Only Human

• Five Month War

  Leaving behind everything he'd ever known to help people struggling in his community wasn't something Abubakar (Abs) expected to do in his early twenties. But when war broke out in his hometown he had no other choice."It was a mixed emotion," says Abubakar Basman of the decision to join a rescue team when his hometown - Marawi City, in the Philippines - was attacked by members of a terrorist group associated with ISIS, in what became known as The Battle of Marawi. When the siege broke out in May 2017, Basman had just returned from the United States where he was selected as part of a youth leadership programme to learn about building community resilience in the event of a disaster. Yet, he could never have anticipated that one would strike in his hometown.Only 21-years-old, he was the youngest member to join the volunteer team and says the snap decision came as a calling. "This is my purpose," he says with a smile. But arriving in Marawi City was confronting and frightening. His hometown was unrecognizable."There were terrorists with heavy caliber guns and grenades," says Basman who witnessed families with young children and babies fleeing from their homes. Basman has had experiences that will remain with him forever. None of the volunteers had any disaster aid training before joining the rescue team, who the media later tagged, The White Helmets of Marawi. The volunteers were running on instinct and learning on the job. Tears well up in his eyes as he recalls his first retrieval mission."I discovered the smell of a dead body...a dead human," says Basman of a stench that permeates hair and clothing well after leaving the scene where he helped to collect remains of men who had been shot by the terrorist group. "There's no flesh, but it still stinks like rotten meat." It's been three years since the siege took place in Marawi City, a place that will never be the same again. Just as Basman's life has also changed and today, he's committed to a path of helping those in his community. Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

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  25:18
• An Invisible Battle

  A young woman uncovers a dark family secret, while facing an invisible battle with depression and the fight to come out the other end.Warning: this story contains discussion around depression, anxiety and self-harm and may not be suitable for all listeners. In a series of photographs, Suzie Harris' bare arms are painted gold; the undersides revealing raised thatched lines. And on closer inspection, it is hard to distinguish where one line ends, and another one begins. These images are brave and confronting. Harris invites the viewer to take a deep dive into her emotional world. One that she tried for so long to suppress.On this week's episode of RNZ podcast Only Human, Suzie Harris shares the challenges of going through the mental health system, coping with mental distress and self harm and what it means to come out the other side.In her early thirties, Harris lights up a room. She has an openness and vulnerability that is easy to warm to and when you meet her, you know you've met a very special person.But for the budding artist, coming to grips with who she is has come with a great deal of pain, and a process of both acceptance and letting go, when her feelings and thoughts overwhelm her. "This is how self-harm would look if I met it on the street," says Harris who points out a mangled and twisted form on the wall of a small Wellington art gallery.Harris held her first ever art exhibition in 2019. The work traced her journey of self-discovery, exploring what it means to live through depression and recover from complex post-traumatic stress disorder, a diagnosis she was given in her twenties after a series of attempts to take her life.Harris grew up in the UK and moved to New Zealand as a teenager. She has always been sensitive to her surroundings and during her childhood her parents moved from one place to another with their daughter and Harris' other siblings in tow. But Harris struggled to adapt.Changing schools on a regular basis didn't help. She struggling with the constant cycle of making friends and leaving them behind. This was later compounded by bullying so traumatic that any child would be inclined to withdraw. In one instance she had acid poured onto her, and another, where her hair was set alight.In attempts to suppress the feelings of humiliation, fear and pain, Harris became trapped in a vicious cycle of self-harm that she kept hidden, with her family unaware of what she was experiencing. But today, things are looking brighter for Harris who is on a mission to help others.Where to get help:Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor…Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

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  21:53
• Influencer Nation

  Today, social media has bridged the gap between distance and human connections, but at what cost? We meet a photographer-turned-influencer whose every waking moment comes with mounting pressure and anxiety driven by pressure from brands and the number of likes on her instagram feed.In 'Canopy of Dreams,' by photographer Jenny Gao, two men walk beneath rows of lush, hanging ferns as coloured flecks of light bounce off their clear umbrellas. This photograph is dreamlike and tells a story. And it is this kind of work that Gao has become known for.Gao created the image for an ad campaign for Rotorua Tourism, and posted it to her instagram account Otherworld.ly. As soon as she did, she had a feeling it would become a viral hit. She was right. In this episode of Only Human, photographer-turned-influencer, Jenny Gao, tells why sharing her art on instagram led to a world she never dreamed possible. Social media has enabled people to share their stories, voice their opinions and broaden their network base, while also making genuine connections that wouldn't be possible otherwise. And for artists, instagram is the platform of choice to share and promote creative work...but at what cost? "User experience designers of social media platforms don't even use it themselves because they've designed it in a way that is intentionally there to keep you on for as long as possible," says photographer and now documentary maker, Jenny Gao. Gao knows all about the reality of dealing with the pressures of social media. While working as a User experience designer overseas, the design graduate began honing her photography skills. That's when she started sharing her work on her Otherworld.ly instagram account in 2015, having started her first account in 2012 when the platform was a fun place to share photos and adventures with friends and the influencer market was yet to be invented.But a year after carefully curating her Otherworld.ly account, brands started approaching her, offering exciting deadline-driven, fast-turn-around creative projects that kept her on her toes. Gao says it was an environment she thrived in. At 26, projects came flooding in and people were recognising Gao for her talent. Making a living off her art was a dream come true and led her to opportunities she couldn't have imagined otherwise."I said yes, to a lot of brands that resonated with me and I just loved that quick iterative process the influencer marketing allowed me to do," says Gao, whose portfolio includes working with big brands like ASB and Air NZ. …Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

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  23:14
• Gangsta Dreaming

  A young Rangi Pou was on the cusp of adolescence when his father said it was time he become a man and fend for himself. For Pou, that meant growing up on the streets, getting involved in the world of drugs, gang life and eventually prison. The question is, how does he find his way out and what does it take to get there?Warning: This story contains graphic descriptions involving drugs, violence and suicide and may not be suitable for all listeners. Rangi Pou was on the cusp of adolescence when his father told him it was time to become a man. For Pou, that meant being forced onto the streets and being left to fend for himself."I wanted to be the leader of the Mongrel Mob," says Pou of his childhood aspirations. As a kid, Pou watched his older brothers become involved in gang life and drugs. Back then he didn't fully understand what was going on. But life on the streets and stealing to survive, he eventually found himself immersed in drug and gang culture - something he had always looked up to.But the reality was tougher than he expected - the streets were rough. Pou slept in sheds and amongst rubbish. At times he was surrounded by older guys smoking meth. And when he could, he made money stealing from people's freezers and selling the frozen food to desperate single mothers in the neighbourhood.Pou has seen a lot, and there are things he can't bring himself to talk about. At the age of 17, he found himself behind bars. Today, he jokes that if there had been KFC and women in prison, it would have been perfect, But the life he's had isn't something he would wish for anyone else - it's been one of hardship, obstacles, and loss.But Pou managed to turn his life around. These days he is the pastor of his church in Napier, he's a family man, and a motivational speaker who is intent on giving back to his community to change the lives of others.The question is, how does he find his way out and what does it take to get there?Where to get helpNeed to talk? Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor.Lifeline - 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP).Youthline - 0800 376 633, free text 234, email [email protected] or online chat.Samaritans - 0800 726 666.Lifeline - 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP)Suicide Crisis Helpline - 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)Healthline - 0800 611 116Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

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  23:03
• A New Skin - From Anthony to Antonia

  In this episode of Only Human we meet Antonia, formerly Anthony John Pearce. As a young man, Anthony was a handsome singer-songwriter who had no shortage of female attention. Except one day everything changed."I've dyed my white hair. At home I don't have to wear a wig," says Antonia Pearce from a cafe in Auckland's bustling suburb of Ponsonby.In this episode of Only Human we meet Antonia, formerly Anthony John Pearce.Antonia Joanna Pearce has the kind of legs that many women would envy and while she towers above most women, she isn't afraid to don a pair of heels.Now in her early seventies, Pearce loves to shop. She has a wardrobe bursting at the seams and a collection of around 16 wigs - one to suit every outfit and mood. You could say, she's a girl's girl. And when she gets together with her friends, she chats and giggles about guys.But things haven't always been so rosy for Pearce. It was almost a decade ago that she made the transition away from her former life as Anthony John Pearce.As a young man, 'Anthony' was a handsome singer-songwriter who had no shortage of female attention. He was married and has children. He played guitar, he was a boat builder...he did the kinds of things that would make him just one of the guys.Except one day everything changed. Pearce was in her fifties when she went through a kind of male menopause, otherwise known as Andropause - a change in male hormones. It was devastating and came as a complete shock - one that was physically and mentally overwhelming. "Men don't talk about it," she says as she flicks through a file of old black and white family photographs, including one of her as a school boy.When the hormone changes started happening, 'Anthony' experienced a dramatic loss of libido, which eventually led to more feminine tendencies."It's quite traumatic," says Pearce who wrote a play called Testostrogen, based around these experiences."I was not a macho man ever...I was always a heterosexual male."Eventually the physical changes led to a decision to transition from male to female, which has altered family relationships. She has also become accustomed to sideways glances from passersby, but the biggest surprise and one she never anticipated, was being attracted to men."I know people look at me and say, 'you're a man dressed as a woman,' even though I don't look too bad," says Pearce.Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details

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  19:02

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