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The Imperfects

Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
The Imperfects
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  • Jess Hill - A 'love' of Control
    Domestic violence is an epidemic in Australia, and Jess Hill has dedicated a good chunk of time trying to understand why. 💌 Subscribe to our newsletter, the Vulnerabilitea-mail - www.theimperfects.com.au Joining us in the Academy of Imperfection, Jess explains to Hugh, Ryan and Josh the unrelenting system of entrapment that many women find themselves in, including a detailed look at the history of coercive control, and the term ‘perspecticide’. Describing the importance of early intervention for young boys, and answering the question ‘Why don’t they just leave?’, Jess discusses with Josh the difference between guilt and shame, and the fundamental impact of these emotions. This episode is compulsory listening for everyone (obviously, it’s Jess Hill talking about one of the most significant issues in our country), but especially those who, in their quietest, most vulnerable moment, recognise themselves as a perpetrator and want to take the next steps to changing the cycle of trauma. Jess, we cannot thank you enough. If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPAi24DyWRc 🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Tarang Chawla - Men Talking About Men’s Violence - https://bit.ly/45p2aBN Chanel Contos - Consensual Healing - https://bit.ly/3SSvrND An Imperfect Chat About Men - https://bit.ly/4n4ce9o Another Imperfect Chat About Men - https://bit.ly/4jUHQf7 🎧Things to listen to The Trap - Why Do They Do It? - https://bit.ly/3G0H9D1 📺 Things to watch See What You Made Me Do - https://bit.ly/3STaUbW Matt Brown TedTalk - https://bit.ly/4jP1RUc 📖 Things to read See What You Made Me Do by Jess Hill - https://bit.ly/3HG8gno The Reckoning by Jess Hill - https://bit.ly/3FQyZNy Losing It by Jess Hill - https://bit.ly/4ni3YD8 She Is Not Your Rehab by Matt Brown with Sarah Brown - https://bit.ly/45In6Uz Rape in Marriage by Diana E.H Russell - https://bit.ly/4n3q0Jr Home Truths by Jess Hill - https://bit.ly/402SfOC The Brain That Changes Itself by Norman Doidge - https://bit.ly/4eejITp Shame and Pride by Donald Nathanson - https://bit.ly/4lsrc7V Three Planet Model by Marianne Hester - https://bit.ly/4e4sG5t 💻Things to check out Yiliyapinya - https://yiliyapinya.org.au/about/ Inner Boy - She Is Not Your Rehab - Free 30 Day Program - https://bit.ly/4jPOdQA 🚨If you, or someone you know, is exhibiting behaviour that may be concerning or problematic, call MensLine on 1300 78 99 78, or No To Violence on 1300 766 491. 🚨If you feel like you are in immediate danger please call 000. If you need someone to talk to we recommend the nation24-hour national sexual assault, family and domestic violence counselling line 1800 RESPECT on 1800 732 732. 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase the Vulnerabilitea House Cards here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP 🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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  • Vincent Fantauzzo - A Brush With Pain
    Art saved Vincent Fantauzzo’s life. 💌 Subscribe to our newsletter, the Vulnerabilitea-mail - www.theimperfects.com.au In this episode, Vincent paints the picture of his childhood in Broadmeadows, a childhood marked with violence and abuse, and how undiagnosed dyslexia deeply affected Vincent’s ability to read and write, as well as his memory. Now known worldwide for his award winning portraits of Asher Keddie (his now wife), Julia Gillard and Heath Ledger, Vincent chats to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about the incredible father figures, role models and friends that he has connected with throughout his life, and the impact they have had on his sense of self. Vincent, this was a dream come true. To watch this video on YouTube (a picture paints a thousand words after all), follow this link - 🫖 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwH3A-jSd3U Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Billy Slater - Leading from the (Full)Back - https://bit.ly/45ZZfQ6 🎨Things to check out Vincent’s Gallery - https://bit.ly/4n4CyAr ‘Heath’ Portrait - https://bit.ly/3Tp8amG ‘Love Face’ Portrait - https://bit.ly/4lcE4yQ ‘All that’s good in me’ (self-portrait as son Luca) - https://bit.ly/4kJF8u1 📖Things to read Unveiled by Vincent Fantauzzo - https://bit.ly/4e3PsKO 🚨If you, or someone you know, is struggling with thoughts surrounding suicide, suicidal ideation or self-harm, please call 000 or Life Life on 13 11 14. 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase the Vulnerabilitea House Cards here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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  • Dr Emily - That Guilty Feeling
    How often do you feel guilty? Guiding us on a guilt trip today is our resident psychologist (and published author) Dr Emily Musgrove. 💌 Subscribe to our newsletter, the Vulnerabilitea-mail - www.theimperfects.com.au Differentiating guilt from shame or regret, Dr Emily takes us back to the very beginning to explain the purpose and function of guilt as a pro-social behaviour which your cave-person ancestor probably would have used to keep them in the tribe. When used wisely, guilt is a useful recognition of information that can alert us when we have gone against our values or dropped our moral standards. However, as Dr Em explains (and people pleasers would know all too well) guilt can quickly becoming overwhelming, exhausting and make you feel like you’re always letting someone down. In this episode, Dr Em dives into the seemingly never-ending guilt of being a parent, especially a mum, as well as the guilt associated with caring for ageing parents. Dr Em, you’ve done it again. To watch this full episode on YouTube, click here - https://youtu.be/wLLJdF1edVE 🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Dr Emily - What Are Your Values? - https://apple.co/4dckMpy Dr Emily - What Are Your Boundaries? - https://bit.ly/409jO91 Dr Emily - Truth v Harmony - https://apple.co/40pgYO7 Dr Emily - Who Is Your Inner Critic - https://apple.co/3XaFdw9 Ben Shewry - Making It Right (And Delicious) - https://bit.ly/4jPHq9F Ben Shewry (Pt 1) - The Other Side of Excellence - https://apple.co/4hhc2RB Ben Shewry (Pt 2) - How The Chef Was Made - https://apple.co/48hrQiQ 📖Things to read Unstuck by Dr Emily Musgrove - https://bit.ly/4bhmCp2 The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins - https://bit.ly/3SUcvhv Good Inside by Dr Becky Kennedy - https://bit.ly/443BPXE Choice Points by Russ Harris and Colleagues - https://bit.ly/4jUZjnw 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase the Vulnerabilitea House Cards here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP 🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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  • Cate Campbell - Even Olympians Have Depression
    💌 Subscribe to our newsletter, the Vulnerabilitea-mail - www.theimperfects.com.au - this week, featuring a reflection from none other than Cate Campbell. By the time she was 16, Cate Campbell had figured out her social currency: achievement, in the form of gold medals, no less. Four time Olympian and world record holder Cate joins us in the Vulnerabilitea House to answer the question ‘How and when have you been dishonest with yourself?’ From telling herself she was ‘fine’ to having a breakdown over a Milo, Cate recounts the intense period of loneliness she experienced during Covid, and the depression she ‘didn’t deserve’ to feel. This episode emphasises the critical importance of connection for our mental health, and Cate so beautifully articulates the impact of finding love at first sight (friend addition), and navigating a changing relationship with her sister Bronte. Coming of age in a world where perfection is praised and your failure makes headlines, Cate is so generous in sharing how she had learn to ask for help and to value her mental health like she would her physical. Cate, you are simply the best. To watch this full video on YouTube, follow this link: http://bit.ly/40ecuJc 🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Bronte Campbell - Comparison, The Thief of Joy - https://bit.ly/44h52iW 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase the Vulnerabilitea House Cards here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP 🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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  • Campbell "Struthless" Walker - Withdrawing with Drawing
    Do you think of yourself as a creative person? How does being creative make you feel? 💌 Subscribe to our newsletter, the Vulnerabilitea-mail - www.theimperfects.com.au Today we welcome into the Academy of Imperfection (reluctant) expert Campbell Walker, better known by his online moniker, Struthless. Drawing on his hypothesis that creativity is the antithesis of destruction, Struthless discusses how to train yourself in creativity, the 70% rule in completing a creative pursuit, and, thankfully for Hugh, how to recognise and celebrate your creative brain in everyday tasks. Struthless opens up about the moment he realised drugs had stopped becoming fun, going deeper into his struggles with addiction and how he reframed one of his most shameful moment by asking “how could this be the best thing that has ever happened to me”? Ryan and Struthless chat about the mental health benefits, and absolute joy, of journalling (just ask anyone who’s bought My Imperfect Life), and how to make sure that the pain doesn’t win. Figuratively, illustratively and literally, we loved hanging out with you, Struthless. If you would like to watch this full episode on YouTube, click here - http://bit.ly/3TrGI7I 🫖 Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Adam Grant - The Potential of Your Potential - https://bit.ly/4ksJXYL How (And Why) Ryan Dumped His iPhone - https://bit.ly/41RY15O 📖 Things to read Doom and Bloom, by Campbell Walker - https://bit.ly/3HnCQSv Your Head Is A Houseboat, by Campbell Walker - https://bit.ly/3SxJUOW The Medium is the Message, by Marshall McLuhan - https://bit.ly/3T7tUmP 📺 Things to watch Boss Baby - https://bit.ly/4438FJe Pingu - https://bit.ly/43V1EsW 🚨If you, or someone you know, is struggling with addiction, the National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline 1800 250 015, is a great place to start. 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase the Vulnerabilitea House Cards here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP 🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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About The Imperfects

We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.
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