How To Love Yourself No Matter What

If you’re listening to this in January (or any other time of the year) and feeling heavy, flat, emotional, or quietly overwhelmed — this episode is for you.January 1st is supposed to feel hopeful. Fresh. Motivating.But for so many women, it actually brings pressure, comparison, and a deep sense of “I should be feeling better than I am.”In this episode, I’m unpacking why January 1st can feel so dysregulating — and why New Year’s resolutions often make things worse, not better.This isn’t about mindset failure or lack of discipline.It’s about conditioning, shame-based change, and a nervous system that’s been trained to scan for what’s missing.We’ll talk about:Why New Year’s resolutions are often fueled by shameHow performative change keeps you stuck in all-or-nothing cyclesWhy willpower always fails (and what actually works instead)The real reason behaviors like overeating, drinking, people-pleasing, or overworking don’t change through controlA gentler, more effective way to approach the new year without pressureHow self-concept and emotional safety create sustainable changePowerful reframes you can return to all year longInstead of asking “Who do I need to become this year?”I invite you to explore questions like:What would make me feel a little safer this year?What do I want more of emotionally, energetically, and relationally?What helps me come back to myself?You don’t need a big vision.You don’t need a perfect plan.And you don’t need to fix yourself.You just need to be willing to stay with yourself while this year unfolds.Mentioned in This EpisodeEpisode 293: You Are Not Who You Think You Are — How to Change Your Self-ConceptJoin the membership for a free week at 👉 joinamanda.ca(Includes coaching calls + an upcoming full class on self-concept)Book a private coaching discovery call at 👉 amandahess.ca/bookacallA Gentle ReminderYou don’t have to know where 2026 is going yet.You don’t have to feel motivated.And you don’t need a resolution to be worthy of change.What if this year was about trusting yourself instead of forcing yourself?What if your only intention was to love yourself — and be more you?I’m so glad you’re here.And I can’t wait to keep talking with you in 2026.

As the year comes to a close, many of us are taking stock — not just of what we did, but of who we believe we are.In this episode, we’re talking about self-concept: the thoughts and beliefs you hold about yourself, how they were formed, and how they quietly shape your emotions, relationships, and choices — often without you realizing it.So many of the things we believe about ourselves feel like facts… but they’re not. They’re thoughts — many of them inherited from childhood, authority figures, culture, or past experiences — and they can be changed.Inside this episode, I share:What self-concept actually is (and what it’s not)How early experiences shape the way we see ourselvesWhy “positive thinking” often backfiresA powerful question that opens a new path forward: Who would I be without this thought?How to shift self-judgment without forcing yourself to believe something that doesn’t feel trueWhy changing your self-concept isn’t about becoming someone else — it’s about freeing yourselfIf you’ve ever felt like you aren't capable of changing your life, this conversation offers a gentler, more empowering way to look at yourself — one that creates possibility instead of pressure.Work With MeIf you want support with this work:✨ Join my membershipYou can come into the community this week for a free 7-day trial. You’ll get access to:Weekly group coaching callsMy private daily podcast (500+ episodes)A supportive, thoughtful community of women doing this work togetherGo to joinamanda.ca to find out more.✨ 1:1 CoachingI currently have limited availability for private coaching.Book a discovery call here:👉 amandahess.ca/bookacallIf this episode resonated, I’d love to hear from you.You can find me on Instagram at @theamandahess — send me a DM and tell me what stood out.Whether you celebrate or not, I’m sending you so much love as this year comes to a close.You are not stuck. You are not broken.And you are allowed to change.

Feeling is part of being human. Suffering is not.In this episode, Amanda breaks down the crucial difference between feeling emotions and suffering because of them. You’ll hear a raw, honest reflection on what it’s like to try to “hold it all together,” why doing more never actually fixes emotional overwhelm, and how learning to slow down is the real way out of suffering.This episode is a reminder that you don’t need better tools, better behavior, or more discipline — you need to take your foot off the emotional gas.What You’ll LearnWhy 50% of life is always uncomfortable emotion (no matter how well you’re doing)The difference between feeling pain and creating sufferingHow “trying not to feel” actually extends sufferingWhy doing more, pushing harder, or expecting yourself to cope better doesn’t workThe compounding factors that turn pain into long-term sufferingWhat it really means to “take your foot off the emotional gas”Simple, practical ways to slow your nervous system in real timeHow to start asking yourself, “What do I need right now?” — and listening to the answerKey TakeawaysFeeling is inevitable. Suffering is optional.Pain happens. Hurt happens. Loss, rejection, and grief are real.Suffering comes from:JudgmentPressureEmotional accelerationNot slowing downNot regulating your nervous systemYou don’t need to fix yourself — you need to pauseSlowing down is not quitting; it’s leadershipSelf-trust is built in small percentages — 5%, then 10%, then morePractical Tools MentionedTaking your foot off the emotional gasRegulating through the senses:Look aroundNotice what you see, hear, smell, taste, touchBreathing and grounding (takes seconds, not minutes)Asking yourself:“What do I need in this moment?”Choosing support instead of speedMemorable Quote“Feeling is inevitable. Suffering is not.”Want This Kind of Support in Your Ear Every Day?If this episode resonated and you find yourself thinking, “I need more of this — consistently,” that’s exactly why my membership exists.Inside the membership, you get ongoing support to help you:Slow down instead of pushing harderRegulate your nervous system in real lifeBuild self-trust one moment at a timeLearn how to feel without sufferingThis is the work — and you don’t have to do it alone.👉 Join us at:joinamanda.caInvitationBring your questions.Bring the overwhelm.Bring the part of you that’s exhausted from trying to hold it all together.You know where to find me.

What most women call overwhelm or anxiety is often something deeper: emotional burnout — the kind that happens when you’ve spent years trying to tolerate your emotions instead of learning how to expand your capacity for them.In today’s episode, I’m sharing a private training from the podcast I create exclusively for my clients. We’re breaking down the real difference between emotional tolerance (the rigid, finite jar that eventually cracks) and emotional capacity (the flexible container you can actually grow).You’ll learn:Why simply “tolerating” your emotions exhausts youThe glass-jar metaphor that explains emotional burnout perfectlyWhat true emotional capacity looks like — and why it’s a skill, not a personality traitHow nervous system regulation expands your capacity in real timeThe 4 pillars of capacity-building (regulation, nature, pleasure, and thought quality)How to stop outsourcing control and reclaim it in a way that’s actually sustainableSimple daily practices to grow your internal bandwidth so you don’t get knocked over by lifeIf you’ve felt like you’re at the end of your rope — irritated, overstimulated, or one small thing away from snapping — this episode will help you understand why… and what to do next.✨ Want this level of support every week?This episode comes from the private podcast feed I create for my 1:1 coaching clients — the kind of deep, practical emotional work we do together.If you want to explore the ways you can work with me, head to:👉 joinamanda.ca🧡 If this episode landed for you…Share it with someone who needs it, or post it to your stories and tag me.And if you want your own questions answered join one of my coaching containers — we can go even deeper there.

The holidays bring everything — family dynamics, overwhelm, expectations, pressure — and underneath it all is the fear of speaking up in a way that feels good. In this episode, we break down what a boundary actually is, why it feels so hard to set one, and how fear and nervous system dysregulation keep you stuck in people-pleasing or emotional shutdown.You’ll learn how to identify fear in your body, regulate before you respond, and create clean, grounded boundaries that support the life you want. This is the episode to listen to if you want to stop abandoning yourself and start honoring what works for you.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:What a boundary really is (and what it’s not)Why fear makes speaking up feel impossibleHow fight/flight/freeze/fawn sabotage your voiceHow to regulate before having brave conversationsWhy self-worth must be chosen firstSPECIAL OFFER — TODAY ONLYSign up for my 1:1 coaching at JoinAmanda.ca without a discovery call and receive:✨ 5 months for the price of 4✨ 20 private sessions✨ A $250 credit after completing the programBOUNDARIES WORKSHOP — DECEMBER 15Join me for a live class on setting boundaries & having brave conversations.Link in bio on Instagram/TikTok @theamandahess. or https://amandahesscoaching.as.me/brave