The Divorce and Beyond® Podcast with Susan Guthrie, Esq.

Do you know what almost no one tells you when you are creating a parenting plan? Some of the biggest co-parenting battles after divorce will not be over the things you think. It may not be the major custody decision or where the children will primarily live. It may be the late pickup, the unanswered text, the forgotten backpack, or the soccer registration deadline no one thought to clarify.

That is why Susan Guthrie is joined by Gabrielle Hartley, attorney, mediator, parenting conflict expert, TEDx speaker, bestselling author of Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate, and creator of Mediator Gabby. Gabrielle has spent decades helping families navigate separation with greater clarity, less conflict, and better outcomes for children. Together, they get practical about why so many parenting plans break down after the divorce is finalized and what it actually takes to build one that holds up in real life.

This conversation is for anyone creating a parenting plan, already co-parenting, or supporting someone who is. Because choosing what feels easier right now has a way of creating a much more difficult problem to solve later.

Covered in this episode:

Why most co-parenting conflict has nothing to do with bad parenting

What makes a parenting plan fall apart once real life takes over

How the "easier now, harder later" trap quietly sets families up for more conflict

Why clarity matters more than detail when building a durable parenting plan

How Mediator Gabby helps parents arrive prepared, stay focused, and reach better agreements

WHAT IF AN AI MEDIATOR COULD HELP YOU BUILD A PARENTING PLAN BEFORE YOU EVER WALK INTO A ROOM? 

There are approximately 29-million children living in single-parent families in the United States, and the vast majority of their parents never have access to a lawyer, a mediator, or any professional guidance at all. Mediator Gabby, Gabrielle's AI-supported parenting plan tool was built with those families in mind. 

Using this custom AI tool, each parent completes a guided onboarding on their own before any joint conversation begins, working through the full landscape of a parenting plan so that by the time they sit down together, they already know where they agree, where they do not, and what needs to be worked through.

Here is what that preparation can do for families:

Save three to five hours of introductory conversation before mediation even begins

Help parents arrive focused and prepared rather than reactive and overwhelmed

Surface the details most people do not think to address until they become conflict points

Lower the emotional temperature in the room so real resolution can happen faster

Keep the process moving forward instead of stalling on issues that feel impossible in the moment

A parenting plan is the operating system for your family's next chapter. The clearer and more intentional it is from the start, the less conflict it creates down the road, and the better the experience for your children.

FREE DOWNLOAD: Parenting Plan Reality Check: The Questions Every Co-Parent Needs to Answer Before Finalizing a Parenting Plan + Companion Article  Find the article and free download on the website at https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/latest-episode

Referenced Episodes from the Archive:

The 7 Most-Asked Divorce Questions on ChatGPT, Answered by a Top Family Law Attorney with Susan Guthrie

Discovery Demystified: Why Fact-Finding is the Most Important Step in Your Divorce with Susan Guthrie

Conflict Resolution Made Easy: Managaing the Five Destructive Behaviors We All Have with Gabrielle Hartley

Gabrielle Hartley Has the Secret to Helping Us All Get Along Better and It Starts with Y.E.S.

Is Your Divorce Taking Too Long? BLITZ IT and BE DONE with Gabrielle Hartley

The Best Thing to Happen to Divorce in Ages with Very Special Guest, Gabrielle Hartley

If this episode helped you, please share it and leave a review. It genuinely helps the show reach the people who need it most.

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Meet This Week’s Guest:

Gabrielle Hartley is a New York and Massachusetts divorce attorney, mediator, author, two-time TEDx speaker, and legal tech founder working at the intersection of family dispute resolution and technology.

She is the founder of Better Parenting Plan and creator of Mediator Gabby, a technology-supported platform designed to help parents and family professionals reduce conflict and build clearer, more durable parenting agreements.

Gabrielle is also consulting with the American Arbitration Association to help launch its first-ever family mediation panel. A former court attorney to Hon. Jeffrey Sunshine in the New York Supreme Court, Matrimonial Division, she has spent more than twenty-five years helping families resolve complex divorce and custody matters constructively.

She is the author of Better Apart and The Secret to Getting Along and serves on the ABA Dispute Resolution Council.

Website: BetterParentingPlan.com

Instagram: http://instagram.com/gabriellehartleyesq

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This Week's Sponsors: 

Hello Divorce - Hello Divorce is a modern platform designed to support people before, during, and beyond divorce, providing legal information, tools, and access to professionals who help individuals navigate the process more thoughtfully.

Resources created specifically for Divorce & Beyond listeners are available at HelloDivorce.com/Susan.

Yumiyu - YUMIYU Jewelry is Susan’s favorite source for meaningful, handcrafted jewelry designed to empower women and celebrate individuality. Each piece is made with care, using high-quality materials like real gold and vermeil, and is water-resistant, non-tarnish, and hypoallergenic.

Explore their stunning collection at yumiyujewelry.com and find your perfect piece today! Be sure to use Code: “BEYOND” for 20% off!

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If This Episode Helped You

Subscribe to Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, leaving a five-star review makes a real difference in helping this show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website: divorceandbeyondpod.com

Instagram: instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

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About Our Host: Susan E. Guthrie, Esq.

Susan E. Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping individuals navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with millions of downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together top legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/about

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

One of the biggest fears people face when contemplating divorce is the financial unknown. If you are sitting out there right now feeling overwhelmed, unsure where to begin, or worried about money, this conversation was made for you.

This week Susan is bringing you one of the most listened to and most shared episodes from the Divorce and Beyond archive, a conversation with certified divorce financial analyst Hollis Hardiman, also a certified mediator and certified collaborative professional, walking through the foundational financial preparation that can make such a difference when first starting the divorce process.

Together, Susan and Hollis get into what it really takes to protect your finances as you enter the process, from building the right professional support team to understanding what your household actually costs to approaching the big decisions, like the house, with clarity and an open mind instead of fear.

Covered in this episode:

Why money is the number one fear people face when contemplating divorce and why the right professional support team changes everything

How to start building a picture of your finances from what you already have access to, even if your spouse handled the money

Why alimony and support are temporary and what it means to plan now for when they end

How a CDFA helps clients protect their finances not just during the divorce process but for their financial future as well

HOW TO HANDLE THE MOST COMMON QUESTION ASKED DURING DIVORCE, "CAN I KEEP THE HOUSE?"

Almost everyone walks into the divorce process asking the same thing: can I keep the house? It is an understandable instinct. But when keeping the house becomes a fixed position rather than one option among many, it can stall the process, drain resources, and leave you worse off financially in the long run. Some things to consider, as discussed in this episode include: 

One household income divided into two households means the math will not work the same way

Understand what it would actually cost to keep the house: refinancing, mortgage qualification, maintenance, and carrying costs

Explore all the options: keeping, selling, renting, downsizing

You can put the puzzle together a lot of different ways in divorce, but only if you stay open to looking at all the pieces

The goal is not to win the house. The goal is to make the decision that sets you up for the strongest financial future. Get the answers, both good and bad, and then decide.

Referenced Episodes from the Archive:

How to Get Your Act Together So that You Can Tackle Your Divorce with Alex Beattie of Divide & Thrive

The Solution for Tackling the Divorce Detour with Storey Jones, Creator of dtour.life 

It’s All About the House: What You Need to Think About Before You Decide to Keep It with Tami Wollensak

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This Week’s Guest: Hollis Hardiman, CDFA

Hollis provides financial, retirement, and wealth management services to her clients. She specializes in helping people navigate major life transitions including divorce, the loss of a spouse, and preparing for retirement.

As a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA), Hollis firmly believes in building a support team of divorce professionals including attorneys, mediators, and therapists that can help her clients make the best decisions during these emotional times. As a child of divorced parents, Hollis witnessed firsthand the consequences when sound financial decisions are not made.

Hollis is certified in both mediation and collaborative divorce. She is well trained to advocate for one party or serve as a neutral party for the couple during the divorce process. While being part of the support system with the attorneys and mediators, Hollis is able to guide her clients through their short-term and long-term settlement options.

Hollis grew up in Fairfield, CT, and now splits her time between Fairfield, CT, and Palm City, FL. In her free time, she enjoys spending time with her husband and extended family, walking her two dogs, and playing tennis.

Investment advice offered through Merit Financial Group, LLC, an SEC registered investment adviser.

Phone:  203.423.5985

E-mail:  [email protected]

Website:  https://divorceresourcect.com/about/

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If This Episode Helped You

Subscribe to Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, leaving a five-star review makes a real difference in helping this show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website: divorceandbeyondpod.com

Instagram: instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

______________________________________________________________________

About Our Host: Susan E. Guthrie, Esq.

Susan E. Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping individuals navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with millions of downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together top legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/about

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

Most people who go through divorce will tell you the same thing: "I was blindsided." But were they really? Or were the signs there all along, just not recognized for what they were?

That is the question at the center of this conversation, and Susan Guthrie is bringing in one of the true icons of family law to answer it. Marilyn Chinitz, partner at Blank Rome and renowned matrimonial attorney with more than four decades of experience, has sat across from thousands of clients who never saw it coming. She knows the red flags. She knows the financial blind spots. And she does not mince words.

Right now, a memoir is taking over the national conversation. Strangers: A Memoir of Marriage by Belle Burden has ignited a bellwether of attention. This book has people everywhere asking, "How did she not see it?" Susan and Marilyn use this moment as a launching pad to go somewhere deeper: the patterns, the red flags, and the financial realities that every person in a marriage or contemplating one needs to understand. 

Covered in this episode:

The red flags hiding in plain sight, including subtle communication patterns, financial avoidance, and how your spouse treats others 

A client story that shows exactly how a prenup gives you a heads up about who you are marrying

How trusts work in a marriage, why they are often set up completely legitimately, and when they cross into "funny business" that courts will not tolerate

Why you do not divorce the same person you married, and what that really means for how you need to prepare

THIS CONVERSATION ALSO DIGS INTO WHY BEING AN EQUAL PARTNER MEANS BEING AN INFORMED ONE 

Assets could be held in a trust you did not know about. The home could be rented. The wealth could be encumbered by debt. And if you never asked, you may not find out until you are sitting across from a divorce attorney.

Ask to sit down and go through the finances together, even once a year

Review bank statements, tax returns, and credit card accounts

Understand what is in your name, what is joint, and what is held in a trust

If your spouse brushes you off or refuses, that is a red flag worth taking seriously

Get professionals around you: a financial advisor, a forensic accountant, and an attorney, even before anything goes wrong

This is not about suspicion. It is about being an equal partner and an informed one. The time to understand what you have is during a happy, intact marriage, not across a conference table from a divorce attorney. You are better off having that conversation early.

FREE DOWNLOAD: The Red Flags You Didn’t See Checklist + Companion Article

Susan has created two resources to help you move from hearing this to actually using it.The Red Flags You Didn't See Checklist walks you through the patterns discussed in this episode and gives you a way to reflect more intentionally on your own situation. The companion article goes deeper into the topic, drawing from this broader conversation and what is playing out in real life right now. Both are available at divorceandbeyondpod.com.

If this episode helped you, please share it and leave a review. It genuinely helps the show reach the people who need it most.

Books Referenced:
Strangers: A Memoir of Marriage, Belle Burden 

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This Week’s Guest: Marilyn Chinitz

Marilyn Chinitz is a Partner at Blank Rome with 40 years of experience in every facet of family law. She is known for representing A-list celebrities and influential, high-profile clients in cases that have received national and international attention. 

https://www.blankrome.com/people/marilyn-b-chinitz#biography
https://www.linkedin.com/in/marilyn-chinitz-a262a91b/ 
https://www.linkedin.com/company/blank-rome-llp/ 
https://www.instagram.com/marilynchinitz/ 

This Week's Sponsor: Hello Divorce

Hello Divorce is a modern platform designed to support people before, during, and beyond divorce, providing legal information, tools, and access to professionals who help individuals navigate the process more thoughtfully.

Resources created specifically for Divorce & Beyond listeners are available at HelloDivorce.com/Susan.

If This Episode Helped You

Subscribe to Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, leaving a five-star review makes a real difference in helping this show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website: divorceandbeyondpod.com

Instagram: instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

______________________________________________________________________

About Our Host: Susan E. Guthrie, Esq.

Susan E. Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping individuals navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with millions of downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together top legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/about

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

Over the past couple of weeks, headlines have described a tragic murder suicide involving a couple going through a divorce, once again framing it as a "contentious divorce." Let's be very clear about something: divorce did not cause what happened. Divorce does not cause murder. Domestic violence causes murder.

That is why Susan Guthrie is doing this difficult but important solo episode. She walks through the patterns of abuse, the high risk indicators that change a situation entirely, why the moment of separation is so dangerous, and what a thoughtful, strategic exit actually looks like.

This conversation moves from awareness to action, so if any part of what you hear feels familiar, you have something calm and structured to carry with you as you think through your next steps.

Covered in this episode:

Why the moment of separation is often the most dangerous time, and how understanding that allows you to move more thoughtfully and strategically.

The high risk indicators to take seriously: strangulation, threats to kill, access to firearms, stalking, extreme jealousy or control, and statements like "if I can't have you, no one will."

What a thoughtful, strategic exit actually looks like, from quiet planning and digital safety to building a small, trusted circle of support.

Why your children and pets must be part of your safety plan from the very beginning.

⚠️ IMPORTANT: ACCESS TO A FIREARM SIGNIFICANTLY INCREASES YOUR RISK

If there is access to a firearm and you are leaving, you have to take that seriously. It significantly increases risk. This is where having professional guidance before you leave, and as you are making your plan, becomes critical.

Find a domestic violence advocate

Find a divorce coach who specializes in helping people experiencing domestic abuse or violence

Meet with an attorney who understands the risks

Include your children and your pets in your safety plan from the beginning

Do not announce your plan before you are ready, as that can increase your risk

This is not a time for informal arrangements. The structure of your plan will matter, and getting guidance early on and plotting your strategy so that it is fully developed can make a meaningful difference.  

FREE DOWNLOAD: Your Safety First, A Practical Exit and Protection Plan for High-Risk Relationships

Susan created a companion guide to go along with this episode. In a moment like this, you should not have to remember everything you are hearing on a podcast episode. This is a calm, structured, step-by-step resource to help you think through your situation and your next steps. Find it here.

If this episode helped you, please share it and leave a review. It genuinely helps the show reach the people who need it most.

Referenced Episodes from the Archive

Everything You Need to Know to Get a Restraining Order with Attorney Uswah Khan

Empowered Advocacy: Effectively Sharing Your Abuse Story and Achieving Justice with Beverly Price

Walking on Eggshells in Family Court: Meet Aimee Says, the AI Tool Transforming Survivor Support with Anne Wintemute

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Aimee Says: Support for Survivors Creating a Safety Plan

Aimee Says is a private, AI-powered tool designed to support survivors navigating post-separation abuse by helping you document experiences, identify patterns of coercive control, and organize your story with greater clarity. This can be especially valuable when creating a safety plan, preparing to communicate with professionals, or navigating the legal system. It is a supportive tool, not a substitute for professional help, and if you are in immediate danger, please contact a domestic violence hotline or local resource.

Learn more here: https://www.aimeesays.com/en/home?via=susan and use code SUSAN for a special listener offer.

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This Week's Sponsor: Blue Mercury

Treat yourself to luxury skincare, makeup, and fragrance favorites from Blue Mercury, your destination for beauty and self-care. Divorce & Beyond listeners receive 15% off their first order when they use the special link in the show notes. Because you deserve to look and feel your best,  inside and out.

You must use this link to receive the 15% off on your first Blue Mercury order: https://divorcebeyond.com/Blue-Mercury

If This Episode Helped You

Subscribe to Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, leaving a five-star review makes a real difference in helping this show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website: divorceandbeyondpod.com

Instagram: instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

______________________________________________________________________

About Our Host: Susan E. Guthrie, Esq.

Susan E. Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping individuals navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with millions of downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together top legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/about

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.

You have probably done it. Typed a question about your divorce into ChatGPT or another AI tool late at night, when you did not want to call anyone else. You are not alone.

In this solo episode, family law attorney and mediator Susan Guthrie answers the 7 most common divorce questions people are asking AI, with the depth and 35-plus years of experience that make the difference between a good-enough answer and the right one.

The 7 questions covered:

What are the most common mistakes people make during divorce?

How can I find the right resources and support to help me through divorce?

What are the best ways to communicate with my ex-spouse?

What are effective strategies for co-parenting after divorce?

How can I use divorce as an opportunity for growth and transformation?

How do I protect my financial future during and after divorce?

What should I know about the legal process my attorney might not tell me?

Susan also covers how to use AI smartly during your divorce, including three legal risks every person in an active proceeding should understand before typing private details into a commercial AI.

IMPORTANT: A LEGAL CAUTION ABOUT USING AI IN YOUR DIVORCE

This episode covers what AI gets right and wrong about divorce. It also addresses something rarely discussed in public: the legal risks of using commercial AI tools like ChatGPT or Gemini while going through a divorce proceeding.

Do not enter private financial details, asset information, or custody specifics into commercial AI platforms

Case law is still developing, but courts have already ruled that AI conversations can be subject to discovery in legal proceedings

Entering attorney-client privileged communications, therapist notes, doctor-patient information, or financial professional advice into a commercial AI may waive those legal privileges permanently

Use AI to understand general concepts. Keep the specific details of your situation in privileged, protected spaces: your attorney's office, your therapist's room, your mediator's table.

 

FREE DOWNLOAD: The Divorce Questions Everyone Is Asking AI, a companion guide with key takeaways and resources. Find it here

If this episode helped you, please share it and leave a review. It genuinely helps the show reach the people who need it most.

_______________________________________________________________________

This Week's Sponsor: Hello Divorce

Hello Divorce is a modern platform designed to support people before, during, and beyond divorce, providing legal information, tools, and access to professionals who help individuals navigate the process more thoughtfully.

Resources created specifically for Divorce & Beyond listeners are available at HelloDivorce.com/Susan.

If This Episode Helped You

Subscribe to Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode. Share it with someone who needs clear, reliable guidance right now. And if you have a moment, leaving a five-star review makes a real difference in helping this show reach the people who need it most.

Follow Divorce & Beyond

Website: divorceandbeyondpod.com

Instagram: instagram.com/divorceandbeyondpod

________________________________________________________________________

About Our Host: Susan E. Guthrie, Esq.

Susan E. Guthrie is one of the nation's leading family law and mediation attorneys, with more than 35 years of experience helping individuals navigate divorce with clarity and strategy. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker and trainer.

Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast and has been cited in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC Chicago Today, among others.

As the creator and host of Divorce & Beyond, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with millions of downloads and an Apple Top 100 Self-Help designation, Susan brings together top legal and mental health experts to help listeners move through divorce and into what comes next.

Learn more at https://divorceandbeyondpod.com/about

Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions shared on this podcast are for informational and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute legal advice. Consult a licensed attorney in your state regarding your specific situation.