The Not So Breakfast Show

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Midweek Mini: Put Out the Match, Not the Bushfire
Hope is not a strategy. When you see that little flare of trouble in your team, process, or system, and you think "I hope that dies out on its own" - that's the moment to act. Three weeks later when you're fighting a bushfire, you'll wish you'd dealt with the match.
The Core Principle
Small conversations feel awkward because you're bringing up something that seems minor. But issues escalate quickly:
Employee giving you a little bit of tone
Meeting disagreement that wasn't handled well
Process starting to break down
Relationship tension beginning to show
Why We Avoid the Match
Feels too small to address
Might make things weird
Hope it resolves itself
Don't want to seem petty
Busy with bigger fires

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Not So Breakfast Show - Episode 249: How to Be Agreeably Disagreeable
Sacha's experimenting with fake tan for the first time at nearly 53 (she looks like a giraffe's coat of many colors, according to her assessment), while Ish is fresh from the gym, sweaty and smelly (lucky they record on line). Today's topic: How do you disagree without becoming a career-limiting liability? How do you challenge ideas without tearing people down?
Main Topics
The Contrarian Personality -- Sacha admits being disagreeable is almost a central trait - always looking at arguments from both sides, naturally questioning everything, enabled by upbeat personality that masks how disagreeable she actually is
The Power Balance Reality -- Before disagreeing, assess: Is this your boss? A colleague? Someone who reports to you? The approach must shift based on power dynamics.
The Three-Phase Framework -- Start with alignment (find common ground), ask clarifying questions (joint problem-solving), offer next steps (pilot tests, comparison options)
Separating Ideas from People -- Pressure test ideas, not individuals. The sooner teams learn to separate their ideas from themselves, the freer everyone feels to contribute and challenge.
The Disagreement Framework
PHASE 1: START WITH ALIGNMENT
Find what you agree on before highlighting differences:
Examples:
"I understand what we're trying to do here. I know we're aligned on the end result being X..."
"I'm with you on the outcome. I just see the path to get there a little bit differently."
"We all agree we want to live in a country where every child gets opportunity..."
PHASE 2: ASK CLARIFYING QUESTIONS
Get more information without setting people up to fail:
Good Questions:
"Help me understand what you're optimizing for"
"Help me understand what factors you're prioritizing with this idea"
"Can I offer another angle? I'd like to present a few other ways of looking at it"
"Is there more data we need to collect to give us better sense of which way to proceed?"
PHASE 3: OFFER NEXT STEPS
Suggest ways forward that don't make it winner-takes-all:
Examples:
"How about we try both approaches and determine which gets best result?"
"Maybe we should spend time exploring both options equally, then decide"
"I'd love to work with you on this - if we could have half an hour tomorrow, let's find where the issues are"
"Let's pressure test these ideas to see how they stack up"
Bottom Line
Being disagreeable effectively requires starting with what you agree on, asking questions that truly seek understanding, and offering collaborative next steps. Separate ideas from people. Build reputation for helpfulness. Accept defeat graciously.

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MWM - One-Shot Moments
Ish watched Ed Sheeran's Netflix special - one continuous hour-long shot following him from gig to gig across New York. No cuts, no edits, just seamless performance requiring massive preparation. It got him thinking: How many one-shot moments do we have in our lives where we just wing it instead of doing the prep that moment deserves?
Main Topic
The One-Shot Reality -- First impressions, crucial interviews, important presentations, make-or-break meetings. You don't get do-overs, yet we often show up hoping it'll be okay instead of ensuring it will be.
Key Insights
Ed Sheeran's One-Hour Continuous Shot - Behind the scenes reveals actors, staging, guitar swaps, route planning - all orchestrated to look effortless. The seamlessness came from preparation, not luck.
You Don't Get a Second First Impression - Whether it's an interview, client meeting, or important conversation, your best self needs to show up the first time.
The Preparation Guarantee - Sacha's standard: "When I've given something my best shot, if it didn't work, it wasn't because I wasn't prepared enough. I left everything out there."
Questions to Ask Yourself
What one-shot moments do I have coming up this week?First meetings, presentations, interviews, and crucial conversations

Am I treating them with the preparation they deserve?Or am I just hoping it'll be okay?

What would "leaving everything out there" look like for this moment?What prep would make me confident I did my best regardless of the outcome?

How do I want people to feel after this interaction?First impressions set standards and expectations

Bottom Line
One-shot moments happen throughout your week. Identify them. Prepare for them. Show up as your best self. If it doesn't work out, at least you know it wasn't because you didn't do the work.
Visit our website: notsobreakfastshow.com
PS: Happy Dump Day!

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Episode 248
It's Wednesday - traditionally "hump day" - but Sacha and Ish are rebranding it as "dump day" because they both have the minds of 12-year-old boys and can't get past the fornication implications. This episode is all about mental decluttering: getting the thoughts, tasks, and guilt out of your head so you can actually focus on what matters. From constipation metaphors to earthquake guilt, they cover why carrying less helps you show up as your best self.
Main Topics
The Midweek Brain Dump -- Why Wednesday is the perfect time to offload everything cluttering your mental bandwidth and check if you're still on track with the week's priorities
Mental Scrolling vs. Mental Dumping -- 80% of today's thoughts are the same as yesterday's. Breaking the pattern requires getting everything out of your head and onto paper.
Sacha's Constipation Metaphor -- During chemo, anti-nausea drugs created the feeling of "concrete between hips and ribs." Mental clutter feels the same - blocked, powerless, unable to move. Dumping creates space.
The 150 People Theory -- Sacha's persistent mental itch: humans can only maintain relationships with ~150 people. She wants to write down everyone she knows to scratch this itch and unlock creativity.
The Hand in Front of Your Face Technique -- When something consumes all your attention, it's like holding your hand directly in front of your face - you can only see that one thing. Pull it back to see context. Lower it completely to avoid looking at it right now.
Processing World Events -- How to acknowledge heavy news (landslides, geopolitical events, tragedy) without letting it paralyse you. Write it down, send love/prayer, then give yourself permission to continue functioning.
The Dump Day Process
What to Dump:
Everything currently on your mental radar
Tasks you planned for Monday that got derailed
Other people's emergencies that became your priorities
Conversations you're rehearsing in your head
Guilt you're carrying for incomplete tasks
World events weighing on your mind
Midweek Check-In Questions:
What were my 1-3 priorities at the start of the week?
Am I still on track, or has someone else's emergency hijacked my focus?
What can I delete/dump to get back on course?
What am I carrying that I need to let go of?
Dump day isn't about doing more - it's about carrying less so you can be more effective with what you're actually holding.
The Extemporaneous Moment
Ish finally remembered the word he was searching for in the last episode: extemporaneous (remarks made in formal settings that seem off-the-cuff but come from deep preparation). The freedom that comes from being prepared enough to freestyle.
Call to Action
This Wednesday, take 15 minutes to dump everything in your brain onto paper. Categorise if it helps. Delete what's just guilt. Identify what hijacked your original priorities. Then decide what you're actually carrying into the second half of the week.
Visit our website: notsobreakfastshow.com
PS: Other potential day names discussed: Jump day, Sump day, Lump day, Pump day (workout). All rejected for sexual implications. We're very mature.

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The Not So Breakfast Show - Midweek Mini
 Episode: What Is Your Shadow?
Episode Summary
Every strength has a shadow side. If Superman were evil, he'd have all his abilities but use them for harm. This quick mini explores the downside of your strengths—from being the idea person who never finishes anything, to being so helpful you burn out and resent everyone. The trick? Take micro-pauses to ask: Does this situation need my strength right now, or am I best served by pulling back?
Key Insights
• Your greatest strength, when overused or poorly timed, becomes your greatest weakness
• The shadow creates barriers when you're trying to connect
• Recognition is the first step—you can't manage what you don't acknowledge
• Take micro-pauses to ask: "Does this situation need this right now?"
• Sometimes Superman was just a journalist, and that's okay
 The Practice
1. Identify your core strength
2. Ask: What's the downside when this is overused?
3. Notice: When does my strength create barriers instead of connections?
4. Pause: Before deploying your strength, ask if the situation actually needs it
5. Pull back: Give others space to step up
 Reflect & Share
What's your shadow? Share your strength and its flip side with us.
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