For The Love With Jen Hatmaker Podcast

Dinner With Strangers: Jess Janz On The Friends We Haven't Met Yet
We're more connected than ever—and lonelier than we'd like to admit. What if the answer isn't finding the right people, but simply pulling up another chair?
This week, Jen sits down with writer, poet, and community-builder Jess Janz to talk about her new book, The Table Where We Meet, and the social experiment that grew into the phenomenon known as Dinner With Strangers. What began as a gathering around a table with a few curious questions has now welcomed more than a thousand people into conversations that move past small talk and into the territory we all secretly long for: belonging.
Jen and Jess explore why so many of us feel disconnected, what makes a question powerful enough to crack a person open, and how vulnerability creates the conditions for genuine connection. Whether you're craving deeper friendships, navigating loneliness, or wondering how to build a bigger table in your own life, this conversation is a hopeful reminder that meaningful connection is still possible—and closer than you think.
In this episode, you'll hear:
The hidden costs of loneliness and our growing hunger for belonging
Why "What's your favorite movie?" might be the wrong icebreaker—and what to ask instead
What happens when one person chooses vulnerability first
Why community isn't something we stumble into—it's something we create
Quotes:
"There's alchemy in holding a heavy dish for the person beside you, reaching across, filling water glasses. All of that is so disarming. It shouldn't be a roadblock to connection—it should be the bridge." – Jess Janz
"Loneliness and helplessness is something that is weaponized in our lives right now, and so it's radical to be in community together." – Jess Janz
Resources Mentioned:
The Table Where We Meet by Jess Janz
With Strangers
Jen's dinner party for her daughter
Awake: A Memoir by Jen Hatmaker
Dan Mangan
Buy Jess' book
Guest's Links:
Website | Instagram | Facebook | TikTok | Substack
Connect with Jen!
Website | Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | YouTube
The For the Love Podcast is presented by Audacy.

Every summer, Jen heads off on her annual Me Camp, a month dedicated to stepping away from the noise to reconnect with herself. But this year, Me Camp isn't a tradition or a luxury. It's an act of survival.
In the wake of major surgery, while carrying the weight of parenting adult children, navigating family crises, supporting loved ones through illness, and trying to hold together a life once built for two people, Jen found herself physically, emotionally, and mentally depleted. She almost didn't go.
In this deeply personal solo episode, Jen shares what finally convinced her to leave anyway, why asking for help has become one of the hardest and holiest lessons of this season, and what she's learning about the difference between escaping your life and stepping away long enough to return to it whole.
If you're the dependable one, the fixer, the person everyone calls in a crisis, this conversation is a gentle but urgent invitation. Loosen your grip. Let people show up for you. Remember that rest isn't a reward for finishing the work. Sometimes it's the very thing that makes it possible to keep going.
In this episode, Jen explores:
What happens when life outpaces your capacity
Why asking for help feels so uncomfortable, especially for capable people
The hidden cost of believing you're indispensable
How codependency can disguise itself as responsibility
Why retreat can be an act of courage, not avoidance
The simple invitation to "choose the lake chair anyway"
Whether you're recovering from something visible or carrying burdens no one else can see, this episode offers permission to stop white-knuckling your way through life, receive the care that's available to you, and trust that stepping away can be the very thing that helps you step back in with renewed strength.
Thought-Provoking Quotes:
"I have managed and been the troubleshooter, the point person, the heavy lifter, the anchor, the decider of so much in the last few months by myself. And some of it is absolutely consequential. Huge, huge things. And all of it just outpaced me." – Jen Hatmaker
"I think those of us who struggle to ask for help have some brutal combination of pride (the bad kind) and a false sense of self-sufficiency, and this is somehow wrapped up in how people think of us. Do they think of me as needy? Do they think of me as irresponsible?" – Jen Hatmaker
"I'm gonna treat rest like it's sacred, as opposed to the go, go, go adventure energy I normally have." – Jen Hatmaker
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
Sacred Yes: Reclaiming Joy in Midlife Starts Here - https://jenhatmaker.com/podcasts/series-64/sacred-yes-reclaiming-joy-in-midlife-starts-here/
Jen's first cookbook, Feed These People: Slam-Dunk Recipes for Your Crew - https://amzn.to/3R1P0ps
Jen's Substack - https://jenhatmaker.substack.com/
The Awake Collective - https://jenhatmaker.substack.com/p/the-awake-collective
Connect with Jen!
Website - https://jenhatmaker.com/ | Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmaker | Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/ | Facebook -

Description: Three years ago, Katherine May gave us a language for something many of us experience but rarely know how to name: wintering. Those seasons of life when everything slows down. When grief arrives. When burnout catches up with us. When illness, loss, caregiving, parenting challenges, or unexpected change force us to stop and reconsider how we're living. As part of our Sacred Yes: Reclaiming Joy in Midlife series, we're revisiting this unforgettable conversation because Katherine's wisdom feels even more relevant today than it did when it first aired. Together, Jen and Katherine explore what it means to stop treating ourselves like machines and start honoring our humanity. They discuss the value of retreat, the necessity of rest, and why healing cannot be rushed. Katherine challenges the cultural pressure to push through difficult seasons and instead invites us to trust that growth is still happening beneath the surface—even when life appears dormant. Nestled in this conversation is a gentle reminder that joy isn't always found by adding more. Sometimes it emerges when we create space. Space for solitude. Space for beauty. Space to notice what's growing quietly within us. If you've been feeling weary, stretched thin, or ready to step off the hamster wheel for a moment, this episode offers a different path forward—one marked by grace, patience, and the courage to rest before collapse forces it upon us. In this very gentle and generous conversation, you’ll hear:
Why every life includes seasons of "wintering"
The difference between retreat and isolation
How beauty sustains us during difficult seasons
Why sadness isn't something to fix
Practical ways to create restorative space in everyday life
What it means to trust the season you're in Sometimes the most sacred yes isn't a leap forward. It's permission to pause. Thought-provoking Quotes:
"You can trust this space, and you can trust your sadness. It's telling you something. You don't have to run away from it. You can be sad. You can handle being sad. What you can't handle is pretending not to be sad and being sad anyway." — Katherine May
"There is a process of healing, and it's also a process of change. Those things will take a certain amount of time whatever you do. You are not doing anything wrong if you're still suffering a week later, a month later, or six months later." — Katherine May
"If you can lean into that space and accept it rather than fight it, you will spare yourself a lot of pain." — Katherine May
"People who've gone through major winters always seem to look back and say, 'I wouldn't have not gone through it if it meant I couldn't be who I am now.'" — Katherine May
"Look for beauty in that space. Reacquaint yourself with your gut feeling that leads you toward what you find beautiful and awe-inspiring." — Katherine May Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
[Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times](https://katherine-may.co.uk/books/wintering/?utm_source=chatgpt.com) by Katherine May - https://katherine-may.co.uk/books/wintering/
[Enchantment: Awakening Wonder in an Anxious Age](https://katherine-may.co.uk/books/enchantment/?utm_source=chatgpt.com) by Katherine May - https://katherine-may.co.uk/books/enchantment/
[The Sea, The Sea by Iris Murdoch](

Description: As part of our Freedom & Flourishing series this Pride Month, we're revisiting the most downloaded episode in the history of For the Love—a conversation that has continued to ripple through families, friendships, and faith communities for years after it first aired.
Six years ago, Jen sat down with her daughter Sydney to hand her the microphone and invite her to tell her own story in her own words. What followed was a brave, tender, and deeply honest conversation about growing up gay in the church, loving Jesus while feeling afraid and alone, and finding the courage to embrace the fullness of who you are.
Sydney shares what it was like to navigate faith and identity as a young person, the messages she received from churches and Christian leaders, and the real impact those messages have on LGBTQIA+ kids sitting quietly in pews every Sunday. Together, Jen and Sydney discuss what true allyship requires, why affirmation matters, and how we can create homes, communities, and faith spaces where people are cherished exactly as they are.
In this episode:
Sydney shares her journey of growing up gay within a Christian family and faith community
A candid conversation about faith, identity, and belonging
What churches and Christian leaders need to understand about LGBTQIA+ youth
Why allyship requires more than acceptance—it requires action
A call to advocate for and protect transgender people, who often face the greatest vulnerability
How creating safe, welcoming spaces helps all people flourish
Content Note: This episode includes discussion of the mental health challenges, isolation, and discrimination often experienced by LGBTQIA+ youth.
Thought-provoking Quotes:
"I was just scared, and alone. And I wanted to have it all. I wanted to have my family, and God, and my future. And I didn't think I'd be able to have it all." — Sydney Hatmaker
"It doesn't matter how loving you are, or what emphasis on Scripture you come with. That's not enough if you're not fully accepting them as children of God." — Sydney Hatmaker
"The biggest act of allyship you can make is using your voice in places where marginalized people feel less safe." — Sydney Hatmaker
Resources Mentioned in This Episode:
This Is How It Always Is by Laurie Frankel — https://www.lauriefrankel.net/this-is-how-it-always-is.html
Human Rights Campaign LGBTQ+ Youth Research — https://www.thehrcfoundation.org/reports/collections/youth-report-collection
HRC & University of Connecticut LGBTQ+ Youth Study — https://reports.hrc.org/2023-lgbtq-youth-report
Connect with Jen!
Website: https://jenhatmaker.com/
Instagram: https://instagram.com/jenhatmaker
Twitter: https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/
Facebook: https://facebook.com/jenhatmaker
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmaker
The For the Love Podcast is presented by Audacy.