That's Where I'm At

After rebuilding her life following the sudden end of a 25-year marriage, Elizabeth Jane turned her personal journey into a powerful mission to help others heal, rise, and reconnect with their true worth. On That's Where I'm At, Elizabeth joins Laura to discuss navigating heartbreak, family conflict, dating anxiety, and communication breakdowns with grace and self-respect.
Elizabeth is an emotional wellbeing expert, celebrated artist, keynote speaker, and the author of the bestselling book Free and First: Unlocking Your Ultimate Life. Through her art, writing, and public speaking, she empowers others to navigate emotional challenges, embrace authenticity, and have courageous conversations. She shares heartfelt insights on healing, self-worth, and rebuilding a fulfilling life after major transitions.
 
Key Topics & Timestamps
Podcast introduction and content warning (00:00:00) Laura introduces the show and issues a content warning for potentially triggering subjects.
Introducing Elizabeth and her work (00:01:32) Laura welcomes Elizabeth Jane, highlighting her background as an emotional well-being expert, artist, keynote speaker, and author.
Elizabeth's background and optimism (00:02:40) Elizabeth discusses growing up as a shy child who always looked on the bright side of life, building what she thought was a secure life with a picket fence and four children.
The sudden end of a 25-year marriage (00:05:00) Elizabeth recounts the shock and initial denial of her long-term marriage ending abruptly after a single conversation, leading to a period of heavy loneliness.
Realizing everyone had moved on (00:08:12) Elizabeth reflects on how her ex-husband and social circle moved on quickly, leaving her to question her life's dedication to her family.
Discovering tools for self-discovery (00:10:30) Elizabeth shares how she began writing tools and tips to help herself get out of bed, which organically grew into her book focused on rediscovering the true self.
Understanding boundaries and the "kiss approach" (00:13:20) Elizabeth and Laura discuss the concept of boundaries—a term unfamiliar to many women in midlife—and the importance of keeping life guidance simple through the "kiss approach" across financial, relationship, and health baskets.
Building "Me Time" and the ABC of Me (00:16:10) Elizabeth introduces her tool, the "ABC of Me," designed to help people navigate trauma and transitions by starting with small, daily moments of joy and self-care.
Moving away from the past and future anxiety (00:23:45) They discuss how getting trapped in past regrets ("spilled milk") or fantasy futures drains energy, and why anchoring into the present moment is vital.
Recognizing how the body holds trauma (00:28:10) Elizabeth and Laura explore how unexpressed pain, anger, and lack of boundaries manifest as physical stress, anxiety, and autoimmune issues.
The power of physical movement and shaking it off (00:32:00) Drawing parallels to how animals shake off fear, they discuss using movement, dancing, mini trampolines, and daily walks to release anxiety from the body.
Transforming the "anger bomb" into empowered conversations (00:36:15) Elizabeth explains how to channel heavy anger and energy into productive communication and self-advocacy rather than letting it fester.
The danger of people-pleasing and self-abandonment (00:41:30) They reflect on the challenges women face when prioritizing everyone else's needs over their own, and why learning to love oneself is essential.
Trying new hobbies and embracing creativity (00:47:00) Elizabeth shares how trying painting and exploring creative outlets helped her step out of her comfort zone and rediscover joy.
Practicing gratitude to attract positivity (00:52:15) They discuss how shifting away from a scarcity mindset and practicing genuine gratitude helps attract better opportunities and supportive people.
Forgiveness as a tool for personal freedom (00:56:40) Elizabeth emphasizes that forgiveness is for your own liberation, allowing you to drop the heavy baggage of the past rather than condoning past actions.
Closing and where to find Elizabeth (01:00:30) Laura thanks Elizabeth, shares her website details, and encourages listeners to support the podcast.
 
Powerful Quotes from the Episode
Elizabeth, "Once we can actually have that courage to be authentic with what, how we feel and what we need, will then that person can see us for who we are."
Elizabeth, "It's really... rediscovering me, finding the truth of me outside of being a mom and being a wife."
Elizabeth, "If you're not respecting yourself, you're not loving yourself, well then you could get a lot of disrespect... because your energy attracts it."
Laura, "What is 10 minutes that I could do for me that brings me joy, that could bump me up a bit... just get me out of bed in the morning?"
Elizabeth, "The worst thing we can do is to keep it within us... We need to find place how to feel it and then how to let it move on."
Elizabeth, "Every time you start to stand up, you're not only empowering you and becoming closer to being the leader of your life, you're actually the role model to your children."
 
RESOURCES:
FOLLOW THE PODCAST: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/
COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura
MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/book-store
ALL BOOKS BY MY GUESTS: https://www.amazon.com/shop/lauranarcissistawareness/list/27V6DP1K008NA?ref_=aip_sf_list_spv_ons_mixed_d
FOLLOW ELIZABETH:
WEBSITE: https://elizabethjane.au/
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/elizabethjane.author/
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/elizabethjaneauthor/
YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@elizabethjaneauthor
 
"Once we can actually have that courage to be authentic with what, how we feel and what we need, will then that person can see us for who we are."
 
This podcast and its contents may not be used for training or developing AI systems without permission.
 
Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com
Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

After 29 years of marriage, Mia Hanks began to see the relationship differently when a couples' therapist told her she couldn't help her husband—and he left believing he'd "won" therapy. On That's Where I'm At, Mia shares how she slowly recognized the control and self-doubt beneath the surface, why fear and financial dependence made leaving complicated, and how she ultimately found a way out of the marriage to a covert narcissist.
In 2024, Mia published her award-winning memoir, Bride-Made, which chronicles her journey from being groomed by a narcissist to recognizing the toxic relationship, escaping, and reclaiming her self-worth. She also discusses her husband's threats of self-harm, frightening behavior behind the wheel, and the money she says was hidden during their divorce.
Today, Mia is passionate about raising awareness of narcissistic abuse and helping other survivors find their voices, rebuild their confidence, and begin their own journeys toward healing.
 
Key Topics & Timestamps
Mia's memoir and its purpose (00:00:00) Mia explains how her memoir portrays the subtle, gradual erosion of identity in a relationship with a narcissist.
Podcast introduction and content warning (00:00:34) Laura introduces the show's focus on sharing stories of abuse and healing; listeners are cautioned about potentially triggering subjects.
Introducing Mia and her memoir (00:01:32) Laura welcomes Mia, describing her 29-year marriage, escape, and award-winning memoir, Bride Maid.
Why Mia chose to share her story (00:02:53) Mia discusses discovering narcissistic abuse and hoping her story helps others recognize they can leave.
Financial control and barriers to leaving (00:04:51) Mia and Laura discuss restricted access to money, legal costs, and financial challenges during divorce.
How abuse undermines confidence (00:09:08) They describe feeling incapable after years of criticism, along with the hope and trauma bond that can keep someone attached.
Mia's gradual realization and couples therapy (00:12:52) Mia recalls recognizing the relationship was unhealthy and a therapist confronting her husband's lack of self-awareness.
Private therapy and validation to leave (00:18:40) Mia secretly consults the therapist, who validates her concerns and encourages her to leave safely.
Finding the opportunity to leave (00:19:54) Mia explains how deteriorating health, adult children, and selling the family home helped her decide to leave.
Separation, divorce, and retaliation (00:22:18) Mia describes moving in with her parents, her husband's changing behavior, and his efforts to leave her financially vulnerable.
Breadcrumbs, guilt, and emotional blackmail (00:28:42) They discuss promises to draw a partner back, guilt about leaving, and threats of self-harm as emotional manipulation.
Threats, safety, and physical intimidation (00:31:12) Mia describes a gun-related threat; they discuss taking threats seriously and recognizing dangerous behaviors.
Erratic driving and unpredictable outbursts (00:34:05) Mia and Laura reflect on reckless driving, intimidation, and how minor incidents can trigger frightening reactions.
Peace after leaving and divorce finances (00:36:50) Mia explains choosing peace over a fair financial settlement; Laura shares lessons about legal representation and hidden assets.
Mia's memoirs and healing journey (00:42:28) Mia describes her first memoir about life with a narcissist and a follow-up about recovery.
Raising awareness and finding support (00:43:18) Mia discusses her books, social media, speaking, and the importance of trauma-informed support.
Closing and where to find Mia (00:46:01) Laura thanks Mia, shares her website and book information, and asks listeners to review and support the podcast.
Podcast sign-off (00:47:15) Laura thanks listeners and invites them to share feedback and return for the next episode.
 
Powerful Quotes from the Episode
Mia, "It's not every day [that] there are big dramatic things. It's just the little things, the little chipping away at who you are—and what that looks like from the inside."
Mia, "The door's open. I mean, I can walk out that door any time, but it's all of the mental stuff."
Mia, "I just need to take a mental break. I'm going to go stay with my parents for a while and clear my head. Days turned to weeks, turned to months, and I didn't come back."
Laura, "They have trained us to feel bad for any decisions we're making that would involve us. The first thing I thought when I walked into the bedroom after saying I wanted a divorce was, 'Oh my God, I hope he doesn't get mad at me.'"
Mia, "I walked away from a lot of money. But now I have peace, and you can't put a price tag on peace."
 
RESOURCES:
FOLLOW THE PODCAST: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/
COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura
MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/book-store
ALL BOOKS BY MY GUESTS: https://www.amazon.com/shop/lauranarcissistawareness/list/27V6DP1K008NA?ref_=aip_sf_list_spv_ons_mixed_d
FOLLOW MIA:
WEBSITE: https://miajhanks.com/
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/npd.andme
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/mia.hanks.626386
TIK TOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@npdandme
YOUTUBE: XXXX ask her
AMAZON: https://a.co/d/0j8Ussbj
 
"You may lose parts of yourself in an abusive relationship, but you can reclaim your voice, your worth, and your peace."
 
This podcast and its contents may not be used for training or developing AI systems without permission.
 
Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com
Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

At a San Francisco beach, Melanie Gore thought she was having a panic attack—until the feeling turned into laughter, and she recognized joy she'd never felt before. On That's Where I'm At, host Laura interviews Melanie, a Certified Hypnotherapist, Women's Confidence Specialist, RTT Practitioner, and Life Coach who helps women overcome anxiety, codependency, narcissistic relationships, limiting beliefs, and ADHD-related emotional challenges.
Melanie shares her own transformation through RTT and how it inspired her to help women rebuild confidence, trust themselves, and create lives they genuinely love. Together, Laura and Melanie explore childhood patterns, codependency, rediscovering your identity, and practical ways to build self-trust through small, everyday changes.
 
Key Topics & Timestamps
Introduction and content warning (00:00:00) Melanie describes choosing positivity and going with life's changes; Laura introduces the podcast and warns about potentially triggering topics.
Melanie's path to hypnotherapy and personal growth (00:01:31) Melanie explains how codependency, self-help, and therapy led her to train in Rapid Transformational Therapy and help others.
Recognizing codependency and rebuilding self-worth (00:04:29) Melanie discusses childhood patterns, people-pleasing, and learning to accept herself rather than seek others' approval.
Boundaries, identity, and narcissistic relationship patterns (00:13:05) They explore self-love, repeated relationship dynamics, shifting goalposts, and the value of time alone to rediscover identity.
Midlife freedom, confidence, and starting over (00:18:18)  Laura and Melanie reflect on reclaiming personal choices, trying new things, and building a life that feels authentic.
Recognizing abuse and deciding what comes next (00:23:06) Melanie shares how she discovered joy and emphasizes readiness, self-trust, and choosing whether to remain in an unhealthy relationship.
Living alone and rediscovering interests (00:29:54) They discuss fear of loneliness, rebuilding friendships and hobbies, and treating discomfort or experimentation as opportunities to grow.
Therapy tools and practical self-support strategies (00:35:09) Melanie describes her RTT process, inner-child work, self-affirmation, journaling, and practicing kinder self-talk.
Changing thought patterns and setting boundaries (00:38:06) Melanie outlines ways to challenge old beliefs, trust intuition, communicate confidently, and avoid absorbing hurtful comments.
Childhood patterns, parenting, and family healing (00:43:18) They discuss changing inherited behaviors, apologizing to adult children, and allowing family members to do their own healing.
Where to find Melanie and episode closing (00:50:01) Laura shares Melanie's website and social links, recommends RTT, thanks her guest, and closes the podcast.
 
Powerful Quotes from the Episode
Melanie, "I was trying to fit in in a way that other people would accept me. And when I got to the place of 'I'm okay with who I am, I like who I am, I'm a good person,' then I started to blossom."
Melanie, "You end up with no sense of who you are left. You're just like this empty vessel, and you're trying so hard to understand why you can never get it right."
Melanie, "The biggest shift, I think, is when you get to spend some time on your own and get to decide who you are and who you want to be."
Melanie, "That first third was kind of my parents. The second third was my kids. And now this part is for me. And that's exciting."
Melanie Gore, "You're not a different person. You've just started to find out who you are."
 
RESOURCES:
FOLLOW THE PODCAST: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/
COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura
MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/book-store
JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517
FOLLOW MELANIE:
WEBSITE: www.melaniegore.com
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/transformational_hypnosis
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/MelanieGoreHypnotherapy
YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@MelanieGore-ConfidenceCoach
 
"Reclaiming yourself begins when you find the courage to name your truth and choose your own path."
 
This podcast and its contents may not be used for training or developing AI systems without permission.
 
Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com
Contact us for expert podcast production and support.

In this episode of That's Where I'm At, host Laura interviews Tia Levings, a New York Times bestselling author of A Well-Trained Wife, her memoir of escaping Christian patriarchy, and I Belong to Me: A Survivor's Guide to Recovery and Hope after Religious Trauma. Tia shares her journey of escaping abusive marriages and a high-control religious environment rooted in strict gender roles and fundamentalism.
Tia writes about religious trauma, evangelical patriarchy, and the Trad Wife movement, helping decode the fundamentalist influences that shape news and culture. Her work and insights have been featured in Teen Vogue, Salon, Newsweek, and HuffPost, and she has appeared as a speaker, podcast guest, and on the Amazon docu-series Shiny Happy People.
During the conversation, Tia discusses "author divorce," career sabotage, and the importance of having accurate language to name and understand trauma. She emphasizes that recovery is a gradual process that requires community, boundaries, and self-reclamation. Based in Raleigh, North Carolina, Tia is a mother of four adult children and continues to support survivors through her writing, speaking, and advocacy.
 
Key Topics & Timestamps
Podcast Introduction (00:00:30) Host Laura introduces the podcast's mission to share women's stories of healing from toxic relationships and secrets.
Trigger Warning (00:01:19) A brief announcement warns listeners that the episode's content may be triggering and advises them to take care.
Guest Introduction: Tia (00:01:28) Host Laura introduces guest Tia, a New York Times bestselling author and survivor of religious trauma and domestic abuse.
The "Author Divorce" and Career Sabotage (00:02:34) Tia discusses how her success as an author led to her second divorce, a phenomenon she calls "author divorce."
Finding Freedom After Leaving (00:08:20) The host and guest discuss the immense freedom and clarity they felt after leaving their abusive partners and toxic environments.
Tia's Early Life and Religious Indoctrination (00:13:50) Tia describes her childhood, moving from a culturally Christian background to a high-control megachurch and fundamentalist subculture.
Marriage, Abuse, and Escape (00:19:37) Tia recounts her quick marriage, the immediate onset of abuse, and her eventual escape from a church-sanctioned domestic abuse situation.
The Healing Journey and "I Belong to Me" (00:23:38) Tia explains the importance of rebuilding oneself after trauma and the premise of her second book on healing.
Navigating Covert Abuse (00:26:46) The discussion covers the insidious nature of covert psychological abuse and the difficulty in recognizing and unpacking its impact.
Healing with Adult Children (00:29:28) The host and guest share experiences of apologizing to their children for past indoctrination and finding healing in their relationships.
Setting Spiritual Boundaries (00:34:32) Tia explains why she keeps her current spiritual beliefs private, offering a boundary for those deconstructing their faith.
Writing "A Well-Trained Wife" (00:41:45) Tia details the decade-long process of writing her memoir, driven by the rise of Christian nationalism under Trump.
The Power of Naming Abuse (00:44:10) The conversation highlights how having the language to name experiences like narcissistic abuse is a crucial first step toward healing.
Who Should Read "I Belong to Me" (00:50:38) Tia explains that her second book, while titled with "religious trauma," is for anyone healing from high-control or toxic relationships.
 
Powerful Quotes from the Episode
Tia, "The minute I walked out, I felt like a dog that somebody opened the gate for, and I started running."
Tia, "Now I am just free. It's so much peace that my creative fountain is overflowing, and I can get my work done."
Tia, "I used to think I suffered from a lot of imposter syndrome, and it turned out, no, I just lived with somebody who continually moved the goalposts."
Tia, "I remembered who I was before they told me who I had to be."
Tia, "Language has been the number one thing, I think, that's helped me more than anything else—just having the accurate names for my experiences."
 
RESOURCES:
FOLLOW THE PODCAST: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/
COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura
MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/book-store
ALL BOOKS BY MY GUESTS: https://www.amazon.com/shop/lauranarcissistawareness/list/27V6DP1K008NA?ref_=aip_sf_list_spv_ons_mixed_d
JOIN THE NICE GUY RECOVERY COMMUNITY: https://www.skool.com/nice-guy-recovery-community-1517
FOLLOW TIA:
WEBSITE: https://tialevings.com
INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/tialevingswriter
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TiaLevingsWriter
YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/@theworkingwriterpodcast3510/
 
"Reclaiming yourself begins when you find the courage to name your truth and choose your own path."
 
This podcast and its contents may not be used for training or developing AI systems without permission.
 
Podcast Produced and edited by the team at ResilientVoiceMedia.com
Contact us for expert podcast production and support.