Every November, we hear the same message: be grateful, make a list, count your blessings. But for many autism parents, gratitude lists fall flat. You already know what matters—your child, progress, small moments of peace. The problem isn’t awareness; it’s that your nervous system is still stuck in survival modIn this episode, Lisa Candera, autism mom coach and host of The Autism Mom Coach Podcast, shares why savoring—not just gratitude—is the missing piece in emotional regulation for autism parents. You’ll learn how savoring helps your brain record safety and connection as real, not rare, and why that matters for both you and your child’s nervous system health.Lisa explains how constant vigilance wires the body for stress, how negativity bias keeps you scanning for threat, and how brief, intentional pauses can retrain your brain to recognize safety. This isn’t mindset work—it’s nervous system retraining through small, consistent moments that actually stick.By the end, you’ll know how to use savoring as a real-world regulation skill that shifts your body from tension to steadiness—one breath at a time.In This Episode, You’ll Learn:What savoring means and why it matters for autism parentsHow negativity bias keeps your nervous system stuck in threat modeThe science of how savoring rewires the brain for safety and balanceWhy gratitude alone doesn’t create regulation without embodimentSimple ways to practice savoring in daily life without extra effortLisa’s Takeaway:Savoring is how you remind your body that good moments count too. Each pause, each exhale, each second you let safety land—it all adds up to regulation and resilience.Links Mentioned:Download The Autism Mom’s Meltdown PlanSchedule a consult with Lisa Candera
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185: Co-Regulation
Before your autistic child can self-regulate, they co-regulate — through you.Your nervous system becomes their roadmap. Your breath, tone, and posture tell their body whether it’s safe or in danger. This is why your steadiness matters more than any script or strategy.In this episode, autism mom coach Lisa Candera breaks down the science and skill of co-regulation for autism parents — how two nervous systems sync, how stress transfers between you and your child, and how to use your own body as the anchor that helps them recover.You’ll learn what’s actually happening in those intense moments — the fight, flight, or freeze responses you both experience — and how to interrupt the cycle by leading with your body’s cues instead of your child’s behavior. Lisa explains why co-regulation is often the missing piece in emotional regulation for autistic children and what it takes to build this skill over time, even when your own nervous system feels maxed out.This episode goes beyond theory. You’ll get specific, repeatable tools for steadying yourself during meltdowns, transitions, or any moment of dysregulation, and see how these small shifts can reduce reactivity, shorten recovery time, and strengthen trust between you and your child.In This Episode, You’ll Learn:What co-regulation means and how it develops before self-regulationWhy your nervous system sets the tone for your child’s emotions and behaviorThe patterns that keep autism parents stuck in survival modeHow your own body history shapes your reactions under stressFive practical ways to use your body cues as steadying signals during meltdownsLinks Mentioned:Schedule a consult with Lisa CanderaDownload The Autism Mom’s Meltdown Plan
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Ep 184: Why Regulation Starts with You
You’ve heard me say it before: regulation starts with you.But what does that really mean when your child is melting down in front of you, your body tightens, your pulse spikes, and your mind goes straight to “make it stop”?This is not a mindset issue. It’s biology. Your nervous system is wired to mirror your child’s. When they escalate, your body reacts. You feel it. And that’s why prevention and control, as much as we rely on them, only take us so far.You can plan every detail, anticipate every trigger, and still find yourself in the middle of a storm, running on adrenaline. Because in that moment, what matters most isn’t what you do, it’s how you are.In Episode 184 of The Autism Mom Coach Podcast, I talk about what it really means that regulation starts with you. I share what happens when you meet your child’s distress with your own, how your energy shapes the room before you say a word, and how to steady yourself when everything feels like it’s coming apart.You’ll learn:• The difference between reacting and regulating• How your body’s signals matter more than your words• Simple ways to bring yourself back to baselineRegulation is awareness. It’s catching yourself sooner, breathing before you speak, and becoming the steady presence your child can lean on.🎧 Listen to Episode 184: Why Regulation Starts With You — because your energy teaches your child how to find theirs.Being the Calmest Nervous System in the Room: It’s one of the hardest parts of parenting an autistic child. But this isn’t about being zen or unbothered. It’s about learning how your body reacts, spotting it sooner, and choosing steadiness over reactivity.That’s why working 1:1 with a seasoned autism mom and experienced coach is a game changer!If you’ve been craving support + skills to do tomorrow better, schedule a consult HERE.
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Ep 183 Mental Health and Autism: Teens and Young Adults
Lisa continues her conversation with therapist and autism mom Janeen Herskovitz about the mental-health landscape for teens and young adults with autism. They talk about anxiety, burnout, alexithymia, and how parents can balance support, boundaries, and rest—for their kids and themselves.Key TakeawaysMental-health shifts often begin earlier than we expect.Feelings live in the body; naming them is regulation.“School refusal” is often emotional overload, not defiance.Recovery isn’t avoidance—it’s necessary work.Lisa’s TakeawayWatching your child’s mental health shift can feel disorienting and scary. I know what it’s like to live on alert, waiting for the next crash, trying to keep it all together. What I’ve learned—personally and through coaching—is that recovery isn’t a pause; it’s the work. Rest and regulation are how we rebuild. The same applies to our kids.Links & ResourcesAutism Blueprint PodcastWork with LisaIf your teen or young adult is struggling with anxiety, masking, or emotional overwhelm—and you’re unsure how to help without burning out—support is available. I work 1:1 with autism moms to build calm, clarity, and confidence in the hardest moments.Schedule a private consultation at talkwiththeautismmomcoach.as.me
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182: Mental Health & Autism Moms
In this episode of The Autism Mom Coach Podcast, Lisa Candera sits down with therapist and Autism Blueprint host Janine Hershkowitz, LMHC for an honest conversation about the intersection of autism and maternal mental health.Janine—mom of two autistic young adults and a psychotherapist with over 15 years of experience—shares how constant stress, high-alert living, and unprocessed trauma shape the nervous systems of autism parents. Together, Lisa and Janine discuss what healing can look like, how to create boundaries without guilt, and why sustainable self-maintenance is essential for both parent and child.This episode is part one of a two-part series on Autism and Mental Health.In This Episode:How chronic high-alert living impacts the body and mind of autism momsWhat trauma looks like in parents of autistic children—and how EMDR can helpWhy guilt often masquerades as responsibilityHow to shift from fixing your child to leading your household with steadinessReal-life boundary work that protects both parent and relationshipKey Takeaways:Regulation first. You can’t pour from an empty nervous system.Behavior is information. Over-functioning hides data about your child’s needs.Boundaries are leadership. Clear limits protect your energy and your child’s stability.Guilt is a false alarm. Learn to tell the difference between true accountability and internalized pressureot always better. Sustainable support beats constant doing.🔗 https://autismblueprint.comAbout The Autism Mom Coach:Lisa Candera is a solo mom to a young adult with severe autism and OCD, a practicing attorney, and a certified life coach. Through her coaching programs, she teach moms how to regulate their emotions, reduce anxiety, and parent from steadiness instead of survival.🔗 Learn more: https://theautismmomcoach.com🔗 Book a free consultation: https://talkwiththeautismmomcoach.as.me/
Do you sometimes feel like your life has been hijacked by Autism?
If so, this is the podcast for you. The Autism Mom Coach is a podcast for moms who feel overwhelmed, afraid, and sometimes powerless as they raise their child with Autism. Join your host, Lisa Candera, Certified Life Coach, lawyer, and (more importantly) full-time single mom to a teenage boy with Autism as she shares cognitive-based tools and trauma-informed strategies you can use to feel better now and transform your relationship with Autism and special needs parenting. The truth is, Autism is not in charge of your life, YOU are, and you have more power than you think. Visit theautismmomcoach.com for more information
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