You're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic Parents

In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, therapist and boundaries coach Torie Wiksell breaks down common behaviors that toxic families often label as “normal,” but that are actually deeply damaging and abusive. We talk about why these dynamics are so confusing, why they impact you as deeply as they do, and why your reactions are not a personal flaw.

You’ll learn:

Why emotional and psychological abuse in families is often minimized or dismissed

How power and control shape parent-child dynamics, even in adulthood

Why stonewalling, silent treatment, shaming, and gaslighting are not “just family stuff”

How abuse creates confusion, self-doubt, and emotional exhaustion over time

How naming abuse accurately can be a powerful step toward clarity and healing

If you’ve ever questioned whether it was “really that bad,” struggled to trust your own emotional reactions, or felt drawn to content about toxic parents while doubting your experience, this episode offers grounding, validation, and context.
Love the podcast? Support the show (and get access to bonus content)

Get ad-free episodes, bonus content, and access to archived episodes by joining You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed.

https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private

Join Torie in the Confident Boundaries Membership

If you’re looking for education, tools, and community with other cycle breakers navigating toxic parent relationships, the Confident Boundaries Membership is the place for you.

https://www.confidentboundaries.com/membership

Schedule a Therapy Phone Consultation

If you’re interested in talking about working with Torie in therapy, use the following link to schedule a free phone consultation. Must be located in CA, OR, or WA.

https://toriewikselltherapy.com/schedule

If this episode was helpful, please leave a five-star review to help other cycle breakers find the show.

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In this episode of You're Not Crazy, I walk through the most common reasons boundaries fail with narcissistic, emotionally immature, and toxic parents. Not because you did it wrong, but because most people are taught a version of boundaries that doesn’t account for manipulation, emotional dysregulation, guilt, or the survival responses cycle breakers carry into adulthood.

We talk about:

-Why using the word “boundary” often backfires with toxic parents

-What a boundary actually is (and why it’s about your behavior, not controlling theirs)

-How toxic parents escalate when they feel dysregulated or lose access to you

-Why guilt, panic, and urgency show up after you set limits

-How not enforcing a boundary teaches your parent to push harder

-Why boundaries without an enforcement plan almost always collapse

This episode is especially for adults who intellectually understand boundaries but still find themselves caving when their parent panics, guilt-trips, or emotionally escalates. If you’ve ever thought, “I know what I should do, but I can’t seem to follow through,” this conversation will give you clarity and language for what’s really happening.

This is also why boundary work with toxic parents requires more than scripts or one-off advice. It requires understanding the family system, the manipulation tactics, and your own nervous system responses so you can follow through without self-abandoning.

If you’re ready for a clear, structured approach to setting boundaries you can actually enforce, my self-guided course Confident Boundaries with Toxic Parents walks you through the full framework step by step. Sign up here:

confidentboundaries.com/course

And if you want access to more episodes of the podcast, sign up for You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed. You'll be supporting the growth of the show while getting access to archived, bonus, and ad-free episodes of You're Not Crazy:
confidentboundaries.com/private 

If this episode helped put words to something you’ve been struggling with, please leave a five-star review to help other cycle breakers find the show and feel less alone.

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The gaslighting, denial, deflection, and rewriting of reality mirror the dynamics many adults grew up with in toxic or narcissistic family systems. Torie explains how ongoing trauma impacts emotional capacity, why trauma that is still happening cannot be healed (only coped with), and how the pressure to respond perfectly often leads to paralysis.

For listeners who feel overwhelmed, stuck, and at a loss for how to move forward right now, this episode provides context, validation, and grounded perspective.

Support the podcast and listen ad-free
Join You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed for bonus and archived episodes plus ad-free listening:
https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private

Find more support navigating your toxic family dynamics:
Learn more about the Confident Boundaries for Toxic Parents course and the Confident Boundaries Membership:
https://www.confidentboundaries.com/

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Most cycle breakers know exactly what they don’t want to repeat. But knowing what not to do is very different from knowing how to be an emotionally healthy adult, especially when emotional regulation, boundaries, and healthy relationships were never modeled for you.

In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, we talk about why learning emotional health as a cycle breaker is often messy, uncomfortable, and filled with shame. We explore the fear of “becoming your parent,” the pressure to get it right immediately, and the black-and-white thinking that makes normal struggles feel like personal failures.

This episode covers:

-Why most cycle breakers start adulthood without the skills they need

-How growing up with explosive, punishing, or emotionally unavailable parents shapes your relationship with emotions

-Why suppressing feelings, intellectualizing, or trying to be “easy” creates problems as an adult

-The difference between struggling emotionally and being emotionally unsafe

-Why emotional health is built through skill-building, accountability, and repair, not perfection

-How shame keeps cycle breakers stuck and what helps loosen its grip

If you’re deeply invested in becoming an emotionally healthy adult but feel discouraged by your imperfections, this episode is for you.

Support the podcast:
Subscribe to You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed for bonus episodes, archived content, and ad-free listening for $5/month. Your support helps grow the podcast while giving you access to additional content. Thank you!
https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private

Want more structured support?

Confident Boundaries with Toxic Parents (Self-Guided Course)

A foundational course for adult children of toxic parents who want clear education, practical tools, and step-by-step guidance for setting boundaries without being paralyzed by guilt, fear, or over-explaining.

https://www.confidentboundaries.com/course

Confident Boundaries Membership

For those who are invested in their cycle breaking journey and want ongoing education, live workshops, and community support navigating their complicated family dynamics. This is not therapy, but a space to continue learning and practicing skills with encouragement and clarity.

https://www.confidentboundaries.com/membership

If this episode resonated, please consider leaving a five-star review to help other cycle breakers find our show.

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Self-doubt is one of the most common and paralyzing struggles for cycle breakers. In this episode of the You’re Not Crazy Podcast, Torie explains why chronic self-doubt is not a personality flaw, but a trauma response rooted in long-term gaslighting and emotional invalidation.

You’ll learn how growing up in a toxic family system trains you to distrust your own memories, emotions, and decisions, and why self-doubt often shows up most intensely when you start setting boundaries, becoming more assertive, or trying to live differently than your family expects. Torie breaks down how “self-gaslighting” develops, why it makes adult decision-making feel overwhelming, and how awareness can help you stop treating this voice as truth.

This episode is especially relevant if you:

Were told you were too sensitive, dramatic, or wrong about your experiences

Second-guess your boundaries and feel tempted to backtrack

Freeze when making decisions because you are afraid of choosing wrong

Feel stuck even though you are trying to heal and break the cycle

Most importantly, this conversation reframes self-doubt as a normal byproduct of growing up in a dysfunctional family, not evidence that you are incapable, broken, or failing at healing.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

The Confident Boundaries Membership

Community and education for cycle breakers with a parent who has (suspected or diagnosed) borderline, narcissistic, or histrionic personality disorder

https://www.confidentboundaries.com/membership

Confident Boundaries with Toxic Parents

A self-paced foundational course for cycle breakers who want clarity, confidence, and tools that actually work.

https://www.confidentboundaries.com/course

You’re Not Crazy: The Private Podcast Feed
Get ad-free episodes, bonus content, and full access to archived episodes.
https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private

If this episode resonated, please leave a five-star review to help other cycle breakers find the show.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.