Feminist Wellness

Tenderoni Hotline #23: If you know you’re a people pleaser but cannot seem to stop, this episode is for you. In this Tenderoni Hotline, I answer two listener questions that go straight to the heart of emotional outsourcing and nervous system healing.

First: “I know I’m a people pleaser. How do I stop?” We explore why people pleasing is not a personality flaw or lack of boundaries. It is a nervous system adaptation. When connection felt conditional, your body learned to scan, adjust, perform, and prioritize others to stay safe. That strategy was brilliant. And now it may be exhausting.

Then we move into a second question from a listener with CPTSD who shared that words like safe, belonging, and worthy feel abstract or unreachable in their body. If that resonates, you are not alone. Nervous systems do not organize around concepts. They organize around lived experience. So we unpack what “safe enough” actually means in relational terms, how belonging often gets confused with self-erasure, and why worth is less about self-esteem and more about non-abandonment.

This work is not about forcing calm or becoming unbothered. It is about learning to stay with yourself when tension arises. It is about building safety from the inside out so you no longer have to abandon yourself to stay connected.

You are not broken. You adapted. And you can learn something new my love.

Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected]

Learn more about my courses and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/courses

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

#368: Are you the one who’s not frozen… but furious? The one whose rage erupts at the dinner table, at work, in organizing spaces, because you are done watching injustice slide by? What if your rage is valid, but not always effective?

In this episode, I talk directly to the firebrands. I break down what happens in your nervous system when rage takes over, how sympathetic activation shuts down strategic thinking, and why constant eruption can isolate you instead of building power. I explore how rage and emotional outsourcing are connected, and how reacting from activation keeps you just as hijacked as freezing does.

You’ll learn how to recognize when rage is righteous and when it’s discharge, how to regulate without suppressing your anger, and how to channel your rage strategically. I share practical ways to stay connected to your values while deciding when to disrupt, when to educate, and when to walk away. Your rage is fuel. Let’s learn how to direct it.

Click here to check out Anchored: https://beatrizalbina.com/anchored/

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/368

Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Grab my book, End Emotional Outsourcing!
Please support my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing, by ordering a copy and reviewing it on Amazon or GoodReads! You can leave a review even if you bought it somewhere else. Bring your screenshot to: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ for gifts and raffle goodies. Thank you for helping this work ripple out.
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Tenderoni Hotline #22: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of the Feminist Wellness Podcast, where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and returning home to yourself.

Today’s episode holds two powerful questions. First, how do you use grounding and orienting when a space is not actually safe? What does nervous system regulation look like for queer folks, BIPOC folks, and anyone navigating real socio-political threat? If hypervigilance has helped keep you alive, are you supposed to just breathe deeper and calm down?

Then we turn to another question. Why do high-achieving, successful, respected professionals still struggle to trust themselves? Why does approval seeking persist even when you have built a career, a reputation, and a life that looks solid on paper?

Together, we explore the difference between grounding and orienting, and why neither is about pretending you are safe when you are not. We talk about how to stay responsive instead of reactive in spaces that carry risk, how emotional outsourcing develops in the nervous system, and why marginalized bodies cannot simply think their way into safety.

We also unpack how self-trust gets wired or not wired in early relational experiences, how patriarchy and capitalism reward being chosen over being known, and why the very skills that make you professionally competent can quietly erode your embodied sense of worth.

You will learn why grounding is not about forcing calm, why hypervigilance is not pathology but adaptation, and how self-trust is built through lived moments of centering yourself without the world collapsing. As always, we keep it practical. You will walk away with small, doable practices to begin shifting from external validation toward embodied self-trust, without shame and without overwhelm.

So go ahead and get cozy. I’m so glad you’re here, my tenderoni.

Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected]

Learn more about my courses and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/courses

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Grab my book, End Emotional Outsourcing!
Please support my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing, by ordering a copy and reviewing it on Amazon or GoodReads! You can leave a review even if you bought it somewhere else. Bring your screenshot to: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ for gifts and raffle goodies. Thank you for helping this work ripple out.
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#367: Have you ever felt that deep yes in your body about speaking up, protesting, or naming injustice… and then frozen the moment someone showed disapproval? What if learning to unfreeze isn’t just about personal healing, but essential for collective liberation?
In this episode, I explore how emotional outsourcing keeps us frozen when our values are calling us forward. I break down what happens in your nervous system when disapproval feels like a survival threat, why your amygdala overrides your moral clarity, and how the freeze response makes you disappear energetically even when you’re still in the room. This isn’t about cowardice. It’s about conditioning.

Tune in today to learn how to recognize freeze in real time, how to resource your nervous system to unfreeze, why small acts of authenticity build courage, and why community is essential for collective liberation. I also share practical steps to honor your values without collapsing into fear and how choosing integrity over comfort becomes revolutionary, one micro choice at a time.
Click here to check out Anchored: https://beatrizalbina.com/anchored/
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/367

Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Grab my book, End Emotional Outsourcing!
Please support my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing, by ordering a copy and reviewing it on Amazon or GoodReads! You can leave a review even if you bought it somewhere else. Bring your screenshot to: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ for gifts and raffle goodies. Thank you for helping this work ripple out.
EEO Pre-Sale

Tenderoni Hotline #21: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of the Feminist Wellness Podcast, where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and returning home to yourself.

In today’s episode, we’re unpacking a question that comes up all the time in somatic spaces, yoga classes, and Instagram infographics: Are emotions really stored in the hips? Together, we’ll get curious about where this idea comes from, how it gets flattened into oversimplified slogans, and what’s actually happening in your body when those hips feel tight, tender, or tear-filled.

We’ll talk about the difference between emotional release and emotional resolution, what the nervous system has to do with chronic muscle bracing, and why fascia, stress, and safety are central to understanding what your body is trying to tell you.

And because you know I love the science and the woo, we’ll explore the origins of this concept across different systems, from somatic psychology to Traditional Chinese Medicine, Ayurveda, and Indigenous frameworks, with care, nuance, and zero appropriation.

You’ll walk away with a clearer understanding of why this myth persists, how your body actually processes emotional pain, and why healing isn’t about “extracting” emotion but expanding your capacity to feel, soften, and stay present with yourself.

So go ahead and get cozy. I’m so glad you’re here.

Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected]

Learn more about Anchored and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/anchored

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Grab my book, End Emotional Outsourcing!
Please support my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing, by ordering a copy and reviewing it on Amazon or GoodReads! You can leave a review even if you bought it somewhere else. Bring your screenshot to: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ for gifts and raffle goodies. Thank you for helping this work ripple out.
EEO Pre-Sale