Feminist Wellness

Tenderoni Hotline #51: You can spot when someone's being lousy to other people from 3 miles away. You're like an emotional bloodhound who knows when your friend is lying, when your coworker is stressed, when your mom is about to lose it. But when someone hurts you, you suddenly need a jury of 12 of your peers to confirm that what just happened was actually messed up and maybe it's okay for you to be hurt.

This habit of emotional outsourcing at its most painful means you're literally giving away your right to trust your own experience and handing it over to the person who hurt you, random friends, or the internet.

This is such a crucial part of what I teach in my book, End Emotional Outsourcing. In the book, you'll learn about the nervous system science behind why you doubt yourself, plus, of course, somatic body-based practices to help you reconnect with your body's wisdom.

Order the book now at https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: podcast@beatrizalbina.com

Learn more about my courses and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/courses

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

#402: Are you exhausted by how incompetent everyone around you seems, yet somehow still feel responsible for making sure everything gets done? What if your irritation isn't simply a personality flaw, but a response to everything you were expected to carry as a child?

In this episode, I explore the eldest daughter role, which isn't necessarily about birth order. It's about being the child who learned to anticipate everyone's needs, manage the household, and never need too much herself. I look at how this role can develop into emotional outsourcing, perfectionism, hypervigilance, and a deep exhaustion that rest alone can't fix.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/402

Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!
You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you.

Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/signalsandsafety
Nervous System Signals and Safety

Tenderoni Hotline #50: Your value isn't in your productivity. That uncomfortable feeling when you stop moving, stop doing, stop managing everyone else's life? That's not laziness talking. It's the voice of a nervous system that learned early on that being needed equals being safe.

Your actual people want you to rest. They want you to have needs, wants, preferences. They want to take care of you sometimes too. And all of this is exactly what I break down in my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing.

Order the book now at https://beatrizalbina.com/book

Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: podcast@beatrizalbina.com

Learn more about my courses and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/courses

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

#401: What happens when your good intentions leave someone you love feeling unheard? When you keep offering suggestions, asking if they're sure, or trying to convince them to change their mind, even after they've given you a clear answer?

In this episode, I explore the role of the pusher and how emotional outsourcing can lead us to manage other people's choices because of our own discomfort, anxiety, or fear of not mattering. I look at why we sometimes mistake being useful for being loved, and how repeated attempts to help can erode trust and create distance in our relationships.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/401

Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
Mentioned in this episode:
Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!
You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you.

Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/signalsandsafety
Nervous System Signals and Safety

Tenderoni Hotline #49: This episode explores how childhood messages about being "too much" create lifelong patterns of self-shrinking that affect every area of your life. When you spend years making yourself smaller to fit other people's comfort levels, you lose track of where you end and their expectations begin.

But what if I told you that's a lie? What if I told you that the right people are starving for your realness? What if I told you that your "too much" is actually someone else's "just right?" What if you're not too much at all? What if you've just been around people who are too small for your bigness?

This is exactly why I wrote End Emotional Outsourcing, to help you stop apologizing for who you are and start celebrating your fullest self.

Order the book now at https://beatrizalbina.com/book

Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: podcast@beatrizalbina.com

Learn more about my courses and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/courses

Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en