That's Where I'm At

In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura welcomes Liberty Steele, author of Redeemed Years: From Narcissistic Darkness to Light. Believing she was entering a Christ-centered marriage, Liberty instead spent six years trapped in a relationship marked by narcissistic abuse, emotional manipulation, subtle physical abuse, and isolation. She shares how love bombing, inadequate support from church counselors, and the misuse of religious teachings kept her trapped, while her abuse was repeatedly dismissed as postpartum depression. After finding freedom, healing, and experiencing the joy of a healthy marriage, Liberty now shares her story through her book and her platform, Shine From Your Shadows, to help others recognize abuse, know they are not alone, and find hope for a brighter future.
 
Key Topics & Timestamps
Guest Introduction: Liberty Steele (00:01:29) Laura welcomes Liberty Steele, who shares her story of surviving a narcissistic marriage and finding freedom, healing, and hope.
The Isolation of Abuse in a Church Community (00:02:23) Liberty explains why she shares her story, highlighting the isolating experience of abuse within a church community.
Inadequate Church Counseling (00:04:23) Liberty describes receiving unhelpful advice from church counselors who prioritized reconciliation over her safety, even when she was locked out.
Subtle Physical Abuse (00:05:27) Liberty details the subtle physical abuse she endured, like random biting and spanking, which intentionally crossed her established boundaries.
Misinterpreting Scripture on Divorce (00:06:23) The discussion covers how scripture, particularly "God hates divorce," is often misconstrued to keep women in abusive relationships.
The Dangers of Uninformed Counselors (00:09:08) Laura shares a story about a pastor whose uninformed counseling led to a woman being murdered by her abusive husband.
Meeting on a Christian Dating Site (00:12:00) Liberty recounts meeting her ex-husband on Christian Mingle, where he mirrored her desires and engaged in love bombing.
Early Red Flags and Ignoring Intuition (00:15:14) Liberty describes feeling uncomfortable with the rushed physical intimacy on their first meeting but dismissing her gut feelings.
Moving and Mom's Premonition (00:20:05) Liberty moved across the country for him within five months, despite her mother's strong sense that something was wrong.
Extended Premarital Counseling (00:22:06) Counseling lasted nearly a year due to significant issues, including his escalating temper, which was wrongly attributed to PTSD.
The Bait and Switch Proposal (00:25:01) He proposed, then used the counselors' advice to "check in" with his ex-wife as an opportunity to cheat.
The Honeymoon Incident (00:29:25) The honeymoon began with him raging at her on the plane, leaving her sobbing in the hotel bathtub.
The Cycle of Abuse Begins (00:34:00) Liberty describes how the cycle of abuse, forgiveness, and forgetting started on the honeymoon, setting the marriage's tone.
The First Year of Marriage (00:36:04) The first year was filled with emotional abuse, including withholding affection and giving the silent treatment for weeks.
A Story of Betrayal and Isolation (00:38:06) Liberty shares a story of being harassed by a neighbor while her husband refused to defend her, blaming her instead.
Compromising to Reconcile (00:42:23) Liberty recounts being forced into a degrading sexual act to end the silent treatment, with little support from counselors.
The Problem with Couples Counseling in Abuse (00:44:18) The host explains why couples counseling is dangerous in abusive relationships, as abusers manipulate therapists and continue the abuse.
The Impact of Having a Baby (00:50:05) The abuse escalated after their baby was born, disguised as postpartum depression, and included severe sleep deprivation.
Writing "Redeem Years" and Finding Hope (00:53:59) Liberty discusses writing her book, which offers a practical toolkit and a story of hope after finding a healthy marriage.
 
Powerful Quotes from the Episode
Liberty, "It was such an isolating experience for me. You don't feel quite safe sharing it in your church community, and you're not sure who is going to accept you or support you."
Liberty, "I wasn't listening to my gut, my Holy Spirit discretion."
Liberty, "I was asking God what was going on. How could this person who just promised to love me my whole life treat me like he hated me?"
Liberty, "It even sounds crazy when you try to think of how to describe this kind of torture to other people. You don't know how to describe it in a way that they would think it was actually believable."
Liberty, "The grief has taught me how much of a gift real love and real partnership is, and that people shouldn't give up on hoping for it."
 
RESOURCES:
FOLLOW THE PODCAST: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/
COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura
MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE
JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517
RESOURCES: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/resources
 
FOLLOW LIBERTY: 
WEBSITE: Shinefromyourshadows.com
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/shine_from_yourshadows
BOOK: https://a.co/d/0fNcZnPX
 
"Real faith never asks you to sacrifice your safety for someone else's control."
 
Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com
Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura speaks with Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola, a therapeutic parenting and divorce custody coach, social justice advocate, and survivor of coercive control. Drawing from both her professional expertise and lived experience, Dr. Christine developed The Protective Parenting Program, an evidence-based, attachment-focused model that helps parents support children harmed by abusive partners. She is an internationally recognized educator on coercive control, presenting to professionals, advocates, and protective parents on the dynamics of abuse and effective intervention strategies. She is also the author of Every Moment of Every Day, co-author of FRAMED: Women in the Family Court Underworld, and her TEDx talk, It Is ALL Coercive Control, has been viewed more than 1.4 million times.
During the conversation, Dr. Christine shares her personal journey through nearly 30 years of psychological abuse and explains how coercive control extends beyond intimate relationships to manipulate children, families, and even court systems. She discusses tactics such as triangulation, reactive abuse, and the challenges protective parents face while navigating custody disputes.
Together, Laura and Dr. Christine explore the critical role of the protective parent, emphasizing that unconditional love, secure attachment, and emotional safety are some of the most powerful tools for helping children heal from abuse. They also discuss grief, rebuilding trust, and restoring family bonds after leaving an abusive relationship, offering hope and practical guidance for survivors seeking to break the cycle of coercive control.
 
Key Topics & Timestamps
Introducing Dr. Christine Marie Cocchiola (00:01:34) The host introduces guest Dr. Cocchiola, detailing her expertise in coercive control, protective parenting, and her professional work.
Dr. Cocchiola Personal Story (00:03:30) Dr. Cocchiola shares how she became an advocate at 19 and later realized she was in a coercively controlling relationship.
The Abuser's Playbook (00:05:04) The speakers discuss how abusers follow a predictable pattern of behavior, which can help victims anticipate their next moves.
Repairing Relationships with Children (00:06:38) Laura discusses repairing her relationship with her adult children after leaving her marriage and apologizing for her reactive behavior.
Reframing "Reactive Abuse" (00:07:45) Dr. Cocchiola reframes "reactive abuse" as self-defense, explaining that victims' reactions are out of character and caused by trauma.
How People End Up in Abusive Relationships (00:10:06) The speakers discuss how upbringing, whether good or bad, doesn't always predict who will end up in an abusive relationship.
Supporting Children After They Visit the Abuser (00:12:41) Dr. Cocchiola explains how protective parents can co-regulate with their children and understand their behavior is a mouthpiece for the abuser.
Defining Coercive Control (00:16:25) Dr. Cocchiola defines coercive control, explaining it includes psychological tactics, financial abuse, legal abuse, and weaponizing children.
The Smear Campaign (02:11:04) Laura shares her experience of discovering her ex-partner's long-term smear campaign against her after their divorce.
Identifying Power Dynamics in Therapy (00:24:36) Dr. Cocchiola demonstrates how a therapist can identify a power imbalance by asking specific questions about the relationship dynamics.
The Dangers of Couples Counseling (00:27:06) Laura shares her negative experience with a marriage counselor who dismissed her concerns and sided with her ex-husband.
Securing Attachment with Your Child (00:31:32) Dr. Cocchiola emphasizes creating a secure attachment by allowing children to be their authentic selves and providing unconditional love.
Abusers Fracturing Family Relationships (00:35:34) The discussion covers how abusers triangulate and pit siblings against each other to maintain control and isolate family members.
The Grief of Protective Parents (00:38:54) Dr. Cocchiola talks about the immense and disenfranchised grief protective parents experience when their relationship with their children is harmed.
Hope for Protective Parents (00:46:04) Dr. Cocchiola offers a message of hope, reminding protective parents that they are their child's greatest healer and superpower.
How to Connect with Dr. Cocchiola (00:48:18) Dr. Cocchiola shares where listeners can find her work, including her website, podcast, and TEDx talk.
 
Powerful Quotes from the Episode
Christine, "I would get rid of the word reactive abuse because when you are trapped in the den with the wolf, at some point you're going to fight back."
Christine, "I'm here to say there's no judgment if you stay. People stay for a variety of reasons, and sometimes they have to."
Christine, "The mothering that we all plan to be, the mothering we thought we'd all get to do—it's robbed from you." 
Christine, "I want you to realize that you are your child's greatest healer, that you actually have a skill set that no one else on the planet has."
Christine, "I think we forget how powerful the love we have for our children is, and we're so harmed by the abusive person we don't realize that's our superpower."
 
RESOURCES:
FOLLOW THE PODCAST: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/
COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura
MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE
JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517
 
FOLLOW DR. CHRISTINE: 
Website: www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol/
It's All Coercive Control TedX: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp2qByKOue4
Every Moment of Every Day: https://a.co/d/07qnzCqm
FRAMED: Women in the Family Court Underworld: https://a.co/d/04A40bT2
Perfect Prey: A Coercive Control Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/perfect-prey-a-coercive-control-podcast/id1704962170
 
"A protective parent's greatest strength is the unconditional love they never stop giving."
 
Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com
Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura speaks with Courtney Copeland, an Integrative Somatic Practitioner, trauma educator, and advocate who brings laughter, healing, and empowerment to clients and audiences around the world. With a Master's Degree in Human Services Counseling and certifications in Integrative Somatic Healing, Thought Field Therapy Algorithms, and other trauma-informed modalities, Courtney combines professional expertise with lived experience to help people understand how trauma impacts both the mind and body. Her work has included serving as Co-Clinical Director for the Tidewater Emergency Medical Services Critical Incident Stress Management team and providing mental health and crisis intervention training for first responders.
Together, Laura and Courtney explore how trauma is stored in the body and often manifests as physical symptoms, as well as the role of modalities such as EMDR, somatic therapy, and nervous system regulation in the healing process. Courtney explains how laughter, crying, movement, and other body-centered practices can help release trapped emotions and support recovery. They also discuss the importance of finding the right therapist, advocating for your needs in the healing journey, and building a personalized toolkit for resilience and growth.
Drawing from both her professional background and real-life experiences, Courtney offers practical, compassionate insights designed to help listeners feel seen, understood, and empowered. She also shares details about her upcoming podcast, Trauma Intersections, and her program, Start With Just One Breath, which provides accessible, body-centered tools for navigating trauma and healing.
 
Key Topics & Timestamps
Guest Introduction: Courtney Copeland (00:01:20) Laura introduces guest Courtney Copeland, an integrative somatic practitioner, and her holistic approach to processing trauma stored in the body.
Courtney's Journey into Trauma Work (00:02:18) Courtney shares her personal story of becoming a trauma professional after a career change and her education in Human Services.
How Trauma is Stored in the Body (00:03:19) An explanation of how the body keeps a record of trauma, sometimes causing emotional immaturity and physical ailments.
Identifying and Processing Stored Trauma (00:04:46) Courtney explains her approach to helping clients identify and process past traumatic events that are affecting their present behavior.
Understanding EMDR (00:08:50) The discussion covers EMDR therapy, how it works without reliving trauma, and its origins from a walk in the park.
The Importance of Professional Guidance (00:11:55) Courtney advises working with a trained professional for deep trauma work like EMDR to ensure safety and proper guidance.
What is a Somatic Practitioner? (00:14:29) Courtney explains somatic work, which uses the body's senses and holistic practices to help release stored trauma and tension.
The Body's Physical Release of Trauma (00:17:44) Discussion on how physical activities like yoga and deep breathing can trigger the release of trapped emotions through shaking or crying.
Finding the Right Therapist (00:20:31) The importance of finding a therapist who is a good fit and knowing when it's time to move on.
The Role of the Therapist (00:26:06) A therapist's job is to remain professional and supportive, creating a safe space for the client's story and emotions.
The Catharsis of Crying (00:27:39) Crying is a natural way the body regulates its nervous system and releases emotions, and it shouldn't be suppressed.
Self-Care After an Emotional Release (00:30:10) Courtney provides tips for self-care after a big emotional release, including nutrition, hydration, rest, and positive self-talk.
The Healing Power of Laughter (00:32:57) Laughter is a powerful tool for healing as it helps regulate breathing and brings light into dark emotional spaces.
Using Your Healing Toolkit (00:37:49) Healing involves using multiple tools and modalities; it's important to find what works for you and build a diverse toolkit.
Advocating for Yourself in Therapy (00:44:52) Listeners are empowered to ask therapists about their training and to leave if it's not a good fit.
Inner Child Work (00:48:05) The validity and healing power of inner child work, which involves comforting and reparenting the younger parts of yourself.
The Gut-Brain Connection (00:52:44) Courtney explains how emotional distress often manifests physically in the gut due to the vagus nerve's extensive network.
Courtney's Upcoming Projects (00:53:24) Courtney announces her new podcast, "Trauma Intersections," and two upcoming signature programs focused on healing and self-care.
 
Powerful Quotes from the Episode
Courtney, "I had an episode myself where I didn't have the support that I needed, so I went to grad school and became the person that I needed at that time."
Courtney, "I let all that go. I'm proud of myself for letting that go. You don't have to carry it anymore."
Courtney, "Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion."
Courtney, "If you have a presenting client that is outside your skill set, you need to own up to it immediately."
Laura, "That's where I found my voice, was in therapy and doing this kind of work."
 
RESOURCES:
FOLLOW THE PODCAST: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/
COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura
MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE
JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517
 
FOLLOW COURTNEY:
Website: www.thecourtneycopeland.com
Instagram Link: https://www.instagram.com/traumaintersections
Courtney's Podcast: https://podfollow.com/trauma-intersections/view
 
"Trauma may live in the body, but so does the capacity to heal."
 
Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com
Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura welcomes Mardi Winder, a Strategic Divorce Consultant, founder of Strategic Divorce Directory and Positive Communication Systems, host of The D Shift: Redefining Divorce and Beyond podcast, and creator of the Real Divorce Talks summit series. With more than 30 years of experience supporting individuals through high-conflict, complex, and high-asset divorces, Mardi specializes in helping clients navigate separation with greater clarity, confidence, and control while reducing the emotional and financial costs of the process.
Drawing from her extensive background in mediation, executive and leadership coaching, emotional intelligence, and strategic communication, Mardi shares her expertise on navigating divorces involving narcissistic abuse and coercive control. She and Laura discuss the psychological tactics abusers use, including gaslighting, smear campaigns, and trauma bonding, as well as why leaving these relationships can be so difficult. Mardi also offers practical insights into mediation, decision-making, and the importance of building the right legal and professional support team.
Throughout the conversation, both women share personal experiences and explore how narcissists often target strong, capable individuals while systematically undermining their confidence over time. This episode provides valuable education, practical resources, and reassurance that healing, empowerment, and a healthier future are possible after abuse and divorce.
 
Key Topics & Timestamps
Navigating Mediation in High-Conflict Divorces (00:00:00) Mardi advises on using mediation, knowing your bottom line, and having an attorney on call to review any agreements.
Podcast Introduction (00:01:00) Host Laura introduces the "That's Where I'm At" podcast, its mission to share stories, and help women heal.
Guest Introduction: Mardi Wender (00:01:59) Laura welcomes strategic divorce consultant Mardi Wender and shares her extensive background in high-conflict divorce, mediation, and coaching.
Mardi's Journey into Divorce Consulting (00:03:43) Mardi explains her background in family mediation, domestic violence advocacy, and how she transitioned to coaching targets of narcissists.
Laura's Mediation Experience (00:07:08) Laura reflects on her own mediation, wishing she had representation and knew about narcissistic abuse and coercive control tactics.
Pets and Kids in Abusive Relationships (00:10:48) Mardi discusses how pets and children are often used as leverage, making it difficult for victims to leave.
The Trauma Bond and Feeling Stuck (00:11:35) Laura and Mardi discuss the trauma bond and how abusers erode their partner's confidence, making them feel incapable of leaving.
The Slow Erosion of Self-Esteem (00:13:25) Laura shares how her ex-husband chipped away at her self-worth, making even her own father doubt her independence.
Extreme Manipulation and Smear Campaigns (00:14:32) Mardi shares a story of a client whose husband drugged her to create a false narrative that she was an alcoholic.
Gaslighting and Finding Clarity (00:16:10) Laura describes being gaslit into believing she was "crazy" and how understanding narcissistic abuse helped her start to heal.
The Neuroscience of Narcissism (00:19:52) Mardi discusses the brain differences in narcissists and psychopaths, explaining why they lack conscientiousness and see everyone as a threat.
"Super Traits" and How They're Exploited (00:23:01) Mardi explains how narcissists weaponize their partner's positive traits like loyalty, honesty, and commitment to maintain control.
The Blame Game and Maintaining Integrity (00:24:28) Laura discusses how abusers shift blame, making their victims feel responsible for the relationship ending, despite the abuser's actions.
Extreme Acquiescence in Abusive Relationships (00:25:54) Mardi shares a story of a client who was so manipulated she allowed her husband to bring sex workers home.
Brainwashing and Cult-Like Dynamics (00:28:44) Mardi explains the elements of brainwashing and compares the dynamic in these relationships to being in a "cult of one."
The Narcissist's Need for a Partner (00:33:12) Mardi explains that narcissists are empty vessels who need a partner for "narcissistic supply" and to maintain appearances.
First Date Red Flags (00:35:28) Mardi offers tips for spotting a narcissist early on, such as turning questions back on them and testing their flexibility.
Mardi's Podcast and Summits (00:37:30) Mardi talks about starting her podcast to provide resources and hosting free divorce summits to help people heal.
The Power of Sharing Stories (00:40:03) Laura and Mardi discuss the importance of women sharing their stories and connecting with each other for support and healing.
 
Powerful Quotes from the Episode
Mardi, "I tell people it's literally like you've been a hostage, and you wouldn't ask a hostage to negotiate with the person that kidnapped them."
Laura, "When I had a name for my pain and I understood narcissistic abuse, I was able to move forward because I was like, 'Oh, this is why they do this.'"
Mardi, "It's never your fault. I really cannot stress this enough."
Laura, "I have had women who are like, 'Yeah, but he's with somebody and I'm alone,' and I said, 'But you think that getting married is the prize when you are the prize.'"
Mardi, "There's a power in sharing your story. There really is."
 
RESOURCES:
FOLLOW THE PODCAST: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/
COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura
MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE
JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517
 
FOLLOW MARDI:
WEBSITE: https://www.divorcecoach4women.com/
Freebie Resilience Building Blueprint: https://www.divorcecoach4women.com/rbb
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/divorcecoach4women/
YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@divorcecoach4women
 
"Leaving a narcissistic relationship isn't just ending a marriage—it's reclaiming the parts of yourself that were slowly taken away."
 
Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com
Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura interviews Dr. Nadine Macaluso (Dr. Nae), the real-life inspiration behind Naomi Belfort in The Wolf of Wall Street. After surviving a turbulent eight-year marriage to Jordan Belfort marked by abuse, greed, trauma bonding, and coercive control, Dr. Nae transformed her own healing journey into a mission to help others reclaim their lives.
Following her experiences, Dr. Nae returned to school at age 39, earning a Master's degree in counseling and a Ph.D. in somatic psychotherapy, along with advanced postdoctoral training in the Neuro-Affective Relational Model (NARM). Today, she is a licensed therapist specializing in trauma recovery, helping clients reconnect with their authentic selves, build resilience, and experience post-traumatic growth.
In this powerful conversation, Dr. Nae shares her personal story of surviving an abusive relationship, the loss of identity that often accompanies coercive control, and the complex reality of trauma bonds. She also offers practical guidance on leaving safely, healing the nervous system, and cultivating self-compassion throughout the recovery process. Together, Laura and Dr. Nae explore how education, community, and inner healing can empower survivors to move beyond trauma and create lives rooted in confidence, agency, and hope.
 
Key Topics & Timestamps
Guest Introduction: Doctor Nadine Macaluso (00:01:25) Laura introduces Doctor Nadine Macaluso (Doctor Nae), the real-life inspiration for Naomi Belfort in "The Wolf of Wall Street."
The Beginning of the Relationship (00:02:53) Doctor Nae recounts how she met Jordan Belfort, the intense pursuit, and the extreme love bombing that quickly followed.
Coercion into Marriage (00:07:49) Doctor Nae explains she didn't want to get married but was coerced with ultimatums, which she rationalized as intense love.
Societal Pressures on Women (00:09:15) The discussion covers how societal messages in the 80s and 90s encouraged women to self-abandon for a "prince charming."
The Importance of Setting Boundaries (00:11:36) Doctor Nae explains that setting a boundary with a pathological person will reveal their true nature through rage and resistance.
Why Women Don't Leave (00:14:13) The conversation explores the complexities of trauma bonds, coercive control, and the intense fear that prevents women from leaving abusive relationships.
Financial and Emotional Dependency (00:16:02) Doctor Nae discusses how abusers create financial and emotional dependency to maintain control, a key component of the trauma bond.
Leaving Without a Trauma Bond (00:18:39) Doctor Nae explains she was "done" when she left and didn't experience a strong trauma bond, largely because his arrest shifted the power dynamic.
Deciding to Share Her Story (00:21:23) Doctor Nae shares that she never intended to go public until her ex-husband wrote a book that became a movie.
Becoming a Therapist (00:22:23) Inspired by how therapy saved her, Doctor Nae returned to school at 39 to become a therapist and help others.
Supporting a Friend in a Trauma Bond (00:25:47) Doctor Nae advises friends to listen without judgment and keep communication open, asking if their friend wants to be heard, helped, or held.
The Unsafe Way to Leave (00:26:53) Doctor Nae clarifies the movie's depiction of her divorce announcement, explaining the real, dangerous events that unfolded after she confronted him.
The Safe Way to Leave (00:29:58) Doctor Nae outlines a strategic, secret plan for leaving an abuser, including gathering documents and finding a trauma-informed therapist.
Somatic Psychotherapy and Healing (00:31:18) The discussion covers how trauma creates a biochemical addiction and how somatic work helps calm the nervous system and heal the body.
The Loss of Self (00:34:41) Doctor Nae explains that losing one's identity is the number one symptom of a trauma bond, as you must abandon yourself.
Remodeling Your Life After Abuse (00:36:41) Instead of rebuilding, Doctor Nae suggests women are "remodeling" their lives by rediscovering their strengths and authentic selves without pressure.
Childhood and Vulnerability to Abuse (00:40:21) Doctor Nae dispels the myth that only those from abusive homes fall for predators, stating anyone can be a victim.
First Steps After Realization (00:42:52) Doctor Nae advises women who realize they're in a toxic relationship to practice self-compassion and stabilize with dedicated self-care.
From Surviving to Thriving (00:45:30) Doctor Nae discusses post-traumatic growth, where survivors can become stronger, have healthier relationships, and find their purpose after abuse.
Post-Separation Abuse (00:48:00) The conversation highlights the reality of post-separation abuse through the court system and the importance of education and a good attorney.
Breaking the Shame by Speaking Out (00:50:08) Doctor Nae emphasizes that sharing stories, as seen with some celebrities, is how the silence and shame around abuse are broken.
Where to Find Doctor Nae (00:52:07) Doctor Nae shares her website and social media handles where listeners can find free resources, her community, and therapy information.
 
Powerful Quotes from the Episode
Doctor Nadine, 'In trauma bonds, we're really objects to have, not people to love.'
Doctor Nadine, 'Slowly but surely, I lost my sense of self.'
Doctor Nadine, 'Our torturer is our soother.'
Doctor Nadine, 'When you've been in a trauma bond, you believe that self-care is selfish.'
Doctor Nadine, 'It's not just about surviving it; it's like, "Okay, I survived this incredibly challenging experience. Now what do I want? What do I need? Who do I want to become?"'
 
RESOURCES:
FOLLOW THE PODCAST: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/
COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura
MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE
JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517
 
FOLLOW NADINE: 
WEBSITE: https://drnae.com/
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/therealdrnadine/
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/drnaelmft
TIK TOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@drnaelmft
YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheRealDrNadine
X: https://x.com/therealdrnadine
BOOK: https://heal.drnae.com/giveaway-book-a?utm_campaign=bf&utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=podcast&utm_keyword=book
COURSE: https://course.drnae.com/trauma-bond-recovery-course-e?utm_keyword=tbrc30
 
"Healing begins when you stop asking who you were before the trauma and start discovering who you can become after it."
 
Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com
Contact us for expert podcast production and support.