Rebuilding Self-Worth After Emotional Abuse with Dr. Jill Rosenthal
In this episode of "That's Where I'm At," host Laura and guest Dr. Jill Rosenthal, an award-winning Harvard and Stanford educated physician who retired after a 35+ year career and became certified as a wellness and mindset coach, share their personal journeys through trauma, loss, and healing. Dr. Rosenthal’s extensive experience and training, coupled with her own transformation from a stressed, overworked, unhealthy physician, wife, and mother into a happy, healthy, thriving coach, make her uniquely equipped to help others release unconscious thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that hold them back, so they can create their dream life. Together, Laura and Dr. Rosenthal discuss the impact of emotional and psychological abuse, the challenges of rebuilding self-worth, and the importance of processing difficult emotions. Through candid conversation, they highlight the power of storytelling, community, and self-compassion in overcoming adversity and reclaiming one’s life after trauma. Introduction & Coping Mechanisms (00:00:00) Discussion on comfort habits, dopamine hits, and how people push away uncomfortable feelings. Podcast Introduction & Guest Bio (00:00:40) Laura introduces the podcast, shares her mission, and presents Dr. Jill Rosenthal’s background and transformation. Dr. Jill’s Personal Journey (00:02:16) Dr. Jill summarizes her life challenges, including loss, illness, and her shift from medicine to coaching. Impact of Trauma & Feeling Stuck (00:03:30) Exploring how trauma, stress, and feeling stuck affect decision-making and self-worth. Coping with Trauma & Childhood Programming (00:05:41) Discussion on trauma responses, childhood experiences, and how they shape adult coping mechanisms. Effects of Emotional Abuse & Decision Paralysis (00:06:45) Laura and Dr. Jill discuss the impact of long-term emotional abuse on the ability to make decisions. Gaslighting & Narcissistic Abuse (00:09:09) Laura explains gaslighting, shares her experience, and introduces her book on healing from narcissistic abuse. Overcoming Conditioning & Taking Action (00:10:22) Dr. Jill describes the process of relearning decision-making and removing internal barriers to action. Overwhelm & Temporary Distractions (00:11:37) Conversation about overwhelm, avoidance behaviors, and why people turn to distractions for comfort. Pushing Away Feelings & the Bop Clown Analogy (00:12:20) Dr. Jill uses the bop clown metaphor to explain how suppressed feelings resurface and the importance of feeling them. Healing After Abuse & Setting Boundaries (00:14:23) Discussion on the necessity of healing emotional wounds, developing self-worth, and setting healthy boundaries. Patterns in Second Relationships (00:17:25) Exploring why unresolved trauma can affect new relationships and the importance of inner work before moving on. Feeling Safe After Abuse (00:18:54) The difference between rational understanding and truly feeling safe in new relationships. Conclusion & Resources (00:19:27) Closing remarks, Dr. Jill’s website and free gift, encouragement to connect, and final thoughts on healing and community. Powerful Quotes from the Episode Laura, 00:00:40, "I believe keeping secrets will make you sick, and that they always come to light in the end. As women, we're often told to be quiet, don't share your story, don't talk about the things we go through. It's making women sick, sad, and suicidal. We don't have to be on the other side to share our story." Dr. Jill Rosenthal, 00:02:29, "I went through a two and a half year period where I lost both my parents, managed their care from two to three thousand miles away, had foot reconstruction, my husband went into assisted living and now memory care for Alzheimer's disease, and I had breast cancer—surgery, radiation, chemotherapy. There was so much that would make your average person just run screaming from the room. But Jill 2.0 is thriving and happy despite all of the stuff that's going on. There's still stuff going on—my husband is in memory care and doesn't know who I am the last couple of weeks. I'm getting called every other day because he's hitting, kicking, and punching the staff. So I have things to deal with, but it doesn't have to take me down." Dr. Jill Rosenthal, 00:03:30, "My treatment for my cancer eventually led to a disability retirement from my 35-year medical practice. It was sad, because I loved my patients, I adored my team, I loved what I did, and it was probably killing me with stress. We're so used to taking that—the stress accumulates. We're like the frog in boiling water. Although I was not in a marriage of abuse, my first husband wasn't great to me emotionally, but not like what a lot of people are dealing with. I get what happens when you feel like you have no choices, when you feel stuck in a situation and you can't get out, and when it impacts and changes your thoughts and feelings. You just sort of go, 'Oh, woe is me.' I get that." Laura, 00:05:41, "I remember towards the end, when you're in psychological and emotional abuse, your brain—I just remember my brain was mush. It had been 33 years. My brain was mush. I couldn't make any choices because, exactly, every choice was wrong. So I did feel stuck in a lot of ways, even just making simple decisions. I remember even after leaving my marriage, talking to my therapist and her saying, 'Just say yes to some good things and see if you like them.' Because I'm like, 'I don't know.' I call myself Laura 2.0. I think it's great, but it's so true. We're not dead, so we're not done. There's still time to do what you want to do. But I just remember going, 'I don't know what's next.'" Laura, 00:09:09, "I spent 33 years with someone who made me feel like I was the problem for everything that was wrong in our lives." Laura, 00:12:14, "I need sunshine. I am a houseplant. I need oxygen and sunshine and some water." Dr. Jill Rosenthal, 00:15:49, "Unless you heal this, you're still carrying it around. It's on your shoulders, it's in big, heavy suitcases—the old ones, not the ones with the spinner wheels that you just kind of roll. Unless you heal it, it's still there, and it's still talking to you, and you're still feeling it. So you take it everywhere you go." Dr. Jill Rosenthal, 00:16:44, "If you've been in a relationship where somebody has really beaten you down like that, you have to heal the damage that's been done to your psyche, and you have to heal that feeling of self-worth. You have to learn to get better boundaries, but you have to be able to do it in a way that is constructive." Laura, 00:20:53, "I have a heart for helping women because I felt so alone after my divorce, and I don't want anybody to feel that way." Laura, 00:21:02, "This is why we do these things, right? We didn't want anybody else to feel the way that we did." RESOURCES: YOU’RE NOT CRAZY, RECLAIMING YOUR SANITY AND SELF-WORTH AFTER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE ebook: GET IT HERE MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/marriedtoaniceguy/ COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura FOLLOW DR JILL: WEBSITE: https://drjillrosenthal.com INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/drjillx/ FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/jill.rosenthal.75 GIFT FOR YOU: https://drjillgift.com/recovery Put Down The Baggage: A Self-Healing Journal & Quick-Start Guide to Letting Go of What’s Holding You Back After Trauma Produced and edited by Resilient Voice Media. Visit us at www.resilientvoicemedia.com
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