The Dad Edge Podcast

Gary John Bishop is the New York Times bestselling author behind Unfuk Yourself* and Stop Doing That Sht*, with seven books and millions of copies sold, and his new release Now What out this month. In this episode Larry opens the doors to an exclusive Q&A Gary did inside the Dad Edge Business Boardroom Brotherhood, where business owners brought him their real, unfiltered questions.
Three men bring their hardest challenges to the table: grief and a 20-year marriage at a crossroads, the daily collapse between what you plan and what you actually do, and the fear of losing a business that follows you home to your kids. If you're a business owner who says one thing and does another, or who's been quietly sacrificing family for a fear you haven't named, this conversation will hit you where you live.
 
Timeline Summary
[1:02] – Larry introduces this exclusive Boardroom Q&A and why he brings in high level guests monthly
[3:30] – Gary is introduced as the bestselling author of seven books and a friend since 2018
[5:38] – Slade opens with losing his father, rebuilding a career, and a 20-year marriage at a crossroads
[8:20] – Gary challenges the idea that you lose anything when someone dies
[8:57] – Your life as a conversational domain and why your father still exists inside it
[13:12] – The question that changes a marriage: what are the conversations actually about?
[16:02] – Why calling his dad a "degenerate gambler" was costing Slade more than he knew
[18:35] – Alan asks how to stay focused when the day falls apart by 10am
[20:39] – The real issue is integrity: you say and then you don't do
[21:23] – Would you trust a man who never keeps his word? You're doing it to yourself
[24:17] – Gary doubles his revenue target for no reason other than he said he would
[29:26] – You're not detaching from emotion, you're recognizing you're attached to it
[31:14] – Blake on the fear that not answering the phone will cost him his business
[33:26] – Every company is organized around the fears of its founder
[37:39] – "This is not appropriate to this space" and how to shut work off at home
[45:05] – Ciprian asks how to stop building the present on a broken past
[49:01] – Nobody cut you off in traffic: how automatic language creates your world
[53:04] – Husserl's bracketing: set the story aside and be in wonder of what's there
 
5 Key Takeaways
Your Life Is a Conversational Domain — The people you've lost still exist in the conversations you have and the way you speak about them. Locate them somewhere that nurtures you instead of somewhere labeled loss.
Integrity Is Honoring Your Word — Integrity isn't morality, it's treating what you say like it matters. If you routinely say and then don't do, you've trained yourself to be unreliable to yourself.
Your Business Runs On Your Fear — Every company is organized around the fears of its founder. If you're taking calls at the dinner table, look at what you're actually committed to versus what you say you're committed to.
The Language Is Creating the World — Calling something a struggle instead of a challenge, or your father a degenerate instead of a man who gambled, isn't description. It's construction, and you'll live inside whatever you build.
Bracket the Story and Declare Something New — You don't have to fix the past. Set it aside, declare who you are right now, and ask what that person would obviously do next.
 
Links & Resources
Episode shownotes — https://thedadedge.com/1504
Join the Dad Edge Alliance — https://thedadedge.com/join
Dad Edge Boardroom Goal Setting Intensive — https://thedadedge.com/goals
 
Enjoyed This Episode?
If Gary's line about every company being organized around the fears of its founder made you sit up, sit with it a while. Send this to a business owner who's been sacrificing his family for a fear he hasn't named yet, and ask yourself where you say one thing and do another. If the show keeps delivering, follow, rate, and leave a review so more men can find these conversations.

Gary John Bishop is the New York Times bestselling author behind Unfuk Yourself* and Stop Doing That Sht*, whose books have sold over 4.5 million copies and whose audiobooks alone have topped 2 million. Making his sixth appearance on the show, the Scottish philosopher and personal development author joins Larry to break down his newest book, Now What, and challenge the entire premise of self-help.
This conversation gets into why chasing the next fix keeps you stuck, how your old solutions quietly become your current problems, and why self-invention beats self-improvement for good. If you're a dad who's done all the work, read all the books, and still catches himself asking why life feels the same, this one will reframe how you see time, identity, and being present with your kids.
 
Timeline Summary
[1:02] – Gary returns for his sixth appearance and the "Larry and Gary Show" reunion
[3:13] – The line that started it all: solving your life instead of living in it
[5:23] – Why the book slapped Gary around as he wrote it and questioned everything he knew
[6:38] – Realizing most of what we call fulfillment is actually just relief
[8:03] – Now is not a time, now is a place, and now is eternal, but you're not
[11:28] – How Gary scrapped a finished manuscript and rewrote the guts in 30 days
[14:20] – The difference between having knowledge of something and truly knowing it
[22:12] – How old solutions become current problems: work ethic turning into workaholism
[27:03] – Larry on his son's graduation and why he felt joy instead of regret
[29:52] – The meerkat in the cathedral and why context is your one true superpower
[32:16] – Alan Watts on standing in a river with the past and future always here
[36:13] – Self-invention over self-improvement and why the "self" isn't broken
[41:20] – Declaring who you are as accomplished and letting it call you forward
[48:00] – What to do when the people closest to you resist the new version of you
[53:03] – Why we prefer the certainty of misery over the uncertainty of joy
[1:00:26] – The simplest way to teach kids this thinking through better questions
 
5 Key Takeaways
Stop Solving, Start Living — Most people spend their whole lives fixing the problem in front of their face, then wonder why relief never comes. A life you create still has problems, but they're the right ones.
Old Solutions Become New Problems — The job, the relationship, the work ethic you built to fix an old pain often becomes the very thing troubling you now. Recognizing that pattern is how you stop repeating it.
Context Is Your Superpower — You can't always change what's happening, but you can shift the context you hold it in. Mandela sat in the same cell for years and chose to experience it as a life of service.
Self-Invention Beats Self-Improvement — You aren't a broken, fixed thing that needs better habits. Through language you can declare who you are right now and let that identity call new actions out of you.
Teach Kids to Question, Not to Comply — Instead of correcting kids, ask them where they heard that, what they're making it mean, and what else it could mean. "Now what?" asked honestly and repeatedly shifts any story.
 
Links & Resources
Episode page and all links — https://thedadedge.com/1503
Join the Dad Edge Alliance — https://thedadedge.com/join
Dad Edge Boardroom Goal Setting Intensive — https://thedadedge.com/goals
Now What by Gary John Bishop — available wherever books are sold
Gary John Bishop's website — https://garyjohnbishop.com
Follow Gary John Bishop on Instagram — https://instagram.com/garyjohnbishop
Follow Gary John Bishop on TikTok — https://tiktok.com/@garyjohnbishop 
 
Enjoyed This Episode?
If Gary's idea that "now is a place, not a time" cracked something open for you, don't let it stop at a listen. Send this episode to a dad who's done all the work and still feels stuck, and try asking your kids one of Gary's questions this week. If the show keeps delivering for you, follow, rate, and leave a review so more fathers can find these conversations.

Rock Thomas is a serial entrepreneur, motivational speaker, and personal development teacher whose 7.5-minute story about his father has been viewed by over 125 million people and credited with changing thousands of lives. The youngest of seven kids raised on a farm by a cold, duty-bound father, he channeled that pain into decades of overachievement before spending over $2 million on his own healing and building a body of work on breaking generational trauma.
This episode gets into what happens when a boy grows up chasing a father's approval that never comes, and how that wound quietly shapes marriage, friendship, and the way you show up as a dad. If you are a father wrestling with your own childhood, questioning whether you're doing a good job, or trying to break a cycle you inherited, this conversation will hit home.
 
Timeline Summary
[1:02] – Larry shares how a coach showed him Rock's video at the Dad Edge Summit and it moved him to tears
[2:14] – Rock explains how his 7.5-minute story with Goal Cast reached 125 million people and stopped people from taking their lives
[3:00] – The origin of the wound: a young boy craving a distant German father's approval
[4:20] – Broken arm, "suck it up," and the trauma that drove decades of overworking
[5:16] – Why Rock reframes the David Goggins "stay hard" model as pain in disguise
[6:08] – The empty, hollow heart behind the boats, cars, and houses
[7:07] – Rock's mission to be the one who breaks the generational cycle
[7:28] – The football day: waking up excited, and the moment his spirit broke
[9:53] – Larry describes his own absent father and running into him in a coffee shop at 30
[12:06] – Larry's vow to play with his kids 300 days a year after watching Rock's video
[18:22] – How the father wound showed up in Rock's friendships and marriages through self-sabotage
[23:00] – The hockey parking lot: leaving before the other kids to please his father
[24:14] – Why Rock spent over $2 million on therapy, mentors, and personal development
[28:52] – The real win isn't the home run, it's a dad in the stands saying "that's my boy"
[30:25] – Larry shows a video of his 17-year-old son and the dad he's becoming
[33:12] – Rock on the ego, the amygdala, and the voice of doubt keeping men stuck
[35:07] – The "I used to... but now" method for rewiring your identity one small shift at a time
[42:26] – Why big hairy goals backfire and how tiny wins harness dopamine and the RAS
 
5 Key Takeaways
Kids Want Connection, Not Trophies — Overachievement can look like success while masking an empty heart. What children actually crave is to be seen, felt, and heard, not provided for from a distance.
The Wound Shapes Every Relationship — An unhealed father wound quietly leaks into marriage and friendship through self-sabotage and distrust. Naming the pattern is the first step to stopping it.
Break the Cycle On Purpose — You can be the one person in your family line who chooses differently. Doing the work now means your kids inherit the healing instead of the wound.
Change Your Identity One "I Used To" At a Time — When a negative thought surfaces, catch it and say "I used to... but now" followed by a tiny new action. Small wins trigger dopamine and reprogram your subconscious over time.
Small Goals Beat Big Hairy Goals — Massive goals trip your survival brain into fear of failure. Micro-commitments slip past that alarm and let your reticular activating system pull you toward the person you want to be.
 
Links & Resources
Podcast Shownotes — https://thedadedge.com/1502
The Dad Edge Alliance — https://thedadedge.com/join
The Dad Edge Business Boardroom Brotherhood — https://thedadedge.com/goals
 
Enjoyed This Episode?
If Rock's story about that one football morning hit you the way it hit Larry, don't keep it to yourself. Text this episode to a dad who's carrying his own father wound, or to a friend who's chasing approval he'll never get. And if this show keeps showing up for you, follow, rate, and leave a review so more fathers can find it.

Larry Hagner and Joe sit down for a Wednesday Q&A the day after Larry's 51st birthday, and this one goes deep on marriage repair. Nick brought a raw, real question to the room: his wife has finally said she's willing to try to fix things and go to counseling, and he's scared. Scared to hope. Scared she doesn't mean it. Scared he'll lose himself in the process of trying to save the relationship.
What follows is one of those conversations that only happens when the guys in the room have actually lived it. Joe opens up about being what he calls a three-time marriage loser and a one-time marriage big winner, and he doesn't dress it up. He blew up three marriages before he learned the thing that changed everything: when you take your wife as your bride, you inherit all of her wounds, even the ones her father put there, even the ones you didn't create. Your job isn't to fix only the damage you did. Your job is to become sensitive to all of it, so she finally feels safe enough to lower the shields.
Then Larry brings in two tools that shift the whole frame. The first is vision, fast-forwarding the tape to a year from now and asking your spouse what you'd both be celebrating, because whatever we focus on grows and whatever we resist persists. The second is forgiveness, and here Larry shares the framework Father Stephen Gadberry gave him: forgiveness isn't a single conversation, it's a plant. You water it, you don't overwater it, and as it grows you keep pruning it. You forgive but you never fully forget, so you keep coming back to the conversation with curiosity instead of an attack.
If you're a man trying to rebuild trust in a marriage that's been hard for years, or you're carrying resentment you don't know how to put down, this episode gives you a real place to start. It's about consistency when you don't feel like it, owning wounds you didn't cause, and building a vision worth walking toward together.
 
Timeline Summary
[1:02] Larry opens the Wednesday Q&A the day after turning 51, and shares why his 50s beat his 40s
[1:19] The July birthday promotion breakdown: signed book, patience course, marriage course, and 50 conversation starters
[2:34] Joe comes on and speaks from the heart about getting a front row seat to Larry's last decade
[3:43] Nick asks his question after his wife agreed to try repairing the relationship and start counseling
[4:26] Larry points Nick back to the consistency and brotherhood that softened his wife in the first place
[5:30] Why real repair takes years not months, and why you keep going even without visible results
[6:19] Joe introduces himself as a three time marriage loser and one time big winner
[7:12] Nick admits he's responsible for about 90% of his wife's wounds, and Joe says he owns all of them
[8:11] The wisdom Joe was given: you inherit the wounds her father and others put in her heart
[9:01] Why women go into self preservation mode and how shields only drop when they feel safe
[10:02] Joe shares how his tone of voice was unknowingly triggering Ivy's father wounds
[10:54] Larry names Nick's real fear, that his wife is only saying the words to keep things civil
[15:00] Joe offers to talk with Nick personally about forgiveness and what it is and isn't
[16:06] Larry sets up the Father Stephen Gadberry forgiveness episode and who Gadberry is
[17:07] The vision exercise: fast forward to July 7th next year and ask what you'd be celebrating
[19:25] The forgiveness-as-a-plant framework: plant the seed, water it right, and keep pruning it
[23:49] Larry drops the line that lands hardest: what you criticize metastasizes, what you affirm multiplies
[24:38] Larry's real example of praising his oldest son over text and watching the good behavior grow
 
Five Key Takeaways
When you marry someone, you inherit all of their wounds, even the ones you didn't cause and the ones their parents left behind. Your job isn't to address only the damage you're responsible for. It's to become sensitive to all of it so she feels safe.
Real repair is built on consistency, not intensity. If things have been hard for three years, they won't turn around in three months, so you keep showing up and doing the work even when you don't feel like it and even when you don't see the softening yet.
Women stay guarded when they're in self preservation mode. The shields only come down when they feel safe with you around all of their wounds, so lead differently around the walls even when you didn't build them.
Stop fighting over the past and build a shared vision instead. Ask your spouse what you'd both be celebrating a year from now, because whatever you resist persists and whatever you focus on grows.
Forgiveness is a process, not a single conversation. Think of it like a plant you water, protect, and prune over time. You forgive but you never fully forget, so keep returning to the conversation with curiosity instead of an attack.
 
Links & Resources
Shownotes for this episode — https://thedadedge.com/1501
Join the Dad Edge Alliance (July promotion: signed book, patience course, marriage course, 50 conversation starters) — https://thedadedge.com/join
How to Forgive Someone Without Letting Them Off the Hook featuring Father Stephen Gadberry — https://thedadedge.com/how-to-forgive-someone-without-letting-them-off-the-hook-featuring-father-stephen-gadberry/
 
Closing
Nick came into this call scared to hope, and by the end he'd shown he was already doing the work: leading with vision, talking about letting old habits die, thinking in terms of pruning the plant instead of tearing it down. That's the whole thing right there. You don't rebuild a marriage by beating down the resentment. You build it by owning the wounds, staying consistent when it's hard, and affirming the good things you want to see multiply. If your marriage has been in a hard season, take Joe's challenge to heart, own all of it, and take Larry's, cast a vision worth walking toward together. Go out and live legendary.

My guest is Caitlin V, a sexologist and relationship coach who started out as a sexual health researcher and policy analyst before realizing that real change doesn't happen in research papers. It happens in honest conversations between real people. She's the host of Good Sex on HBO Max, her YouTube channel has reached hundreds of millions of people, and she's become one of the leading voices in men's sexual health, helping guys overcome erectile dysfunction, performance anxiety, premature ejaculation, and the isolation that comes with those struggles.
This conversation went places I didn't expect. Caitlin explains why the biggest roadblock in a couple's sex life isn't your partner, it's the gap between your expectations and reality. She breaks down why "why can't we have more sex" is almost never about sex, what women are actually attracted to in a man (the Indiana University smell study blew my mind), and why the way you do anything is the way you do everything. I also got personal about my own marriage, including why I quit porn years ago and the one question I asked my wife in our mudroom three months ago that changed how we think about intimacy.
If you and your wife have slipped into roommate mode, if the conversation about sex feels impossible to start, or if you want to rebuild attraction and connection after years of kids, schedules, and busyness, this episode is your roadmap back.
 
Timeline Summary
[1:02] Larry opens with an adult content disclaimer and celebrates episode 1500 landing on his 51st birthday after 11 years
[3:00] The single biggest roadblock in couples' sex lives, the painful gap between expectations and lived experience
[5:16] The performance expectations men carry into the bedroom, from lasting longer to frequency to technical skill
[10:11] Caitlin's first piece of advice for every man, start with your own relationship to sexuality before approaching your wife
[11:37] Why "why can't we have more sex" is really a request for closeness, connection, and feeling loved
[16:33] Caitlin's story, from sexual health researcher to sexologist and host of Good Sex on HBO Max
[20:13] Fact checking the viral claim that 50% of couples married three plus years haven't had sex in a year
[21:55] Why Gen Z is having less sex, porn access, dating app algorithms designed to keep you single, and Covid
[28:49] The Indiana University t-shirt study, why smell predicts attraction and how birth control changes desire
[36:37] What women actually find attractive in a man's body, hands, forearms, posture, and capability over six packs
[44:40] Why your solo sex life shapes your marriage, and Caitlin's snack versus whole meal analogy
[49:49] Larry opens up about quitting porn years ago and how it fixed his arousal issues and transformed intimacy
[53:37] Retraining your body without porn, why orgasm may take weeks to return, and why nobody fails to get there
[57:00] Escaping roommate syndrome, why sex was never actually spontaneous, and reclaiming the effort of courtship
[59:35] The intimacy spectrum beyond penetration, and Caitlin's personal story of healing pain through yoni massage
[1:06:09] The mudroom moment, how one question changed the way Larry and his wife connect after 23 years of marriage
 
Five Key Takeaways
The biggest obstacle in your sex life isn't your wife. It's the unspoken gap between what you expected sex to be and what it actually is, and the shame that keeps both of you from talking about it.

Never bring the conversation to her when it's burning hot. Do your own untangling first, figure out what you actually need underneath the request, and come with self-awareness and accountability instead of a demand.

How you care for your body is a proxy for how you care for everything. Your grooming, your hygiene, and your posture tell her more about who you are than a six pack ever will.

Don't show up to your wife starving. If she's the only source of meeting your needs, every approach carries desperation. Take care of yourself first and you'll come to her with something to give instead of something to take.

Sex is one point on a wide spectrum of intimacy. A shoulder massage, a hand in hand walk, or a deep conversation on the couch can keep you insanely connected without needing to lead anywhere.

 
Links & Resources
Caitlin V on YouTube — https://www.youtube.com/@caitlinvneal
Caitlin V's website with free yoni massage guide and courses — https://caitlinvneal.com
Erotic Blueprints playlist — search "Caitlin V blueprints" on YouTube
Join The Dad Edge Alliance in July to get a signed copy of The Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood, both courses, and the 50 Intimate Conversation Starters PDF — https://thedadedge.com/join
This episode — https://thedadedge.com/1500
Closing
Fifteen hundred episodes, and this might be one of the most important conversations I've ever had on this show. When I stood in my mudroom and asked my wife "what type of intimacy would you be up for today," everything about how we connect shifted, and that's available to you too. Don't wait until it's burning hot to have this conversation, and don't settle for being roommates with the woman you married. Share this one with a brother who needs it. Go out and live legendary.