Speaking With Confidence

What if those five seconds of awkward silence after a tough question aren’t your enemy, but your superpower? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I’m diving straight into one of the most nerve-wracking moments in any presentation: the Q&A. We rehearse our slides, perfect our transitions, and smooth out our closing lines, but when the floor opens up for questions, everything can change in an instant especially when you feel you’ve lost control.

I know that feeling all too well, both as a former college professor and now as a communication coach. As I guide you through, I’ll show you how these moments of silence, those pauses where your heart is pounding and your mind goes blank, can actually be your secret weapon rather than your biggest fear.

In this solo episode, there’s no guest just me and decades of experience with Q&A sessions that taught me the hard way: confidence isn’t about never freezing or panicking, it’s about having a system you can rely on when the pressure hits. I share the “5-Second Rule” I discovered after years in the classroom, and I’ll show you why your audience sees these pauses as thoughtful, even when they feel endless to you.

Today, I break down the three greatest anxiety spikes that sabotage Q&As losing control of the room, getting a curveball or even hostile question, and the nightmare of complete silence. I’ll walk you through handling tough questions you never prepared for, responding calmly when you’re challenged, and, most importantly, holding the silence confidently when nobody jumps in right away.

We’ll go step-by-step through:

The science behind why your heart spikes and your brain blanks during Q&A

Why silence after a question is not a sign you’re failing

The “5-Second Rule” and exactly how to use it feel your feet, exhale, and repeat the question

How to handle curveball questions without rambling or bluffing

What to do when you’re faced with a hostile challenge and how acknowledging, not attacking, is your best move

The power of holding silence and letting your audience process, rather than rushing to fill the gap

Why over-rehearsing answers can actually hurt you and how to draft a “response shape” instead

A concrete prep move: spending just one hour drafting answers to the three questions that scare you most

Simple ways to manage your energy so you’re ready for anything the Q&A throws at you

Your challenge this week: write down the question that scares you most before your next presentation and draft the shape of your answer. Trust in the pause, and let your newfound confidence grow from the silence. Remember, progress always beats perfection, and your voice has the power to change the world. Let’s make your next Q&A your greatest strength!
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How do you actually lead yourself before you can lead others, and what does self-leadership have to do with confidence and authentic communication? In today’s episode, we’re digging deep into the idea that most of us don’t really have a communication problem — we have a self-leadership problem. You can’t speak with confidence if you don’t trust your own voice, and you’ll never lead a team until you can lead yourself.

I’m Tim Newman, your host, and today I’m joined by the insightful Chip Scholz. Chip is a man of stories and craft, a long-time business and leadership coach, and the author of Every Dog Has Its Day. He’s a guy who has found lessons in everything from family conversations to unexpected detours, shaping pieces of maple in his woodshop, and recovering from major life challenges like a stroke. His reflections on craft and life show us how small, quiet moments can fundamentally change who we become and what we’re willing to let go of.

In our conversation, Chip Scholz brings a wealth of experience, not only from decades of coaching top executives but also from a journey of personal transformation. We talk about the lessons he learned at the lathe, the dangers of “forcing the cut” both with wood and with people, and why being authentic is at the heart of real leadership. We go beyond the clichés why “being authentic” is so much more than a buzzword, and how most people actually get this concept wrong. Chip Scholz unpacks why most folks struggle to articulate what they truly want, and how getting honest feedback is a critical first step in transformation.

We dig into some of the tough stuff like navigating 360 evaluations without spiraling into self-doubt, and recognizing the difference between companies that “weaponize” feedback versus those that use it for real growth. We walk through the kind of accountability that separates real leaders from those just going through the motions, and why actions always speak louder than words. We also hit on the transition from doing to being as you move into leadership roles, and the pitfalls of believing your own PR at the top.

We also talk about the importance of reading and lifelong learning, why so many people stop reading books after college and what they’re missing by doing so. Chip Scholz shares his framework built around the 5 Cs: context, clarity, conditioning, choice, and character. We discuss generational differences, social skill development (or lack thereof), and how cycles in society shape our communication and sense of self.

Not to mention, we tackle the link between self-awareness, emotional literacy, and communication confidence and why being able to name your emotions and own them is a foundational skill for any leader or speaker.

Here’s what we cover in this episode:

Why trusting your own voice is step one to speaking and leading with confidence

The power of craft: lessons from woodturning and how forcing things rarely works

What “self-leadership” and “authenticity” really mean with concrete, actionable examples

How to get honest about what you want (and why most people can’t)

Feedback, 360 evaluations, and using criticism for growth instead of shame

The accountability gap: keeping your word, taking ownership, and building trust

Transitioning from “doing” to “being” in leadership roles

The value of reading, writing, and being a lifelong learner for leaders and communicators

Chip Scholz’s 5 Cs framework for effective self-leadership

Generational dynamics, societal cycles, and how history repeats itself in new ways

Vulnerability, emotional vocabulary, and why self-awareness (not just confidence) powers great communication

When confidence and preparation go hand in hand and how everyone feels nervous (even us!)

Practical advice for improving your speaking game, from reps to feedback to avoiding “death by PowerPoint”

How social media, ego, and chasing attention can derail self-leadership and meaningful communication

If you’re ready to reframe the way you think about leadership, confidence, and the voice you bring to the world, this episode is for you. Let’s do the work together because your voice has the power to change not just your world, but the world around you.
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What if the advice to "calm down" before a big presentation is actually making your nerves worse? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we challenge one of the most common myths about overcoming stage fright and explore why trying to force yourself into calm may be backfiring.

As your host, Tim Newman—a recovering college professor turned communication coach—I’m here to help you master the art of showing up with confidence in every conversation that counts. Today, we’re zeroing in on nerves and adrenaline, and how the world’s top performers don’t eliminate these feelings—they learn to channel them.

In this solo episode, I walk you through the surprising science behind nerves and performance, starting with the foundational Yerkes-Dodson curve from 1908, which shows that there’s a sweet spot between zero stress and too much stress; that middle ground is where you’re alert and loose, ready to perform at your best. I share why the standard advice to "relax" before a big moment doesn’t work and explain what elite athletes like Michael Phelps, Kobe Bryant, and Rafael Nadal do differently—their routines and mental strategies transform adrenaline from something to fight into something to fuel them.

We’ll look at Harvard researcher Alison Wood Brooks’ study, which put the “calm down” approach head-to-head with a simple two-second reframe. You’ll learn why just saying “I am excited” out loud can shift your entire mindset and how pairing that phrase with your own personal pre-performance ritual can put you in the zone without fighting your biology.

Throughout the episode, I discuss:

The problem with trying to calm yourself before high-stakes moments 00:51

The science behind optimal performance and the role of the Yerkes-Dodson curve 01:18

Stories from elite athletes and their mental routines, including Michael Phelps’ visualization techniques and Kobe Bryant’s pregame rituals 04:06

The powerful impact of deliberate triggers and routines 05:20

Why your body interprets adrenaline based on the instructions you give it 06:12

Evidence from Alison Wood Brooks’ research on “I am excited” and public speaking performance 06:37

A step-by-step process to build your own routine and mindset shift 08:16

How to recognize your personal “sweet spot” for performance—not too much, not too little energy 10:02

Adapting techniques for introverts and extroverts 10:25

When to use these techniques (and when not to) 11:17

How to recover if you overshoot and get too nervous 11:52

Your weekly challenge to try the “I am excited” technique paired with your own trigger 12:52

Whether you’re gearing up for a board meeting, a big pitch, or simply want to own the next Zoom call, this episode will give you practical, science-backed tools to turn nerves into your competitive advantage. Because the goal isn’t less adrenaline—it's giving your body better instructions. Your voice has the power to change the world, and I’m excited to help you harness it.

Timestamps:

00:00 Struggling with anxiety before meetings

04:10 Visualizing and rehearsing success

08:53 Handling pre-review nerves

11:05 Managing situational nerves

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Have you ever wondered whether “confidence” is really the key to becoming a great communicator or is something more important happening beneath the surface? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we’re challenging what it really means to find your voice, step up before you feel ready, and why confidence might not be the word we should be chasing after all.

I’m Tim Newman, your host and recovering college professor turned communication coach. This week, I’m joined by Dr. Mickey Fitch Collins, leadership facilitator, speaker, and expert in helping organizations translate human skills like communication, empathy, and resilience into real-world impact. Mickey’s diverse background spans higher education, edtech, and corporate learning, and she brings both research and hands-on experience to the table.

In this conversation, we dive deep into Mickey’s fascinating journey from being a teenage girl breaking into the male-dominated world of professional bass fishing (yes, you read that right!) to holding senior roles in academia and ultimately walking away at forty to rebuild her career from scratch. Along the way, Mickey discovered that public speaking isn’t just about commanding a stage, it's about storytelling, and storytelling is about relationships.

We explore the formative power of speaking before you feel “ready,” how early public speaking experiences shaped Mickey’s life, and how standing out demographically meant she had to develop substance and real influence behind her voice. We unpack the vital distinction between confidence (what people see and measure externally) and self-efficacy (the inner belief in your ability to get things done) and why understanding this difference is a gamechanger.

Mickey shares specific, research-backed building blocks for growing your own self-efficacy and how simple reflection and feedback can rapidly increase your poise and presence, whether you’re on stage or in the workplace. We discuss why confidence might get you in the room, but only competence and substance keep you there, and how storytelling and vulnerability open the door to authentic influence. You’ll also hear how she wrestled with the decision to leave a prestigious academic role and how to navigate major transitions in your own professional life.

Here’s what we covered in this episode:

Mickey’s unlikely entry into professional bass fishing as a 14-year-old girl in Chicago

How fish stories shaped her love for public speaking and taught her to influence large (and skeptical!) audiences

The hidden difference between confidence and self-efficacy and why you need both

Building your skills: The four building blocks of self-efficacy and how you already use them (even if you don’t realize it)

How competence and confidence fuel each other in a “dynamic duo” for both public speaking and career growth

The transformative power of storytelling, including sharing vulnerable stories and the impact it has on relationship-building and influence

Practical strategies for handling nerves, reframing fear, and using feedback to accelerate your own communication growth

Why every role no matter your job description is a “sales” role rooted in authentic influence, not slick persuasion

The stark differences Mickey saw between learning in higher ed and the workplace, and what it means for lifelong learning and adaptability

Navigating transitions: leaving a high-profile academic post at midlife and finding new alignment with your values and purpose

You’ll leave this episode with a new perspective on confidence, actionable steps to build your self-efficacy, and some unforgettable fish tales that prove everyone has stories worth sharing, especially you.

Be sure to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com to get your free ebook, “Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers,” and register for our Formula for Public Speaking course. Remember: your voice has the power to change the world.

Connect with Mickey:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mickeyfitchcollins/

Website: https://www.learnit.com/mickey

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Have you ever left a meeting feeling like half your team understood you perfectly, while the other half looked completely lost? Why does strong communication click with some people but fall flat with others even when you’re saying the same thing? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I tackle exactly that question and share a crucial framework that has transformed my own communication style and helped hundreds of my coaching clients unlock breakthrough results at work.

I’m Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turned communication coach and today I’m revealing why the “one great style” approach to communication is outdated and what you should do instead. Drawing from Thomas Erikson’s “Surrounded by Idiots,” I introduce the four core color-coded communication styles Driver (red), Connector (yellow), Analyst (blue), and Stabilizer (green) and show how identifying and adapting to these preferences is the real secret to becoming a confident, effective communicator and leader.

This episode is all about practical skills, not theory. I break down each communication style with real-life examples from my days in the classroom and share why misfires between styles cause friction and misunderstandings. I explain what drives each type, what frustrates them, how they perceive other styles, and the small but powerful adjustments you can make to connect more effectively with anyone in the room.

Several points were raised, including:

Why your instinct to blame others for communication breakdowns is usually off-base

The significance of Erikson’s four-color communication model, and how to spot each style in action

The biggest myths about strong communication and why flexibility not perfection is key

Deep-dives into the motivations, pain points, and gifts of Drivers (reds), Connectors (yellows), Analysts (blues), and Stabilizers (greens)

Everyday strategies for leading and collaborating with each style, from email tweaks to one-on-one conversations

The hidden dangers when overlooked team members silently disagree and how to uncover real opinions before it’s too late

A practical, one-person, one-message assignment to practice speaking a “second language” on your team this week

The conversation focused on moving beyond self-awareness to skillful adaptation recognizing your own style is only the start. The real growth comes from shifting your communication to meet others where they are, while still remaining true to yourself. Tune in to learn why talking like you’re right but listening like you’re wrong can change not just your conversations, but your impact as a leader. I’ll walk you through actionable steps to use this framework immediately, no personality quizzes required.

Don’t forget to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com for your free ebook and details about my Forming for Public Speaking course. Looking for progress, not perfection let’s get fluent in all four communication “languages” together!
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