 call with Tara
Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit
Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE
__________________________________________________________________________________
 
Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.
If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.
The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.