Shrink For The Shy Guy

• The Hidden Dangers of People Pleasing

  Are you caught in the gentle current of people-pleasing? In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz breaks down the hidden dangers of being “too nice”—how it shows up in everyday decisions, subtly steers your life off course, and costs you more than you realize. With real-life stories (including a surprising run-in with a John Deere salesman), Dr. Aziz shows how saying “yes” when you mean “no” drains your power—and how to reclaim it. 🎧 Listen now to stop living for others’ approval and start living as the real you. ------------------------------------------------------- People-pleasing—sounds harmless, right? After all, isn't it just about being a nice person, accommodating others, and making sure no one gets upset? But here's the reality: people-pleasing is a dangerous game that subtly chips away at your confidence and can lead to big, negative consequences over time. Whether it's in your personal relationships, your career, or even your finances, playing nice can backfire, leaving you feeling unfulfilled and disconnected. In today’s episode, I’m going to break down the hidden dangers of people-pleasing and share powerful insights on how to start stepping into your authentic self, without the need to please others at the expense of your own well-being. If you’ve ever found yourself overcommitting or avoiding necessary conflicts just to keep others happy, this episode is for you. The Cost of People-Pleasing We all know that one person—maybe it’s you—who just can’t say no. Whether it’s lending money to friends and family, accommodating people’s demands at work, or giving up your personal time to make someone else happy, these behaviors seem harmless at first but can lead to resentment, burnout, and feeling like you’re not truly living for yourself. A big part of this people-pleasing pattern is avoiding conflict. The idea is to keep everyone happy, even if it means sacrificing your own needs. But this constant accommodation keeps you from making decisions that are right for you. Over time, this gives rise to feelings of frustration, unfulfillment, and even emotional exhaustion. The Hidden Signs of Low Confidence People-pleasing doesn’t just affect how you feel about yourself—it also impacts how others see you. One of the first signs of low confidence is subtle body language: avoiding eye contact, slouching, or adopting a posture that makes you appear smaller. These small actions communicate a lack of self-assurance, and while they may seem harmless, they reinforce the idea that you’re not worthy of standing tall in your own life. Another hidden sign is hesitancy in your voice tone. When you’re uncertain of yourself, you might end your sentences with a rising tone, almost as if you’re asking a question instead of making a statement. This lack of certainty can make others feel uncertain about you too, undermining your confidence and credibility. The Freedom of Saying “No” What if you could embrace the power of saying “no” without guilt or fear? That’s right—by breaking free from the need to please everyone, you start to reclaim your personal power. Imagine not having to justify yourself every time you set a boundary or choose to do what’s best for you. Setting boundaries is not only healthy but necessary for building real confidence. For example, when I tell my kids they can only play on their iPad for an hour, they might protest. They may call me “mean,” but it’s my responsibility as a parent to set limits for their benefit. It’s the same in all areas of life: saying “no” when needed shows you’re taking ownership of your decisions, and that is what builds true confidence. Step into Your True Power People-pleasing may feel safe and familiar, but it ultimately holds you back from becoming the confident, authentic person you’re meant to be. The key to breaking free from this cycle is to start saying no, setting boundaries, and practicing direct communication—even when it feels uncomfortable. Your confidence will grow as you take ownership of your life, make decisions based on your values, and stop trying to please everyone around you. The more you practice being authentic, the more you will step into the powerful version of yourself that’s always been waiting to emerge. Take Action Now So, what’s the first step? Start by reflecting on the costs of people-pleasing in your life. Think about the situations where you’ve sacrificed your needs to make someone else happy. What impact has this had on you? The more you see the true cost of constantly trying to please others, the more you’ll realize that this is not the life you want to lead. Remember, saying “no” isn’t just about rejecting others—it’s about choosing yourself. And when you start making choices that honor your needs, your confidence will naturally follow. You are worthy of being your true self, and it's time to stop letting people-pleasing stand in the way of your authentic, powerful life. As always, until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you truly are, and to know on a deep level that you are awesome.

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• Confidence Lessons From 2,000 Rejections

  In this empowering episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz sits down with sales expert Colin Yearwood, who helps coaches and entrepreneurs grow their businesses by mastering the skill of sales—without manipulation or pressure. Colin shares his powerful journey from avoiding sales entirely to embracing it as a vehicle for freedom, purpose, and service. You’ll hear how he overcame the fear of rejection, stopped giving his services away for free, and discovered how sales can be one of the most selfless things you do when done with heart.Whether you’re a coach, creative, or just someone who wants to feel more empowered asking for what you want in life, this conversation will give you the tools to stop fearing sales—and start seeing it as a way to help others. Listen now and discover how changing your mindset around selling can transform your business, your confidence, and your life. ------------------------------------------------------------- In this engaging episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz is joined by Colin Yearwood, a sales expert who helps coaches, consultants, and entrepreneurs grow their businesses by mastering the skill of sales. Colin shares his fascinating journey from hating sales to embracing it as one of the most important tools for helping others—and for creating a life of freedom and purpose. Are You Afraid of Selling? You're Not Alone For many, the thought of selling is fraught with fear and discomfort. Colin confesses that he used to despise selling, even going so far as to give away his services for free. But that changed when a mentor pushed him to confront his resistance. He learned that selling isn't about convincing or manipulating others—it's about serving and guiding people to the resources they need to improve their lives. Why Selling Can Be a Force for Good Colin explains that selling isn't about pushing products or services on people who don't need them. Instead, it’s about helping others get the solutions they’re looking for—solutions that could make a meaningful difference in their lives. He says, "Selling is one of the best things you can do if you want to make a difference in the world." Through sales, you can reframe people’s thinking, offer them clarity, and help them bridge the gap between where they are and where they want to be. The Key to Sales: Confidence and Detachment One of the core lessons Colin teaches is the importance of being unattached to the outcome of a sales conversation. He encourages people to shift from a place of neediness—where the focus is all on getting the sale—to a place of serving, where the focus is on genuinely helping the person you're talking to. This mindset shift not only makes you more confident, but it also makes the sales process more authentic and less stressful. The Real Story Behind Rejection A common fear in sales (and life) is the fear of rejection. Many people take it personally when someone says no. Colin dispels this myth by reminding us that rejection isn't about you—it's about the offer. He explains, "They’re not saying no to you. They’re saying no to the offer, not the person." This shift in perspective can make a huge difference in how you approach sales conversations and navigate the inevitable no's. What Mindset Helps You Succeed in Sales? Colin shares that his mindset going into any sales conversation is one of curiosity, empathy, and openness. Instead of focusing solely on closing the deal, he focuses on understanding the person he's talking to—what their needs are, what their challenges are, and how he can help them overcome them. This approach leads to better sales outcomes and deeper connections with potential clients. Sales Is Just Another Way to Build Connections At the heart of sales is connection. Colin points out that the best salespeople are those who approach every conversation with an open heart and a genuine interest in helping others. This means showing up authentically, being willing to listen, and not getting caught up in the fear of rejection or the need to make a sale. When you focus on connection, the sales process becomes much more natural—and far less intimidating. Takeaways: The Power of Sales and Service For anyone struggling with the fear of selling or worrying that they’re being “too pushy,” Colin’s advice is simple but profound: "Selling is about service. It's about helping people get what they need." By embracing this mindset, you can shift your approach to sales—and life—away from fear and manipulation, and towards authenticity, connection, and genuine support. Get Out of Your Own Way Colin reminds us that the key to success in sales (and life) is showing up as the best version of yourself. The more you invest in your personal growth, the more naturally your sales skills will improve. And even if you're not a natural-born salesperson, with the right mindset and the willingness to learn, you can succeed and make a meaningful impact on others. Listen Now for More Sales Wisdom This episode is packed with invaluable insights for anyone looking to overcome their fear of selling and build a successful business based on serving others. Whether you're in sales, entrepreneurship, or just looking to improve your confidence in life, Colin’s story and expertise will inspire you to shift your mindset, embrace the process, and start showing up with confidence. Final Thought: Selling doesn’t have to be about manipulation or pushiness. It can be about connection, service, and helping people make a positive change in their lives. By embracing this mindset, you’ll not only improve your sales skills—you’ll also create deeper, more authentic relationships and open doors to greater success and fulfillment. Listen to the full episode for more practical tips and powerful advice on overcoming fear and rejection in sales and turning your fear into confidence.

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• Confidence Lessons From 2,000 Rejections with Colin Yearwood

  In this revealing episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz takes you deep beneath the surface of people-pleasing to uncover the root cause of "nice" behavior—and how to break free from it once and for all. Whether it’s avoiding conflict, constantly agreeing, or feeling guilty for asserting yourself, these behaviors are all symptoms of one deeper fear. Dr. Aziz shows you how to stop managing a dozen surface habits and instead zero in on the core emotional driver that keeps you stuck in patterns of approval-seeking and guilt. You’ll learn why the real path to confidence and freedom isn’t about “trying harder” to be assertive—it’s about upgrading your internal rules and learning how to handle the uncomfortable feelings you’re trying to avoid. 🎧 If you’ve ever felt trapped by niceness or frustrated by your inability to speak up, this episode is your roadmap out. Tune in now and start stepping into your bold, authentic self.----------------------------- Sales often gets a bad rap. It’s seen as manipulative, transactional, and something that “pushy” people do. But what if sales could be a tool for good? What if it was about helping others, building real connections, and empowering them to make decisions that could transform their lives? In today’s episode, I’m sitting down with Colin Yearwood, a sales expert who has helped countless coaches, consultants, and entrepreneurs navigate the world of sales with confidence and integrity. Colin’s journey into sales wasn’t a straightforward one—he was a self-described “late bloomer.” For years, he hated selling and avoided it, offering discounted work and even giving away services for free. But when he realized that in order to grow his business and help people, he had to get comfortable with selling, everything shifted. Through a combination of personal development and sales strategy, Colin transformed his mindset and his approach. Now, he sees selling as one of the most powerful tools for creating meaningful change in people’s lives. The Heart of Sales: Serving, Not Manipulating A common fear many people have when it comes to sales is that it’s manipulative. The idea of convincing someone to buy something they don’t need feels icky. But Colin explains that the problem isn’t selling—it’s how you sell. If you approach sales with the mindset of serving others, listening to their concerns, and finding the best solution for them, then you’re not manipulating, you’re helping. One of the biggest shifts Colin experienced was moving away from desperation. When you need the sale to feel worthy or successful, your energy will shift, and people will sense that. Instead, Colin encourages focusing on what’s best for the person you’re speaking with. Being unattached to the outcome of the sale frees you up to show up authentically and let the conversation unfold naturally. Stand-out Quote: “When you show up centered and focused on the other person, not on making the sale, that’s when the magic happens.” The Fear of Rejection: How to Embrace ‘No’ Sales, like dating, involves rejection. And let’s be honest—nobody likes it. But rejection doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Colin explains that a “no” from someone doesn’t mean you’re unworthy—it simply means your offer wasn’t the right fit for them at that time. The key is not to take rejection personally. When you stop seeing rejection as a reflection of your worth, it becomes easier to navigate and move forward. To get better at handling rejection, Colin recommends focusing on learning from the conversation rather than obsessing over what went wrong. After every sales call or interaction, take a moment to reflect on what went well and what could be improved. This practice allows you to build on your successes and grow from your mistakes, creating a continuous cycle of improvement and confidence. Stand-out Quote: “When you get a ‘no,’ see it as an opportunity to learn and refine your approach, not a sign of failure.” The Power of Curiosity and Energy in Sales Conversations Sales isn’t about talking someone into something they don’t need; it’s about listening to their needs, understanding their challenges, and offering a solution. Colin emphasizes the importance of curiosity. Instead of just following a script, be genuinely curious about the person you’re talking to. Ask questions that dig deeper, and truly listen to their responses. This allows you to align your offer with what they truly need. One of the most powerful things Colin does before a sales call is get himself into the right mindset. He spends time grounding himself, setting intentions, and reminding himself that the conversation is about serving, not just closing a deal. This preparation helps him show up with confidence and clarity, and it shifts the energy of the conversation. Stand-out Quote: “The more curious you are, the more connected you’ll be to the person on the other side of the conversation.” Turning Sales into a Personal Growth Journey Colin’s approach to sales is more than just a strategy—it’s a mindset shift. By focusing on personal development, emotional intelligence, and being present in each conversation, you can transform the sales process into a tool for personal growth and meaningful connection. The more you practice, the better you’ll get. Action Step: Reflect on your own mindset around sales. Do you fear rejection? Do you feel like selling is manipulative? Shift your focus to the person you’re serving. What do they need? What can you offer that would genuinely improve their life or business? By approaching sales as an act of service, you’ll start to feel more confident and less attached to the outcome. If you want to learn more about Colin’s approach to sales and personal growth, be sure to check out his website ColinYearwood.com and explore the resources available to help you master the art of selling with authenticity and confidence. In Conclusion: Embrace the Journey Sales is a journey of self-discovery, vulnerability, and growth. The more you show up with authenticity, curiosity, and a servant’s heart, the more you’ll connect with others and create opportunities for meaningful success. Remember, it’s not about making the sale—it’s about making a difference. Are you ready to stop fearing rejection and start selling with confidence?

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• Remove People-Pleasing At It's Roots

  Why do you avoid conflict, over-apologize, or say “yes” when you really mean “no”? In this powerful episode, Dr. Aziz unpacks the deeper reasons behind people-pleasing and “nice” behavior—and reveals what’s really driving it. You’ll discover that these habits aren’t just random quirks—they’re part of a system designed to keep you “safe” by earning approval and avoiding disapproval. But this comes at a huge cost: your authenticity, your confidence, and your freedom. Dr. Aziz shares key signs of hidden people-pleasing and offers a compelling invitation to look at what you’re really afraid to feel. Once you understand the emotional root of these patterns, you can start breaking free—not by fixing a dozen behaviors, but by going straight to the source. 🎧 Ready to reclaim your voice and stop living by invisible rules? Listen now to start your journey toward greater confidence and true self-expression.-------------------------------------------------------- Have you ever found yourself bending over backward to please others, saying yes when you really wanted to say no, or avoiding confrontation because you’re scared of what might happen if you speak your truth? If so, you’re not alone. People-pleasing behaviors can show up in many areas of life—from romantic relationships to work and even friendships. The good news? You don’t need to fix every single behavior. Instead, we’re going to dig into what’s really at the root of these patterns and how you can change them from the inside out. The Hidden Costs of People-Pleasing We often think of people-pleasing as just being “nice,” but the truth is, there’s a huge difference between being kind and being overly accommodating to the point where it harms your emotional well-being. People-pleasing behaviors are typically driven by an intense fear of rejection, disapproval, or conflict. You might find yourself avoiding conflict at all costs, smiling when you're upset, or agreeing with everything someone says—even if you don’t believe it. Stand-out Quote: “People-pleasing isn't about kindness—it's about seeking approval to feel safe and accepted.” Some of the most common signs of people-pleasing include: Avoiding conflict: You might avoid difficult conversations or disagreeing with others because you fear their reaction. Smiling when upset: Masking your true feelings with a smile or laugh, even when you’re uncomfortable. Excessive agreeing: You nod or say “yes” to everything, even when it’s not what you truly want, just to keep the peace. These behaviors might seem harmless at first, but over time, they can lead to a sense of being disconnected from your true self. You start to feel as though you're living for others and not for yourself, which can be emotionally exhausting and even leave you feeling resentful or invisible. What’s at the Root of People-Pleasing? When you break down the people-pleasing behaviors, you’ll find one thing at the core: fear. Fear of rejection, fear of upsetting someone, fear of being judged, and ultimately, fear that you won’t be good enough. It’s the fear that if you don’t follow the unspoken rules—like always agreeing with others or avoiding conflict—you won’t be loved, accepted, or valued. But here’s the key realization: You don’t need to keep playing by these rules. The rules are simply a collection of beliefs that you’ve internalized over the years. You don’t have to keep following them if they aren’t serving you. The Power of Feeling Your Feelings One of the most effective ways to break free from people-pleasing is to stop avoiding uncomfortable feelings. When you’re constantly trying to avoid upsetting people or making them feel uncomfortable, you’re also avoiding your own discomfort. This avoidance keeps the cycle going. Instead of running from the fear of rejection or conflict, feel it. Yes, it might be uncomfortable, but here’s the game-changer: Your ability to feel and tolerate discomfort is the key to breaking free. When you can sit with those emotions and still act authentically, you’ll find that you are not only stronger but also more aligned with your true self. Stand-out Quote: “When you break the rules of people-pleasing, you’re breaking free to become your true, authentic self.” The Path to Freedom: A Practical Step Here’s your action step for today: Pick one rule you’ve been living by—maybe it’s always saying yes when you mean no, or avoiding difficult conversations—and imagine breaking that rule. Picture yourself saying “no” when you usually say yes, or speaking up when you usually stay quiet. Ask yourself: What do you fear will happen? What’s the worst-case scenario? More often than not, the fear is exaggerated, and you’ll realize that you can handle the discomfort that comes with it. Take a moment to feel that discomfort fully. It’s not as bad as it seems, and the more you practice this, the easier it becomes. Remember, breaking free from people-pleasing is a journey, not a destination. With each step, you’ll feel more empowered, more authentic, and more connected to your true self. Embrace Your True Self People-pleasing doesn’t make you a good person—it makes you a person who is disconnected from their own truth. By starting to challenge the rules you’ve been following, you can begin the process of reclaiming your power. You can stop living for others and start living for yourself. You are worthy of love, respect, and connection just as you are. It’s time to embrace your authentic self—without the fear, the guilt, or the need to please anyone else. You are enough. Remember, it’s not about being “good” according to someone else’s standards—it’s about being true to yourself.

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• How To Tell If You're Too Desperate

  Do you worry you're coming off as too needy—in dating, friendships, or business? In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz breaks down what “neediness” really is, why it’s often just fear in disguise, and how to shift from anxious grasping to calm confidence. You’ll learn how to spot the difference between healthy desire and emotional urgency—and what to do when you feel that panicky “I need this to go right” energy. 🎧 Tune in now and discover how to feel more secure, grounded, and powerful—no matter the outcome.--------------------------------------- We’ve all experienced moments of feeling needy or desperate, whether in our romantic lives, friendships, or even at work. It’s uncomfortable, and the fear of being seen as desperate can be overwhelming. But is feeling needy always a bad thing? How can we distinguish between legitimate wants and a destructive need that can repel others? In today’s episode, we're diving deep into the question: Are you too needy? We’ll explore why you might feel desperate, how it shows up in your life, and, most importantly, how to break free from the cycle. Get ready for some powerful insights that will change the way you see your own behavior and give you the tools to navigate this tricky emotion with confidence. The Fine Line Between Wanting and Needing Have you ever felt like you absolutely needed someone or something to make you feel okay? Whether it’s a person responding to a text, a job offer coming through, or your partner’s approval, that shift from "I want" to "I need" can bring a lot of tension and anxiety. The moment you start thinking, “I need this,” you’re attaching your emotional well-being to something outside of yourself, which can lead to feelings of desperation. The key distinction here is that need often comes from a place of fear. It’s no longer just a passing desire; it’s become something that feels essential to your survival—emotionally speaking. That fear of not getting what you “need” creates a sense of urgency and tension, which can manifest in all areas of your life, from your personal relationships to your career. Stand-out Quote: “It’s not about what you want—it’s about how you’re attached to the outcome that makes all the difference.” The Real Danger of Neediness The issue with acting out neediness isn’t just that it feels uncomfortable for you—it can also push people away. Whether you’re desperately trying to make a sale or forcing a romantic connection, others can feel that desperation. No one likes to feel like they’re being used as a means to an emotional end. People can sense that kind of energy, even if it’s unspoken, and it can create resistance in the other person. As much as you may want to avoid being perceived as needy, the key is not to repress or ignore the feeling, but to understand it. It’s about getting to the root of why you feel the need for validation or approval, and ultimately learning to find that validation within yourself. The Power of Perspective and Detachment The first step in overcoming feelings of desperation is gaining perspective. Ask yourself, “What would happen if I didn’t get what I wanted?” In most cases, you’d be okay. You’d survive, and the world would keep turning. The difference lies in how much weight you put on the outcome. If you're feeling desperate, it’s crucial to step back and examine the root cause. Are you attaching your worth to someone else’s approval? Or are you relying on an external outcome to validate your emotions? By shifting your focus inward and recognizing your intrinsic value, you can begin to break free from the need for external validation. Instead of approaching the situation from a place of fear, approach it with confidence in who you are, regardless of the outcome. Practical Tips to Break Free from Desperation Here’s a powerful practice to help you navigate moments of neediness or desperation: Identify Your Emotional Urgency Take a moment to notice when you’re feeling desperate. On a scale from 1 to 10, how strongly do you feel the need for something external to happen in order for you to feel okay? Recognizing this urgency is the first step to loosening its grip on you. Create Space Around the Feeling Instead of acting on the impulse to “do something” about the situation, take a few deep breaths and allow yourself to feel the emotion fully. Give yourself the space to soften the intensity of the urgency. Shift Your Focus Reconnect with your values and your internal sense of worth. What is important to you? What do you value most in life? By focusing on what truly matters to you, rather than on the external outcome, you can release the pressure and operate from a place of strength. Embrace Freedom and Self-Worth It’s okay to feel needy at times—it’s a natural human emotion. But it’s crucial to recognize when neediness is coming from a place of fear or scarcity. When you learn to detach your emotional well-being from the external, you can build a deeper sense of confidence and freedom. Remember, the most powerful thing you can do is come from a place of want, not need. When you live with a clear sense of self-worth and confidence, you won’t be desperate for anyone else’s approval. You’ll be free to go after what you want without fear, and you’ll attract the right people and opportunities into your life. So, are you ready to let go of the desperation? Your confidence and authenticity are your greatest strengths. Start living from that place today and watch how your relationships and experiences shift.

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