Learning How To Be Old

• 25. Masters of downsizing in later life

  Are your parents ready for downsizing in later life? That's when it hits us. One day it could be our turn. My brain knows it's quite likely going to happen to me one day. That's something I find very hard to imagine and so I'm in denial for now. All the more reason to learn about the process. So I asked two people to tell me about it, both of whom are masters of downsizing in later life. Two movers with vast experience First I met with Judy McCallum, co-owner of Taskmasters, a company of organisers who operate in the North Island of Aotearoa, in the Bay of Plenty, and in Wellington, Wairarapa, and Kapiti. The staff of Taskmasters are all over 50, and have all seen their parents downsizing — so they have a very personal understanding of what it means to move house in later life. It's highly emotional stuff! Then I talked to Lindsay McCallum, who moved multiple times as a child and as a family man. He has worked out some highly efficient ways of managing moves, and has some great tips. The last time he moved, he was aged 90, and this time, he worked with Taskmasters to make it ultra-simple, in fact, almost painless. Tips on downsizing: you'll need them one day As always, we’re kind of accidentally practising all our lives for transition into old age and very old age. Helping your parents is like a rehearsal for that future event. I'll stack these tips on downsizing in my old age away in the back of my brain for the day when I can't manage the stairs in my apartment. Please enjoy the brilliant insights of my two guests, and a poem about my experience of moving over and over again when I was a child, one of six sisters. Links An early version of the poem "Thou house" Taskmasters New Zealand (a company that helps you to downsize) Annalisa Barbeiri's advice to the children of downsizable parents

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• 24. A lesson in falling safely with Simon Manns

  This podcast episode is all about a lesson in falling safely, especially in old age. You heard that right. Not preventing falls — which is crucial, but there’s already plenty of information and training available for preventing falls. No, this is about learning how to fall as safely as possible with minimal damage to our body and brain. Because sometimes everyone falls over. We trip, slip, tumble and lose our balance – especially in old age. And when you’re old, the consequences are usually more drastic than when you’re young and bouncy. So I called on Simon Manns, a stage fight director, to start training me to fall safely. Simon directs fight scenes for stage productions, which means he trains opera singers, dancers, circus performers and actors to fight realistically and safely on stage. As he says, they have to do their stage fight — and most likely fall over — five times a week and twice on Sunday, without hurting themselves. Listen as Simon talks about falling safely and start training me, step by step, starting on all fours. He explains and directs. I say "Whoosh!" and "Oops!" A pilot course in falling safely in Wellington, New Zealand Would you like to train your body to fall as safely as possible? In June 2025, Simon will run a pilot 6-session course on falling safely — in a room with crash mats, in Wellington, New Zealand. Numbers are limited (for safety, of course!) so if you are interested, please contact me or Simon by email: rachel <at> writing dot co dot nz or simon.swordplay <at> gmail.com ROMEO & JULIET | Fight & Combat with Simon Manns (Royal New Zealand Ballet) Staying safe from trips and falls (ACC) I wrote this two years ago: I need to learn to fall like a child.

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• 23. Mindful habits for now and later with Kerene Strochnetter

  Mindful habits help you to stay calm. Bring you back to reality when you feel confused. Fantastic now, crucial in old age. Listen if you might be old one day! Welcome back to Learning How To Be Old, with me, Rachel McAlpine. I’m 85, and with hindsight comes this insight. All our lives we’re accumulating habits that are going to have an impact on our future old age. Mindful habits will be exceptionally useful: the tiny habit of taking a moment to be mindful. They’ll help you every day. Especially if you’re always searching for your phone or compulsively checking things or getting anxious. Mindful habits are useful for CEOs and old people Today my guest is Kerene Strochnetter, a workplace mindfulness consultant based in Wellington. She works with leaders and leadership teams, "helping them ditch the corporate mask and lead with heart (without losing their edge)." And you know what? What’s good for the CEO (mindful habits) is also good for you and me, at any age — even more so in old age. And even CEOs will be old one day, if they’re lucky. In this episode you’ll get the gist of mindfulness not as an airy-fairy theory but as a practice, a daily routine, a set of simple habits of your own choice. Things you can do in half a minute, any time, on the spot. (Expect some odd anecdotes and noises in the mix. Some are intentional.) Crazy Busy: If busy is the new stupid, then mindful is the new smart, by Kerene Strochnetter The 5-Minute Meditator: How to relax your body and mind whenever you want to, by Eric Harrison (free PDF) The way of the walker: walking mindfully, A blog post on WriteIntoLife.com Forgot why you went downstairs? Try audible mindfulness: talking to yourself. A blog post on WriteIntoLife.com Meditation: the method is the medium. WriteIntoLife.com

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• 22. Aging the Māori way with guest Grace Hoete

  We can learn a lot about how to grow old from aging the Māori way. Welcome back to this podcast, Learning How To Be Old. Listen if you might be old one day ... even if you don’t believe that will ever happen. Today’s guest — and a fount of precious knowledge — is Grace Hoete. She is Senior Arts Advisor for the Wellington City Council and the manager of Toi Poneke. But I got to know Grace as an actor. In my last play, The Secret Lives of Extremely Old People, she played a 93-year-old Māori writer called Puti. Like all 5 characters in the play, Puti is an imaginary character but she speaks a true story based on the words and stories of people who were children in the 1930s. And that makes them different from you and me. Grace has known very old people who share many of Puti's life experiences, and she tells us a great deal about aging the Māori way. It’s fitting that she should share this knowledge in a podcast, with her glorious voice, and not in writing — because the Māori way of passing on knowledge is also oral. The podcast ends with a very old song in te reo, He Puti Puti Pai. The words were written in 1926 by Sir Apirana Ngati, and the Turakina Māori Girls College Choir recorded the song in 1978, as far as I can tell. Thanks to Viking Sevenseas for permission to share it in this episode about aging the Māori way. Two new productions of my play about the lives and thoughts of nonagenarians Auckland: from 2–6 April 2025 you can see The Secret Lives of Extremely Old People at the Dolphin Theatre in Onehunga. I’ll be there on the last afternoon for a Q&A session. Come along, do! Timaru: from 9–16 May the South Canterbury Drama League is showing the play, and I’ll be there on the 14th and 15th. Maybe we’ll meet: please introduce yourself! Kaumātua and their role. Te Ara, The Encyclopaedia of New Zealand Theatre Against Ageism and The Secret Lives of Extremely Old People (first production) Dolphin Theatre, Onehunga: The Secret Lives of Extremely Old People, 2–6 April 2025 South Canterbury Drama League, Timaru

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• 21. Managing friendships at all ages

  Pinky Agnew, a much-loved New Zealand comedian, entertainer, and funeral celebrant, talks with Rachel McAlpine (me) about managing friendships, especially in mid-life and old age. Midlife is a good time to consider your friendships and what lies ahead. Is fear of loneliness a factor in your private FOGO (Fear Of Getting Old)? "Managing friendships" is not just about avoiding loneliness, a known killer of old people — it includes backing away from friends who are no longer right for you, being friendly to strangers, maintaining good friendships when circumstances change, accepting the loss of some friends, and being open to unexpected friendships. Pinky has good tips on making new friends, dissolving friendships, how not to be a grumpy old bugger, and how to have 7 conversations a day. (She says that talking to a dog counts as a conversation, even if the dog does not talk back.) I finish with a poem: "How to make friends when you're old." Plenty to learn here about managing friendships, including from our best teachers: little children. How to make friends as a middle aged man, even if the idea makes you feel weird Ross McCammon Time Magazine. 2018 Annoying your friends An instant poem by me that I still find funny Cultivate women friends: a tiny tip for a happy healthy old age Simple as. Reposted from Margo's blog, date unknown

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