So much of what women contend with during divorce is really intense grief. Sometimes they don't name it that or even realize that's what's happening, but that is what's happening. Barri Leiner Grant, founder and Chief Grief Officer™ of The Memory Circle, is back with me to keep the conversation going about grieving before, during, and after divorce.
For those new to Barri, her community and creative space is created for those learning to live with loss. She's a highly respected grief specialist, writer, coach, and educator, and she leads transformative gatherings, retreats, and workshops that explore grief tending tools, rituals, and practices that foster connection, healing, and hope.
In this conversation, Barri and I get into why we're still such a grief-denying society when it comes to non-death loss, and we spend a good chunk of time on rituals. Because here's the thing: there is no funeral for a divorce. No burial, nothing formal. So we talk about how women can make their own. Like burying a copy of your decree (just not the only one, you'll need it). Lighting a candle on the anniversary. Writing yourself a letter. Painting the inside of your front door hot pink. Getting the tattoo. Whatever helps you name the loss, move the energy, and reclaim the space.
What you'll hear about in this episode:
Why women become their own judge and jury about naming non-death loss (1:54)
Why grieving a divorce feels confusing even if you're the one who asked for it, and why the future you imagined is still a real loss (3:26)
What Barri's own divorce (layered on top of losing her mom) taught her about asking for support (5:06)
Why writing is one of the most accessible grief tending tools (20:02)
Grief tending, self-compassion, and why it's not a just bath with salts (26:26)
Why making your own ritual matters when the culture doesn't give you one (33:20)
Learn more about Barri Leiner Grant:
Barri Leiner Grant is a highly respected grief specialist, author and founder of The Memory Circle, a creative and healing space for remembrance and ritual. Barri brings a distinct aesthetic sensibility to the field of grief work—bridging beauty and healing in ways that feel modern, personal, and deeply human.
She is the creator of Permission Granted, a widely read Substack newsletter that invites readers to navigate loss with honesty, tenderness, and earned wisdom. Barri is recognized for her unique approach to grief support, which combines writing storytelling, ritual and community to help people mark loss with intention and carry memories forward with care.
Sought after as a speaker, collaborator, and guide, Barri is redefining how we talk about grief.
Her work has been featured in The Washington Post, Psychology Today, Maria Shriver's Sunday paper and award winning podcasts.
Resources & Links:
Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate
The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Kate on Instagram
Kate on Facebook
Kate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube!
Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce
Connect with Barri Leiner-Grant
The Memory Circle
Barri on Instagram
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DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
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Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-367-rituals-for-divorce-grief-with-barri-leiner-grant/
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