Planning a summer vacation should bring connection—not conflict. But for many couples, time away becomes a pressure cooker for everything they haven’t talked about: the unequal mental load, unspoken expectations, and simmering resentment.
In this episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, clinical psychologist and couples therapist, is joined by her husband Greg to unpack how to prepare your relationship for vacation. Together, they dive into the emotional and logistical stress of the mental load, how to divide responsibilities fairly, and the importance of communicating needs and boundaries before you hit the road.
Plus, they share a powerful DM from a community member—a husband learning how to sit with vulnerability and navigate the discomfort of disappointing his partner. It’s an honest look at what it means to grow in a relationship, and how emotional intimacy is built not in big moments, but in the small, everyday repairs.
Whether you’re planning a family vacation, dealing with in-laws on your summer trip, or trying to reduce resentment in your marriage, this episode gives you practical strategies to feel more connected—not just on vacation, but long after you return home.
RESOURCES:
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: Take it here
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions
Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the 30 Days to Us Challenge
Heal old wounds and build healthy interdependence with my book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” - order here!
LINKS:
Vionic Shoes: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com
Mint Mobile: Just $15 a month with mintmobile.com/TRACY
AirDoctorPro: Save $300 with code TRACY at https://airdoctorpro.com
GoPure Beauty: Save 25% at https://gopurebeauty.com/tracy code TRACY
AquaTru - water filter: Use promo code for TRACY for 20% off at https://aquatru.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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54:00
Why Can’t I Change, Even When I Know What’s Wrong?
In this solo episode, Clinical Psychologist and Relationship Expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish explores a common but painful experience in relationships: knowing what your partner needs, wanting to show up differently, and still defaulting to old, self-protective patterns.
If you’ve ever said, “I love my partner, but I keep shutting down,” or “I know I’m hurting them, but I don’t know how to stop,” this episode is for you.Dr. Tracy shares a relatable story from her own marriage, explains how nervous system responses and attachment styles like avoidant and anxious-avoidant can override our intentions, and helps you understand why awareness isn’t always enough to create change.
In this episode, you’ll learn:- Why you might choose safety over connection in moments that matter- How avoidant and anxious attachment styles influence relationship behavior- What it means to act from a coping mechanism that no longer fits- How to move from autopilot to conscious connection- Five practical steps to begin shifting your patterns today- Why emotional regulation, repair, and self-compassion are key to long-term change
Whether you're in the roommate phase, stuck in emotional disconnection, or trying to be more present in your relationship, this episode offers honest insights and real tools for growth.
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Join my relationship program, Be Connected, and feel more like a team and close again. Learn more here
Podcast Episode: Understanding Your Attachment Style to Help Strengthen Your Relationship. Listen here
Identify the stories you tell yourself in your relationship. Download here
RESOURCES:
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: Take it here
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions
Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the 30 Days to Us Challenge
Heal old wounds and build healthy interdependence with my book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” - order here!
LINKS:
Vionic Shoes: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com
Mint Mobile: Just $15 a month with mintmobile.com/TRACY
AirDoctorPro: Save $300 with code TRACY at https://airdoctorpro.com
GoPure Beauty: Save 25% at https://gopurebeauty.com/tracy code TRACY
AquaTru - water filter: Use promo code for TRACY for 20% off at https://aquatru.com/
ACORNS Early debit card and smart app for kids: acornsearly.com/tracy
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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49:01
Parenting Through Discomfort: Speaking up for our kids
In this solo episode, Dr. Tracy shares a personal story about standing up for her child, navigating hard conversations with other parents, and teaching children how to build trust in friendships. She explores what it means to act on your values, model courage, and help kids make sense of complex social situations.
RESOURCES:
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: Take it here
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions
Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the 30 Days to Us Challenge
Heal old wounds and build healthy interdependence with my book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” - order here!
LINKS:
Vionic Shoes: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com
Mint Mobile: Just $15 a month with mintmobile.com/TRACY
AirDoctorPro: Save $300 with code TRACY at https://airdoctorpro.com
GoPure Beauty: Save 25% at https://gopurebeauty.com/tracy code TRACY
AquaTru - water filter: Use promo code for TRACY for 20% off at https://aquatru.com/
ACORNS Early debit card and smart app for kids: acornsearly.com/tracy
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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28:06
Gaslighting, Manipulation & Mislabeled Pain: Reclaiming Nuance in Relationships with Dr. Morgan Anderson Part 2
What if the words you're using are keeping you stuck?
In part two of this conversation, Dr. Tracy and Dr. Morgan explore how to step out of pathologizing language and into deeper emotional responsibility.
You’ll walk away with practical tools to create healthier dialogue, rebuild safety, and connect more meaningfully with your partner.
Learn more about Dr. Morgan Anderson - https://drmorgancoaching.com/Say hello to her on IG - https://instagram.com/drmorgancoaching
RESOURCES:
Join the next More Than Roommates Challenge! Click here
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: Take it here
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions
Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the 30 Days to Us Challenge
Heal old wounds and build healthy interdependence with my book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” - order here!
LINKS:
AquaTru - water filter: Use promo code for TRACY for 20% off at https://aquatru.com/
Vionic Shoes: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com
Mint Mobile: Just $15 a month with mintmobile.com/TRACY
AirDoctorPro: Save $300 with code TRACY at https://airdoctorpro.com
GoPure Beauty: Save 25% with code TRACY at https://gopurebeauty.com/tracy
Lumen: Save 15% at https://lumen.me/DEARTRACY
ACORNS Early debit card and smart app for kids: acornsearly.com/tracy
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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30:49
Gaslighting, Manipulation & Mislabeled Pain: Reclaiming Nuance in Relationships with Dr. Morgan Anderson Part 1
Is your relationship being hurt by the words you’re using?
In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Dr. Morgan, attachment theory expert and psychologist, unpack how terms like “gaslighting,” “narcissist,” and “manipulation” are often misused—and why that misuse is damaging our relationships. Tune in for an honest, expert-led conversation that challenges oversimplified narratives and brings back the nuance we desperately need.
Learn more about Dr. Morgan Anderson - https://drmorgancoaching.com/Say hello to her on IG - https://instagram.com/drmorgancoaching
RESOURCES:
Join the next More Than Roommates Challenge! Click here
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: Take it here
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions
Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the 30 Days to Us Challenge
Heal old wounds and build healthy interdependence with my book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” - order here!
LINKS:
AquaTru - water filter: Use promo code for TRACY for 20% off at https://aquatru.com/
Vionic Shoes: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com
Mint Mobile: Just $15 a month with mintmobile.com/TRACY
AirDoctorPro: Save $300 with code TRACY at https://airdoctorpro.com
GoPure Beauty: Save 25% at https://gopurebeauty.com/tracy code TRACY
Lumen: Save 15% at https://lumen.me/DEARTRACY
ACORNS Early debit card and smart app for kids: acornsearly.com/tracy
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Welcome to Dear Dr. Tracy, the podcast that helps you navigate the everyday challenges of relationships, marriage, and parenting with expert advice and real, relatable conversations. Hosted by clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, this podcast is your place for honest, no-nonsense guidance on love, intimacy, boundaries, and communication. With over 18 years of experience, Dr. Tracy brings a mix of clinical expertise, evidence-based research, and personal insights as a wife and mother to help you break unhealthy patterns and build stronger connections. Each week, Dr. Tracy answers the questions so many of us have but don’t always know how to ask—about resentment, desire, mental load, and how to truly feel like a team with your partner. She’s joined by fellow experts, real couples, and her husband Greg, who offers a down-to-earth perspective on the struggles so many relationships face. If you’re ready for actionable tools and heartfelt conversations that will help you create a relationship that feels fulfilling, this podcast is for you.
New Zealand