IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

Belonging When You're Infertile and Childless
What happens when fertility treatments end and there's no baby?
It's a question that rarely gets discussed in the infertility world, yet it's the reality so many women face after IVF fails, fertility treatments end, or you make the painful decision to stop trying.
In this episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast, I'm sharing the exact speech I recently gave at the Seeds of Hope Fertility Luncheon.
What made this event especially powerful is that many women in the room ultimately became mothers after infertility. Their stories looked different than mine, but so many came up to me afterward and said:
"I've never thought about what happens when fertility treatment ends without a baby."
And that's exactly why this conversation matters.
If you're infertile and childless, navigating life after IVF failed, or trying to figure out how to rebuild your identity when motherhood didn't happen, this episode will remind you that you still belong.
In this episode, you'll hear:
• Why there's a major gap in fertility care when treatment ends without a live birth.
• Details about the new research study I'm supporting with Northwestern University focused on women whose fertility treatments ended without a baby.
• Why being handed brochures for adoption, donor eggs, or more treatment is not the same as actual support.
• The friendship brunch moment that made me question whether I still belonged.
• Why so many women feel like motherhood is what makes them feel relevant or included in adulthood.
• How one of my clients stopped disappearing from her own life after infertility.
• Why creating new traditions and redefining your future matters when motherhood is no longer part of your path.
• Why I created The Other's Day® for women who need a place to belong around Mother's Day.
• How to stop waiting for life to begin and start creating a life you feel proud of.
Your story may not look like what you planned.
That does not make your life any less meaningful.
And it absolutely does not make you any less worthy of belonging.
Links Mentioned in This Episode
Participate in the Northwestern Research Study This anonymous survey is open worldwide for women whose fertility treatments ended without a live birth. It takes about 20 minutes. https://redcap.nubic.northwestern.edu/redcap/surveys/?s=LM4TX4MJN3HRR7ER
Get Tickets to The Other's Day® (May 8–9 in Chicago) Friday: The Foundation (yoga, guided meditation + sound bath) Saturday: The Other's Day® Brunch Attend one event or both. https://lanamanikowski.com/othersday
Read Chapter 1 of "So Now What?" https://lana-manikowski.myflodesk.com/chapter1
Buy "So Now What?" https://www.lanamanikowski.com/book
Free Guide: Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless https://lana-manikowski.myflodesk.com/thingspeoplesay
Book a Thrive Call https://calendly.com/lanamanikowski/strategy-session
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TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@lana.manikowski
YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@lana.manikowski
 
If this episode resonated with you, share it with another woman navigating infertility, IVF failed cycles, or life after fertility treatments end.
And if you haven't already, please rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts and Spotify so more women searching for support after infertility can find this conversation.
I hope you have a beautiful week. I love you, and remember that it's never too late to discover your meaning. I'll talk to you next week.

If you've ever felt like friendships got harder after infertility, you're not imagining it.
When IVF failed and your life didn't include children, you didn't just lose the dream of motherhood. You also lost the built-in ways friendships often form.
No school drop-offs.
No sports schedules.
No automatic community.
So now you're left wondering… how do you actually make meaningful friendships as a childless woman?
In this episode, you hear a real, honest conversation about what it looks like to create connection when your life doesn't follow the traditional path.
💛 What You'll Learn in This Episode
Why friendships can feel more complicated when you're childless after infertility

The hidden ways IVF failed can impact your sense of belonging

How to form real friendships with other childless women, even online

The key to building connection as an adult

What it looks like to turn Instagram connections into real-life friendships

How to stop waiting for connection and start creating it

🌿 Meet Melissa Miller @autoimmuneresilience on IG
Melissa Miller joins this episode to share her experience of becoming childless not by choice after years of infertility, IVF, and surrogacy.
After leaving fertility treatments without a baby, she found herself asking the same question so many women do:
Where are the others like me?
What she discovered was a community of women who are building full, connected, meaningful lives without children and creating friendships that feel just as deep, if not deeper, than the ones they expected to have.
✨ The Other's Day® — Chicago (May 8–9, 2026)
If you've been craving connection with other women who don't have kids, this is where it happens.
The Other's Day® is a two-day experience created specifically for women who are childless, whether by choice or not, to feel welcomed, connected, and completely themselves.
🌿 Friday, May 8 — The Foundation
A restorative evening designed to help you arrive into Other's Day weekend feeling grounded and supported.
You'll experience:
Beginner-friendly yoga

Guided meditation

A sound bath experience

🥂 Saturday, May 9 — The Other's Day® Brunch in Chicago
The signature experience where women gather, connect, and leave feeling like they belong.
You'll walk into a room where:
No one asks if you have kids

No one assumes your life is easier

You don't have to explain your story

👉 Get your Chicago tickets here:
https://lanamanikowski.com/othersday/
🌿 Seattle Other's Day® Brunch (Hosted by Melissa Miller) 
Seattle gathering is hosted by Melissa Miller, an Other's Day® Ambassador bringing this experience to the Pacific Northwest.
📅 Date: May 9, 2026
⏰ Time: 11:00 AM – 2:00 PM
📍 Location: The Locöl Kitchen & Bar
7902 35th Ave SW
West Seattle
You'll enjoy a private brunch experience with meaningful connection, great food, and a room full of women who understand life without children.
👉 Reserve your spot in Seattle:
https://lana-manikowski.myflodesk.com/seattlebrunch
🔗 Resources & Links
Chicago Other's Day® Tickets: https://lanamanikowski.com/othersday/

Seattle Other's Day® Brunch: https://lana-manikowski.myflodesk.com/seattlebrunch

Free Guide: Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless
👉 Get the free guide here: https://lana-manikowski.myflodesk.com/thingspeoplesay

Book: "So Now What?"
👉 Learn more or grab your copy: https://www.lanamanikowski.com/book

💬 A Thought to Take With You
Friendships don't have to look the way you thought they would.
You don't need kids to create meaningful, lasting connections.
Sometimes it starts with a message.
Sometimes it starts with showing up.
🎧 Loved This Episode?
Follow the podcast so you don't miss what's next.
And if this episode resonated, share it with another woman navigating life after IVF failed who's ready to feel more connected.

If you went through IVF or fertility treatments and didn't leave with a baby, you already know this part of the story.
The treatments end… and then what?
No follow-up. No plan. No one checking in to ask how you're doing after years of trying.
In this episode, you hear the truth that so many women experience but rarely say out loud. When fertility treatment ends without a baby, you are often left to figure out your life on your own.
You'll hear why this gap in care exists, how it impacts women who are childless after infertility, and most importantly, how you now have the opportunity to help change it.
This episode introduces a research study from Northwestern University that is focused on understanding what actually happens after fertility treatment ends without a live birth.
Because your experience matters. And it's time it was counted.
💡 In This Episode, You'll Hear:
What really happens after IVF failed and treatment ends
Why women who are childless after infertility are often left without support
The gap in fertility care that no one is tracking or measuring
How your experience can directly influence future patient care
Why taking 20 minutes to share your story can create real change
🎯 Why This Matters for You
You spent years navigating fertility treatments, appointments, and uncertainty.
When it ended, you were expected to move on without guidance.
This study is your chance to make sure that experience is no longer ignored.
When your voice is included in research, it helps shape how clinics support women in the future so they are not left asking the same question you once did:
So now what?
🔗 Take the Survey
If this is your experience, take the survey today.
👉 https://redcap.nubic.northwestern.edu/redcap/surveys/?s=LM4TX4MJN3HRR7ER
💛 Resources for You
✨ Download: The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless (and How to Respond) Get the free guide here: https://lana-manikowski.myflodesk.com/thingspeoplesay
✨ Book a Thrive Call https://calendly.com/lanamanikowski/strategy-session
✨ Read Chapter 1 of "So Now What?" https://lana-manikowski.myflodesk.com/chapter1
📊 RESEARCH STUDY — Participants Invited
Northwestern University researchers are conducting a research study to understand the experiences and support needs of women whose fertility treatment ended without a live birth.
Study: "A Needs Assessment of Women Who Remain Childless Following Infertility Treatment" IRB #: STU00225720 Principal Investigator: Susan C. Klock, PhD
You may be eligible if you: • Are 18+ years old and were biologically female at birth • Previously underwent fertility treatment without a live birth • Are currently childless and not planning additional treatment • Can read and understand English
Participation: • Confidential online survey (~20 minutes) • Voluntary • No compensation
Take the survey: https://redcap.nubic.northwestern.edu/redcap/surveys/?s=LM4TX4MJN3HRR7ER
Questions? Alexandra Herweck, MD, MPH | [email protected] PI: Susan C. Klock, PhD | 312-695-9939
This is a research study conducted through Northwestern University. This study has been reviewed and approved by the Northwestern University Institutional Review Board.

Rebuilding Trust With Your Body After Infertility When IVF Failed (with Holly Perkins)
When IVF failed and fertility treatments ended without a baby, you did not just lose a dream. You often lost trust in your body.
After years of hormones, medical procedures, weight changes, and emotional whiplash, it can feel almost impossible to want to care for yourself again. Movement can feel loaded. Exercise can feel like punishment. And sometimes the quiet thought underneath it all is:
Why should I take care of you?
In Episode 200, you are getting a grounded, practical conversation about rebuilding your relationship with your body after infertility.
You will hear from Holly Perkins, a women's fitness expert with 30 years of experience helping women build strength through science-backed, sustainable approaches designed for women in their 30s, 40s, and beyond. This is not about chasing a smaller number on the scale. This is about strength, muscle, metabolism, bone health, and feeling better in your body after everything it has been through.
If caring for your body has felt complicated since IVF failed, this episode is for you.
What You Will Learn
Why it makes sense that self-care feels hard after fertility treatments end.

How emotional healing and physical strength support each other.

Why "just lose weight" is not the right goal after hormone disruption.

What happens to muscle and metabolism in your 40s and 50s.

Why muscle is more important than the scale for long-term health.

How strength training supports bone density and aging well.

What a realistic starting point looks like when you have felt disconnected from your body.

A Message You Might Need to Hear
You are not broken because it feels hard to care for your body right now.
When IVF failed, your body can start to feel like the enemy. This conversation helps you shift from punishment to partnership so you can rebuild trust in a way that feels steady and sustainable.
Join Holly's Free 3-Day Workshop: Muscle for Life
If you are ready for practical guidance on building strength in a way that fits your life, Holly is offering a free 3-day workshop called Muscle for Life. It starts March 5, 2026!
Inside the workshop, you will learn:
Why BMI and body weight are outdated metrics.

How to think about muscle-to-fat ratio instead of just the scale.

The strength training principles that matter most for women over 30.

How to support bone density and long-term health.

Nutrition strategies that support blood sugar, energy, and metabolism.

You can register for FREE here:
👉 https://www.hollyperkins.com/lana
This is the direct link to save your seat.
About Holly Perkins
Holly Perkins, BS, CSCS, CISSN is an established expert and thought leader in women's health. For 30 years, she has guided thousands of women through physical performance, nutrition, and mindset management. She is the author of Lift to Get Lean, and her upcoming book Muscle & Bone will be released in early 2026.
Additional Resources
Free guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless (and How to Respond) Get it here: https://lanamanikowski.com/thingspeoplesay
If this episode resonated with you, subscribe to The "So Now What?" Podcast so you do not miss what is coming next. You can rebuild trust with your body after infertility when IVF failed. And you can do it without turning your life into another thing to perfect.
I hope you have a beautiful week. I love you, and remember that it's never too late to discover your meaning. I'll talk to you next week!