The AuDHD Boss: Neurodiversity at Work with Brett Whitmarsh

Most neurodivergent employees don't know what accommodations they can ask for — and without that, the process stalls before it starts.
In this episode, I walk through the 10 most commonly requested AuDHD workplace accommodations according to Job Accommodation Network data, with the exact functional limitation language and scripting you can adapt for your own request. Each accommodation includes the framing the JAN recommends, plus real-world context from someone who spent over 12 years in corporate leadership — including as a VP — before their own late ADHD and autism diagnosis.
We cover quiet workspaces, noise-canceling headphones, remote work, written follow-up after verbal instructions, flexible scheduling, structured check-ins, structured breaks, advance notice of changes, assistive technology, and neurodiversity coaching through an EAP. For every one, you'll hear why it works and exactly how to say it.
Free resource: The AuDHD Accommodations Prep Guide — Know What to Ask For and How to Say It is linked below. payhip.com/b/j0rvk

If you're neurodivergent and considering a workplace accommodation request, disclosure is probably the thing stopping you. Do you have to tell HR you're autistic or have ADHD? Who else finds out?
The answer is more nuanced than most people explain — and in this episode, I'm giving you the version that holds up, including the part most content on this topic gets wrong.
We cover the informal path (manager only, no HR, no paperwork) versus what actually happens once the formal process starts. What the ADA protects — and what it doesn't. And the practical call on who to approach first, with real context from someone who has been on the management side of this conversation.
Free resource: Download The AuDHD Accommodations Prep Guide — Know What to Ask For and How to Say It at http://payhip.com/b/j0rvk

Topics: ADHD at work, autism at work, AuDHD, workplace accommodations, ADA accommodations, disability disclosure, how to request accommodations, neurodivergent employees, HR and disability, accommodation request process

In this episode, I’m talking about emotional flooding at work and what it feels like for me as someone with ADHD and autism. I share how misunderstanding, conflict, masking, and nervous system overload can affect my processing, my body, and the rest of my day. I also talk about what helps me move through it and why context and thoughtful communication matter so much at work.

Chapter:
00:00 What emotional flooding is for me
01:46 What happens in my body
03:32 Masking while overwhelmed
05:08 Why I need verbal processing
06:46 Spiraling and trying not to react
08:10 The crash afterward
08:58 When more context changes everything
10:43 Why this matters at work

Resources mentioned:

Substack: [link]

Coaching: [link]

Workbook: [link]

Caroline Maguire: [link]

Bridget’s post: [link]

Purity culture. High control religion. Autistic masking. In this episode, Brett (The AuDHD Boss) gets vulnerable about growing up in a fundamentalist evangelical environment—and how rigid rules and shame can stay in your body long after you’ve “left.”
Brett is late-diagnosed Autistic + ADHD, and in this conversation with author and educator Erica Smith, they explore why purity culture can feel especially “sticky” when you’re used to rule-following, people-pleasing, and masking for safety. Erica is the author of The Purity Culture Recovery Guide: The Shame-Free Sex Education You Deserve and founder of the Purity Culture Dropout Program—inclusive, trauma-informed education many of us never received.
In this episode we talk about:
What purity culture is (and how it became a movement)

How shame and fear shape relationships and identity

Why rigid rules can feel “safe”—and how to replace them with your values

What “deconstruction” means and how it can support healing

“Is it too late?” (No. Ever.)

Late coming-out, “second adolescence,” and reclaiming your timeline

How to talk to partners about your background without apologizing for it

Links & resources:
Erica Smith’s book (affiliate): https://bookshop.org/a/108800/9798881801304
Purity Culture Dropout Program: https://www.ericasmitheac.com/the-purity-culture-dropout-program
More from AuDHD Boss: AuDHDboss.com
(For education and lived experience—not medical advice.)
00:00 Purity culture, high control religion & autistic masking
00:56 Leaving the church, carrying shame + rigid rules
01:47 Meet Erica Smith + The Purity Culture Recovery Guide
02:47 What purity culture is (broad + specific)
04:15 Why it took hold in the 90s (True Love Waits)
05:46 Reading recovery work when it feels activating
07:42 Skip to the chapters you need (how Erica designed the book)
10:10 Myths and misinformation purity culture taught
12:59 Long-term impacts: fear, paralysis, pain, disconnection
14:53 Autistic masking + rigid rule-following overlap
16:04 Replacing rules with your values
18:02 What “deconstruction” means
18:47 “Is it too late?”
21:27 Late coming-out + “second adolescence”
24:49 Why “waiting for marriage” still has a hold
28:02 Talking to partners without apologizing
30:18 Final thoughts + where to find Erica

What was that moment you thought, “Oh… I think I have ADHD”?
In this episode, I’m joined by Cate Osborn (Catieosaurus) and Erik Gude (Hey Gude)—the authors of The ADHD Field Guide for Adults—for a practical, honest conversation about what it actually looks like to live with ADHD as an adult.
We talk about why so much “helpful” advice doesn’t work for ADHD brains, how to build systems you can restart without shame, and what support can look like when you’re late-diagnosed (including when ADHD overlaps with autism/AuDHD).
And yes—we also go into the adult stuff: relationships, intimacy, sex, communication, and the parts of ADHD life people don’t always say out loud.
In this episode, we cover:
How Cate and Erik approached writing a book as two people with ADHD

Executive dysfunction, motivation, and why “simple” solutions often fail

ADHD-friendly systems, accommodations, and sustainable routines

ADHD and relationships: intimacy, communication, and repair

Self-compassion and personal responsibility—holding both at once

 The ADHD Field Guide for Adults

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