The Kevin Miller Podcast

My guest today is an addiction expert, but I interest myself more in the concept of compulsions. I may have something I habitually do that is not necessarily harming anyone else, and is arguably not harming me in a direct sense, which is generally how we define addictions. But a compulsion may be something that I keep doing that may keep me from other, healthier activities. It may own me more than I own it. And more importantly, what we find is that addiction and compulsions are generally not being done for pleasure, but to mask or numb emotions we haven’t or don’t want to deal with. Adi Jaffe is a psychologist and author. His research and clinical frameworks challenge the one-size-fits-all, abstinence-only model of addiction recovery and replaces it with an individualized, evidence-based approach to lasting behavior change. Adi’s authority is earned on both sides of the problem. Before his doctorate and the published research, Adi spent years inside his own methamphetamine addiction — an arc that ran through dealing, arrest, and jail before it ran through UCLA. That combination of lived experience and formal science is the foundation from which our discussion comes from. He has a new book, Unhooked: Free Yourself from Addiction Forever. I invite you to listen to this episode and consider your compulsions, if not addictions, and what you may be trying to artificially address, and why. You can also find Adi on Instagram @dradijaffe

Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin

Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is another story of drive from when my book, What Drives You, came out. Kara Goldin was the youngest of five children and at the age of eight realized her parents had dreams they never pursued. She decided then, she would pursue hers. She went on to have a classic entrepreneurial story. She wanted to be drinking more water, but wanted some flavor with it. She didn’t want it carbonated or sweetened though, and with nothing available that fit the bill, she started experimenting and making her own brand of flavored water right out of her kitchen. People really liked it, she found a store to carry it, and today…you can find Hint Water at stores like Walmart, Target, Costco, and Sam's Club. Of course the story isn’t that simple and Kara faced plenty of obstacles and criticism along the way. So she wrote a book about it, which is how I found her. The book is called, Undaunted: Overcoming Doubts and Doubters. You can also find her on her podcast, The Kara Goldin Show.

Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin

Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I read an article yesterday about the fourth season of the tv series, Ted Lasso, coming out. The series was celebrated for bringing the concept of positivity to the forefront. But in this new season they feel positivity isn’t what the culture needs. They depict the populace this way: "People are fine. Not hopeful, not despairing — just fine." So the new season is focused on hope. And I agree. We seem to be losing hope in anything more than just…existing. So when a celebrated author comes out with a book about his research on what “thriving” looks like, I was interested. Daniel Coyle is the New York Times bestselling author known for The Culture Code, The Talent Code, The Secret Race, The Little Book of Talent, and Hardball: A Season in the Projects, which was made into a movie starring Keanu Reeves. But after writing about talent and performance, Dan cites he began wondering about the deeper parts of life. The result is his new book, Flourish: The Art of Building Meaning, Joy, and Fulfillment. And he boils down to…community. Interdependence, which I don’t think many of us understand. I’m not going to try and explain it here, but invite you to listen to the following 55 minutes of discussing a different kind of community experience than I bet you’ve ever fully conceptualized. I feel I got schooled, in a great way, by the message in Dan’s book, and the following conversation. I have myself looking at relationships and community in a new way, and I’m inspiring myself. I think you will too.

Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin

Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I have always interested myself in people who make significant life shifts. And not to minimize traumas and tragedies and difficult circumstances, but I intrigue myself with people who made big shifts that didn’t have to. But for various reasons they stepped back to audit their lives, and decided to be, and from that do, something different. This story comes from a conversation back when my book, What Drives You, came out. Shawn Askinosie is my guest. Shawn's dad died at 14 and he felt his world was destroyed. He committed to accomplishing big achievements and prove to God he didn't need him. He ultimately pursued law school and withstood 11 law school rejections, before going on to a 20 year career in law. But he never overcame his dad's sickness and death. This led him to volunteering for palliative care at a hospital and starting a five year journey to a completely different vocation. Shawn said, “It’s a funny paradox, but the first step in sorting myself out was actually not to think about myself, and instead to focus on other people.” He went from this to founding a chocolate company - Askinosie Chocolate. How did that happen? Well, that’s the episode. Shawn has a book called, Meaningful Work - A Quest To Do Great Business, Find Your Calling, and Feed Your Soul. And check out his chocolate, some of my favorite that my Dad used to send to me, at askinosie.com

Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin

Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’ll continue to preface anything regarding AI, or any tech for that matter, that I’m not convinced it will prove to be a net positive for overall human well being. As a tool however, I see some opportunities. Such as, I was sent a device that hangs around my neck like a pendant, that will record my voice when I talk. It feeds into an app where I have set an “intention” that I desire for myself, such as, “I want to be more patient” or in my case, “I want to communicate with taking full ownership of my perspective.” The app then keeps me accountable, to myself. It deeply audits my speech and along with telling me how I did regarding my goal, also helps me understand when interrupted or talked over others. When I started talking fast or used filler words. We communicate all day long and are generally on auto pilot and don’t recall all we said or what others said to us, and further and I think more importantly, how we said what we said, which often belies more about us than what…we said. I’m not getting paid to promote this product, because that is not the point. The point is sharing an idea about being more aware of ourselves, and accountable to now what we do, but what we be. Not what we do, but how we are being. My guest is Lyle Maxson who is the founder and CEO of ABOVE, an AI wearable company focused on emotional intelligence and self-awareness. Lyle has spent the last decade working across AI, immersive technology, mental health, and consciousness systems—building what he calls "benevolent technology," designed to help people feel more connected and human, not less. Again, I don’t make a dime if you go to https://goabove.ai/ and sign up. In this discussion I go deep into how we are missing ourselves, and how we can better show up, for ourselves and others.

Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin

Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices