Episode 176: The Fear of What’s NextIn this week’s episode, I’m sharing a personal update as my son turns 18 and we navigate the realities of conservatorship, independence, and what the future holds. It’s bittersweet, and it has me reflecting on the very real fears autism parents carry about what comes next for our children.To support you in this, I’m replaying an earlier episode on anticipatory anxiety—the fear of what might happen in the future, and how it drains us without preparing us. You’ll hear a client story, practical tools for calming your nervous system, and why staying grounded matters more than trying to control the uncontrollable.What you’ll learn in this episode:Why anticipatory anxiety is so common for autism parentsHow fear of the future shows up in your body and your energyA real-life example of a mom preparing for her child’s blood workPractical tools for calming your nervous system before stressful eventsWhy accepting “hard” as part of the journey can actually bring reliefIf you’ve ever caught yourself bracing, white-knuckling, or walking on eggshells about what’s ahead—this episode is for you.
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Ep. 175: Back to School Pep Talk
After a summer break, I’m back with a fresh perspective — and a pep talk to help you head into the new school year with more calm and confidence.Whether your summer was packed with activities or you let the schedule breathe a little, there’s value in what you did — and what you didn’t do. Resting is work, and sometimes it’s the most productive thing we can do for ourselves and our kids.In this episode, I share:How to reframe school disruptions, refusals, and hiccups as information instead of failuresThe mindset shift that has helped me (and my clients) ride the roller coaster of a school year without bracing for the worstThe SINGLE reminder I want you to keep front of mind when things feel overwhelming.I’ll also tell you how to get my Back-to-School Guide — 7 tips I’ve used myself and shared with clients to set them up for a smoother transition.
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Ep. 174: When You Are Rigid - MVP
All-or-nothing thinking, or being rigid, is generally defined by pairs of opposites. So, maybe you’re thinking of someone or something as simply good or bad, working or not working. But it can also show up as thinking there are only two choices available in a situation. And this comes up in so many areas of our lives.While cognitive rigidity is a characteristic of Autism, it is also alive and well in all of us to some degree. In fact, as parents, the more stressful our lives become, the more we tend to rely on the safety of all-or-nothing thinking, becoming more rigid as a result of this thought process. So, what can we do about it?Tune in this week to discover where rigid all-or-nothing thinking is impacting your parenting, and what you can do to manage it. I’m sharing why our brains love this way of processing the world around us, and I’m showing you how to see the thoughts that are leading you down the path of this either-or mindset.What You’ll Learn from this Episode:Why all-or-nothing thinking is a default for all human beings.How this cognitive rigidity might be showing up in your life right now.The thought patterns that lead to all-or-nothing thinking.What you can do to manage your mind when you find yourself stuck in all-or-nothing thinking.
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MVP: Tantrums v Meltdowns
To the untrained or inexperienced eye, tantrums and meltdowns usually look very much the same. If something looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, you are going to conclude it’s a duck. But when it comes to tantrums and meltdowns, this isn’t the case.Although tantrums and meltdowns may look similar, they are actually very different. However, the fact that they appear similar can create a lot of misunderstanding and suffering for us as moms of children with Autism. So how can you tell whether your child is having a tantrum or a meltdown, and how do you deal with them appropriately while being conscious of other people’s opinions? That’s what I’m teaching you in this week’s episode. In this episode, I share the similarities and differences between tantrums and meltdowns, help you normalize the experience of an Autism meltdown, and assist you in dealing with individuals who may not understand. Discover how to think about and respond to the different behaviors your child exhibits, some of the thoughts that may come up when your child is having a tantrum or a meltdown, and how to use what I’m teaching you this week to be an ambassador for parents of a child with Autism. Summer is the perfect time to start coaching with me! We can transform how you show up to your experience of parenting a child with Autism, and equip you with the tools you need to best support yourself no matter what is happening. If you’re interested in changing the trajectory of your summer right now, click here to schedule a consult.What You’ll Learn from this Episode:Some of the typical behaviors that appear in both tantrums and meltdowns.Why a meltdown is not a teachable moment.How to deal with Autism meltdowns in a way that helps both you and your child. Why so many people associate screaming, yelling, and uncooperative behavior with a bad kid, or a bad parent. How to tune out other people’s opinions of your child’s meltdown.
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How to Avoid Summer Regression
You’ve heard the phrase “make the most of summer.” But for autism moms, this often translates into do more work with less support and zero downtime.In this episode, I’m sharing my own journey of how I used to treat summer like a catch-up bootcamp for my son—drills, flashcards, workbooks, and more. I explain how this approach, fueled by fear of regression and pressure to “keep up,” ended in stress, dysregulation, and disappointment for both of us.You’ll hear:The hidden anxiety behind “making the most” of summerHow fear of regression can sabotage your best intentionsWhat to do instead: setting small, achievable goalsTips for engaging your child without turning your home into a summer schoolWhy your energy matters more than any worksheetIf you’re bracing yourself for the summer months, this episode will help you rethink your expectations and shift into a mindset that supports both your child’s growth and your well-being.Resources:Schedule a consultation: https://theautismmomcoach.com
Do you sometimes feel like your life has been hijacked by Autism?
If so, this is the podcast for you. The Autism Mom Coach is a podcast for moms who feel overwhelmed, afraid, and sometimes powerless as they raise their child with Autism. Join your host, Lisa Candera, Certified Life Coach, lawyer, and (more importantly) full-time single mom to a teenage boy with Autism as she shares cognitive-based tools and trauma-informed strategies you can use to feel better now and transform your relationship with Autism and special needs parenting. The truth is, Autism is not in charge of your life, YOU are, and you have more power than you think. Visit theautismmomcoach.com for more information
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