ADHDifference

Julie Legg speaks with registered therapeutic counsellor Ariel-Paul Saunders, who brings a relational, intergenerational lens to understanding ADHD. Diagnosed at 38, Ariel began questioning the traditional medical narrative after recognising that his most significant struggles with focus and regulation didn’t begin in childhood, but emerged following a major relational rupture in early adulthood.
Together, Julie and Ariel explore ADHD not just as a fixed neurological condition, but as something shaped by attachment patterns, nervous system regulation, and family lineage. From wartime trauma passed down through generations to the orchid-and-dandelion analogy of sensitivity, this conversation reframes ADHD as a developmental journey rather than a personal defect.
It’s an episode about compassion for ourselves, our parents, and our children, and about becoming the generation that transforms what gets passed forward.
Key Points from the Episode
Why Ariel’s ADHD symptoms intensified after a relational rupture in his early 20s
What felt incomplete about the traditional medical explanation of ADHD
The role of nervous system regulation in how ADHD presents
Attachment, safety, and how connection shapes focus and executive function
The “orchid vs dandelion” analogy for sensitivity and environmental fit
How trauma and emotional numbing can be passed down without intention
Reframing ADHD as lineage rather than personal failure
How understanding our parents changes how we understand ourselves
Supporting children by seeing the state beneath the behaviour
Growing through ADHD traits, not necessarily “out of” them
Becoming the generation that shifts relational patterns forward
Links
FREE CONSULTATION: https://securelythriving.com/book-a-call
FREE RESOURCE: https://securelythriving.com/free-resource
ARTICLE: Why-my-adhd-didnt-appear-until-age-21
ARTICLE: The Neuroscience of How Attachment Shapes ADHD: From Dopamine to Executive Function
ARTICLE: Three Generations of ADHD
INSTAGRAM: @securelythrivingfamily
FACEBOOK: @securelythriving
LINKEDIN: Ariel-Paul Saunders
YOUTUBE: @securelythriving

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🌐 WEBSITE: ADHDifference.nz
📷 INSTAGRAM: ADHDifference_podcast
📖 BOOK: The Missing Piece: A Woman's Guide to Understanding, Diagnosing and Living with ADHD
ℹ️ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only. The views expressed are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or ADHDifference. Read More

Julie Legg is joined by Nika Brunet Milunovic, social worker, researcher, and founder of Calm Nest Collective. Nika shares how years working in the events and creative industries exposed a disconnect between how environments are designed and how human nervous systems actually function.
Drawing on her lived experience as a late-diagnosed neurodivergent woman, as well as her academic research, Nika explains why sensory overload, burnout, and emotional collapse are not personal failures, but predictable outcomes of overstimulating spaces. From conferences and festivals to offices, schools, and public venues, she makes a compelling case for sensory-friendly design as a form of prevention, not luxury.
This conversation explores how thoughtful environmental changes can radically improve regulation, focus, and wellbeing for ADHDers and non-ADHDers alike, and why creating calm, inclusive spaces is one of the most practical ways we can support mental health at scale.
Key Points from the Episode
Why the events and creative industries are both a haven and a hazard for neurodivergent people
How burnout and mental health crises often stem from environmental overload, not individual weakness
What sensory-friendly spaces actually are, and how they support nervous system regulation
Why quiet rooms, calm corners, and sensory spaces benefit everyone, not just ADHDers
The science behind sensory deprivation, regulation, and the body’s stress response
How workplaces and schools unintentionally exclude neurodivergent needs
Small, low-cost environmental changes that make a big difference
The role of social media in helping neurodivergent people find language, community, and self-understanding
Why asking people what they need is the most powerful design tool we have
A reminder that strategies are personal, and regulation is not one-size-fits-all
Links
WEBSITE: https://calmnestcollective.com/
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thatinclusiongirl
LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikabrunet/

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Thanks for listening.
📌 Don’t forget to subscribe for more tools for beautifully different brains.
🌐 WEBSITE: ADHDifference.nz
📷 INSTAGRAM: ADHDifference_podcast
📖 BOOK: The Missing Piece: A Woman's Guide to Understanding, Diagnosing and Living with ADHD
ℹ️ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only. The views expressed are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or ADHDifference. Read More

Julie Legg sits down with psychiatric nurse practitioner and mental health advocate Carolyn Mallon, whose journey from high school dropout to doctorate-level clinician is both inspiring and deeply relatable for late-diagnosed ADHDers. Carolyn shares how understanding her neurodivergence in adulthood radically shifted her ability to study, self-advocate, and succeed both academically and emotionally.
The conversation explores the messy, non-linear paths many ADHDers walk, the grief that can accompany diagnosis, and how resilience often looks like simply showing up, trying again, and choosing compassion over shame. This episode is a great reminder that healing and success take many forms, and that it's never too late to start again... with better tools.
Key Points in this Episode:
Carolyn’s diagnosis at 28 and how it changed her entire trajectory
Why ADHD can mask as laziness or failure in school settings
The emotional impact of late recognition and academic shame
Making peace with your “past self” through compassion, not criticism
How resilience is built in the middle of the mess, not just in hindsight
The importance of redefining success beyond degrees and careers
Why mental health providers with lived experience are uniquely powerful
The joy of offering others the kind of care she once needed
Links:
LINKEDIN: www.linkedin.com/in/cmallonrn/
WEBSITE: https://www.balancementalhealth.com/
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/balancementalhealthnh
YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@balancementalhealthnh
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/balancementalhealthnh
RECOMMENDED READING: Learning Outside the Lines
Send us a text
Thanks for listening.
📌 Don’t forget to subscribe for more tools for beautifully different brains.
🌐 WEBSITE: ADHDifference.nz
📷 INSTAGRAM: ADHDifference_podcast
📖 BOOK: The Missing Piece: A Woman's Guide to Understanding, Diagnosing and Living with ADHD
ℹ️ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only. The views expressed are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or ADHDifference. Read More

Julie Legg chats with ADHD coach and advocate Leah Carroll, whose own diagnosis at 28 catalyzed a deep journey of self-understanding and transformation. Leah shares how her early attempts to "fix" her ADHD through medication alone fell short and how travel, radical honesty, and coaching led her to discover the personalized systems that now support her neurodivergent brain.
Leah unpacks the behind-the-scenes reality of living with ADHD from executive dysfunction to emotional dysregulation and offers powerful strategies to shift from shame to self-trust. Whether it's in the workplace, relationships, or day-to-day life, this conversation is full of relatable truths and practical tools for anyone navigating ADHD.
Key Points from the Episode:
How Leah’s ADHD diagnosis at 28 was just the beginning, not the solution
Why medication alone wasn’t enough and what she needed instead
The emotional toll of shame, blame, and victimhood in undiagnosed ADHD
What long-term travel taught her about adaptability and executive dysfunction
The hidden labour behind ‘looking functional’ as an ADHDer
How executive function challenges overlap to create chaos and paralysis
The complex toll ADHD takes on relationships and how to build better communication
The workplace mismatch: thriving in crisis but overwhelmed by admin
Strategies for minimizing friction and maximizing clarity at work
Why emotional regulation is about safety, not just willpower
Building self-trust through small, consistent wins
The underestimated power of foundational habits: sleep, food, movement, light, and hydration
The magic of a “dopamine menu” and tiny strategies that re-regulate the nervous system
Links:
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/adhd.coach.leah/
WEBSITE: https://leahccoaching.com/
LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leahdcarroll/
BOOK A FREE COACHING CALL: https://calendly.com/adhdlc/free
REFERENCE BOOK: https://www.thefouragreements.com/
Send us a text
Thanks for listening.
📌 Don’t forget to subscribe for more tools for beautifully different brains.
🌐 WEBSITE: ADHDifference.nz
📷 INSTAGRAM: ADHDifference_podcast
📖 BOOK: The Missing Piece: A Woman's Guide to Understanding, Diagnosing and Living with ADHD
ℹ️ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only. The views expressed are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or ADHDifference. Read More

Julie Legg speaks with Kayla Oughton — a Napier-based AuDHD coach and neurodivergent advocate with an eclectic background in construction project management, health coaching, suicide prevention, and digital marketing.
Kayla shares her journey from burnout in a male-dominated construction industry to becoming a voice for ADHDers and autistic women navigating late diagnosis, shame, and self-trust. She talks about the importance of understanding rejection sensitivity, embracing neurodivergent strengths, and leaning into the body’s signals.
This conversation cuts through the fluff and dives deep into what it really looks like to rebuild your life after diagnosis, and long before it. From beast days to slug days, Kayla reminds us all that we are not broken.
Key Points in the Episode:
How a therapist’s question sparked Kayla’s ADHD diagnosis at 35
Life inside the chaotic, undiagnosed world of construction project management
The link between rejection sensitivity and suicidal ideation
Why shame often hides behind the productivity mask in women
How understanding ADHD can reframe your entire life story
The overlap (and contradiction) between ADHD and autism traits
Why rest, nervous system awareness, and body cues are vital tools
The reality of success amnesia and the power of small wins
Kayla's words to those still feeling broken or “too much”
Links:
LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kayla-oughton/
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/adhdcoachkayla
WEBSITE: https://dopamineandco.com/services 
MATES4LIFE: https://mates4life.org.nz/ 
Send us a text
Thanks for listening.
📌 Don’t forget to subscribe for more tools for beautifully different brains.
🌐 WEBSITE: ADHDifference.nz
📷 INSTAGRAM: ADHDifference_podcast
📖 BOOK: The Missing Piece: A Woman's Guide to Understanding, Diagnosing and Living with ADHD
ℹ️ DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for informational purposes only. The views expressed are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect those of the host or ADHDifference. Read More