The StrongHER Side Project

Kate Ivey is the founder of Kate Ivey Fitness a thriving online fitness platform operating across New Zealand and Australia. She runs a rural farm in the South Island of New Zealand with her husband and three teenagers, including her 15 year old daughter Olivia who has autism.

Behind the successful business is a journey most people never see.

Kate has navigated the heartbreak of watching her daughter struggle in mainstream school, made the impossible decision to homeschool, and spent a year where Olivia couldn't even go out in public. Through it all, Kate has learned to redefine what success looks like, let go of society's expectations, and build a life centered entirely around her daughter's happiness.

Kate's story will change the way you view your priorities, your grief, and what it means to create a good life when nothing looks the way you expected it

In this episode we talk about:

The moment Kate realized her daughter had autism and what the diagnosis process looked like

Why mainstream school stopped working and the impossible decision to homeschool

The grief, guilt, and isolation of raising a child whose life looks different from what you expected

How Kate navigated running a business while homeschooling and trying to stay afloat

The year Olivia couldn't go out in public and what that did to the whole family

Finding Olivia's passion for art and building a community around it

Why happiness became the only goal that mattered

The importance of exercise for mental health, productivity, and long-term wellbeing

Kate's new business Hi Olivia Online and how she's using art to create education and connection for her daughter

This episode is for you if:

You're a mum raising a child with autism or additional needs who is struggling in mainstream school

You've had to make the impossible decision to homeschool and you feel isolated and overwhelmed

You're grieving the life you thought your child would have

You're trying to run a business while being present for a child who needs you constantly

You feel guilty for feeling grief when your child is still here

You're living rurally and feel isolated by your circumstances

You're searching for your child's passion or purpose when nothing seems to work

You need permission to stop chasing society's expectations and start chasing happiness instead

Whether you're navigating autism, ADHD, intellectual disability, or any condition that makes your child's life look different from the norm, this conversation will meet you exactly where you are.

CONNECT WITH KATE
Follow Kate Ivey on Instagram: @kateiveyfitness
Join her fitness programs: kateiveyfitness.com
Follow Olivia's art journey: @hioliviaonline

 

DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE RESOURCE
We discovered this planning system from billionaire Jesse Itzler and adapted it specifically for disability mum life. Plan your year with purpose, not pressure.
👉 Download your free Yearly Planner here https://www.strongherside.com/yearplanner

CONNECT WITH US
📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongherside/
🎙 Watch the full episode on YouTube
📧 Partnerships & Media: [email protected]

P.S: Don't forget to:
✔️ Hit follow on our channel
✔️ Share this episode with a Mama who needs to hear it
✔️ Let us know what resonated with you

We love you. Thank you for being part of this community.

Note: The information provided on this podcast is for general educational purposes only and does not take into account your personal situation. It is not a substitute for professional advice. We recommend you seek a medical or healthcare professional if you are seeking advice, diagnosis or treatment.

 

CHAPTERS:

 

00:00 Intro: Welcome Kate Ivey

01:41 The Diagnosis: When Olivia Started Regressing and How Kate Knew Something Was Wrong

09:32 The Grief and Guilt: Why It Feels Like Grief Even Though Your Child Is Still Here

16:04 When School Stopped Working: The Breaking Point and the Decision to Homeschool

24:16 The Holding Pattern: A Year of Isolation When Olivia Couldn't Go Out in Public

30:43 Finding Help: Why Therapy and Mindset Coaching Changed Everything

37:09 Exercise as Medicine: Why Movement Is Essential for Mental Health and Your Future Self

40:56 Hi Olivia Online: Building Community Through Art and Creating Purpose for Her Daughter

We're celebrating Vanessa turning 40 by doing something a little different — getting brutally honest about our biggest failures as parents, business owners, and friends.

Vanessa's just back from her weekend away in New Zealand kicking up her heels with her sisters (and yes, there's a hilarious photo of Andrew delivering her a Valentine's Day gin and tonic in sunglasses as we started recording - that you need to see).

To celebrate, we're doing the viral "Museum of Failures" trend, peeling back the curtain on the moments we'd rather forget but have learned the most from. From forgetting to pick kids up from school to missing a broken collarbone for 12 hours, from burnout and tax debt to one-sided friendships that took years to walk away from — nothing is off limits.

This episode is equal parts hilarious and deeply practical. Because if our failures can help another mum avoid the same mistakes, then they were worth something.

What You'll Learn:

How to spot when you're burning yourself out in business (and what to do about it)

The red flags of one-sided friendships — and how to set boundaries without guilt

Why you need to know your business finances intimately (even if you hate numbers)

The importance of doing your due diligence before going into business with someone

How to automate the repetitive parts of your life to get your time back

Why paying yourself from your business matters (even if it's just 10%)

The three-strike rule for testing if a friendship is healthy or draining you

Key Takeaways:

Every mum has parenting fails. You're not alone. We've all been there.

Burnout isn't a badge of honour — it's a warning sign you've ignored your boundaries for too long.

Not everyone can come into your next season. And that's okay.

Know your worth. Set your boundaries. Protect your energy.

Comparison is the thief of joy — especially in friendships where someone's always one-upping you.

Whether you're raising kids with additional needs, starting a business, or just trying to figure out which friendships are worth holding onto — this episode is for you.

What You'll Learn:

How to spot when you're burning yourself out in business (and what to do about it)

The red flags of one-sided friendships — and how to set boundaries without guilt

Why you need to know your business finances intimately (even if you hate numbers)

The importance of doing your due diligence before going into business with someone

How to automate the repetitive parts of your life to get your time back

Why paying yourself from your business matters (even if it's just 10%)

The three-strike rule for testing if a friendship is healthy or draining you

Key Takeaways:

Every mum has parenting fails. You're not alone. We've all been there.

Burnout isn't a badge of honour — it's a warning sign you've ignored your boundaries for too long.

Not everyone can come into your next season. And that's okay.

Know your worth. Set your boundaries. Protect your energy.

Comparison is the thief of joy — especially in friendships where someone's always one-upping you.

Whether you're raising kids with additional needs, starting a business, or just trying to figure out which friendships are worth holding onto — this episode is for you.

This is episode 16 — and we're so grateful you're here with us.

 

📅 DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE RESOURCE:

We discovered this planning system from billionaire Jesse Itzler and adapted it specifically for disability mum life. Plan your year with purpose, not pressure.

👉 Download your free Yearly Planner here https://www.strongherside.com/yearplanner 

 

CONNECT WITH US:

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongherside/
🎙 Watch the full episode on YouTube
📧 Partnerships & Media: [email protected]

P.S: Don't forget to:
✔️ Hit follow on our channel
✔️ Share this episode with a Mama who needs to hear it
✔️ Let us know what resonated with you

We love you. Thank you for being part of this community.

You know what's wild? I woke up one day with what I thought was a spider bite on my face. Turns out it was shingles.

When the doctor asked if I'd been stressed lately, I laughed. My son was scheduled for his quarterly post-cancer scan, he'd been feeling unwell with the same symptoms that led to his diagnosis two years ago, and my cortisol was through the roof. The doctor's advice? "You're going to have to learn to not worry about these scans."

Yeah, thanks for that genius insight.

But here's the thing - he was right. Not in the way he said it, but in the wake-up call it gave me.

Because every emotion you feel manifests itself somewhere in your physical body.

And if you're a mum raising a child with a disability, medical complexities, autism, or any additional needs, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

That tightness in your chest that never fully goes away. The shallow breathing. The shoulders that live permanently up by your ears.

In this episode, I'm getting real about living with a heightened nervous system and what I call "scanxiety" - that constant low-lying anxiety that comes with quarterly scans, therapy appointments, and just the daily reality of keeping a medically complex child alive and thriving. I'm sharing my personal journey through my mum's cancer relapse and death, my son's cancer diagnosis and leg amputation, and how my body literally stores that trauma and fear.

But this isn't just me venting (though there's some of that too). I'm breaking down five actual strategies that are helping me take back some control:

→ The One-Minute Interoception Practice from neuroscientist Andrew Huberman - how tuning into your body's signals can interrupt the stress spiral → How to hack your vagus nerve to literally tell your brain "we're safe now" even when everything feels chaotic → Lewis Howes' powerful reframe on fear vs faith and why our anxiety is often about past pain, not future possibilities → The Fear Sit Down technique and Joy Conditioner exercise for managing worst-case scenario thinking → Why what you're eating and scrolling is either feeding your anxiety or fighting it - insights from gastroenterologist Dr. Will Bulsiewicz

I'm referencing the research from "The Body Keeps the Score" by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, Andrew Huberman's work on the brain-body connection, Lewis Howes' "The Greatness Mindset," and Dr. Will Bulsiewicz's gut health research. But I'm translating it all into language that makes sense for exhausted mamas who don't have time for jargon.

If you're tired of being told to "just relax" or "try yoga" or "practice self-care" when you're living in survival mode, this episode is for you. If you've ever felt like your body is betraying you because it won't stop being on high alert, you're not alone. And if you're raising a child who needs extra everything while trying not to completely fall apart yourself, I see you.

Join our community - sign up to receive our weekly newsletter where we connect with mums who are raising children with disabilities and share exclusive resources, what we are advocating for on your behalf, and so much more. Because you shouldn't have to do this alone.

 

More ways to connect with us: 

📅 DOWNLOAD OUR FREE YEARLY PLANNER

We stole this planning system idea from billionaire Jesse Itzler and adapted it specifically for disability mum life. Plan your year with purpose, not pressure.

👉https://www.strongherside.com/yearplanner 

 

CONNECT WITH US:

📱 Instagram: @strongherside

🎙️ Watch the full episode on YouTube 

📧 Partnerships & Media: [email protected]

 

P.S: Don't forget to:

✔️ Subscribe to our channel 

✔️ Comment below and let us know what resonated with you

 

We love you. Thank you for being part of this community.

In this episode, Collett Smart, Host of Raising Teens, psychologist, qualified teacher, speaker, and internationally published author, brings her deep expertise in healthy relationships to a powerful conversation with Hannah Gair.

Hannah shares her journey of raising her son with Fragile X syndrome, offering an honest and deeply human insight into motherhood, resilience, identity, and strength shaped through unexpected circumstances.

This conversation is rich with real-life reflections and meaningful takeaways, leaving listeners with perspective, compassion, and a renewed appreciation for the quiet strength carried by so many families.

An episode that will stay with you long after it ends.

This episode is from the Raising Teens Podcast with Collett Smart, a Hope Media podcast. 

Host Collett Smart is a psychologist, qualified teacher, speaker and internationally published author, who offers advice on healthy relationships.

Learn more about Collett’s work here: https://hope1032.com.au/raising-teens/ 

📅 DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE RESOURCE BELOW

We discovered this planning system idea from billionaire Jesse Itzler and adapted it specifically for disability mum life. Plan your year with purpose, not pressure.

 

👉https://www.strongherside.com/yearplanner 

 

CONNECT WITH US:

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongherside/

🎙️ Watch the full episode on YouTube 

📧 Partnerships & Media: [email protected]

P.S: Don't forget to:

 

✔️ Subscribe to our channel 

 

✔️ Comment below and let us know what resonated with you

 

We love you. Thank you for being part of this community.

 

Note: The information provided on this podcast is for general educational purposes only and does not take into account your personal situation. It is not a substitute for professional advice. We recommend you seek a medical or healthcare professional if you are seeking advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Episode Summary:
What happens when two women strip back the polished version and share the raw truth? Vanessa opens up about falling pregnant at 18, facing judgment, and raising her daughter solo while building an incredible life. Hannah shares her journey through childhood sexual abuse, foster caring before becoming a mum, and finding her calling in empowering women. This isn't your typical getting-to-know-you chat—it's two best mates diving deep into teenage motherhood, trauma recovery, navigating young adult kids, and what real strength actually looks like. You'll hear honest conversations about rejection, resilience, and reclaiming identity beyond motherhood.

Key Takeaways:

Vanessa reflects on her journey of becoming a mother at 18 and the societal judgment she faced, emphasizing values and determination.

The evolution from controlling parent to supportive mentor is discussed, focusing on empowering young adults in their financial and personal growth.

The podcast underscores the vital role of self-awareness and authenticity in pursuing life goals, free from the need to prove anything to others.

There is a critical discussion on the invisible load women carry and the importance of seeking help and staying true to oneself.

The hosts advocate for a global sisterhood, providing a supportive network for mothers raising children with disabilities.

Notable Quotes:

"My promise was that she was going to have an amazing life and a successful life, and that I was going to make her proud."

"A woman who is at ease with herself is the most beautiful type of woman."

"If I just didn't tell anyone what I was doing, would I still make the same daily decisions?"

"We are applauded when we hold responsibility. Well, we are applauded by frameworks when we don't ask for help."

"You attract everything. It's pretty interesting when you go out there as a teenage mum or as a mum in her early twenties."

Resources:

The Book "The Barefoot Investor" by Scott Pape,

The Book "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill.