Perfect Prey: A Coercive Control Podcast

In this episode of Perfect Prey, I’m joined by Professor Sonja Ayeb-Karlsson, Professor of Intersectional Justice at University College London (UCL), whose research examines coercive control, legal entrapment, institutional abuse, migration, and human rights.

Together, we explore how coercive control extends beyond intimate relationships and into family court systems, why protective mothers and children often experience institutional betrayal, and how legal systems can unintentionally reinforce abuse rather than prevent it. We also discuss the Hague Convention, children's voices in family court, and why meaningful reform must begin by listening to survivors.

What we cover•Coercive control beyond intimate relationships
•Family court as a form of institutional abuse
•The Hague Convention and international custody cases
•Legal entrapment and human rights
•Why children's voices are often misunderstood
•Joan Meier's research on child abuse allegations
•The misuse of parental alienation allegations
•Why systemic reform is urgently needed

Why listenIf you're a survivor, protective parent, clinician, attorney, researcher, or advocate, this episode offers a powerful human rights perspective on coercive control and family court abuse. Professor Ayeb-Karlsson shares how research can help expose institutional failures and create meaningful change for women and children.

Guest bioProfessor Sonja Ayeb-Karlsson is Professor of Intersectional Justice at University College London (UCL). Her research focuses on legal entrapment, intersectionality, coercive control, migration, human trafficking, exploitation, and mental wellbeing.

She has published more than 100 academic works, including over 50 peer-reviewed articles, with more than 17,000 citations. Professor Ayeb-Karlsson leads the Everyday Disasters and Violences Research Group at UCL and previously served as a Senior Researcher with the United Nations University's Migration Section. She also leads the mental health and intersectionality work for the Lancet Countdown, is a core member of Hague Mothers and the Council of Europe's Network of Specialised Lawyers and NGOs Assisting Women Victims of Violence, and serves on several international editorial boards.

Connect with Professor Sonja Ayeb-KarlssonUCL Profile: https://profiles.ucl.ac.uk/87069-sonja-ayebkarlsson
Google Scholar: https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=kM8LTfkAAAAJ&hl=en
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/profayebkarlsson
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/prof-sonja-ayeb-karlsson-67692676/
Facebook ; https://www.facebook.com/profayebkarlsson/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@profayebkarlsson
Blueskyhttps://bsky.app/profile/profayebkarlsson.bsky.social
Most of Professor Sonja's research articles are available free of charge. She regularly shares free article downloads on her Instagram, including papers that cannot otherwise be made open access due to journal restrictions.

Connect with Dr. Christine🩵 Protective Parenting Program:https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/services/for-parents/Official Website:https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@DrCocchiola-coercivecontrol/videosTikTok:https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.c_coercivecontrolInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol/TEDx Talk:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp2qByKOue4&t=24sBooks:Framedhttps://url-shortener.me/c/FramedBookEvery Moment of Every Dayhttps://url-shortener.me/c/EveryMomentOfEveryDayIf this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, share it with someone who may benefit, and leave a review. Your support helps more survivors, professionals, and protective parents find these conversations.

—
Dr. Christine Cocchiola & Professor Sonja Ayeb-Karlsson

DescriptionIn this episode of Perfect Prey, I’m joined by Jeremy Indika, child sexual abuse educator, survivor, speaker, and advocate. Jeremy shares his own experience of childhood sexual abuse and explains why understanding grooming, coercive control, and child exploitation has never been more urgent.Together, we explore how perpetrators identify vulnerable children, the similarities between child sexual predators and coercive controllers, and why abuse is so often hidden in plain sight. Jeremy explains how grooming happens both offline and online, why "stranger danger" misses the mark, and what parents can do to empower children without taking away their innocence. We also discuss the rise of online exploitation, the importance of body autonomy education, role-playing safety skills with children, and why creating confident, educated children makes them far less attractive targets for predators.This conversation is both deeply personal and incredibly practical—offering parents, caregivers, educators, and professionals the tools to better understand how abuse happens and, more importantly, how we can prevent it.What we cover•Jeremy Indika's story as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse•The connection between coercive control and child sexual abuse•The stages of grooming and how predators build trust•Why children are "perfect prey" for abusers•The dangers of online grooming, pornography, and sextortion•Why "stranger danger" is no longer enough•Body autonomy and age-appropriate abuse prevention•Teaching children confidence, boundaries, and safe disclosure•Why role-playing difficult situations helps protect children•Supporting children without creating fear•Why education—not shame—is the key to preventionWhy listenIf you're a parent, educator, clinician, advocate, or simply someone who wants to better understand how child sexual abuse happens, this episode provides practical, trauma-informed guidance that could help protect a child.Jeremy reminds us that abuse is rarely about force in the beginning—it's about grooming, trust, and manipulation. By understanding these tactics, adults can create safer environments where children are empowered to speak up and predators lose their greatest advantage.Guest BioJeremy Indika is a child sexual abuse educator, speaker, survivor, and advocate dedicated to preventing child sexual exploitation through education and awareness.Drawing from both his lived experience and years of advocacy, Jeremy works with schools, parents, law enforcement, and organizations to teach practical strategies for recognizing grooming behaviors, empowering children, and preventing abuse before it occurs. Through workshops, social media, YouTube, and his podcast, Jeremy is helping make conversations about child protection more accessible, practical, and impactful.Connect with JeremyWebsite: https://www.jeremyindika.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JeremyIndikaInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremyindikaTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jeremyindikaPodcast: https://www.jeremyindika.com/podcastConnect with Dr. Christine:Protective Parenting Program: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/services/for-parents/Dr. C's Community: https://go.drcocchiola.com/innercirclecommunityOfficial site: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrCocchiola-coercivecontrol/videosTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.c_coercivecontrolInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol/TEDxTalks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp2qByKOue4&t=24sBooks:https://url-shortener.me/c/FramedBookhttps://url-shortener.me/c/EveryMomentOfEveryDayIf this episode landed for you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it, subscribe for more trauma-informed conversations, and consider leaving a review—it helps other survivors find validation and safety.— Dr. Christine Cocchiola & Jeremy Indika

Description
In this episode of Perfect Prey, I’m joined by Ann Burgess, pioneering forensic nurse, researcher, educator, and author of Expert Witness. Ann’s groundbreaking work transformed how professionals understand trauma, victimization, sexual violence, and offender behavior. Her research has influenced criminal investigations, forensic psychology, victim advocacy, and some of the most well-known criminal cases in modern history.

Together, we explore the long-term impact of trauma, why victims are so often disbelieved, and how systems continue to fail those who come forward. Ann shares insights from decades of work studying victims, offenders, serial violence, child abuse, and the psychology of coercion and control. We also discuss institutional betrayal, trauma responses in children and adults, family court failures, pornography, grooming, and what it takes to create meaningful change within systems that were never designed to fully protect victims.
What we cover
Ann Burgess’s pioneering work in victimology and forensic nursing

How trauma impacts behavior across the lifespan

Why victims are often disbelieved by systems and institutions

Institutional betrayal and systemic failures

Coercive control, fear, and psychological abuse

Trauma responses in children and adolescents

Child sexual abuse and delayed disclosure

Family court, victim credibility, and expert testimony

The role of pornography and grooming in abusive behavior

The Menendez case and evolving understandings of trauma

Why trauma-informed education is critical for professionals

How offender thinking patterns develop and escalate

Why listen
If you are a survivor, clinician, attorney, advocate, educator, or protective parent, this episode offers a rare opportunity to hear from one of the most influential voices in trauma and victim research.

Ann Burgess’s work helped shape how we understand trauma today. Her insights illuminate why victims respond the way they do, why systems often misunderstand those responses, and why meaningful reform requires us to listen more closely to survivors’ experiences.

Guest Bio
Ann Burgess, DNSc, APRN, FAAN is an internationally recognized forensic nurse, researcher, educator, and author. She is a professor at Boston College and has spent decades studying trauma, victimization, sexual violence, serial offenders, and forensic mental health.

Ann's groundbreaking research on rape trauma syndrome helped transform the understanding of victim responses to sexual assault. She has consulted with the FBI's Behavioral Science Unit, contributed to offender profiling research, and served as an expert witness in numerous high-profile cases.

She is the author of several books, including Expert Witness, which chronicles her work at the intersection of trauma, criminal behavior, and justice.

Connect with Ann Burgess
Book: Expert Witnesshttps://www.amazon.com/stores/Ann-W.-Burgess/author/B0H13DQXPP?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_3&qid=1780604748&sr=1-3&shoppingPortalEnabled=true&ccs_id=9489809f-1ae4-4998-b8db-a0cbcc536d23
Boston College Faculty Profile: https://www.bc.edu

Connect with Dr. Christine
Protective Parenting Program: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/services/for-parents/
Dr. C’s Community: https://go.drcocchiola.com/innercirclecommunity
Official site: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrCocchiola-coercivecontrol/videos
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.c_coercivecontrol
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol/
TEDxTalks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp2qByKOue4&t=24s
Books:
https://url-shortener.me/c/FramedBook
https://url-shortener.me/c/EveryMomentOfEveryDay

If this episode landed for you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it, subscribe for more trauma-informed conversations, and consider leaving a review — it helps other survivors find validation and safety.

— Dr. Christine Cocchiola & Ann Burgess

In this solo episode of Perfect Prey, Dr. Christine Cocchiola explores the connection between coercive control, childhood trauma, attachment, and the growing number of children being diagnosed with ADHD and other behavioral disorders.

Dr. Cocchiola challenges listeners to consider a critical question: what if many of the behaviors we label as “problematic” are actually trauma responses? What if children living within coercively controlling family systems are being misunderstood rather than truly seen?

Drawing from the work of Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, Dr. Gabor Maté, Dr. Bruce Perry, and betrayal trauma theory, this episode examines how trauma can manifest as fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses in children — and how coercive control fractures attachment, identity, safety, and regulation.

Dr. Cocchiola also discusses how predatory parents weaponize children, how attachment is intentionally disrupted, and why protective parents play such a critical role in healing and rebuilding safety for their children.

What we cover
This episode is essential listening for protective parents, clinicians, educators, advocates, and anyone trying to better understand trauma, child behavior, and coercive control.
How trauma can mimic ADHD symptoms
Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn trauma responses in children
Coercive control within family systems
How predatory parents fracture attachment intentionally
Why dysregulated children are often misunderstood
Attachment, authenticity, and child development
Trauma, dissociation, and emotional regulation
The impact of coercive control on school performance and behavior
Why children exposed to abuse may appear oppositional or disengaged
Protective parenting and reigniting attachment
Broken attachment, broken safety, and “broken brain”
How systems often pathologize traumatized children instead of protecting them
Why listen
If you are raising a child impacted by coercive control, navigating post-separation abuse, or working professionally with children and families, this episode offers a trauma-informed framework for understanding behavior through the lens of attachment and survival.

Dr. Cocchiola invites listeners to shift away from asking “What’s wrong with this child?” and instead ask: “What happened to this child?”

Connect with Dr. Christine:
Protective Parenting Program: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/services/for-parents/
Dr. C’s Community: https://go.drcocchiola.com/innercirclecommunity
Official site: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrCocchiola-coercivecontrol/videos
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.c_coercivecontrol
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol/
TEDxTalks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp2qByKOue4&t=24s
Books:
https://url-shortener.me/c/FramedBook
https://url-shortener.me/c/EveryMomentOfEveryDay

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who may need this conversation, subscribe to Perfect Prey, and leave a review — it helps other survivors and protective parents find support and validation.
🩵
— Dr. Christine Cocchiola

In this episode of Perfect Prey, I’m honored to be joined by Judith Herman, one of the world’s foremost pioneers in trauma research and recovery.

Dr. Herman is the author of the groundbreaking books Father-Daughter Incest, Trauma and Recovery, and Truth and Repair—works that fundamentally changed how we understand trauma, complex trauma, institutional betrayal, and survivor healing.

Together, we discuss the origins of trauma theory, the women’s movement that brought survivor voices into public consciousness, the devastating lifelong impact of childhood abuse and coercive control, and why children living in unsafe family systems are so deeply affected—even when the abuse is not overtly physical.

We also explore the ACEs study, attachment, institutional failures, protective parenting, intergenerational trauma, and the critical role of safe relationships in healing.

This is an essential conversation for survivors, clinicians, advocates, educators, attorneys, judges, and anyone seeking a deeper understanding of trauma and recovery.

What we cover
The origins of trauma and complex trauma theory

How the women’s movement changed the understanding of abuse

Dr. Herman’s groundbreaking work on incest and child sexual abuse

The lifelong mental and physical health impacts of childhood trauma

The ACEs study and adverse childhood experiences

Coercive control, family violence, and child development

Isolation as a tactic of abuse and coercive control

Why children exposed to family violence are profoundly harmed

Protective factors that help children heal from trauma

Attachment, belonging, and the importance of safe relationships

Institutional betrayal and why survivors must be heard

Protective parenting and rebuilding connection with children

Why listen
If you are a survivor, protective parent, clinician, advocate, educator, researcher, or legal professional, this episode offers foundational insight into trauma, coercive control, attachment, and recovery.

Dr. Herman’s work helped shape the modern understanding of trauma and continues to guide how we think about healing, institutional accountability, and the long-term impact of childhood abuse.

Guest bio (short)
Judith Herman, MD, is a psychiatrist, researcher, professor, and internationally recognized pioneer in the study of psychological trauma. She is the author of Father-Daughter Incest, Trauma and Recovery, and Truth and Repair, groundbreaking works that transformed the understanding of trauma, complex PTSD, and survivor recovery.

About Dr. Judith Lewis Herman
Guilford Press: https://www.guilford.com/author/Judith-Lewis-Herman?srsltid=AfmBOopF18dr2S7Z0VoukbbZiSSvNFY7XqwmoLAmoT2OykKgsoR2T4fY

Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judith_Lewis_Herman

Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/contributors/judith-l-herman-md

Connect with Dr. Christine:
Protective Parenting Program: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/services/for-parents/
Official site: https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrCocchiola-coercivecontrol/videos
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.c_coercivecontrol
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol/
TEDxTalks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp2qByKOue4&t=24s
Books: https://url-shortener.me/c/FramedBook
https://url-shortener.me/c/EveryMomentOfEveryDay

If this episode landed for you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it, subscribe for more trauma-informed conversations, and consider leaving a review — it helps other survivors find validation and safety.
🩵
— Dr. Christine Cocchiola & guest Dr. Judith Herman