Coaching for Leaders

Priya Parker: The Art of Fighting

Priya Parker is a facilitator, strategic advisor, bestselling author of The Art of Gathering, and executive producer and host of the New York Times podcast, Together Apart. Trained in the field of conflict resolution, she has spent 20 years guiding leaders and groups through complicated conversations about community, identity, and vision at moments of transition. She is the author of the new book, The Art of Fighting: The Transformative Power of Conflict (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

Often we assume that good leaders and good teams don’t fight. In this conversation, Priya tells us that, “Fighting is not the death of community. It is its lifeblood.” We explore how to turn conflict into progress.

Key Points

Even experts who handle group conflict often find it challenging, fearful, and unsettling.

Becoming a durable, sustainable group does not happen without a fight.

One of the biggest myths that hold leaders back is that “good” people and “good” groups don’t fight.

There’s a seniority caveat to conflict. Leaders often confuse what needs to be felt with what needs to be said.

It’s a lie to believe that “if only” one thing hadn’t happened that conflict would not have occurred. If it wasn’t that, it would have been something else.

Milestones, transitions, schedule changes, and celebrations are often triggering events for conflict. Instead of thinking, “This is the worst timing,” expect conflict at these times.

Resources Mentioned

The Art of Fighting: The Transformative Power of Conflict by Priya Parker (Amazon, Bookshop)*

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

How to Create Meaningful Gatherings, with Priya Parker (episode 395)

The Way Out of Major Conflict, with Amanda Ripley (episode 529)

How to Help Difficult Conversations Go Better, with Sheila Heen (episode 655)

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Sebastian Wernicke: Data Inspired

For over 20 years, Sebastian Wernicke has guided organizations around the world to harness the power of data and AI to achieve breakthrough transformation. His three acclaimed TED Talks have reached over 5 million viewers. He is the author of Data Inspired: Building an Organizational Culture of Inquiry for Lasting Transformation (Amazon, Bookshop)*.

We all have more access to data than ever. That means we should be making better decisions than we ever have before, yes? If only it were that simple. In this conversation, Sebastian and I explore who you can actually use all that data to make better decisions.

Key Points

Data initiatives don’t necessarily fail, but often do something worse: make your organization stay the same.

Better data does not automatically result in better decisions. An organization also needs the cultural maturity to be swayed by the data.

Nobody makes decisions that look like the logical decision-making processes we see in books. In addition, the emotions we put into decisions are actually critically helpful.

During uncertainty, more data tends to make us more uncertain. Once we’ve decided something, we tend to discount contrary data.

Decisions are rarely made entirely by one person and heavily influenced by the team or organization’s culture.

Leaders can help integrate helpful data by saying things like, “I’m looking for data to tell me where I am wrong.”

Bringing in structure such as written notes or memos before or at the start of meetings can help data be considered before we discount it.

Resources Mentioned

Data Inspired: Building an Organizational Culture of Inquiry for Lasting Transformation (Amazon, Bookshop)*

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

How to Involve Stakeholders in Decisions, with Eric Pliner (episode 586)

How to Change People’s Minds, with Michael McQueen (episode 676) – contradictory data not swaying people

How to Lead Engaging Meetings, with Jess Britt (episode 721)

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Stephanie Evergreen: Build a Data Culture

Stephanie Evergreen is a data visualization and design expert. She has trained future data nerds worldwide through keynotes and workshops, for Fortune 500 clients like MasterCard and Facebook and mission-aligned clients like the United Nations, the Boys and Girls Club, AARP, and The Alaska Native Tribal Health Consortium. She has three books and a popular blog on data visualization.

Data: we’ve all got tons of access to it these days. But perhaps almost too much – how do we actually make sense of it and then communicate clearly with it? In this conversation, Stephanie and I explore how a leader can best use data to make their message land.

Key Points

Many of us are overwhelmed by access to data, but lots of leaders find that much of the data isn’t actionable for increasing performance.

Because dashboards attempt to answer many questions, they often result in doing a poor job of highlighting a key message or insight.

Instead of showing every data point you’ve ever collected, use smart formatting to highlight the single thing your team needs to know.

Decide in advance what the key message of a slide, chart, or presentation should be. Then, design for that clear message.

Answer the burning question that your audience is likely asking.

Leaders set the tone for transparency with data that isn’t good news. Encourage and reward hearing the honest story to establish a culture where truth is shared and addressed.

Resources Mentioned

Build a Data Culture by Stephanie Evergreen

Why Data-Packed Meetings Miss the Mark (And What to Do About It) by Stephanie Evergreen

Related Episodes

Performance Measurement That Gets Results, with Stacey Barr (episode 419)

The Way to Influence Executives, with Nancy Duarte (episode 450)

How to Respond When You Don’t Have Resources, with Laura West (episode 699)

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Today is the FINAL day to apply for the Coaching for Leaders Academy.

Are you at an inflection point? Apply to the Academy by the of the day today, Friday, September 11th.

Dave shares four words that detail what’s different about leaders who consistently get better – and even THRIVE – and those who don’t.

Are you at an inflection point? Apply to the Coaching for Leaders Academy by Friday, September 11th.