IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

Rebuilding Trust With Your Body After Infertility When IVF Failed (with Holly Perkins)
When IVF failed and fertility treatments ended without a baby, you did not just lose a dream. You often lost trust in your body.
After years of hormones, medical procedures, weight changes, and emotional whiplash, it can feel almost impossible to want to care for yourself again. Movement can feel loaded. Exercise can feel like punishment. And sometimes the quiet thought underneath it all is:
Why should I take care of you?
In Episode 200, you are getting a grounded, practical conversation about rebuilding your relationship with your body after infertility.
You will hear from Holly Perkins, a women's fitness expert with 30 years of experience helping women build strength through science-backed, sustainable approaches designed for women in their 30s, 40s, and beyond. This is not about chasing a smaller number on the scale. This is about strength, muscle, metabolism, bone health, and feeling better in your body after everything it has been through.
If caring for your body has felt complicated since IVF failed, this episode is for you.
What You Will Learn
Why it makes sense that self-care feels hard after fertility treatments end.

How emotional healing and physical strength support each other.

Why "just lose weight" is not the right goal after hormone disruption.

What happens to muscle and metabolism in your 40s and 50s.

Why muscle is more important than the scale for long-term health.

How strength training supports bone density and aging well.

What a realistic starting point looks like when you have felt disconnected from your body.

A Message You Might Need to Hear
You are not broken because it feels hard to care for your body right now.
When IVF failed, your body can start to feel like the enemy. This conversation helps you shift from punishment to partnership so you can rebuild trust in a way that feels steady and sustainable.
Join Holly's Free 3-Day Workshop: Muscle for Life
If you are ready for practical guidance on building strength in a way that fits your life, Holly is offering a free 3-day workshop called Muscle for Life. It starts March 5, 2026!
Inside the workshop, you will learn:
Why BMI and body weight are outdated metrics.

How to think about muscle-to-fat ratio instead of just the scale.

The strength training principles that matter most for women over 30.

How to support bone density and long-term health.

Nutrition strategies that support blood sugar, energy, and metabolism.

You can register for FREE here:
👉 https://www.hollyperkins.com/lana
This is the direct link to save your seat.
About Holly Perkins
Holly Perkins, BS, CSCS, CISSN is an established expert and thought leader in women's health. For 30 years, she has guided thousands of women through physical performance, nutrition, and mindset management. She is the author of Lift to Get Lean, and her upcoming book Muscle & Bone will be released in early 2026.
Additional Resources
Free guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless (and How to Respond) Get it here: https://lanamanikowski.com/thingspeoplesay
If this episode resonated with you, subscribe to The "So Now What?" Podcast so you do not miss what is coming next. You can rebuild trust with your body after infertility when IVF failed. And you can do it without turning your life into another thing to perfect.
I hope you have a beautiful week. I love you, and remember that it's never too late to discover your meaning. I'll talk to you next week!

When you're childless after IVF failed, life can look steady on the outside.
You go to work. You answer emails. You show up to events. You keep functioning.
But inside, something feels different.
You might find yourself thinking, "I don't know how to enjoy being me anymore."
When fertility treatments end without a baby, people assume the hardest part is over. The injections stop. The appointments end. The constant waiting slows down.
But when you're childless after IVF failed, this is often when the identity questions begin.
Who am I now? What does my future look like? How do I build a meaningful life when motherhood didn't happen?
In this episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast, we talk about:
Why life can feel directionless after IVF failed

What disenfranchised grief really means when you never had a positive pregnancy test

Why comparison feels louder when you are childless after infertility

How grief quietly takes up space in everyday moments

Why performing strength keeps you disconnected from yourself

Small, practical ways to rebuild trust and enjoyment

When you're childless after IVF failed, your grief is valid.
Even if there was never a pregnancy. Even if there was never a baby to hold. Even if no one around you recognizes it as a loss.
Enjoying being you again does not mean you are leaving the dream of motherhood behind.
It means you are learning how to live alongside what you lost.
You are allowed to feel steadiness. You are allowed to feel relief. You are allowed to build something meaningful in this life.
Join Me in Chicago: The Other's Day® Brunch
If you're ready to connect with other women who are also childless after infertility, The Other's Day® Brunch was created for you.
Happening May 8–9 in Chicago, this two-day experience is designed specifically for women without children. It's about connection, meaning, and walking into a room where no one asks how many kids you have.
Learn more here: 👉 https://lanamanikowski.com/othersday
Free Guide: What to Say When You're Childless
If you are tired of awkward comments and unsolicited advice about becoming a mom, download your free copy of:
The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless (and How to Respond)
Get it here: 👉 https://lana-manikowski.myflodesk.com/thingspeoplesay
When you're childless after IVF failed, your story is not over.
You are still becoming. You are still building. And you are still allowed to enjoy being you.

When IVF ends without a baby, life does not always fall apart.
Sometimes it goes quiet.
You may still be showing up to work, keeping plans, and getting through your days, yet something feels off. You are functioning, but not fully connected to your life.
In this episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast, you are introduced to the concept of a grief plateau and why it is so common for women who are childless not by choice after infertility and IVF failed.
A grief plateau explains why life can feel paused after fertility treatments end. Not dramatic grief. Not constant sadness. But a flat, stuck feeling that is hard to name and even harder to explain to others.
This episode helps you understand what may be happening beneath the surface and why it makes sense, given everything you have been through.
In this episode, you will learn:
What a grief plateau is and how it shows up after IVF failed.

Why many women feel "off" after infertility even when life looks fine on the outside.

How years of fertility treatments affect your body, brain, and sense of safety.

Why staying busy, feeling numb, or avoiding big dreams can be a form of protection.

How losing the dream of motherhood can leave your future feeling unclear.

Why understanding where you are matters before trying to move forward.

This episode is for you if:
You left fertility treatments without a baby and feel disconnected from yourself.

Life feels stuck or paused after IVF failed.

You are tired of being told to move on or look on the bright side.

You want language that makes sense of life after infertility.

This is not an episode about fixing yourself or rushing into a new version of life. It is about naming an experience many women have but rarely hear explained.
Resource mentioned in this episode:
Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless and How to Respond A free guide to help you navigate uncomfortable comments and advice after infertility. Get the free guide here.
If life feels quiet after IVF failed and you do not know why, this episode will help you understand what you may be standing in right now.

Childfree or Childless? You Get to Decide What That Means
If you don't have kids, you've probably noticed the words childfree and childless everywhere.
They show up on social media, in podcasts, in articles, in movies, and in conversations about women's lives after infertility. And even if no one has ever asked you directly how you identify, you've likely felt something when you hear those terms used.
Maybe you pause.
Maybe you feel tension.
Maybe you think, I don't know how I feel about that.
In this episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast, you slow that moment down and look at what's really happening underneath the words.
This conversation is not about choosing the "right" label. It is about understanding the meaning you are giving to the terms childfree and childless, and deciding whether that meaning actually supports the woman you are becoming after infertility or IVF did not result in a child.
You explore why identity feels so tender after fertility treatments end, why language can feel so loaded, and how a single word can start to feel like it is being asked to explain your grief, your growth, your peace, and your future all at once.
In this episode, you will hear:
Why the term childfree can feel empowering for some women and completely misaligned for others.

Why the word childless can feel truthful while still carrying old stories of disappointment or being perceived as less than.

How some women reclaim their lives without kids by changing the word they use.

How other women reclaim their lives without kids by keeping the same word and changing what it means to them.

Why you are not reacting to the word itself, but to the meaning you believe the word gives you.

How you get to decide how much power any label has over you.

You will also hear Lana share why she personally identifies as childless, and how that word honors the truth of wanting motherhood while still reflecting a full, meaningful life without children.
Most importantly, this episode reminds you that whether you identify as childfree or childless, you have permission to feel proud of the woman you are. Proud of how you kept going. Proud of how you learned to hold complexity. Proud of the life you are building, even if it looks different than you once imagined.
You are not your terminology.
You are not unfinished.
You are not behind.
You are not less than.
You are whole.
Links and Resources Mentioned in This Episode
The Other's Day® Brunch
A beautiful, connective event for women without children, happening May 9, with a special Friday night experience added this year.
Check for updates or join the waitlist here:
👉 https://lanamanikowski.com/othersday
Free Resource: Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless and How to Respond
If you have ever found yourself navigating unsolicited advice, intrusive questions, or "helpful" suggestions about becoming a mom, this guide is for you.
Download it for free here:
👉 https://lanamanikowski.com/thingspeoplesay
If this episode resonated with you, make sure you are subscribed to The "So Now What?" Podcast so you do not miss future conversations about navigating life after infertility and building a meaningful, grounded future without the children you dreamed of.
I hope you have a beautiful week. I love you, and remember that it is never too late to discover your meaning.

What Happens When the Future You Planned Doesn't Happen
When fertility treatments end without a baby, you don't just grieve the child you hoped for. You grieve the future you were building your life around.
In this episode of The So Now What? Podcast, you explore post-traumatic growth after infertility and why it matters for women who are childless not by choice. Not in a toxic-positivity way. Not as a lesson you were supposed to learn. But as a way to understand what happens after years of trying, waiting, and living in a fertility holding pattern.
If you've ever thought, I'm not the same person I was before IVF, this episode helps you understand why—and what becomes possible next.
In this episode, you'll hear:
Why infertility and fertility treatments do count as trauma, even if no one ever named it that way

How years of IVF, IUI, medical procedures, and waiting shaped your nervous system and identity

Why the end of fertility treatments feels so disorienting, not just sad

What post-traumatic growth actually means and what it does not mean

The seismic "rebuild" moment that happens when the life you planned no longer exists

The five areas where post-traumatic growth often shows up after infertility

Why growth is optional, not required, and only happens when you feel safe enough

How to move forward without erasing your dream of motherhood or minimizing what you endured

What it looks like to find a starting point again after the fertility holding pattern ends

Why post-traumatic growth matters after infertility
You didn't go through infertility to grow. You didn't suffer for a reason. And you don't need to reframe your loss to justify moving forward.
Post-traumatic growth simply explains what happens when your assumptions about the future break and you're left asking, So now what?
This episode helps you see that wanting forward movement does not mean you're forgetting what mattered. It means you're ready to stop living in permanent disappointment and start building a life that feels connected, grounded, and meaningful—on your terms.
Thrive After Infertility
This episode reflects the core work you do inside Thrive After Infertility, the coaching program created for women who have completed fertility treatments and are ready to stop feeling incomplete because fertility treatments failed.
Inside Thrive, you learn how to:
Move out of the fertility holding pattern

Reconnect with your body and nervous system

Navigate relationships in a world full of parents

Create meaning and direction for the decades ahead

Growth doesn't come from time passing. It comes from learning how to intentionally rebuild after loss.
Free resource mentioned in this episode
If you've ever been told, "You can always adopt," or "Everything happens for a reason," and didn't know how to respond, download the free guide:
The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless (and How to Respond) 👉 Get the free guide here: lana-manikowski.com/thingspeoplesay