The One You Feed | Personal Growth, Emotional Resilience & Purpose

In this episode, David Brooks explores the art of seeing others and being deeply seen, and why our ability to make another person feel truly seen, heard, and understood may be one of the most important skills we can develop. He discusses the power of curiosity, the questions that lead to genuine connection, and how wise friends help us rewrite the stories we tell ourselves. Along the way, David explores loneliness, depression, difficult conversations, and why learning to truly know another person can transform not only our relationships, but our own lives.

Free Guide: Outsmart the Hidden Saboteurs of Self-Control. What’s been holding you back lately? In this free guide, Eric shares the six common saboteurs that quietly derail our best intentions—like autopilot behavior, self-doubt, and emotional escapism—and offers practical strategies to help you regain control and move forward. Download your free copy at oneyoufeed.net/ebook.

Key Takeaways:

Exploration of empathy and its importance in human connection.

Discussion of depression and its impact on individuals and society.

Insights on wisdom and the distinction between wisdom and knowledge.

The significance of meaningful conversation and deep engagement with others.

The concept of "stacking" and the tendency to judge others quickly.

Strategies for deepening conversations and fostering connection.

The role of humility and curiosity in understanding others' perspectives.

Navigating difficult conversations, especially across divides.

The nature of support for those struggling with mental health issues.

Reflections on the joy and meaning found in truly seeing and being seen by others.

For full show notes, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠

If you enjoyed this conversation with David Brooks, check out these other episodes:

Peter Block on Freeing Yourself from Consumer Culture

How Relationships Shape Our Happiness and Well-Being with Robert Waldinger

This episode is sponsored by:

Quince:⁠ Refresh your wardrobe with Quince by going to ⁠Quince.com/feed⁠ for free shipping and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too

⁠Talkiatry⁠⁠⁠⁠ connects you with licensed psychiatrists for personalized, evidence-based mental health care, all online and covered by most major insurance plans. To get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes, visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠Talkiatry.com/FEED.⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠Pebl⁠⁠⁠ – an AI-powered platform that helps companies hire and manage global teams in 185+ countries. Get a free estimate at ⁠⁠⁠hipebl.ai⁠⁠

⁠ZocDoc⁠ - Taking care of your health just got easier – ⁠start here with Zocdoc⁠

⁠Shopify⁠ – The commerce platform that helps you build, grow, and manage your business all in one place. Start your $1/month trial at ⁠shopify.com/feed.⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Tiny Health⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠'s at-home gut health test provides science-backed insights into your microbiome, along with personalized recommendations to help you improve your digestion, energy, and overall well-being. Get $50 off your first test kit at⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ tinyhealth.com/FEED⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠Monarch⁠⁠⁠: Take control of your finances with Monarch, the all-in-one personal finance app that helps you budget, track spending, monitor investments, and work toward your financial goals. Get 50% off your first year of Monarch Core, go to https://www.monarch.com/ and enter Promo Code: FEED

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In this episode, Spencer Greenberg discusses the 12 levers that actually help you change your life and explains why lasting personal growth isn’t about finding a single breakthrough technique—it’s about knowing which tool fits the challenge you’re facing. Drawing from his new book, The 12 Levers: The Complete Psychological Toolkit for Improving Your Life, Spencer shares how nearly 500 self-improvement methods can be organized into 12 core psychological strategies. He also explore habit change, values, fear, acceptance, and thinking more clearly, while showing why understanding the root cause of a problem is often the key to creating meaningful, lasting change.

Free Guide: Outsmart the Hidden Saboteurs of Self-Control. What’s been holding you back lately? In this free guide, Eric shares the six common saboteurs that quietly derail our best intentions—like autopilot behavior, self-doubt, and emotional escapism—and offers practical strategies to help you regain control and move forward. Download your free copy at oneyoufeed.net/ebook.

Key Takeaways:

Why self-improvement techniques can be organized into 12 core psychological levers

How understanding the root cause of a problem leads to more effective change

The ABC method for uncovering the thoughts and beliefs behind difficult emotions

Why analyzing your past successes is one of the most effective ways to build new habits

How identifying your values, priorities, and guiding principles leads to better decisions

Why gradually facing fear is more effective than avoiding it

The difference between accepting reality and approving of it

How resistance often creates more suffering than the problem itself

Practical ways to recognize and challenge distorted thinking

Why personal growth works best as a toolbox—not a search for a single solution

For full show notes, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠

If you enjoyed this conversation with Spencer Greenberg, check out these other episodes:

Tiny Habits for Behavior Change with BJ Fogg

Behavior Change with Dr. John Norcross

How to Integrate Behavior Change with Your Values with Spencer Greenberg

This episode is sponsored by:

Talkiatry⁠⁠⁠ connects you with licensed psychiatrists for personalized, evidence-based mental health care, all online and covered by most major insurance plans. To get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes, visit ⁠⁠⁠Talkiatry.com/FEED.⁠⁠⁠

⁠Pebl⁠⁠ – an AI-powered platform that helps companies hire and manage global teams in 185+ countries. Get a free estimate at ⁠⁠hipebl.ai⁠

ZocDoc - Taking care of your health just got easier – start here with Zocdoc

Shopify – The commerce platform that helps you build, grow, and manage your business all in one place. Start your $1/month trial at shopify.com/feed.

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Tiny Health⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠'s at-home gut health test provides science-backed insights into your microbiome, along with personalized recommendations to help you improve your digestion, energy, and overall well-being. Get $50 off your first test kit at⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ tinyhealth.com/FEED⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠Monarch⁠⁠: Take control of your finances with Monarch, the all-in-one personal finance app that helps you budget, track spending, monitor investments, and work toward your financial goals. Get 50% off your first year of Monarch Core, go to https://www.monarch.com/ and enter Promo Code: FEED

⁠⁠ButcherBox:⁠⁠ Make dinnertime easier with ButcherBox, delivering high-quality 100% grass-fed beef, organic chicken, wild-caught seafood, and more, right to your door. Get $20 off your first box, plus your choice of free ground beef for life or free chicken thighs or top sirloins for a year, with free shipping always. Visit ⁠⁠ButcherBox.com/FEED⁠⁠ to claim your offer.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Dr. Pooja Lakshmin challenges the modern self-care industry and explains why meditation apps, bubble baths, and wellness routines often fail to address the real causes of burnout. She shares a more meaningful approach to well-being, one built on boundaries, self-compassion, values, and power. Pooja also discusses how to let go of guilt, stop chasing perfection, and create a life that reflects what truly matters, even in a world that constantly asks us to do more.

Good Wolf Reminders! A little wisdom, right when you need it. Start receiving free text reminders designed to help you pause, reflect, and take meaningful action. Sign up at⁠ oneyoufeed.net/sms⁠.

Key Takeaways:

Why modern self-care often fails to address the root causes of burnout

The difference between faux self-care and real self-care

How systems and expectations shape our well-being

Why boundaries are essential—not selfish

The hidden role guilt plays in keeping us stuck

Practicing self-compassion without lowering your standards

Aligning your choices with your deepest values

Reclaiming your personal power in everyday decisions

Building sustainable habits that support long-term well-being

Why true self-care helps you show up more fully for yourself and others

For full show notes, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠

If you enjoyed this conversation with Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, check out these other episodes

How to Set Boundaries with Nedra Glover Tawwab

How to Integrate Behavior Change with Your Values with Spencer Greenberg

Crafting a Meaningful Life with Emily Esfahani Smith

This episode is sponsored by:

⁠Shopify⁠ – The commerce platform that helps you build, grow, and manage your business all in one place. Start your $1/month trial at ⁠shopify.com/feed.⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠Tiny Health⁠⁠⁠⁠'s at-home gut health test provides science-backed insights into your microbiome, along with personalized recommendations to help you improve your digestion, energy, and overall well-being. Get $50 off your first test kit at⁠⁠⁠⁠ tinyhealth.com/FEED⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠Monarch⁠: Take control of your finances with Monarch, the all-in-one personal finance app that helps you budget, track spending, monitor investments, and work toward your financial goals. Get 50% off your first year of Monarch Core, go to https://www.monarch.com/ and enter Promo Code: FEED

⁠ButcherBox:⁠ Make dinnertime easier with ButcherBox, delivering high-quality 100% grass-fed beef, organic chicken, wild-caught seafood, and more, right to your door. Get $20 off your first box, plus your choice of free ground beef for life or free chicken thighs or top sirloins for a year, with free shipping always. Visit ⁠ButcherBox.com/FEED⁠ to claim your offer.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Matthew Quick returns to discuss his powerful new memoir, Dad, Love, Me. He explores what it means to choose love after a lifetime of hurt, reflecting on caring for a father who never fully knew how to love him. Along the way, Matthew unpacks how childhood wounds shape us, why healing doesn’t depend on getting the apology we deserve, and how reclaiming our own story can lead to greater compassion, freedom, and meaning, even in relationships marked by deep hurt.

🎉 Patreon Book Giveaway! Matthew’s publisher has generously provided five copies of his new memoir, Dad, Love, Me, for One You Feed listeners! As a thank-you for supporting The One You Feed, all paid Patreon members are automatically entered to win. If you’re not a member yet, it’s a perfect time to join! This is just one of the ways we hope to thank our Patreon community with occasional book giveaways, ad-free episodes, post-show conversations, and more. Join us at oneyoufeed.net/join.

Good Wolf Reminders! A little wisdom, right when you need it. Start receiving free text reminders designed to help you pause, reflect, and take meaningful action. Sign up at oneyoufeed.net/sms.

Key Takeaways:

Why "good" and "bad" aren't enough to understand ourselves

How childhood trauma quietly shapes adult relationships

The deeper pain addiction is often trying to numb

Why we repeat unhealthy relationship patterns

The surprising difference between blame and responsibility

Healing without the apology you've been waiting for

What caring for an aging parent can teach us about ourselves

Why choosing compassion can be more healing than resentment

How telling your own story helps you reclaim your life

For full show notes, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠

If you enjoyed this conversation with Matthew Quick, check out these other episodes:

A Journey to Self-Discovery and Sobriety with Matthew Quick

What We Can Learn From Our Bad Wolf with Matthew Quick

This episode is sponsored by:

Shopify – The commerce platform that helps you build, grow, and manage your business all in one place. Start your $1/month trial at shopify.com/feed.

⁠⁠⁠Tiny Health⁠⁠⁠'s at-home gut health test provides science-backed insights into your microbiome, along with personalized recommendations to help you improve your digestion, energy, and overall well-being. Get $50 off your first test kit at⁠⁠⁠ tinyhealth.com/FEED⁠⁠⁠

Monarch: Take control of your finances with Monarch, the all-in-one personal finance app that helps you budget, track spending, monitor investments, and work toward your financial goals. Get 50% off your first year of Monarch Core, go to https://www.monarch.com/ and enter Promo Code: FEED

ButcherBox: Make dinnertime easier with ButcherBox, delivering high-quality 100% grass-fed beef, organic chicken, wild-caught seafood, and more, right to your door. Get $20 off your first box, plus your choice of free ground beef for life or free chicken thighs or top sirloins for a year, with free shipping always. Visit ButcherBox.com/FEED to claim your offer.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this special episode, we’re sharing Eric’s recent appearance on The Jordan Harbinger Show. Eric joins Jordan to explore the ideas behind his book, How a Little Becomes a Lot, including why lasting change rarely comes from one dramatic breakthrough, how all-or-nothing thinking keeps us stuck, and what it means to build a better life through small, repeatable choices. They also discuss Eric’s journey through addiction and recovery, the hidden forces that derail our best intentions, and how reducing resistance can help us keep moving toward what matters—even when motivation disappears.

Feeling overwhelmed in your life?Check out ⁠Overwhelm is Optional ⁠— a 4-week email course that helps you feel calmer and more grounded without needing to do less. In under 10 minutes a day, you’ll learn simple mindset shifts (called “Still Points”) you can use right inside the life you already have. ⁠Sign up here for only $29!⁠

Key Takeaways:

Eric shares his story of addiction and the small choices that led him to recovery.

Why dramatic turning points matter less than the daily decisions that follow.

The "little by little" approach to creating lasting behavioral change.

How all-or-nothing thinking keeps us stuck—and what works instead.

Why motivation is unreliable and consistency matters more.

Making habits easier by reducing resistance and lowering the barrier to starting.

Breaking big goals into small wins that build momentum.

The six common ways we sabotage our own self-control.

Why changing your actions can reshape your thoughts and emotions.

How flexibility—not perfection—is the key to sustaining change over time.

For full show notes, ⁠⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠!⁠⁠

If you enjoyed this conversation between Jordan Harbinger and Eric Zimmer, check out these other episodes:

How Small Changes Lead to Lasting Transformation in Your Life with Eric Zimmer

How to Make Lasting Changes with John Norcross

This episode is sponsored by:

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠David Protein⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ bars deliver up to 28g of protein for just 150 calories—without sacrificing taste! For a limited time, our listeners can receive this special deal: buy 4 cartons and get the 5th free when you go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.davidprotein.com/FEED⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Talkiatry⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ connects you with licensed psychiatrists for personalized, evidence-based mental health care, all online and covered by most major insurance plans. To get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes, visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Talkiatry.com/FEED.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠Pebl⁠⁠⁠ – an AI-powered platform that helps companies hire and manage global teams in 185+ countries. Get a free estimate at ⁠⁠⁠hipebl.ai⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Alma⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ has a directory of 20,000 therapists with different specialities, life experiences, and identities, and 99% of them take insurance. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠helloalma.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to learn more!

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Quince:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Refresh your wardrobe with Quince by going to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Quince.com/feed⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.

⁠⁠⁠⁠Shopify⁠⁠⁠⁠ – The commerce platform that helps you build, grow, and manage your business all in one place. Start your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/feed.⁠⁠⁠⁠

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Tiny Health⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠'s at-home gut health test provides science-backed insights into your microbiome, along with personalized recommendations to help you improve your digestion, energy, and overall well-being. Get $50 off your first test kit at⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ tinyhealth.com/FEED⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices