How To Love Yourself No Matter What

Jealousy is one of the most misunderstood emotions — and one of the most shamed. Most of us were never taught how to feel jealousy without turning it against ourselves or others.
In this episode, I unpack what jealousy actually is, why it hurts so much, and how it can either become a source of unnecessary suffering or a powerful source of self-awareness. We explore the difference between clean jealousy and dirty jealousy, how judgment gets layered on top of pain, and why jealousy isn’t a character flaw — it’s information.
This is an honest conversation about desire, disappointment, self-worth, and how learning to let jealousy stay clean can change the way you relate to yourself and others.
In This Episode, We Cover:
What jealousy actually is (and what it isn’t)
Why jealousy often feels so intense and painful
The difference between clean jealousy and dirty jealousy
How we turn jealousy into extra suffering through judgment
The two most common ways jealousy gets “dirty”
A personal story about trying out for Stampede Queen and what jealousy revealed in hindsight
How jealousy can lead to growth — or cause us to shrink
Why avoiding the clean pain of jealousy often keeps us stuck
How jealousy points directly to desire, longing, and possibility

Key Takeaway
Jealousy doesn’t mean something has gone wrong. It means you want something. When you stop judging yourself or others for that desire, jealousy becomes a clean signal — not a punishment.
Mentioned in This Episode
Clean pain vs. dirty pain
Desire as information, not a problem
Emotional honesty without self-abandonment
Using emotion as guidance instead of self-judgment

Work With Me
If this episode resonated and you want support applying this work to your real life, I’d love to talk with you.
I currently have space in my 1:1 coaching practice.
Book a discovery call here:
👉 https://amandahess.ca/book-a-call
Stay Connected
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.
I’ll see you next week. 💛

Belonging is one of our most basic human needs — but what if the biggest thing standing in the way of feeling like you belong isn’t other people… it’s you?
In this episode, I break down why rejection feels so painful, how micro-rejections accumulate over time, and why so many of us unconsciously reject ourselves before anyone else ever gets the chance to. We explore how rejection is an emotion (not a circumstance), how your brain tries to keep you “safe” by shrinking your life, and what it actually takes to rebuild your capacity for connection.
This is a powerful, compassionate conversation about emotional safety, self-belonging, and learning how to stop turning away from yourself — even when your nervous system wants to hide.
In This Episode, We Cover:
Why belonging is a feeling, not something other people give you
The difference between direct rejection and micro-rejections
How rejection sensitivity builds quietly over time
Why avoiding rejection leads to a smaller, lonelier life
What it means to reject yourself in advance (and how it shows up)
How your brain uses pre-rejection as a protection strategy
A simple, practical way to interrupt self-rejection in real time
Why you don’t need to “heal everything” to move forward
How to build internal belonging: I am lovable. I belong.

Key Takeaway
If you want to feel more connected, you have to stop abandoning yourself first. Belonging begins internally — and it’s a skill you can practice, moment by moment.
Mentioned in This Episode
The Love Yourself No Matter What coaching method
Real-life application vs. theory-based mindset work
Nervous system safety, emotional processing, and self-trust

Work With Me
If this episode resonated and you want support applying this work to your real life, I’d love to talk with you.
I currently have space in my 1:1 coaching practice.
Book a discovery call here:
👉 https://amandahess.ca/book-a-call
Stay Connected
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.
I’ll see you next week. 💛

If you’re listening to this in January (or any other time of the year) and feeling heavy, flat, emotional, or quietly overwhelmed — this episode is for you.
January 1st is supposed to feel hopeful. Fresh. Motivating.
But for so many women, it actually brings pressure, comparison, and a deep sense of “I should be feeling better than I am.”
In this episode, I’m unpacking why January 1st can feel so dysregulating — and why New Year’s resolutions often make things worse, not better.
This isn’t about mindset failure or lack of discipline.
It’s about conditioning, shame-based change, and a nervous system that’s been trained to scan for what’s missing.
We’ll talk about:
Why New Year’s resolutions are often fueled by shame
How performative change keeps you stuck in all-or-nothing cycles
Why willpower always fails (and what actually works instead)
The real reason behaviors like overeating, drinking, people-pleasing, or overworking don’t change through control
A gentler, more effective way to approach the new year without pressure
How self-concept and emotional safety create sustainable change
Powerful reframes you can return to all year long

Instead of asking “Who do I need to become this year?”
I invite you to explore questions like:
What would make me feel a little safer this year?
What do I want more of emotionally, energetically, and relationally?
What helps me come back to myself?

You don’t need a big vision.
You don’t need a perfect plan.
And you don’t need to fix yourself.
You just need to be willing to stay with yourself while this year unfolds.
Mentioned in This Episode
Episode 293: You Are Not Who You Think You Are — How to Change Your Self-Concept
Join the membership for a free week at 👉 joinamanda.ca
(Includes coaching calls + an upcoming full class on self-concept)
Book a private coaching discovery call at 👉 amandahess.ca/bookacall

A Gentle Reminder
You don’t have to know where 2026 is going yet.
You don’t have to feel motivated.
And you don’t need a resolution to be worthy of change.
What if this year was about trusting yourself instead of forcing yourself?
What if your only intention was to love yourself — and be more you?
I’m so glad you’re here.
And I can’t wait to keep talking with you in 2026.

As the year comes to a close, many of us are taking stock — not just of what we did, but of who we believe we are.
In this episode, we’re talking about self-concept: the thoughts and beliefs you hold about yourself, how they were formed, and how they quietly shape your emotions, relationships, and choices — often without you realizing it.
So many of the things we believe about ourselves feel like facts… but they’re not. They’re thoughts — many of them inherited from childhood, authority figures, culture, or past experiences — and they can be changed.
Inside this episode, I share:
What self-concept actually is (and what it’s not)
How early experiences shape the way we see ourselves
Why “positive thinking” often backfires
A powerful question that opens a new path forward: Who would I be without this thought?
How to shift self-judgment without forcing yourself to believe something that doesn’t feel true
Why changing your self-concept isn’t about becoming someone else — it’s about freeing yourself

If you’ve ever felt like you aren't capable of changing your life, this conversation offers a gentler, more empowering way to look at yourself — one that creates possibility instead of pressure.
Work With Me
If you want support with this work:
✨ Join my membership
You can come into the community this week for a free 7-day trial. You’ll get access to:
Weekly group coaching calls
My private daily podcast (500+ episodes)
A supportive, thoughtful community of women doing this work together

Go to joinamanda.ca to find out more.
✨ 1:1 Coaching
I currently have limited availability for private coaching.
Book a discovery call here:
👉 amandahess.ca/bookacall
If this episode resonated, I’d love to hear from you.
You can find me on Instagram at @theamandahess — send me a DM and tell me what stood out.
Whether you celebrate or not, I’m sending you so much love as this year comes to a close.
You are not stuck. You are not broken.
And you are allowed to change.

Feeling is part of being human. Suffering is not.
In this episode, Amanda breaks down the crucial difference between feeling emotions and suffering because of them. You’ll hear a raw, honest reflection on what it’s like to try to “hold it all together,” why doing more never actually fixes emotional overwhelm, and how learning to slow down is the real way out of suffering.
This episode is a reminder that you don’t need better tools, better behavior, or more discipline — you need to take your foot off the emotional gas.
What You’ll Learn
Why 50% of life is always uncomfortable emotion (no matter how well you’re doing)
The difference between feeling pain and creating suffering
How “trying not to feel” actually extends suffering
Why doing more, pushing harder, or expecting yourself to cope better doesn’t work
The compounding factors that turn pain into long-term suffering
What it really means to “take your foot off the emotional gas”
Simple, practical ways to slow your nervous system in real time
How to start asking yourself, “What do I need right now?” — and listening to the answer

Key Takeaways
Feeling is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
Pain happens. Hurt happens. Loss, rejection, and grief are real.
Suffering comes from:
Judgment
Pressure
Emotional acceleration
Not slowing down
Not regulating your nervous system
You don’t need to fix yourself — you need to pause
Slowing down is not quitting; it’s leadership
Self-trust is built in small percentages — 5%, then 10%, then more

Practical Tools Mentioned
Taking your foot off the emotional gas
Regulating through the senses:
Look around
Notice what you see, hear, smell, taste, touch
Breathing and grounding (takes seconds, not minutes)
Asking yourself:

“What do I need in this moment?”Choosing support instead of speed

Memorable Quote
“Feeling is inevitable. Suffering is not.”Want This Kind of Support in Your Ear Every Day?
If this episode resonated and you find yourself thinking, “I need more of this — consistently,” that’s exactly why my membership exists.
Inside the membership, you get ongoing support to help you:
Slow down instead of pushing harder
Regulate your nervous system in real life
Build self-trust one moment at a time
Learn how to feel without suffering

This is the work — and you don’t have to do it alone.
👉 Join us at:
joinamanda.ca
Invitation
Bring your questions.
Bring the overwhelm.
Bring the part of you that’s exhausted from trying to hold it all together.
You know where to find me.