Putting Out Fires and Dancing Among the Flames: Austin Channing Brown on the Work and Joy of Being “Full of Myself”
Description:
Today, Jen has a discussion with her longtime friend, brilliant thought-leader and activist, Austin Channing Brown. You probably know Austin from her viral first book, I’m Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness, which flew off shelves in 2020 following the murder of George Floyd, as we were witnessing worldwide protests, calls for police reform, and a radical change to our racial justice systems. Countless people trusted Austin to help them unpack and understand the racial reckoning going on in our country at that time.
Now, Austin is releasing a new project that shares some of her hard-fought learnings gained since that tumultuous time. Full of Myself: Black Womanhood and the Journey to Self-Possession is a love letter to the black women, like Austin herself, who are exhausted from being everything to everyone but themselves. Across essays titled “I Love Myself When I Am Laughing,” “When I Am Awkward,” “When I Am Failing,” and more, Austin celebrates the fullness of her humanity. Each chapter becomes a mirror, asking women—especially Black women—to consider where they’ve given themselves away and what it would mean to live with self-possession instead.
Highlights from this conversation include:
What it means to Austin to be “full of herself”—a phrase she reclaimed as an act of resistance, dignity, and spiritual integrity
What happens in our bodies when we operate out of alignment with ourselves
What it means to be a Black woman striving to live fully in a world that often demands her silence, her labor, and her conformity
And the inspirational, life-saving advice that Austin received from activist, Tarana Burke
This is such a good conversation starter and one to be shared, for sure.
Thought-provoking Quotes:
“I'm sick of white people telling me I have to remain in unhealthy workplaces, unhealthy worship spaces, unhealthy towns in order to save them. Everywhere I go, I'm told I should sacrifice myself for the possibility of whiteness getting its shit together.” – Austin Channing Brown
“I grew up in an era that we called racial reconciliation. ‘Racial justice’ was too hard. It implied that there were two people who had both done wrong and needed to come together. And the way that was often phrased for people of color was that we needed to teach, we needed to offer grace, we needed to bend over backwards, we needed to touch hearts and minds, endless patience, we needed to watch our tone, we needed to be open and inviting. It was all about what we needed to do.” – Austin Channing Brown
“There is an integrity, accountability, and power that comes with being full of myself. And there is a lack of needing to please anybody else. Because I'm full of me.” – Austin Channing Brown
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Full of Myself: Black Womanhood and the Journey to Self-Possession by Austin Channing Brown - https://amzn.to/4k0SQI1
I'm Still Here: Reese's Book Club: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness by Austin Channing Brown - https://amzn.to/4jElqyn
Nikki Giovanni, poet - https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poets/nikki-giovanni
Zora Neale Hurston - https://www.zoranealehurston.com/
I Love Myself When I Am Laughing And Then Again When I Am Looking Mean & Impressive by Zora Neale Hurston - https://amzn.to/3FVpGvA
Tarana Burke - https://www.taranaburke.com/
Guest’s Links:
Website - https://austinchanning.com/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/austinchanning/
Twitter - https://x.com/austinchanning
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/austinchanningbrown
Substack - https://substack.com/@austinchanning
Connect with Jen!Jen’s Website - https://jenhatmaker.com/
Jen’s Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmakerJen’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/
Jen’s Facebook - https://facebook.com/jenhatmakerJen’s YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmaker
The For the Love Podcast is presented by Audacy.
To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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1:08:52
Gird Your Loins: Dr. Celeste Holbrook Delivers the “Sex Talk” You Never Had but Deserved
Description:
Today’s conversation might have you clutching your pearls and purity rings. Jen and Amy sit down with Dr. Celeste Holbrook—sexologist, educator, and author of Missionary Position: A Slightly Irreverent Guide to Sex After Purity Culture—for the candid, hilarious, and healing “sex talk” you never had but always deserved.
From busting purity culture myths to unpacking women’s complicated relationship with pleasure, Dr. Holbrook shares the four “inner missionaries” that shape our approach to sex, why sexual shame runs so deep, and how to reclaim intimacy as the joyful gift it was always meant to be.
Highlights include:
Unpacking women' s complicated relationship with pleasure
Dr. Holbrook prescribes the best sexy-time soundtrack
Review of the four inner missionaries (the Analyst, the Assassin, the Healer, and the Explorer) – the archetypes that define our individual approach to sex
Celeste reveals a surprising fact that both golf carts and ejaculate have in common
How the combination of purity culture, patriarchy and capitalism are the oppression cocktail for sex
And the conversation veers off course when the trio discusses an exercise that uses Jason Mamoa to evaluate their sexual ethics
Thought-provoking Quotes:
“When I say sex education saved my relationship, I am not being bombastic. It really did help me find myself.” – Dr. Celeste Holbrook
“We view sex through a patriarchal lens. Media tells us how to feel about sex and what is sexy. So what is sexy has been historically white, thin, able-bodied, young… And the way that we view ourselves then says, well, what if I'm not all of those things? Am I still sexy? Is my body still OK?” – Dr. Celeste Holbrook
“The work for us, especially as women, is to anchor into our body to experience sensuality in order to experience sex instead of perform sex.” – Dr. Celeste Holbrook
“We need to be inside the system in order to take down the system.” – Dr. Celeste Holbrook
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Jen Hatmake’s Sex MeCourse: SexEd For the Rest of Us - https://shop.jenhatmaker.com/products/sex-101
Pantsuit Politics - https://www.instagram.com/pantsuitpolitics/
Missionary Position: A Slightly Irreverent Guide to Sex after Purity Culture by Dr. Celeste Holbrook - https://amzn.to/46StjOa
For the Love of Men by Liz Plank – https://amzn.to/41JtRSS
Say Yes to Pleasure: How to Talk About Sex and Rekindle Intimacy in Midlife with Vanessa Marin – https://jenhatmaker.com/podcasts/series-64/say-yes-to-pleasure-how-to-talk-about-sex-and-rekindle-intimacy-in-midlife-with-vanessa-marin/
A Tribe Called Quest – https://atribecalledquest.com/blogs/discography
The Pleasure Club - https://www.drcelesteholbrook.com/https/thepleasureclub
Guest’s Links:
Website - https://www.drcelesteholbrook.com/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/drcelesteholbrook/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/DrCelesteHolbrook/
Connect with Jen!Jen’s Website - https://jenhatmaker.com/
Jen’s Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmakerJen’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/
Jen’s Facebook - https://facebook.com/jenhatmakerJen’s YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmaker
The For the Love Podcast is presented by Audacy.
To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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1:05:14
[Encore] Stop Lying to Yourself: Dr. Sara Kuburic Wants You Take Ownership of Your Choices for True Happiness
It’s time for another beloved encore presentation and this time we are bringing back this powerful podcast therapy session for your benefit and enjoyment.
Dr. Sara Kuburic, an existential psychotherapist and author behind The @Millennial.Therapist, offers profound insights into taking ownership of our lives. Dr. Kuburic champions the idea that we are free and responsible agents, shaping our own development through our choices. While it's easy to blame external forces for unhappiness, she encourages us to embrace the amazing opportunity to engage in life fully. She poses a crucial question: how much of what we face is inflicted by us, and how much just happens? As a therapist, she equips people with tools to navigate life’s challenges, asking: “what can you change or how can you change your attitude so the situation is less painful for you?” Beyond existential thought, Jen and Dr. Kuburic explore self-loss and how we can unknowingly deceive ourselves into believing we're living the life we desire, even as our bodies signal distress through depression, anxiety, and panic.
Jen and Dr. Kuburic get honest about:
The difference between loving the "idea" of who you are versus who you actually are, and how to stop self-deception.
The point when avoiding change becomes more painful than embracing it.
Acknowledging our physical limits: how our bodies send red flags like anxiety, fear, or panic, even when we feel strong.
How an all-consuming dedication to making something work, even if it's not right for us, can lead to our weakest moments if we don't face the truth.
Thought-provoking Quotes:
“We get to engage in life; we can take ownership, we can take responsibility, we can make choices, and I think that that’s really how I see human suffering. My question is always, ‘how much of it happened to you? How much of it did you inflict on yourself?’” – Dr. Sara Kuburic
“Life happens to us but that’s not all that happens. We also happen to life.” – Dr, Sara Kuburic
“The most pain I experienced actually came from my own participation, which included avoidance and self-deceit. I am not hard on myself because it came from such a pure place. I can’t be mad at myself. But, I also understand that it’s not something that serves me.” – Dr. Sara Kuburic
“The truth is there regardless of whether or not you choose to see it. It will dictate your life until you see it. So are you safe enough in yourself to handle the truth that you are resisting or avoiding? That’s a really delicate question that we need to honor.” – Dr. Sara Kuburic
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Dr. Sara Kuburic’s “For the rest of 2025” Instagram post - https://www.instagram.com/p/C_WjH0mzF9z/
It’s On Me: Accept Hard Truths, Discover Yourself and Change Your Life
by Dr. Sara Kuburic - https://amzn.to/3Uf40yf
Dr. Sara Kuburic’s USA Today Column - https://www.usatoday.com/staff/7586635002/sara-kuburic/
Guest’s Links:
Website - https://www.sara-kuburic.com/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/millennial.therapist/?hl=en
Twitter - https://x.com/SaraKuburic
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/sarakuburic/
Connect with Jen!Jen’s Website - https://jenhatmaker.com/
Jen’s Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmakerJen’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/
Jen’s Facebook - https://facebook.com/jenhatmakerJen’s YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmaker
The For the Love Podcast is presented by Audacy.
To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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1:03:26
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1:03:26
“You’re So Brave”: Tyler Merritt Turns the Tables on Jen in Part 2 of Their Vulnerable Conversation
Description:
In Part 2 of this episode, we push even deeper — into the personal, the creative, the brave, and the sometimes scary places we go when we dare to tell the truth. This time, Tyler Merritt has turned the tables on Jen and he’s asking the questions!
We talk about what it’s like to be seen, judged, misunderstood — and still choose honesty. We talk about Awake and the vulnerability involved with retelling the painful and unvarnished parts of your story. We talk about fear. And we talk about the joy we’ve found in the middle of it all. So let’s jump back in.
In this second installment:
Jen talks about the last time that she felt truly brave and what it felt like to unearth and expose some of the most tender and personal moments of her life in such an honest and examining way
Tyler asks Jen who was her best model of kindness at a young age
Jen shares the song that is reflecting her current vibe in the world
And Tyler asks Jen what she wishes more people understood about her
Thought-provoking Quotes:
"Our stories, though they may seem new, are the things that change the world." - Jen Hatmaker
“What I asked myself when deciding to include or exclude something was, am I going to be proud of this five years from now? So that's five years further down the road. I'm going to be five years more mature, five years more healed, five more years of distance. Will I be proud of what I say five years from now? And I let that be my guide.” – Jen Hatmaker
“It's been weird to be at that center of people's judgment for quite a long time now. I've evolved a lot in the public eye, which is weird for everybody. It's weird for me. It's weird for people to watch. At all points along the way, I can say sincerely, I have really and truly been trying to do my best. I just wish people knew that.” – Jen Hatmaker
“My story is not special and I think that's what makes it important. I hope that the readers will see their own story inside of it somewhere in some way on some level and then decide to take from mine what they need for theirs. So I can't wait to find out.” – Jen Hatmaker
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Depoe Bay, Oregon – https://visittheoregoncoast.com/cities/depoe-bay/
Awake: A Memoir by Jen Hatmaker - https://amzn.to/40MYuXs
Jen shares the first line from Awake – https://www.instagram.com/reel/DMrDdj4sCaQ/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=ZzdzZGdvM3h5Mmd6
This Changes Everything: A Surprisingly Funny Story About Race, Cancer, Faith, and Other Things We Don’t Talk About by Tyler Merritt – https://amzn.to/4m135Oj
Brené Brown – https://brenebrown.com/
Before You Call The Cops by The Tyler Merritt Project – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGu_xGBekpo
I Take My Coffee Black: Reflections on Tupac, Musical Theater, Faith, and Being Black in America by Tyler Merritt – https://amzn.to/47by9Gf
Luna Sea Fish House in Yachats, Oregon – https://www.lunaseafishhouse.com/
Buy My Own Drinks by Runaway June – https://open.spotify.com/track/40p6WybX0YvcLdMlLja3oL
A Door Made for Me by Tyler Merritt – https://amzn.to/4mv4jBd
A Long December by Counting Crows - https://open.spotify.com/track/1tjKIXd7DYNklhVSgBxREi
Guest’s Links:
Website - https://thetylermerrittproject.com/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/thetylermerrittproject/
Twitter - https://x.com/ttmproject
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/thetylermerrittproject
Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPB48_JfK-VMnYQPTYyMX5Q
Connect with Jen!Jen’s Website - https://jenhatmaker.com/
Jen’s Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmakerJen’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/
Jen’s Facebook - https://facebook.com/jenhatmakerJen’s YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmaker
The For the Love Podcast is presented by Audacy.
To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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42:27
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42:27
Whales, Boats, and Vulnerability w/ Tyler Merritt Part 1
Recorded live from the Oregon coast on the final day of MeCamp, this special two-part conversation between Jen and her partner Tyler Merritt is the perfect blend of hilarity, heart, and honesty.
In Part 1, Jen and Tyler share stories from their MeCamp adventures — including a whale-watching excursion that got a little too close for comfort, and a near-death boat ride they’ll never forget. They also reflect on the power of personal storytelling, how vulnerability has shown up in their lives and work, and why telling the truth (even when it’s awkward) can be both healing and hilarious.
Discussing the impact of Tyler's viral video "Before You Call the Cops" to Jen's reflections on her upcoming book "Awake," this conversation reveals the transformative potential of embracing vulnerability. Tune in to discover how opening up about our most personal stories can not only heal us but also inspire others to see themselves in our narratives.
Tyler talks about the most awkward moment he’s ever had because he opted to be vulnerable and honest instead of protecting his pride
He and Jen discuss the hardest truths they’ve ever had to tell themselves
And Tyler goes back into the annals to reveal his most embarrassing moment as a performer on stage
Thought-provoking Quotes:
“The spirit of MeCamp almost got us killed.”– Tyler Merritt
“I'm aware that it's not every day that most people see a six foot two black man with dreadlocks crying in real life. I have never regretted a single moment in my life of being transparent about how I feel emotionally with somebody. Vulnerability has never kicked back at me in a negative way.”– Tyler Merritt
“I think vulnerability begets vulnerability. Because I was saying who I am and I was allowing myself to be open to the world, the world was willing to take that. What it did within the black community is it allowed a lot of other black people to begin making their own videos going, before you call the cops, I just want you to know this about me. So it opened up a door of vulnerability that really allowed that to kind of echo.”– Tyler Merritt
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Depoe Bay, Oregon – https://visittheoregoncoast.com/cities/depoe-bay/
Awake: A Memoir by Jen Hatmaker - https://amzn.to/40MYuXs
Jen shares the first line from Awake – https://www.instagram.com/reel/DMrDdj4sCaQ/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=ZzdzZGdvM3h5Mmd6
This Changes Everything: A Surprisingly Funny Story About Race, Cancer, Faith, and Other Things We Don’t Talk About by Tyler Merritt – https://amzn.to/4m135Oj
Brené Brown – https://brenebrown.com/
Before You Call The Cops by The Tyler Merritt Project – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGu_xGBekpo
I Take My Coffee Black: Reflections on Tupac, Musical Theater, Faith, and Being Black in America by Tyler Merritt – https://amzn.to/47by9Gf
Luna Sea Fish House in Yachats, Oregon – https://www.lunaseafishhouse.com/
Buy My Own Drinks by Runaway June – https://open.spotify.com/track/40p6WybX0YvcLdMlLja3oL
A Door Made for Me by Tyler Merritt – https://amzn.to/4mv4jBd
A Long December by Counting Crows - https://open.spotify.com/track/1tjKIXd7DYNklhVSgBxREi
Guest’s Links:
Website - https://thetylermerrittproject.com/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/thetylermerrittproject/
Twitter - https://x.com/ttmproject
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/thetylermerrittproject
Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPB48_JfK-VMnYQPTYyMX5Q
Connect with Jen!Jen’s Website - https://jenhatmaker.com/
Jen’s Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmakerJen’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/
Jen’s Facebook - https://facebook.com/jenhatmakerJen’s YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmaker
The For the Love Podcast is presented by Audacy.
To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
New York Times bestselling author Jen Hatmaker and her longtime friend, Amy Hardin, have arrived in the middle years — and they couldn’t be happier about it.
Each has navigated the ins and outs of life — from careers, to parenting, marriage (and, for Jen, divorce), spiritual evolution, and the joys of being hardcore Gen Xers.
With each weekly episode, Jen and Amy serve as our “everywoman” guides to all the seasons — past, present, and future — as they walk excitedly and tenaciously into the second half of life.
While Jen and Amy have plenty of wisdom to share — and some pretty hilarious stories, too — they don’t claim to know it all. That's why they invite some of the most interesting and accomplished guests to the podcast, bringing insight, expertise, and understanding to the most relevant topics of our time. From Jen and Amy’s compelling conversations with guests to their witty banter (and the occasional eye-rolls at the absurdities of life), they’re here reassure you that you’re not alone in this game of life.
It’s “For the Love” of all that is good, justified, exasperating, exhilarating, real, fun — and so much more.