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The Dad Edge Podcast

Larry Hagner
The Dad Edge Podcast
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1502 episodes

  • The Dad Edge Podcast

    Why Discipleship Is More Powerful Than Any Parenting Strategy featuring Justin Goodbread

    05/06/2026 | 57 mins.
    Justin Goodbread is a serial entrepreneur, business coach, and host of the DecaMillionaire Decoded podcast who has built and sold multiple companies while raising three kids alongside his wife Emily in Tennessee. His father Alan, a Georgia Port Authority worker who homeschooled three children with Juilliard graduates and university professors on a lower-middle-class income, laid the foundation for everything Justin has become as a man, a husband, and a dad.
    This episode is a raw, honest look at how faith, family, and legacy intersect when life gets hard. Justin shares the stories behind losing his father suddenly at 61, nearly losing Emily during an 8-hour surgery with a 12% survival rate, and how both moments stripped away his obsession with building empires and replaced it with something that actually matters. If you're a dad who wants to leave your kids with more than money, this conversation will stay with you.
     
    Timeline Summary
    [1:02] Host opens with a special June Alliance offer including a signed book, two courses, and 50 intimate conversation starters for couples
    [2:38] Guest Justin Goodbread is introduced and the two celebrate a recent episode swap on Justin's podcast
    [3:46] Justin describes his father Alan and the radical decision his parents made to break a cycle of dysfunction by raising their kids in faith and homeschooling them decades before it was common
    [7:39] Dad gives 15-year-old Justin an ultimatum: have a job by Friday or don't come home, with three strict rules that made it nearly impossible in their small Georgia town
    [9:53] Justin finds a stranger's overgrown yard, earns $40, and comes home to a father who reveals the lesson he'd orchestrated all along: at 15, you just outearned me
    [11:37] Two years after starting "Lawn Care by the Boys," Justin and his brother were earning more individually than their parents combined
    [12:33] After a final day hunting and a Taco Bell conversation about responsibility and legacy, Justin returns home to a call that his father had a massive heart attack that night
    [13:22] Justin describes a five-year crisis of faith following his father's sudden death at 61, and how grief forced him to rebuild everything from the ground up
    [24:01] Justin shares the family motto "No one outworks a Goodbread" and how his dad led with short, hard-to-forget phrases that became the family's operating system
    [29:18] Seven years of tribulation including multiple deaths, suicides among friends, and the stripping away of money and relationships down to just Justin, Emily, and a handful of close friends
    [31:39] Emily's surgery runs more than 8 hours when doctors said anything past 6 would mean trouble, and Justin sits alone in the hospital waiting room
    [33:06] Emily's first words coming out of anesthesia: "Justin, what's another million dollars going to do for us?" and how that question changed the direction of his entire life
    [39:44] The post-surgery shift: intentionality replaces ambition, marriage gets prioritized above all, and Justin and Emily travel to Costa Rica and Saint Lucia to invest in their relationship like never before
    [43:51] Justin uses the story of Jochebed and Moses to explain his parenting philosophy: mothers nurture in the early years, then fathers step in to disciple their kids into warriors
    [46:14] His 21-year-old daughter calls, ready to quit a hard nursing class. Justin says nothing. She already knows exactly what he'll say because she's been discipled.
    [53:43] Justin closes with Ephesians 6:13: "having done all, stand" — do your dead-level best, trust grace for the rest, and enter heaven exhausted
     
    Five Key Takeaways
    Your kids are watching you model your marriage more than they are watching you parent them. Justin and Emily made it a point to date each other first, keep their marriage above everything else, and trust that their kids would follow what they saw. When Emily nearly died, their daughter was already grounded enough to say "don't worry, dad, we got this."
    A crisis of faith is not the end of faith. After his father died, Justin spent five years questioning everything he had been raised to believe. What came out on the other side was not a shallower faith but a more surrendered one — a willingness to stop fighting the path and trust the process even when it costs him.
    The goal is to enter heaven exhausted, not retired. Justin draws a direct line from his father's work ethic to his own rejection of the Western retirement model. Life built around impact, not income, is the shift that Emily's surgery forced him to make, and it became the most clarifying decision of his adult life.
    Discipleship is about covering your kids in dust. Justin references the Hebrew tradition of students being covered in the dust of their teacher as they walked behind them. The goal is not just to tell your kids what to believe but to walk faithfully enough in front of them that when it counts, they already know what to do.
    God gets no glory in quitting. Justin's father said it when the family was tempted to pull the kids from homeschooling. Justin's daughter said it back to him at 21, unprompted, when she was ready to drop a nursing class. The phrase became a family doctrine because it was lived out, not just spoken.
     
    Links & Resources
    DecaMillionaire Decoded Podcast — http://justingoodbread.com/podcast
    Connect with Justin on Instagram — http://instagram.com/justingoodbread
    Join the Dad Edge Alliance — http://thedadedge.com/join
    50 Intimate Kid Conversation Starters — http://thedadedge.com/kidquestions
    Show notes and full resources — http://thedadedge.com/1487
     
    Closing
    Justin's story is not a highlight reel. It is a funeral, an 8-hour surgery, a crisis of faith, and a daughter who already knew what her dad was going to say before he said a word. If something in this episode hit you, send it to a man in your life who needs it. Rate and review the show so more dads can find it, and go out and live legendary.
  • The Dad Edge Podcast

    Why Your Kid Blames Everyone Else and How to Teach Real Ownership

    03/06/2026 | 45 mins.
    One of the hardest things I face as a father is watching my kids deflect responsibility and blame everyone else for their mistakes. A door slams in the car, and suddenly it's the wind's fault. A bad grade lands on the homework sheet, but somehow it's the teacher's fault. I know I'm not alone in this—it's one of the most common questions I get from our Dad Edge community. So I brought my brother Joe back to the Q&A to tackle it head-on, and I'm honestly still thinking about what he said.
    Joe has five kids of his own, including three daughters, so he's lived this battle in real-time. He's learned that what looks like defiance or dishonesty is often just a 12-year-old girl—or a 10-year-old boy—drowning in internal noise. There's social media, body image stuff, the need to be accepted, the pressure to be popular. As fathers, we can barely fathom the tornado of things swirling around in their heads. But when we understand that first, everything changes about how we respond.
    What struck me most was Joe's wisdom on adopted kids and their fear of failure. If your child came to you a different way—whether adopted or blended—there's an invisible layer of anxiety about worth and belonging. That's not an excuse for irresponsibility; it's context. And context changes how we coach. He walked me through how to use questions instead of accusations, how to celebrate integrity when we see it, and how to be careful with the words we speak because words become the narrative our kids believe about themselves.
    This Q&A is one you'll want to listen to twice. Once for the tactics on teaching ownership, and once to hear what Joe says about narratives and the power of telling your kids the truth about who they are. Because if we're building men—and that's what we do here—we have to give them a better story to believe about themselves.
     
    Timeline Summary
    [0:02] Host introduces The Dad Edge mission: creating leaders of men, families, and communities
    [1:02] Welcome to June 2026 and the epic Q&A episode—plus announcement of exclusive Alliance giveaways this month
    [1:52] Four exclusive bonuses for joining the Alliance in June: signed copy of The Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood, two courses ($500 value each), and 50 Intimate Conversation Starters
    [3:49] Joe joins and shares his excitement about these monthly Q&A conversations with the community
    [4:42] Sean submits the core question: His 12-year-old adopted daughter Angelina constantly blames others and won't take ownership for her actions
    [5:30] Joe responds: At 12, girls are in transition from childhood to womanhood with massive internal pressure around social media, body image, and acceptance
    [6:18] The key insight—girls can think about 5-6 things at once while most men focus on one track; understanding this is crucial
    [7:23] Covey's principle: Seek to understand before you seek to be understood; girls at 12 are anxious about their origin story and fear of failure
    [8:27] The adoption layer: Children who came to families differently often fear they'll be rejected again, which fuels the blame pattern
    [10:00] Use questions, not accusations: Instead of "Why did you slam the door?" try "Help me understand what happened"—questions keep the door open instead of triggering defensiveness
    [15:45] Teaching integrity and responsibility: Point out integrity every time you see it—in your child, in others, in everyday moments
    [38:36] Celebrate integrity immediately: "That showed so much integrity" builds the construct in your child's mind of what integrity actually looks like
    [39:43] The power of words: Life and death are in the tongue; be careful about criticism around performance because every child struggles with "not being good enough"
    [40:43] Give your kids a better narrative: The foundation for who they are as people is built on the words you speak and the truth you help them believe about themselves
    [43:52] Free resource: "Questions for the Car" PDF with 75 age-appropriate questions (5-8, 9-12, and teens) to build connection without the standard "how was school" questions
    [45:31] Reminder about Alliance June bonuses and gratitude for the community and reviews
     
    Five Key Takeaways
    When your kid blames others, they're often drowning in internal noise. Before you react to the deflection, understand the 10 things happening inside their head—social pressure, body image, fear of rejection. Understanding first changes everything about how you coach.
    Instead of asking "Why did you do that?" use questions to understand. The word "why" triggers defensiveness immediately; "Help me understand what happened" keeps the conversation open and models curiosity instead of accusation.
    Point out integrity constantly—in your child, in strangers, in everyday moments. Integrity is an abstract word to a 10-year-old, so show them what it looks like. Celebrate it immediately. Build the mental model they'll use for the rest of their lives.
    The words you speak become the narrative your kids believe about themselves. Lies believed enslave a person; truth believed sets them free. Are you speaking words that will free your kids or words that will trap them?
    Build connection before you expect influence. Questions that create real dialogue—not "How was school?" but the kind that invites genuine conversation—are the bridge between you and your child's honesty.
     
    Links & Resources
    The Dad Edge Podcast & Resources — https://thedadedge.com/1486
    Join The Dad Edge Alliance — https://thedadedge.com/join
    Questions for the Car PDF (75 age-appropriate questions, ages 5-12 and teens) — https://thedadedge.com/kidquestions
    The Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood book — https://thedadedge.com
    Creating More Patience in the Chaos course ($500 value, free in June) — https://thedadedge.com/join
    50 Intimate Conversation Starters PDF (free resource for Alliance members) — https://thedadedge.com/join
    Closing
    If you're struggling with a kid who won't own their mistakes, this conversation is going to shift something in you. I know it did for me. Joe's insight about understanding the tornado of noise inside a preteen's head, and his challenge about the words we speak and the narrative we're building—that's the stuff that matters. That's legacy work. Join the Alliance in June if you want those resources, and don't miss the "Questions for the Car" PDF in the show notes. Your kids need questions that actually matter. Go out and live legendary.
  • The Dad Edge Podcast

    The Real Cost of Building a Business That Runs Your Life featuring Dominic Rubino

    01/06/2026 | 54 mins.
    Dominic Rubino is a business coach with over two decades of experience who built a Brian Tracy franchise from 6 locations to 240 worldwide, sold it, and never looked back. He hosts two highly niched podcasts, Profit Tool Belt and Cabinet Maker Profit System, where he helps small trade business owners get clear on time, team, money, and growth.
    What hit me hardest about this conversation was that Dominic had everything on paper. Two hundred and forty franchisees. International operations. A name in the industry. And then his nine-year-old son shrank at the dinner table, and Dominic made the decision right there. He sold the company. He showed up. And now his son is heading off to play NCAA lacrosse.
    This episode is about what it actually takes to build a business that serves your life — not the other way around. Dominic talks about delegation, systems, the cost of constant travel, and why the guys who can't stop working are often running from something. If you've ever felt like a prisoner to the income you built, this one's for you.
    If you're a father who owns a business or is grinding through a W-2 job that keeps pulling you away from the people you're doing it all for, this conversation will hit close to home. Dominic doesn't deal in theory. He's lived it, coached thousands through it, and he has the frameworks to prove it.
     
    Timeline Summary
    [1:02] Dominic's last name gets butchered before the mic even starts rolling — and a quick side note about Dallas
    [1:54] Host sets up the dinner table moment — nine-year-old Joseph shrinks in his chair and changes everything
    [2:17] Dominic describes building a Brian Tracy franchise from 6 to 240 locations across the U.S., Brazil, and Europe
    [3:32] A surprise buyout offer comes in from franchisees — and Dominic says no
    [4:13] The real cost of constant travel: getting invited to the hotel concierge's birthday party
    [5:29] The moment it all shifted: Joseph drops his head at the dinner table and Dominic decides to sell
    [7:05] Dominic reflects on the things he missed — first steps, first swimming lessons — and what his kids saw him miss
    [9:16] Host shares his own version: his six-year-old son locked around his ankle on the floor, begging him not to leave again
    [13:03] Why Dominic stopped being afraid to reinvent himself — and the promise he made to never sacrifice his family again
    [20:08] Advice for W-2 guys feeling stuck: stop sending resumes into the void and go talk to a human being
    [25:17] "Cat's in the Cradle" — one song that answers this whole conversation, and a hospital story that hits like a gut punch
    [31:42] The less you work, the more you make: why Dominic hires great people and then hires them an assistant
    [36:15] A live breathing exercise on air — and what it should feel like to actually be on top of your business
    [43:23] A client sells his company for seven figures and his wife asks one question: "Does this mean you can finally do donuts with dad?"
    [47:12] How Dominic helps trade business owners in the $1–3M range get clear on time, team, money, and growth
    [50:07] How to find Dominic — two podcasts, a TEDx talk, and a college wrestler who is definitely not him
     
    Five Key Takeaways
    The moment that changes you doesn't announce itself. For Dominic, it was a nine-year-old boy silently shrinking at the dinner table. You don't always know what your kids see you miss, but they're watching — and so are you, somewhere deep down.

    Reinventing yourself isn't the scary part. The scarier thing is spending another decade in golden handcuffs, telling yourself you're doing it for the family while the family waits at the door. Stop lying to yourself about being trapped. You're not.

    Finding a job is a job. Don't send your resume into the LinkedIn black hole. Figure out which companies and which people you actually want to work for and go talk to them. Every business owner out there is looking for someone committed enough to show up before they're asked.

    Hire great people, then hire them an assistant. If your best people are spending their time on tasks that a $20/hour assistant could handle, you're paying premium wages for checkbox work. Build small teams, assign assistants early, and let them do more than you ever could alone.

    A business only gets clear when everything in your head gets out of it. Strategic planning is really just moving the chaos from your mind onto paper. Once it's on paper, it becomes the boss. Then you work backwards from that to figure out what has to happen this quarter, this week, and today.

     
    Links & Resources
    Profit Tool Belt Podcast — search "Profit Tool Belt" on any podcast platform
    Cabinet Maker Profit System Podcast — https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cabinet-maker-profit-system-podcast/id1353937790
    Dominic Rubino TEDx Talk: Family Inc — search "Dominic Rubino TEDx" on YouTube
    The Dad Edge Alliance — http://thedadedge.com/join
    Episode show notes and links — http://thedadedge.com/1483
     
    Closing
    If Dominic's dinner table story hit you somewhere you weren't expecting, trust that feeling. That's the thing trying to get your attention. Whether you're building a business, grinding a W-2, or somewhere in the messy middle of trying to make a change, the time to put the wheels in motion is not someday — it's now. Share this episode with a business-owner dad in your life who needs to hear it. And if it moved you, take two minutes to leave a review and follow the show so we can keep bringing you conversations like this one. Go out and live legendary.
  • The Dad Edge Podcast

    How to Forgive Someone Without Letting Them Off the Hook featuring Father Stephen Gadberry

    29/05/2026 | 1h 12 mins.
    Father Stephen Gadberry is a Catholic priest ordained in 2016 after a path that took him from a small family farm in the Arkansas Delta through the United States Air Force, a deployment to Iraq, and all the way to Rome to study philosophy and theology. He competed on American Ninja Warrior in 2018 and 2020, has worked alongside Bishop Robert Barron and Word on Fire, and currently serves at Saint Theresa Catholic Church and School in Little Rock, Arkansas.
    In this conversation, Father Stephen opens up about losing his father and twelve-year-old sister in a car accident when he was just eight years old, how that tragedy shaped his understanding of duty and sacrifice, and what it felt like to receive his calling in the middle of a deployment in central Iraq. He is a hunter, archer, CrossFit athlete, knife maker, and musician who speaks about masculinity, suffering, and faith in a way that cuts through all the noise.
    We also get into forgiveness in a way I have never heard anyone break it down before. Father Stephen uses the image of a plant to walk through the entire process of healing a broken relationship, from cultivating the soil, to planting the seed, to watching for weeds, to understanding why we pull back just when things start to feel close. It is pastoral counsel and practical wisdom at the same time.
    This one hit me differently, guys. I am not kidding when I say I felt the weight of this conversation in my chest. If you have ever carried loss, wrestled with abandonment, or wondered how a man of deep faith actually lives out forgiveness in real time, this episode is for you.
     
    Timeline Summary
    [1:02] Father Stephen and the host kick off by acknowledging this is take two, after a tech failure ended the first recording
    [1:55] Father Stephen explains his two appearances on American Ninja Warrior in 2018 and 2020 and what he was really trying to do with the cameras
    [4:20] The meaning behind the priest collar explained: white for speaking truth, black for death to self
    [6:07] Why traditions are not a threat to faith and how they are already woven into every man's life whether he realizes it or not
    [7:16] How the American Ninja Warrior exposure broke down barriers and gave people an entry point to seek pastoral help with marriages and personal struggles
    [13:25] Host introduces Father Stephen's background: raised on an Arkansas farm, lost his father and older sister at age eight in a car accident, later served in the Air Force and deployed to Iraq
    [17:22] Father Stephen describes the accident on May 5th, 1994, the deaths of his father and twelve-year-old sister, and how a young boy without comprehension of the full weight woke up every day and simply got it done
    [23:11] Two weeks after the accident, his mother discovered she was pregnant with twins, and the family's response to impossible circumstances
    [28:18] The Christmas delivery story: neighbors who brought gifts for the family after the accident and did it with enough grace and class that no one's dignity was taken
    [33:14] Father Stephen recalls warming up the minivan for his mother on cold Arkansas mornings as a child, and why the small act reveals a lifelong orientation toward serving others before himself
    [37:10] The story of how the calling to priesthood emerged during military service in Iraq, including a stranger at Mass who said, "You're thinking about being a priest, aren't you?"
    [43:30] How Father Stephen submitted his early separation paperwork from the Air Force and received approval in under two weeks, something that ordinarily takes months
    [46:30] The host shares his own story of his biological father leaving twice and reconnecting at age thirty, and asks Father Stephen about what it means to forgive at 98% but still carry that last 2%
    [52:07] The plant image of forgiveness: cultivating the soil, planting the seed, watching for weeds, and understanding that pulling things up too soon or too often kills what is trying to grow
    [1:00:54] Father Stephen helps the host understand the subconscious pull-back pattern that shows up in relationships after early abandonment and how to reframe those defense mechanisms rather than fight them
    [1:07:13] Closing thoughts and the little way of Saint Thérèse: do small things with big love, over and over
     
    Five Key Takeaways
    Losing his father and sister at age eight did not break Father Stephen. It built in him a sense of duty and commitment so deep that he woke up every morning as a boy simply asking what needed to be done, and that orientation toward others before self became the foundation of everything he does as a priest.

    Sharing your humanity, not just your credentials, is what gives people permission to bring you their real problems. Father Stephen's Ninja Warrior appearances did not grow his ministry by making him impressive. They grew it by making him approachable.

    Forgiveness is not a moment. It is a plant. You cultivate the soil, you plant the seed at the right time in the right way, and then you let it sit. Going back every day to dig it up and see if it grew will kill it. The healing comes from doing the work and then having the patience to let it take root.

    Keeping a small part of unforgiveness is not a failure. It is memory. It is what tells you how to water the plant going forward, what burned it before, and what it needs to stay alive now. Forgetting is not the goal. Learning is.

    The soul remembers what hurt it, and sometimes that shows up as pulling back right when something good is getting close. That is not sabotage. That is an old defense mechanism doing its job. The work is to recognize it, name it, and gently push its limits rather than either surrendering to it or shaming yourself for it.

     
    Links & Resources
    Follow Father Stephen on Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/fatherstephenjgadberry
    Saint Theresa Catholic Church — https://www.sttheresalittlerock.org
    This Episode's Show Page — https://thedadedge.com/1484
    Join the Dad Edge — https://thedadedge.com/join
    The Men's Forge — https://themensforge.com
     
    Closing
    Father Stephen gave us something rare in this conversation: the kind of honesty that only comes from a man who has sat with real pain long enough to have something true to say about it. If the plant image of forgiveness resonated with you the way it hit me, share this episode with a man in your life who is carrying something heavy and does not have the language for it yet. And if you got something out of this one, please take a minute to leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. It helps more dads and more men find this show.
    Go out and live legendary.
  • The Dad Edge Podcast

    Why Boundaries Are the Only Way Kids Ever Have True Freedom featuring Jon Fogel

    27/05/2026 | 49 mins.
    Jon Fogel is a parenting expert, pastor, published author, and PhD candidate who runs Whole Parent and Whole Parent Academy, a resource built around the psychology of parenting and discipline. He is the author of the bestselling book Punishment Free Parenting and a brand new children's book, Set My Feelings Free, which sold out nationwide before its second printing. He is a husband, father of four kids ranging from 18 months to nine years old, and somehow found time to install a toilet while his wife was in labor.
    Jon has been a guest on The Dad Edge podcast twice before, and every single time he shows up, he leaves the room differently than he found it. This episode is a live Q&A inside the Alliance, and the questions the guys brought were real. Getting a spouse on the same page. The pendulum swing between authoritarian and checked-out. A five-year-old who looks you dead in the eye before he does the wrong thing on purpose. And the hard one: what happens when your son won't respond to you the way he responds to his mom.
    Jon's framework is grounded in brain science and developmental psychology, and the thing that keeps hitting you as you listen is how much of what we were taught about discipline actually works against us. The reason kids shut down when we raise our voices is the same reason our partners shut down when we raise our voices. The reason kids push boundaries is not defiance. It's development. The reason your son runs to mom and not to you is not a reflection of your worth as a father. It's evolution.
    If you're a dad who's been doing the work but still feels like something is off in how your kids or your partner respond to you, this episode is going to give you clarity in places you didn't expect to find it.
     
    Timeline Summary
    [1:01] Host introduces Jon Fogel for his third appearance, covering his role as a parenting expert, author, PhD candidate, and founder of Whole Parent Academy
    [2:05] Jon describes his book Punishment Free Parenting, its bestseller status, and explains that 99% of the book is about what to do instead of punishing
    [3:42] Jon's newest children's book Set My Feelings Free is sold out nationwide, with a second printing arriving May 20th
    [4:02] First question from Rich: how to get a spouse on the same page when parenting backgrounds and styles are very different
    [5:29] Jon explains why you should never try to correct a partner's parenting in the moment, and why the same brain science that applies to kids applies to adults
    [8:11] Jon introduces the H.E.A.R. framework from Harvard for conflict resolution: Hedge, Emphasize agreement, Acknowledge perspective, Reframe to the positive
    [10:55] Jon walks through each step of H.E.A.R. practically, showing how removing defensiveness creates space for the other person to move without feeling wrong
    [14:07] Jon adds a bonus tactic: developing a safe word with your partner as a mutual tap-out when someone is getting too heated to parent effectively
    [17:56] Second question from Chris: the pendulum swing between strict and disengaged, and why so many parents default to one or the other
    [19:16] Jon reframes the boundary concept using the backyard fence metaphor: boundaries are not restrictions, they are the only structure that gives a child real freedom
    [27:17] Third question: a five-year-old who deliberately pushes boundaries and throws food. Jon explains the difference between punishments, natural consequences, and logical consequences
    [30:50] Jon explains that boundary-pushing at five is a developmental need, not defiance, and offers a practical redirection strategy using a popcorn bowl at dinner
    [35:15] Anonymous question: son responds to mom and shuts down with dad. Jon addresses attachment hierarchy, enmeshment concerns, and why parents should largely stop parenting together
    [40:10] Jon explains the science of attachment hierarchy and how kids are hardwired to default to one parent under threat. He clarifies that being second in the hierarchy does not mean you are failing
    [44:46] Jon shares resources: Punishment Free Parenting, the children's book Set My Feelings Free, The Whole Parent Podcast, and an in-person event in Chicago on May 21st
     
    Five Key Takeaways
    The worst time to correct your partner's parenting is in the moment it's happening. The same science that tells us not to discipline a dysregulated child applies directly to adults. Wait for calm, get curious about the trigger, and then use the H.E.A.R. framework to address it without creating more defensiveness than you started with.

    Boundaries are not restrictions. They are the structure that gives your child real freedom. A kid without clear boundaries does not feel free. They feel unsafe. The backyard fence metaphor Jon uses is worth sitting with: your job is to build the fence in the right place, not to police what happens inside it.

    A five-year-old who looks you in the eye before doing something he knows you don't want is not being defiant. He is developing. At that age, differentiation is a biological need, and the act of doing something dad doesn't want is how he practices becoming his own person. Understanding that changes how you respond.

    If your son responds better to his mom than to you, that is not an indictment of who you are as a father. Attachment hierarchy is hardwired and evolutionary. The solution is not to compete with mom in the room. It is to build a relationship with your son when she is not there.

    Kids who do not have their need for autonomy met will meet that need in ways you will not like. Whether it is food at the dinner table, video games at 13, or behavior that seems to come out of nowhere, the question worth asking is: where else in his day does he get to make his own choices?

     
    Links & Resources
    Punishment Free Parenting by Jon Fogel — https://a.co/d/0hdOkJZl
    Set My Feelings Free (children's book) — second printing available May 20th
    In-person Chicago event with Jon Fogel and Eli Harwood — May 21st, downtown Chicago
    How to Deal With Your Shirt So Your Kids Don't Have to by Eli Harwood
    The Alliance — http://thedadedge.com/soulmates
    The Men's Forge — http://themensforge.com/
    Shownotes: http://thedadedge.com/1485
     
    Closing
    The question about attachment hierarchy near the end of this one is going to stay with me for a while. The image of your kid running toward one parent without thinking, faster than conscious thought, because their brain is trying to survive a threat — and knowing that which parent they run to has nothing to do with how hard you've worked or how much you love them — that's both humbling and freeing at the same time. Jon said it plainly: being in second place means you're in first place when the other person isn't there. Do the work. Show up. Take the alone time with your kids and build what only you can build with them. Go out and live legendary.
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About The Dad Edge Podcast
The Dad Edge Podcast is a movement. It is a strong community of Fathers who all share a set of values. Larry Hagner, founder of The Dad Edge, breaks down common challenges of fatherhood, making them easy to understand and overcome. Tackling the world of Fatherhood can be a daunting task when we try to do it alone. The mission of The Dad Edge Podcast is to help you become the best, strongest, and happiest version of yourself so that you can help guide your kids to the best version of themselves. Simple as that. Everything you need and all of our resources can be found at thedadedge.com/podcast
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