PodcastsEducationThe Imperfects

The Imperfects

Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg
The Imperfects
Latest episode

273 episodes

  • The Imperfects

    Ben Crowe - Play School

    15/03/2026 | 1h 22 mins.
    When Ben Crowe, world-renowned professional mentor and leadership coach, tells us his favourite mantra, we listen.
    “I am enough no matter what, but I’m not done yet”.
    📺 If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/-0WWUuxvcyQ
    Back in The Academy of Imperfection FOR THE THIRD TIME, Ben is here to talk to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about purpose, play and love.
    As Ben explains, ‘play’ and ‘love’ mean something different to everyone, however, they are both ridiculously important and explicitly linked. If love is the intention, then play is the action.
    Ben, as always, it was an absolute pleasure to your wisdom bestowed upon us.
    💌Join 6,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy
    0:00 – Is Ben the Pope?
    11:13 – Acceptance vs compassion, confidence vs belief
    15:14 – Reshaping your belief system
    25:05 – Just Admit It List
    30:42 – The dreaded E word
    37:47 – Reward effort, not outcome
    46:00 – Play deprivation
    51:47 – Talking to teenagers about their career
    1:01:47 – How to be a (anxious) leader
    1:07:04 – Josh’s too generous assumption
    1:10: 14 – Doing it for the right reasons
    🎧Other episodes of The Imperfects mentioned in this episode
    The Academy of Imperfection - Ben Crowe - https://bit.ly/40rkUgd
    Ben Crowe (Pt 1) - Meet Your Inner Fan - https://bit.ly/46VlfeK
    Ben Crowe (Pt 2) - Now BE Your Inner Fan - https://bit.ly/413kVXL
    Kate Reid (Pt 1) - The Impossibility of Perfection - https://bit.ly/4ruVAkz
    Kate Reid (Pt 2) - The Life-Saving Croissant - https://bit.ly/4by6NMl
    Dr Emily - Acceptance, That’s Radical - https://bit.ly/4bAomLD
    📖 Things to read
    Where The Light Gets In, by Ben Crowe - https://bit.ly/4s04xmN
    The Courage To Be Disliked, by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga - https://bit.ly/411Qbq4
    🎧 Things to listen to
    How Ben Crowe Dads - https://bit.ly/4bidPDH
    😃If you liked this episode, check out these!
    Bronnie Ware - What Are Your Future Regrets? - https://bit.ly/40lcG9p
    Emma Murray - How Mindfulness Actually Works - https://bit.ly/4lpS5dR
    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz
    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW
    🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu
    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects
    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
  • The Imperfects

    Matt Preston - Only 14 Summers Left

    08/03/2026 | 1h 26 mins.
    According to Matt Preston, he only has 14 more summers. And he’s determined to make the most of them.
    💌Join 5,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy
    Known predominantly for his role on the inaugural (and incredibly successful) seasons of MasterChef Australia, alongside his excellent choice of cravats, Matt Preston is a recognisable face in most Australian households.
    Joining Hugh, Ryan and Josh in the studio (in yet another incredible outfit), Matt delicately talks through the importance of having a conversation with your parents about end-of-life care.
    In a decision that requires both deep emotion and administrative focus, Matt draws from his experience with his grandmother, and then his mother, about how to ensure the people you love are nurtured, cared for, and celebrated in the way they would have wanted.
    Matt, thank you so much for joining us.
    0:00 – The typo to end all typos
    9:13 – Every family has a scandal
    24:34 – The unknowables of epilepsy
    30:45 – Grieving what could have been
    40:44 – Mission of mortality: make it count
    44:47 – Parenting not like your parents
    53:40 – Conversations about end-of-life care
    1:07:35 – The secret ingredient to marriage
    1:13:46 – Logistics of death and dying
    If you want to watch the full episode (and see Matt’s outfit), follow this link - https://youtu.be/sEN8Mfapi6Y
    🫖Other episodes of The Imperfects mentioned in this episode
    Kate Reid (Pt 1) - The Impossibility of Perfection - https://bit.ly/476XBfg
    Kate Reid (Pt 2) - The Life-Saving Croissant - https://bit.ly/4aM7bqd
    Christie Whelan Browne - Unbreakable - https://bit.ly/4ukPhTk
    📺Things to watch
    The Hospital - In The Deep End - https://bit.ly/4rYN6mw
    Croquenbouche Masterchef Episode - https://bit.ly/3OILYVG
    📖Things to read
    Big Mouth, by Matt Preston - https://bit.ly/4cUigXG
    🩵SUDEP Support Services
    SUDEP Action - https://sudep.org
    Epilepsy Foundation - https://bit.ly/4r9W27I
    *The average life expectancy for Australian males is calculated at birth, and does not take into account their personal circumstances.
    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
  • The Imperfects

    Dr Emily - Acceptance, That's Radical

    01/03/2026 | 1h 16 mins.
    Pain is inevitable, but suffering does not have to be.
    💌Join 5,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy
    Dr Emily Musgrove, our resident psychologist and general provider of wisdom, is here to talk about radical acceptance.
    Drawing inspiration from our holy grail episode with Gina Chick, Dr Em deep dives radical acceptance; what is it, how do we cultivate it, and why is it important to us as human beings?
    According to Dr Em, radical acceptance is not about liking or accepting (insert profanity here) situations or circumstances, or denying an experience, but rather, accepting the pain inside of us to avoid the reaction of suffering.
    Instead of feeling better, it’s about finding a better way of feeling.
    For Hugh, the concept of radical acceptance really hits close to home, and he reflects on how it has changed his life insurmountably.
    Dr Emily, we love ya, and we missed ya.
    If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link -
    0:00 – Getting the Gina Chick zoomies
    6:23 – The Radical Acceptance origin story
    14:20 – Change how you relate
    21:19 – On a global scale
    27:25 – An Unwanted Guest
    34:42 – The third option
    40:38 – Grieving the loss of what you wanted
    45:28 – Living proof ft. Hugh
    53:18 – Anxious about my anxiety
    1:03:26 – Main character moment
    1:10:17 – Putting it in practice
    🫖Other episodes of The Imperfects mentioned on this episode
    Gina Chick - Don’t Fight Life - https://bit.ly/4b9nAVG
    📖 Things to read
    Unstuck, by Dr Emily Musgrove - https://bit.ly/4o8JFay
    The Happiness Trap, by Russ Harris - https://bit.ly/4kRn3Lq
    The Guest House, by Rumi - https://bit.ly/4kXhaMS
    💻Things to check out
    Tara Brach - RAIN meditation - https://bit.ly/3MNou0M
    Alfred Adler - Three Sided Column - https://bit.ly/3P1gSbJ
    Jill Bolte Taylor - 90 second shelf life of emotions - https://bit.ly/4aV5rtL
    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz
    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW
    🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu
    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects
    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
  • The Imperfects

    Maggie Dent - ‘Good Enough’ Parenting is Good Enough

    22/02/2026 | 1h 26 mins.
    You just have to be a good parent 30-40% of the time. According to the research, and parenting expert Maggie Dent.
    💌Join 5,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy
    In our Academy of Imperfection, Maggie schools parents Hugh and Josh, and trusted non-parental figure Ryan, about the ‘no matter what’ rule, the importance of micro connections and the beauty of a well-timed fart.
    An advocate for imperfect parenting (which is REALLY great for brand alignment), Maggie insists on the significance of unconditional love when raising boys.
    Maggie you are wonderful. This was wonderful. You’re the best.
    Watch the full episode on YouTube - https://youtu.be/iUHYScQ3WgQ
    0:00 – Why boys are better than girls
    6:22 – The science of boys
    14:02 – Shedding the shame
    22:28 – Growing healthy boys
    31:09 – Connecting with your rooster
    42:56 – The S words: screens and social media
    47:00 – The good enough factors
    57:45 – Correcting the narrative
    1:06:05 – Importance of Lightness + Letting go of mistakes
    1:11:41 – Raising an autistic boy
    1:16:05 – How do you resist the easy method

    🫖Other episodes of The Imperfects mentioned on this episode
    Hugh’s ADHD…brief - https://bit.ly/4aofEjd
    📖 Things to read
    You can find all of Maggie’s books here - https://bit.ly/46g4GK7
    Help Me Help My Teen by Maggie Dent (page 106 to converse with teens) - https://bit.ly/4aYi2NO
    Maggie’s Fragile Boy Friendship Blog Post - https://bit.ly/4qUqzGw
    📺 Things to watch
    Bluey ‘Octopus’ episode - https://bit.ly/4riF2Ng
    Marc-Andre Leclerc - The Alpinist - https://bit.ly/4tEsaCR
    💻 Things to check out
    Allan Schore’s Brain Development for Boys research - https://bit.ly/3OfRyi9
    🎧 Things to listen to
    The Good Enough Dad with Maggie Dent - https://bit.ly/4aGq2la
    Parental As Anything - https://bit.ly/4qHAleM
    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, (with the new cards!) purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz
    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW
    🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu
    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects
    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
  • The Imperfects

    Bron Lewis - Is It Me or Postnatal Anxiety?

    15/02/2026 | 1h 41 mins.
    What do you do when your 3 day-old-baby just doesn’t wake up?
    💌Join 5,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy
    Motherhood is really hard. And Bron Lewis isn’t afraid to talk about it (anymore).
    Joining us in the Vulnerabilitea House, Bron answers the question ‘when was a time you genuinely needed help and were you able to ask for it?’, and recounts the worst week of her life.
    Deals with the devil, post-natal anxiety, and post-natal depression, Bron is incredibly vulnerable with Hugh and Ryan, sharing how the love from friends, professional help, and medication allowed her to return to herself.
    Bron, it was a delight.
    To watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/qc9ZNO6VpeY
    0:00 – We’re all best friends / fathers / daughters
    8:51 – When was a time you genuinely needed help?
    18:44 – Long nights, relentless days
    25:42 – Socially accepted punishment
    33:36 – Using pain to drown out the noise
    40:50 – Obviously, I can do it all
    45:44 – It doesn’t have to be this hard
    54:55 – On day 3, he didn’t wake up
    1:07:27 – The worst week of her life
    1:22:54 – This should feel good, shouldn’t it?
    1:33:01 – The aftermath
    🚨If you, or someone you know, is struggling with postpartum depression or anxiety, these are a few great resources
    PANDA - 1300 726 306
    ForWhen - 1300 24 23 22
    Beyond Blue - 1300 22 4636
    📖 Things to read
    I’m Not Mad (Anymore) by Bron Lewis - https://bit.ly/3ObBgGQ
    🎟️ Things to go see
    Bron’s Comedy Show, Chaos - https://bit.ly/4aabRWz
    🎧Things to listen to
    Chains by Tina Arena - https://bit.ly/4arb1DI
    Work Hates podcast - https://bit.ly/4arbdCW
    Your Two Drunk Aunties podcast - https://bit.ly/4cnJndj
    Good Sheilas podcast - https://bit.ly/4rkGxun
    🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, (with the new cards!) purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz
    🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW
    🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu
    🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects
    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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About The Imperfects

We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.
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