NARCISSISTIC ABUSE RECOVERY | Narcissist, Co-Parenting, Grey Rock Method, Boundaries, Healing, Toxic Relationship

• Quick Trauma Bond DISCONNECTION

  💬 Episode Description (Show Notes): Feeling the urge to text, check their social, or replay old memories? That’s not love, Queen—that’s the trauma bond talking. In this quick Thrive in 5, Christy shares a 3-minute reset you can use any time those cravings hit so you can calm your body, clear your mind, and take back your power. 📥 Free Gift: The Boundaries Pocket Guide Want to stop second-guessing yourself and finally set boundaries that stick without the guilt spiral? Download Christy’s free Boundaries Pocket Guide — designed to help you reclaim your peace and protect your power after narcissistic abuse. ✨ Grab it here → https://christyjade.kit.com/ce79ea9250 🛠️ Ready to Go Deeper in Your Healing? Whether you’re newly out or years into recovery, support changes everything. Here are 3 powerful ways to work with Christy: ✅ Reclaiming You: 1:1 Clarity & Intake Session 💻 Book here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ ✅ 1-Month Private Coaching Container 💻 Apply here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ ✅ 3-Month Transformational Coaching Package 💻 Learn more: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 🔗 Related Episodes You’ll Love: 🎧 Still Attached to the Narcissist? This Deep Cord Cutting Practice Can Help 👉 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-attached-to-the-narcissist-this-deep-cord/id1662241353?i=1000708306120 🎧 Thrive in 5: Still Energetically Tied to the Narcissist? Cut the Cord With This Quick Practice 👉 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-energetically-tied-to-the-narcissist-cut-the/id1662241353?i=1000706789155 ✨ Follow Christy on Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/   TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Are you feeling the urge to text, check their social or replay old memories of yours? That's not love queen. That is trauma bonding. It is that trauma bond talking to you in this quick Thrive in five. It's going to be very quick today. I share a three minute reset. You can use anytime those cravings hit so you can calm your body, clear your mind, and take back your sexy ass power. Alright? So this is going to be a short, powerful pause in your week to reset your nervous system, protect that peace bubble. It's looking good on you, by the way, and keep you moving forward in this healing journey. So if you've ever felt that pull to check their social or just one more time, read an old text. That's not love, right? It's not that aeration and good feelings. It can feel desperate, it can feel sad. (00:59) All these icky feelings because that's not really love. That's the trauma bond. And Tuesday, I talked all about it. If you have not listened to Tuesday's episode, it is all about this. So definitely listen to this and then I will go back. Or maybe you want to go back and listen to that first. Either way, make sure you find that episode. And the truth about it is your brain is hooked on those little tiny dopamine hits. Again, I talk all about the dopamine on Tuesday's episode, but it can be love bombing and relief after the chaos. It is an up and down cycle, right? So the trick is to break that loop before your brain convinces you to go back. (01:44) So we're going to do a three minute reset for when the urge hits. Okay? So first we're going to name it out. Say this, right? When you get that urge, you go, this is a trauma bond. Not love, not my soulmate. This is just a bond I'm breaking. So naming it takes away some of its power, especially if you say it out loud. I am so big on saying shit out loud Queens. Number two, ground your body feet flat on the floor. Okay? You look around, this is kind of an orientation thing. You look around, name three blue things. Pick any color that you see. You could take it a step further depending how long you want it to be with sense or textures, feeling whatever you need to do. But you can quickly do three blue things, right? It brings your body back to the present where you are safe. (02:50) You need a bubble. Number three, breathe to reset your nervous system. So you could do a halo breath in through the nose for four seconds, hold it for four, exhale for six. You're adding on an extra two seconds to really release to get everything out and all that nasty, gross opposite of dopamine. Crusty ass drama, bonding. We're going to release it in that exhale, right? You do this three times. Inhale four, hold for four, exhale six. If you want to pick five for all three to make it easier, it's fine. There's no right or wrong in this. Okay? So you could do inhale five, hold for five. Exhale for five, okay? Feel your shoulders drop, your chest loosen, and your mind clear. By the time you finish, that craving will feel smaller and you feel like the strong ass queen that you are. And if you want it to get even better, do it twice. (03:51) Name the thing again. Ground your body. Do the breath work. Do it as much as you want to. The more you do it, the better you feel. That sounds like, do you remember that song? The More You? Oh, that was like, the more you fart. Oh my gosh, I'm like a 16-year-old boy. The more you fart, the better you feel. So eat Your Beans with Every Meal. Do you guys remember that weird song? Where'd that come from? I'm a 1980 baby. So some of you in that era may remember. Alright? So just remember, every time you choose you over that toxic pull, you are rewiring your brain for that freedom. That peace. Okay? So save this episode and the next time the urge hits, if you need a little guidance here, just play it. Or if you can remember these three things, write 'em down on a Post-it note, put it on your mirror. (04:42) And also you can grab My Free Boundaries Pocket guide. Yes, I love boundaries. It's one of my favorite words. I have a Free Boundaries pocket guide, and that is in the show notes always. Or if you want to go deeper transformational shit, like who the hell are you? You Queen. At the end of working with me, look at the options to work with me. We have this intro call, but if you know, just want to jump into transformation and you're like, I already know. I love you, queen. Thank you, thank you. We can do a month long or we can do what a lot of my clients do because they want to really do the work. And that's the three month I'm showing up for myself, and I'm going to come out in three months and not recognize myself in the best of ways. So all the links are in the show notes. You got this. And give yourself a hug for showing up for yourself today. All right, see you in the next step.

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• Breaking the Trauma Bond: What Keeps You Hooked (And How to Finally Break Free)

  Breaking the Trauma Bond: What Keeps You Hooked (And How to Finally Break Free) 💬 Episode Description (Show Notes): You left… but you still feel hooked. You blocked them… but you still think about them. You know they were toxic… so why does part of you miss them? Welcome to the trauma bond. In this episode, Christy breaks down: 🔥 What a trauma bond really is 🧠 Why you feel addicted to someone who hurt you 🚪 The exact steps to finally unhook and come back to YOU If you’ve ever felt confused, ashamed, or obsessed after narcissistic abuse—this is your wake-up call (and your soft place to land). 💕 📥 Free Gift: The Boundaries Pocket Guide Want to stop second-guessing yourself and finally set boundaries that stick without the guilt spiral? Download Christy’s free Boundaries Pocket Guide — designed to help you reclaim your peace and protect your power after narcissistic abuse. ✨ Grab it here → https://christyjade.kit.com/ce79ea9250 🛠️ Ready to Go Deeper in Your Healing? Whether you’re newly out or years into recovery, support changes everything. Here are 3 powerful ways to work with Christy: ✅ Reclaiming You: 1:1 Clarity & Intake Session This 90-minute session is for the woman who’s serious about healing and wants to explore working together in a deeper way. It’s not designed as a one-off quick fix—but rather a powerful first step for those considering the monthly or 3-month coaching containers. If you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure which path to take next, this session is for you. 💻 Book here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ ✅ 1-Month Private Coaching Container Includes weekly coaching, somatic tools, and in-between support to help you regulate, reset, and start rebuilding trust with yourself. 💻 Apply here: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ ✅ 3-Month Transformational Coaching Package This is the most supportive and spacious container I offer. We’ll dive deep into emotional healing, nervous system support, boundary work, and personal empowerment so you can rise fully in your peace and power. 💻 Learn more: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 🔗 Related Episodes You’ll Love: 🎧 Still Attached to the Narcissist? This Deep Cord Cutting Practice Can Help 👉 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-attached-to-the-narcissist-this-deep-cord/id1662241353?i=1000708306120 🎧 Thrive in 5: Still Energetically Tied to the Narcissist? Cut the Cord With This Quick Practice 👉 https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-energetically-tied-to-the-narcissist-cut-the/id1662241353?i=1000706789155 👑 Stay Connected: ✨ Follow Christy on Instagram → https://instagram.com/christyjadecoach ✨https://www.instagram.com/fiercechristyjade/ TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): So you block them, you want no contact, whatever it is, they're toxic. So why does part of you still miss them or just obsess over them? Why do you feel guilty or worse even tempted to go back? I've been getting some messages lately with listeners who really are trying to stay away and out of the life and not take the bait, but it is hard for them. So let's go into it. If you've ever felt like you're addicted to the narcissist, this episode is for you. We're talking about the trauma bond, what it is, why it's so hard to break, and how to finally unhook and come back to you because you're the queen, right? (00:46) Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear? Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there. And let's cue your royal glow up. (01:44) Hello, beautiful soul. Welcome back to Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast where we were clean that peace, protect our power, and rebuild self-trust after narcissistic abuse. I'm Christy Jade, and today we are going deep into something most survivors wrestle with. I'd probably say all of them, even after they leave it is the trauma bond. That soul tie feeling, the obsessive loop that goes round and round in your mind, that craving for someone you know is harmful. And we can get shame about this, right? Kick that shit to the curb. We don't have time for your shame. Alright? So you're not crazy. You are trauma bonded and we're going to talk about it. So what is a trauma bond? It is a psychological and physiological attachment. These are real things, okay? Science that forms through repeated cycles of abuse and the intermittent reinforcement. So basically they hurt you. (02:49) They love bomb you, so you feel relief, right? Then what do they do? They pull away again. It's like, yo-yo, right? And your nervous system actually does become addicted to this cycle. The ups and downs, it becomes attached to it. It's the cycle. It's familiar, and you want that relief, right? Even after they hurt you, you're waiting, okay, well, I'm just holding onto that high. So kind of like a slot machine. You don't really know what you're going to get each day. You keep pulling the lever, hoping this time they're going to love you, right? They're going to treat you right? You're going to change them. Maybe this is all stuff I've heard about in my own life, of course, and then heard from you guys and working with clients. So the more unpredictable the behavior, the stronger bond. (03:48) That's why narcissists are masters at trauma bonding you so signs that you're still hooked even after going no contact or low contact. These trauma bonds can still linger. So here's some signs to know if you are still bonded, you miss them more than you want to admit. You might keep it on the dl. You fantasize them about them changing. Maybe even after you are broken up completely could be after you're divorced, these things happen, right? You doubt yourself or feel guilty for leaving. You have those moments. Maybe it's not all the time you feel anxious, empty or depressed without them. And again, this can be one or all of these. You don't have to necessarily feel all of these, but these are different versions. You minimize what they did. Oh, it wasn't that bad, right? Or look, we had good times though, right? That's minimizing the bad too. (04:51) Or you feel pulled to contact them even when you know it's basically self-sabotage. You still have that pull. This isn't weakness. And I know we can feel weak when we're in this, I get it, but it's a physiological, psychological and emotional loop. And until you interrupt it, it's going to keep looping. So why is it so hard to break? We're going to break down why you're still hooked. Even when your logical mind, you know that guy, there's like on the left shoulder, his logic says run. There is brain chemistry involved in this. So take a sigh of relief, maybe hug yourself. Like, Hey, this is actually a real condition in my brain. (05:39) So give yourself grace, please. So each high you got after a discard or mistreatment abuse, the hoover, the love bomb. That's the cycle. Discard Hoover love bomb released dopamine. You literally became chemically addicted to those tiny hits of validation and relief. And it's a cycle of knowing, oh, well, you know the pattern. You've been around this person long enough to know what the pattern is. So that can look like, oh, there's this abuse. I know what comes after it. That dopamine hit, it's going to feel better after. So I'm going to stick around for that dopamine. Okay? (06:26) Also, you attach during crisis. So that's another reason you are hooked, right? So you brain bonded during trauma. This is a primal survival strategy. Primal. It says stay close to danger so you can control it. And this is a big one in my past. Predict it. You feel like, okay, at least I know I can predict what's going to happen. Spoiler, you cannot control it, but your brain keeps trying. It wants to, which makes sense. And then there's the low self-worth equals an easier hook. So another reason it's hard to break when someone makes you feel like only they can love you the way they love you. Or maybe you're not worthy of love, right? These abusers often will make you feel like shit, knock you down, crush any confidence you have so they can have control over you and hook you more, right? It can tap into your childhood wounds, unmet needs you had, whether it was childhood are grown and fears, just even based on fears that you can lower your self-worth. They become your source of value. Really, you're dependent on them in those dopamine hits and those love bombs to feel valuable. So when they pull away, you panic because your sense of self, which is not from this point on, that's not going to be our sense of self anymore. We're going to do this work, but because that sense of self is tied to them. So how do you break free? That's all Great. Christie, how do you break free? (08:13) Let's flip the script here, Rick. Rick, here's how you start cutting the cord for real. First, label it as trauma bond. Naming it really out loud. Say it out loud. I'm a big advocate of saying shit out loud. Name it. This is trauma bond. It is not love. It is not a soulmate. It is a trauma bond. Say it. This is a trauma bond. Go ahead, queen. And then we're going to rename it from love toon. So that is going to reframe it in your mind and you might have to repeat that. You can repeat as much as you want. Put it on a beautiful old sticky note on your mirror. Number two, here we are my favorite going no contact. I know it's not as easy as it is for some as others, and some situations are hard to do. Do that in obviously co-parenting littles, but as limited as possible. (09:17) Okay? So that's blocking on socials. Even if you just check their page or you're not following them necessarily, no, every exposure is another dopamine hit. Okay? Think about it. I want you to suck that up. Why do you check their socials? It's actually a dopamine hit. It's reinforcing your cycle of what the shitty shit and the dopamine hit. We want to get rid of the cycle. Cold Turkey is hard, but it is clean. We love a good clean break and it works faster than the slow trying to pull away from that dopamine ripping off the bandaid. And by the way, if you need help doing this and support, that's what I'm here for. So check out the ways to work with me in my show notes always there and my emails there. If you have any questions about what I think you need, you can always email me too. (10:14) Alright. Number three, flood your nervous system with safety. We can't think our way out of this. This is a body thing. This is where the somatic work comes in. And I do somatic work with most of my clients. We need to feel safe in our bodies. That's where all of the somatic energy healing comes. So this, and it's like, oh, somatic. We're not going to get crazy going into somatic healing today. I'm going to give you a few examples of what you can do. Getting a walk in nature, grounding with your bare feet. Yes, go hippie on me. Okay, orienting practice. I think I've talked about this one, but you're looking around, you're naming what you see often. I will tell myself, prompt myself, okay, find four aqua things in the room. Aqua is a little harder than red, right? So I like a little challenge or find four different patterns. (11:10) Find what are two smells I can smell? What are three sounds? I can hear the birds chirping, right? The air filter that's blowing the TV two rooms away. It makes you present. Breath work, even cold water. I don't mess with cold water. I don't care. I don't care how much work I need. I'm never doing the cold water plunge. Okay? But you do, you boo boo. So you calm your body, you clear your mind. And yes, those might be momentary, but hey, they all add up. If you want to do deeper work, hit me up. Number four, rewire the belief that you need them. Let's say it for the people in the back, in the way, way back, rewire the belief that you need them. Start affirming. Have you heard of affirmations? Yeah. Love shouldn't hurt. (12:04) And maybe save this episode or write these down. You can repeat 'em. Love shouldn't hurt. I don't chase chaos. I choose peace. And this one, okay, I was taught conditioned that this was love. It is not. And I get to learn a new way, the real way, by the way. So you're not just detoxing from them. I'm going to repeat this. I really feel this in my heart that you need to hear it. You're not just detoxing from them. You're detoxing from the belief that love equals pain. Okay? You're so used to that. It was just part of the bargain, part of the deal. No, no ma'am. (13:04) So detox from that belief, and you can keep those affirmations so you don't really miss them. I know it feels like that. You miss the illusion, the validation, the love bombing, the dopamine, the feeling special when they would put you in those moments. And the good news is you can give yourself everything you were chasing in them. Do you know that? Work with me, queen. You're going to be a confident as queen. Upgrade. We're upgrading our confidence here. If this episode hit home, go share it. Is there someone else who could use this that that's feeling hooked? Okay, save it. Let's normalize this part of the healing journey, because shame has no seat at our table or our throne, whatever you want to call it. If you want more help unwinding trauma from your nervous system, let's grab your intake call and start our journey. (14:11) The intake call, it's about an hour and a half, an hour to an hour and a half, depending how far we go in your story. It's really me getting a background. We usually have time to do a little somatic exercise together, and then that sets you up and sets me up with the information so that we can start our really deep work together, like lasting work. And I say that because Somatic Healing was a life changer for me. I did therapy for years. I love therapy. I love all the shit, but the somatic healing, and I do both. We do a little therapy, but we also, we really focus on feeling better and safe in the body too, right? Because the body remembers everything. That's where it sits. That's where we upset. Stomach, stress, shoulders, all these symptoms that we get can be so related to our nervous system being so jacked up from all the years of dealing with this crap, right? (15:18) Yeah. We work on the brain stuff too, the mind stuff. How to deal with the narcs in your life if you're still involved with them at all that. But we do both so that you can have a complete healing and really a healing that not just the foundation, but then afterwards you actually get to thrive, right? You're getting this, I almost picture it like a, what's it? A vault? You've run what? Jump on that vault and then you're limitless. You might feel like that's not even attainable right now. So I won't go too deep into that. I know it can feel far away, but I'm telling you, I've been there. I have gone through a lot of shit in my life and I am an amazing peace bubble in my life. I'm unshakeable. I know my truth. I don't take the bait of any freaking narcissist anymore. (16:16) I have way more confidence and self-trust. Even more important than confidence is my self trust. You can get there. If I can get there, you can get there. Okay? So if you're interested in doing this work, one-on-one links are in the show notes or email me. Alright? Felt some passion up in here, but you are not alone. You're not broken. You're finally freeing yourself, right? This was a trauma bond and we're taking the scissors and we're cutting them, by the way. Ooh. I also want you to go in the show notes. There's also an energetic cord cutting episode I have. I think I actually have two of 'em. There's a longer one and a Thrive in five. If you don't know, I do thrive in fives on Thursdays. They're five minutes around. Five minutes. I'm chatty. So maybe 10 somatic healing exercises every single Thursday to get that hands-on ship. Okay? So I'll put those two episodes in the show notes as well. All right, see you in the next step. Love you. Bye.

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• How to Calm Your Body After Ending a Narcissistic Friendship

  Leaving a narcissistic friend can leave your nervous system on edge—even if your mind knows you made the right call. In this Thrive in Five, I’ll walk you through a quick somatic tool to: ✨ Ground yourself in the moment ✨ Release tension + melt stress away ✨ Remind your body it’s safe to choose peace 💜 Work With Me 1:1 – One Month: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:03): Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a Breath Queen. This one's for you. Today's Thrive Thrivent five is exciting. I'm really excited about this. It's a somatic tool for leaving a narcissistic friend. You're like, why is that exciting? I wish I had known the somatic aspects of this when I had a narcissistic friend that I left because it can really do a number on you. So leaving a narcissistic friend can be more challenging than you might expect. Your body feels the loss before your brain fully processes it, and the body remembers as we know. But today, I'm going to give you a quick somatic tool that you can use anytime that guilt or anxiety, whatever the ick feelings start creeping in. So the first step is grounding your body. So you can sit or stand with both feet flat on the floor and you feel the weight of your body pressing down. You're concentrating on that weight like roots growing into the earth. You're feeling them really weighing down, melting into the surface below them. The second step is orient to safety. So this is slowly turning your head to the right, slowly turning your head to the left. If you want to look up, down, just really slowly looking around being aware of your surroundings. (01:50) And when you've done that, you can name three things you see in the room or whatever space you're in, that feel either neutral or pleasant, right? So let me look around. I have this sparkly bag I just love, so I'm going to say rainbow sparkly bag, and it gives me a little lift, right? I'm going to look, Ooh, coral nail polish. Yes, queen. Love that color gives me big old joy. What else do I have in? I have my crown because I'm a queen. There's my crown, right? So orient to safety and you're noting things. This takes, it's like a distraction tactic in a way, but also you're uplifting yourself by looking for things that are at least neutral, if not positive things that bring you joy. Step three, soften those shoulders and your jaw, right? Narcissistic friendships can keep you in tension mode if you didn't notice, and it's time to detent ourselves. (02:58) So you exhale, do the inhale when you exhale, it's that exhaling drop, right? When we do our breath work, inhale, when you exhale, you let everything just kind of, I don't know. Today's theme is melting. Let's just melt everything, okay? And unc unclenching the jaw. You can even have the slack jaw where you might look real dumb, but nobody's watching right now. Okay, you're fine, you're good. Number four, self anchor with touch. So you could place a hand over your heart and the other over your belly. That's a very common yoga slash meditation stance, right? Keeping it there and feeling the warmth of your hands, the weight of your hands, letting them melt into your body. And this is not just comforting, but it's also you showing up for yourself, which when we've gone through narcissistic abuse, the self-trust can dissipate, right? So I'm like, yeah, I'm here. I'm here, queen, I'm here for you. I'm here for you self. I'm okay. And step five, repeat your permission phrase so you can tailor this to what you want, but I'll give an example and you can say it in your head or out loud. I'm a big fan of talking to myself out loud. I feel like it just imprints more. But you could keep your hands to heart. Whatever feels good. I am safe to choose peace, and I do not need to carry guilt for protecting myself. (04:46) Say it with your queen attitude. I am safe to choose peace. I do not need to carry guilt for protecting myself. When we say it out loud too, sometimes it helps us see how ridiculous that is. Why do I feel guilty for protecting myself? No, ma'am. Not in this house. No. All right. So those are five steps. Ground your body, orient to safety. Soften everything, melt it down. Self anchor with touch, and then repeat your permission phrase. I'm saying repeat it because you're supposed to say it more than once. Affirmations don't. Affirmations by now, if you do it for 21 days, you'll become a unicorn jumping over rainbows. It's true. So every time you feel pulled back into that friendship out of guilt or just habit even, right? You're used to this, give your body this reset. So save this episode. Somatic tools are not just for panic times either. (05:53) So whenever you feel like reclaiming your power, you could do this every morning. You could do this before bed, right? Any affirmations, any empowering stuff like this, you guys build it into your routine. Do it when you brush your teeth, you're already doing something there anyway. Just think it, because if you say it while you try to brush your teeth, it might come out like, I fish I carry. I go, no, that's a little crazy. But I guess we're a little crazy in here. Anyway. So in all seriousness, this is reclaiming your power, reminding yourself in your body, in your bones that it is safe to walk away our bodies. We've been conditioned to feel unsafe through the narcissist, and we're not here for that anymore. We're going to condition ourselves to be safe. Okay? So if you want to do deeper work, you can sign up for one month or three months of transformational, not just mindset work and talk therapy, but we're also doing the somatic body work because that combination is explosive. (07:01) If you have not listened to my rant about it in the last episode, go listen, you will learn more about it. But this is epic fascinating work. And if you want a true transformation, that's what you got to do. You have to put in the time and invest in yourself. And if you can't, that's okay. We have free shit like these podcasts. We have a free downloadable guide for boundaries, a little boundary setting guide. So I will link that free Facebook group. And if you want to truly customize your journey and a year from now say, holy hell, what just happened in a good way? Go click on the link to work one-on-one with me. There's two options, and for the three month, you actually have Voxer access in between our calls. These are once a week calls, and with the three month you get it's epic, okay? (07:59) You get Voxer access, which is a walkie-talkie app that I check at least every 48 hours, usually every 24, and we'll get back to you if you're just needing anything in between our calls. So that's a very popular choice for clients right now. These clients are ready to not just know how to navigate with the narcissist, that mindset stuff and all of that, how to deal this and how to do that. All the podcast stuff, there's some of that out there on the podcast. We can go deeper with the mindset work, but really they're ready for that body work too. To say, I want to recalibrate my body, my nervous system so that whatever comes at me, no matter what, I not just know what to say and do, but my body's here for it, and I will go in calm. I'm not going to get all of that stuff, all the anxiety, the swirling thoughts that is going to decrease monumentally. Okay? So if you're ready for that, I told you where I told you, it's in the show notes every time, all day, every day. So go sign up for either one month or three months and we will have a journey that will change your entire life. You're already a queen. You're going to be a queen with two crowns. Yeah, that's what happens at the end of it, you get two Crown Queen. Alright, I'll see you in the next episode. Have a beautiful weekend. Bye. (11:54) That's your Thrive in Five Queen. Now go sip your tea, adjust your crown, and protect your piece like it's got a restraining order against toxic energy because it should. I will see you Tuesday for next week's full episode, AKA, your weekly deep dive into healing and handling the unhealed with grace and maybe a little side eye. So don't forget to follow the podcast so you don't miss a moment, and check the episode description for ways to work with me and grab your freebies because healing does not have to be lonely, and it definitely doesn't have to be boring. Until next time, sparkle up.  

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• How to Spot and Leave a Narcissist Friend ( Without the Guilt )

  💎 Work With Me Monthly 1:1 Coaching (weekly calls) https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-monthly/ 3-Month Major Transformational 1:1 Coaching + Voxer Access https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/transformational-coaching-quarterly/ 💬 Join My Private Facebook Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 💌 Grab Your FREE Boundaries Guide https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ 🎧 Related Episodes You’ll Love: The Grey Rock Method: How to Deal With a Narcissist https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-grey-rock-method-how-to-deal-with-a-narcissist/id1662241353?i=1000648879776 Finding True Friendship as an Adult https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-19-finding-true-friendship-as-an-adult/id1662241353?i=1000608356800 Filling Your Friendship Cup After Narcissistic Abuse https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-20-filling-your-friendship-cup-after-narcissistic-abuse/id1662241353?i=1000608950715 ---------------------------TRANSCRIPT------------------------------- Speaker 1 (00:03): Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear. Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry ice and had a come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck and find healing methods that actually lasted. Now I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. (01:00) Friendships feel safe, or at least they should, right? They're supposed to be the soft place to land, but when your friend is a narcissist, that soft place can turn into a minefield. It's confusing because there's no romance, no shared bills, no legal ties. I mean, sometimes there can be shared bills if you're living with them, but in general, it's not as enmeshed as a romantic partner or lifelong partner that you're married to. So you think, shouldn't it be easier to leave? But not always. You've got shared history, the inside jokes, mutual friends is a big one, and narcissists love to weaponize all of that to keep you stuck, right? We talk about that sticky spider web. They keep you in. They're really good at keeping you in the sticky web. So let's talk first how to spot a narcissist friend. So there aren't just friends. (02:04) These aren't friends with bad days or just quirks, right? These are patterns. You're looking for patterns. So what kind of patterns? One, it's always about them. Even your big moments, they redirect the spotlight somehow back to them, right? Another one. Number two, one sided emotional labor. So maybe you are their therapist, their cheerleader, their 3:00 AM crisis hotline, but maybe they're not as there for you. Maybe when you're reaching out, they nowhere to be found, right? That's a big no. The other thing is subtle digs and jealousy. This is the third backhanded compliments, undermining your wins or straight up competing with you, right? Little jealous comments. Number four, boundary blindness. So they will blow up your phone till no one. They will say, oh, it's an emergency. Maybe when it's not really quite an emergency, they will ignore your no, or just show up uninvited because that's what they want to do. (03:21) Even sometimes after they've asked you and you've said no, right? So they're not really good at boundaries. Alright? Number five, the guilt trip. Queen or king, if it's a guy, friend of yours, this one is huge, okay? The guilt tripping, and they may make it jokey, they may make it subtle, but if you cancel plans or you do set boundaries, set limits in your relationship, you are the bad friend. And I had this happen to me. I asked one of my friends to please stop yelling at me that we were grown adults and I wasn't going to tolerate that and it wasn't handled well. So when you set boundaries and they go like, no, this either. This is just how I am. Deal with it, which is a response I got, or even twisting it and deflecting and turning it onto you, or you're being sensitive or whatever. (04:22) I'm not yelling. Look, bitch, I know what yelling is. Okay? All right. So why does it feel so hard to leave these relationships? It's not just the friendship. You are grieving when you are deciding to or going, no contact, cutting someone off, whatever you want to call it. It's this shared identity that you have, especially if this is someone you've been friends with for decades or new, just really got close quick. It's a newer friend, but you just felt like soul soulmates, which can happen with a narcissist because they can make you feel like the queen of prom, but then that's how they get you in, and then they chew you up and they spit you out, chew up, spit you out, chew you up, spit you out, right? So this person though, they know your past, they know your secrets, your deep feelings, any vulnerabilities you've shown, they know that, right? (05:22) And narcissist specifically can build a false sense of sisterhood. So you feel like you owe them loyalty no matter what, even at your own expense, which is a no right? Loyalty. Look, I'm Italian. I love some good loyalty, right? But there's a line. So let's be real. Society tells us friendships should last forever, and when they don't, there's also that guilt you have, right? Because it's just like, oh, how great is it to have a friend your whole life or since you're 15, or even just when you first got married, whatever stage of life you're in, it feels great to have a friend like that. And it can also feel somewhat of a failure if you are breaking up a friendship, but it's not baby. The failure is keeping someone toxic around. So how do you leave without the guilt? These are some fun steps. (06:20) We're going to do five steps. I love numbers. Step one, decide what you will and won't accept. My hell yes, hell no. List. Make your own for friendship qualities. What makes you feel good? I will go down through my best friends. My best friends, lift me up. I know my best friends are not judging me or not talking behind my back. I know my best friends give me, they meet me halfway. I could be having a bad day like anyone else. We all have our days and they'll meet me halfway. They might just say, oh, what's going on? Right? They're not going to just jump down my throat or something if I maybe do have to cancel plans. I'm just not. Look, my dad passed recently, right? I've canceled a plan because I just didn't have it in me to go out in the world, right? (07:16) A good dear best friend should easily accept that and say, cool, is there anything you need? Whatever, right? Narcissists often will be like, oh, but you said you'd do this, and so they're still going to guilt trip you, so on your hell yes. It's lifting up. No guilt trips, making you feel good about yourself, trusting, knowing that they trust you. You can trust 'em. The hell knows there's a million hell nos. We can, I know more hell knows than I do. Hell yeses, hell nos. Definitely Guilt trips. Those are the biggest thing. Oh, they just kill me. The guilt trips, the oh punishing. That's a huge one. Do they punish you? I had a friend. Here's an example of being punished in a different way than you might think. We had plans to go to the, let's say apple orchard, whatever it was. At 10 in the morning, something happened where I asked, can we meet at 11? (08:22) And it was something legit, I forget what it was, but there was some, not emergency, crazy emergent, but some that came up that was like, shit, can we just push it an hour? Neither one of us had plans the rest of the day. It was just us going and this person was known for doing things like this. If it wasn't exactly what they wanted, how they wanted, then there was punishment. The punishment was that she said to me, nevermind, I'm going to take my other friend. And I was basically uninvited because I asked if we could go hour later. So that's a form of punishment, okay? It's not cool. That's a big hell no other hell nos deflecting, turning things around on you when you're trying to address something with them. Overstepping boundaries. So get clear on your hell, yeses your hell. Noes are just, those are some examples. (09:14) If you want to go deep, you want to do coaching, you want to transform your life, so you set up the best boundaries you can freaking imagine and know how to maintain them and not have the guilt and be unshakeable with your boundaries. Then go look at my show notes and sign up for ongoing coaching. That's all I'm doing now. We're not doing one-off calls anymore. People, we're doing big girl shit. So if you want to sign up, you do one month or you do three months. So get in there, okay? We're going to do big girl queen shit now. So you want to change, you want your life to freaking excel and feel joyful and peaceful and all that good. Let's talk. Go check it out. Alright, step two, set and communicate your boundary. This can be gradual, okay? This can be shorter calls not answering every time they call because you're scared because you're walking on eggshells because they're going to punish you if you don't answer. (10:13) It's like if you don't answer their call once, they're not going to answer your call the next five times. This is the type of shit I'm talking about or direct. You can say, this friendship isn't healthy for me anymore. I once had to say to a person and we were friends for a very, very long time and I loved her. I still love her. I still care deeply about her, but I felt like there was a lot of these terms and conditions going on and unhealthy ways. And I did say to her, I love you so much. I feel like we could have a distant relationship and maybe we could hang out and grab coffee every few months, but I can't have you in my daily life because anytime I do, we end up at this place again and it's not healthy for either of us, right? Okay. Did she love that? Probably not. Did she say let's go get tacos? No, but that was okay. That was fine. I gave an option. So I'm very direct. I'm 45. I've been doing the boundary shit for years. I'm too direct probably, but it works for me. You find your comfort zone with boundaries, and I have a boundary course too. I tell you all how to fluff it up and do the things that I don't really do anymore because a lot of people are not where I'm at, and that's probably a good thing. (11:40) And you don't owe them some Ted talk explaining every detail. That's where you're taking the bait. They want that. They want the chaos, they want the drama. You just make it very simple. You're talking with a narcissist. If you don't know the gray rock method, I have episodes on it. I'll link in the show notes, but just keep it simple. Keep it not emotional. If you want to fluff it up, absolutely, you can fluff it up a little and say, I love you so much. I've been really trying to navigate this and figure out how we can be friends and still have fun together. But you could say just a quick, if something specific happened and I'm just not feeling that it's healthy since then, or you can just say, it just isn't feeling like a healthy friendship for me and what I need and I'd like you to see your way the fuck out. No, you don't say that. It's just not healthy for me anymore. And that's that, right? If you want a better script, you know where to find me. Alright? Step three, expect pushback. If it's a narcissist, toxic, whatever, abuse person, toxic, throw 'em all in the bin and prepare. (12:58) They could guilt trip you, gaslight you. If you dunno what that is, it's kind of like making you confused and believing things that aren't true. You're the crazy one. And you start to get all muffled up in your head, right? So they're gaslighting you, making you really think you're the crazy one, putting it like they do. They turn things around, right? Or and or rallying up mutual friends. This happens. They love a good smear campaign. If it's a true narcissist, they're going to smear you to whoever they can. Your own family, your own friends, whoever they know, they may say, oh my gosh, they'll twist a story of how this all went down. If you do say something direct, be prepared. They're going to be like, what a bitch. She said, that's why we do the work, the deeper work because we work on your nervous system. (13:53) So that stuff doesn't bother you anymore. Your body says, guess what? I'm at peace over here. So I'm not really giving a fuck what this person is telling old Julie over there about how I send this. And if Julie is a good friend, she's not going to believe her. She's going to know the truth. That's my friend. That's the loyalty, right? So you got to do the deeper work too. These are tips, but you got to do the deeper work. So that's textbook narcissists, all of that stuff, right? So keep reminding yourself why you are leaving. Peace bubble. Peace bubble. I guess that's what you can take away from all this. Stay in your peace bubble. Remind yourself of the peace bubble. You're doing this. Protect your peace. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with ending a relationship with someone who is affecting your mental health. (14:45) End of story. I don't care who the fuck they are or how long they've been around, they're passionate today. A lot of curses jumping out. Alright, step four, fill the space with healthier connections. This is so good. This is what I did when I have disconnected from people, it literally opens up space in your life for something healthier, something better, something that you may not even know existed. I have made friends that I'm like, where the freak did these unicorns come from? How magical unicorns just traipsing all around my life, just uplifting, cheerleaders, people that feel very safe. I never have to walk on eggshells. We don't have to walk on eggshells around. We get each other. We understand. We give each other grace. Those are the friends you want to leave room for in your life and schedule that time. If you know of those people and you don't spend that much time, spend more time with them. (15:44) If not, join groups. I have episodes on friendships too, about how to make friends. I'm trying to think if that was this podcast or my other one, but I'll do another episode on that. But yes, finding friends can be different, difficult, but it's definitely doable. And find different clubs. That's my main thing is find something you love. Do more of that and you'll naturally meet people that are more like-minded. Even I found one of my best friends randomly in a book club. It was like a self-help. What was it? Rachel Hollis. Remember her book club years ago, and I met this girl in the book club. We are best friends talk every day. So you never know. Number five, step five, release the guilt. Remind yourself you're walking away from someone who consistently is harming you. And I know that can sound dramatic and you're like, well, it's not abuse. (16:44) We can call it. It doesn't matter what we call it. It's toxic. It's gross, it's uncomfortable, it's unhealthy. Unhealthy is my new favorite word because unhealthy doesn't sound as dramatic. People are like, oh God, abuse. And then, okay, unhealthy. Same thing as you don't want to be smoking cigarettes. If you're smoking quit, you don't want to be putting these people all up in your energy space either, right? It's bad for you, they're bad for you. So don't feel guilty. You are protecting your peace. And part of this deeper work too that we do, that you do if you work one-on-one with me is this deeper level of self-love and self-respect. And guess what? I'm going to tell you something. Until you have self love, you are not going to get or attract self-respect, sorry, respect from others on that deeper level. When I started cutting people out that I was like, shit, these people aren't treating me well. (17:49) This is a real live thing. And I started doing that and gaining in parallel, gaining a lot more confidence and not just confidence, I've been confident in a way in life, but like a self-trust, it really is self-trust. When I got self-trust, way more down is when I started really setting boundaries with ease, standing in my boundaries, attracting better people in my life in general, attracting even just with my jobs, with my clients, with everything. When you have self-trust, you make decisions faster. You don't have so much worry in your mind because you just feel like, I know I know how to do this. I know how to handle this. Whatever comes at you, you got it, you've got this queen, we got this. Okay. So yes, you got to do the deep work, but these are some tips to start with. If you're not ready to dive into deeper healing, I hope you get there soon because I'm telling you it is. (19:02) I don't know, what are those credit cards? It's just invaluable. But that's not it. I was going to make a joke and now I can't think of it. Priceless. Priceless. I should actually do a narcissist abuse, recovery, priceless commercial. So it is priceless. It is priceless. And yes, I've spent money on coaches. I've spent more on, not specifically narcissist, I did do some therapy with a therapist that was somewhat aware of narcissism, but I really knew more than she did. And that's not going against her. That's just facts. But I've dove deep into education and books and videos and all sorts of stuff. You do have to invest in yourself if you want to make transformation. And I have invested deeply and it is priceless and I never have regrets. I'll say that there's no regret in the world with the growth I have had and what I've overcome and how I am hardcore peace bubble boundary queen doesn't take shit from anybody. (20:06) And I have joy and I have just amazing things happening in my life and amazing people. And that is not a coincidence. That is totally in alignment because I chose to do the work and better my life. All right? So I know it is not easy, right? This friendship stuff, I've been there. The heartstrings are real. If they send you little carrots, we call 'em right? To try to get you little heartstring messages. Oh remember wins that can happen to, let me just put it this way, none of that. When you're in those moments, just picture them as a dump truck with a whole of shit in it. And they're just lifting that, lifting that truck bed. I don't know if they're called truck beds for dump trucks. I'm not a truck girl, but lifting it up and all that shit is being dumped on you. (21:02) You're going to emotional dump, right? They're emotionally dumping on you. That's what you need to imagine. I want you to get that lovely picture in your mind. So anytime you have that feeling, just think about what that, because that's what it is. It's a bunch of shit you never signed up for and you don't deserve and you don't need. We are too old for this shit. So I don't care if you've been friends 20, 30 years, whatever, you're allowed to walk away. I'm giving you full permission to not be dumped on anymore. So if you're listening right now and you're like, this is me, take this as that permission slip to choose you, it's okay. You're choosing you. There is no problem with that, right? And on the other side, there is that piece. There is that clarity and space for those sparkly unicorn friends I talked about. (22:03) Yeah. So if this episode hit home, you could first of all get my boundaries pocket guide. If you don't have that, that is free. I know people love the little free stuff. That's easy, right? We got these tips that are free. That's great. You want to do transformational work. I just had three people sign up this week for long-term real freaking transformation. And I do run out of spots I don't have. This is a lot of work. This is a lot of my time and investment and I really care about my clients. I put a lot into this so I don't have endless openings. So if you are interested, go sign up. We will work around your schedule to find a time, a weekly call on Zoom in between. If you sign up for the three month jam, which is like you're not going to recognize yourself after, in a good way, you get Voxer access in between the calls. (23:06) Not every day, all day. Okay, I got shit to do. I got a life, I got clients, I got my own kid. But at least once a day I will check Voxer and if you leave a message, I will respond within 24 or 48 hours, usually 24. But you get that, that's like a bonus you get for doing the three month. If you want to do one month at a time. There's that option too. There is no vox or access. It's still great. Once a week on zoom, we zoom, zoom. What is that? That's mindset talk, which that's shifting enough. But then you put in the somatic healing, which is healing the body. Ooh girl. If you want more information, I'll put my email. That's always in the show notes too. This combination of mindset and body work is what you need for lasting and lasting healing. (24:00) The mindset work is great, but what I noticed with myself with clients is I don't think you ever fully fall back all the way, but you can have shifts and then you might backpedal or stop doing this or that. When you do this body healing work, it just like amplifies the healing you're doing with the mindset work. And it makes it last because the body remembers. The body remembers everything. It's stored in there. You get in the tight shoulders, the stomach aches, the headaches. That's the body. That's stress, that's tension. So the mindset work can help a lot with the thinking and how to navigate things and how to handle the narcissist and the body work is we are going to calibrate your nervous system so you can handle anything. You can handle those conversations. So it just like the two together is where it's at. That's no matter what you sign up for. With me, we are doing both of those things. Where are you going to be in five years? Let's do two years. Two years from now. If you haven't done the work, the transformational work, how are you going to feel if you're still in the same place you are right now in two years? (25:27) I love a vacation too, but for me that lasting healing and transformation is more important. That would be my priority. I know not everyone's going to be there, but if you are there and you're like, I don't want to be here in two years, I really don't. I've been doing this. Maybe you've been in stuck for a while. If you want to get unstuck, let's do it. I have faith in you. I know you can do it. All of my clients have had incredible success. I have testimonials, I have all that junk. And we have fun doing it too. I mean it's work as in you got to show up. But we can have fun. We know you are working with the queen here and you're a queen. So two queens on a Zoom call. I mean, can't be that bad, right? Alright, so definitely go sign up. (26:26) And I know I got on a side tangent, but I don't know, passion just comes over me. What can I say? That's the Italian too. So I will see you in the next episode. We're going to do a thrive in five Thursdays are thrive in five. I usually do something related to the Tuesday episode and it's thrive in five. So it's some sort of somatic healing or a pep talk, quick pep talk, breath work, meditation, whatever, different things. So I will be recording that actually right after this. I'm going to do a two for one. Look at me, go look at me stacking my work so I can put that out on Thursday. And don't forget to follow the podcast wherever you're go run and do that. All the things. It's a big to-do list today. Make sure you're following so you get notified. Every time my podcast pops, it drops, pops and drops and locks. (27:25) Okay? Because you want to be ready for our queen talks, don't you? Yeah, you look like you do. All right, let's take a deep breath. Inhale and release. Inhale and release. You guys did amazing listening to all that jabbering. I'm so proud of you. You get an extra little heart emoji from me. I wish I could send you heart emojis here. That'd be fun. Alright, so go do the things. If you want to dive deep, just let's just do it. Let's go for it. It's going to be fun. Okay? All right, loves these. See you in the next episode. Bye.

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  28:11
• Narcissistic Family Roles Detox

  📅 Book a private session: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ 💬  Join my private facebook community here:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 Grab your free Boundaries guide: https://christyjade.ck.page/ce79ea9250 Empowered Boundaries Course: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ Speaker 1 (00:03): Welcome to your Thursday, thrive in five, your five minute pause from the chaos, the gaslighting, and that text you knew better than to reply to take a breath queen. This one's for you. Hey. Hey, queen. Today we're doing a little identity detox from the role that your narcissistic family cast you in. Because listen, if you were the scapegoat, the fixer, the golden girl, the lost one, that was not you. It was a role you adapted to so you could survive in this toxic system that was created. But you're safe now. Take a breath. You're going to be safe. If you don't feel safe. Now you are going to, we're going to get you there, but we're going to start letting that old identity fall away. Say byes. Say byes, kiss it goodbye. This five minute practice is called the roll detox. So grab your journal if you can, and if not, just listen and let it land. (01:07) Save it for later. And if you want to come back to it and get a journal, you can do that. But just really be present with this one. Okay? So step one, you're naming the role. Okay? So ask yourself, what role did I play in my family growing up? Were you the rebel, the perfect one, the one who kept quiet and kind of just disappeared into the background? Then you go a little deeper. Who did I have to become in order to feel safe or accepted in the family? Now, name it out loud. First we're going to start with I became the what to survive. Is it the rebel? Is it the attention seeker? Is it that golden child energy? The perfect one, the one who kept quiet? What did you become to survive the family or I learned to be what? Because it felt safer than being rejected. (02:23) None of these are your actual identity. Think of it as your armor. You are putting on this identity as armor. You put it onto survive and now it's safe to start taking it off. Take it off, girl. Alright, so step two, challenge the lie. Okay? So that role created a belief in you. So ask what lie did that role teach me about myself? These are some common ones. One of mine was this. I'm too much or too sensitive, right? I'm too much. But there's also, I'm not enough in a different way, right? I'm not enough. Maybe I'm not interesting enough. Maybe it's I'm not smart enough. Just good enough in any form is not good enoughness. Okay? Another common one. My needs are a burden, okay? I have a very close person in my life for privacy sake. I will not mention who it is, but this was hers. (03:35) She felt like she was always a burden to her parent. Always a burden. Did you ever feel like that? Or fear? Like if you spoke up, you'd be punished. And I'm not just talking violence, punished by sharp words, punished by being ignored. Punished by not getting things that other kids in the family might get because you spoke up. There's many ways that narcissists will punish you. I do think of them as the punishers. If you don't do what they want, when they want and how they want, you will get punished. So now let's flip it. So you've written down what is the lie that rule taught you about yourself? So you have that down. Now flip it, reclaim the truth, and then don't forget to say it out loud. You're writing it down, but also say it out loud. It's so healing to say stuff out loud. Can I just tell you, say it out loud. I'm loud. I have no problem doing that and then let it land. So some examples of this, my sensitivity is not a flaw, it's a gift. (05:00) I love my sensitivity. Now I'm sensitive. I'm empathetic. That's good. Does that make you a target for a narcissist? Sometimes, but we're learning to queen it out so we can rise above that and not take the bait. So own your sensitivity. Now, that's your armor. Shine that shit. Okay? You look sexy in sensitivity. I'm going to create a quote and put that on my Facebook. Guys, if you're not following me on my Facebook, by the way, always go click all the links. All the links in my show notes of the podcast, okay? I have a private Facebook group full of women just like you. And I drop some quotes, sometimes videos, my podcast episodes in there, all the fun. So go join that. All right. How about this one? I deserve love without earning it. You don't have to earn love. No. That should be given to you out them gates, out them wombs. Okay? You deserve love without earning it. Another one. Oh, let's see who this hits. Let's am safe When I'm fully myself. Fully, I am safe when I'm fully myself. Doesn't that feel good? If you could believe that, let's get you there. We're starting by just saying it out loud, okay? We're trying to start the transformation. (06:35) Another one being seen isn't dangerous, it's now powerful, right? Some of us growing up, being seen or heard could be dangerous. Why? Because we get punished. The punisher, the great Punisher, Uhuh, nope, it's powerful. Now we grownups and we're going to take our power back and it's going to be freaking powerful to be seen, to be heard, to have a voice and be able to say what your desires, what your needs are, that's power and you deserve it. So these truths are not just fluffy little affirmations. They are weapons, okay? Weapons of healing, how's that whip that healing around you? Got it? Alright, so we've got that down, okay? We've got challenging those lies. The now step three is anchoring a new identity. So take a deep breath in and out in the nose, out the mouth, close your eyes and visualize yourself free from that role. (07:55) No mask, no performance, no guilt, just you grounded, radiant, powerful like a dang queen. Okay? What does she wear? How does she speak? How does she protect her peace? And you can pause this and really marinate on it, okay? This is where the good shit happens, doing this work and hold that version of you in your heart. That is not future you. She's already up in there. Don't you feel her queen? She's in there. You're just reconnecting to her. All right? Repeat after me and then I'll let you go. I'm probably going over. Yep, there I am. Blobby mouth went over her five minutes. Surprise. All right. Say it with me. I'm no longer playing the role they gave me. I, okay, I'm living the truth. I chose. (09:05) I am not who they said I was. And here's my favorite. Yes, feel this one. I am who I decide to become. That is your thrive in 10 today, Queens. Real healing, real tools. We're not fluffing around. I don't fluff. Something I don't do is fluff, right? And if this cracks something open for you, go listen to this week's full episode. If you missed it, I walk you through the narcissistic family roles and how to break free from that without all the guilt Bs. So go look at that. Also, if you want to do deeper healing, really transformational stuff where you get to feel alive and have peace and have joy and don't have to struggle so much sitting in your brain spinning out all the time. If you want to get past that and heal from the body where you actually get lasting results, go click on one of those dang links I told you about, preferably the one-on-one coaching. You can start out with our Reclaim You Sessions, an hour and a half session. Okay? And then from there, we go to monthly work month, one month at a time, chapter after chapter, growth after growth, cleaning after Queening. Are you in? Yeah, go click it. All right? Have a beautiful day and I will talk to you in the next episode. (11:54) That's your Thrive in Five Queen. Now go sip your tea, adjust your crown, and protect your piece like it's got a restraining order against toxic energy because it should. I will see you Tuesday for next week's full episode, AKA, your weekly deep dive into healing and handling the unhealed with grace and maybe a little side eye. So don't forget to follow the podcast so you don't miss a moment. And check the episode description for ways to work with me and grab your freebies because healing does not have to be lonely, and it definitely doesn't have to be boring. Until next time, sparkle up.

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