Becoming Me

Episode 169
I've been quiet for the past month without an announced break. In this shorter episode I share with you the reason for my silence as well as an update about what's happening in the podcast. 
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Links to my recent Holy Week written sharings (mentioned in this episode):

To My Fellow Complex Trauma Survivors Who Struggle with Holy Week
A Good Friday Confession (I Don't Feel Anything)
Before You Ask Catholics to “Come Home” this Easter
Easter Hope for the Spiritually Traumatised

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Episode 168

In this re-sharing of a Season 10 episode, I explore why deconstruction is a necessary part of healing from complex trauma — especially for people of faith.

I define deconstruction as questioning assumptions we've never questioned before and opening up to new possibilities. I share three zones where I've experienced this:

1. Self-Identity — Differentiating between the survival "Role Self" I built to be accepted and my true "Core Self" that had been buried.

2. Familial & Cultural Values — Recognising how traditions and values handed down through my family facilitated harm and kept me silent.

3. Faith — Wrestling with the growing gap between who God revealed Himself to be in my healing journey and the God of my religious upbringing.

I also discuss why healing requires more than religious or doctrinal belief — it demands a deep, existential trust that we are held by a love greater than ourselves.

I close with reflection questions to help you identify where deconstruction may be showing up in your own journey. You don't need answers — just acknowledging the questions is powerful.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
CHAPTER MARKERS
0:00 Introduction
4:08 Defining Deconstruction
5:53 Defining Deconstruction
10:11 3 Zones of Deconstruction
12:07 1. Self-Identity Deconstruction
18:43 2. Familial and Cultural Values Deconstruction
24:07 3. Faith and Religious Deconstruction
39:01 Existential Faith vs Religious or Doctrinal Assent
46:34 Questions for Pondering and Conclusion
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Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.

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Episode 167
In this episode, I'm exploring deconstruction through the lens of differentiation and individuation—two psychological concepts that have profoundly shaped my faith journey.
For years, I related to Catholicism the way I related to my family of origin—with enmeshment, not healthy boundaries. I believed that closeness meant having no division, that love meant disappearing into the other. I carried this into my relationship with God, believing I had to disappear into Him rather than becoming fully myself.
In this episode, I talk about:
What differentiation and individuation mean in the context of faith
How enmeshment in family systems mirrors enmeshment with the Church
Why questioning and discernment are essential to mature faith
The difference between mystical oneness and emotionally healthy individuation
Learning to trust my own desires instead of fearing them
How healing from trauma is itself an act of differentiation
Watch this recording on YouTube.
RESOURCE
James Finley, The Healing Path: A Memoir and an Invitation
CHAPTER MARKERS
0:00 Why do some lose faith in God and some do not?
1:32 The Commenter's Argument
3:31 Deconstruction Beyond Intellect
8:13 James Finley's Story
14:01 Spiritual But Not Religious
17:42 When Personal Encounters Make God Real Beyond Doubt
21:32 Conflicting Imprints of God in the Nervous System
25:49 When Faith Depends on Constructs
41:30 Beyond the Visible Church
42:30 The Apophatic Tradition
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Episode 166
In this bonus mini-episode,  I share what it's like to taste the fruit of a nine year long interior integration and healing process of my family of origin complex trauma. I describe in concrete terms what this feels like in my body and in the impact I see it has on the rest of my family. I hope this encourages those who are similar healing journeys!
Watch on YouTube here.
Support the show
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Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.

Newsletter:
Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.

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Episode 165
Have you ever wondered why some people deconstruct not only their religion but also their entire faith in God, while others deconstruct aspects of organised religion yet retain a relationship with the divine or even with the Christian God?
In this episode, I explore the distinction between deconstructing our notions of God and deconstructing the institutional aspects of faith like Christianity or Catholicism. Drawing from personal experience, I discuss how our individual deconstruction journeys unfold differently based on the depth of our personal encounters with God versus what we've been taught through religious tradition.
In this episode I discuss
• The difference between deconstructing religion vs. deconstructing God
• How personal mystical experiences shape our faith journey
• How conflicting imprints about God in our nervous systems can create an insecure, “disorganised” or confused attachment with God
• Understanding "spiritual but not religious" in the context of deconstruction
• The apophatic (mystical) tradition in Christianity
Watch this recording on YouTube.
RESOURCE
James Finley, The Healing Path: A Memoir and an Invitation
CHAPTER MARKERS
0:00 Why do some lose faith in God and some do not?
1:32 The Commenter's Argument
3:31 Deconstruction Beyond Intellect
8:13 James Finley's Story
14:01 Spiritual But Not Religious
17:42 When Personal Encounters Make God Real Beyond Doubt
21:32 Conflicting Imprints of God in the Nervous System
25:49 When Faith Depends on Constructs
41:30 Beyond the Visible Church
42:30 The Apophatic Tradition
Support the show
SUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORT

Social Media:
Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.

Newsletter:
Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.

Support the Show:
Monthly Support (starting at USD$3)
One-time Donation

Leave a Review:
If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.