Speaking With Confidence

Have you ever felt completely prepared for a presentation, only to have your confidence evaporate the moment you step up to speak? If so, you’re not alone. In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we're tackling one of the most common and most frustrating experiences for anyone who speaks, performs, or competes in front of others: performance anxiety.

I'm Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turned communication coach, and today I’m joined by Dr. David Fish, a PhD in ethnomusicology, professional musician, and a leading authority on performance anxiety and mindfulness. David not only shared the stage with legendary names like Ella Fitzgerald and Little Richard, but he also had his own unforgettable “freeze” moment while performing with Sonny and Cher, a moment that sparked a lifelong quest to understand what really happens when nerves take over.

In our conversation, David explains the difference between confidence and performance anxiety, and why so many talented professionals, whether they’re in the spotlight or the boardroom, find their skills deserted at the crucial moment. We unpack the myths around just “thinking positive” or “calming down,” and dig into why these strategies often fall short when your internal bodyguard (the amygdala) decides there’s a threat and floods your system with adrenaline.

Here’s what we covered in this episode:

The difference between confidence and performance anxiety, and how even seasoned professionals can be caught off guard by nerves

Why common advice like “calm down” or “think positive” doesn’t work against adrenaline-fueled anxiety

The three factors that trigger performance anxiety, no matter your field or experience level

How to accept, not fight, your nervousness and why that leads to better performance

The importance of preparation, rituals, and controlling your environment (plus what to do when things don’t go as planned)

The role of mindful focus (“only go straight, don’t know”) in overcoming distractions and outside judgments

How to distinguish between excitement and anxiety, and why channeling energy the right way matters

The idea that public speaking is a performance, and why embracing that doesn’t mean being inauthentic

The value of bringing your core beliefs and values to the moment, especially when the stakes are high

Practical strategies for shifting self-talk and grounding yourself before you step up to speak

If you’ve ever wondered why your nerves sometimes get the best of you, or you’re searching for practical, compassionate tools to step into the spotlight with greater confidence, this episode offers wisdom, stories, and actionable guidance you can use right away. As always, remember: you’re not broken; performance anxiety is a perfectly human response. Accept it, focus on what matters, and keep showing up with courage

Connect with David:

Website: https://riseupeight.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/davidleefish/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Rise-Up-Eight/61584704705649/#

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/riseupeight8

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/@riseupeight

Book: https://a.co/d/0cyKBDvl

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Have you ever left a conference feeling like you made genuine connections, only to watch those relationships fizzle out after sending a follow-up email? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we tackle a frustrating and surprisingly common problem: why do so many conference follow-up emails fall flat, and how can you ensure yours actually build real relationships?

Today, I’m diving deep into the art of the conference follow-up specifically, why a generic “Great meeting you!” does more harm than good, and how to transform the way you reconnect after those face-to-face moments. We’ve all been there: you’ve spent hours building rapport, swapping stories, maybe even venting about bad coffee or laughing about a keynote that went long. But when it’s time to send the follow-up, it somehow collapses into the same stale template you’ve sent to a dozen other people. The result? Radio silence.

There’s no guest in this episode, it's just me, sharing the hard-earned lessons from my own experience as a communication coach and former college professor (and yes, from plenty of my own failed networking attempts). If you missed last week’s episode on the three-sentence fix for cold emails, I highly recommend checking that out, since what we’ll talk about today builds right on top of that foundation.

Here’s what you can expect from this episode:I’ll reveal the critical mistake everyone makes treating a warm conference contact just like a cold lead. I’ll walk you through the “continuation frame,” a powerful technique that ensures your follow-up picks up where you left off rather than starting over from zero. We’ll break down why referencing your actual conversation, not just the handshake, is the difference between being remembered and being ignored. You’ll learn how to craft a three-sentence email with the right kind of opening, a thoughtful delivery of what you promised, and an exit ramp that doesn’t pressure the other person.

By the end of our discussion, you’ll know:

Why most follow-up emails unintentionally say “goodbye” instead of “let’s keep building”

The real reason people don’t reply to generic follow-ups (it’s not what you think)

The three essential components of a compelling conference follow-up email

How to reference shared moments as social capital

What to do if you didn’t promise anything (and why never to fake it)

The timing “sweet spot” for your follow-up

How to turn every handshake into a real relationship by proving you listened, not just networked

I’ll also challenge you to review your last follow-up email and rewrite your opening sentence, so it proves you were actually present in the original conversation. That small shift is the whole game it takes you from being a stranger to someone who’s genuinely invested.

Listen in for practical tips that will transform how you connect after conferences and remember: your voice and your follow-up has the power to change the world.
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Have you ever wondered why it seems so hard to speak up and reclaim your voice as an adult, even though we were so unfiltered and fearless as kids? In today’s episode of Speaking with Confidence, we’re tackling that very question and digging into those internal stories and cultural messages that shape how we show up both on stage and in our everyday lives.

This episode is especially close to my heart, as it hits at the core of why I started this podcast: to help listeners build the kind of communication skills and confidence that lead to real results, not just professionally, but personally, too. Joining me is Stephanie Peirolo, a board-certified executive coach, celebrated storyteller featured on The Moth and NPR, and author of The Saint and the Drunk: A Guide to Making the Big Decisions in Your Life.

Throughout our conversation, Stephanie gets real about the myth that “some people are just born confident.” She shares her own deep stage fright (including throwing up in green rooms before major performances!) and opens up about how purpose and intention can transform even the most anxiety-inducing moments into opportunities for profound connection and healing. We discuss her pivotal experience on The Moth stage, how storytelling can be both freeing and healing, and how adults can rediscover their ‘inner knowing’ that deep sense of what’s right for them that so many of us learned to suppress.

Stephanie and I also dive into the ways our families, cultural backgrounds, and even gender shape the stories we tell ourselves about who gets to have a voice. We talk about boundaries, why they’re for you, not other people and tackle the double standards that women often face when speaking up at work or at home. Stephanie offers powerful, practical advice on how to stop over-functioning and start setting boundaries that support your authentic self.

Other highlights from the episode include:

Why passion matters more than early “talent” in writing or public speaking

How your internal narratives about your communication skills can help or hurt you

Managing anxiety on stage (even if you’re an old pro)

The healing power of sharing your truth, even when it’s hard

How generational and cultural messages decide who “deserves” to be heard

Spotting the difference between a personal shortcoming and a systemic issue

The importance of context, intention, and curiosity in creating connection—at work, at home, or with a stranger in an Uber

Strategies for reframing your definition of success (especially in the age of social media)

The ancient and modern wisdom of tuning into your inner knowing, and who really deserves influence in your life

If you want practical insights for reclaiming your voice, clearing out the stories that hold you back, and learning to trust yourself again, this episode delivers. Stephanie’s wisdom, warmth, and honesty make it a must-listen, whether you’re grappling with big life decisions or just want to show up more authentically in your daily conversations.

Thanks for tuning in, as always. Don’t forget to check out the show notes for links to Stephanie’s book, her Substack, and how you can connect with her for coaching or speaking. And remember your voice has the power to change the world.

Connect with Stephanie:

Website: https://www.speirolo.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/speirolo/

Substack: https://speirolo.substack.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/speirolo/#

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@speirolo

Book: https://a.co/d/04Ltuo3k

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Have you ever sent a cold email that disappeared into the ether, never to be answered and wondered what you did wrong? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I tackle that painfully common problem head-on and reveal the tiny but powerful shift that makes your outreach stand out from the delete pile.

As your host, I'm drawing from years as a college professor and communication coach, and I start by sharing one of the most frequent messages in my own inbox: “Can I pick your brain over coffee for 15 minutes?” If you’ve ever sent that kind of request or received it you already know how uphill the battle for a reply can be. The truth is, most people have overflowing inboxes and little time to give to vague asks. But there’s good news: you don't need to send the perfect message; you just need to be different from the rest.

There’s no guest this week, it's just me, guiding you through the concrete tactics and deeper mindset shifts that change how your emails land. I dig into the invisible factors that sabotage cold messages, from desperate undertones to the all-about-me approach that turns people off. Then, I introduce my Give First Formula, a simple, three-sentence structure that transforms your message from an ask to a value-driven exchange.

Here’s what you’ll hear in this episode:

Why typos and awkward phrasing aren’t the real reason your cold emails get ignored

The downside of clichéd openers like “I love your content” and “I’m a huge fan”

The psychology of email overload and why you’re competing with hundreds of other requests

Why “pick your brain” is vague, unfair, and guaranteed to get skipped

How to make your message about the recipient, not you

The three essential sentences of the Give First Formula: a value observation, a low-friction ask, and a genuine exit ramp

Concrete examples of ineffective and effective cold emails

The biggest traps people fall into like telling a long backstory, asking for too much too soon, and following up with “just checking in”

How to follow up in a way that adds value rather than nagging

Why structure, not talent or connections, is what gets you noticed and answered

Finally, I challenge you to take one cold email you’ve been holding onto and run it through the Give First Formula to see the impact for yourself. And I tease what’s coming next week: how to follow up with someone after you finally get a response or meeting, so you stay top-of-mind without becoming a forgotten business card.

If you want your voice to stand out and your outreach to get replies, this episode is for you.
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Have you ever wondered why we spend so much time teaching kids math and science, but not how to introduce ourselves, hold a conversation, or handle rejection? On this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we dive deep into the critical life skills that every young person needs but most are never formally taught.

I’m Tim Newman, your host and a communication coach who believes that real success comes from mastering soft skills like communication, storytelling, public speaking, and the confidence to show up authentically. Today, I’m joined by Rob Heller, founder of the BOOST Youth Alliance. Rob’s mission is to equip young people with the essential life skills that set them up for success in every area of life. He started BOOST when he couldn’t find a program that taught his son the lessons he knew were crucial so he built his own. Rob brings decades of entrepreneurial experience and a deep commitment to mentoring youth, making him the perfect guest to discuss why communication and resilience matter now more than ever.

In our conversation, we tackled the mistakes we make as parents when it comes to technology and the impact that screens and smartphones have on developing communication skills. Rob and I reminisced about how the world has changed with phones glued to our hands, it’s easier to lose out on face-to-face interactions and the benefits they bring. Rob shared how self-awareness is growing among today’s parents, but also that it’s a constant struggle to set boundaries around tech use.

We explored the difference between protecting young people and preparing them for the real world. Rob described how BOOST addresses not just people skills and character, but also building a healthy mindset giving kids practical tools to deal with setbacks, acknowledge their mistakes, and build true confidence. We also discussed why skills like accountability, resilience, and the ability to hold a simple conversation are the missing pieces in most academic programs.

During the episode, we covered:

The real reason communication skills are missing from most high school curricula

Rob’s journey building BOOST for his own family and now for countless others

The impact of screens and technology on developing essential life skills

How to set boundaries as parents (and model the right behavior ourselves)

Why accountability and apologizing quickly matter so much for building trust and confidence

The art of starting a conversation even for introverts

Why employers care so much more about soft skills than technical ones

Practical tips for greeting people, making eye contact, and remembering names

The science behind why connecting with others feels so good (hint: it’s the chemicals in your brain)

Tips for parents and educators to help young people practice these skills from an early age

How BOOST’s 26 core skills help kids prepare for life, not just for school

If you’ve ever wished your child or even yourself could confidently connect, communicate, and handle life’s curveballs with resilience, this episode is packed with insights and actionable advice. Rob’s work through BOOST is helping a generation get back to the basics, and we agree, these are the missing courses we all need.

To learn more about BOOST or connect with Rob, check out boostprogram.com, and don’t forget to grab his book, The Missing Course for Today’s Youth. And as always, if you want to overcome your own public speaking challenges, visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com for free resources and courses.

Let’s keep building confidence one conversation at a time!

Connect with Rob:

Website: https://boostprogram.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Boost_Program

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/boostkids

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/boost_program/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@boost_program

Book: https://a.co/0gKE15oT

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