130 episodes
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The scorekeeping spreadsheet in your head never shows a balanced ledger. On this Men’s Therapy Podcast roundtable, host Marc Azoulay asks why resentment so often arrives in relationships where both partners are convinced they’re the one doing more. He is joined by three therapists. Melissa Ryan, a returning guest, is a couples counsellor in Lakewood, Colorado, who works with couples on trail-based and outdoor sessions. Sylvan Herb Summers is a Boulder therapist and Men’s Therapy Online coach whose work is somatic and attachment-based. Riley Zweig has a private practice in Broomfield, Colorado, focused on perfectionism, “not enough” beliefs, and relationship OCD.
The panel treats scorekeeping as data rather than a character flaw, and asks what unspoken expectations sit underneath it. They look at the columns on the spreadsheet: sex as a currency for approval or desire, provider pressure, and the covert contracts behind nice guy syndrome. They question whether 50/50 is a real standard, and Melissa traces the “wanter versus wanted” scripts we inherit from culture. They also cover why a sacrifice mindset curdles while a generosity mindset builds trust, and why the Gottmans’ “emotional bank account” makes an 80/20 season survivable. Practical tools include Eve Rodsky’s Fair Play cards and a step-by-step worksheet for sorting out who carries the mental load. The conversation closes on a few self-checks: “Would I want to date me?”, the one-up/one-down trap of shame and blame, and the question “What don’t I understand about this fight we’ve had a hundred times?”
Connect with PanelMelissa Ryan:Substack: https://counselormelissa.substack.com/ Silvan Summers:Website: naturalmovementpsychotherapy.com Riley Zwaig:Website: blackbeartherapy.com Resources MentionedIndividual Therapy:https://menstherapy.online/?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=Service&utm_campaign=Individual_TherapyMen’s grouphttps://menstherapy.online/mens-groups/?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=Service&utm_campaign=Mens_GroupsMTO Slackhttps://menstherapy.online/slack/?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=Slack_CTA&utm_campaign=MTO_SlackWebsite:https://menstherapy.online/ - Visit: menstherapy.online/start
Sameera Sullivan, a matchmaker, joins Marc Azoulay to unpack why dating feels so hard for men right now. Learn what it takes to find and keep a real relationship. Drawing on her experience vetting and coaching clients, Sameera explains how app fatigue, endless options, and approach anxiety leave many good men stuck. They discuss how attachment styles, love languages, and personality types shape compatibility, why some men keep choosing the wrong partner, and how divorced men can re-enter dating with confidence. The conversation also covers handling conflict once the honeymoon phase fades, the “70–80% compatible” rule, texting and first-date etiquette, reading social cues, and why giving a connection a few dates can change everything.
Connect with Sameera:
Website: https://sameerasullivan.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sameera_sullivan
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sameera-sullivan-20773820
Individual Therapy:
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Men’s group
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Website:
https://menstherapy.online/ - Visit: menstherapy.online/start
Dr. Jessica Gold joins Marc Azoulay to explore the surprising connection between chemistry and romantic relationships. Drawing on her background in organic chemistry, systems theory, and relationship science, Jessica explains why relationships are dynamic systems. She highlights why simply “trying harder” often doesn’t create meaningful change. They discuss high-leverage relationship shifts, learning your partner’s “operating manual,” effective repair after conflict, moving beyond right-versus-wrong thinking, and understanding the emotional patterns beneath disagreements. The conversation also explores appreciation, desire, intimacy, and how couples can create healthier feedback loops that strengthen their connection.
Connect with Jessica:Bliss Science: https://www.bliss-science.com/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-jessica-gold Resources MentionedIndividual Therapy:https://menstherapy.online/?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=Service&utm_campaign=Individual_TherapyMen’s grouphttps://menstherapy.online/mens-groups/?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=Service&utm_campaign=Mens_GroupsMTO Slackhttps://menstherapy.online/slack/?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=Slack_CTA&utm_campaign=MTO_SlackWebsite:https://menstherapy.online/ - Visit: menstherapy.online/start
The midlife crisis has a stock image problem: sports car, affair, motorcycle, a man trying to be twenty-two again. On this Men's Therapy Podcast roundtable, host Marc Azoulay brings together three voices who work with men at exactly this turning point. Brooks, a therapist and retreat leader based in Central Iowa with a telehealth practice in Colorado; Desmond Cohen, a counsellor and longtime Man Kind Project facilitator based in Oregon; and Mark Platten, who has spent over two decades in men's work, now focused specifically on midlife, andropause, and the men whose partners are moving through perimenopause.
The conversation moves well past the cliché, tracing the midlife crisis back to an older idea: a reckoning with the ladder you've spent your whole life climbing, and whether you ever leaned against the right wall. The panel debates whether this is a modern phenomenon or a timeless one (Brooks points to Dante and The Odyssey), why the timeline seems to be shifting a decade later than it used to, and why roughly two-thirds of midlife divorces in the U.S. are initiated by women rather than men. From there, it gets personal: Robert Bly's image of the shame men shove into an invisible bag starting in childhood; a real case study of a marriage rebuilt after a hidden affair came to light; and the pattern of "being right" as a childhood survival strategy that quietly wrecks adult relationships. The episode closes on spirituality and altered states, ayahuasca, psilocybin, vision quests, and why Joseph Campbell wouldn't take a student under 40.
Connect with PanelBrooks Witter:Website: https://vidapsychotherapy.com/ Desmond Cohen:Website: https://desmondcohencounseling.com/ Mark J. Platten:Website: http://markjplatten.com/ Resources MentionedIndividual Therapyhttps://menstherapy.online/?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=Service&utm_campaign=Individual_TherapyMen’s grouphttps://menstherapy.online/mens-groups/?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=Service&utm_campaign=Mens_GroupsMTO Slackhttps://menstherapy.online/slack/?utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=Slack_CTA&utm_campaign=MTO_SlackWebsite:https://menstherapy.online/ - Visit: menstherapy.online/start
What happens when the habits men use to cope with life start creating problems of their own? From relying on marijuana every night to struggling to say no, feeling emotionally numb, or carrying grief through the holidays, many men learn to manage difficult emotions by pushing them aside rather than dealing with what is underneath.
In this episode of the Men's Therapy Podcast, Marc Azoulay answers four listener questions covering marijuana dependence, nice guy syndrome, emotional numbness, and grief. The conversation explores how daily marijuana use can become something a person depends on to relax, why withdrawal can make stopping difficult, and how substances can sometimes act as a “smokescreen” over the deeper issues preventing someone from feeling comfortable in their own life.
The episode also examines the problem of constantly saying yes to other people. Being dependable can be a valuable quality, but trying to be everything for everyone can eventually lead to resentment and burnout. Learning to establish boundaries requires practice and may initially feel uncomfortable.
Another listener asks why he feels almost nothing during experiences that would normally produce strong emotions, such as death and grief. The discussion explores how men can become conditioned to suppress emotional experiences and why creating safe environments can make it easier to reconnect with feelings.
Finally, the episode looks at grief around the holidays and the importance of creating new family traditions while continuing to honour the person who has died.
Ultimately, the episode emphasizes a common theme: removing an unhealthy coping mechanism is only part of the process. The deeper work involves understanding what is underneath, creating new experiences, and building a life that does not require constant avoidance.
For more podcasts, blogs, and to get involved in the Men's Therapy Online Community, visit www.menstherapy.online.
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About Men’s Therapy Podcast
This is the ultimate podcast for men. The most pressing topics relating to men, covered in one podcast by Marc Azoulay, a psychotherapist with over a decade of experience. Using Neuroscience, Jungian Psychology, and Buddhist Philosophy, we explore, Men’s Mental Health Modern Masculinity, Authentic Leadership, and Shadow Work.Welcome to “Men’s Therapy Podcast” where we tackle essential questions like “How can I be a good man?” “What do leaders need to succeed?” “How do we break childhood wounding and generational trauma?” We also cover addiction recovery, mindfulness, coparenting strategies, spiritual development and more! Whether you’re seeking to understand emotional intelligence for leaders, improve executive functioning, or incorporate mindfulness into daily life, this podcast is for you.Join us as we uncover how childhood conditioning impacts our actions and discover pathways to self-improvement and personal development.Tune in to the Men’s Therapy Podcast and start your journey towards becoming a better father, leader, husband, and man today!
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