The Autism Mom Coach

When you're raising an autistic child, planning for the future comes with a lot of unanswered questions. Will your child graduate? Go to college? Get a job? Live independently? What kind of support will they need as an adult, and who will provide it?
These are difficult questions to answer when you're trying to predict what your child's life might look like five, ten, or even twenty years from now.
In part two of her four-part Future Planning Series, Lisa Candera, The Autism Mom Coach, shares a practical approach to planning for an autistic child's future without trying to figure out the next twenty years.
Using a three-year planning framework, Lisa explains how parents can assess their child's current functioning, identify the skills and supports that matter most, and prepare for upcoming decisions. She also walks through the major planning considerations at different ages, from preschool and elementary school through adolescence and adulthood.
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to use a three-year planning framework to make future planning more manageable.
How to assess your child's current functioning, identify priorities, and set realistic expectations.
What to consider at different ages, including educational placement, life skills, graduation pathways, and transition planning.
Why academic achievement is only one part of the picture when evaluating your child's progress and future needs.
What parents of teenagers need to know about adult services, benefits, legal decision-making, and residential options.
How to reassess and adjust your plans when your child's needs change unexpectedly.

The episode offers a practical way for autism parents to focus on the decisions they can make today while continuing to plan and adjust for the future.

When you're raising an autistic child, some of the most difficult decisions involve their future. Choosing a school, changing medications, evaluating treatment options, or considering a residential placement can feel enormously consequential. And when you can't predict how things will turn out, the pressure to make the "right" decision can leave you stuck in endless research, second-guessing, or avoiding the decision altogether.
In this episode, Lisa Candera, The Autism Mom Coach, kicks off her four-part Future Planning Series with a practical framework for making decisions about your autistic child's future. Drawing on her experience parenting her 19-year-old son and coaching autism moms, Lisa shares how she approaches high-stakes decisions, why even well-informed choices don't guarantee the outcomes we want, and how to move forward when you're working with imperfect information.
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to separate the decision you actually need to make from all the future outcomes you're trying to control.
Why identifying your non-negotiables can help you narrow your options and make more informed decisions.
How to determine what information you really need instead of getting stuck in endless research or other people's opinions.
Why making a decision also means knowing when to reassess, adjust your approach, or move in a different direction.

Whether you're choosing your child's first school, considering a new treatment, navigating a placement change, or planning for adulthood, this episode will help you approach difficult decisions with greater clarity. You won't always know how a decision will turn out, but you can learn to make thoughtful choices with the information you have, evaluate what happens next, and move forward without constantly questioning yourself.

Autism Parenting in Crisis: What Needs Your Attention and What Can Wait
When your autistic child is in crisis, the rest of your life doesn't stop. You still have work deadlines, family responsibilities, appointments, and commitments. But when you're spending hours on the phone with doctors, providers, and school teams trying to manage an urgent situation, something has to give.
In this episode, Lisa Candera, The Autism Mom Coach, shares why she missed a week of podcasting while managing a crisis involving her autistic son. She explains how years of autism parenting have changed her approach to balancing responsibilities, managing expectations, and deciding what actually needs to get done when circumstances change.
In this episode, you'll learn:
Why trying to fit an autism parenting crisis into an already full schedule creates unnecessary pressure.
How to distinguish between what must happen, what needs your attention, and what can wait.
Why being capable of doing something doesn't necessarily mean it's the right use of your time and energy.
How to reconsider commitments, ask for help, and adjust expectations when your autistic child's needs suddenly take priority.

Whether you're dealing with an emergency school call, escalating behaviors, a hospitalization, or a placement crisis, this episode is a reminder that you have more choices about how you manage the rest of your responsibilities than you might realize. Sometimes the most practical decision is to take something off your plate.
Time Stamps
00:07 - Autism Parenting in Crisis
01:53 - When Parenting an Autistic Child Disrupts Your Plans
03:52 - The 'Should' Question: Deciding What to Do
05:01 - Renegotiating Obligations as Autism Parents
06:30 - Closing Remarks and Next Episode Preview

Your autistic child comes home from school yelling, disappears into their bedroom, or follows you around asking the same question repeatedly. Each situation requires a different response, but your automatic reactions may be making those difficult after-school hours even harder.
In this episode, Lisa Candera, The Autism Mom Coach, explains how to respond to three common after-school patterns: the Collider, the Cocooner, and the Clinger. Drawing on her personal parenting experience and coaching work, Lisa introduces opposite action, a skill she learned during her son's OCD therapy, to help autism moms interrupt their automatic reactions and decide what needs immediate attention and what can wait.
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to respond when your autistic child comes home angry, argumentative, withdrawn, or demanding constant attention.
Why providing more attention, asking more questions, or offering repeated reassurance can sometimes make after-school dysregulation worse.
How to recognize your own reactions and use opposite action to determine when to engage, when to establish boundaries, and what can wait.

Learn how to stop turning one difficult afternoon into a series of unnecessary battles by identifying what actually needs your attention and responding deliberately rather than reacting automatically.
Ready to create your own Meltdown Action Plan?
Join Lisa for MAP Live on October 8 at 7 PM Eastern, a live 90-minute workshop where you'll create a personalized plan for managing your triggers and responding to your child's meltdowns before, during, and after they happen.
Register for MAP Live Here.

After-school meltdowns don't always look like meltdowns. Some autistic children come home yelling, arguing, or provoking their siblings. Others head straight to their bedrooms and refuse to talk. And some follow Mom from room to room, asking repeated questions or needing constant reassurance.
In this episode, Lisa Candera, The Autism Mom Coach, introduces three after-school patterns: the Collider, the Cocooner, and the Clinger. She explains how these patterns can change as autistic children grow into teenagers and young adults, and why understanding your child's pattern can help you recognize your own reactions before the afternoon goes off the rails.
In this episode, you'll learn:
How to recognize the three after-school patterns and what they may tell you about your child's dysregulation.
Why after-school dysregulation can look like defiance, withdrawal, or excessive reassurance-seeking, particularly as autistic children enter adolescence.
How to identify your own predictable responses to your child's behavior, whether that means correcting, pursuing, or repeatedly reassuring them.

Before you decide how to handle the yelling, the slammed bedroom door, or the tenth question about Saturday, pay attention to what happens when your child gets home and what you do next. In the next episode, we'll tackle the practical question: What needs to happen now, and what can wait.

Build Your Meltdown Action Plan (MAP) Live Workshop
Want a plan for your child's meltdowns? Join Lisa for MAP Live on October 8 @ 7PM EST.
In this 90-minute workshop, we'll identify YOUR triggers, understand your reactions, and build a personalized plan for what to do before, during, and after your child's meltdowns.
You will walk away knowing what to do, and what not to do during a meltdown and a clear strategy for staying in control while your child is spinning out.
Early bird: $10 until September 25 | regular pricing: $20.
Register for MAP Live Here.