Unblock Your BS

You did the work. You went to therapy, you changed how you show up, you really tried to become a better man. And it still wasn't enough to make her stay. 
So now you're stuck asking yourself, why wasn't I enough? 
If that question has been living in your head, this one's for you.
"Todd" came into Healthy Men-tality trying to save his marriage. Instead, his wife left and quickly moved another man into her home around their three young kids, and Todd was left wading through some of the ugliest parts of his own self-worth. This is the story of how he came out the other side, not by winning her back, but by finding his worth from the inside.
In this episode:
Why people-pleasing quietly destroys your identity

The difference between performing for approval and creating lasting change

How nervous system regulation completely changed Todd's parenting

What healthy boundaries actually look like during separation

Why your self-worth cannot depend on your partner choosing you

Navigating co-parenting when emotions are still running high

The surprising shift that made Todd more confident in parenting, friendships, work, and life

One of the biggest takeaways?
You don't have to wait for someone else to validate your growth before becoming proud of who you're becoming. When you stop outsourcing your worth, everything changes.
JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE
__________________________________________________________________________________
Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa
 
Connect with Tara:
Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram
@unblockyourbs on TikTok 
 Watch the episodes on YouTube
Book a 1:1 call with Tara
Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit
Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE
__________________________________________________________________________________
 
Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.
If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.
The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

The relationship advice you've heard your whole life might actually be keeping you stuck.
"Happy wife, happy life."
"Never go to bed angry."
"Learn to compromise."
Most of us were handed these ideas long before we ever understood relationships. They sound loving. They sound wise. But what if they're quietly creating resentment, self-abandonment, scorekeeping, and emotional distance instead?
In this episode, Tara sits down with relationship and intimacy coach Monica Tanner to unpack some of the biggest myths couples still believe and what actually creates lasting connection.
They explore why emotional safety isn't built through people-pleasing, why accountability is much more than saying "I'm sorry," and how collaboration creates healthier relationships than compromise ever could.
Whether you're rebuilding your marriage, navigating conflict, or simply trying to become a healthier partner, this conversation offers a completely different lens on what strong relationships actually require.
In this episode:
Why compromise often creates resentment instead of connection

The problem with "Happy Wife, Happy Life"

What accountability actually looks like in a healthy relationship

How consistency builds emotional safety

Why happiness isn't your partner's responsibility

The difference between collaboration and compromise

Why "Never Go to Bed Angry" isn't always good advice

Practical ways to communicate needs without blame or self-abandonment

About Monica Tanner
Monica Tanner is a relationship and intimacy coach certified in Relational Life Therapy and Sex Therapy. She's passionate about helping couples create stronger emotional and physical intimacy by challenging outdated relationship advice and replacing it with practical, collaborative skills that actually work in modern relationships.
She is the author of Bad Marriage Advice and host of the Secrets of Happily Ever After podcast.
Connect with Monica
Website:https://monicatanner.com
Book:https://badmarriageadvice.com
Instagram:https://instagram.com/monitalksmarriage
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@secretsofhappilyeverafter
JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE
__________________________________________________________________________________
Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa
 
Connect with Tara:
Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram
@unblockyourbs on TikTok 
 Watch the episodes on YouTube
Book a 1:1 call with Tara
Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit
Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE
__________________________________________________________________________________
 
Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.
If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.
The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

How long are you going to keep punishing yourself for it? You hurt someone, or someone hurt you, and you're still carrying it, still replaying it, still waiting to feel like you've finally paid enough. If that's you, this one's worth your time.
In this week's episode, Tara goes deep on forgiveness, the kind people get completely wrong. 
Not letting someone off the hook, not pretending it didn't hurt, but choosing to stop carrying the weight so the suffering finally gets an end date. Whether you're the one who caused the hurt or the one who got hurt, it starts in the same place: forgiving yourself first.
In this episode:
Why forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing

The hidden cost of staying stuck in resentment

Why shame isn't accountability

How to forgive yourself after hurting someone

How to forgive someone without giving them unlimited access

The difference between trust and blind trust

Small ways to rebuild integrity after betrayal

Why nervous system regulation matters more than apologies

How to stop letting painful memories dictate your future relationships

You don't earn your way out of shame by sitting in it. You choose your way out.
JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE
__________________________________________________________________________________
Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa
 
Connect with Tara:
Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram
@unblockyourbs on TikTok 
 Watch the episodes on YouTube
Book a 1:1 call with Tara
Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit
Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE
__________________________________________________________________________________
 
Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.
If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.
The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode includes conversations about suicide, suicidal ideation, depression, pornography addiction, childhood trauma, emotional abuse, and divorce. Please listen at your own pace. If these topics feel overwhelming right now, it's okay to come back to this episode when you're ready.
You can spend years just getting through life, providing, showing up, going through the motions, while inside you don't feel much of anything at all. No real highs, no real lows, just a numbness you've stopped questioning. If that hits a little too close, this one's for you.
One of our Healthy Men-tality alumni, "Joey," shares his whole story here, from being abandoned as a kid and never having anything explained to him, through a 20-year marriage that ended, all the way to the lowest point of his life and what came after. About six months into doing this work, he went from completely shut down to genuinely loving himself for the first time. His kids have noticed the change. He's playing music again. And the way he tells it will probably land for a lot of people listening.
In this episode:
How decades of numbness trace back to childhood wounds and the coping mechanisms built to survive them

Why healing the inner child was the thing that unlocked everything for him

How getting curious about your own feelings becomes the engine of the work

Doing the work for yourself first, and why everyone around you benefits from that

Giving yourself grace and taking full accountability at the same time

How one regulated person can shift an entire co-parenting dynamic

If you've been numb for longer than you'd like to admit, give this one a listen.
JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE
__________________________________________________________________________________
Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa
 
Connect with Tara:
Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram
@unblockyourbs on TikTok 
 Watch the episodes on YouTube
Book a 1:1 call with Tara
Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit
Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE
__________________________________________________________________________________
 
Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.
If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.
The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

You almost lost the whole thing. And now, somehow, it's good again. Better than it's ever been, even. So why can't you actually enjoy it? Why does part of you keep waiting for the floor to drop out?
In this week's coaching episode, "Steve" reached out to Tara while he was in the middle of filing for divorce after an affair. 
Months later, the divorce is off the table and he and his wife are more connected than they've ever been, but he doesn't quite trust it, and he came on to get coached through what real repair actually looks like.
In this episode:
Why the honeymoon phase after a near-breakup can be a band-aid, not proof you're healed

The question that matters more than "can I trust her": can you trust yourself to show up regardless of how she shows up

How to tell when a surface argument is really about a deeper need, and what to do instead of just reacting

Why you set the terms for conflict before the fight, not in the middle of it

Grieving the old relationship so you can build a new one instead of repeating the same cycle

If you're trying to rebuild something after it nearly fell apart, this one's for you. 
JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE
__________________________________________________________________________________
Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa
 
Connect with Tara:
Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram
@unblockyourbs on TikTok 
 Watch the episodes on YouTube
Book a 1:1 call with Tara
Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit
Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE
__________________________________________________________________________________
 
Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.
If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.
The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.