Speaking With Confidence

Have you ever wondered why some networking conversations feel awkward and stale while others just flow with authenticity and connection? In today’s episode of Speaking with Confidence, I tackle exactly that question: why those standard "What do you do?" Icebreakers fail so spectacularly, especially with Gen Z, and how you can transform surface-level small talk into meaningful, memorable conversations.

I dive deep into the challenges of genuine communication in both personal and professional settings. As someone who's spent years studying and coaching communication, I've seen too many capable people get overlooked not because they're not ready, but because they haven't learned how to confidently show up and connect. This episode is all about stepping off the script and embracing authenticity in every conversation that counts.

In this episode, I walk you through my Connection Catalyst framework, designed to help you shift from fact-finding to insight discovery, and show you how strategic curiosity can make you stand out in any room, especially if you’re looking to connect with Gen Z or anyone craving genuine dialogue over tired transactional questions.

Here’s what we covered in this episode:


Why typical networking questions ("What do you do?", "Where are you from?") rarely create real connection


The psychology behind scriptive responses and why Gen Z sees right through transactional conversations


How boring questions signal a lack of curiosity, and why deep, value-driven questions build trust


The three principles of the Connection Catalyst: moving from information to insight, creating a value exchange, and building momentum for deeper conversations


Examples of transforming closed questions into open-ended ones that uncover beliefs, vulnerabilities, and real stories (like replacing "Do you like your job?" with "What's a belief you had about your industry that turned out to be completely wrong?")


The importance of the hidden value exchange in networking how strategic questions demonstrate genuine interest and build social capital


Practical tips for weaving strategic curiosity into your conversations without sounding robotic, including the use of conversational bridges and active listening


Why building rapport matters before diving into deeper questions, and how to keep the conversation comfortable and engaging


A challenge for listeners: replace one standard question in your next conversation with a strategic one and notice the change in dynamic


Reminders on progress over perfection, and resources for public speaking and communication improvement

If you want actionable ways to upgrade your networking skills and create conversations that matter, this episode will give you the tools and the confidence to do just that. Listen in, and let’s start having dialogues that actually build connection, not just check boxes.
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Have you ever wondered what separates an effective leader from a high-performing technician, and how personal branding can make or break your success? Today’s episode of Speaking with Confidence dives deep into these questions with practical wisdom, actionable steps, and a fresh perspective on leadership in the modern world.

I’m Tim Newman, your host—recovering college professor, communication coach, and curious asker of big questions. This week, I had the pleasure of speaking with Walter Dusseldorp, better known as the Dutch Mentor. Walter’s journey is a fascinating one: from aspiring physician and paramedic, to executive leader, pilot, mentor, and now founder of the Pure Leadership Power program and the Smart Performance app. His story is packed with lessons on adaptability, growth, and communication that anyone can apply.

We started with Walter’s unique background, touching on his formative experiences in Holland, responding to 9/11 as a paramedic, and catching the flying bug that led him to pursue piloting as both passion and profession. Walter shared insights about transitions, living with purpose, and the moment that changed his outlook: realizing that dreams need to be lived today, not put off for tomorrow.

From there, we explored Walter’s evolution from technical roles into mentoring and coaching—how he recognized a need for better leadership, saw the gap between technical expertise and people skills, and decided to help others make that pivotal transition. He shared how a growth mindset and continuous learning are essential for becoming an effective communicator and leader, emphasizing the importance of vulnerability, seeking mentorship, and taking ownership of your own development.

If you’re looking for concrete steps to amplify your leadership, hone your communication skills, and clarify your “why,” this conversation is for you. Here’s what we covered in this episode:


Walter’s journey from paramedic and pilot to leadership mentor


The power of transitions and living with purpose


Moving from technical expertise to effective leadership


Why communication is the number one reason teams fail—and how to fix it


The importance of continuous learning, growth mindset, and daily habits


Building and protecting your personal brand (and what mistakes to avoid)


The difference between mentoring and coaching


Outward-facing leadership and the need for confident humility


Why vulnerability and seeking mentorship accelerate your growth


Creating a “why” statement that differentiates you in interviews and organizations


The perils of groupthink, how it devastated the Challenger mission and companies like Blockbuster


The importance of dialogue, civil discourse, and learning to speak the language of younger generations


Practical frameworks for leadership, including Lean Six Sigma and the Pure Leadership Power program


Walter’s Smart Performance app: what it offers and how to get involved

Walter brings a rare mix of technical expertise, personal experience, and pragmatic Dutch wisdom, making this episode one of our most insight-packed to date. If you’re ready to take your leadership to the next level and create a brand that truly reflects who you are, tune in!

You can connect with Walter on LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTube, or email him directly at [email protected]. The Smart Performance app launches January 1st—reach out if you’re interested in joining as a founding member.

Thanks for listening to Speaking with Confidence. Remember: your voice has the power to change the world.

Connect with Walter:

Website: https://www.thedutchmentor.com  

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/walter-dusseldorp-mba-fache-8965b610/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thedutchmentor

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Are you an introvert who’s ever felt pressured to be “more outgoing” at work? Maybe you’ve been told to “speak up more” or “just be charismatic”—but trying on someone else’s style feels fake and leaves you burnt out. What if your natural quietness isn’t the obstacle everyone says it is, but actually your biggest professional edge? That’s the question we’re diving into in this episode of Speaking with Confidence.

I’m Tim Newman, your host—a recovering college professor turned communication coach, and today’s episode is all about turning the corporate world’s obsession with extroversion on its head. We’ll explore the evidence that introverts not only belong in high-visibility roles, but often outperform their extroverted colleagues, especially when it comes to leadership and influence.

In this episode, I get real about the exhaustion introverts feel under non-stop pressure to network and perform. I break down research from top journals that shows the loudest voice isn’t necessarily the most influential. Instead, introverted professionals possess some major superpowers: deep listening, keen observation, and a thoughtful approach that builds psychological safety and trust on teams.

Here’s what we cover in this jam-packed episode:


The myth of extroversion as the only model for leadership (and what the latest research says instead)


How introverts’ natural strength as listeners can build powerful trust and influence within teams


A practical explanation of the 80/20 listening rule for meetings, so you can contribute with confidence and precision


Turning your natural tendency to pause before speaking into a deliberate mark of thoughtfulness (not hesitation)


The “pause and pivot” technique: responding to tough questions without panic or filler, and commanding the room when you do speak


A real-life coaching case study to show these strategies in action


The Precision Protocol: a simple, three-step framework for making every contribution count by preparing smarter, bridging smoothly into discussion, and dropping concise, value-packed insights


How using these strengths consistently can build a reputation as the person everyone wants to hear from—no fake charisma required


The unique power of this approach for Gen Z professionals, remote workers, and anyone seeking greater authenticity in the workplace


A quick-start action step so you can begin leveraging your introvert edge for your next big meeting

I wrap up with a reminder: Progress beats perfection, and your voice—used thoughtfully—can transform your entire team, project, or organization.

If you want to go deeper, be sure to check out my conversation with Stacy Chasen from January for even more strategies for quiet communicators. And don’t forget to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com for your free resources and to sign up for my new course.

Remember, your quiet nature is a strength you just haven’t been shown how to use—until now. Thanks for tuning in, and I’ll talk to you next time!
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Have you ever wondered how the world’s top interrogators communicate with calm, confidence, and true connection—even in high-stakes, emotionally charged scenarios? In today’s episode of Speaking with Confidence, I dive into this question and so much more with Brad Beeler, a retired United States Secret Service special agent and course manager for interview and interrogation techniques at the National Center for Credibility Assessment. Brad’s career is nothing short of extraordinary: he served 25 years in the Secret Service, spent 17 years as a polygraph examiner, and has conducted more criminal polygraph examinations than anyone else in Secret Service history.

Brad's experience spans thousands of interviews with some of the most difficult individuals—often in cases involving the sexual exploitation of children. What struck me in our conversation is how central communication is, not just for uncovering the truth, but for creating safety, trust, and effectiveness in the most challenging environments. Brad shares why calm leads to calm, and how emotional contagion, body language, and tone shape every interaction—whether you’re in a high-stakes interview or talking with your family.

Here’s what we cover in this episode:


Brad Beeler’s career journey and transition to teaching


The power of calm and emotional contagion in communication


The science of body language, tone, and presence


Listening as a full-contact sport and why neutrality matters


Practical strategies for building connections and safe spaces


How to research and prepare for impactful conversations


Safety and privacy in the digital age, especially for children


Insights from Brad’s book, "Tell Me Everything"


Understanding horns and halos and confirmation bias


The difference between ethical influence and manipulation


Treating everyone with respect and the importance of truth-finding

You’ll walk away from this episode inspired to rethink how you show up in every conversation—with strategies and mindsets used by one of the world’s top communicators. If you want to connect with Brad, visit BradleyBeeler.com or find him on LinkedIn or Instagram at BradBeeler1865. Thank you for joining us, and remember: your voice has the power to change the world.

Connect with Brad:

Website: https://bradleybeeler.com   

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bradbeeler1865/  

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bradbeeler1865  

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Have you ever felt guilty saying no, even when your brain screams that you don’t have the time or energy to help? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I tackle one of the most challenging—and universal—skills for communication and leadership: how to set boundaries and say no effectively, without damaging relationships or your credibility.

As I celebrate the podcast’s two-year anniversary, I’m excited to announce a special giveaway for listeners—a free 3-hour one-on-one coaching package for anyone who leaves a review and tags me on social media. But before we dive into the details of the contest, let’s get real about the Gen Z struggle, which honestly affects almost all of us: we want to be helpful, but we desperately need to protect our time and energy. This episode is all about striking that balance, and learning to say a strategic no that actually builds trust and influence.

Today, I’m guiding you through real-world strategies grounded in science and research for better boundary-setting. I start by unpacking why it feels so hard to say no: our brains literally perceive it as a social threat, triggering fight-or-flight mode thanks to the amygdala. Most people fall into two traps when refusing a request—either ghosting (avoiding the person altogether) or becoming a jerk (being overly blunt or aggressive). Both hurt your professional reputation and relationships. Then there’s the spotlight effect, which tricks us into believing everyone will notice and judge our refusal way more harshly than reality suggests.

Here’s what we covered in this episode:


Why saying no feels dangerous, and the neuroscience behind our aversion to refusal


Common failure modes to avoid: ghosting and aggressive rejection


The Value Anchor Method explained and demonstrated with real-world scripts


How to say no to your boss, teammate, or friend without burning bridges


Tips for maintaining professionalism and protecting your reputation


The mindset shift from seeing boundaries as walls to viewing them as foundations for strong partnerships


A practical implementation challenge for listeners to practice the three-part refusal framework


Resources for deeper learning, including my video with the NOPE Coach Suzanne Kolberg and my Formula for Public Speaking course


Details about the two-year anniversary contest and how to enter

If you’re ready to upgrade your communication skills and build lasting influence—plus maybe win some free coaching—this episode gives you everything you need to start saying no with confidence, clarity, and kindness. Let’s turn boundaries into bridges for stronger, healthier connections in both your work and personal life.
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