The Kevin Miller Podcast

I have always interested myself in people who make significant life shifts. And not to minimize traumas and tragedies and difficult circumstances, but I intrigue myself with people who made big shifts that didn’t have to. But for various reasons they stepped back to audit their lives, and decided to be, and from that do, something different. This story comes from a conversation back when my book, What Drives You, came out. Shawn Askinosie is my guest. Shawn's dad died at 14 and he felt his world was destroyed. He committed to accomplishing big achievements and prove to God he didn't need him. He ultimately pursued law school and withstood 11 law school rejections, before going on to a 20 year career in law. But he never overcame his dad's sickness and death. This led him to volunteering for palliative care at a hospital and starting a five year journey to a completely different vocation. Shawn said, “It’s a funny paradox, but the first step in sorting myself out was actually not to think about myself, and instead to focus on other people.” He went from this to founding a chocolate company - Askinosie Chocolate. How did that happen? Well, that’s the episode. Shawn has a book called, Meaningful Work - A Quest To Do Great Business, Find Your Calling, and Feed Your Soul. And check out his chocolate, some of my favorite that my Dad used to send to me, at askinosie.com

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I’ll continue to preface anything regarding AI, or any tech for that matter, that I’m not convinced it will prove to be a net positive for overall human well being. As a tool however, I see some opportunities. Such as, I was sent a device that hangs around my neck like a pendant, that will record my voice when I talk. It feeds into an app where I have set an “intention” that I desire for myself, such as, “I want to be more patient” or in my case, “I want to communicate with taking full ownership of my perspective.” The app then keeps me accountable, to myself. It deeply audits my speech and along with telling me how I did regarding my goal, also helps me understand when interrupted or talked over others. When I started talking fast or used filler words. We communicate all day long and are generally on auto pilot and don’t recall all we said or what others said to us, and further and I think more importantly, how we said what we said, which often belies more about us than what…we said. I’m not getting paid to promote this product, because that is not the point. The point is sharing an idea about being more aware of ourselves, and accountable to now what we do, but what we be. Not what we do, but how we are being. My guest is Lyle Maxson who is the founder and CEO of ABOVE, an AI wearable company focused on emotional intelligence and self-awareness. Lyle has spent the last decade working across AI, immersive technology, mental health, and consciousness systems—building what he calls "benevolent technology," designed to help people feel more connected and human, not less. Again, I don’t make a dime if you go to https://goabove.ai/ and sign up. In this discussion I go deep into how we are missing ourselves, and how we can better show up, for ourselves and others.

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I am not nearly as concerned about my lifespan as my health span. I’d rather live 10 years less but be very capable physically and mentally than to linger an extra 10 years while physically and mentally impaired. I’m not much for gimmicks and hacks that address one thing and are promoted as cure alls. I don’t believe in it. So with all that said, in this episode we are talking about muscle. My expert on the topic is Dr Gabrielle Lyon. I’ve known of Gabrielle for a long, long time through Functional Medicine circles. Her focus and expertise is Muscle-Centric Medicine. I am now a believer that a certain amount of muscle mass is critical for healthy aging. Not just for your physical capabilities, but also your mental abilities. I’m convinced all aspects of our bodies are intrinsically connected and the muscle in your bicep doesn’t just help you lift things well, that muscle works to fortify and fuel your entire body, brain included. Since this recording, I’d say Gabrielle’s notoriety has exploded. She has become the #1 evangelist, spokesperson, and recognized expert for the benefits of muscle and a primary leader in health and wellness overall. That said, I sometimes struggle with possibly a bit too much focus being given to muscle alone, and how much. I still enjoy running and riding and hiking and walking and endurance activities. But, I maintain a consistent, almost daily routine of push ups, pull ups, and dips, and will probably add more resistance activities over time. But I think you will gain valuable info from this discussion on aspects of muscle that you can address right away. I reference some of Gabrielle’s book, Forever Strong: A New, Science-Based Strategy for Aging Well, and you can find her podcast at The Dr Gabrielle Lyon Show.

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We have a culture that reports an almost all time high of human suffering. A predominant term this suffering gets labeled as is - trauma. But I just don’t think it’s the right term for many of us. Trauma is defined as - an emotional and physical response to a very stressful, scary, or harmful event. What I experience myself, and feel so many others do, is loss. Loss that may not seem super stressful, scary, or harmful, but it pains us to a deep, deep level. And nobody is speaking well to this. Which is why I bring to you in this episode, someone who I revere, and will honestly say that the following conversation was one of the most helpful I’ve had in as long as I can remember. Dr. Lucy Hone is an adjunct fellow at the University of Canterbury and a sought-after professional speaker, a bestselling author, and an award-winning internationally published science educator. She is regularly featured in international media, including in The Guardian, the Hidden Brain, and the Washington Post and is a columnist for Psychology Today. Her first book, Resilient Grieving, was an international bestseller that led to a fully updated and expanded second edition in 2024 and her TED talk, Three Secrets of Resilient People, has been viewed by over nine million people. Now Lucy has come out with her latest research in a new book, How Will I Ever Get Through This: Evidence Based Tools to Help You Heal From Hardship, Grief, and Loss. Again, I’m citing this conversation as one of the most profound I’ve had in a long time. We discuss how most attention gets given to the loss of a loved one or our health, but many people are suffering themselves greatly regarding the loss of an ideal. An expectation. A dream or a goal. A picture they held of their lives. And that culturally we may be seeing the mental health crisis as a result of a societal perceived loss of hope. I expect many of you will find resonance in this conversation, for pain you carry, and hope for some relief.

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I’m a fan of mind games, because I feel most all of what we experience is just that, a mind game. But I’ve always helped myself by considering different angles to stories. And today I bring you one I’ve benefited myself with. You’ve probably heard of the concept of “10X,” as in 10 Xing your goal. But I want to be clear, today I look at this as a practice or exercise and am not presenting it as what you or I should do. This then is a conversation I’m revisiting with renowned organizational psychologist and author, Dr Benjamin Hardy. I perceive Ben as having great insight into human transformation and a knack for creating clear, contrasting, and innovative messages around concepts we’ve long grappled with. Along with celebrated business coach, Dan Sullivan they wrote a book titled, 10x is easier than 2x: How World-Class Entrepreneurs Achieve More By Doing Less. I’ve altered some of my views on this concept since this talk, but I feel this is a wonderful exercise for anyone to do in order to divest themselves of a lot of clutter we let get in our way and get to what is important for a destination or achievement we desire. You could almost compare it to asking what you would take from your home if you only had 30 minutes till you must evacuate for a flood or fire. This concept can get us super focused and realize what is truly necessary.

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