‘I think when we get into a relationship a lot of people have these massive expectations around what should be done, shouldn’t be done, in the bedroom, out of the bedroom, nope… and it’s such a fast-paced society of just swiping them out or booting them out, that people don’t often get that chance for a relationship to settle in. It takes a really good three months in a relationship to step into who you really are in that relationship, to show your true self. The niceties can go by then, any pretences that might be there can start to dissipate after three months and you see someone’s true colours, and you see how they respond to situations. And you go, ‘Well that doesn’t feel right for me.’ So that’s when you can have the conversation, or you can go this relationship isn’t going to go in the direction that I want so it comes back to that choice point. But communication is the biggest key for a relationship to survive and to have great intimacy and have great sex.’ ~ Pauline Ryeland
In this week’s podcast, Kim interviews Pauline Ryeland and they discuss the journey of human sexuality, the importance of communication and intimacy in relationships, and the challenges of finding intimacy in today’s dating landscape. They also touched on the impact of pornography on people’s perceptions of sexuality and pleasure, the physiological aspects of female arousal, and the concept of self-love and its various forms. Throughout the meeting, Pauline shares her journey towards becoming an empowered sexual woman, her approach to to self-pleasure, and her work as an intimacy, sex, and libido coach and educator.
About Pauline:
Pauline Ryeland, Intimacy Whisperer ® works as an Intimacy, Sex & Libido Coach & Educator. She is certified as a Somatic Sexological Body Worker, Tantra Teacher & Facilitator and a Master Trainer & Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Advanced Subconscious Reprogramming, Errikson Hypnotherapy, a Results Coach & Performance Consultant and a Havening Techniques™ Trauma Specialist.
Pauline recently wrote a book titled, Empowered Conscious Sexuality – From Prude to Pleasure which became a number 1 Amazon best seller in 5 categories. The book takes you through her personal journey of becoming a Sex Therapist as well as talking about the modalities she uses, the problems she treats and some client testimonials. She also discusses, sacred sexuality, conscious relationships, consent and boundaries and there are also some great practices for you to do on your own or with a partner.
Pauline works as a Transformational Coach and Leader, working with individuals and couples around challenges they may be experiencing with intimacy, sex, libido, relationships and everything in between.
Pauline works with all aspects of mind, body and spirit to bring you to a place of alignment with your intimate and sexual desires as well as clearing emotional blockages, patterns and limiting beliefs.
Working with a combination of all her practices, Pauline specialises in libido coaching for women and men.
Working with women who have lost their libido, inability to orgasm and experiencing painful sex and complications from endometriosis. As well as working with men who have lost their libido, can’t maintain or experience an erection, premature ejaculation, Peyronie’s disease, genital nerve damage and enlarged prostates.
Pauline has also been trained to do scar remediation work for loss of genital sensation, genital numbness for both men and women, including releasing pain experienced from intercourse which can occur for a variety of reasons, circumcision sensitivity, nerve damage in the penis from surgeries, vasectomies plus a variety of other aspects.
Pauline is also a trained Havening practitioner for Trauma, PTSD and Anxiety and utilises this practice with any of her clients who have experienced any sort of sexual trauma, abuse, general trauma and anxiety. The practice unlocks the flight, fright, freeze mode from the amygdala which allows the individual to look back on the trauma with zero emotional charge.
Pauline is passionate about awakening people to their full potential as sexual beings as well sustainability of relationships, helping couples to deepen their connections.
Pauline is a regular speaker at large events such as Sexpo, Mind Body Spirit Festival, Woodford Folk Festival and many other events.
Pauline has also been interviewed and contributed to a variety of magazines such as Cleo and Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, Sunshine Coast Daily, The New Zealand Herald, The Courier Mail, Daily Mirror, The Daily Telegraph, Herald Sun, both nationally and overseas and News.com.au She has also contributed many articles and has been the monthly columnist, Sex Expert for Holistic Bliss magazine. She has also been interviewed by several radio shows such as ABC Radio and local Noosa Community radio.
Her definition of Self Love is doing the things that spark joy for you, bringing self-pleasure in, that’s self-care, including your life force. It’s about not being a people pleaser, it’s about honouring yourself.
Her favourite quote is from:
Our bodies know what type of orgasm we need most. Our job is to let go of the pretender voices that inhibit us from expressing our natural sexual feelings.
Orgasm’s make us feel lighter, healthier and heal wounds. They help us feel whole and reconnect us with all life.
Links to follow:
W: www.paulineryeland.com
E:
[email protected]
F: www.facebook.com/intimacywhisperer
I: https://www.instagram.com/intimacywhisperer/
L: https://www.linkedin.com/in/PaulineRyeland-Intimacy-Whisperer
You Tube: https://www.youtube.com/user/MultiPauline7
You Tube: https://www.youtube.com/@IntimacyWhisperer
Quotes:
I downloaded that I needed to become an intimacy coach.
I now know to follow my intuition.
I think it’s about teaching age-appropriate things to your children.
It’s important for parents to remain open in the conversation with their children.
The main thing is communication, keep it open.
It is about raising sexual energy and vibrational energy.
It is crazy simple to connect in again.
There’s a movie called ‘Hysteria’ watch it!
The point of the orgasm is to have complete pleasure.
Sex is energy, a life force.
Women have a switch to turn the libido off.
There has to be a level of connection which can be a combination of physical and mental.
You have to come back to the heart and mind connection.
Online dating has created a really big problem.
Men have to chase and earn the date!
Shamanic is a word that gets thrown around a lot.
It’s about how you treat someone, is that the same as how you want to be treated?
It’s so easy to act with porn now and so accessible.
It’s about creating new ways to keep your body guessing.
Be out of your head and into your body.
Masturbation is a really healthy thing to do for everyone.
Self-pleasure is very different to having sex with a partner.
I think there are soul connections some are fleeting and some are for life.
Everyone’s different, work with what you’ve got!
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MUSIC INTRO & OUTRO
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New Zealand