Speaking With Confidence

Why is it that even when we know all the “right” communication strategies, we still fall apart or overreact in the conversations that matter most? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we dig beneath the surface of communication challenges and explore what’s really happening when we get triggered at work, at home, or in any relationship.

I’m Tim Newman, and today, I’m thrilled to bring Nima Rahmani to the show. Nima is an expert who works with high-performing individuals, couples, and families to heal relational wounds, regulate their nervous systems, and become trigger-proof in love, leadership, and all forms of connection. With a background blending neuroscience, polyvagal theory, attachment theory, and transformational coaching, Nima guides clients through deep internal shifts that create emotionally safe, co-regulated relationships.

The conversation focused on unraveling the myth that most communication problems can be solved simply by learning new skills or techniques. According to Nima, these so-called “communication issues” are usually just symptoms of deeper nervous system activation. When we experience conflict or pressure, our bodies often respond as if we’re under threat, shutting down, going on the attack, or defaulting to long-established coping mechanisms from childhood and family conditioning.

Together, we explored how real change begins by recognizing these automatic responses, getting honest with ourselves, and learning to parent our own inner child. One concept discussed was the idea of “relational rupture and repair”: it’s not enough to just avoid conflict or push through awkward moments, but instead we must learn to intentionally practice new behaviors and seek “corrective experiences” that show our nervous system it’s safe to show up authentically.

In this episode, we covered:

Why knowing how to communicate isn’t enough when you’re emotionally triggered

How our nervous systems can sabotage our best intentions during high-stakes conversations

The origins of defensive, shutdown, or explosive responses (and how to trace them back to childhood experiences)

Practical steps for building an attuned relationship with your own body and emotions

Why “just setting boundaries” or “being authentic” can feel impossible in the moment—and what actually helps

The process of relational reenactment and corrective experiences to create new patterns

The role shame and a fear of failure play in reactivity, especially in family dynamics

The intergenerational passing down of emotional habits and how we can break the cycle

How men and women often differ in emotional expression, and the importance of supportive communities

When to speak up versus when to let go in conflict situations

Turning the focus from “Why does this keep happening to me?” to “Why do I keep participating in this pattern?”

How self-abandonment shows up in moments of activation and the path toward self-integration and true confidence

Join me for an episode that goes far beyond public speaking tips to address the root of what holds us back from showing up with confidence, clarity, and connection when it truly counts.

Connect with Nima:

Website: https://becometriggerproof.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nimarahmany/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nimarahmanyofficial

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nimarahmanyofficial

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NimaRahmanyOfficial

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Have you ever walked into your first team meeting as a new manager, only to look up a few minutes later and realize you’ve lost the room? Phones come out, eyes wander, and polite nods take the place of real engagement. Why does this “Attention Cliff” happen, and what can new leaders do to prevent it?

In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I dive deep into the real reason so many new managers struggle to keep their teams engaged and most importantly, what you can do to become a leader people want to follow. Drawing both on research and my years teaching communication and leadership skills, I unpack the most common mistakes new managers make, and the simple, practical fixes that build lasting trust and genuine participation.

We’ll talk about why 60% of new managers fail within their first two years not for lack of effort, but because of three common missteps that feel normal in the moment but quietly erode your team’s trust and attention. I share stories from my own time as a college professor, including how a classroom experiment with student-created rules transformed engagement and accountability. You’ll learn why handing over just the task, instead of the task, outcome, and reason, sets your team up for confusion and flat results. Plus, I break down the cost of vague credit when projects go well, revealing why your best people check out silently if their unique contributions aren’t recognized publicly and specifically.

The conversation focused on the “Attention Cliff” , the sudden, often unnoticeable moment when engagement drops off in a meeting and how understanding human attention is crucial for any leader. One concept discussed was the importance of communicating outcomes and reasons, not just assignments, so team members understand the impact and stakes behind their work. A key theme that emerged was how ownership and specific recognition strengthen team culture and drive better results. The discussion explored practical techniques for structuring meetings that respect attention spans, such as starting with outcomes, sharing key points early, and frequently changing format to reset the room’s focus. Several points were raised, including the neuroscience behind attention, the financial cost of employee turnover triggered by lack of recognition, and actionable steps for rebuilding trust if you’ve already lost your team’s engagement.

Here’s what we covered in this episode:

The reality of the Attention Cliff and why it catches new leaders off guard

Research on how quickly people lose focus in meetings (and what that means for your agenda)

The three core mistakes most new managers make when handing off work and credit

Personal stories about letting students set their own rules to unlock real accountability

The measurable impact of specific, public recognition on retention and morale

Neuroscience-backed steps for structuring meetings that work with (not against) natural attention patterns

How to repair trust and re-engage a team when you’ve already lost the room

A simple weekly challenge to practice and immediately observe the positive shift in your team

Whether you’re leading your very first meeting or looking to sharpen your approach, this episode gives you the roadmap and confidence to earn real buy-in, boost performance, and build a team that’s as invested as you are. Your voice has the power to change the world let’s make sure your team is listening.
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Why is it so hard to change someone’s mind even when you think the facts are on your side? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we go far beneath the surface of disagreements to understand what’s really happening in our minds when we argue about politics, policies, or any hot-button issue.

I’m Tim Newman, former college professor turned communication coach, and I believe the conversations we avoid are often the ones with the most potential for growth. Today, I’m joined by JonRobert Tartaglione, a world-renowned psychologist, behavioral scientist, and founder of Influence 51. JonRobert has devoted his career to decoding what truly motivates people, specializing in the science of persuasion and strategic communication. He works with clients across the globe, teaching them how our beliefs are formed, why changing them can feel so threatening, and what it actually takes to create real dialogue.

Early in our conversation, JonRobert turned my understanding upside down by sharing twin studies that reveal political orientation isn’t just about the information we’re exposed to or the arguments we hear; it may be partially rooted in our biology. Whether or not you’re born to be a liberal or conservative isn’t set in stone, but our genetic predispositions can set our “default slider,” influencing which ideology will feel most intuitive or natural to us, even before life experience and social context do their work.

But if it’s not just about nature versus nurture, what lies beneath our deeply held convictions? JonRobert walked us through the three layers where real disagreement lives: first, how we define human nature (fixed or improvable?); second, how we see the world (a dangerous, competitive place or a cooperative, egalitarian one?); and third, what we believe about right and wrong (is morality about avoiding harm, or actively helping others?). These philosophical frameworks often go unspoken, yet they’re the hidden roots of our loudest debates.

You’ll also hear:

Why perceived polarization is often worse than the reality

How “conversational receptiveness” can be contagious and open doors to true discussion

The science behind why trying to “push” someone only results in pushback, not persuasion

An astonishing study where AI chatbots accomplished what most humans struggle to do: opening conspiracy theorists to change

The evolutionary drive to belong, and why group loyalty is so hardwired into us

Why real dialogue means approaching conversations like you could be wrong, not just hoping the other person is

The power and risk of questioning your identity or group beliefs, and how that keeps most people from even considering changing their minds in public

JonRobert also opens up about what in his field he’s least certain about, reminds us that humans aren’t as rational as we like to think, and gives examples from his own life about how changing your environment can fundamentally reshape your perspective.

If you want to move past surface-level debates and actually talk to (not just at) people who see the world differently, this episode is for you. Join us as we break down the science, the psychology, and the real-life practice of persuasive and receptive communication.

Connect with JonRobert:

Website: https://www.influence51.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jonrobert-tartaglione-ph-d-21b26770/

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What if the feedback you’re most proud of giving is actually doing more harm than good? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I dive into why so much of the feedback we give ends up bouncing right off people or worse, making things even less effective and what to do instead.

As a recovering college professor turned communication coach, I’ve seen firsthand how even the most well-intentioned feedback can sometimes make no difference at all. You know that feeling you have a tough conversation that feels like it really landed. There’s eye contact, nodding, even a grateful “thank you.” But fast forward a few weeks and you’re back in the same conversation, just more frustrated. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

There’s no guest joining me for this solo episode. Instead, I’m sharing the research-backed reason why feedback often fails, plus a simple, actionable framework—the Game Film Method—that you can use immediately with your team, your peers, or even on yourself.

During the episode, I break down why feedback can actually make performance worse more than a third of the time, based on decades of research. I’ll walk you through the two main reasons it fails (vagueness and poor aim), explain why focusing too much on the past kills motivation, and show you how sports teams have perfected a better approach in the film room.

Here’s what I cover in this episode:

Why feedback often backfires, according to research by Kluger and DeNisi

The two habits that sabotage effective feedback: vagueness and making it personal rather than task-focused

The problem with rehashing past mistakes and how it hurts motivation

How the Game Film Method borrowed from sports coaching helps shift feedback from personal critique to actionable improvement

The three-step process: watch the play, name one thing, and run it again with real-life examples

The importance of focusing on behaviors and their immediate impact, instead of guessing motives or stacking corrections

How to ask for “game film” feedback on yourself to accelerate your own growth

The power of being timely and specific and why annual reviews are a missed opportunity

Using the method not just for correction, but to reinforce what’s working, too

By the end of this episode, you’ll have a simple framework that transforms feedback from something people dread into a collaborative conversation that actually leads to change. Remember: It’s not about getting it perfect; it’s about aiming for progress with each conversation.
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What if what's holding you back from confident communication isn't a lack of skill, but an old story you've been telling yourself? On this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we dig deep into the real roots of communication anxiety and discover why confidence isn’t something you’re born with; it's something you build, one small step at a time.

As your host, Tim Newman, I’m excited to welcome executive communication coach, keynote speaker, bestselling author, and founder of Uplevel Communication, Mike Acker. Mike’s journey is both remarkable and relatable: he overcame a speech impediment as a child, had to learn to communicate in a new language when he moved to Mexico, and eventually reinvented himself as a professional speaker and coach. His story is living proof that anyone can become a confident communicator no matter where you begin.

In our conversation, Mike and I explored the mindset barriers that stop even talented speakers from reaching their goals. We discussed why being “good enough” in one context doesn’t always mean you’re ready for the next stage, and the difference between being a good speaker and being a good communicator. Mike shared powerful analogies, like how compliments about a homemade hamburger don’t mean it’s ready to be sold in a restaurant, reminding us that comfort in one arena doesn’t guarantee success in another.

Here’s a look at what we covered in this episode:

The real difference between skill and confidence in communication

Mike Acker’s personal journey from speech impediment to professional speaker

Why natural talent (proclivity) and practice are both important and why practice always wins

How being a “good speaker” in one setting doesn’t mean you’re ready for the next challenge

The dangers of arrogance and apathy, and why caring for your audience creates energy and impact

How past wounds like ridicule in childhood or harsh criticism can hold you back, and how to identify and address them

The framework for starting and deepening conversations at networking events, including how to shift from feeling like an outsider to making real connections

Why “being more interested than interesting” is the underrated secret to building community and relationships

The impact you can have by getting involved locally and serving your community

Mike’s value-need-action framework for persuasive communication in the workplace

Highlights from Mike’s bestselling books, Speak with No Fear and Speak with Confidence, and practical ways to use their lessons right away

Why action, not just knowledge leads to real transformation as a communicator

Whether you want to get better at conversations, ace your next big talk, or finally overcome the fear that’s holding you back, you’ll find both inspiration and action steps in this episode. I’m grateful to Mike Acker for sharing his story and wisdom, and I hope you’ll take one idea from this conversation and put it into practice today. Remember, your voice has the power to change the world one conversation at a time.
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