You think you're being nice. Accommodating. A good partner.
But here's the truth: people-pleasing is killing your relationship. Every time you don't speak up because you're afraid of conflict, you're building distance. Every time you sacrifice and keep a mental scorecard, you're choosing resentment over love.
Distance is not love.
In this episode, Tracy gets raw about what really blocks intimacy—and it's not your partner's annoying habits. It's your refusal to own your feelings, speak your truth, and stop expecting the other person to make everything perfect. Using a real example from her own marriage (spoiler: it's about morning routines and walking the dogs), Tracy breaks down why speaking up isn't about changing your partner—it's about valuing yourself.
In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why people-pleasing is manipulation, not love
* How to speak your truth without expecting your partner to change
* The difference between accommodation and sacrifice
* Why you need to stop punishing yourself (and your partner)
* How to accept that you can disagree and still be together
"If you expect the other person to take care of you emotionally, you're going to be [upset] all the time. I don't feel like living that way." ~ Tracy Crossley
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26:44
#826: Blocking Love from Your Life (Part 1)
Are you waiting for someone to change? Expecting a relationship to finally fill that emptiness inside?
You're blocking love. And you don't even know it.
Most of us grew up without a manual on how to actually build a relationship. We watched dysfunction. We learned to attach instead of love. We created expectations that keep us stuck.
And here's the kicker: nothing outside of you will ever fill you up.
In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why your childhood conditioning blocks your ability to love as an adult
* How expectations and entitlement destroy intimacy
* The difference between living in reality versus fantasy about relationships
* Why perfection is just another way of avoiding yourself
* Her own mother as a mirror for what blocking love looks like
* How to stop manipulating situations to get what you want
* The four key steps to opening yourself to real love
"Expectations block love. Every sense of entitlement you have blocks love." ~ Tracy Crossley
This is part one of two. If you keep ending up in the same relationship patterns and can't figure out why—this is your wake-up call.
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#825: Not Being Enough (REBROADCAST)
Does it feel like you're constantly striving to be enough but never quite reaching that point? Maybe you've been told that the key to feeling worthy is to keep achieving more and more, but deep down, you still struggle with feelings of inadequacy. The pain of not feeling like you're good enough can impact every aspect of your life, from relationships to work and your overall well-being. If you're tired of constantly chasing validation and want to experience greater self-acceptance and inner peace, then keep listening.
In this episode, you will be able to:
* Embrace self-acceptance and inner peace for a more fulfilling life.
* Explore the impact of not feeling enough and unlock your true potential.
* Begin your journey towards self-love and find inner contentment.
* Address limiting beliefs for personal transformation and growth.
* Discover the importance of emotional exploration and awareness for a more balanced life.
"You're here to take up space, meaning to be you, to be with who you are right now in this moment. Why? Because you're opening your future up to be amazing then, because that is how magic happens." ~ Tracy Crossley
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25:46
#824: Attachment is Greed, Not Love
Think attachment is about love? It's not. It's about greed, power, and control. Whether you're hoarding love, money, or status—it all comes from the same place: feeling empty inside and thinking that getting the thing will finally make you whole.
We excuse behavior in others when we think it benefits us. We make our lives complicated with our own bureaucracy—rules and patterns that keep us stuck on a merry-go-round of grasping for control we never had.
In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why attachment is really about greed and scarcity, not love
* How hoarding (love, money, status) comes from feeling hollow
* The difference between attachment and actual love
* Living from the inside out instead of filling yourself from the outside in
* Taking emotional risks instead of grasping for control
"We excuse the behavior in others when we think it somehow benefits us." ~ Tracy Crossley
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#823: What If...
You know what we all do? We look at people through the filter of what we want them to be. Your parents. Your kids. Your partner. Even yourself.
We're so busy projecting our expectations, our fears, our own experiences onto everyone else that we never actually see them. And here's the kicker—they can't see you either. Not really. Not if you can't see yourself.
This isn't about getting people to understand you. It's about getting curious—about them, about yourself—without the agenda of trying to fix or control the outcome.
In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why learning who someone is matters more than trying to change them
* How your judgment of others is really about your own fear
* The difference between seeing someone and wanting validation from them
* Why shame keeps you separate even when you're in a relationship
* What it means to feel your feelings without running from the anxiety
"We judge others out of fear." ~ Tracy Crossley
A lot of us live in our head, disconnected from our feelings and intuition. This podcast touches on releasing insecure attachment, accepting your authentic self and getting “unstuck” by connecting to how you FEEL instead of how you THINK. I’ve been there, and discuss sensitive subjects using my own experiences with a lot of laughs and even more empathy… because we’re all flawed humans.
New Zealand