Burnout isn’t just being tired or overwhelmed—it’s what happens when your nervous system is totally tapped out. This episode is a wake-up call and a reframe. I break down what burnout really is, what it’s not, and how to start healing without adding more pressure to your already packed plate.[00:00–01:25]📍 Let's reframe burnoutI kick things off by calling out the biggest misunderstanding about burnout: we think it’s situational, but the truth is deeper. Burnout is when your nervous system says, “I’m done.” It's not weakness—it's a stress overload.[01:26–03:20]🔥 Burnout vs. "nervous breakdown"I talk about how burnout used to be labeled a nervous breakdown, and why that language matters. It’s about capacity, not capability. Burnout is your body's way of saying something's not working.[03:21–05:10]🚫 People-pleasing & the cost of “playing nice”If you’re saying yes when you want to say no, avoiding boundaries, and putting everyone else first, this is your burnout blueprint. I walk through how saying “yes” at the expense of yourself leads to emotional depletion.[05:11–07:45]🌪️ The real burnout trigger: a fried nervous systemWhat looks like anxiety, panic, and sleeplessness often comes down to nervous system dysregulation. I compare it to skipping flossing—eventually the buildup causes pain. We need daily emotional hygiene.[07:46–09:35]💡 How to start regulating your nervous systemThis isn’t about meditating more or walking it off. I explain how real nervous system regulation is consistent, intentional, and doable. I share the first tool you can try today: my 5-minute reset (and how to get it).[09:36–11:20]⚖️ Capacity & emotion: how to hold moreThink about how you feel after vacation vs. after a sleepless night. Emotional capacity changes, and we can build it intentionally. This section is about how we make allowing emotion easier.[11:21–13:00]🧠 Thoughts, beliefs & the mental loadBurnout isn’t just emotional—there’s a mental component too. I talk about how the belief that you’re responsible for everything and everyone fuels burnout and why it’s time to challenge that.[13:01–15:00]💬 Where to start & how I can helpI wrap with two options for going deeper: book a discovery call with me at amandahess.ca or join my Love Yourself No Matter What membership for free at joinamanda.ca. Plus, how to reach me for the free 5-minute reset.
Interested in working with Amanda? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.caWant to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: https://amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself?preview_theme_id=2160502340Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess
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15:34
How to Love Yourself First Without Guilt — Lessons with LT Dixon
This episode is more than a conversation—it’s a reclamation.LT Dixon joins me to share a deeply personal, powerful journey of healing, self-discovery, and radical self-love. From surviving abuse to raising five kids as a single mom, LT didn't just rebuild her life—she reinvented her identity.Together, we explore what it actually means to put yourself first without guilt, why so many women feel resistance to loving themselves, and how to start operating from a completely new paradigm—where self-love isn’t optional, it’s foundational.You’ll walk away with tangible wisdom, loving truth bombs, and a fresh perspective on what it means to be love, lead with love, and build a life from the inside out.Whether you’re at the start of your healing journey or deep in the process of remembering who you are—you’ll find resonance here.⏱️ Episode Timestamps:0:00 – Welcome + introducing my first guest in this self-love series2:15 – LT’s story: healing from abuse and rediscovering herself6:45 – “It started with a cup of coffee”: the smallest act of self-love that changed everything10:30 – The moment she said, “This can’t be my life”—and why that question matters14:55 – How to ask, ‘Where am I?’ and why this is the most powerful place to begin19:30 – Redefining love on your own terms: acceptance, appreciation, no judgment24:10 – LT’s “me, we, them” framework and how it transformed her family29:50 – What to do when you feel resistance to loving yourself33:40 – Setting boundaries without guilt—and how it’s a form of love37:20 – Why healing isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being honest41:10 – Final takeaways + where to find LT online🔗 Connect with LT Dixon:📱 TikTok: @getyourshifttogetherSM: IG: L.T. DixonConnect with Amanda:Get a FREE week inside the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership:https://amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourselfTT/IG/FB @theamandahess
Interested in working with Amanda? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.caWant to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: https://amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself?preview_theme_id=2160502340Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess
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43:58
Are You Even Listening to Me?! Navigating the Trauma of Feeling Unseen
Ever feel like nobody truly sees you or hears you—like you’re speaking, but it’s not landing? In this episode, I’m sharing a personal story that cracked this experience wide open for me. If you’re neurodivergent, highly sensitive, or just someone who’s been labeled as “too much,” this is going to resonate deeply. We’ll explore what it actually means to feel unseen and unheard, why this is such a common experience (especially for women like us), and how to begin rewriting that story from the inside out.🧠 Here’s what we cover:[00:00] – Welcome & why this topic matters[01:30] – A real-life moment with my husband that brought up deep feelings of being unheard[04:15] – How I reacted (and what I used to do before I had the tools I do now)[07:00] – The shame spiral that used to follow, and why I don’t go there anymore[09:20] – Why neurodivergent women are often misunderstood and mislabeled[11:40] – A poolside story with my dad’s wife that triggered old beliefs and shame[14:30] – How hiding parts of ourselves contributes to feeling invisible[16:50] – Why you have to see yourself before anyone else can[18:40] – What it means to be your own ride or die[20:00] – How to build connection, support, and belonging—on your terms[22:10] – The two ways to work with me if you’re ready to finally feel seen and heard💥 Ready to feel truly seen and heard in your life?→ Book a 1:1 consult with me here: https://amandahess.ca→ Join my membership and start your FREE week here: https://joinamanda.caYou deserve to take up space. Let’s do this together. 💛
Interested in working with Amanda? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.caWant to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: https://amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself?preview_theme_id=2160502340Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess
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23:38
Why Hope Feels Risky (And How Sensitive Minds Can Embrace It Anyway)
Episode Summary:Do you ever find yourself holding back from feeling hope—because deep down, you're afraid of being disappointed, let down, or even embarrassed? You're not alone. In this episode, we explore how learning to build emotional capacity for hope is essential to living a life that feels meaningful, connected, and aligned with who you really are.You'll learn why hope isn't just a feel-good emotion—it’s a vital ingredient for mental and emotional wellbeing. If you're sensitive, neurodivergent, or simply someone who’s been hurt before, hope can feel risky. But avoiding it? That leads to a life that gets smaller and less satisfying over time. This episode will show you a new way.We’ll walk through a clear 3-step process for expanding your emotional capacity so that you can open yourself back up to dreaming, desiring, and pursuing the things that actually matter to you. You’ll leave with practical tools, journaling prompts, and a challenge to help you reconnect with possibility—on your own terms.⏱️ Timestamps & What You’ll Learn:[0:00 - 3:00] – Why This Matters More Than EverA powerful reminder of what’s possible when you allow yourself to feel hope—and what’s at stake when you don’t.[3:01 - 6:50] – Why Hope Feels Unsafe for So Many WomenUnderstand the hidden ways you’ve been taught to shut down your dreams and why hope can feel like a risk rather than a resource.[6:51 - 10:00] – The “Realism” Trap & How It Shrinks Your LifeExplore how being “realistic” often becomes code for “settling”—and how to know if you’ve fallen into that trap.[10:01 - 14:15] – What Happens When You Avoid HopeDiscover the quiet cost of choosing safety over possibility and how it shows up in your relationships, career, and self-worth.[14:16 - 18:30] – The Behaviors That Numb Hope—and Why They Don’t WorkFrom resentment to numbing to self-sabotage, we unpack the habits that develop when you shut out hope—and how to shift them.[18:31 - 22:00] – What Emotional Capacity Really Is (And Why You Need It)Learn what it means to actually build your emotional capacity—not just tolerate more stress—and how this changes everything.[22:01 - 27:00] – The 3-Step Framework for Building Capacity for HopeRegulate your nervous systemAllow emotions (instead of avoiding them)Shift your thought patterns with powerful questionsYou'll get concrete tools and journaling prompts to start implementing today.[27:01 - 29:00] – How Avoiding Pain Also Blocks JoyUnderstand how protecting yourself from difficult emotions is also limiting your ability to feel joy, connection, and satisfaction.[29:01 - End] – Your Next Step: Practice Hope, On PurposeTake on a simple challenge to practice hopeful thinking in the next 24 hours—and learn how you can get deeper support, totally free, through the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership. Head to joinamanda.ca to try it out with no strings attached.Let me know if you’d like this turned into a blog post, an email, or a caption too—I’ve got you.
Interested in working with Amanda? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.caWant to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: https://amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself?preview_theme_id=2160502340Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess
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30:07
Making Peace with the Past Version of You
In this episode, I thoughtfully explore the importance of making peace with our past selves as a key element of self-love and personal growth. Through my own personal experiences and insights, I share how embracing compassion toward past versions of ourselves, rather than judging or rejecting them, allows for genuine healing and deeper self-understanding. Recognizing our past selves as doing their best with the knowledge and resources they had at the time helps free us from lingering regret or shame. Ultimately, cultivating this understanding creates a more authentic, peaceful, and fulfilling life.
Interested in working with Amanda? Sign up for a discovery call: https://amandahess.caWant to join the Love Yourself No Matter What Membership For Free? Join here: https://amanda-hess.mykajabi.com/loveyourself?preview_theme_id=2160502340Come find me on TT and IG: @theamandahess
Welcome to the How To Love Yourself No Matter What Podcast, hosted by Amanda Hess, a Certified Trauma Aware Life & Success Coach for Neurodivergent Women. This podcast is dedicated to helping neurodivergent women change what they think is "wrong with them" into their superpower.
Amanda struggled with her neurodivergence for years without even knowing that it was neurodivergence. Maybe you can relate? Thanks to not understanding her unique brain and her unique needs, Amanda spent decades dealing with the emotional fallout of not knowing how to address her highly sensitive nervous system. This meant a long journey of mental health struggles, meds that didn't work and therapy that seemingly made her feel worse, not better. Until she found coaching, which changed everything.
Now Amanda teaches neurodivergent women how to approach their unique brains in a way that creates trust, understanding, and real results.
If you are craving a new experience with yourself and want to feel like you truly belong to yourself and to the world, this podcast is for you. Let's get started.
New Zealand