659 episodes
- You've been told for years that if you just cared less, you'd care less. You've probably tried. It hasn't worked. Not because you didn't try hard enough, but because the advice was pointed at the wrong target.
In this episode, Dr. Aziz walks through what's actually happening in your nervous system when you can't stop replaying the meeting, wondering if that text was worded right, or worrying about how the last conversation landed. He unpacks the specific formula your nervous system wired up in childhood, why just have more confidence doesn't reach the layer where the pattern lives, and what actually starts to shift it.
This episode covers:
Why caring less is impossible advice (and what's actually running the pattern)
The equation your nervous system installed between ages 4 and 10
Why highly confident, successful people still can't stop replaying the meeting
The one shift that starts to unwire disapproval-equals-danger
Discover your approval type. Take the 2-minute quiz at https://www.draziz.com
Watch episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrAzizGazipura
Work with Dr. Aziz directly:
The Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind is a year-long program for people ready to unwire this pattern at the nervous system level. Application at https://www.socialconfidencecenter.com/ucmv3.
Connect:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drazizconfidencecoach
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drazizgazipura - Ten people tell you the presentation was great. One person emails you afterward and says something dismissive. Which one plays in your head for the next three days? You already know the answer.
In this episode, Dr. Aziz shares a hate email he received today, contrasts his current reaction with how the same message would have wrecked him a decade ago, and unpacks what actually changed in between. He walks through why some criticism cuts to the core while other criticism bounces off entirely, and the three layers of internal shift that make the difference.
This episode covers:
Why some criticism cuts deep and other criticism doesn't (it isn't what you think)
The hate email Dr. Aziz got today, and why his reaction shocked him
The email that used to wreck him back when he was building his list
What actually changes when someone genuinely stops needing everyone to approve
Discover your approval type. Take the 2-minute quiz at https://www.draziz.com
Watch episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrAzizGazipura
Work with Dr. Aziz directly:
The Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind is a year-long program for people ready to unwire this pattern at the nervous system level. Application at https://www.socialconfidencecenter.com/ucmv3.
Connect:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drazizconfidencecoach
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drazizgazipura - This episode is different from most of what Dr. Aziz makes.
It's the story of what twenty years of social anxiety actually felt like, told from his own life rather than through clinical examples or composite clients. The moment it began, at age 11, in a new school where he wore the wrong socks and felt himself starting to disappear. The middle school dance where he was having the time of his life until he overheard two kids in the bathroom mocking everyone who was dancing, and walked out having quietly decided he wouldn't dance again for a decade. The bread-aisle moments in college, when he would freeze in front of an attractive woman at the toaster and pretend to look at the jam. And the night he finally turned, not on his eight-thousandth try at thinking his way out of it, but in a moment that came from somewhere deeper than thought.
The version of Dr. Aziz you see now looks like someone who never went through any of this. He did. Severely. For two decades. This episode is what it actually felt like, and what finally broke him out.
Discover your approval type. Take the 2-minute quiz at https://www.draziz.com
Watch episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrAzizGazipura
Work with Dr. Aziz directly:
The Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind is a year-long program for people ready to unwire this pattern at the nervous system level. Application at https://www.socialconfidencecenter.com/ucmv3.
Connect:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drazizconfidencecoach
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drazizgazipura - You leave the party, the barbecue, the work mixer. You're exhausted. You've been telling yourself for years that's just how introverts work. Maybe. Or maybe what you've been calling introversion has been doing a different kind of work in your life: holding the underlying anxiety in place by labeling it as personality.
In this episode, Dr. Aziz makes a careful distinction. Real introversion exists. But most of what people call being introverted is something else: anxiety wearing the costume of introversion. He walks through the patterns that actually drain you in social settings, and shares a story about going from being drained after three hours of therapy sessions to leading 10-12 hour workshops feeling fully energized.
This episode covers:
What real introversion is, and what most people are mistaking for it
The five patterns that drain you in social situations while you're calling it introversion
How Dr. Aziz went from drained after three therapy hours to energized after full workshop days
The principle: you can be an introvert and love being around people, as long as you're fully self-expressed
Discover your approval type. Take the 2-minute quiz at https://www.draziz.com
Watch episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrAzizGazipura
Work with Dr. Aziz directly:
The Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind is a year-long program for people ready to unwire this pattern at the nervous system level. Application at https://www.socialconfidencecenter.com/ucmv3.
Connect:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drazizconfidencecoach
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drazizgazipura - You walk into the meeting. The room is full. The next three minutes turn into a slow-motion nightmare where you can't access your own intelligence or charm. You've called this insecurity and tried to fix it with more confidence. The fix has never quite worked.
In this episode, Dr. Aziz explains why self-consciousness isn't actually an insecurity problem. It's a monitoring problem. You're tracking ten variables about yourself at the same time (eye contact, voice tone, blushing, posture, rambling, on and on), and the monitoring is what's eating your capacity. He shares a story about a client who was considering medical interventions to stop blushing because he was convinced it was wrecking his career, and the realization that finally let him see what was actually running.
This episode covers:
Why self-consciousness isn't an insecurity problem (it's a monitoring problem)
The 10-variable list exercise that makes the mechanism visible
Why the smoke alarm in your kitchen is the right metaphor for your shaky voice
The training move that shifts the pattern (and why talking yourself out of it doesn't)
Discover your approval type. Take the 2-minute quiz at https://www.draziz.com
Watch episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrAzizGazipura
Work with Dr. Aziz directly:
The Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind is a year-long program for people ready to unwire this pattern at the nervous system level. Application at https://www.socialconfidencecenter.com/ucmv3.
Connect:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drazizconfidencecoach
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drazizgazipura
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About Authentic Confidence with Dr. Aziz
Do you worry what other people will think? Does it make you doubt yourself, feel guilty, and ultimately stop you from being fully yourself?
This can show up as people-pleasing and difficulty saying no. Or as social anxiety, staying silent in meetings, replaying conversations for hours afterward.
Dr. Aziz Gazipura is a clinical psychologist and bestselling author of Not Nice. He's helped thousands of people break free from self-doubt and the fear of others' opinions.
After 20 years of clinical work, Dr. Aziz discovered one pattern running underneath all of it. He calls it the approval trap: prioritizing approval over being yourself, saying what you mean, and going for what you actually want.
This show is for the person who looks confident on the outside and doesn't feel it on the inside.
New episodes every Wednesday.
Next Steps:
1. Discover your approval type.
Take the 2-minute quiz to find out which of the four patterns is running your work, dating, and social life — Diplomat, Avoider, Fixer, or Performer:
www.draziz.com
2. Apply for the Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind.
Dr. Aziz's flagship year-long program for serious work on confidence, authenticity, and freedom from self-doubt:
https://www.socialconfidencecenter.com/ucmv3
3. Watch on YouTube.
Every podcast episode is also available as a video, plus additional content not on the podcast:
https://www.youtube.com/@DrAzizGazipura
4. Read Dr. Aziz's books:
- Not Nice
- The Art of Extraordinary Confidence
- Doubtless
- On My Own Side
- Less Nice, More You
- The Solution to Social Anxiety
5. Connect:
Website: www.draziz.com
Facebook: facebook.com/DrAzizGazipura
Instagram: @drazizconfidencecoach
TikTok: @drazizgazipura
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drazizgazipura
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