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The Imperfects

Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
The Imperfects
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  • Dr Emily - The Meaning of Mid-Life
    Mid-life crises have a bad rap. 💌 subscribe to our newsletter, my imperfect email, here - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Joined by our resident psychologist Dr Emily Musgrove, this emisode is for everyone, but especially for those who’s back goes out more than them, and who are trying to fill the void with purpose (or a ponytail, or a sports car). Technically, you’re in your mid-life from about the ages of 35-70. Which would be quite bleak, if we didn’t have Dr Emily in the studio to reframe this period of our lives with hope, meaning and purpose. Tuning into what our soul is yearning for, Dr Emily discusses how we can intentionally look at generating legacy, combat narratives which suggest “we should have it all worked out”, and maybe even turn our intelligence into a …. um, butterfly. And then we hear from Josh, who’s right in the thick of it. Cue tears. Cue hugs. Cue sending Josh all of the love in the entire world. Dr Em, you’ve hit the nail on the head with this one. To watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://youtu.be/r6tdU-r5k4o 🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode Elizabeth Day - The Me-est Version of Me - http://bit.ly/3HTMKMi Lauren Zonfrillo - Grief: The Shittest Greatest Gift - http://bit.ly/4fYJonW Dr Emily - Compassion of The Self - http://bit.ly/45BW9kU 📖Things to read Unstuck, by Dr Emily Musgrove - http://bit.ly/4mAhUaA Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Your Life, by James Hollis - http://bit.ly/41oMED0 From Strength to Strength, by Arthur C Brooks - http://bit.ly/4lFObvD 💻Things to check out Erik Erikson’s psychosocial theory of development - http://bit.ly/4oV1knq Jungian Therapy - http://bit.ly/3JyslNh Chip Connolly - Modern Elder Academy - http://bit.ly/4fZUN70 Kristen Neff - Online Self Compassion Practice - http://bit.ly/4mUIs68 Chris Germer - Mindful Self-Compassion - http://bit.ly/3Vj5d82 Paul Gilbert - Developing Self-Compassion - http://bit.ly/4fYN74U Regina Gurlach - Self-Compassion - http://bit.ly/3HO1Xi2 U-Shaped Curve of Happiness - http://bit.ly/4p0m5hQ Ron Siegel - The Disillusion of Living - http://bit.ly/4fYO11i 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase the Vulnerabilitea House Cards here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://bit.ly/4mq5BO5 The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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  • Hannah Ferguson - Outspoken But Not Broken
    Not shut down by the fear of humiliation, Hannah Ferguson believes her biggest failure would be to never try in the first place. 💌 subscribe to our newsletter, my imperfect email, here - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy In saying that, everything Hannah tries (and touches), inevitably turns to gold (media company, podcast, author, you get the point). In this episode of The Vulnerabilitea House, Hannah answers the question, “what have you learnt about love from the way you were cared for as a child?” Recounting the moment she was asked to be responsible for the lives of her siblings, Hannah is incredibly vulnerable and honest in reflecting on the status of her relationship with her parents now, and goes deep with Ryan about the importance of intention. In the spirit of her word of the year being ‘soft’, Hannah and Josh unpack why she has felt undesirable and undatable, and what makes her current partner feel like forev- a very long time (this could age poorly, but hopefully won’t). Hannah, our BFLT. If you’d like to watch this full video on YouTube, click here - http://bit.ly/3JLOd7S 🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Origin of the Pink Dildo Story (Tim Minchin - Lucky To Be Here) - https://apple.co/492kgsN Dr Emily - That Guilty Feeling - http://bit.ly/47BcFmn 🎧Things to listen to Big Small Talk - http://bit.ly/41fHklq Brene Brown on Oprah - http://bit.ly/3Jqeit6 📺Things to watch Hannah’s National Press Club Address - http://bit.ly/4oPN7s8 Tony Abbott Freeze video - http://bit.ly/3HIW85m Tony Abbott Onion video - http://bit.ly/3UFCvy3 📖Things to read Bite Back, by Hannah Ferguson - http://bit.ly/4lyOxEf Taboo, by Hannah Ferguson - http://bit.ly/4mQrC8D 💻Things to check out Cheek Media Co. - http://bit.ly/4oM4zO6 🚨If you, or someone you know, has experienced or is at risk of domestic violence, call the 24 hour national counselling service 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732). In an emergency, or if you’re feeling unsafe, call 000. 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase the Vulnerabilitea House Cards here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://bit.ly/4mq5BO5 The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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  • Dyson Heppell - Whatever It Takes… To Forgive
    Inside what might be the biggest scandal in Australian sporting history, Dyson Heppell, at 23 years old, found himself at the centre with a choice to make. 💌 subscribe to our newsletter, my imperfect email, here - http://bit.ly/4lMOdTj A leader from the beginning of his career, Dyson was living his childhood dream playing AFL for the Essendon Bombers when everything turned upside down. In this episode, Dyson chats to Hugh, Ryan, and Josh about his relationship with trust, his teammates and the public in the aftermath of the scandal. Reframing, and rebuilding, Dyson shares how he was able to find joy, empathy and positivity in footy, and life, again. Hugh discusses with Dyson how he chased control through limiting calories, which resulted in a period of disordered eating and finally, the guys talk about Dyson’s relationship with Harrison, and the starting of Haych the Label. To watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: http://bit.ly/41EIbw1 🎧Things to listen to Dyson Heppell I Dyl & Friends - http://bit.ly/4mKhZZ7 🧢Things to check out Haych The Label - http://bit.ly/47xSohB The Resilience Project Journal - http://bit.ly/3UZtXSH 🦋If this conversation has raised some uncomfortable feelings for you around eating and food, the Butterfly Foundation 1800 33 4673 is a great place to visit - https://butterfly.org.au 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase the Vulnerabilitea House Cards here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP 🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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  • Andy Cooks - Andy Doesn't Drink (Anymore)
    Hey Babe, what’s for (vulnerabili)tea? 💌 subscribe to our newsletter, my imperfect email, here - http://bit.ly/4lMOdTj Andy Hearnden, better known for his online moniker Andy Cooks, is a professional chef and home cook extraordinaire, with more YouTube and TikTok followers than the population of a small country. Joining us in the Vulnerabilitea House, Andy answers the question, “what’s been your biggest failure and how was it good or bad for you?” Imitating the behaviour of others around him, alcohol became a normal part of Andy’s daily routine, and eventually, his identity. Andy opens up to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about the non-linear nature of his sobriety journey, and the incredible support of his partner Katelyn (Babe). As a garnish, Andy chats to Ry about breaking the cycle of poor people management, and learning how to become a leader. Andy, you can cook (or chat) with us anytime. To watch this full episode on YouTube, click here - https://youtu.be/Pq8iKXWIfGA 🫖 Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Ben Shewry (Pt 1) - The Other Side of Excellence - https://apple.co/4hhc2RB Ben Shewry (Pt 2) - How The Chef Was Made - https://apple.co/48hrQiQ Ben Shewry - Making It Right (And Delicious) - https://bit.ly/4jPHq9F 📖 Things to read The Cookbook, by Andy Cooks - https://bit.ly/3UIB161 💻Things to check out Andy Cooks - YouTube - https://bit.ly/4okLSRk 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase the Vulnerabilitea House Cards here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP 🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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  • Dr Emily - We're Longing for Belonging
    Do you ever wonder whether you belong? 💌 subscribe to our newsletter, my imperfect email, here - http://bit.ly/4lMOdTj According to Dr Emily Musgrove, our resident psychologist, belonging is an evolutionary need, literally built into our DNA. And in our current loneliness epidemic, the feeling of belonging uncertainty can impact our sense of safety, identity and even physical health. This week, Dr Em goes into the intolerable state of uncertainty, and the self-fulfilling prophecy we may induce when trying to protect ourselves. Unfortunately, for all of us introverts, creating connection involves risk. Thorough in her research as always, Dr Em explains the benefits to seeking perspective and crafting situations to help others feel like they belong. AND with a guest star appearance from Producer Bridge, we unpack what it looks and feels like to get it wrong, and how you can work to get it right. Dr Em, this is our favourite time of the month. To watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/r1qTUZwBLDw 🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Rana Hussain - Belonging For Connection - http://bit.ly/4odhGY8 Fern Brady - Autistic in a Non-Autistic World - http://bit.ly/4l8Y4lt Grace Tame - “Sexy-time, Scissoring, Autism” - http://bit.ly/4mbPvaq Glenn Robbins - Listening to the Voice in Your Head - https://bit.ly/40HM8zK Billy Slater - Leading from the (Full) Back - https://bit.ly/45qvmrr 📖Things to read A question of belonging: race, social fit, and achievement by Geoffrey Cohen and Gregory Walton - https://bit.ly/4mbPMds A Brief Social-Belonging Intervention Improves Academic and Health Outcomes of Minority Students by Geoffrey Cohen and Gregory Walton - https://bit.ly/3UCcS0Y Breaking the cycle of mistrust: wise interventions to provide critical feedback across the racial divide by Geoffrey Cohen, David Yeager & others - https://bit.ly/4odZKgc Pygmalion in the Classroom by Robert Rosenthal & Lenore Jacobson - http://bit.ly/4fa2Tte BELONGING: The Feeling That We “Belong” May Depend in Part on “Affirmations” by Mary Rowe - http://bit.ly/4l8fPBo Unstuck by Dr Emily Musgrove - http://bit.ly/3J8tieV 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase the Vulnerabilitea House Cards here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP 🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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About The Imperfects

We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.
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