Speaking With Confidence

What if the feedback you’re most proud of giving is actually doing more harm than good? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I dive into why so much of the feedback we give ends up bouncing right off people or worse, making things even less effective and what to do instead.

As a recovering college professor turned communication coach, I’ve seen firsthand how even the most well-intentioned feedback can sometimes make no difference at all. You know that feeling you have a tough conversation that feels like it really landed. There’s eye contact, nodding, even a grateful “thank you.” But fast forward a few weeks and you’re back in the same conversation, just more frustrated. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

There’s no guest joining me for this solo episode. Instead, I’m sharing the research-backed reason why feedback often fails, plus a simple, actionable framework—the Game Film Method—that you can use immediately with your team, your peers, or even on yourself.

During the episode, I break down why feedback can actually make performance worse more than a third of the time, based on decades of research. I’ll walk you through the two main reasons it fails (vagueness and poor aim), explain why focusing too much on the past kills motivation, and show you how sports teams have perfected a better approach in the film room.

Here’s what I cover in this episode:

Why feedback often backfires, according to research by Kluger and DeNisi

The two habits that sabotage effective feedback: vagueness and making it personal rather than task-focused

The problem with rehashing past mistakes and how it hurts motivation

How the Game Film Method borrowed from sports coaching helps shift feedback from personal critique to actionable improvement

The three-step process: watch the play, name one thing, and run it again with real-life examples

The importance of focusing on behaviors and their immediate impact, instead of guessing motives or stacking corrections

How to ask for “game film” feedback on yourself to accelerate your own growth

The power of being timely and specific and why annual reviews are a missed opportunity

Using the method not just for correction, but to reinforce what’s working, too

By the end of this episode, you’ll have a simple framework that transforms feedback from something people dread into a collaborative conversation that actually leads to change. Remember: It’s not about getting it perfect; it’s about aiming for progress with each conversation.
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What if what's holding you back from confident communication isn't a lack of skill, but an old story you've been telling yourself? On this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we dig deep into the real roots of communication anxiety and discover why confidence isn’t something you’re born with; it's something you build, one small step at a time.

As your host, Tim Newman, I’m excited to welcome executive communication coach, keynote speaker, bestselling author, and founder of Uplevel Communication, Mike Acker. Mike’s journey is both remarkable and relatable: he overcame a speech impediment as a child, had to learn to communicate in a new language when he moved to Mexico, and eventually reinvented himself as a professional speaker and coach. His story is living proof that anyone can become a confident communicator no matter where you begin.

In our conversation, Mike and I explored the mindset barriers that stop even talented speakers from reaching their goals. We discussed why being “good enough” in one context doesn’t always mean you’re ready for the next stage, and the difference between being a good speaker and being a good communicator. Mike shared powerful analogies, like how compliments about a homemade hamburger don’t mean it’s ready to be sold in a restaurant, reminding us that comfort in one arena doesn’t guarantee success in another.

Here’s a look at what we covered in this episode:

The real difference between skill and confidence in communication

Mike Acker’s personal journey from speech impediment to professional speaker

Why natural talent (proclivity) and practice are both important and why practice always wins

How being a “good speaker” in one setting doesn’t mean you’re ready for the next challenge

The dangers of arrogance and apathy, and why caring for your audience creates energy and impact

How past wounds like ridicule in childhood or harsh criticism can hold you back, and how to identify and address them

The framework for starting and deepening conversations at networking events, including how to shift from feeling like an outsider to making real connections

Why “being more interested than interesting” is the underrated secret to building community and relationships

The impact you can have by getting involved locally and serving your community

Mike’s value-need-action framework for persuasive communication in the workplace

Highlights from Mike’s bestselling books, Speak with No Fear and Speak with Confidence, and practical ways to use their lessons right away

Why action, not just knowledge leads to real transformation as a communicator

Whether you want to get better at conversations, ace your next big talk, or finally overcome the fear that’s holding you back, you’ll find both inspiration and action steps in this episode. I’m grateful to Mike Acker for sharing his story and wisdom, and I hope you’ll take one idea from this conversation and put it into practice today. Remember, your voice has the power to change the world one conversation at a time.
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Have you ever walked out of a one-on-one with your boss feeling like you just gave a verbal status report, but nothing really moved forward for you or your career? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we’re tackling one of the most underused and most valuable meetings in your entire week: the one-on-one with your manager. I break down why these touchpoints often get wasted, and how you can turn them into your best shot at getting the recognition, resources, and growth you deserve.

I’ve seen it happen again and again with the people I coach: You work hard, you want more responsibility or a raise, but when you get 30 minutes of your boss’s time, you end up listing what’s on track and what’s been checked off and that’s it. I used to believe the work speaks for itself, but as I’ve learned (the hard way), it simply doesn’t. If you don’t use your one-on-one to tell your side of the story, something else will fill that space.

This episode is a solo one just me, sharing the hard-won strategies that help professionals go from being invisible to being seen and valued. We’ll walk through three actionable phases to make your one-on-one the most powerful meeting on your schedule, and I’ll give you the tools to prepare, build momentum, and make your big ask with confidence.

Here’s a quick overview of what we covered:

Why status updates belong in quick emails, not in your precious one-on-one time

The importance of preparing for your one-on-one like it’s your meeting, not just your boss’s

How to create and use a simple “brag file” to capture wins, progress, and impact as they happen

The 3-line agenda that keeps your meetings focused and shows up with clarity every time

Why the sequence of your ask really matters and how to build up to the big things you want

The difference between asking for more resources or support, and outright asking for a raise or promotion

How to have the money and title conversation, including the crucial “power of the pause”

The role of timing and how to find out when pay decisions are really made

How to separate the ask for money from the ask for scope or title and why you want to keep those threads clear

Strategies if the answer is “no” and how that’s not always the end of the road

What to do when following up after your meeting, and how to keep a shared record that helps your boss go to bat for you (or helps you make your case elsewhere if you ever need to)

The weekly challenge to get started and show up like your one-on-ones are there for you because they are

By the end of this episode, you’ll have a playbook for turning your one-on-ones from routine updates into compelling opportunities for growth. Start your brag file, send your three-line agenda, and remember: you’re not just working hard, you’re making sure your hard work gets seen. Let’s make your next meeting count!
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How can adults truly connect with and empower the younger generation in an age where it feels like the tools for genuine communication are slipping away?

In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I dive deep into the art of communication not just talking but really listening especially as it relates to bridging the generational gap. As someone who’s spent years on college campuses and in classrooms, I know firsthand how much adults can get caught up in teaching the “right” way to speak, lead, or motivate young people. But what if the real breakthrough comes from simply learning how to listen and making space for the voices of youth?

That’s why I’m thrilled to welcome James McLamb to the show. With over three decades of experience working with students and having interviewed more than 2,500 of them, James McLamb brings a unique perspective as a national youth empowerment strategist, author, speaker, and founder of Generation Youth. He’s dedicated his life to equipping both young people and the adults who serve them with the tools for resilience, confidence, and leadership.

Here’s what we covered in this episode:

The importance of listening versus speaking when working with young people

James McLamb’s journey from performing to serving on stage

How “lighthouse parenting” helps guide rather than control youth

Why giving too many answers (instead of asking questions) can hinder growth

The impact of helicopter, lawnmower, and snowplow parenting styles

How to ask better questions and the power of “tell me more”

Why timing matters in conversations with teens answers don’t always come on our schedule

The challenge of building credibility at a young age (and how to do it through service and authenticity)

Technology’s role in shaping (and sometimes eroding) communication and conflict resolution skills

Concrete advice for young people whose voices aren’t being heard by adults

Details on Generation Youth’s mission to equip adults and teens for leadership, and where to learn more

Whether you’re a parent, teacher, coach, student, or simply someone navigating generational divides, this conversation with James McLamb gives you a toolkit for listening, questioning, and leading with empathy and confidence.

Connect with James:

Website: https://www.generation-youth.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/james-mclamb-74a72746/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/generation__youth/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jamesmclambauthor/

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Have you ever frozen when someone asks, “So, tell me about yourself”? Or maybe you’ve rambled on, unsure what the other person really wants to hear? In today’s episode, I’m tackling one of the most common yet challenging questions you’ll face in networking events, interviews, or any conversation where you want to make an impact and how to answer it with clarity and confidence.

As your host, Tim Newman, a recovering college professor and communication coach I’m excited to break down the real reason behind this dreaded question and how to respond in a way that stands out from the crowd. There’s no guest joining me this week; I’m here to walk you through a simple, powerful formula that works in any room.

I start by admitting the traps I’ve fallen into myself coming from academia, it was natural to respond to “tell me about yourself” with a chronological timeline: degrees, positions, publications. But that’s not what people actually want or need to hear. The truth is, when someone asks about you, they’re quietly wondering, “Can you help me?” If your response is a list of dates and job titles, you’re missing the mark.

This episode is all about shifting focus from yourself to the other person’s problem, why most introductions fail, and how you can ensure yours makes a memorable impact. I dive into the three classic mistakes people make: the chronological dump, the unnecessary overshare, and the robotic scripted answer. Instead, I introduce a simple three-part answer who you are, what you do, and why it matters that’s authentic, conversational, and relevant.

Here’s what we covered in this episode:

The real question behind “tell me about yourself,” and why the usual answers don’t work

Three common mistakes that make you sound desperate or forgettable

The simple, proven “who you are, what you do, why it matters” introduction framework

How to stop focusing on your own history and start solving the other person’s problem

Concrete examples for networking, interviews, and public speaking settings

How to sound natural, not scripted, when delivering your answer

Why listening like you’re wrong is just as important as talking like you’re right

The one challenge I want you to try before your next conversation

By the end of this episode, you’ll have a blueprint to answer “tell me about yourself” with confidence, make a strong impression, and turn every introduction into a real opportunity. I can’t wait for you to put this into practice because when you focus on helping others, you’ll always stand out in the very best way.
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