You're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic Parents

Most cycle breakers know exactly what they don’t want to repeat. But knowing what not to do is very different from knowing how to be an emotionally healthy adult, especially when emotional regulation, boundaries, and healthy relationships were never modeled for you.

In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, we talk about why learning emotional health as a cycle breaker is often messy, uncomfortable, and filled with shame. We explore the fear of “becoming your parent,” the pressure to get it right immediately, and the black-and-white thinking that makes normal struggles feel like personal failures.

This episode covers:

-Why most cycle breakers start adulthood without the skills they need

-How growing up with explosive, punishing, or emotionally unavailable parents shapes your relationship with emotions

-Why suppressing feelings, intellectualizing, or trying to be “easy” creates problems as an adult

-The difference between struggling emotionally and being emotionally unsafe

-Why emotional health is built through skill-building, accountability, and repair, not perfection

-How shame keeps cycle breakers stuck and what helps loosen its grip

If you’re deeply invested in becoming an emotionally healthy adult but feel discouraged by your imperfections, this episode is for you.

Support the podcast:
Subscribe to You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed for bonus episodes, archived content, and ad-free listening for $5/month. Your support helps grow the podcast while giving you access to additional content. Thank you!
https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private

Want more structured support?

Confident Boundaries with Toxic Parents (Self-Guided Course)

A foundational course for adult children of toxic parents who want clear education, practical tools, and step-by-step guidance for setting boundaries without being paralyzed by guilt, fear, or over-explaining.

https://www.confidentboundaries.com/course

Confident Boundaries Membership

For those who are invested in their cycle breaking journey and want ongoing education, live workshops, and community support navigating their complicated family dynamics. This is not therapy, but a space to continue learning and practicing skills with encouragement and clarity.

https://www.confidentboundaries.com/membership

If this episode resonated, please consider leaving a five-star review to help other cycle breakers find our show.

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Self-doubt is one of the most common and paralyzing struggles for cycle breakers. In this episode of the You’re Not Crazy Podcast, Torie explains why chronic self-doubt is not a personality flaw, but a trauma response rooted in long-term gaslighting and emotional invalidation.

You’ll learn how growing up in a toxic family system trains you to distrust your own memories, emotions, and decisions, and why self-doubt often shows up most intensely when you start setting boundaries, becoming more assertive, or trying to live differently than your family expects. Torie breaks down how “self-gaslighting” develops, why it makes adult decision-making feel overwhelming, and how awareness can help you stop treating this voice as truth.

This episode is especially relevant if you:

Were told you were too sensitive, dramatic, or wrong about your experiences

Second-guess your boundaries and feel tempted to backtrack

Freeze when making decisions because you are afraid of choosing wrong

Feel stuck even though you are trying to heal and break the cycle

Most importantly, this conversation reframes self-doubt as a normal byproduct of growing up in a dysfunctional family, not evidence that you are incapable, broken, or failing at healing.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

The Confident Boundaries Membership

Community and education for cycle breakers with a parent who has (suspected or diagnosed) borderline, narcissistic, or histrionic personality disorder

https://www.confidentboundaries.com/membership

Confident Boundaries with Toxic Parents

A self-paced foundational course for cycle breakers who want clarity, confidence, and tools that actually work.

https://www.confidentboundaries.com/course

You’re Not Crazy: The Private Podcast Feed
Get ad-free episodes, bonus content, and full access to archived episodes.
https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private

If this episode resonated, please leave a five-star review to help other cycle breakers find the show.

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This episode is about nuance. It’s about why labels like narcissistic personality disorder, borderline traits, or “toxic parent” can feel both clarifying and overwhelming, and why healing does not actually depend on getting a definitive diagnosis.

I talk about:


Why patterns of behavior matter more than labels


How gaslighting, emotional volatility, shame, and walking on eggshells shape adult children


Why many cycle breakers grow up in “two realities” with the same parent


The grief, relief, anger, and desire for connection that can coexist


How minimizing what you experienced can quietly train you to tolerate harm in other relationships

If you’re looking for community and education around navigating your relationship with a toxic parent, join me in the Confident Boundaries Membership. Our growing community of 50+ cycle breakers is designed for adults who are invested in healing from a parent with (suspected or diagnosed) borderline, narcissistic, or histrionic personality disorder.
https://www.confidentboundaries.com/membership

Want access to ad-free and archived episodes of You're Not Crazy?
Join You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed for archived episodes, bonus content, and ad-free listening.
https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private

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From navigating visibility as a therapist talking openly about toxic family systems, to setting boundaries around social media, content creation, and emotional labor, this episode is a grounded, honest look at what it actually takes to do this work sustainably as a cycle breaker.

Torie shares why she’s recommitting to the podcast, simplifying where her energy goes, and being more intentional about how and where she shows up. She also talks candidly about burnout, backlash, self doubt, and what it means to keep choosing growth when you were conditioned to stay small.

This episode covers:

-Personal reflections from a year of growth, visibility, and boundary setting

-The emotional cost of talking publicly about narcissistic and toxic parents

-Why simplifying is a form of healing, not quitting

-Reprioritizing the podcast and stepping back from what no longer fits

-Looking ahead to 2026 with more clarity, intention, and self trust

Are you loving the podcast?

Join You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed to support the show and get access to bonus and archived episodes, plus ad-free versions of all new episodes:
https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private

Ready to Build Real Boundaries With Toxic Parents?
If you’re a cycle breaker struggling to set boundaries without being trapped by guilt, fear, or self-gaslighting, Confident Boundaries with Toxic Parents is the place to start. This self-guided course gives you the foundational education and tools to set boundaries that stick with toxic parents.

Enroll here:

https://www.confidentboundaries.com/course

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In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, we talk about why the holidays feel so heavy when you grew up with a narcissistic, emotionally immature, or unpredictable parent. We explore why perfection is not possible, why black-and-white thinking keeps cycle breakers stuck, and why self-compassion is one of the most regulating tools you can practice during this time of year.

You’ll hear:


Why the holidays are uniquely triggering for adult children of toxic parents


How dissociation and “go go go” mode show up as survival responses


Why there is no perfect decision when family dynamics are complicated


How to notice when you are being harsh with yourself and interrupt that pattern


A personal story about navigating imperfect holidays as a cycle-breaking parent

This is a reminder that breaking the cycle does not require perfection. It requires flexibility, self-compassion, and learning to live in the gray.

If you want deeper support with boundaries, guilt, and emotional regulation around your parent, the Confident Boundaries with Toxic Parents course is the foundational next step. It gives you the structure, language, and nervous system support that most cycle breakers were never taught.
Enroll here: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/course

If you’re looking for more support over the holidays, the You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed includes bonus episodes, archived content, and ad-free listening.
Join the private feed here: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.