The Balance Theory

You do not have to chase what is meant for you. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is step back... and let it come to you.

In this episode of The Balance Theory, Erika sits down with Margarita Nazarenko, author of Unbothered: The Art of Letting Go to Find Yourself and host of the BEING HER podcast, to unpack what it means to detach. Margarita shares how she moved from anxious attachment to feeling secure and why anxious and avoidant attachment styles stem from the same fear. Detachment is not about becoming cold or pretending you do not care. It is about letting go of others' perceptions so you can live as yourself.

If you have ever caught yourself thinking:

"Why hasn't he replied yet?"
"I am doing everything right, so why is nothing working?"
"What did I do wrong?"
"I care so much about what people think of me."
"I am always doing everything for everyone."

Then this episode is for you. Erika and Margarita cover:

• How Margarita went from anxious attachment to feeling secure and confident
• Why chasing approval and validation pushes away what you want
• The 4 steps to stop abandoning yourself, including the 60 minute hack
• How to identify whose approval you are chasing and why
• What being unbothered really means and why it is not being avoidant
• The good girl tax and the cost of always being useful but never happy
• How to reinvent yourself and handle others' reactions
• Friendship circles and family proximity zones that ease relationship pressure
• A writing exercise to separate reality from the story in your head
• Why motherhood brings new challenges and what an unbothered man looks like

When you stop chasing and start choosing yourself, you make room for everything you want to find you.

Filmed at Pivotal Conversations Studios
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SPONSORS
Thank you to the sponsors who made today's episode possible:

🤖 GRANOLA: Try Granola for FREE - Go to https://www.granola.ai/BALANCE and try it on your next call.

🍳 CARAWAY: Visit ⁠https://www.carawayhome.com/BALANCE⁠ or use code 'BALANCE' at checkout to take an additional 10% off your next purchase

🪥 OLLIE: Go to https://olliesmile.com and enter code 'BALANCE' for 10% off your order!

📚 WALDEN: Take the first step and learn at a pace that works for you. Visit https://www.waldenu.edu/

CONNECT WITH OUR GUEST
📸 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/margarita.nazarenko
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@Margarita.Nazarenko

TIME STAMPS
(00:00) Introduction
(05:40) This Is WHY I wasn't getting anything I wanted
(07:55) What did you have to stop doing?
(8:26) 4 steps to stop abandoning yourself
(16:03) Working out whose approval you're chasing
(18:14 ) How to be unbothered
(19:37) Anxious v Avoidant attachment styles
(22:49) Good girl tax
(25:58) How do I change who I've always been?
(33:15) What responsibility do we have to be considerate of others?
(35:25) How do you deal with fall out with others when you change?
(37:50) Try these 'proximity zones' with family
(40:28) 4 zones in your friendships to learn
(42:35) Start here to become unbothered/detached today
(50:05) Why does motherhood bother you?
(52:29) Should you teach kids to be unbothered?
(55:37) This surprised me the most
(57:35) What would an unbothered man look like?
( 1:04:22) Would you use an AI Twin?

WHO AM I?
I’m Erika, an Australian living in Dubai, a mum and the creator and host of this podcast. After almost a decade in law, I’ve stepped into a new chapter centred on what I love - helping people understand themselves, grow and build lives that feel aligned. As someone with big ambitions, I’m passionate about pursuing what matters and to do so, we need to create our own lives intentionally. This channel is a space for honest conversations, curiosity and practical tools to support that journey. Welcome - I’m glad you’re here.

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You finally get a moment to yourself… but you’re too exhausted to do anything with it.

The workout you wanted to do. The book you keep meaning to read. The habit you promised you’d stick to. They get pushed to tomorrow, and somehow tomorrow keeps looking exactly the same.

If you’ve been thinking, “I have no time for myself,” “Why can’t I stay consistent?” or “How does everyone else manage to do it all?” this episode is for you.

I know what it feels like to finish the day with nothing left for yourself. To be busy all day, but still feel like you haven’t made time for the things that matter to you.

In this solo episode, I’m sharing six simple strategies that helped me break that cycle—and could help you feel more energised, use your time more intentionally, and finally make room for yourself.

If you’re struggling with time management, building habits, staying consistent, or finding the motivation to exercise and work towards your goals, this is a practical place to start. You don’t need a perfect routine or a complete life overhaul. You need a starting point that fits your actual life.

You deserve more than getting through the day and hoping you’ll have energy left over.

Download the free workbook HERE to follow along

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TIME STAMPS

(00:00) Introduction
(02:07) Strategy 1
(04:40) Strategy 2
(09:32) Strategy 3
(16:56) Strategy 4
(20:18) Strategy 5
(25:02) Strategy 6
(27:07) BONUS Tip (life changing)

WHO AM I?
I’m Erika, an Australian living in Dubai, a mum and the creator and host of this podcast. After almost a decade in law, I’ve stepped into a new chapter centred on what I love - helping people understand themselves, grow and build lives that feel aligned. As someone with big ambitions, I’m passionate about pursuing what matters and to do so, we need to create our own lives intentionally. This channel is a space for honest conversations, curiosity and practical tools to support that journey. Welcome - I’m glad you’re here.

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She built a brand from nothing at 22 with no financial backing and an industry full of doubt... and fully backed her self anyway. This kind of confidence is inspirational, so turn the volume up for this one!

In this episode of The Balance Theory, Erika sits down with Sammy Robinson, founder of One Mile and content creator of over a decade, to unpack what it actually takes to build something on your own when the people around you are unsure. This is not a masterclass on starting a fashion brand. It is the honest story of what confidence, risk and burnout look like behind a business that looks like it has it all together.

If you have ever caught yourself thinking:

"Am I crazy for wanting to do this differently"

"Everyone around me is being realistic but it feels wrong to me"

"I don't want to let the people who rely on me down"

Then this episode is for you. In this conversation, Erika and Sammy cover:

• Why Sammy backed herself at 22 with no financial backing and no one telling her it was a good idea

• The real reason she chose to build a brand instead of buying property in her early twenties

• What it actually felt like to be underestimated as a young founder

• Why she believes staying a little delusional is necessary when you are building something from nothing

• The moment she realised she had completely burnt herself out running the brand and the social side at once

• The health scare that forced her to put herself first for the first time in her career

• The daily boundaries and non negotiables she now protects no matter what

• Why she has almost stopped capturing content and what that says about where she is at in her life

• How she thinks about authenticity, AI and standing out in a saturated creator economy

• What success actually means to her now that she has built the financial freedom she once worked for

Wherever you are in your own journey right now, Sammy's story is proof that you do not need everyone's permission to start and you do not have to lose yourself to build something real.

Filmed at Pivotal Conversations Studios

@pivotalconversations

Book a session: https://www.pivotalconversations.ai

SPONSORS

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CONNECT

Instagram - Sammy Robinson

One Mile - Link to One Mile with Code “ERIKA15” for 15%

YouTube

TIME STAMP

(00:00) Introduction(03:35) High school Sammy and her early sense of self(09:47) What it felt like when her early YouTube videos went viral(12:58) Did she ever have to play a character online(14:14) Starting One Mile at 22(10:59) How she landed on the vision for the brand(18:40) Betting her savings on One Mile instead of buying property(20:06) Being underestimated as a 22 year old founder(22:21 ) The reality of the first 12 months running a business(24:10 ) What made her decide to open a bricks and mortar store(26:00) What opening stores unlocked in her as a leader(27:44) Learning to trust her team and let go of control(32:09) Is she naturally more Type A or Type B(33:35) How she actually makes decisions, intuition versus logic(36:50) Her advice for anyone wanting to start a personal brand(39:14) Evolving faster than the business and the cost of carrying it all(42:00) Turning 30 and taking the year to travel(43:20) What success actually means to her now(46:49) The health scare that forced her to slow down(49:22) The boundaries and daily rules she lives by now(51:13) Her one non-negotiable for a good day(57:15) Reflecting on her 20s in one word(59:08) How content creation has changed for her after a decade(1:01:34) How AI is changing the creator economy(1:03:16) How to be authentic online without overthinking it(1:08:20) Was there ever a day she wanted to quit(1:09:05) Her ten-year vision for One Mile(1:11:14) Who inspires her

WHO AM I?
I’m Erika, an Australian living in Dubai, a mum and the creator and host of this podcast. After almost a decade in law, I’ve stepped into a new chapter centred on what I love - helping people understand themselves, grow and build lives that feel aligned. As someone with big ambitions, I’m passionate about pursuing what matters and to do so, we need to create our own lives intentionally. This channel is a space for honest conversations, curiosity and practical tools to support that journey. Welcome - I’m glad you’re here.

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LET’S BE FRIENDS
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This is a conversation about confidence like you've never heard before.

In this episode of The Balance Theory, Erika sits down with Alexis Fernandez, a leading performance coach, speaker, and author whose work sits at the intersection of neuroscience, mindset, and high performance. She also is the host of the Do You F*cking Mind podcast. Today they unpack what real self assurance actually looks like once you take away the job title, other people's expectations and how you look.

This is not a pep talk about ignoring everyone and doing whatever you want. It is an honest conversation about where the line sits between healthy care and living through someone else's eyes, and what it takes to move it.

If you have ever caught yourself thinking:

"I know they will be disappointed if I do this."
"Why do I feel like I have to prove I am a good person?"
"I care more about what they think of me than what I think of me."
"Who am I if I take away my job and what I have achieved?"
"I want to feel like myself again."

Then this episode is for you. In this conversation, Erika and Alexis cover:

- The red flags that your sense of self is not as grounded as you think
- How to know who you are without your job, your achievements or your relationships
- Why becoming more confident often means letting the people you love down and how to do it kindly
- The difference between healthy love and love that only shows up when you meet expectations
- How to build confidence that does not depend on how you look or what people say
- Whether you can accept yourself and still want to change how you look
- How to hold onto the version of you that you became when life changes around you
- Why rock bottom is often where the biggest changes start
- What social media and scrolling are doing to your focus and memory, and how to reverse it
- How to stay ambitious when your capacity changes, including motherhood and burnout
- What actually happens to the brain in pregnancy and postpartum

You do not need anyone's permission to become who you already are.

Filmed at Pivotal Conversations Studios
@pivotalconversations
Book a session


SPONSORS

Thank you to the sponsors who made today's episode possible:

🏠 TUMBLE - Machine Washable Rugs, Made Better. For a limited time only, our listeners get 10% off + free shipping tumbleliving.com/BALANCE #Tumble #ad

🍳 CARAWAY - I've loved using Caraway for 2+ years! Visit Carawayhome.com/BALANCE or use code 'BALANCE' at checkout to take an additional 10% off your next purchase.

CONNECT
📸 Instagram
🎙️ Do You F*cking Mind podcast

TIME STAMPS
(00:00) Introduction(02:41) Why Alexis studied neuroscience(06:06) How the DYFM podcast format came to be(07:59) Tough love vs tearing yourself down(11:00) Why people at rock bottom make the biggest changes(17:57) Alexis's worst year and the one way ticket to Paris(21:48) Holding onto who you became when you move home(25:10) The red flags your sense of self is not grounded(28:56) Knowing who you are without your job title(32:46) Why becoming yourself means letting people down(38:53) Can you accept yourself and still change how you look?(46:42) How Alexis feels about ageing(51:45) Motherhood, fertility and finding out about twins(59:28) Has motherhood changed her ambition?(1:01:41) When your capacity changes but your ambition does not(1:08:38) What happens to the brain in pregnancy and postpartum(1:12:21) What social media is doing to your focus(1:17:45) Is the doomscrolling brain reversible?(1:21:11) Kids, screens and self regulation(1:26:43) Would Alexis ever use an AI version of herself?(1:30:44) Can content creators ever be fully present?
WHO AM I?
I’m Erika, an Australian living in Dubai, a mum and the creator and host of this podcast. After almost a decade in law, I’ve stepped into a new chapter centred on what I love - helping people understand themselves, grow and build lives that feel aligned. As someone with big ambitions, I’m passionate about pursuing what matters and to do so, we need to create our own lives intentionally. This channel is a space for honest conversations, curiosity and practical tools to support that journey. Welcome - I’m glad you’re here.

📸 ⁠⁠My personal IG ⁠⁠

LET’S BE FRIENDS
🌍⁠⁠ ⁠Sign Up to Our Newsletter⁠

📝 ⁠Free EPISODE CURATOR QUIZ⁠

⭐ ⁠⁠Substack⁠⁠
📸 ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠
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🧡 This description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. Thank you for your support!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You are allowed to let go of the rules and routines that no longer fit your healthiest self, and this episode might just be the permission slip and re-evaluation you've been waiting for.

In this episode of The Balance Theory, Erika sits down with Dominique Elissa, founder of Selfdom, for a conversation that moves through pregnancy, body image, grief and gratitude, and keeps landing on the same question: what does it actually mean to be well when your body, your routine and your world are all changing at once? This is not another conversation about doing more, optimising harder or adding one more rule to your routine. It is an honest look at why flexibility, not discipline, is what actually makes you well.

If you have ever caught yourself thinking:
"I am doing all the right things and it still is not enough"
"My body is changing and none of this feels like mine anymore"
"I want to trust what my body is telling me instead of following another rule"
"I know gratitude is supposed to help, but some days it feels impossible to even try"

Then this episode is for you. In this conversation, Erika and Dominique cover:

- Why being told she wasn't "good enough" for a modelling job changed the way Dominique saw her own body
- The moment Dominique realised her wellness rules were about control, not about actually feeling good
- How pregnancy is reshaping her relationship with discipline, structure and flexibility
- Why rigidity can cap your life experience more than it protects you
- Grieving a parent while building a family of your own
- What Dominique wants her children to know about their Nonna
- Why gratitude only works when it is practised consistently, not just in the hardest moments
- A simple explanation of cycle syncing and why most women are never taught it
- How to stop wellness tracking from becoming another source of pressure
- Whether a content creator can ever really be present, and where Dominique draws the line

Wherever you are in your own version of change, whether that is your body, your habits or your grief, this conversation is proof the flexible path can be the healthiest one too.

SPONSORS:

🤖 Try Granola for FREE - Go to https://www.granola.ai/BALANCE and try it on your next call.

🧑‍⚕️ Rula patients typically pay $15 per session when using insurance. Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at https://www.rula.com/BALANCE #rulapod

Filmed at Pivotal Conversations Studios
@pivotalconversations https://www.instagram.com/pivotalconversations
Book a session: https://www.pivotalconversations.ai

CONNECT
📸 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- https://www.instagram.com/dominiquelissa/
🌎 Website - https://www.selfdom.au - For 20% off use the code “BALANCETHEORY”

TIMESTAMP
(00:00) Introduction
(07:14) What did you think your future would look like?
(18:09) They cancelled my job because my belly wasn’t “big enough”
(20:31) Having anchors that make you, you
(21:31) Wellness habits that are more about control than a benefit
(25:04) How do you manage your self-talk?
(26:59) How has pregnancy changed the way you grieve your mum?
(30:19) What would you want your kids to know about their Nonna?
(31:16) Everyone should ask their mums this
(36:43) Does gratitude actually work in your hardest moments?
(42:49) Cycle syncing: What you need to know
(51:36) The role of intuition when you’re pregnant
(56:15) Can a content creator ever fully be present?
(58:47) Will you post your child on social media?
(1:00:22) What does wellness mean to you today?

WHO AM I?
I’m Erika, an Australian living in Dubai, a mum and the creator and host of this podcast. After almost a decade in law, I’ve stepped into a new chapter centred on what I love - helping people understand themselves, grow and build lives that feel aligned. As someone with big ambitions, I’m passionate about pursuing what matters and to do so, we need to create our own lives intentionally. This channel is a space for honest conversations, curiosity and practical tools to support that journey. Welcome - I’m glad you’re here.

📸 ⁠⁠My personal IG ⁠⁠

LET’S BE FRIENDS
🌍⁠⁠ ⁠Sign Up to Our Newsletter⁠

📝 ⁠Free EPISODE CURATOR QUIZ⁠

⭐ ⁠⁠Substack⁠⁠
📸 ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠
📱⁠⁠Tiktok⁠⁠

🧡 This description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. Thank you for your support!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices