Shrink For The Shy Guy

• Stop Fearing Others Feelings

  In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz dives into one of the most subtle yet powerful patterns that drives social anxiety and people-pleasing: the fear of other people’s feelings. Ever find yourself unable to say no, worrying you’ve upset someone, or constantly trying to make sure everyone feels okay, even at your own expense? This episode exposes the hidden contract behind those patterns: the belief that you’re responsible for managing other people’s emotional states. Whether it’s guilt when someone’s sad, panic when they’re angry, or discomfort even when they admire you, this episode helps you finally break free. You’ll learn how this core fear is rooted in outdated childhood wiring and how you can begin to rewire your system so you’re no longer held hostage by others’ moods. Through powerful examples and real-life metaphors, Dr. Aziz shows you a way out of emotional over-responsibility and into a life of greater freedom, truth, and inner peace. You’re not here to manage everyone’s feelings. You’re here to live your life.” 🎧 Ready to stop walking on eggshells and reclaim your emotional freedom? Tune in now and learn how to stay centered even when others feel upset.----------------------------------------------------------- Ever feel like you’re walking through life on emotional eggshells? You say yes when you want to say no. You soften your words to avoid upsetting someone. You apologize even when you haven’t done anything wrong. If you relate to that—this message is for you. Because what’s really going on isn’t just conflict avoidance… it’s fear. Specifically, the fear of other people’s feelings. The Hidden Fear Driving Nice People Most “nice” people think their problem is caring too much. But beneath that is a quiet, anxious belief: “If they feel bad, it means I’m bad.” You might not say that out loud, but it runs the show. Someone’s disappointed in you? You feel guilt. Someone’s angry? You feel panic. Someone’s sad? You feel pressure to fix it. It’s as if their emotions automatically become your responsibility. But here’s the truth: you were never meant to manage other people’s feelings. The Unspoken Contract You Never Signed Somewhere along the way, you adopted a silent rule: “It’s my job to make sure everyone around me feels good.” This “emotional management contract” runs deep. It might have started in childhood—trying to keep peace in your family, soothe a stressed parent, or calm the tension in the room. Over time, your nervous system learned: Safety = everyone else is okay. That worked back then. But as an adult, it keeps you trapped. You become hyperaware of others’ moods, scan faces for disapproval, and feel anxious any time someone around you is upset. “You can’t live your purpose if you’re constantly managing everyone’s emotions.” How to Break the Contract Freedom begins with a radical new truth: You are not responsible for anyone else’s emotional state. That doesn’t mean you stop caring or turn cold. It means you stop trying to control how others feel. When someone is upset, you can still be kind, compassionate, and curious—without collapsing into guilt or scrambling to fix it. You might say, “I hear that this is hard for you,” while also staying grounded in your own truth. This is emotional adulthood. Two people. Two nervous systems. Each responsible for their own feelings. The Practice of Emotional Freedom Start simple. When you notice that urge to make someone feel better, pause. Take a breath and remind yourself: “They are an adult. They can manage their own emotions. I can manage mine.” That single thought reclaims your energy, your peace, and your presence. Over time, you’ll stop flinching when people are upset. You’ll stop over-apologizing. You’ll stop fearing disapproval. And you’ll start showing up as the real you, grounded, open, and free. You Can Be Loving Without Losing Yourself Being kind doesn’t mean being controlled. Being compassionate doesn’t mean being compliant. You can love deeply and hold your center. The next time someone around you feels disappointed, angry, or sad—let them. You don’t have to fix it. You just have to stay present. Because when you stop fearing others’ feelings, you finally start living your own life.

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• Healing The Cause Of Social Anxiety & People Pleasing

  In this vulnerable and revealing episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz returns from a life-changing couples workshop with a fresh insight into what really causes social anxiety and people-pleasing and how to heal it from the inside out. Most people try to overcome self-doubt by repeating affirmations, striving harder, or becoming their “ideal” version of themselves. But as Dr. Aziz explains, this fantasy self is actually wrapped around a much deeper wound: a core belief that we’re not enough or not lovable as we are. Drawing from powerful moments during the retreat, he unpacks how insecure attachment leads to chronic feelings of unworthiness and how our attempts to “fix” ourselves only deepen the cycle. You’ll learn how the path to lasting confidence doesn’t come from becoming more, but from reconnecting with your authentic self, one that is already whole and worthy. Using a powerful metaphor of braided ropes, Dr. Aziz helps you see the loop you might be caught in and how to step out of it for good. "Everything is changeable. 100%. It’s not about becoming someone else. It’s about coming home to who you already are." Ready to heal the root of social anxiety and step into real freedom? Tune in now and rediscover your worth. ---------------------------------------------- Have you ever wondered why you still feel not enough, no matter how much you achieve, improve, or try to please? Why confidence sometimes feels like an act, and connection like a test you can fail? What if the real issue isn’t that you’re broken but that you were never fully bonded? In this episode, I want to take you deeper to the root of social anxiety and people pleasing. Because beneath the awkward moments, the self-doubt, and the endless striving lies something much more fundamental: a missing sense of I’m okay as I am. The Real Source of “I’m Not Enough” At the heart of social anxiety isn’t fear it’s disconnection. When you were young, something subtle but powerful happened: a gap formed between the love and security you needed and what your environment could provide. It wasn’t your fault, and it doesn’t mean your parents didn’t love you. But that gap created what psychologists call insecure attachment a deep, body-level sense of I’m not safe, I’m not held, I’m not enough. “Social anxiety and people pleasing aren’t personality flaws—they’re attachment wounds trying to feel safe.” That unease in your body becomes the foundation of every “I’m not enough” story: “I’m not interesting enough.” “I’m not attractive enough.” “I’m not confident enough.” We try to fix the feeling by building a better self—a “fantasy self”—that will finally be lovable. But that striving only tightens the knot. The Fantasy Self Trap When we feel not enough, we look for clues about who we should be. Dad liked when I was smart? Be the smart one. People admire success? Chase success. Everyone loves charm? Learn to perform. Piece by piece, you build your fantasy self the polished, perfect version of you who finally earns love, approval, and belonging. But here’s the painful secret: no matter how many boxes you check, the emptiness doesn’t go away. The rope of your life twists endlessly between two strands—the blue rope of not-enoughness, and the orange rope of the fantasy self. Around and around you go… striving, achieving, collapsing. Until you realize: the problem was never you. It was never the missing strand. It was believing you needed to become someone else to be loved. The Way Out: Relearning Love The healing of social anxiety and people pleasing isn’t about becoming your fantasy self—it’s about coming home to your real self. “You don’t need to earn love. You need to experience being loved as you are.” This isn’t theory. It’s a retraining of your nervous system—a gradual, embodied relearning that you are safe, seen, and worthy exactly as you are. You don’t fix it with affirmations. You heal it through experience: letting yourself be seen, receiving care, allowing love in. That’s the work and yes, it’s vulnerable. But it’s also freedom. Coming Home to Yourself This isn’t a quick fix. It’s a practice, like learning to move your body again after years of tension. You build it by showing up, by practicing openness, by letting go of the fantasy self one thread at a time. And then one day, you wake up and realize—you don’t need to become enough. You already are. Because confidence isn’t built on pretending to be someone else. It’s born the moment you finally allow yourself to be you.

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• How To Keep Going When You're Discouraged

  In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz offers powerful insight into what to do when you feel like giving up. Whether you're trying to build confidence, face your fears, or push through challenges, there are times when progress feels slow and resistance feels overwhelming. Dr. Aziz unpacks the real reason we feel discouraged and why it’s often not about the actual results we’re getting. You'll discover how unrealistic expectations and unconscious comparisons can drain your motivation and how to shift back into momentum with self-compassion and clarity. Packed with honesty, humor, and actionable tools, this episode is a reminder that you're not broken, you’re just human. And the key to long-term change isn’t forcing yourself forward, but learning how to keep going with heart. 🎧 Feeling stuck? Tune in now and reignite your courage to keep moving forward—no matter what. ------------------------------------- Ever have one of those days where you just don’t have it in you? You’ve been working on your confidence, trying to speak up, take risks, connect more—but then something happens. You freeze in the meeting. The conversation flops. Someone says “no.” And suddenly that old voice kicks in: “See? You’ll never change.” That voice pulls you down fast. You stop taking action. You retreat. You tell yourself you’re “just busy” or “need a break.” But what’s really happening is something deeper—something every courageous human faces on the path to confidence. The Doubt Storm Whenever you stretch beyond your comfort zone, you awaken an old gravitational force I call the doubt storm. It’s that heavy pull toward discouragement, self-criticism, and hopelessness. You start circling the drain with thoughts like: “I’m never going to figure this out.” “Something’s wrong with me.” “It always ends this way.” And once that story takes over, it feels impossible to fight. But this is where real confidence begins—not in the easy wins, but in your capacity to weather the storm without giving up. “Confidence isn’t built in your victories. It’s built in the moments you refuse to quit.” 1. Be the Mountain in the Storm The most powerful thing you can do when discouragement hits isn’t to fix it—it’s to stop running from it. Imagine yourself as a mountain. The storm comes, winds howl, rain lashes against you—but the mountain doesn’t move. It stays steady. Set a timer for five minutes. Sit. Breathe. Notice what’s happening: Breath. Feel the air move in and out. Thinking. Name the thoughts: “thinking.” Feeling. Name the emotion: “sadness,” “fear,” “frustration.” Sensation. Notice where it lives in your body. Sound. Listen to the room around you. This practice grounds you. You don’t have to solve the storm—just outlast it. It always passes. 2. Recenter: How Am I Steering? Once the storm quiets, you’ll see clearly again. Now ask yourself: “How am I steering my life right now?” Most suffering doesn’t come from circumstances—it comes from how we’re relating to them. You can’t control if someone says yes or no. You can’t control the outcome of a meeting or a date. But you can control how you show up. “You can’t steer the storm, but you can steer yourself.” Choose to play the long game. Choose curiosity over desperation. Choose connection over control. 3. Keep Showing Up Your only real job is to keep showing up for your growth. Not perfectly. Not fearlessly. Just consistently. Because every time you face a setback and keep going, you’re reprogramming the story of who you are—from “someone who can’t” to “someone who persists.” You’ve Got This Confidence isn’t a straight line. It’s a spiral—up, down, forward, backward. But if you stay in the process long enough, you will win. You’ll speak freely, connect deeply, and move through life with the calm power of someone who knows their worth. So when the next storm comes, don’t panic. Be the mountain. Breathe. And remember: this is how confidence is built—one courageous choice at a time.

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• Boost Confidence And Kill Anxiety At The Same Time

  In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz reveals the secret to boosting confidence while dissolving anxiety and it’s not another breathing exercise or mindset hack. It’s a deeper shift in how you see yourself and how you approach life. Most people try to overcome fear by gritting their teeth and pushing through. But what if you could unlock a bold version of yourself that actually wants the challenge? Dr. Aziz introduces the powerful identity of the Bold Explorer a part of you that thrives on uncertainty, risk, and discovery. Whether you're working to speak up at work, approach someone you're attracted to, or just stop overthinking every social interaction, this episode gives you a new way to show up with strength, courage, and yes, more fun. Ready to activate the version of you that’s fearless, adventurous, and fully alive? Tune in now and start living like the bold explorer you were born to be. --------------------------------------------- If you’ve tried all the “calm down” hacks—meditations, breathing apps, mantras—and still find anxiety waiting for you at work, on dates, or before you speak up… this is for you. There’s a faster path than soothing your nerves in the moment: change who’s showing up. When you do, confidence rises and anxiety dissolves—without white-knuckling your way through it. “Confidence isn’t something you earn— it’s something you remember.” The One Shift: Become the Bold Explorer Anxiety spikes when the “stay-safe” part of you takes the wheel. Instead, step into a different identity: the Bold Explorer—the part of you that seeks growth, welcomes the unknown, and chooses meaningful risk over comfortable stagnation. Explorers don’t wait to “feel ready.” They move toward the edge on purpose. Try this: Before a conversation, meeting, or date, pause and say (quietly or aloud), “I’m a Bold Explorer. Let’s see what’s here.” Notice how your posture, breath, and tone shift toward grounded courage. “Boldness is always rewarded: with aliveness, with wisdom—and often with wins.” Why This Kills Anxiety (and Builds Real Confidence) Most people dip a toe outside their comfort zone, endure the fear, then retreat. That trains your body to associate growth with threat. The Explorer flips the script: discomfort becomes a signal of aliveness, not danger. When your brain interprets the moment as chosen adventure, your nervous system calms and capability expands. Two guaranteed payoffs every time you act boldly: Aliveness — You feel more awake, present, and powerful. Wisdom — You learn faster through doing than by rehearsing in your head. Make It Practical: An Explorer’s Daily Reps Name the Expedition. What’s today’s “edge”? Speaking up once in a meeting? Starting a conversation? Sending the pitch? Write it down each morning: “Today’s exploration = ___.” Use the 5% Rule. You don’t need to cliff-jump. Reveal 5% more, ask one deeper question, take one bolder step than yesterday. Anchor the Identity (Cold Shower Primer). Tomorrow morning, take a 30–60 second cold shower. Not for biohacking bragging rights, but to train your brain: I move toward what’s uncomfortable on purpose. Then carry that energy into the first bold action of your day. “Don’t wait to feel brave. Act—then let your feelings catch up.” Final Word: This Is Who You Are You’re not building a new self from scratch—you’re remembering the part of you that has always been willing to try, to learn, to live fully. When the Explorer leads, anxiety loses its grip because there’s nothing to defend—only something to discover. You can do this. Stand a little taller. Breathe deeper. Choose one bold step today. And watch how confidence rises while anxiety quietly fades into the background.

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• Stop This For 7 Days To Transform Your Confidence

  In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz issues a bold 7-day challenge that just might transform your confidence: stop apologizing. Not when you bump into someone, but the deeper, more compulsive “I’m sorry” that leaks out when you speak up, have needs, or reveal who you are. If you’ve ever found yourself saying “Sorry to bother you” or “I’m sorry, that was probably too much…”—this episode is for you. Dr. Aziz reveals why chronic apologizing isn't just a bad habit—it's a deep, unconscious signal that says “I’m not allowed to exist as I am.” You’ll learn how these little apologies sap your power, disconnect you from others, and reinforce toxic self-doubt. Packed with stories, humor, and a clear 7-day “apology fast” experiment, this conversation will help you ditch the reflex, reclaim your voice, and show up unapologetically real. Ready to stop shrinking and start owning your space? Tune in now and begin your 7-day confidence reboot.---------------------------------------------- How many times did you apologize today? If you’re like most people, it’s probably more than you realize. “I’m sorry” slips out when we bump into someone, when we speak up, when we share something personal, and when we even exist in a way that might inconvenience someone. But here’s the truth: you’re not being polite—you’re being powerless. For one week, I want to challenge you to stop apologizing unnecessarily. What happens next might shock you. The Addiction You Don’t Realize You Have Over-apologizing feels harmless—like good manners. But in reality, it’s an emotional addiction. Every “I’m sorry” is a tiny attempt to soothe discomfort. You’re trying to make sure no one’s upset, that no one disapproves, that everyone’s okay with you. It’s a self-soothing reflex, just like reaching for sugar or scrolling endlessly on your phone. It gives you a micro-hit of safety… at the cost of your power. The moment you say “sorry” when you’ve done nothing wrong, you send a subconscious message to yourself: “I’m a problem. I shouldn’t exist this way.” And you don’t just say it once—you reinforce it dozens of times a day. The Cost of Compulsive Apologizing At best, this habit makes you seem uncertain. At worst, it damages your confidence and your relationships. When you apologize for having an opinion, for asking a question, or simply for speaking up, people don’t feel more comfortable around you—they feel disconnected. It’s like you shared a genuine moment, and then poured cold water all over it. I’ve seen clients apologize for being seen: “I’m sorry, I know I’m talking too much.” “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you.” But when you say sorry for simply being human, what you’re really saying is: “I’m sorry for who I am.” And that is the one apology you must stop making—forever. The 7-Day Apology Fast Let’s make this practical. For the next seven days, go on what I call an Apology Fast. That doesn’t mean you never apologize. Real apologies—where you’ve acted outside your values or hurt someone are powerful and healing. But all the other ones? The nervous, automatic, I just want you to like me apologies? Those go. Here’s how: Notice it. Catch yourself the moment you say “sorry.” Interrupt it. Imagine the gentle but firm correction: “Ah-ah. Leave it.” (Yes, like training a puppy!) Replace it. Instead of “sorry,” say something direct and grounded. Try “thank you for your patience,” “excuse me,” or simply say nothing at all. Keep score. See if you can reduce your unnecessary apologies each day. The Real Transformation When you stop apologizing for existing, something beautiful happens: You start to take up space. You start to feel solid. You start to respect yourself. And that shift ripples outward. People listen more closely. You speak more clearly. You move through the world as someone who knows—deeply—that they belong. So, for seven days, no unnecessary “I’m sorry.” Just you unfiltered, unapologetic, and free. Because confidence doesn’t come from being perfect. It comes from finally realizing you have nothing to apologize for.

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