Grief 2 Growth

What if grief isn’t only something we survive—but something that reveals how deeply we’ve loved?
In this episode of Grief 2 Growth, I sit down with Carl Manlan, author of I Can Breathe, for a powerful conversation about grief, fatherhood, emotional healing, identity, and legacy.
Carl lost his father as a young man. Years later, becoming a father himself brought some of that grief back to the surface and raised a profound question: How do you become the father you want to be when you can no longer have those conversations with your own father?
We also explore something many men struggle to discuss: expressing emotions and asking for help. As two Black men raised in different parts of the world, Carl and I discovered surprising similarities in how we experienced love growing up—and how we're trying to do things differently with the next generation.
Carl also shares how unexpectedly losing his job became a turning point that helped him finish I Can Breathe.
One insight captures the heart of our conversation:
“You only experience grief because you loved.”
In this episode, we explore:
• Grieving a parent and carrying that relationship forward
• Men, vulnerability, counseling, and emotional health
• Separating your identity from your career
• Responding instead of reacting to life's challenges
• Raising emotionally aware children
• Turning loss into legacy
• The story behind Carl’s I Can Breathe
📖 Carl’s book: I Can Breathe — available on Amazon
🔗 Connect with Carl: LinkedIn and Instagram
💬 Continue the conversation:
https://grief2growth.substack.com
What part of Carl’s story resonated with you? Join us on Substack and share your experience with the Grief 2 Growth community.
You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place.
Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. 
I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you.
All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money.
https://grief2g
Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth.
I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them.

https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons
Support the show
🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me
👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes)
📰 Get A Free Gift
📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call
📈 Leave A Review

Thanks so much for your support

What if the memories of someone you love had a real place to live, and you could walk through them whenever you needed to?

In this episode, I talk with architect Alexander Josephson about how to preserve memories of a loved one, and why grief may be something you move through rather than something you get over.

Alexander is the founder of Partisans, an award-winning design studio in Toronto. While sitting in a hospital room with his father, he listened to him dictate what he wanted on his tombstone, and realized a name and two dates were far too small for the story. That moment led him to build Cumulus, a living digital memorial you can add to, share with family, and return to for years.

I also talk about my daughter Shayna, who passed in 2015, and why I have never wanted her to be tied to one location. If you carry the fear that someone you love will be forgotten, or you have wondered where they are now, this conversation is for you.

In this episode, you'll discover:

✨ Why the "three deaths" idea makes community and storytelling so important
✨ How a $3 million tomb that was never built became a living, breathing memorial
✨ Why the body is temporary and the memories are what carry meaning
✨ How one family invited 90 people into a shared cloud, with pins from a golf course in Scotland to the middle of the Atlantic
✨ Why cemeteries can feel so disorienting, and where our loved ones are
✨ How a digital stone at a grave can bring their story to you with a tap of your phone

About Alexander Josephson:
Alexander Josephson is an architect and the founder of Partisans, an award-winning design studio in Toronto. He is also the founder of Cumulus, a digital memorial platform designed to hold the photos, stories, voices, and memories of the people we love. He is a new father to two daughters under two, and he is already making time capsules for them in his own Cumulus.

Links and resources:
Cumulus website: https://cumulus.world
Cumulus Companion app: search "Cumulus Companion" in the App Store or Google Play
Instagram: Cumulus World
Try Cumulus free on the app or the website.

Join the conversation:
Read the companion article and share your thoughts at https://grief2growth.substack.com

What resonated with you? Tell me in the comments:
💜 Who do you want to make sure is remembered, and what story would you want to keep?
💜 When you think of your loved one, where do you feel them?
💜 What is one memory you could add to a shared space today?

If this episode touched you, please share it with someone who is carrying a loss, and subscribe so you never miss a conversation.

– – – Let's Connect: – – –

🔗 All my links: https://pages.grief2growth.com/profile
🔗 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/grief2growth
👛 Tip jar: https://www.grief2growth.com/tipjar
📰 Email list: https://pages.grief2growth.com/join-the-club
⏰ Free consult: https://grief2growth.as.me/30-minute-consult
You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place.
Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. 
I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you.
All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money.
https://grief2g
Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth.
I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them.

https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons
Support the show
🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me
👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes)
📰 Get A Free Gift
📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call
📈 Leave A Review

Thanks so much for your support

What if your body isn't broken — it's trying to tell you something?
In this episode of Grief 2 Growth, Brian sits down with Dr. Karyn Shanks, a physician who spent over 40 years learning what medical school never taught her — including from her own chronic illness journey. Together, they explore why grief and trauma get physically stored in the body, why our medical system struggles to treat chronic illness, and why feeling truly seen may matter more to healing than any prescription.
About Dr. Karyn Shanks:
Karyn Shanks, MD is a physician-healer-teacher-writer based in Iowa City, board-certified in Internal Medicine and Functional Medicine. After her own decades-long journey through Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and Lyme encephalitis, she founded the Unbroken Academy and developed a framework built on epigenetics, neuroplasticity, systems-based functional medicine, and transformational psychology. She's trained in Dr. Gabor Maté's Compassionate Inquiry, and is the author of UnBroken: Reclaim Your Wholeness and HEAL: A Nine-Stage Roadmap to Recover Energy.
🔗 Website: karynshanksmd.com
Key topics covered:
Why grief is a "huge part of the human experience" that shows up physically in the body
Karyn's own health journey — from unexplained fatigue to an Ehlers-Danlos diagnosis to recovering from Lyme encephalitis
Why Western medicine excels at acute, catastrophic care but struggles with chronic illness
Epigenetics and neuroplasticity — why your biology isn't fixed
The placebo effect as proof of the mind's power to heal the body
What Compassionate Inquiry (Gabor Maté's framework) taught Karyn about trauma and self-compassion
Why grief gets "stored in the body" and has to be worked through, not medicated away
Why we're ashamed of grief, and how "get back to work" culture cuts healing short
Reframing illness as wisdom and communication, not failure or fault
💬 What resonated with you? Head over to grief2growth.substack.com to share your thoughts and continue the conversation.
You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place.
Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. 
I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you.
All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money.
https://grief2g
Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth.
I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them.

https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons
Support the show
🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me
👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes)
📰 Get A Free Gift
📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call
📈 Leave A Review

Thanks so much for your support

What happens when the person you used to be doesn't exist anymore — not because they died, but because a diagnosis, a surgery, or a health crisis rewrote who you are? In this episode, Loni Fagel joins me to talk about a grief almost nobody names: the grief of losing yourself while you're still here.
Loni knows this from both sides of the therapy room. A genetic cancer mutation, a mysterious chronic illness, and a health crisis that landed her at Mayo Clinic didn't just interrupt her graduate studies in psychology — they became the reason she does this work at all. We talk about her "D-Day" framework for naming the moment a diagnosis changes everything, why medical trauma is as much about what comes after the event as the event itself, and why people are so often invalidated by the very doctors meant to help them.
We also get into some of the tools Loni uses with clients: externalizing an illness by giving it its own name, expressive arts as a way to process what words can't touch, and why "post-traumatic growth" doesn't mean pretending the hard part didn't happen.
About Loni Fagel
Loni Fagel is a licensed professional clinical counselor, EMDRIA-approved consultant, expressive arts therapist, children's book author, and international speaker specializing in medical trauma, grief, and identity loss. Her work is shaped by her own experience with a genetic cancer mutation and a health crisis that upended her life and career.
Website: lonifagel.com
Instagram/social: @loni_fagel
LinkedIn: search Loni Fagel
In this episode, we cover:
Why illness and diagnosis create a real, nameable grief
The "D-Day" framework for marking when everything changed
Why medical trauma isn't about the event — it's about everything after
Learning to advocate for yourself when doctors dismiss your symptoms
Grieving a double mastectomy and genetic cancer risk
Invisible illness and the cruelty of judging what you can't see
Naming your illness to protect your identity ("is this you, or is this Patricia?")
Making meaning without needing to believe "everything happens for a reason"
Finding the glimmers of light in the middle of a health crisis
We want to hear from you: Have you ever grieved a version of yourself you didn't expect to lose? What resonated most with you in this conversation? Drop a comment — we read every one.
Continue the conversation at grief2growth.substack.com.
You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place.
Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. 
I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you.
All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money.
https://grief2g
Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth.
I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them.

https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons
Support the show
🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me
👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes)
📰 Get A Free Gift
📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call
📈 Leave A Review

Thanks so much for your support

What if the "guardian angel" you've prayed to and the "spirit guide" you've been told to fear are the exact same presence, just described through a different lens?
In this episode, Brian sits down with Michael McAdams — a man raised in a family soaked in Pentecostal conviction who discovered he had the gift of psychometry, the ability to receive information simply by holding an object. Michael shares the story of his mother, Wilma Jean Jones, a devout Christian who sat down at her typewriter in 1977 and began receiving dictated messages from what she called "spirit teachers." Those sessions continued for 22 years and became the book An Angel Told Me So.
This conversation goes places you might not expect from two men raised in the church: the real story behind the money changers in the temple, why the Salem witch trials might have been genuine spiritual communication mistaken for evil, how the Urantia Book lines up with the Bible's account of Jesus, and why fear has been used for centuries to keep people from trusting their own spiritual experiences.
About Michael McAdams
Michael McAdams grew up in the Cincinnati area in a family steeped in Pentecostal faith — his uncle was a preacher who planted churches across three states, and his grandmother entered ministry convinced God spoke directly into her heart. Michael discovered his own gift of psychometry as a young man, and later helped his mother recognize and record the messages she was receiving from spirit teachers. He is the author of An Angel Told Me So and runs spiritspeaks.com, where he offers free preview messages from the upcoming second volume.
🌐 Website: spiritspeaks.com
📖 An Angel Told Me So (Volume One) — available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and through Ingram at independent bookstores
Key Topics Covered
Growing up Pentecostal and the questions neither of them could shake
What psychometry is and how Michael developed the ability
How Wilma Jean began receiving channeled messages — and the confirmation message that convinced her to publish them
The Urantia Book and its account of the life of Jesus
Why the Bible's history and politics matter for understanding what it actually says
Fear as a tool of control in organized religion
How to protect your mind while opening it — establishing a spiritual "filter"
Practical advice for recognizing your own spirit guidance
Reincarnation, "graduation" instead of death, and what may come next
What resonated with you? Drop a comment below — we'd love to hear whether this reframes anything about your own faith journey, or if you've had experiences like Michael's you've never shared before.
You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place.
Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. 
I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you.
All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money.
https://grief2g
Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth.
I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them.

https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons
Support the show
🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me
👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes)
📰 Get A Free Gift
📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call
📈 Leave A Review

Thanks so much for your support