The Dad Edge Podcast

This is a Wednesday Wins Q&A, with Larry joined by his longtime co-host Joe Bailey to tackle a question that lands for almost every married dad. Mike from Washington State wrote in about a marriage that isn't broken, no fighting, no affairs, but feels more like two coworkers running a small company called the family. He and his wife talk schedules, kids, and bills, physical intimacy has slowed, and as he puts it, he misses her even though she's only six feet away.
Larry breaks down the four pillars of marriage from Lance and Brandi's work, individual, partnership, friends, and intimacy, and explains how couples get stuck in the partnership loop and skip straight to intimacy, which backfires. Joe follows with the idea of getting used to the light again after emotional disconnection, releasing resentment, and making small pursuits without attaching expectations. If your marriage feels more like a business partnership than a romance, this one is a practical roadmap back.
 
Timeline Summary
[1:02] – Setting up Mike's question about a marriage that feels like a business partnership
[2:12] – Mike's full letter: coworkers running a company called our family
[3:46] – Larry on his own first decade feeling exactly the same way
[4:05] – The four pillars of marriage from Lance and Brandi's book
[4:46] – Pillar one, individual: self-care and emotional check-ins by percentage
[5:42] – Pillar two, partnership: the bills, roles, and chores, aka the partnership loop
[5:59] – Pillar three, friends: shared interests and real alignment
[6:21] – Pillar four, intimacy, and why it collapses when the others are neglected
[6:47] – How couples skip friendship and self and jump straight to intimacy
[7:26] – Disrupting the partnership loop by cultivating friendship first
[7:49] – The walk-and-date boundary: be Larry and Jessica, not Mom and Dad
[8:13] – Bookending conversations with appreciation so your partner feels seen
[8:30] – Adventuring together and asking bucket-list questions
[9:34] – Why men eradicate their own self-care and isolate
[12:12] – Joe on living this exact dynamic in his own marriage
[12:32] – The dark-theater analogy: getting used to the light again
[13:35] – Step one, release resentment when reconnection feels uncomfortable
[14:02] – Be persistent and stop attaching sex to every act of connection
[14:27] – Small pursuits: flowers and a coffee dropped off at Ivy's work, just because
[15:46] – Small investments compound like a financial portfolio
[16:40] – Stop keeping score and get in the habit of just investing
[16:59] – The car story: we love the things we invest in
[20:07] – Loving your wife publicly and without agenda
[20:44] – Loving her in front of the kids and her mother
[21:48] – The Hitch analogy and winning over the people around her
[22:14] – The marriage hack: your mother in law as your greatest ally
 
5 Key Takeaways
Marriage Has Four Pillars — Individual, partnership, friends, and intimacy. When you neglect self-care, friendship, and quality time and jump straight to intimacy, it falls flat. Intimacy is the natural result of the other three working.
Escape the Partnership Loop — If every conversation is about schedules, bills, and who needs to be where, you're stuck in the partnership loop. Break out by rebuilding the friendship: dates, walks, adventures, and conversations where you're a couple, not just co-parents.
Get Used to the Light Again — After emotional disconnection, reconnecting feels awkward and uncomfortable for both people. Expect that, release resentment about it, and don't attach worst-case scenarios to the discomfort.
Make Small Pursuits Without Agenda — Drop off flowers just because, and don't attach any expectation of sex, because she'll sniff that out instantly. Stop keeping score and keep making small investments, and the connection compounds over time.
We Love What We Invest In — Don't wait to feel the love before you invest. As the car story shows, investment creates love, not the other way around. Love your wife publicly and without agenda, and let her people, especially her mother, become your allies.
 
Links & Resources
Episode page and all links: https://thedadedge.com/1516
Legendary Couple with Larry and Jessica: https://thedadedge.com/legendary-couple/
Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals (November 15, Cardinals vs Rams, State Farm Stadium): https://thedadedge.com/nfl
 
Enjoyed This Episode?
If Mike's letter read like a page out of your own marriage, pick one small pursuit and do it this week with zero agenda. Drop off her favorite coffee, take a walk where you're just the two of you again, and stop waiting to feel connected before you invest. If the show keeps delivering, follow, rate, and leave a review so more fathers can find these conversations.

This is a special live Q&A recorded inside Apogee, where the hosts turned the tables and interviewed Larry alongside his wife Jessica for a rare joint conversation. Married 23 years with four sons, the two open up about what actually creates safety in a home, and their answer surprises the room: it starts with relentlessly prioritizing the marriage.
From there they get honest about the early years when Larry admits he floundered and didn't lead well, how Jessica learned to call him forward without emasculating him, and why connection always has to come before correction. They talk repair as the true measure of a relationship, letting kids witness the full cycle of a disagreement, and Larry shares the hardest parts of his own story, an estranged mother and a father who left twice, and what forgiveness has and hasn't looked like. If you want a real look inside a marriage that leads, this one delivers.
 
Timeline Summary
[1:05] – Larry and Jessica join Apogee, and the watermelon splitter jokes begin
[5:03] – The Freud quote on a child's need for protection, and Larry's book for his boys
[6:19] – What's really happening in a home when a child feels deeply safe
[7:01] – The frying pan on the back burner: how marriages slide after kids arrive
[8:29] – Marriage as a skill, not just a feeling, and the tactical work it requires
[9:09] – Telling his 12 year old he prioritizes mom, and why that creates safety
[10:04] – The 18 year old who wants to be home because of how his parents love
[11:05] – Jessica on kids modeling what they see, and her daughter wanting flowers
[13:16] – Jessica's loving, family oriented upbringing versus Larry's chaotic one
[15:08] – Jessica's honesty: he did not lead very well in the early years
[15:51] – Calling him forward with love instead of a finger in his face
[17:28] – Connection before correction, and picking one when forced to choose
[20:55] – Why calling someone forward implies connection and trust already exist
[22:08] – Without connection you have no influence, even with your own kids
[23:14] – Having tough conversations through activity: walks, workouts, the range
[23:38] – Hold On to Your Kids and why attachment precedes instruction
[24:51] – Parenting across developmental stages and the two bigs, two littles dynamic
[28:01] – Why Larry found the young years hardest and came alive in the teens
[29:23] – Jessica as the boy mom of empathy, affection, and don't cross me
[30:29] – What repair looks like after losing patience with the kids
[32:22] – Figs O'Sullivan on harmony, disharmony, and quality living in the repair
[33:05] – Growing up with parents who never apologized, and breaking that cycle
[35:05] – Coach Whittle's house rule: if you see the collision, you see the repair
[36:12] – The deck argument Ethan witnessed and the repair he described back
[38:20] – Repairing with your own parents, and the letters Apogee members are writing
[41:53] – Larry's estranged mother, the milk incident, and an unsafe environment
[42:37] – A father who left twice and the Starbucks reunion 18 years later
[43:36] – Mason at 15 asking how he could ever forgive him
[44:34] – Forgive and co-create the future, or live in the past with a grudge
[46:18] – Screen time boundaries, dumb phones, and earning time through fitness
[49:37] – The three page contract for an adult son living at home rent free
[50:28] – Why doom scrolling infuriates Larry, and his own guilt with the work phone
[57:08] – The Apogee host thanks Larry, and an early zoom happy birthday
 
5 Key Takeaways
Protecting Kids Starts With the Marriage — The deepest safety a child feels comes from parents who prioritize each other. It's a long tail game, not a short term action, and kids who see their parents love each other feel warm, safe, and want to be home.
Call Each Other Forward, Don't Tear Down — Jessica changed Larry by naming what she saw with love and respect instead of criticism, which made him want to change. That same energy, connection before correction, is exactly how they lead their sons.
Without Connection You Have No Influence — Kids tune out discipline from someone they don't feel attached to. Building connection first, often through shared activity, makes every hard conversation land far better.
The Relationship Lives in the Repair — Every relationship cycles through harmony, disharmony, and repair, and the quality resides in how you repair. Letting kids witness the whole cycle, including your apology, teaches them it's safe to mess up and own it.
Forgiveness Is a Choice About the Future — Larry's father owned his two abandonments completely and earned a 21 year relationship, while his mother's unsafe patterns went unrepaired. You can forgive and co-create the future, or live your whole life in the past with a grudge.
 
Links & Resources
Episode page and all links: https://thedadedge.com/1507
Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals (November 15, Cardinals vs Rams, State Farm Stadium): https://thedadedge.com/nfl
Connect with Jessica Hagner: https://thedadedge.com/jessicahagner/
Larry and Jessica interview each other (part one): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aCcKKv9pXw
Larry and Jessica interview each other (part two): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsHmnQiROMo&t=138s
 
Enjoyed This Episode?
If watching Larry and Jessica lead their marriage out loud gave you something to aim at, take one piece into your own home this week. Prioritize your spouse in front of your kids, or let them witness a full repair the next time you lose your patience. If the show keeps delivering, follow, rate, and leave a review so more fathers can find these conversations.

Harry Psaros is an author, neuroscientist, health coach, and third degree black belt, known to Pittsburgh sports fans as the Pit Guru, but the title that matters most to him is dad. He and his wife Michelle have been married 24 years and raised two sons, and it was his journey raising Gus, who's on the autism spectrum, that led him to write his Amazon bestselling, award winning book From Struggle to Strength. He's one of the rare male voices in the autism space, and he doesn't shy away from calling other fathers forward.
Harry and Larry, who's walked a similar road with his own oldest son, get into why so many dads resist an autism diagnosis, the devastating fall that erased years of Gus's progress, and the mindset that pulled the family through. Harry breaks down the two ideas from his book that have resonated worldwide: the 2% rule for cutting through overwhelm, and the difference between sight and vision. If you're a father facing a diagnosis you didn't expect, this one meets you where you are and refuses to let you stay there.
 
Timeline Summary
[1:02] – Two martial artists connect over a shared lifelong passion
[7:13] – The fall down two flights of stairs and the concussion that changed everything
[9:14] – Total regression: years of therapy and even the piano, gone
[9:37] – Picking yourself off the mat because the endgame never changed
[10:45] – Gus graduates Kent State and starts a physical therapy graduate program
[12:16] – The full bio: author, neuroscientist, the Pit Guru, and a dad
[14:51] – When Gus was diagnosed and why Harry was so stubborn at first
[15:31] – The oddities Michelle saw that Harry couldn't accept
[16:28] – The birthday party, the fan, and the teacher who said it out loud
[17:57] – The two hour drive home and the moment he decided, game on
[19:16] – The two types of dads, and why both need to hear this
[22:26] – Gus at 22, the vision board, the degree, and the Ram truck
[23:09] – The three levels of autism and why mild is never easy
[24:19] – A nonverbal keynote speaker with two degrees and a full life
[25:31] – Larry's own son: low muscle tone, food textures, and an IEP that led to drum major
[29:33] – Larry's younger son, PANDAS, and the strep connection
[31:47] – The 2% rule: one thing a day to silence the cacophony
[41:58] – Sight versus vision: the daily grind and the long term picture
[43:19] – Brain Balance, Dr. Robert Melillo, and lifting the autistic fog
[45:21] – Why the vision piece includes estate planning for some families
[47:33] – Filotimo and doing good for the sake of good, asking nothing in return
[49:16] – Wanting to become a preeminent male voice in the autism space
[51:10] – Your number one job as a dad is to be there for your kid
[53:19] – Gus wins a National Courage Award and says yes to help one person
[55:09] – Where to find the book and connect with Harry
 
5 Key Takeaways
Control the Controllable — When a devastating setback erases years of progress, you can't change what happened. You can refocus on the endgame, pick yourself off the mat, and keep fighting toward the best version of your child.
The 2% Rule — Parenting a child with extra needs floods you with everything that needs fixing at once. Pick one thing each day and make your child 2% better at it. Anything beyond that is icing on the cake.
Mild Doesn't Mean Easy — A level one diagnosis still means years of therapists, neurologists, and countless hours on the road. Improvement applies at every level, and no one should tell you what your child can't do.
Sight and Vision Are Both Required — Sight is the daily grind of therapies and goals. Vision is the long term picture, and it can change dramatically as your child grows, so keep both in view and adjust the vision as gains come.
A True Man Shows Up — Your number one job as a dad is to be there for your kid. Resisting the diagnosis or staying on the sidelines is doing the opposite of what fatherhood requires. Get your emotions out, then dive in.
 
Links & Resources
Episode page and all links: https://thedadedge.com/1514
Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals (November 15, Cardinals vs Rams, State Farm Stadium): https://thedadedge.com/nfl
Alex the Terrible scream video (referenced in episode, just for fun): https://www.youtube.com/shorts/UMZ1tqojC2Q
Become a legendary couple: https://thedadedge.com/legendary-couple/
 
Enjoyed This Episode?
If Harry's message reached something in you, whether you're facing a diagnosis yourself or you know a dad who's still resisting one, pass it along. Send this episode to a father who needs to hear that showing up is the whole job, and pick one small thing to get 2% better at with your own kids this week. If the show keeps delivering, follow, rate, and leave a review so more fathers can find these conversations.

This is a Wednesday Wins Q&A, with Larry joined by his longtime co-host and friend of nearly a decade, Joe Bailey. The two open up about the Bible study they've been doing together before digging into two listener questions that hit at the heart of hands-on fatherhood.
First, Steve asks how to prepare his three year old daughter for a new baby sister arriving in a few weeks, and how to keep the first child feeling seen. Then Brad from Florida sends in a question that lands hard: his wife says that even when he's home, he's not really there, and his 11 year old recently cut off a story with "never mind, dad, you're not listening anyway." Larry and Joe get practical on capacity for love, protecting margin, and the exact tools they use to actually be present. If you've ever been physically home but mentally somewhere else, this one is for you.
 
Timeline Summary
[1:02] – Larry and Joe celebrate nearly a decade of friendship and their ongoing Bible study
[3:09] – Steve's question: transitioning a three year old into big sister life
[4:57] – The fear of not having enough love to go around, and why it's unfounded
[5:19] – The Love and Logic lesson: what a new sibling feels like to a toddler
[7:05] – Kids spell love T-I-M-E, and why one on one time matters most
[9:36] – Joe on quality over quantity once you can't match the same hours
[11:39] – Becoming a subject matter expert in whatever your kid is into
[13:03] – Inviting the older child into the role of big sister without pressure
[14:14] – Watching for behavioral cues before jealousy goes full fledged
[14:34] – Being depth on the bench for your wife and beating the guilt monster
[15:37] – Larry's chapter on raising daughters and leaning on Meg Meeker's work
[16:26] – Chris Berry's daddy-daughter dates and setting the standard sky high
[18:01] – Why three years old isn't too early to start dating your daughter
[19:19] – Brad's question: present in body, absent in mind
[21:03] – Why perception is reality when your family feels you're not there
[22:16] – The name cue: teaching your family to signal when they need you fully
[23:26] – Being relentless about creating margin and hard stops for work
[25:24] – Larry on notifications as the window that steals your presence
[25:43] – The Gary John Bishop river metaphor for the past, present, and future
[28:28] – Larry's Full Presence Training and grounding through the five senses
[31:07] – Joe on great expectancy with no expectations
 
5 Key Takeaways
Your Capacity for Love Isn't Fixed — Every parent fears they can't love a second child as much as the first. Both hosts describe the same surprise each time: a fresh reserve of love shows up that you didn't know you had.
Quality Beats Quantity — With more kids, you simply can't give each one the same number of hours. Get intentional instead: enter your child's world, learn what they love, and make the time you do have count.
Perception Is Reality — You may feel like you're present and carrying the load, but if your wife and kids experience you as checked out, that's the reality you have to address. Validating their experience comes before defending your own.
Protect Margin With Hard Stops — Decide when work starts and when it ends, and hold the line even when customers call at night. Give your family a simple cue, like saying your name, that signals you'll drop everything and give full attention.
Ground Yourself in the Five Senses — When your mind drifts to the past or the future, you miss the present entirely. Deliberately noticing what you see, hear, feel, and smell in a moment with your kids pulls you fully into it.
 
Links & Resources
Episode page and all links: https://thedadedge.com/1513
Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals (November 15, Cardinals vs Rams, State Farm Stadium): https://thedadedge.com/nfl
Meg Meeker episode: https://thedadedge.com/meg-meeker/
 
Enjoyed This Episode?
If Brad's question hit a nerve, or if you've got a new sibling on the way like Steve, take one idea from this episode and put it to work this week. Set a hard stop on work tonight, or ground yourself in the five senses the next time your kid is talking to you. If the show keeps delivering, follow, rate, and leave a review so more fathers can find these conversations.

Jenna Free is a counselor who specializes in ADHD, and she doesn't teach it from a textbook, she lives it, having been diagnosed herself at 32. Her work zeroes in on the piece she says the field keeps missing: dysregulation. Through her ADHD regulation groups and her training for mental health professionals, she teaches a method built around regulating the nervous system, thoughts, and behaviors, and she's put it all into her bestselling book The Simple Guide to ADHD Regulation, a Toronto Star and Globe and Mail bestseller.
The core idea here reframes almost everything men think they know about ADHD. Jenna argues that most of what gets labeled ADHD is actually an ADHD brain stuck in chronic fight or flight, and that it's fixable. She and Larry get into what's happening in the brain during dysregulation, the four survival responses, why potential keeps you stuck, and how simply refusing to fight with reality can change your whole day. If you or your kids have ever felt like putting on socks is a full body assignment, this one explains why.
 
Timeline Summary
[1:58] – Getting diagnosed at 32 and finally making sense to herself
[3:28] – Four careers by 35, from marketing to modeling in South Africa to teaching
[9:14] – Two kids under a year and a half apart and max fight or flight
[9:57] – Your mess becomes your message
[10:16] – The full bio: the ADHD regulation method and a bestselling book
[13:16] – What's actually happening in an ADHD brain stuck in fight or flight
[14:43] – Why the fight or flight symptom list looks almost identical to the ADHD one
[15:49] – The socks story and how different life feels once you're regulated
[18:58] – Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn, and how each one shows up
[20:39] – Why your body can't tell a to-do list from a bear
[22:01] – Which survival response dominates, and whether gender or age matters
[24:41] – Why this work is hard for kids and lands better with bought-in adults
[25:28] – Hyperactive, inattentive, and combination types across the lifespan
[26:28] – Where regulation actually starts, and why buy-in comes first
[27:43] – Putting on your dysregulation goggles to see symptoms differently
[29:26] – Giving yourself permission to regulate when survival mode resists it
[32:44] – Physical regulation first: slowing down to signal safety to the body
[35:14] – Potential versus reality and the shoulds that pull you back into panic
[36:50] – The spilled box of gems and dropping the fight with reality in five seconds
[38:27] – Larry's disputed parking charge and staying calm while everyone else panicked
[43:12] – Do people with ADHD have less energy, or is it pouring onto the floor?
[45:13] – Why Jenna's calming tone regulates her own body in real time
[48:14] – How fawning and people pleasing trace back to the amygdala
 
5 Key Takeaways
It's Often Fight or Flight, Not Just ADHD — Many of the symptoms people write off as permanent ADHD traits, the overwhelm, paralysis, and procrastination, are actually a nervous system stuck in survival mode. That part is treatable.
Your Body Can't Tell a To-Do List From a Bear — Under chronic stress, blood flow leaves the prefrontal cortex so you can fight or run, which is exactly why you can't think clearly when you sit down to work.
Buy-In Comes Before Any Technique — Regulation work is uncomfortable because your system thinks its old patterns are keeping you alive. You have to genuinely want the change to push through the resistance.
Start by Physically Slowing Down — Walking instead of rushing, dropping your shoulders, and typing at a reasonable pace all signal safety to the body. Small shifts over time retrain the nervous system far better than fast, intense change.
Stop Fighting With Reality — Shoulds, what-ifs, and "this shshouldn't have happened" throw you straight back into panic. Naming what is real and asking "now what" is one of the fastest ways to calm the system down.
 
Links & Resources
Episode page and all links: https://thedadedge.com/1512
Dad Edge Day with the Arizona Cardinals (November 15, Cardinals vs Rams, State Farm Stadium): https://thedadedge.com/nfl
 
Enjoyed This Episode?
If Jenna's reframing of dysregulation gave you a new way to understand your own brain or your kid's, put one piece of it to work. Catch yourself the next time you're rushing and physically slow down, and notice how quickly your body follows. If the show keeps delivering, follow, rate, and leave a review so more fathers can find these conversations.
This episode discusses ADHD, disordered eating, and mental health. If any of it resonates personally, consider reaching out to a licensed professional who can offer support tailored to you.