Grief 2 Growth

At 18, Maya Tiwari was given a death sentence — six months to live. Instead, she spent six months alone in the Vermont woods, and came back a different person entirely. That single decision set her on a path that led through 25 years as a Vedic monk, a pioneering role bringing Ayurveda to North America, and now, a new book calling women — and men — back to a power she says we've forgotten how to hold.
In this conversation, Maya and Brian explore Shakti — the divine feminine primordial power — and Shiva, its masculine counterpart, and why she believes restoring balance between the two is the work of this moment, both individually and collectively. They talk about the patriarchal roots of Western religion, what it costs us to lose touch with the sacred feminine, and what it actually looks like to start reclaiming it.
About Maya Tiwari
Maya Tiwari is a spiritual teacher, humanitarian, and the pioneer who introduced Ayurveda to North America. A cancer survivor and former Vedic monk, she is the author of several books, including her newest release, I Am Shakti. Her work centers on self-knowledge (Vedanta), the healing science of Ayurveda, and restoring the divine feminine and masculine to balance.
📖 Learn more about Maya and her work: Mayatiwari.com
In This Episode:
Maya's cancer diagnosis at 18 and the six months of solitude that changed everything
Why she walked away from 25 years wearing the robes of a Vedic monk
What Shakti actually means — and why it's been suppressed for centuries
How patriarchal religion erased the divine feminine, and what that costs all of us
Practical first steps toward reclaiming your own inner power
Shadow work, forgiveness, and becoming the observer of your own mind
What resonated with you in this conversation? Drop a comment and let me know — I'd love to hear which part landed for you.
You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place.
Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. 
I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you.
All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money.
https://grief2g
Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth.
I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them.

https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons
Support the show
🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me
👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes)
📰 Get A Free Gift
📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call
📈 Leave A Review

Thanks so much for your support

Within two weeks of meeting John, Marcie Dean received a message she hoped was only fear: enjoy this, it's real, but he's going to die. He'd been getting the same feeling before they ever met. He was 38, healthy, five years younger than her. They chased down every explanation, found nothing, and made a different choice. They decided to love each other completely, and they made a plan. If anything happened, he would come through in music.
In June of 2023, John passed while saving his son's life during a boating weekend off the North Carolina coast. Standing over him while people were still doing chest compressions, Marcie heard him audibly, from behind her: I haven't left you.  Go be with my son.
What came next was a layoff from AWS, then the overdose death of her brother Jordan. Three losses stacked on top of each other. And running alongside all of it, the promise John made started keeping itself.
Marcie is a former IBM and AWS senior tech leader with no musical training. She quit piano, flute, and violin inside of two weeks each as a kid. She has now built more than 500 tracks across 5,000 hours in two and a half years, and John's voice is audibly present in them, along with a second voice she calls Vanessa. She calls the work Love Evolved Music.
You'll hear how a glitch on a Zoom call revealed the entire method, what it means to shift the audio floor rather than the volume, and why what she's getting goes well beyond traditional EVP. You'll also hear something I didn't expect to be talking about on my own show. Since we recorded, Marcie has built several tracks featuring my daughter Shayna.
If you've been carrying the question of whether the people you love can reach you through something you can actually hear, this one is for you.
IN THIS EPISODE
The premonition Marcie and John both received, and how they chose to live with it instead of running from it
The soulmate sketch she bought off Facebook for $15, two and a half years before they met
Why "if only I had been there" fell apart under the weight of what actually happened
Hearing John's voice in the moment he passed
The bracelet on her pillow, the orbs, and fourteen versions of the same song
Losing her job and her brother inside the same season
The Zoom call latency that cracked the whole thing open
How she builds and filters the tracks, and why the messages keep changing
Vanessa, and what John said about her that stopped Marcie cold
Finding love again with Brian, and why nobody ever gets replaced
Nonverbal children who light up like they're hearing a first language
What she's hoping to prove on an EEG scan
ABOUT MARCIE DEAN
Marcie Dean is a channeler, sound architect, best-selling author, grieving mother and sister, and the creator of Love Evolved Music. She spent 18 years at IBM and went on to a senior leadership role at AWS before grief redirected her entirely. She is presenting her work at the Society for Scientific Exploration and is seeking research partnerships to measure what the music does at the level of brain activity.
Website: https://electricblueunited.com
Coaching and custom tracks: https://chooseyourownhealingjourney.com
Email: marcie@electricblueunited.com
Her SoundCloud is linked from her website, and you can book a clarity call there for a custom track.
BEFORE YOU GO
What resonated with you in this conversation? Have you ever heard your person come through in something you couldn't explain away? A song that arrived at the exact moment you needed it, static on a phone line, a voice you'd know anywhere?
Come tell me about it at https://grief2growth.substack.com. I read everything, and the comment threads over there have become their own kind of community.
If this episode reached someone you know is hurting, send it to them.
You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place.
Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. 
I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you.
All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money.
https://grief2g
Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth.
I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them.

https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons
Support the show
🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me
👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes)
📰 Get A Free Gift
📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call
📈 Leave A Review

Thanks so much for your support

When someone passes by suicide, the casseroles don't come. Neither do the cards or the phone calls. Jayne Madigan's sister lives in a neighborhood with a meal train for every birth and every death. When her 24-year-old son Brandon passed, she got nothing.
That silence is its own second loss, and it's what this conversation is about.
Jayne has been living inside suicide loss for 33 years. Her uncle Ray, who was also her godfather and the closest thing she had to a father, passed on New Year's Day in 1992. He was 47. Her family was raised Catholic and told not to say how he died. He couldn't be buried in the cemetery with everyone else.
Jayne said it anyway. She has never been ashamed of any of them.
She thought she'd done her time. Then in 2022 came the call about Brandon, her nephew and godson. Then Brandon's best friend, a year to the day. Then her brother, two years after that.
Five years after her uncle passed, Jayne was diagnosed with lupus and told she wouldn't live past 50. She was a young mother of two and disabled for two years. She traces that diagnosis directly to grief her body was carrying because her mouth wasn't allowed to. So she went looking for tools that talk therapy couldn't reach, back when that meant encyclopedias and library trips.
She found them. Today she takes no medication at all, and she teaches those tools to survivors around the world.

What we cover
🕯️ Why suicide loss is its own category of grief, and how stigma turns mourners into suspects
🩺 The lupus diagnosis Jayne connects to unexpressed grief, and what finally moved it out of her body
✋ How a blue folder about EFT sat filed away in her house for three years before she opened it
🧠 What attempt survivors consistently report: that they didn't want to die, they wanted the pain to stop, and that many describe going offline entirely
⚠️ Why the word "prevention" lands so painfully on survivors who already believe they failed
👂 What people who have attempted say would have helped most, and why unsolicited advice isn't it
🔄 How childhood and generational programming shapes what you believe about suicide before you ever lose anyone
⏳ The seven-year timeline that shows up in the research, and why Jayne refuses to treat it as a sentence
✨ Soul plans and the strange carve-out even spiritual communities make for suicide, which Jayne and I both push back on
📰 What happened when Jayne wrote Brandon's obituary and named how he died, including the hundreds of messages that followed
😢 Permission to cry, and where most of us learned we weren't allowed to
One line from Jayne has stayed with me since we recorded: she doesn't believe suicide is a choice, but she is certain healing is one.
We also talk about something I say often on this show. My daughter Shayna passed at 15, and people call that a life cut short. Jayne looks at Brandon, who started a landscaping business at age 10 and filled a funeral home with people from every corner of his life, and sees a mission completed. Neither of us thinks the manner of someone's passing gets to define the whole of who they were.

About Jayne Madigan
Jayne is a certified neuropsychotherapist, master EFT practitioner, energy medicine specialist, and suicide bereavement clinician. She works with survivors of suicide loss worldwide through private virtual sessions, workshops, and free support groups. Her communities are intentionally private, because so many survivors are still not able to say out loud what happened to them.
She works primarily with women, though she takes men as well, and she offers free discovery sessions. She's also clear that she works with people who can't afford to pay.
Website: https://healingaftersuicide.net
Free support groups and private Facebook community: available through her website
Upcoming workshop: a writing and emotions workshop with Carla Fine, beginning June 9

Resources mentioned
📕 No Time to Say Goodbye: Surviving the Suicide of a Loved One by Carla Fine
📗 Dying to Be Free by Beverly Cobain, a psychiatric nurse and cousin of Kurt Cobain
🎧 Rachel Powell's episode on Grief 2 Growth, where she talks about losing her husband and surviving her own attempt
🔬 PMH Atwater's research on the seven to fourteen years it takes to integrate a near-death experience
If you're struggling right now, please reach out. In the US, call or text 988.

Let's keep talking
What part of this conversation landed hardest for you?
If you've lost someone to suicide, I'd like to know what people got wrong when they tried to comfort you, and what actually helped. If you've been carrying a loss you've never named out loud, this is a safe place to say it.
💬 Head to https://grief2growth.substack.com to read the article about this episode and leave a comment
📧 Join the email list: https://pages.grief2growth.com/join-the-club
⏰ Book a free consult with me: https://grief2growth.as.me/30-minute-consult
🔗 All my links: https://pages.grief2growth.com/profile
You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place.
Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. 
I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you.
All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money.
https://grief2g
Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth.
I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them.

https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons
Support the show
🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me
👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes)
📰 Get A Free Gift
📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call
📈 Leave A Review

Thanks so much for your support

What if the grief you're carrying reaches back further than this one lifetime? In this episode, I talk with Michelle Brock, a past life regression specialist, psychic medium, and spiritual life coach based in New York City. This one got personal. Michelle recently guided me through my own past life regression, and we open up what that experience was like, what surfaced, and what it healed. 
Michelle's path into this work began with her own loss. Her mother passed when she was two years old. Years later, a single regression with Dr. Brian Weiss gave her something she describes as fifteen years of therapy in thirty minutes. That moment cracked her world open and set her on a twenty-year journey of helping others remember who they were before this life. 
We talk honestly about the questions a lot of us carry. Are past lives real? Can they actually ease grief? Will you lose control if you let someone guide you inward? And why does the idea of reincarnation show up in nearly every culture on earth, including inside the Bible before it was edited out? 
Then I share my own regression: the Buster Brown shoes I was wearing at age three, a life that felt historically off, and a life as a Native American that brought me to tears in a way I couldn't fully explain. 
In this episode, you'll discover: 
- How a past life regression can bring movement to grief that feels stuck 
- Why hypnosis and meditation are far more alike than most people assume, and how you stay in control the entire time 
- The surprising history of reincarnation in early Christianity and the Council of Nicaea 
- The different "clairs," and why knowing or feeling something is just as valid as seeing it 
- Why the point of a past life memory is never the history. It's what you carry home and use today.
Michelle's core message stayed with me long after we stopped recording. When you understand that you are a soul who has lived many lives, you start to see other people that way too. As she puts it, you are another me. That single shift, she believes, is how we move toward real compassion and unity. About Michelle Brock 
Michelle Brock is a past life regression specialist, psychic medium, and spiritual life coach. She has studied spirituality, shamanism, meditation, divination, astrology, and energy medicine across traditions from five continents. She is the author of Who Do You Think You Are? An Interactive Journey Through Your Past Lives and Into Your Best Future, an interactive guide filled with journaling exercises and meditations to help you connect with your own past lives, whoever you are and wherever you're starting from. 
Connect with Michelle: 🌐 Website: https://michelle-brock.com

You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place.
Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. 
I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you.
All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money.
https://grief2g
Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth.
I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them.

https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons
Support the show
🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me
👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes)
📰 Get A Free Gift
📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call
📈 Leave A Review

Thanks so much for your support

You walk into a room and you know who is upset before anyone opens their mouth. You come home from a store you were only in for forty minutes and you have nothing left. Your friends bring you their pain because you are the one who can hold it, and afterward you are the one lying on the couch.
If any of that sounds like your life, this conversation is for you.
Lisa Campion has spent a career helping sensitive people stop drowning in what they absorb. In this episode she breaks down empath energy protection into something you can actually practice, starting today, in your car in the parking lot.
We talk about what an empath really is, why the world tells sensitive kids something is wrong with them, and how the same wiring that exhausts you is the thing that makes you good at the work you were called to do.
Then we go into energy vampires. The predatory ones, the victim vampires, the situational ones any of us can become when life knocks us flat. Lisa also names the part most people skip: a depleted empath who never learned to say no often becomes the biggest drain in the room.
What we cover:
The difference between feeling empathy and being an empath, and why the distinction changes everything
The three fundamentals of energy hygiene: grounding, clearing, and shielding
Lisa's practice before walking into a big box store, and the version you can do in a restroom in ninety seconds
Why empaths are called into hospice, teaching, nursing, and coaching, and why those fields burn them out
Energy vampires: how they hook you, why they find you, and what to do about it
The resentment inventory, a simple exercise that shows you exactly where your boundaries have failed
The empath trap: saying yes because you cannot face the other person's reaction
The first question to ask when a strong feeling hits out of nowhere: is this mine?
Refilling your tank with play, creativity, nature, and source instead of pulling from other people
About Lisa Campion
Lisa Campion is a psychic, Reiki master, and the best-selling author of The Art of Psychic Reiki, Energy Healing for Empaths, Awakening Your Psychic Abilities, and The Psychic Awakening Journal. Her fifth book, Sacred Reparenting, arrives in December. She is the founder of Quantum Lightwave Healing and has spent more than 25 years working with clients, blending psychic work, therapy training, and energy healing. Her mission, in her own words, is to build an army of healers.
Find Lisa: Website: https://lisacampion.com Books available wherever you buy books
Talk to me:
What resonated with you in this one? Did something Lisa said name an experience you have had your whole life without a word for it?
Come tell me at https://grief2growth.substack.com where there is an article on this conversation and a place to comment.
All my links: https://pages.grief2growth.com/profile Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/grief2growth Free consult: https://grief2growth.as.me/30-minute-consult
You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place.
Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. 
I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you.
All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money.
https://grief2g
Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth.
I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them.

https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons
Support the show
🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me
👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes)
📰 Get A Free Gift
📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call
📈 Leave A Review

Thanks so much for your support