The Academic Imperfectionist

Be honest. You're here because you think you completely suck at self-control, aren't you? You're constantly disappointing yourself, and it's getting you down. The people around you seem to be able to get on with things - but you find it impossible, for some reason. And, by 'for some reason', you mean 'because I'm a terrible person'.
Help is at hand, my beautifully flawed friend. You've been hoodwinked about self-control. It's likely that you're actually much better at it than you think, and that the reason you think you're terrible at it is because you're taking an overly narrow view of what it is and what it's used for. What's more, self-control isn't simply a matter of willpower, and it's not all in the head. It's much bigger than that, and if you struggle with it, it might be for social and political reasons.
Here to spill the beans about self-control is Polaris Koi, Assistant Professor of Practical Philosophy at the University of Turku, Finland. He's spent years working to understand the very human experience of trying and failing to get ourselves to do the things we want to be doing. He's an interdisciplinary research who focuses on human agency, decision-making, and cognitive diversity. He's also the founder of Ronroo, a psychoeducation app that offers easy-to-reach support for people with self-control and executive functioning difficulties.

You know what frailty is, and you definitely want to avoid it. But have you heard of emotional frailty? No, of course not - I've just made it up. But if you've ever felt like you're completely winning at life, and then some tiny little setback knocks you sideways, leaving you wondering what's wrong with you and why you suddenly can't cope, emotional frailty is to blame. Emotional frailty is invisible, it's dangerous - and often, the culture around us encourages us to do exactly the sorts of things that exacerbate it. It's time to fight back. Your Imperfectionist friend is here to show you how.
Find the Wheel of Life exercise here.

You're a good person. You try to be a good friend, a good colleague, and a good neighbour. You care about other people, you pull your weight, and you don't let anyone down. But, sometimes, you feel you're not enough. You're exhausted, but taking time for yourself means doing wrong by somebody else. You feel like you need to destroy yourself just to avoid being a bad person.
If this sounds familiar, you're not crazy or inadequate. The problem is that you've constructed a moral framework that unfairly burdens you, and you don't even realise, because on the surface it looks like you're following completely plausible moral principles. But don't worry: help is at hand! Your Imperfectionist friend here is going to show you what's gone wrong and how to fix it.

What comes to mind when you think about willpower? Discipline? Self-denial? Overcoming your weak, useless, lazy self? Exhausting, right? Thankfully, there's another way, and this episode's guest is here to take you there. Dr Dana Klisanin is a psychologist and one of Forbes's 50 leading female futurists. She's a researcher, an author, an artist, a TEDx speaker, and the founder of ReWilding: Lab, where she explores the untapped potential of human-nature connection to improve health and wellbeing, and to help us live more sustainably. She sat down with me to talk about how a fulfilling life needn't involve fighting and winning against our natural inclinations, and why thinking of ourselves as part of the natural world can make us happier, stronger, and more resilient. 
Read Dana's article in Psychology Today, 'What if we've misunderstood willpower all along?'
Pre-order Dana's latest book, The Art of Wild Willpower: Nature-Based Invitations for Ritual, Reflection, and Reconnection.
Dana's recent TEDx talk, 'Rewilding the mind: The most endangered habitat is inside us', will soon be published here.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your willingness to say nice things about yourself? How about your willingness to point out your own failures and shortcomings? If the first number you came up with is higher than the second, then move along, my friend - this episode can do nothing for you. Gather round, the rest of you. You've been taught all your life that modesty and humility are virtues. But, would you know if your self-deprecation had gone too far? Could your toxic humility be holding you back? And if it is, so what? Better that than being arrogant, right?!
Oh dear, friend. What a mess. But don't worry. Your Imperfectionist friend is here to show how you can do some healthy cheerleading for yourself without turning into a boasty monster. Settle down for the final episode of 2025, and prepare to end it with a smile on your face!
Contact The Academic Imperfectionist here, or via Bluesky, Facebook, or Medium.
Read Emma Beddington's article about toxic humility here.