Infertility and Imposter Syndrome- When You Wonder If You Really Belong
Infertility and Imposter Syndrome- When You Wonder If You Really Belong Have you ever walked into a room and instantly questioned whether you belonged there? That is exactly what happened to me t at the annual meeting of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) in San Antonio. I was surrounded by fertility doctors, clinic directors, psychologists, and researchers, all experts in reproductive medicine. And for a moment, that familiar voice whispered, Who do you think you are? In this episode, I am taking you behind the scenes of what it felt like to show up as a woman who is childless after infertility in a space that rarely represents us. You will hear how I faced imposter syndrome, found my voice, and ended up speaking on stage about the one topic that almost no one else was addressing: what happens when IVF fails and you leave fertility treatment without a baby. You will learn: Why imposter syndrome often shows up after infertility or IVF fails How to recognize the lies your brain tells you when you start something new The powerful shift that helped me turn self doubt into purpose What happened when fertility doctors lined up to thank me for speaking out How you can use the same coaching tools I did to quiet the voice that says you are not enough If you have ever thought, no one will care what I have to say or I am not qualified to lead this conversation, this episode is your reminder that your story matters. You do not have to be a doctor to create change. You only need to be brave enough to show up. Mentioned in this episode Free Guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You Are Childless And How to Respond Join our community: Childless After Infertility on Skool Learn more about my coaching program: Thrive After Infertility Whether you are sitting in a clinic waiting room or walking into a professional space wondering if you belong, this episode will remind you that your voice is needed. You are not a failed fertility patient. You are a woman who lived through what most people cannot imagine and still found the courage to keep showing up.
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Childless After Infertility: The Shift That Changes Everything
Episode 189 | Childless After Infertility: The Shift That Changes Everything What if you could stop living in regret after infertility and start creating a life that feels amazing to wake up to? In this episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast, Lana Manikowski shares the realization that changed everything: the moment she stopped identifying as a victim of infertility and began shaping a new story for her life after IVF failed. If you have ever wondered whether it is possible to feel fulfilled without motherhood, this episode will show you how. You will learn how to shift your mindset from loss to ownership, reconnect with your body, and rediscover your power to create joy and meaning again, even in a world that revolves around parenthood. 💬 Join My Skool Community: Childless After Infertility If you are ready to move beyond grief and step into growth, come join Childless After Infertility, Lana's new online community for women who are ready to grow beyond the pain of infertility. If you join now it is free! Skool is a private online platform where you can connect, learn, and grow together without the noise, ads, or distractions of social media. It combines the best parts of a classroom and a community so everything we discuss stays focused and meaningful. This is not a support group. It is a growth group for women who want to create what comes next. 👉 Join Childless After Infertility on Skool Explore Coaching that Works: Thrive After Infertility If you are ready for personal support, Thrive After Infertility is Lana's 12-week coaching program that helps you rebuild trust with your body, strengthen your relationships, and create meaningful milestones beyond motherhood. 📘 Free Resource: The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless (and How to Respond) Tired of awkward questions and unsolicited advice? Get your free guide to navigate those conversations with confidence and authenticity. Download it here 🩵 In This Episode, You'll Learn How to stop identifying as a victim of infertility. Why letting go of regret is essential for healing beyond childlessness. The mindset shift that helps you thrive after IVF fails. How to find connection and purpose without motherhood. What makes the Childless After Infertility community different from a support group or Facebook group. 🎧 Listen and Subscribe If you have found the content of this podcast to be helpful, please subscribe to the show and leave a review to help more women find hope and community after infertility. Learn how to leave a podcast rating and review HERE!
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When IVF Fails: How to Ask Your Fertility Clinic for the Support You Still Need
When IVF Fails: How to Ask Your Fertility Clinic for the Support You Still Need When IVF fails, it can feel like your clinic disappears but you still deserve care. In this episode, learn how to ask for what you need from your fertility doctor even after fertility treatment ends. Discover how to advocate for yourself, share resources, and help your clinic better support women who are childless after infertility. If your fertility treatment ended without the baby you dreamed of, you are not alone and you are not forgotten. In this episode of The So Now What Podcast, host Lana Manikowski shares how to ask for what you need from your fertility clinic or doctor even after IVF fails. Whether you are still in treatment, deciding what is next, or already navigating life without children, you will learn how to take action, reclaim your voice, and inspire change inside the fertility industry. You will discover how to ✅ Ask for acknowledgment and emotional support from your clinic even months or years later ✅ Write a compassionate message to your IVF nurse, patient coordinator, or doctor ✅ Share what helped you heal so your feedback can support future patients ✅ Turn pain into purpose and become part of the change in fertility care for women who are childless after infertility When fertility treatment ends without a baby, silence from your clinic can feel like abandonment. But that silence does not mean you were unimportant. It means the system is incomplete. And systems change when you speak up. Lana offers a simple message template you can use to reach out to your clinic and invites you to take one small, brave step toward creating the care you and other women deserve. Your story still matters. You are not invisible. You are part of the change that can make fertility care more human, compassionate, and complete. Mentioned in this episode Listen to Episode 187 IVF Failed A Fertility Doctor's Thoughts About What Happens Next Free Guide The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless and How to Respond Book a Thrive Call to create your plan for thriving after infertility
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IVF Failed: A Fertility Doctor's Thoughts About What Comes Next
IVF Failed: A Fertility Doctor's Thoughts About What Comes Next When IVF fails, both patients and doctors are left asking, "What now?" In this conversation, infertility and life coach Lana Manikowski and fertility doctor Erica Bove, MD, explore what patients wish doctors understood after failed IVF, what doctors feel but rarely say, and how to create support and meaning after infertility. When IVF failed, you were not just handed a result. You were handed decisions with very little support. If you have ever left a fertility clinic wondering whether your fertility doctor truly saw your pain or what to do next, this episode will help you feel seen while considering the language to ask for the support you need. In this conversation, I am joined by Erica Bove, MD, a double board certified OB GYN and Reproductive Endocrinologist at the University of Vermont. She is also the CEO and founder of Love and Science: Thriving Through Infertility. Dr. Bove has experienced both sides of treatment as a fertility doctor and as a fertility patient. Together, we explore what women wish their doctors understood after a failed IVF cycle, what doctors wish their patients knew, and how to create continuity of care when treatment ends without a baby. In this episode, you will learn: How both patients and doctors grieve when IVF does not work and why compassion on both sides matters. The post fertility treatment support you told me you needed most such as exit appointments, follow-up calls, therapy or coaching referrals, peer connection, and resources for life without children. Why many fertility doctors are not trained to deliver difficult news and how clinics can improve communication. How Dr. Bove coaches physicians through their own fertility journeys to help them practice with more empathy and confidence. Ways to redefine meaning and success after infertility so you can create a fulfilling life even if you are childless after infertility. This episode is for you if: You have finished fertility treatment without a baby and are unsure what comes next. You want to feel acknowledged and supported by your fertility doctor and your clinic. You are ready for community and guidance for life after infertility. You are a fertility professional who wants to better understand the patient experience after failed IVF. About Dr. Erica Bove Erica Bove, MD, is a double board-certified OB-GYN and Reproductive Endocrinologist (REI) at the University of Vermont. She is also the CEO and founder of Love and Science: Thriving Through Infertility. Dr. Bove combines an evidence-based approach with intuitive knowing in the context of a trusting relationship. She empowers professional women to build their families with confidence, self-compassion, and community. Her mission is to heal and support the healers and to create a legacy she is proud of. Website: loveandsciencefertility.com. Podcast: loveandsciencefertility.com/podcast. LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/erica-bove-0701a0173. Instagram: instagram.com/loveandsciencefertility. Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=61553692167183. Resources mentioned Love and Science: Thriving Through Infertility. A space for both patients and doctors to find connection and support. Free guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless (and How to Respond). Thrive Call: Book your session to create a plan for what comes next. Key timestamps 00:00 Why this conversation matters when IVF fails. 06:30 What patients wish their fertility doctors knew. 18:40 How clinics can improve post treatment communication. 28:10 What doctors feel when IVF does not work. 36:15 How to find meaning and fulfillment after infertility. You are not behind and you are not alone. Even without children, you can create a life you love and you deserve real support after treatment ends. Listen now to IVF Failed: A Fertility Doctor's Thoughts About What Comes Next.
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When IVF Fails: Your Questions for a Fertility Doctor
When you're going through fertility treatments, you never imagine they will end without a baby. I didn't. I believed that if I tried hard enough, followed every step, and stayed committed, eventually I would have the child I dreamed of. But when IVF failed and motherhood didn't happen, I was completely unprepared and unsupported. That gap, the silence that follows when treatments end without children, is why I became a member of ASRM, the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, and serve in their Mental Health Providers group. In October I am attending the ASRM annual congress with thousands of reproductive Endocrinologists, fertility doctors, IVF nurses, and fertility specialists from around the world. My mission is to make sure the voices of women who are childless after infertility are part of the conversation. For an upcoming podcast episode I will be interviewing a fertility doctor who not only treats patients but has gone through IVF herself. This is your opportunity to shape that conversation. ✨ What do you wish you had received when you left treatments without a baby? ✨ Were you offered support, and if yes what was most helpful? ✨ If you weren't, what do you think would have made the biggest difference? ✨ And what is one question you would love me to ask a fertility doctor about life after treatment? 👉 Share your input here: Fill out the form Your name will never be used on the podcast, but if you'd like me to thank you personally you'll have the option to share your name and email at the end. Your experience matters. What you went through is real, and if I can help bridge your story with the professionals shaping fertility care, we can change the way life after infertility is understood and supported. 🔗 Related Episodes: Ep 147: Support After IVF - What Childless Women Really Want (click here to listen) Ep 146: Finding Closure After IVF (click here to listen) 💜 Free Resource: The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless (and How to Respond) → Click HERE!
I am an infertility survivor—the kind you never hope to become: childless. After enduring multiple rounds of IUI and IVF at some of the leading fertility centers, I was advised to discontinue treatment. When my fertility journey ended, I was offered no resources to help me navigate the reality of an unexpected childless life. I was left asking:
So now what?
In the years that followed, I tried to convince myself I'd be OK, but I wasn't. I felt shattered, alone, and failed—not just by the process but by my own body. I longed for someone who truly understood the pain I felt, a guide to help me navigate a life without children.
But I couldn't find it.
So, I decided to create it.
Today, I am still childless, but I've redefined what that means. I've learned that a meaningful and purposeful life is possible, even without motherhood. I've learned to love myself and embrace the body I once felt had let me down. Through my certification in life coaching and my own transformation, I've discovered tools and insights that helped me thrive—and I'm here to share them with you on The "So Now What?" Podcast.
If you've been on this journey, join me as we build what we were never offered: a sisterhood for the bravest women I know. Together, we'll rewrite the narrative, shedding labels like failed, unexplained, miscarriage, pregnancy loss, not-viable, or advanced maternal age.
Follow me on Instagram: @lana.manikowski for resources, inspiration, and opportunities to live a fulfilling life without the children you dreamed of.
New Zealand