For The Love With Jen Hatmaker Podcast

Description:
This episode is sponsored by Function.
October is Menopause Awareness Month, and every time we talk about midlife bodies on this show, what you write back to me isn’t really about hot flashes. It’s about being dismissed. Walking into an appointment, saying something feels different, and being told it’s normal. Dr. Tiffany Lester, a board certified integrative medicine physician and the Women’s Health Medical Director at Function, has built her career on refusing that answer.
We get into the wellness trend she went all in on and walked away from (and why so much of the research behind it was built around men), the moment her own lab results told her perimenopause had arrived, and what a standard annual physical tends to miss. She explains why markers like ApoB and fasting insulin matter so much in our forties and fifties, whether knowing this much about your body makes you healthier or just more anxious, and where the line sits between owning your health data and needing a doctor across the table. I share what happened when I brought my own results from Function to a new doctor, and we talk about who gets left out of conversations like this one and why health equity is so personal to her.
Thought-provoking Quotes:
As Dr. Stacy Sims likes to say, we’re not little men. We are separate. And that’s okay, it’s not a bad thing. (Dr. Tiffany Lester)
I knew intellectually that this transition was coming. But I still wasn’t ready for it somehow. (Dr. Tiffany Lester)
We have in some ways been conditioned to accept the bare minimum. (Dr. Tiffany Lester)
It’s much harder to dismiss a woman when she’s there with black and white data. (Dr. Tiffany Lester)
We do not have to just grin and bear it. (Jen Hatmaker)
A lot of people don’t even know what they don’t know. But once you see it, you can’t unsee it. (Dr. Tiffany Lester)
It starts with knowing your numbers and not guessing, because you can’t manage what you don’t measure. (Dr. Tiffany Lester)
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Function - https://functionhealth.com/FortheLove: Join and use code FORTHELOVE25 for a $25 credit
The work of Dr. Stacy Sims on women’s physiology
Guest’s Links:
Website - https://drtiffanylester.com
Instagram - https://instagram.com/drtiffanylester
Substack - https://drtiffanylester.substack.com

People tell me I’m brave all the time. About the divorce, about the book, about rebuilding my life while everybody watched. And every single time, I feel a low-grade panic, because I know what it actually looked like from the inside: sitting in my parked car for 45 minutes because I could not make myself walk in, typing one sentence and deleting it 15 times, sobbing in the parking lot outside my brand new financial planner’s office. I was not brave. I was scared, and I moved forward anyway.
We’re kicking off our October series, Courage to Change: Do It Scared, and today it’s just me and you. I’m handing you a much smaller word than “ready.” Ready is a feeling, and you can’t schedule a feeling. Willing is a decision, and you can make it on a Tuesday while you unload the dishwasher. We’ll sort fear into two piles: the warning you should heed and the fee you simply have to pay. And I’m going deeper on two stories: the months I waited too long to face what was happening in my marriage, and the years I coddled my fear before publicly changing my theology on LGBTQ inclusion in 2016. That was the best fee I ever paid.
Coming up this month: Barbara Kingsolver, Kim and Penn Holderness, and Sarah Stewart Holland and Beth Silvers of Pantsuit Politics. You’re not going to feel ready. But you can get willing, and willing is available to you in the next ten minutes.
Thought-provoking Quotes:
In my life, ready never came. Not one time in my entire life did readiness already exist before the hard thing.
Ready is something like a feeling, and you can’t schedule a feeling. Willing is a decision. Willing is a choice.
Fear is not measuring whether or not you should. It is measuring whether or not this thing matters.
There is fear that is a warning that should be heeded. And then there is fear that is just a fee. It’s just a cost that you’re going to have to pay.
The first one has a real object, but the second one has an audience.
The fear was a fee. It was not a warning. And I did have to pay it. It’s the best fee I ever paid.
I may not be ready, but I am willing.
You’ve done harder things than this. And you did those things scared too.
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Awake: A Memoir by Jen Hatmaker - https://bookshop.org/p/books/untitled-memoir-jen-hatmaker/22287565
Join the AWAKE Collective on Letters from the Middle - https://jenhatmaker.substack.com
October AWAKE Collective Reflection Guide, with this month’s writing prompt: “The Thing I Would Do If I Were Not Scared”
Leave us a voicemail - https://jenhatmaker.com/podcast: Tell me the change you’re scared of, or the one you already did scared.
Connect with Jen!
Jen’s Website - https://jenhatmaker.com/
Jen’s Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmaker

Description:
Julianna Glasse was a Christian pop singer playing megachurches and arenas, married to a Major League Baseball player, and in January 2017 she sang at Donald Trump's National Prayer Breakfast weekend after voting the way her husband voted. Two years later she walked away from her faith, her marriage, and nearly everything she had built. Jen and Julianna trace the unraveling: the question she asked while holding her newborn daughter, the friend who handed her Plato's allegory of the cave, the "Christian drinkers" who changed clothes in the car after her concerts, and the day her then husband threw her books on the floor and said the sentence that became her title. They talk about love versus fear as a compass, why storytelling reaches people that shouting never will, and what Julianna would say to evangelical women quietly questioning how they vote. Now an Oxford alum, Julianna leads the This Is What Happens When Women Read foundation, which partners with Oxford's Saïd Business School to fund MBAs for women leaving high-control religions and cultures and has reached more than four million people in nearly 67 countries. Her memoir, This Is What Happens When Women Read, releases October 13.
Thought-provoking Quotes:
“You cannot know that which you do not know, but once you do know, it becomes your responsibility.” – Julianna Glasse
“Does it feel like love or does it feel like fear?” – Julianna Glasse
“This is actually what happens when women read. We notice the systems of oppression that we are in.” – Julianna Glasse
“Bare your teeth at the institution, at the dogma, at the policy. Do not bare your teeth to the human.” – Julianna Glasse
“It's just the teeniest taste of hope and freedom, and that is the most powerful taste you will ever have.” – Jen Hatmaker
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
This Is What Happens When Women Read by Julianna Glasse (pre-order)
Oxford Saïd Business School
Maria Popova, The Marginalian
Plato's Allegory of the Cave (The Republic)
Rebecca Goldstein
Walt Whitman and Ralph Waldo Emerson
The Measure of a Woman by Gene A. Getz
Guest’s Links:
Website - https://www.juliannaglasse.com/
Foundation - https://www.thisiswhathappenswhenwomenread.org/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/juliannaglasse/
Foundation Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/tiwhwwr/
Foundation Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/people/This-Is-What-Happens-When-Women-Read/61566356275917/
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/juliannaglasse/
Connect with Jen!

Description:

Why do we keep doing the same thing over and over in love? Same argument, same shutdown, same spiral, same reach toward somebody who cannot or will not reach back. We are grown. We have read the books. And still, something inside us takes the wheel and steers us right back into the ditch.
Dr. Galit Atlas says the one driving is probably not you. It is probably the child you used to be.
Galit is a psychoanalyst in New York who has spent more than twenty years in a room with people trying to talk about love. Her last book, Emotional Inheritance, was an international bestseller translated into twenty-nine languages. Her new book, Come Closer, names six wounded children most of us are hauling around inside: the frightened child, the melancholic child, the ashamed child, the invisible child, the guilty child, and the chosen child.
In this conversation, Galit walks us through all six, what each one actually looks like in an adult relationship, and why we keep reaching for the familiar even when the familiar is what hurt us. She unpacks the invisible child who learned to hide too well, the guilty child who is always bracing to be blamed, and the chosen child who cannot separate from the parent she was recruited to take care of. She also opens her own story: her father's childhood in Iran, the losses her family did not have the privilege to name, and what happened when he showed up for her at the hardest moment of her life.
This is not a book about bad parents, and the rummaging is not for its own sake. It is the only way to stop the repeating. The goal is not an apology. The goal is getting the wheel back.
Read it with a pen in hand. And you probably already know exactly who to send this one to.
Thought-provoking Quotes:
“The frightened child is afraid of closeness because they learned that the people they love and the people they depend on can hurt them.” – Dr. Galit Atlas
“The familiar is our home. For better and for worse, even if it's filled with demons, it's our home.” – Dr. Galit Atlas
“We repeat in order to repair.” – Dr. Galit Atlas
“The invisible child masters the art of disappearing.” – Dr. Galit Atlas
“As adults, we have the power to know ourselves, we have the power to evolve and to heal. It's on us.” – Dr. Galit Atlas
“The goal is to get the wheel back and be in charge of the adult versions of ourselves.” – Jen Hatmaker
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Come Closer: Childhood Wounds, Adult Love, and the Secrets of Emotional Intimacy – https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Come-Closer/Galit-Atlas/9781668067147
Emotional Inheritance: A Therapist, Her Patients, and the Legacy of Trauma by Dr. Galit Atlas
D.W. Winnicott on hiding: it is a joy to be hidden, but a disaster not to be found

Guest’s Links:
Website - https://www.galitatlas.com/
Instagram - https://instagram.com/galit_atlas
Substack - https://wildanalysiswithgalitatlas.substack.com/
Connect with Jen!
Jen’s Website - https://jenhatmaker.com/
Jen’s Instagram -

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