Shrink For The Shy Guy

Feeling self-conscious or insecure often feels like an unavoidable part of life, but it doesn't have to be. In today's episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz reveals the surprising way to feel less insecure and unlock your confidence: shift your focus outward. When you're insecure, your attention collapses inward, creating a loop of self-criticism and hyper-awareness. Instead of helping, this fixation often amplifies discomfort and reduces your ability to connect or perform. The secret? Focus less on yourself and more on others. Observe their actions, ask questions, or notice details like their interests or even their clothing. This simple practice can break the cycle of self-focus, reducing anxiety and creating natural, authentic connection. "Confidence isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being present," says Dr. Aziz. By shifting your attention from "me" to "we," you'll not only feel more grounded, but you'll also realize how little your perceived flaws matter. Start small today: pick one thing to notice about the people you interact with, such as their eye color or what excites them. The more you practice this, the more your insecurities fade into the background, leaving room for true confidence to grow. --------------------------------------------- Do you often find yourself feeling insecure or overly self-conscious? You’re not alone. In fact, many people, even the most successful, capable, and attractive individuals, experience these feelings. But what if I told you that your insecurity might not have anything to do with your actual abilities or how others see you? Instead, it could be about where your focus is going. Let's explore how you can feel less insecure by simply shifting your attention. Insecurity Doesn’t Reflect Your Value Most people think insecurity comes from a place of lack—that something is missing in their personality, appearance, or skills. Maybe you’ve felt this way too. You might think, “I’m not smart enough, attractive enough, or worthy enough for this situation.” But here’s the liberating truth: insecurity and self-consciousness are often completely disconnected from how others perceive you. They’re more about your own internal narrative. "Your insecurity doesn’t equal others looking down on you. It’s all an internal experience, often not visible to those around you." So, when you feel insecure or self-conscious, remember—it’s a feeling you’re having, not a reflection of how others see you. You might be assuming others are thinking something negative about you when, in reality, they may not even be paying attention to you the way you think they are. The Focus of Insecurity: It’s All About You When you’re feeling insecure, where does your attention go? That’s right—you start hyper-focusing on yourself. “Am I doing this right? Did I say the wrong thing? Does my voice sound shaky? Are they judging me?” Insecurity creates a loop where you become obsessed with how others perceive you. The more you focus on yourself, the more you feel anxious. In fact, the more you try to control or perfect every aspect of yourself to avoid judgment, the worse it gets. Ironically, this self-obsession often leads to performance anxiety and stress, making your presentation, conversation, or interaction even less effective. "The more you try to perfect yourself, the more you create performance anxiety, which decreases your effectiveness and amplifies insecurity." The Secret to Freedom: Focus on Others Here’s the twist: The solution to your insecurity is to stop focusing on yourself. When you expand your focus outward, you release the pressure to be perfect and open yourself up to real, meaningful connections. This shift from self-absorption to genuine curiosity about others is the key to overcoming self-consciousness. I worked with a client who often felt insecure in social situations. His self-focus was so intense that he couldn’t fully engage with others. So, I suggested he try something different: observe and focus on other people, particularly on their clothing choices, their body language, and their interests. The more he did this, the less he focused on himself and the more relaxed he felt. "When you focus on others, you free yourself from self-judgment and open up to deeper connections." Putting It Into Action: Your Step Toward Confidence Here’s your action step for today: Practice focusing on others. Whether it’s noticing the details of people’s clothing or listening deeply to their stories, consciously direct your attention outward. This simple shift will make you feel less self-conscious and more connected. The more you practice, the more your insecurities will fade into the background. Remember, you don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be present with others. As you do this, your self-consciousness will shrink, and your confidence will grow. "By focusing on others, you can stop policing yourself and start living authentically." Try this out today and see how it feels. You’ll be amazed at how much more relaxed and confident you can be when you stop obsessing over yourself and start connecting with others

True self-confidence doesn’t come from looking perfect, saying the right things, or playing a role—it comes from letting yourself be truly seen. In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz reveals the surprising magic ingredient to building lasting confidence: authentic sharing. When you allow yourself to share what’s real—your thoughts, feelings, and experiences—you break down the barriers of fear and self-doubt. Instead of hiding behind a mask, you show up as your true self, and in doing so, you create genuine connection and trust with others. This level of vulnerability isn’t always easy, but it’s where real confidence lives. Start small: share 5% more of your authentic self in your next conversation and notice the difference. If you're ready to claim 2025 as the year you show up fully and boldly, tune in and discover how unveiling yourself can transform your confidence forever. ---------------------------------------------------------- Are you struggling with self-confidence? It might surprise you to know that the magic ingredient isn’t about changing your appearance, gaining more knowledge, or getting a perfect track record. In fact, it’s something far more powerful—and it’s not about you at all. I’m Dr. Aziz, and in today’s episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, I’ll reveal the counterintuitive secret to building true self-confidence in 2025. The best part? You can start practicing it right now. The Key to True Confidence: Letting Yourself Be Seen The secret to true self-confidence isn’t more self-help tools or tricks. It’s about one thing: sharing. Not just sharing your favorite hobbies or where you’re from, but allowing yourself to be seen and known as you are right now. This means being authentically yourself, even in moments when it feels uncomfortable. I call it “unveiling yourself,” and it’s the key to breaking down barriers in your social life and relationships. When you let others see who you really are, the magic of confidence starts to build, because confidence is not about pretending to be someone else—it’s about fully showing up as the person you truly are. “Intimacy is not about sex. It’s about being seen for who you truly are.” Why We Hide Ourselves—and How to Stop For many, opening up and sharing who we truly are can feel risky. We worry that we’ll be judged, rejected, or misunderstood. Maybe you’ve tried to fit in by playing a role or saying the things you think people want to hear. But here's the truth: playing a role doesn’t build confidence—it breeds anxiety. True confidence comes from showing up authentically and letting people see the real you. When you “unveil” yourself, it’s about being honest about what you’re feeling in the moment. Whether it's vulnerability, anxiety, or joy, when you share that openly, you invite deeper connection. And that’s the essence of confidence. Intimacy is Key A common misconception about intimacy is that it’s tied only to romantic relationships. But intimacy is about true connection, whether it’s with your partner, a friend, or even a stranger. Intimacy comes when you allow someone to see into you, and you do the same for them. Most people aren’t comfortable with this level of intimacy. It’s risky, and it’s not always easy. But the beauty of intimacy is that it strengthens relationships and deepens bonds in a way that surface-level small talk never can. “The more you share, the stronger your connection becomes, and your self-confidence builds with every real interaction.” The Power of Vulnerability When I met my wife Candace, I decided to do things differently. I didn’t want to hide behind any role or act. I wanted to be real, even if it meant feeling vulnerable. Instead of asking what I should say to impress her, I focused on what was true for me and shared that. What I found was shocking: Being vulnerable didn’t push her away. Instead, it drew us closer and built a deeper connection. And, as a bonus, it boosted my confidence because I no longer had to pretend to be someone I wasn’t. Your Action Step for Today It’s time for you to practice unveiling yourself. Start small—pick one relationship in your life and share a little bit more than you normally would. Let yourself be seen and known for who you really are, even if it’s just 5% more than usual. As you practice, you’ll notice something amazing: Not only will your relationships deepen, but your confidence will grow. And the best part? You’re going to feel more authentic and connected than ever before. “When you let go of the need to hide and share your true self, you unlock a powerful, unshakable confidence.” So, are you ready to claim 2025 as the year you step into your authentic self? Practice unveiling yourself, and watch your self-confidence soar. Let me know how it goes!

In this first episode of 2025, Dr. Aziz kicks off the year with a powerful question: Is 2025 going to be your year? While the future holds uncertainty, Dr. Aziz emphasizes that you can still claim this year as yours—not because you can predict every outcome, but because of how you choose to show up in every moment. With humor, insight, and a touch of personal vulnerability, he explores how our mindset, attitude, and willingness to embrace both patience and bold action determine the quality of our experiences, regardless of circumstances. Dr. Aziz shares reflections on the power of claiming your path, leaning into challenges, and adopting a sense of certainty that transcends momentary setbacks. He introduces the concept of being “guided by your future self,” a perspective inspired by his studies with Donny Epstein, the creator of Network Chiropractic. Whether it’s adopting patience, cultivating resilience, or committing to bold actions, Dr. Aziz encourages listeners to anchor themselves in a powerful intention for the year ahead. To wrap up, he invites you to declare aloud (or in your mind, if you’re surrounded by people), “2025 is going to be my year because…” Fill in that blank with your truth, your vision, and your commitment. As challenges inevitably arise, this declaration serves as your north star, keeping you focused and aligned with your goals. Welcome to 2025—let’s make it your year. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Welcome to 2025! As we dive into the new year, you might be wondering, Will this year be your year? The truth is, while none of us can predict exactly what the future holds, there’s one thing we can control—how we approach it. I’m Dr. Aziz, and in this episode, I’m challenging you to stop waiting for perfect circumstances and start claiming your power. The truth is, confidence is not about waiting for everything to align perfectly. It’s about choosing to stand strong no matter what life throws your way. The Power of Claiming Your Year You might wonder, how can you say 2025 is going to be your year when you don’t even know what’s coming? Here’s the secret: You don’t need to know. When we let life passively happen to us—waiting for good things to come or trying to avoid bad ones—we’re giving away our power. In this episode, I break down why life is full of uncertainty, and why that can either hold you back or drive you forward. Instead of letting uncertainty create anxiety, use it to fuel your confidence. Instead of seeing challenges as obstacles, see them as opportunities for growth. What if everything that happens, good or bad, could be part of your greater plan? The key is to claim your year by focusing on what you’re going to create and how you’re going to show up. Your Confidence is an Inside Job So, how do you make 2025 your year? The first step is realizing that your confidence doesn’t come from external events or circumstances. It’s an inside job. If you tie your sense of worth and happiness to things outside of you—like recognition, success, or approval—you’ll always be at the mercy of external forces. But when you realize that your worth is inherent, that you don’t need others’ approval to validate your existence, everything changes. That’s how you build unshakeable confidence. So, ask yourself: What would 2025 look like if you fully owned your value, no matter what’s happening in the world around you? Adversity is Part of the Journey The reality is, adversity will come. Challenges are inevitable. And just like I learned in my own life and through working with countless others, how you respond to adversity is what defines your success. Instead of viewing setbacks as something to fear or avoid, I encourage you to see them as part of the process. As I shared in my upcoming book Doubtless, uncertainty is not something to fear but to embrace. It’s where all growth and transformation happen. Here’s a powerful action step for you: Take a moment to say out loud, “2025 is going to be my year because...” Let the words flow from you. Maybe it’s because you’re going to show up with more courage. Maybe it’s because you’re going to take bold actions, practice patience, or trust yourself like never before. 2025 is going to be your year—not because the circumstances will be perfect, but because you’re choosing to take control of your response. You’re choosing confidence over fear. You’re choosing to show up no matter what. And that, my friend, is the true key to success. Claim Your Year Now As you move forward into 2025, take it one day at a time. Know that challenges will arise, but you have the tools to face them. With every step you take, no matter how small, you’re moving closer to a more confident version of yourself. In the words of my mentor Donnie Epstein, you are already who you need to be. The future you’re aiming for is already there; it’s just a matter of stepping into it. Embrace that power, and let’s make this your year of confidence and success. Until next time, may you have the courage to be who you are and know, deep down, that you're awesome. Let’s make 2025 a year to remember.

This reflective holiday episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy dives into the idea of giving yourself a profound, transformative gift this season—the gift of being on your own side. Dr. Aziz begins by acknowledging the universal concept of gift-giving during this time of year and how it ties into deeper self-reflection. Whether you celebrate Christmas, another holiday, or simply embrace the season as a time for rest and connection, this episode explores a different kind of gift—a gift that directly impacts your confidence and sense of self-worth. Dr. Aziz shares a touching client story to illustrate how distorted self-perceptions often hold people back, despite external evidence of their worth and capabilities. He emphasizes that confidence is an inside job, urging listeners to shift their internal dialogue and challenge toxic self-perceptions. Through practical advice, he highlights the importance of offering yourself the love, praise, and acknowledgment you may have been withholding. With humor and insight, Dr. Aziz leaves listeners with a powerful action step: identify the praise and recognition you long to hear from others and begin to offer it to yourself. This holiday season, take the opportunity to become your own biggest supporter and transform your confidence from within.-------------------------------------------------------------------- The Greatest Gift You Can Give Yourself This Holiday Season It’s the season for giving, and if you celebrate Christmas, you’re probably thinking about what gifts to give others. Whether it’s the perfect present for a loved one or a thoughtful gesture, giving is a big part of this time of year. But here’s the twist: What if the best gift you could give isn’t something you wrap up for someone else—it’s something you give yourself? In this episode, we’re not talking about bubble baths or new gadgets (though those are nice, too). We’re diving into the profound gift of self-love and self-acceptance—the gift that can transform your confidence and your entire experience of life. The Inside Job: Confidence Comes From Within One of the most powerful insights I’ve learned in my 20 years of personal growth is that confidence is an inside job. It’s never about the external circumstances—your paycheck, appearance, or recognition from others. Sure, those things can give you a temporary boost, but real, lasting confidence comes from how you see yourself on the inside. And yet, so many people struggle with this. I recently spoke with a client, a beautiful and capable woman, who scored incredibly low on a confidence assessment I use. Despite her many strengths, she couldn’t see herself the way others did. She felt unworthy, unattractive, and not enough. And even though she intellectually acknowledged that her perception was distorted, it still felt true. This is where the gift comes in. If you can begin to shift your perception of yourself, that’s the real transformation. But how? Stop Starving Yourself of Self-Love What if you stopped waiting for external validation? What if you gave yourself the gift of love, approval, and acceptance right now, without needing anyone else’s permission? For years, my client had been withholding these gifts from herself. She had been stuck in a pattern of self-criticism, not allowing herself to feel worthy or confident. And this had created a painful, long-standing “starvation” of self-love. But here’s the thing: You don’t have to wait another decade to feel good about yourself. You can start today by choosing to be on your own side. Instead of looking to others for validation, start practicing self-acknowledgment. See the beauty, strength, and positive qualities in yourself. Challenge the negative stories you’ve been telling yourself. When you realize that confidence comes from within, you stop relying on external sources to tell you who you are. You get to define it. Your Action Step: Give Yourself the Gift of Praise Here’s a powerful action step to help you give yourself this gift: Think about the kind of praise or recognition you crave. What would you love to hear from someone important in your life? A loved one, a boss, a friend—what would make your heart swell if they said, “You’re amazing because….” Write down those things. Don’t just let this exercise pass by. If you feel resistance, take note of it. That’s your inner critic trying to stop you from feeling good about yourself. Instead, sit with it and write out five things you would love to hear. These are the words that you need to give yourself, today. Confidence is Yours for the Taking Confidence is not something you have to wait for. It’s something you can choose to cultivate. It’s about stepping into your own power, taking ownership of how you see yourself, and practicing the gift of self-love, every single day. So this holiday season, give yourself the gift of being on your own side. Stop starving yourself of love and approval, and instead, fill yourself up with positive affirmations, praise, and belief in your own worth. It will change everything. Happy holidays, and may 2025 be the year you step into the most confident, bold, and authentic version of yourself!