Grief 2 Growth

You’ve been there. Someone you care about has just lost a person they love, and you freeze. You want to say the right thing, so you say “I’m sorry for your loss,” or you say nothing at all.
In this episode, pediatric thanatologist Emilio Parga gives you something better. After 24 years of guiding children, teens, families, schools, workplaces, and athletic teams through loss, he shares simple, practical words you can use today. You’ll hear why talking about death is a skill you can learn, why a one-minute text can mean more than you think, and why you never have to be afraid of saying a person’s name.
We also talk about the children who are too often overlooked, the siblings Emilio calls “the forgotten mourners,” and what it really means to move forward with your grief instead of moving on from it.
About Emilio Parga
Emilio Parga is a pediatric thanatologist and the leader of The Solace Tree, a nonprofit that has supported children, teens, and adults from ages 3 to 93 for 24 years. A former teacher, special needs educator, adaptive PE teacher, coach, and school counselor, Emilio has made it his life’s work to teach the adults around grieving kids, including parents, teachers, coaches, and entire companies, how to stop going silent and start showing up. The Solace Tree offers weekly family support, a grief camp for kids at Lake Tahoe, and national Zoom groups, including groups focused on suicide loss and groups for men.
🔗 The Solace Tree: https://www.solacetree.org
In this episode, you’ll hear:
✨ What to say instead of “I’m sorry for your loss,” and why asking “What was their name?” opens the door
 ✨ Why siblings are the “forgotten mourners” and how to help them feel seen
 ✨ Why kids and teens often hide their grief, and why peer support matters
 ✨ How to keep showing up long after the first year, with a one-minute text or a reminder in your phone
 ✨ How seasons, anniversaries, and favorite times of year can bring grief rushing back
 ✨ How to offer specific help instead of “let me know if you need anything”
 ✨ Why Emilio and Brian prefer “moving forward” and “moving together” to “moving on”
 ✨ What the Girl Scouts taught Emilio about disenfranchised grief, from great-grandmothers to a beloved pet goat
Memorable moments
💬 “What’s mentionable is manageable,” the idea Emilio carries from Mr. Rogers into his work
 💬 Why most people light up when you ask about their loved one
 💬 The one question Emilio suggests when you get awkward: “What’s one funny thing about them?”
Now it’s your turn
💜 What resonated with you most in this conversation?
 💜 Who in your life could use a one-minute “I’ve been thinking about you” this week?
 💜 What is one thing you wish someone had said to you after your loss?
Share your thoughts in the comments on the companion article at grief2growth.substack.com. I read every one, and your story may be exactly what another listener needs to hear.
Connect with Brian
🔗 All my links: https://pages.grief2growth.com/profile
📰 Email list: https://pages.grief2growth.com/join-the-club
⏰ Free consult: https://grief2growth.as.me/30-minute-consult
You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place.
Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. 
I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you.
All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money.
https://grief2g
Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth.
I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them.

https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons
Support the show
🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me
👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes)
📰 Get A Free Gift
📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call
📈 Leave A Review

Thanks so much for your support

What if nothing is wrong with you because your grief hasn't "resolved"? 🌱
Autism and grief is a conversation that rarely gets space, and in this episode Christopher Carazas gives it room. Chris was diagnosed as autistic in 2020, after he had already built the life he thought he was supposed to want. Soon after, he lost his marriage, his home, and his sense of who he was. Later, he lost Katie, the woman who helped him begin to heal.
Chris doesn't tie his story up with a bow, and neither do we. You'll hear what grief looks like when you process the world differently, why the "triumph over tragedy" story can leave you feeling like you're failing, and how to carry grief without pretending it will ever be neat.
If you've been told you should be further along by now, this conversation is for you. If you love someone who is neurodivergent and grieving, you'll leave knowing how to show up for them. 💛
In this episode, you'll hear:
✨ Why closure is a myth, and what grief looks like when it becomes part of you
 ✨ How autism and grief can collide, from rumination to struggling to cry
 ✨ Why Chris pushes back on the "survival as redemption arc" story
 ✨ How to grieve the future you imagined, and shift from "why me?" to "why for me?"
 ✨ The backpack of stones, and why the weight changes even when it never leaves
 ✨ Katie's hidden notes, and how Chris uses them when old voices get loud
 ✨ What Chris's lighthouse is, and how it guides his days
 ✨ Simple, powerful ways to support a neurodivergent friend or family member in grief
About Christopher Carazas
Christopher Carazas is a social impact strategist and the author of Now That I'm Still Here: A Memoir of Ruin and Resurrection. Through his Substack newsletter of the same name, he writes about survival, storytelling, mental health, humor, and hope after ruin. His work lives at the intersection of grief, neurodivergence, and the long, unglamorous aftermath of psychological trauma.
Connect with Chris
📚 Website and book: https://www.chriscarazas.com
 📰 Substack: https://ccarazas.substack.com
 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/christopher.carazas.2025
 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/christophercarazas
What resonated with you?
💭 Have you ever wondered why you weren't crying, and whether that meant you didn't love them enough?
 💭 What would it change if you stopped waiting for closure and started building a life around your grief?
 💭 What is your lighthouse right now?
Share your thoughts in the comments on the companion article and join the conversation with me and other listeners: https://grief2growth.substack.com
💜 If this episode touched you, share it with one person who needs to hear they're not behind.
🔔 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth so you never miss an episode.
You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place.
Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. 
I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you.
All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money.
https://grief2g
Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth.
I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them.

https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons
Support the show
🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me
👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes)
📰 Get A Free Gift
📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call
📈 Leave A Review

Thanks so much for your support

What if grief isn’t only something we survive—but something that reveals how deeply we’ve loved?
In this episode of Grief 2 Growth, I sit down with Carl Manlan, author of I Can Breathe, for a powerful conversation about grief, fatherhood, emotional healing, identity, and legacy.
Carl lost his father as a young man. Years later, becoming a father himself brought some of that grief back to the surface and raised a profound question: How do you become the father you want to be when you can no longer have those conversations with your own father?
We also explore something many men struggle to discuss: expressing emotions and asking for help. As two Black men raised in different parts of the world, Carl and I discovered surprising similarities in how we experienced love growing up—and how we're trying to do things differently with the next generation.
Carl also shares how unexpectedly losing his job became a turning point that helped him finish I Can Breathe.
One insight captures the heart of our conversation:
“You only experience grief because you loved.”
In this episode, we explore:
• Grieving a parent and carrying that relationship forward
• Men, vulnerability, counseling, and emotional health
• Separating your identity from your career
• Responding instead of reacting to life's challenges
• Raising emotionally aware children
• Turning loss into legacy
• The story behind Carl’s I Can Breathe
📖 Carl’s book: I Can Breathe — available on Amazon
🔗 Connect with Carl: LinkedIn and Instagram
💬 Continue the conversation:
https://grief2growth.substack.com
What part of Carl’s story resonated with you? Join us on Substack and share your experience with the Grief 2 Growth community.
You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place.
Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. 
I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you.
All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money.
https://grief2g
Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth.
I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them.

https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons
Support the show
🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me
👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes)
📰 Get A Free Gift
📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call
📈 Leave A Review

Thanks so much for your support

What if the memories of someone you love had a real place to live, and you could walk through them whenever you needed to?

In this episode, I talk with architect Alexander Josephson about how to preserve memories of a loved one, and why grief may be something you move through rather than something you get over.

Alexander is the founder of Partisans, an award-winning design studio in Toronto. While sitting in a hospital room with his father, he listened to him dictate what he wanted on his tombstone, and realized a name and two dates were far too small for the story. That moment led him to build Cumulus, a living digital memorial you can add to, share with family, and return to for years.

I also talk about my daughter Shayna, who passed in 2015, and why I have never wanted her to be tied to one location. If you carry the fear that someone you love will be forgotten, or you have wondered where they are now, this conversation is for you.

In this episode, you'll discover:

✨ Why the "three deaths" idea makes community and storytelling so important
✨ How a $3 million tomb that was never built became a living, breathing memorial
✨ Why the body is temporary and the memories are what carry meaning
✨ How one family invited 90 people into a shared cloud, with pins from a golf course in Scotland to the middle of the Atlantic
✨ Why cemeteries can feel so disorienting, and where our loved ones are
✨ How a digital stone at a grave can bring their story to you with a tap of your phone

About Alexander Josephson:
Alexander Josephson is an architect and the founder of Partisans, an award-winning design studio in Toronto. He is also the founder of Cumulus, a digital memorial platform designed to hold the photos, stories, voices, and memories of the people we love. He is a new father to two daughters under two, and he is already making time capsules for them in his own Cumulus.

Links and resources:
Cumulus website: https://cumulus.world
Cumulus Companion app: search "Cumulus Companion" in the App Store or Google Play
Instagram: Cumulus World
Try Cumulus free on the app or the website.

Join the conversation:
Read the companion article and share your thoughts at https://grief2growth.substack.com

What resonated with you? Tell me in the comments:
💜 Who do you want to make sure is remembered, and what story would you want to keep?
💜 When you think of your loved one, where do you feel them?
💜 What is one memory you could add to a shared space today?

If this episode touched you, please share it with someone who is carrying a loss, and subscribe so you never miss a conversation.

– – – Let's Connect: – – –

🔗 All my links: https://pages.grief2growth.com/profile
🔗 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/grief2growth
👛 Tip jar: https://www.grief2growth.com/tipjar
📰 Email list: https://pages.grief2growth.com/join-the-club
⏰ Free consult: https://grief2growth.as.me/30-minute-consult
You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place.
Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. 
I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you.
All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money.
https://grief2g
Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth.
I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them.

https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons
Support the show
🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me
👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes)
📰 Get A Free Gift
📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call
📈 Leave A Review

Thanks so much for your support

What if your body isn't broken — it's trying to tell you something?
In this episode of Grief 2 Growth, Brian sits down with Dr. Karyn Shanks, a physician who spent over 40 years learning what medical school never taught her — including from her own chronic illness journey. Together, they explore why grief and trauma get physically stored in the body, why our medical system struggles to treat chronic illness, and why feeling truly seen may matter more to healing than any prescription.
About Dr. Karyn Shanks:
Karyn Shanks, MD is a physician-healer-teacher-writer based in Iowa City, board-certified in Internal Medicine and Functional Medicine. After her own decades-long journey through Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and Lyme encephalitis, she founded the Unbroken Academy and developed a framework built on epigenetics, neuroplasticity, systems-based functional medicine, and transformational psychology. She's trained in Dr. Gabor Maté's Compassionate Inquiry, and is the author of UnBroken: Reclaim Your Wholeness and HEAL: A Nine-Stage Roadmap to Recover Energy.
🔗 Website: karynshanksmd.com
Key topics covered:
Why grief is a "huge part of the human experience" that shows up physically in the body
Karyn's own health journey — from unexplained fatigue to an Ehlers-Danlos diagnosis to recovering from Lyme encephalitis
Why Western medicine excels at acute, catastrophic care but struggles with chronic illness
Epigenetics and neuroplasticity — why your biology isn't fixed
The placebo effect as proof of the mind's power to heal the body
What Compassionate Inquiry (Gabor Maté's framework) taught Karyn about trauma and self-compassion
Why grief gets "stored in the body" and has to be worked through, not medicated away
Why we're ashamed of grief, and how "get back to work" culture cuts healing short
Reframing illness as wisdom and communication, not failure or fault
💬 What resonated with you? Head over to grief2growth.substack.com to share your thoughts and continue the conversation.
You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place.
Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. 
I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you.
All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money.
https://grief2g
Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth.
I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them.

https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons
Support the show
🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me
👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes)
📰 Get A Free Gift
📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call
📈 Leave A Review

Thanks so much for your support