How To Love Yourself No Matter What

Hey my beautiful friend… I can’t believe I’m saying this, but welcome to Episode 300.
When I started this podcast, I had no idea if anyone would listen… or if I’d even keep going. But here we are — and today I want to revisit the most important message I’ve ever shared:
Loving yourself no matter what is the key to everything.
Because self-love isn’t about bubble baths or positive affirmations.
It’s about learning how to be safe with yourself.
It’s about learning how to support yourself when you’re struggling… how to regulate your nervous system… how to stop spiraling into shame… and how to stop living your life trying to earn love from everyone else.
In this episode, I’m walking you through where the message of Love Yourself No Matter What came from, why it matters so deeply, how it actually works, and how to begin implementing it in your real life — even if you feel like you’ve tried everything.
This is the foundation of emotional healing, confidence, boundaries, and true inner peace.
And if you’ve been feeling stuck, anxious, lonely, reactive, exhausted, or like something is “wrong” with you…
This episode is for you.
✨ In This Episode, We Talk About:
Why self-love is still deeply misunderstood
The difference between being loving vs. being permissive
Why so many people feel anxious, lonely, and emotionally exhausted
How perfectionism and pressure keep you stuck
My personal rock bottom — and what I was told about myself
How nervous system sensitivity can be mistaken for “something wrong with you”
Why learning to love yourself creates emotional safety
The “abused puppy” metaphor that explains healing perfectly
How self-love helps you stop procrastinating, people pleasing, and spiraling
Why your life becomes unrecognizable when you stop abandoning yourself
How to start practicing loving yourself daily (even when you don’t feel lovable)

💛 Ready to Go Deeper?
If you want support implementing this work in your life, I’d love to talk with you.
📍 Book a call here: amandahess.ca/bookacall
🎧 Loved this Episode?
If this podcast has supported you, I would be so grateful if you left a review — it helps more women find this work and start healing too.

Show notes coming soon

I’m recording this one off the cuff, because it matters.
I cry a lot. I cry every day. Sometimes I cry because I’m sad. Sometimes I cry because I’m angry, happy, proud — or because I just need to cry. I’ve always been this way, and if you’re listening to this, you probably are too.
In this episode, I talk about why crying isn’t something to fix — and why nothing has gone wrong when tears show up. We’ve been taught to feel shame or guilt when we cry, especially in front of other people, but that doesn’t mean crying is wrong. More often than not, it just means other people don’t have the tools to be with it.
This is a conversation about sensitivity, emotion, and why big girls do cry — not because we’re weak, but because we feel deeply, we care, and we’re human.
In This Episode, I Cover:
Why I cry every day — and why that’s not a problem
The shame and guilt many women feel when they cry in front of others
Why people try to fix crying instead of allowing it
How we’re taught that crying is inappropriate or “too much”
Why crying isn’t manipulative
Crying as release, connection, and a non-aggressive expression of emotion
A thought to try on: Big girls do cry — and I’m okay with myself when I do

A question to sit with:
What happens when I let myself cry without making it mean something has gone wrong?
You don’t need to answer it — just notice the urge to stop it, explain it, apologize for it, or judge yourself for it.
That noticing is the work.
If this episode brought up relief, resistance, or confusion, you’re not alone — and you don’t have to carry it by yourself.
✨ Come say hi on Instagram: @theamandahess
I’d love to hear what this stirred for you — the real, unpolished version.
If this episode resonated and you want support applying this work to your real life, I’d love to talk with you.
I currently have space in my 1:1 coaching practice.
Book a discovery call here:
👉 https://amandahess.ca/book-a-call
Stay Connected
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.
I’ll see you next week. 💛

Sensitive women feel deeply — and for many, emotional pain can feel overwhelming, unsafe, or impossible to sit with. There’s often a fear that if you really let yourself feel it, you’ll fall apart and won’t be able to recover.
In this episode, I unpack why emotional pain feels so intense for sensitive and neurodivergent women — and why this has nothing to do with being fragile or broken. We explore how emotional overwhelm is actually a capacity issue, not a personal flaw, and how many of the ways we’ve learned to cope with emotion are protective — but ultimately keep us stuck.
This is an honest conversation about emotional overwhelm, overthinking, self-judgment, and how learning to stay with yourself during emotional pain can fundamentally change your relationship with your emotions — and with yourself.
In This Episode, We Cover:
Why sensitive women often fear fully feeling their emotions
The difference between emotional pain and emotional overwhelm
Why emotional overwhelm is a capacity issue, not fragility
How we’re taught to fix, explain, or numb emotions instead of feeling them
Why intellectualizing emotions leads to overthinking and burnout
Common patterns sensitive women use to cope with emotional pain
How urgency, meaning-making, and self-judgment intensify emotional pain
The difference between managing emotional pain and relating to it
Why emotions don’t need to be solved in order to move
How to separate sensation in the body from the story in the mind
What it actually looks like to “stay with” an emotion
Why emotional processing should feel quiet, boring, and non-dramatic
How emotional capacity grows through presence, not force
A personal water-skiing story that illustrates how emotional capacity is built

Key Takeaway
Emotional pain isn’t the problem — being alone inside it is. When you learn how to stay with yourself instead of trying to fix, outrun, or explain your emotions, your capacity grows. Sensitivity stops being something you manage and becomes a strength you can trust.
Mentioned in This Episode
Emotional capacity vs. emotional fragility
Clean emotional experience vs. emotional overwhelm
Separating sensation from story
Internal companionship and self-trust
Presence as the path to emotional confidence

Work With Me
If this episode resonated and you want support applying this work to your real life, I’d love to talk with you.
I currently have space...

Jealousy is one of the most misunderstood emotions — and one of the most shamed. Most of us were never taught how to feel jealousy without turning it against ourselves or others.
In this episode, I unpack what jealousy actually is, why it hurts so much, and how it can either become a source of unnecessary suffering or a powerful source of self-awareness. We explore the difference between clean jealousy and dirty jealousy, how judgment gets layered on top of pain, and why jealousy isn’t a character flaw — it’s information.
This is an honest conversation about desire, disappointment, self-worth, and how learning to let jealousy stay clean can change the way you relate to yourself and others.
In This Episode, We Cover:
What jealousy actually is (and what it isn’t)
Why jealousy often feels so intense and painful
The difference between clean jealousy and dirty jealousy
How we turn jealousy into extra suffering through judgment
The two most common ways jealousy gets “dirty”
A personal story about trying out for Stampede Queen and what jealousy revealed in hindsight
How jealousy can lead to growth — or cause us to shrink
Why avoiding the clean pain of jealousy often keeps us stuck
How jealousy points directly to desire, longing, and possibility

Key Takeaway
Jealousy doesn’t mean something has gone wrong. It means you want something. When you stop judging yourself or others for that desire, jealousy becomes a clean signal — not a punishment.
Mentioned in This Episode
Clean pain vs. dirty pain
Desire as information, not a problem
Emotional honesty without self-abandonment
Using emotion as guidance instead of self-judgment

Work With Me
If this episode resonated and you want support applying this work to your real life, I’d love to talk with you.
I currently have space in my 1:1 coaching practice.
Book a discovery call here:
👉 https://amandahess.ca/book-a-call
Stay Connected
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.
I’ll see you next week. 💛