Good Girl Deprogramming

Michelle is joined by the brilliant Barbara Nixon - success and leadership coach for senior execs and founder-led businesses - for a candid, wide-ranging conversation about growing up, breaking free from the corporate world, and reclaiming the confidence we had as kids before life slowly eroded it.
Barbara shares how she went from mischievous youngest child (who once just changed schools without really asking permission) to corporate high-flyer, to jumping off the career ladder mid-recession with zero plan and a lot of midnight panic in a Welsh cottage. They also get into the magic of talking to strangers on trains, why the rebel might just be part of the good girl story, and the one question Barbara thinks every woman should ask herself right now.
Funny, honest and genuinely thought-provoking - this one will have you thinking about your childhood self long after it's finished.
Show Notes:
Guest: Barbara Nixon — success and leadership coach and consultant working with MDs, directors and senior leaders in founder-led businesses. She helps executives elevate and grow, both in and out of work.
What we talk about:
0:00 — Intro & how Michelle and Barbara met (spoiler: Covid, the internet, and a mystery matchmaker)
2:40 — Did Barbara feel pressure to be a good girl growing up? The youngest child advantage — and changing schools without telling anyone
5:50 — When the confidence started to erode: A-levels, university, first child, and stepping onto the conveyor belt
7:00 — 13 years in corporate retail: what she loved, why she was known for asking the questions nobody else would, and why she eventually walked away
10:30 — Jumping into business with no plan, midnight panic in a Welsh cottage, and the loneliness nobody warns you about
28:00 — The conversation that's blowing Michelle's mind: is the rebel actually part of the good girl? Plus Barbara's one question every woman should ask herself
Barbara's question to sit with:"What do you need to learn from your younger self that you can use now?"
Connect with Barbara:
Find Barbara:
Website: ⁠www.barbaranixon.co.uk⁠
 Linkedin: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/barbaranixon1/⁠
 Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@iambarbaranixon
 Confident Leaders Scorecard: https://barbara-dn4exwq0.scoreapp.com/ 
 
Follow Michelle 
Website - https://www.michelleminnikin.com/ 
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mminnikin/  
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/goodgirldeprogramming  
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleminnikin
Buy Good Girl Deprogramming
Ebook and Paperback available at all good bookshops (and Amazon - https://amzn.to/3AQHuFf) 
Audible - https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/B0D9MKBDBW/?source_code=AUKFrDlWS02231890H6-BK-ACX0-406719&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_406719_rh_uk 
Take the Good Girl Roles Assessment
Find out if you’re a Good Girl at https://goodgirlroles.com/ 
If you enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends!

It’s been a while… and we’re back.
In the first episode of 2026, Michelle is joined by educator, tutor, author and business owner Caroline Bowmer – her co-author on Good Girl Deprogramming – Girl’s Edition and the accompanying Caregiver Guide.

This honest, funny, and deeply grounded conversation explores what it really means to grow up as a “good girl,” why perfectionism starts so young, and how we can support girls aged 10–14 to trust themselves before self-doubt takes hold.

Together, Michelle and Caroline talk about teenage brains, school pressure, fear of failure, people-pleasing, and why adolescence isn’t a problem to fix – it’s a vital transformation to protect.

This episode is for parents, carers, educators, and anyone who wants the next generation of girls to grow up freer than we did.

Chapters
00:00 – Welcome back to the Good Girl Deprogramming Podcast
01:17 – First episode of 2026 and why it’s been a while
02:05 – Growing up as a “Good Girl” and perfectionism
07:40 – How the girls’ book came together
10:45 – Test readers, early impact, and school transitions
16:00 – The teenage brain and the chrysalis metaphor
22:40 – Pressure, exams, and fear of failure
27:40 – Michelle’s journey into Good Girl Deprogramming
31:00 – Why self-love is still radical
33:40 – What we hope this book gives girls
35:10 – What’s next and final reflections

In this episode we explore
Why “being good” can quietly damage girls’ self-worth

How teenage behaviour is communication, not defiance

The importance of supporting trusted adults alongside girls

Why self-love is the foundation of confidence and autonomy

How to reduce pressure without removing care or standards

Mentioned in this Episode
Good Girl Deprogramming – Girl’s Edition (ages 10–14) - out on 16th Jan 2026

The Good Girl Deprogramming Caregiver Guide

Good Girl Conditioning

Perfectionism, people-pleasing, and fear of failure

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Join the conversation
What would you have needed to hear at age 12? Let us know in the comments.

Episode 30 - What Is a Bad Person? Unravelling Good Girl Conditioning with Alex Barker
Alex is a Captain of Be More Pirate, a book turned social movement and home for professional rule breaking (look out for season 3 of our podcast coming soon...)
Alex is author of How to: Be More Pirate, a speaker, facilitator, and a coach for women. For the past four years she has delved into the world of good girl conditioning with Pass the Mic; a speaking programme designed to help women find and own their voice.
What we talk about:
1:48 – Alex shares how being the eldest child shaped her “good girl” tendencies.

4:00 – Ballet, boobs, and being shamed for not fitting the mould.

9:27 – The subtle but powerful role of media, Spice Girls vs. societal approval.

14:45 – The evolution from good girl to fierce boundary-setter.

23:30 – The small ways we override our needs (and how to reclaim your day).

35:34 – The big provocation: What is a bad person, really?

Follow Alex on social media:  
Website - https://alexbarker.co.uk/ 
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/alexandrabrkr & https://www.instagram.com/bemorepirate/ 
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/alex-barker-46745471/ 

Follow Michelle on social media:  
Website - https://www.michelleminnikin.com/  
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mminnikin/  
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/goodgirldeprogramming  
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleminnikin
Buy Good Girl Deprogramming
Ebook and Paperback available at all good bookshops (and Amazon - https://amzn.to/3AQHuFf) 
Audible - https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/B0D9MKBDBW/?source_code=AUKFrDlWS02231890H6-BK-ACX0-406719&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_406719_rh_uk 
Take the Good Girl Quiz
Find out if you’re a Good Girl at https://goodgirlquiz.co.uk/ 
If you enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends!

Episode 29 - Leadership Lessons with Steph Edusei
Steph is back on the podcast - this time to talk about her BRAND NEW BOOK!! The Little Book of Leadership Lessons. 
 Steph Edusei is the Chief Executive of St Oswald’s Hospice, a large children and adults charitable hospice. She’s also a Director of the North East Chamber of Commerce.
As an integral part of her local community, Steph has been a leader with Girlguiding UK for over 30 years and holds the position of Chair at Eliot Smith Dance Company. Previously, she served as a Non-Executive Director of The Newcastle upon Tyne Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust and was the co-chair of The Angelou Centre, a Black-led women's charity offering training, counselling, and refuge support.
Steph is the founder of the ‘Black All Year’ podcast and associated events. She uses the platform to amplify black voices, highlight the challenges faced by Black people, and celebrate their successes and achievements.
In 2022, Steph was named Transformational Leader at the Northern Power Women Awards.
In 2024, Steph was named on the BusinessCloud Northern Leaders list and in 2025 Steph was added to the prestigious Northern Power Women Power List.

What we talk about:
01:48 – Steph shares the story behind her book A Little Book of Leadership Lessons.

02:38 – Growing up Black and female: Steph talks about navigating identity and expectations.

09:07 – The real roots of imposter syndrome and how it’s not just in your head.

14:55 – Steph reflects on how burnout and illness forced her to re-evaluate her identity and leadership.

30:14 – The mic-drop question: “If you believed you have always been enough, what would you do differently?”

Follow Steph on social media:  
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/stephedusei/  
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/steph-edusei/ 
Website - www.stephedusei.co.uk (live very soon)
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/steph.edusei.leadership 
Get Steph’s Book - https://amzn.to/44jWTKD (also available at load of other bookshops)
 
Follow Michelle on social media:  
Website - https://www.michelleminnikin.com/  
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mminnikin/  
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/goodgirldeprogramming  
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleminnikin
Buy Good Girl Deprogramming
Ebook and Paperback available at all good bookshops (and Amazon - https://amzn.to/3AQHuFf) 
Audible - https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/B0D9MKBDBW/?source_code=AUKFrDlWS02231890H6-BK-ACX0-406719&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_406719_rh_uk 
Take the Good Girl Quiz
Find out if you’re a Good Girl at https://goodgirlquiz.co.uk/ 
If you enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends!

Episode 28 - Resist. Speak Up. Do Good with Marion Anderson
Marion Anderson is a Scottish expat living in North West Arkansas, the Co-founder and CEO of The Fearless PX, and co-host of The Elephant in the Org podcast—where workplace taboos get the airtime they deserve. Currently pursuing a PhD, her research dives into psychological safety and how companies are (or aren’t) getting it right when it comes to remote, hybrid, and return-to-office policies. When not debating the future of work, she’s a devoted dog parent to Jack and Talisker—the latter named after her favorite Scottish whisky, of course. Expect hot takes, humor, and just the right amount of rebellion.

What we talk about:
01:48 – Growing up in 1980s West of Scotland: poverty, violence, and early caregiving

03:36 – The strategic good girl: how conditioning served and harmed

04:04 – Rebellion in HR: rejecting outdated norms and using data-driven influence

05:59 – Class trauma, food insecurity, and safety behaviours that linger

07:18 – Avoiding more dangerous paths: controlled rebellion and survival

08:42 – Caring for her father through illness and dementia from a young age

10:15 – Making the impossible decision to place her dad in care

14:16 – Grieving through dementia: ongoing loss and emotional suppression

19:06 – Burnout in the Middle East: filling the void with work and others’ problems

19:41 – Complex PTSD and the realisation of deep emotional damage

21:16 – The origin of Marion’s PhD: why workplace inclusion for carers matters

24:23 – The George Banks problem: work built for men, not women

25:23 – Elon, inequality, and the illusion of meritocracy

27:59 – The cost of existing and how working class women are punished

28:36 – Living in the US South: brainwashing, amnesia, and resistance

31:23 – The call to arms: speak up, be a nasty woman, use your power

33:01 – Research as resistance: how people still want to be heard

37:42 – Why psychological safety must not be the next DEI casualty

39:50 – The business case is clear—but control and conformity are rising

40:47 – Final words: resist, speak up, do good—because it’s the right thing

Follow Marion on social media:  
Linkedin  - https://www.linkedin.com/in/marionandersonpx/ 
Elephant in the Org - https://theelephantintheorg.buzzsprout.com/ 
The Fearless PX - https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-fearless-px  
Follow Michelle on social media:  
Website - https://www.michelleminnikin.com/  
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mminnikin/  
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/goodgirldeprogramming  
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleminnikin
Buy Good Girl Deprogramming
Ebook and Paperback available at all good bookshops (and Amazon - https://amzn.to/3AQHuFf) 
Audible - https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/B0D9MKBDBW/?source_code=AUKFrDlWS02231890H6-BK-ACX0-406719&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_406719_rh_uk 
Take the Good Girl Quiz
Find out if you’re a Good Girl at https://goodgirlquiz.co.uk/ 
If you enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends!