Stuck Not Broken

Most people believe change is possible. The harder question is whether you believe it’s possible for you. This episode makes the case that the belief you can’t change isn’t a fact but a story that reflects the state you’re in, and shows you the proof already in front of you: other people have changed, you’ve changed before, and you’re changing now. You’ll also hear the difference between thinking you can change and actually feeling it.
👉 New here?
Find your stuck state, and your starting place: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/stuck
Or go straight to what's best for you:
👉Start free in the community: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/join?invitation_token=25c72b8c15987838a4a6bcc54b1bd652d520420c-d23357d7-4381-4003-be61-c1f4f0bb538d
📘 Prefer to read, or want to support the show?: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/books
🎧Practice on your own, free, no account, no card: https://app.stucknotbroken.com/?start=practice&src=podcast
👥Prefer company? Move through it alongside others in the Unstucking Academy. $39/month, cancel anytime: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/unstuckingacademy
😊 About the Host: Justin Sunseri is a therapist and coach committed to helping you live with calm, confidence, and connection without psychobabble or woo-woo. Justin is the author of the Stuck Not Broken book series, a member of the Polyvagal Institute's Editorial Board, a father of two, and a husband.
✅ Crisis resources:
National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 988
National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233
LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386
National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673
Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741
Call 911 for an emergency

This and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy. Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship. Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms. Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.
Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).
Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)

Stuck and broken are two very different problems, and which one you believe you are changes everything about what comes next. This is the title chapter. You’ll hear why every one of us is running on the same biological hardware no matter how different our lives look, what it means to call your trauma a stuck state rather than a defect, and why the stuck point you’re in right now is the hopeful part. You’ll also hear why the next one, after this, isn’t failure. It’s just what growth looks like.
👉 New here?
Find your stuck state, and your starting place: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/stuck
Or go straight to what's best for you:
👉Start free in the community: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/join?invitation_token=25c72b8c15987838a4a6bcc54b1bd652d520420c-d23357d7-4381-4003-be61-c1f4f0bb538d
📘 Prefer to read, or want to support the show?: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/books
🎧Practice on your own, free, no account, no card: https://app.stucknotbroken.com/?start=practice&src=podcast
👥Prefer company? Move through it alongside others in the Unstucking Academy. $39/month, cancel anytime: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/unstuckingacademy
😊 About the Host: Justin Sunseri is a therapist and coach committed to helping you live with calm, confidence, and connection without psychobabble or woo-woo. Justin is the author of the Stuck Not Broken book series, a member of the Polyvagal Institute's Editorial Board, a father of two, and a husband.
✅ Crisis resources:
National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 988
National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233
LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386
National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673
Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741
Call 911 for an emergency

This and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy. Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship. Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms. Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.
Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).
Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)

You already know what Bill does. This episode is about what's underneath it: the stories he tells himself, the things he keeps quiet, and the beliefs he never chose. You'll learn what a cognitive adaptation is, how the same mental habit sounds completely different depending on the state you're in, why humans isolate and keep secrets when animals don't, and how the beliefs handed to you can block the very pulls that would bring you toward safety. It ends with one question for you: how do you keep yourself stuck?
A note before you listen: from about 5:42 to 9:52, this episode talks in general terms about abuse, perpetrators, and victim-blaming.
👉 New here?
Find your stuck state, and your starting place: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/stuck
Or go straight to what's best for you:
👉Start free in the community: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/join?invitation_token=25c72b8c15987838a4a6bcc54b1bd652d520420c-d23357d7-4381-4003-be61-c1f4f0bb538d
📘 Prefer to read, or want to support the show?: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/books
🎧Practice on your own, free, no account, no card: https://app.stucknotbroken.com/?start=practice&src=podcast
👥Prefer company? Move through it alongside others in the Unstucking Academy. $39/month, cancel anytime: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/unstuckingacademy
😊 About the Host: Justin Sunseri is a therapist and coach committed to helping you live with calm, confidence, and connection without psychobabble or woo-woo. Justin is the author of the Stuck Not Broken book series, a member of the Polyvagal Institute's Editorial Board, a father of two, and a husband.
✅ Crisis resources:
National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 988
National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233
LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386
National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673
Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741
Call 911 for an emergency

This and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy. Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship. Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms. Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.
Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).
Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)

Wild animals live with danger every day and don't get traumatized. So why do you stay stuck? In this episode, you'll meet Bill, a father, husband, and business owner who can't see what's driving him. You'll also learn the two ways we keep ourselves stuck without noticing: we ignore the body's self-regulation impulses, and we reach for behaviors that let us avoid feeling what's actually there. Part 2 picks up the stories we tell ourselves.
Chapters
0:00 Why Wild Animals Don't Stay Traumatized
0:41 Meet Justin & About This Audiobook
1:43 Last Time: Co-Regulation
2:02 Why Humans Stay Stuck in Trauma
4:10 Meet Bill
5:52 Bill, All Grown Up
8:25 Ignoring Self-Regulation Impulses
10:25 The Impulses Bill Ignores
12:26 Behavioral Adaptations Keep You Stuck
14:42 Bill's Behavioral Adaptation: Overworking
15:15 Next Time: The Stories We Tell Ourselves
👉 New here?
Find your stuck state, and your starting place: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/stuck
Or go straight to what's best for you:
👉Start free in the community: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/join?invitation_token=25c72b8c15987838a4a6bcc54b1bd652d520420c-d23357d7-4381-4003-be61-c1f4f0bb538d
📘 Prefer to read, or want to support the show?: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/books
🎧Practice on your own, free, no account, no card: https://app.stucknotbroken.com/?start=practice&src=podcast
👥Prefer company? Move through it alongside others in the Unstucking Academy. $39/month, cancel anytime: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/unstuckingacademy
😊 About the Host: Justin Sunseri is a therapist and coach committed to helping you live with calm, confidence, and connection without psychobabble or woo-woo. Justin is the author of the Stuck Not Broken book series, a member of the Polyvagal Institute's Editorial Board, a father of two, and a husband.
✅ Crisis resources:
National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 988
National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233
LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386
National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673
Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741
Call 911 for an emergency

This and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy. Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship. Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms. Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.
Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).
Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)

Your nervous system doesn't just calm down on its own — more often than you realize, it borrows the calm from somebody else. This episode covers co-regulation: the specific cues your body sends and reads without you ever thinking about it, eye contact, tone of voice, the tilt of a head, what it means if you don't have a self-regulated person in every part of your life, and what actually happened, biologically, in the room with Maria before her hands ever moved.
👉 New here?
Find your stuck state, and your starting place: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/stuck
Or go straight to what's best for you:
👉Start free in the community: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/join?invitation_token=25c72b8c15987838a4a6bcc54b1bd652d520420c-d23357d7-4381-4003-be61-c1f4f0bb538d
📘 Prefer to read, or want to support the show?: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/books
🎧Practice on your own, free, no account, no card: https://app.stucknotbroken.com/?start=practice&src=podcast
👥Prefer company? Move through it alongside others in the Unstucking Academy. $39/month, cancel anytime: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/unstuckingacademy
😊 About the Host: Justin Sunseri is a therapist and coach committed to helping you live with calm, confidence, and connection without psychobabble or woo-woo. Justin is the author of the Stuck Not Broken book series, a member of the Polyvagal Institute's Editorial Board, a father of two, and a husband.
✅ Crisis resources:
National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 988
National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233
LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386
National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673
Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741
Call 911 for an emergency

This and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy. Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship. Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms. Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.
Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).
Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)