There can be a particular kind of melancholy that settles in when you catch your reflection in the mirror of your life and realize it looks different from the blueprint you once carried so confidently. The slow-dawning awareness that somewhere between your twenties and now, the GPS of your dreams got quietly recalibrated.In the latest episode of What Matters Most, Antonia Prebble and clinical psychologist Jacqui excavate this millennial anxiety: the gnawing sense that everyone else received a roadmap you somehow missed. Prebble admits to wrestling with the subtle ache of realizing that life has panned out differently than she once dreamed.Jacqui draws a razor-sharp distinction between aspirations and expectations. Aspirations are living documents, hopes that breathe and evolve with us. Expectations are fixed contracts we inherited from parents, absorbed from culture, crystallized from dreams we've outgrown. Our expectations are often someone else's entirely.The conversation dives into the weaponization of the word "settling." In our optimization-obsessed culture, settling has become synonymous with surrender. Jacqui suggests we're simply evolving. The life that looks like compromise is actually the one that fits.The episode's most potent insight: Recognizing that dreams change because we change is the key to moving forward. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Vol XXIV: Navigating Change: Why It's So Hard and How to Move Forward
Change is the one thing we count on in life and yet it gets easier. Whether it's a career shift, a new relationship, a move, or just a subtle shift in priorities, change has a way of throwing us off balance.In this episode of What Matters Most, Antonia and Jacqui take on the complex topic of navigating life transitions, big and small. Our brains treat change as a threat, even when it's something positive or long-awaited. Jacqui dives into the neuroscience behind why our minds crave stability, how rapid changes overwhelm us, and why our ancestors had to deal with the pace of change we face today.They explore why some people thrive on novelty while others struggle to adapt, and how personality traits and attachment styles play a huge role in how we cope.Jacqui offers insight into why emotional regulation is crucial when life throws us a curveball and why sometimes, just getting up and taking a shower is the best first step. The episode focuses on practical strategies like practicing cognitive flexibility and reframing our mindset. One key tip: shift from "bouncing back" to "bouncing forward," focusing on how you grow from the experience rather than trying to get back to how things were.It's about being adaptable. Learning to handle change is like building a muscle: it takes conscious effort, but the results are worth it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Vol XXIII: Why Setting Boundaries Feels So Hard (And How to Do It Anyway)
In this episode of What Matters Most, Antonia and Jacqui tackle one of psychology's most misunderstood concepts: boundaries. Despite becoming a pop psychology buzzword, the reality of setting healthy boundaries is far more nuanced than social media makes it seem.The hosts explore why boundary-setting feels so intimidating, particularly when online discourse oversimplifies their true purpose. As Antonia observes, "The problem with how boundaries are often discussed online is that they sound like ultimatums. That's not how relationships actually work." Jacqui builds on this insight, explaining that boundaries are fundamentally about your own behavior: what you're willing to do or accept, rather than controlling others.Together, they discuss practical strategies for recognizing when a boundary is needed, how to communicate it effectively, and why consistency matters even when others push back. At their core, boundaries protect your emotional space while respecting others' autonomy. They're about creating clarity, not building walls.This episode offers a thoughtful, real-world perspective on honoring your needs while preserving your relationships. As Jacqui emphasizes, boundaries aren't about cutting people off. They're about being clear with yourself first, then communicating those limits with grace and intention. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Vol XXII: How to Be a Good Friend
In the hierarchy of modern relationships, friendship occupies a peculiar position: essential to our wellbeing, central to our happiness, yet always relegated to the emotional back burner when life gets serious. Romance gets the red carpet but friendship gets the leftover energy.The episode looks at the particular challenges of millennial friendship maintenance, the juggling act of careers, partnerships, children, and the basic maintenance of adult existence. Balancing connection with the demands of daily life feels overwhelming, and friendships slip through the cracks.Jacqui takes us back to basics: friendship is about presence. Small, consistent actions make all the difference. The voice note trumps the dinner party. The quick check-in beats the elaborate gesture. Consistency is the currency that matters. They tackle the friendship emotions everyone talks about: the guilt of being available enough, the little pang of jealousy when a friend's life looks more polished than yours, and why being a good friend means showing up as you are. The episode's most potent revelation: being a good friend means resisting the urge to fix, to solve, to optimize. The most profound gift you offer is being willing to sit in someone else's mess while trying to clean it up.In a world obsessed with romantic partnerships, this is a love letter to our friends. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Vol XXI: Control - Why We Seek it..And How To Let Go
Originally inspired by Mel Robbins ‘Let Them Theory’ in this episode of What Matters Most, Antonia and Jacqui dive into the psychology of control; why we crave it, where it comes from, and how it can impact our lives and relationships. Together, they unpack the evolutionary roots of our need to control, the difference between agency and unhealthy control, and why sometimes letting go feels so hard. Jacqui shares insights from psychological research on the brain’s response to uncertainty and how control can be both a survival mechanism and a way to mask deeper fears. They also discuss the impact on those who feel controlled and how to break cycles of control with practical, evidence-based strategies.Whether you’re someone who thrives on structure or finds yourself caught in a cycle of micromanaging, this episode offers a nuanced look at why control can feel both comforting and confining. Antonia brings her usual candor and curiosity, while Jacqui offers thoughtful, research-backed insights into how we can start loosening our grip…without losing ourselves in the process. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
What Matters Most shines the light on the therapy we need in our everyday lives. Drawing from the minds of two friends, Jacqui Maguire a clinical psychologist and Antonia Prebble, an actress and presenter, we create a space for exploring everyday issues that make up the moral and cultural climate of our era. Each week Antonia will bring the topic, Jacqui will bring the therapist lens, and together they will get curious. It’s as simple as that!Conversations between two friends that support, provide practical tools, are light hearted at times, joyful, soulful and offer that little bit of ‘friendship mixed with therapy’ on the days that you might need it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
New Zealand