Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn

• How hormones hijack focus, mood, and energy

  ADHD in women is often misunderstood, even by ourselves — and hormones are a big part of the story. This week, host Cate Osborn chats with psychiatrist and researcher Dr. Lotta Borg Skoglund about how hormone cycles affect ADHD in women. From PMS to perimenopause, we explore how shifting hormones can change how ADHD shows up — and how that impacts mood, focus, and relationships.Dr. Borg Skoglund shares what the research says, what often gets overlooked in diagnosis and treatment, and how understanding the patterns in your cycle can make everyday life a little easier.Related resourcesADHD Girls to Women by Dr. Lotta Borg SkoglundLotta’s research group, GODDESS ADHDA guide to hormones and ADHDFrom the Climbing the Walls podcast: Are hormones the final frontier for women with ADHD?Timestamps(01:42) The changes in hormones during the menstrual cycle, and how they can affect ADHD symptoms(04:57) ADHD symptoms across hormonal life milestones like puberty, pregnancy, and menopause(10:21) The formation of Lotta’s research group GODDESS ADHD(14:25) The importance of this overdue research, and the constant dismissal of women’s hormonal challenges(17:12) Mapping your cycle to help understand your ADHD symptom fluctuations(21:10) How do we track these things if our cycles are non-traditional?(24:06) How do hormones connect to Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org. We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at [email protected]. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

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• Too much or not enough: ADHD sensory challenges and sex

  If sex sometimes feels confusing, overstimulating, or just... a lot, you’re not alone. ADHD and sensory issues can show up during sex and in our physical relationships. This week, psychologist Dr. Lyne Piché joins us to discuss how ADHD and sensory challenges can shape our sex lives, and how to talk about it. From touch sensitivity to struggling to focus, we dive into why things might feel like “too much” one minute and “not enough” the next—and how to figure it all out.Related resourcesDr. Piché’s website, www.ADHDsex.comDr. Piché’s ADHD and Sex workbookAn earlier Sorry, I Missed This episode: ADHD, sensory systems, and communicationTimestamps(2:07) What is a sensory issue? (05:16) How do we build awareness and language about our sensory issues in the bedroom? (09:45) How do we tell the difference between sensory overload and just not being in the mood for sex? (12:15) The importance of trust in your partner, and not “enduring” something just for someone else(15:22) How kink can help with sensory issues in sex(16:42) Letting go of the shame over not liking the things that you’re “supposed” to like(19:07) How can we talk to our partners about our sensory needs if we’re scared of hurting their feelings or disappointing them?(22:47) Building “yes” spaces and talking to our partners about our sexy sensory dos and don’ts—without feeling unsexy(27:44) Trying things out more than once to determine whether it’s a sensory issue or a preferenceFor a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org. We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at [email protected]. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

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• ADHD and caregiving: Helping others when you’re struggling

  Being a caregiver to a friend or loved one is hard—add ADHD to the mix, and it’s a whole different challenge.Self-care and ADHD Coach Stephanie Antoine joins us to talk about what it’s like caring for our loved ones while managing executive dysfunction, burnout, and more. She also offers a few mindfulness practices to help us recenter when the stress feels like too much. If you’ve ever struggled to care for someone else while trying to keep yourself afloat, this one’s for you.Related resourcesStephanie’s website, stephanieantoine.comDownload: Feeling stressed? Try the 5-4-3-2-1 mindfulness technique From the ADHD Aha! podcast, Jessica McCabe on motherhood, social anxiety, and ADHD medicationTimestamps(02:59) Why did Stephanie start helping others in caregiving roles?(04:52) Executive function and caregiving, and beating yourself up(07:51) How do we manage big feelings like frustration and resentment while caregiving?(12:33) Perfectionism and caregiving(17:14) The one thing Stephanie wants you to hear today(19:09) A short guided meditation exercise from StephanieFor a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org. We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at [email protected]. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

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  23:25
• Kink, BDSM, and ADHD

  Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now.ADHD and kink might seem like an unexpected pairing, but for a lot of people, they go hand in hand. From rituals that help with focus to play that taps into the need for stimulation, BDSM can be more than just fun — it can be a real tool for regulation and connection.In this episode, host Cate Osborn chats with author and forensic sexologist Stefani Goerlich about how BDSM can actually support ADHD brains by offering structure, sensory input, and clear communication. Related resourcesStefani’s website, stefanigeorlich.comStefani’s booksTimestamps(02:46) The broad umbrella of ‘kink’(04:16) Focusing on BDSM in particular, and breaking down the acronym(08:38) Kink is always relational, only sometimes sexual(09:48) Why might someone gravitate towards kink/BDSM?(12:30) Common kink myths(15:44) Power exchange, and consent as foreplay(16:32) The benefits of BDSM/kink(18:24) How kink can help with claiming agency(21:10) How negotiated arrangements can take some of the strain off executive function challenges(23:39) What to do when one partner is kinky, and one is not so muchFor a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org. We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at [email protected]. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

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  29:15
• Online dating with ADHD

  Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now.In theory, online dating can feel like an easy, low-stakes solution to meeting people. But in practice, there are a few pitfalls that many fall into. With ADHD, dating apps can pose even more challenges and be an additional drag on your attention. Clinical Psychologist Dr. Shauna Pollard visits the show to talk about what she’s noticed while working with ADHDers on online dating. Join this conversation on the dopamine chase that can happen while using dating apps, and setting boundaries with yourself. Related resourcesDr. Pollard’s websiteA dating coach talks ADHD and super-connectingADHD and emotionsTimestamps(01:58) ADHD and online dating challenges(09:17) Hyperfocusing on dating, and how to slow down(11:41) “Marketing yourself” on online dating, and how to show the whole picture of who you are(14:01) Figure out your “filter” for online matches, and include offline dating in addition to online(17:03) Snap judgements, biases, and discrimination(19:02) Feeling overwhelmed? Do what feels best for you(20:02) ADHD disclosure on dating profiles(22:42) Best practices for ADHDers to build meaningful relationshipsFor a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.org. We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at [email protected]. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

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