Overpowering Emotions: Tools for Child & Teen Anxiety and Resilience

Holiday break can bring joy… and a whole lot of overwhelm. In this Holiday Special Replay of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline shares what holiday dysregulation looks like in real life (including her own family’s “never leave the house on Christmas Day” boundary), why kids melt down when routines shift, and how adults can turn everyday holiday stress into practice for emotion regulation and resilience. You’ll hear concrete ways to keep just enough structure, reduce sensory overload, handle screen-time battles without power struggles, and teach kids to “catch it early” before emotions take over—using body awareness, code words, coping cards, and simple family rituals that build flexibility and calm.Homework Ideas Pick 2 “anchor routines” and protect them all breakTry:Same wake-up time most days (even if bedtime shifts)One bedtime ritual piece (hug + story, even if it’s late)One daily quiet-alone-time block (10–30 minutes) Create a “Holiday Overwhelm Plan” with your kid (10 minutes) Write together:My early warning signs: (snappy, clingy, quiet, stomach aches, tears, silliness that won’t stop)My resets: (bathroom break, headphones, snack, walk, quiet room, doodle)My help request words: “I need a break.” / “Can we do puppy?”Parent response script: “I see it. We can take five.” Choose a code word for public situationsDo: Pick something neutral (“puppy”) and practice it once at home. Use it when: you notice irritability, withdrawal, or escalating volume.Goal: exit early, reset, return.Practice “drop into the body” once a dayDo (kids + teens):“Where do you feel it right now?” (chest, throat, belly, head)Or start silly/easy: “What does your right elbow feel like?”Why it helps: builds noticing skills before emotions hijack behavior.Resource: Emotion wheel or feelings chart (print one and keep it visible). Check out the emotional literacy toolkit to help! Screen boundaries that don’t become a daily warTry one simple rule:Tech-free zones (bedrooms, meal table) orTech-free time (first hour after waking, last hour before bed) orTech-free day blocks (two afternoons a week)When pushback hits: mirror the feeling. “Ugh. You really wanted Minecraft today.” (Stop there. No lecture.) One “resilience tradition” for the weekPick ONE:Gratitude jar (read on New Year’s Eve)Resilience ornament/tree (write a “hard thing I handled” on paper)Family story night: “A time I messed up and what I learned.”Resources Mentioned:The Emotional Literacy Book (https://korulearninginstitute.kit.com/emotionaliteracy)FREE Holiday Guide with essential tips to support emotion regulation over the holidays (https://korulearninginstitute.kit.com/2025holidayguide)Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh Follow Dr. Caroline YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzankoIG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/ LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzankoFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/ Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/

The holidays are supposed to be joyful—but for many families, they quietly amplify stress, overwhelm, and emotional reactivity.In this special crossover episode with Parents of the Year podcast, Dr. Caroline and her husband Andrew step away from “perfect holiday” pressure and take a psychologically grounded look at why emotions run hotter during the holidays, for both kids and adults.We explore how disrupted routines, sensory overload, social comparison, family dynamics, and unrealistic expectations tax the nervous system—and why emotional meltdowns, irritability, withdrawal, or disappointment are not signs of failure, but signals of dysregulation.This episode bridges emotion regulation science with real-life parenting moments, including:· Why overstimulation is often behind kids’ holiday meltdowns· How social media comparison fuels anxiety and emotional exhaustion· The role of structure, predictability, and proactive planning in regulation· Why parents’ emotional regulation sets the ceiling for their children’s· How to identify non-negotiables, let go of the rest, and reduce emotional load· Practical strategies for creating “magical moments” without emotional burnoutRather than trying to make emotions disappear, this conversation focuses on helping families anticipate emotional needs, regulate proactively, and respond with intention instead of reactivity.Want to learn more about boosting resilience during the holidays? Check out these episodes:Holiday Stress? Here's How to Build Real Resilience (https://youtu.be/jXgq7dn-hR4)How can we nurture kids' emotional resilience during the holidays? (https://youtu.be/jXgq7dn-hR4)Homework IdeasDo a “Holiday Load” Scan (5 minutes)Goal: Reduce dysregulation by identifying what’s actually taxing the nervous system.Do: Write down the top 3 things that reliably spike stress for your child/teen (e.g., crowds, late nights, lots of visits, too many transitions) and the top 3 that spike stress for you.Use it: Pick one lever to change this week (sleep, pacing, fewer events, quieter mornings, etc.).Resource: A simple “HALT” check (Hungry, Angry/Anxious, Lonely, Tired) + add S for Sensory.Choose 2 Non-Negotiables + 2 FlexiblesGoal: Lower conflict and decision fatigue; clarify boundaries ahead of time.Do:Non-negotiables (examples): “We don’t do three houses in one day,” “We eat before we go,” “We leave by 7:30.”Flexibles: “Which movie?” “Which dessert?” “When we open gifts (within a window).”Share it with your child/teen (and any other adults involved) before the big day.Resource: Brief script:“Here’s what matters most to me so everyone’s nervous system is okay…”“Here’s what you can choose so it still feels fun for you…”Build a Regulation Plan: Before / During / AfterGoal: Move from reactive parenting to proactive emotion regulation.Do: Create a 3-part plan:Before: sleep, food, hydration, quiet time, predict the tough momentsDuring: micro-breaks, movement, sensory supports, time limitsAfter: decompression time, low-demand evening, early bedtime when possibleResource: “30/30 Rule” for high stimulation days: every ~30–60 minutes of stimulation, aim for a brief downshift (bathroom break, fresh air, water, quiet corner).Replacement Behaviours for Screen/Scroll TrapsGoal: Reduce comparison + mindless scrolling (a major holiday stress amplifier).Do: Choose a replacement behaviour you’ll do instead of scrolling when stressed:5-minute walkshort stretchtea + 3 slow breathstext one friend directly (real connection)Resource: Set a phone boundary: “No social media before noon” or “10 minutes max, with a timer.”Create a “Code Word” + Exit Plan (Kids and Teens)Goal: Give kids a dignified way to signal overwhelm without melting down.Do: Pick a code word (e.g., “yellow light,” “reset,” “quiet break”).Define what happens when they use it:you step out togetherthey go to a quiet spotheadphones/hoodie breakshort car break if neededResource: Collaborative language:“Your job is to notice overwhelm early. My job is to help you reset.”Practice “Containment” When Volume or Energy RisesGoal: Prevent spirals by regulating yourself first.Do: When you notice irritation rising:Pause (one breath)Name internally: “My nervous system is activated.”Do one downshift: step away, splash cold water, 10 slow exhales, or a short walk.Resource: A simple mantra: “I can be the calm, even when it’s loud.”Set Expectations Explicitly Goal: Reduce disappointment driven by vague, magical expectations.Do: Ask:“What are you most excited about—specifically?”“What would make the day feel like a win?”Then set realistic anchors:one meaningful momentone active thingone connection pointResource: “Lower the bar, deepen the moment.” (Connection > performance.)Plan for Sensory Needs Goal: Prevent overload (lights, noise, crowds, scratchy clothes, social demands).Do: Pack a “regulation kit”:headphones/earbudsgum/mintsfidgethoodie/comfort itemsunglasses/hatsnack + waterResource: Let kids opt into brief “parallel play” (being near others without forced interaction).Use “Let It Go vs. Address It” Sorting Goal: Avoid adults getting pulled into old roles and conflicts.Do: Before gatherings, decide:2 things you’ll let go (minor irritations)1 thing you’ll address if needed (a true boundary)Use a short phrase to hold it:“Not today.”“That’s not up for discussion.”“We’re keeping it simple this year.”Resource: “Boundaries are kind when they’re clear.”End-of-Day Debrief: 3–2–1 ResetGoal: Teach emotional learning without shame; build resilience over time.Do (at bedtime or next morning):3 things that went okay2 moments that were hard1 tweak for next timeResource: Keep it brief and neutral. The point is learning, not blame.BonusThe holidays represent a perfect storm for dysregulation:· Increased sensory input (noise, crowds, events)· Disrupted routines (sleep, meals, schedules)· Heightened expectations (“This should be special”)· Social comparison (especially via social media)· Relational triggers (family dynamics, unresolved patterns) 1. Emotions Escalate When Predictability Drops When structure disappears, the nervous system has to work harder. For children especially, this can lead to:· irritability· emotional outbursts· shutdown or withdrawal The solution isn’t stricter control—it’s intentional scaffolding:· spacing events· building in rest· protecting sleep and nutrition· pacing stimulation 2. Overstimulation Looks Like “Bad Behaviour” Holiday meltdowns are often mislabeled as entitlement or attitude. In reality, they are frequently signs of:· sensory overload· emotional saturation· unmet regulation needs This episode reframes behaviour as communication—consistent with an emotion-coaching lens. 3. Parents’ Regulation Is the Regulating Force Children borrow regulation from adults. When parents:· anticipate their own limits,· step away before exploding,· name and honor boundaries,they are modeling exactly the skills we want children to internalize. This is co-regulation in action. 4. Expectations Drive Emotional Pain Disappointment often comes not from what happens, but from the gap between:· what we imagined, and· what actually unfolded. This episode emphasizes helping both adults and children:· name expectations,· reality-check them,· and flexibly adjust rather than collapse into frustration. 5. Emotion Regulation Is Proactive, Not Reactive Regulation works best before emotions peak so it’s important to use proactive strategies such as:· identifying non-negotiables in advance· planning recovery time· setting clear internal boundaries· collaborating with children ahead of time Suggested Listener Reflection Questions· What parts of the holidays are most dysregulating for me?· Which expectations am I carrying that may not be realistic?· Where could less stimulation create more connection?· What would it look like to model emotional boundaries for my child?· How can I help my family “ride the wave” rather than fight it?Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh Follow Dr. Caroline YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzankoIG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/ LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzankoFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/ Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/

Big feelings don’t always need more rules and structure. Sometimes they need play, movement, and a bit of silliness.In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline is joined by Sifu Boggy (Paul Brighton), a Taoist teacher who blends Qigong, Tai Chi, humour, and “sacred child” energy to support healing.They talk about why kids are the real teachers, how fidgeting and wild play help release stress from the body, and why shutting down movement can actually lock in tension, anxiety, and trauma. You’ll hear how Qigong supported Sifu through bullying, depression, and suicidality as a teen, and how simple standing exercises can help kids and adults regulate today.This conversation is especially helpful for:Educators trying to make room for movement, play, and regulation in classroomsParents & caregivers of anxious, “fidgety,” intense, or neurodivergent kidsMental health professionals looking for body-based and playful tools that fit well with emotion regulation workThey get into:The “sacred child” and why we’re not meant to grow out of playHow fidgeting, noise, and big movement can be healthy discharge, not misbehaviourQigong as “moving self-massage” that helps clear stored emotional tensionHow adults’ stress responses teach kids how to handle their ownSimple, practical ways to bring more play and movement into homes, sessions, and schoolsIf you work with kids who are anxious, shut down, “too much,” or always on the move, this episode will give you a warm, playful way to see them—and yourself—differently.Homework Ideas🧩 Notice Where You Shut Down PlayFor one week, track moments when you say or think:“Stop fidgeting.”“Calm down.”“Be serious.”Ask yourself afterward:What feeling in me sparked that reaction?Was the movement actually harmful—or just loud and inconvenient?Use that awareness to adjust one response per day: replace “stop that” with, “Let’s move that energy in a safer way,” and offer a playful alternative (e.g., jumping on a mat, shaking it out, quick wrestle on the floor, running in the yard).🧩 Schedule a Daily “Wild Play Window”Choose a 10–20 minute slot each day where the goal is: move, be loud, be silly.Ideas:Backyard “animal run” (kids choose an animal and move like it)Pillow wrestling or couch parkourLoud singing, drumming on cushions, “primal yell” into a pillowFrame it as: “This is when we help our bodies get stress out.”🧩 Try the “Twist the Waist” Qigong PracticeUse Sifu’s simple exercise with kids or for yourself:Stand with feet hip-width apart.Gently twist your waist side to side, letting your arms flop and wrap around your body.Keep breathing naturally—soft in through the nose, out through the mouth.Do this for 1–3 minutes.Afterward, ask kids:“What does your body feel like now compared to before?”This can be a classroom brain break, a transition ritual at home, or part of therapy sessions.🧩 Model Your Own “Sacred Child”Choose one playful thing you used to love as a kid and do it this week:Drawing or doodlingClimbing, swinging, skippingBuilding with LegoDancing around the kitchenLet kids see you laugh, be silly, and move. You’re showing them that growing up doesn’t mean shutting down joy.🧩 Reflect on Movement and MoodWith older kids or for your own journaling, use prompts like:“When I’m stressed and I move my body, what changes?”“When I’m told to sit still, what happens inside me?”“What kinds of movement make me feel calmer, stronger, or lighter?”This helps link movement → emotion → regulation in a concrete way.Be sure to grab your free Emotional Literacy workbook! https://korulearninginstitute.kit.com/emotionaliteracyAbout SifuSifu Boggie (a.k.a Paul Brighton) is a Daoist guide, mentor, and self-healing practitioner with over 40 years of experience in Daoism and Qigong. Trained by renowned Daoist masters, he specializes in Qi Gong, Tai Chi, Shun Dao philosophy, and other healing modalities. Sifu Boggie’s teachings blend Daoist philosophy with practical energy work and bodywork techniques, offering transformative pathways for physical, emotional, and energetic healing.LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/sifuboggie Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/2sifuboggieInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/sifu.boggie/#YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@SifuBoggieWebsite - https://shundao.uscreen.io/Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh Follow Dr. Caroline YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzankoIG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/ LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzankoFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/ Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/

Big feelings are not the problem. The real issue is when kids don’t know what those feelings are for or what to do with them.In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline walks through how to help children and teens move from “I feel awful” to “Here’s what I need and here’s what I’m going to do.”You’ll hear how to:Teach kids to read their body signals and name emotions with more precisionLink emotions to underlying needs, values, and goalsUse primary and secondary appraisal (Is this dangerous? Can I handle it?) to guide copingSpot when strategies are actually avoidance in disguiseBuild “if–then” plans so kids know exactly what to do when big feelings hitPractice emotion-focused vs. problem-focused coping without rescuing or over-accommodatingPerfect for educators, parents, and mental health professionals who want practical ways to match responses to kids’ emotions and needs, build resilience, and stop reinforcing avoidance.Homework IdeasDaily Emotion–Need Check-InGoal: Link feelings → needs → possible actions.How: Once a day (morning meeting, bedtime, or session check-in), ask:o “What are you feeling?”o “Where do you feel it in your body?”o “What might this feeling be telling you that you need or want?”o “What’s one small thing that might help?”Use an emotion wheel or your Emotional Literacy Workbook as a word bank.Helpful resource: Get the free Emotional Literacy Workbook PDF (https://korulearninginstitute.kit.com/emotionaliteracy) Primary vs. Secondary Appraisal PracticeGoal: Help kids sort “this feels huge” from “this is truly dangerous” and “can I handle it?”How: With a recent stressor (test, friend issue, gym class):Ask Primary appraisal questions:o “What makes this feel scary, hard, or unfair?”o “Is something actually unsafe, or does it mostly feel big?”Ask Secondary appraisal questions:o “Have you been in something like this before?”o “What helped even a tiny bit?”o “Who or what could support you this time?”Write answers together on a simple worksheet so they can see the pattern. Build an If–Then Coping PlanGoal: Turn vague coping into concrete, rehearsed responses.How: Pick one recurring trigger and script it: “If I start to panic before a math quiz, then I will:1. Put both feet on the floor2. Notice where the feeling is in my body3. Answer the easiest question first.”Practice this when calm, then in low-stakes situations, then in the real one. Body Mapping & Riding the WaveGoal: Increase interoceptive awareness and distress tolerance.How: Print a body outline. Ask the child to draw where they feel worry / anger / shame. Add words: “tight,” “hot,” “heavy,” “buzzy,” “pressure,” etc.During a mild spike, coach:o “Notice: stronger on the left or right?”o “Let’s watch what happens for 60–90 seconds.”Track: Did it grow, stay the same, or drop?This normalizes “waves” and shows the nervous system can rise and fall without escape. Role-Play Triggers SafelyGoal: Let kids rehearse new responses without public shame.How: Ask: “What does your sibling/classmate do that really sets you off?”Recreate a version with you (e.g., you hum “Baby Shark” while they do homework).Guide them to:o Notice body cueso Label the feelingo Use their plan: drop into the body, self-coaching, opposite action, etc.Repeat until they can access the new response faster. “Even If…” Values StatementsGoal: Tie coping to what matters most, not just symptom reduction.How: Help kids finish:· “Even if I feel anxious, I’m still going to ____ because ____ matters to me.”· “Even if I feel left out, I’m still going to ____ because ____ is important to me.”Post their top 2–3 on a card, locker, or notebook.Revisit after exposures: “Did acting on your value help, even with the feeling there?”Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh Follow Dr. Caroline YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzankoIG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/ LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzankoFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/ Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/

Kids say “I feel bad” all the time. But what does that actually mean for their brain and their behaviour? In this episode of Overpowering Emotions, Dr. Caroline breaks down how the brain builds emotions and why teaching kids to move from “I feel bad” to “I feel overwhelmed / uncertain / left out” is a game-changer for emotional regulation. Drawing on brain science and day-to-day stories from classrooms and families, she explains:· How the brain compresses huge amounts of sensory data into simple emotional categories· Why kids (and adults) often feel “angry” or “anxious” without knowing why· What “emotion granularity” is and how it gives kids more control over their reactions· The link between the body budget (sleep, hydration, exhaustion) and emotional meltdowns· Practical ways to help children notice body sensations and match them with accurate emotion words You’ll hear simple tools you can use right away to build emotional literacy in homes, classrooms, and therapy sessions. Perfect for anyone who want science-based, relatable ways to help kids and teens understand what they’re feeling and what to do about it.Free Resource (to help with homework below!): Emotional Literacy Workbook (https://korulearninginstitute.kit.com/emotionaliteracy)Homework IdeasDaily Emotion Check-Ins (Kids & Teens)Build short, regular emotion check-ins into the day—morning, midday, and evening at home; or every class / every hour at school.Ask: “How are you feeling right now?” then guide kids to move beyond “good/bad/mad” to a more specific word.“Where do you feel it in your body?” Build Emotion Vocabulary & GranularityUse the feelings wheel or emotion charts during the day when kids are calm, not only when they’re upset.Play quick “name the feeling” games:“Pick one word from the wheel that matches how you felt at recess.” “Choose a word for how you feel before this test.” Body Mapping & Interoception PracticeDraw a simple outline of a body. Ask:“Where do you feel this emotion?”“What does it feel like there? Tight, heavy, buzzy, hot, cold?”Help kids link body cues to emotions and needs:“Heavy chest = overwhelmed?”“Jittery legs = excited or nervous?”Dr. Caroline’s personal example from the episode:o A “crushing feeling” in her chest often signals overwhelm and too much on her plate.o A “breaking” feeling in her chest usually means exhaustion after very little sleep.o She then uses those cues to decide: “Do I need to reprioritize my day, or do I need to rest?” Body Budget Check Before jumping to “big emotion” explanations, check:Sleep: “How much did you sleep last night?”Hydration: “Have you had water today?”Food: “When was the last time you ate?”Load: “Is your day too full?”If a child says “I feel scared,” also scan for: Are they dehydrated? Exhausted? Hungry?Respond differently if the body budget is off (water, snack, rest, schedule changes) before jumping into problem-solving the situation. Adult Self-Practice: Modelling Emotion GranularityReplace “I’m just so stressed” with more precise language:“I feel overwhelmed because I have too much on my plate.”“I feel exhausted from not sleeping enough.”Say it out loud in front of kids so they see the full process: sensation → emotion word → action plan.· Turn Feelings into Action PlansOnce kids have named the emotion more clearly, ask about what they need. If they're unsure, help them brainstorm ideas:“If you feel left out, what might help? Inviting someone to play, talking to a teacher, or taking a break?”“If you feel overwhelmed, what do you need? Should we break this task into smaller steps?”Goal:o Move from broad “bad” to specific emotion + specific next step.o Repeat often enough that the brain learns this sequence as a habit.Enjoying the show? Help out by rating this podcast on Apple to help others get access to this information too! apple.co/3ysFijh Follow Dr. Caroline YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carolinebuzankoIG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.carolinebuzanko/ LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/dr-caroline-buzankoFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrCarolineBuzanko/Website: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/Resources: https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/resources/articles-child-resilience-well-being-psychology/ Business inquiries: https://korupsychology.ca/contact-us/Want to learn more about helping kids strengthen their emotion regulation skills and problem-solving brains while boosting their confidence, independence, and resilience? Check out my many training opportunities! https://drcarolinebuzanko.com/upcoming-events/