EVOLVE with Dr. Tay: the podcast for parents of autistic kids

about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇
what happens when you're parenting autistic kids while also figuring out your own neurotype, capacity, and what actually works for your family?
dr. tay welcomes back katherine l'etang, known as @theneurodiversitymom, to celebrate her new book, Actually, I'm Autistic: Relatable Advice from a Late-Diagnosed Woman Who Couldn't Mask Forever.
together, they explore autistic burnout, masking, and the pressure to do everything "right" as a parent. katherine shares how her family's journey has evolved, why small moments of restoration matter, and how experiences that once felt impossible can change over time.
it's a conversation about embracing your own needs, honoring your child's, and recognizing that there isn't one right way to navigate autism or parenting.

you’ll hear about:
why katherine wanted to write a book that combines lived experience, research, and practical guidance
the importance of intersectionality and recognizing that no single autistic experience is universal
how small moments of joy and restoration can support parents navigating burnout
when researching and trying to find the "right" answers can become another source of overwhelm
how katherine's son's school journey evolved from burnout and school withdrawal to thriving in a classroom
why respecting your own capacity and leaving room for nuance matters in neurodiversity-affirming parenting


timestamps
00:00 introducing katherine’s book and her return to the show
04:22 why intersectionality belongs in autism conversations
06:00 a chapter-a-month writing process amid parenting and a move
09:30 burnout, cathartic writing, and the chapter that was hardest
12:19 small glimmers and realistic restoration for parents
16:20 survival, research overload, and noticing the present
20:33 how katherine's son's school journey changed over time
23:14 writing about family, vulnerability, and masking
27:28 what katherine is proud of and why the book is a handbook
32:04 parent capacity, a gradual school return, and the need for nuance
37:08 making room for complexity beyond social media
38:21 closing reflections and sharing the book

resources
⚡️ Actually, I'm Autistic: Relatable Advice from a Late-Diagnosed Woman Who Couldn't Mask Forever by Katherine L'Etang — explore and preorder Katherine's new book (out on Nov 3, 2026), which combines lived experience with practical information about autism, masking, self-discovery, diagnosis, and parenting
⚡️ follow Katherine on Instagram @theneurodiversitymom for her lived experience and reflections on being autistic and raising neurodivergent kids
⚡️ return to Katherine's previous episode (#95) as well as the three-part burnout series (episodes #234-236)
⚡️ EVOLVE the membership — ongoing education, monthly masterclasses, and weekly Q+A support for parents of autistic kids
⚡️ explore dr. tay's clinical services, parent resources, and support at drtaylorday.com
⚡️ follow dr. tay on Instagram @the.dr.tay for practical autism education, behind-the-scenes reflections, and parenting insights

about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇
this episode wraps up our three-part series on autistic burnout.
dr. tay is joined by amanda diekman, author of The Parent's Handbook for Kids in Burnout, to talk about what burnout recovery can actually look like over time and why healing is rarely linear.
amanda breaks down the phases of burnout, how support needs change across each phase, what “deep rest” can look like for kids, and why parents may need to continually recalibrate between accommodation, capacity-building, safety, and trust.

you’ll hear about:
why burnout is often a long-term healing process rather than something to “fix”
the phases of burnout and how to recognize where your child may be
why curiosity can return before actual nervous system capacity
how accommodation needs can shift throughout recovery
the role of school, medication, therapy, safety planning, and basic needs
what deep rest can actually look like for autistic kids
why parents often need support for their own nervous systems, too


timestamps
00:00 introduction to burnout and amanda diekman's background
02:15 the long journey of writing the burnout book
03:16 shifting mindset from fixing to living well in burnout
04:24 understanding burnout as a long-term process
06:34 defining burnout
08:08 the impact of school and environment on burnout
16:22 the butterfly metaphor: from chrysalis to emergence
19:58 phase one: the child as "a pile of goo"
21:01 phase two: curious but no capacity
23:27 learning to communicate and trust building
24:17 phase three: re-emergence and thriving
39:53 deep rest and recognizing signs of exhaustion

resources
⚡️ The Parent's Handbook for Kids in Burnout by amanda diekman — a low-demand guide to understanding burnout, supporting recovery, navigating the different phases, and helping your child heal and thrive
⚡️ other episodes to listen to include amanda's previous episode (113), episode 204, and parts 1 and 2 of this series (234 & 235)
⚡️ EVOLVE the membership — ongoing education, monthly masterclasses, and weekly Q+A support for parents of autistic kids
⚡️ explore dr. tay’s clinical services, parent resources, and support at drtaylorday.com
⚡️ follow dr. tay on instagram @the.dr.tay for practical autism education, behind-the-scenes reflections, and parenting insights

about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇
this episode is part 2 of our autistic burnout series.
dr. tay is joined by patrick casale, a neurodivergent therapist, podcaster, entrepreneur, and group practice owner, for a conversation about what autistic burnout can feel like .
patrick shares his lived experience with burnout, the overlap between autistic burnout and chronic illness, the impact of societal demands, and why recovery is rarely as simple as “just reduce demands” or “take a break.”
this conversation offers both validation and practical insight for parents who are trying to better understand their child’s burnout, support recovery, and recognize early warning signs before the nervous system fully crashes.

you’ll hear about:
what autistic burnout can feel like
why burnout can overlap with chronic illness, sleep disruption, and mental health
how societal demands and sensory overwhelm contribute to depletion
why reducing demands is important, but not always simple or realistic
how joy, meaning, autonomy, and special interests can support recovery
what parents can look for when burnout may be approaching


timestamps
00:00 introduction to autistic burnout and guest
01:28 why conversations about burnout are increasing
02:44 overlap between chronic illness and autistic burnout
05:24 what autistic burnout looks like
07:12 complexity of supporting children in burnout
10:01 restructuring life to manage burnout
12:04 the impact of society and privilege
17:02 supporting children’s interests and joy
21:10 patrick’s journey to autism diagnosis
23:48 transitioning to a therapist and entrepreneur
26:16 running a neurodivergent-led practice
33:28 recognizing and responding to burnout signs
36:04 balancing demands and building capacity
37:19 final thoughts and glimmers of hope

resources
⚡️ patrick casale’s linktree — connect with patrick, his podcasts, social media, and clinical/business resources
⚡️ Resilient Mind Counseling — Patrick’s neurodivergent-led therapy practice serving clients in North Carolina
⚡️ episode 183 — a related episode on co-occurring health conditions that can overlap with neurodivergence, including chronic illness patterns discussed in this conversation
⚡️ listen to part 1 of this series (episode 234) and stay tuned for part 3 with amanda diekman on how to support your autistic child through burnout
⚡️ EVOLVE the membership — ongoing education, monthly masterclasses, and weekly Q+A support for parents of autistic kids
⚡️ explore dr. tay’s clinical services, parent resources, and support at drtaylorday.com
⚡️ follow dr. tay on instagram @the.dr.tay for practical autism education, behind-the-scenes reflections, and parenting insights

about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇
this episode kicks off a three-part series on autistic burnout.
dr. tay shares what she sees clinically when autistic kids are in burnout, why it can be so confusing for parents, and why traditional approaches to depression, behavior, or school refusal may not fully capture what is happening.
this is a primer episode to help you understand what autistic burnout can look like, what makes it different, and why recovery often requires time, nervous system repair, reduced demands, and support for the whole family.

you’ll hear about:
what autistic burnout can look like in kids
the three core features of autistic burnout
why burnout can overlap with anxiety, depression, PDA, and school refusal
why “just getting out and doing things” may not help during burnout
how recovery often happens slowly and incrementally
why your child is not trying to be difficult


timestamps
00:00 introducing the three-part autistic burnout series
03:25 what this series aims to offer parents
08:36 defining autistic burnout
10:20 skill regression, sensory overwhelm, and deep exhaustion
13:33 how autistic burnout can differ from depression
17:27 intro to burnout phases and what recovery can look like
21:47 recovery, lowering demands, and rebuilding capacity
26:05 closing reassurance and episode wrap-up

resources
⚡️ EVOLVE the membership — ongoing education, monthly masterclasses, and weekly Q+A support for parents of autistic kids
⚡️ explore dr. tay’s clinical services, parent resources, and support at drtaylorday.com
⚡️ follow dr. tay on instagram @the.dr.tay for practical autism education, behind-the-scenes reflections, and parenting insights

about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇
if your child is melting down, resisting, avoiding, running, crashing, or seeming impossible to support, sensory may be part of the story.
in this episode, dr. tay welcomes laura petix, occupational therapist and author of The Sensory Code, back to the podcast to talk about sensory regulation, sensory profiles, meltdowns, and how parents can start building sensory support into daily life in a way that actually fits their child.

you’ll hear about:
why sensory regulation can be so impactful for autistic children
what parents may miss when they only focus on stopping the behavior
laura’s personal experience as an OT mom navigating intense meltdowns
why parent regulation matters, even when that advice feels frustrating
the 8 sensory systems and how to think about sensory “cups”
how The Sensory Code helps parents understand sensory profiles and daily supports


timestamps
00:00 introduction to sensory regulation in autism
02:02 why sensory supports are crucial for children
04:56 laura's personal journey as an OT mom
09:56 understanding sensory profiles and thresholds
14:59 supporting regulation through simple strategies
20:01 the power of mindset shifts in parenting
24:57 using sensory profiles to tailor activities
29:56 overview of The Sensory Code book
34:59 case study: tactile defensiveness and behavior
40:00 building a sensory lifestyle for daily support

resources
⚡️ The Sensory Code by laura petix — learn more about the book, sensory profiles, and pre-order bonuses
⚡️ connect with laura on Instagram @theotbutterfly and find resources on her website
⚡️ EVOLVE the membership — ongoing education, monthly masterclasses, and weekly Q+A support for parents of autistic kids
⚡️ explore dr. tay’s clinical services, parent resources, and support at drtaylorday.com
⚡️ follow dr. tay on instagram @the.dr.tay for practical autism education, behind-the-scenes reflections, and parenting insights