139: Pausing Your Career to Stay at Home (A Resource for Women Who Aren't Tradwives)
In this episode of Struggle Care, host KC Davis speaks with Neha Ruch, founder of Mother Untitled and author of The Power Pause. Together, they explore the reality of modern motherhood, particularly for women who decide—or feel compelled—to pause their careers to care for their children. This conversation addresses the outdated stereotypes of stay-at-home moms and offers empowering, practical insights for navigating this unique chapter with confidence and clarity.
Show Highlights:
Neha’s personal story behind writing The Power Pause
What the “tradwife” movement misses—and who this book is really for
Why "stay-at-home mom" is an outdated and limiting term
How women can redefine productivity, identity, and success during a career pause
The hidden costs of idealized motherhood in media and social platforms
A breakdown of the personal, professional, and family goals women can set while caregiving
Financial planning tips and why couples must prepare for the pause together
The role of privilege, budgeting, and honest conversations with your partner
How to reclaim agency and dignity during motherhood—without losing ambition
Why it’s time to rewrite the narrative of caregiving and career on your own terms
Resources and Links:
📘 The Power Pause by Neha Ruch – Available wherever you get your books
🌐 Mother Untitled Website – Free resources including financial prep, postnups, and return-to-work guidance
📱 Follow Neha on Instagram
Connect with KC Davis:
🌐 Website
📱 TikTok | Instagram | Facebook
📘 How to Keep House While Drowning
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48:41
138: BEST OF: A Hot Fat Guy Takes on Toxic Masculinity with Alex Frankel
Today’s topic is exciting: toxic masculinity, which might be better termed “functional masculinity.” I’m joined by Alex Frankel, who grew up in San Francisco clearly understanding that the definition of hotness was dictated by beautiful people in popular magazines. During his entire childhood, he felt trapped in his fat body and hated how he looked. He finally realized that being hot was more than perfect abs and bulging biceps but more of an attitude. Alex is now a successful plus-size model, and he’s a body-acceptance advocate and role model for fat guys all around the world. He created the Hot Fat Guy Club to dispel the myths around diet, culture, fatphobia, and other fat people stereotypes. His goal was to create a welcoming community where people are celebrated and not shamed for their body types. Why do I love this topic? It’s because men are not often talked about in the body positivity movement. Join us for a new perspective from a Hot Fat Guy!
Show Highlights:
● An overview of Dr. Ronald Levant’s Seven Tenets of Traditional Masculine Ideology
● Where the problem of masculinity originates because of deeply entrenched patriarchy, traditional masculine values, programming, and gender policing
● Fascinating trends in how young boys and girls segregate themselves until puberty hits
● Why Alex believes a lack of empathy and respect for other human beings are core issues with today’s masculinity
● How we are taught the power differential by society around relationships and rejection
● How programmed traditional masculinity can be dormant until it flares up later in life
● The link between church and religious propaganda and traditional masculinity
● Why men have been programmed by traditional masculinity around vulnerability and feeling shame in showing emotions
● Three things to note around weaponized vulnerability, emotional safety, and caring feelings
● An example about the inability to express or understand emotions
Resources and Links:
Connect with Alex Frankel and the Hot Fat Guy Club: TikTok and Instagram
Mentioned in this episode: Therapy Chat podcast and The Tough Standard: The Hard Truths About Masculinity and Violence by Ronald F. Levant and Shana Pryor
Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.
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55:58
137: BEST OF: The Sex Ed You Should Have Gotten with Rachel Coler Mulholland
Today, we are covering an important topic today, but maybe not in the way you expect. I’m joined by Rachel Mulholland (aka Shug CM), a therapist whom I met on TikTok because of her incredible content around sex education for children. Today’s focus is on how our lives as adults are impacted if we don’t get comprehensive sex education as children. Join us for the conversation!
Show Highlights:
How KC’s story from her teenage years illustrates the gaps that most people have in their education about sex and the fact that sex ed is NOT a one-time conversation
How “purity culture” is impacting teenagers in certain places in the US in damaging ways
How even most comprehensive sex ed doesn’t address the pleasurable side of sex–and (for females) that the pleasure doesn’t have to come from another person
How sexual predators take advantage of the lack of information in sex ed from SAFE places
Why parents have real fear about talking to their kids about sex ed
The effects of NOT educating kids that sex and pleasure don’t always go together
Rachel’s Four Pillars of Safe Sex: confirmation, communication, lubrication, and enthusiastic participation
Why parents should be aware when their kids are ready to hear and learn–and begin at the most basic level appropriate for their age
How to answer those first little-kid questions around, “Where do babies come from?”
Why curiosity is a foundational part of body talk for kids–not just around sexuality
How parents can work through their own feelings around sex ed with their children
Why Rachel’s next project is a book about body talk
Resources:
Connect with Rachel: TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and Website (coming soon!)
Recommended by Rachel: How Do You Make A Baby by Anna Fiske
Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
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43:44
136: BEST OF: Eco-Shame with Rebecca Gray
You have probably heard me say, “You can’t save the rainforest if you are depressed.” The truth is that eco-shame and eco-perfectionism can get in the way of our taking steps toward better functioning. If you have ever felt guilty for not being “eco-friendly enough,” this episode is for you!
Rebecca Gray is an environmental epidemiologist. With her master’s degree in public health, she studies disease, the patterns of disease, and health at population levels within communities and countries. She also studies how factors in the environment impact health by causing and promoting disease. Rebecca works with government agencies like the EPA and CDC to develop water guidelines to keep pollutants out of the water supply.
Show Highlights:
How Rebecca has experienced forms of eco-shame in her profession
How some people push the environmental movement in ways that are able-ist
The trap we fall into to “embody the archetype” of the space we occupy
How social media plays into the eco-perfectionism pressure we feel
Why functionality matters more than the morality of what we do in care tasks, eating, the environment, etc.
Rebecca’s view of today’s environmental movement
Why we should ask ourselves how an eco-behavior affects our health and well being
What really does need to happen to prevent climate change
How our capitalistic society colors what we can do to be eco-friendly
How differing narratives make us feel pressured to make individual changes and collective changes to “save the world”
How to identify what we need to function well, fill in gaps with eco-friendly behaviors, and learn how to conserve our energy
How to take a more reasonable–and less stressful–view of sustainability swaps
Actions that have the least impact and the most impact on environmentalism
Rebecca’s advice about letting ourselves off the hook for the decisions we make
Links & Resources:
Connect with Rebecca: LinkedIn
Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram
Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning
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45:51
135: BEST OF: Is Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria Real? with Dr. Lesley Cook
I’m back with one of my favorite guests who is always up for the challenge of a podcast–no matter what the topic is! I want to explore the term rejection sensitivity dysphoria and get Dr. Lesley Cook’s take on it because I have so many questions. Let’s learn more together!
Dr. Lesley Cook is a psychologist who works with those with ADHD and other kinds of neurodivergence. Born and raised in Hawaii, she now lives in Virginia and works with children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families.
Show Highlights:
● What RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria) is and how it is manifested
● KC’s personal experience with RSD and feelings of worthlessness
● How RSD is different from sensory sensitivity and autism
● Thoughts about the strong word dysphoria in RSD
● KC’s personal experience with RSD and being told she is “too sensitive”
● How we can grow, change, and find regulatory strategies for RSD
● Why it is difficult to communicate the facets and nuances of RSD and other interpersonal difficulties
Resources and Links:
Connect with Dr. Lesley Cook: TikTok
Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
A podcast about self-care by a host that hates the term self-care. Therapist KC Davis, author of the book How to Keep House While Drowning talks about mental health, care tasks, and more.