Divorce Coaches Academy

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Fair can feel like justice. In divorce, it often becomes a trap. In this episode, we sat down with attorney and managing partner Sara Marler to explore why “I just want what’s fair” derails strategy, inflates costs, and delays peace—and how a trauma-informed, whole-person approach helps clients pivot toward outcomes they can actually live with. Sara opens the curtain on what courts really weigh under standards like “just and equitable,” why judges prioritize clarity over grievance, and how stories of betrayal still matter when they are used to guide better decisions rather than to fuel a courtroom campaign.

Together, we map the gap between emotional fairness and legal reality, then show how to close it with reframing, education, and the right team. You’ll hear how validating a client’s experience builds trust, how divorce coaches reduce legal fees by handling the emotional heavy lifting, and why amicable and collaborative professionals consistently deliver faster, more sustainable results than “shark” tactics. We also talk practical tools—mindfulness, targeted parenting classes, curated resources—that help parents stop scorekeeping and design plans centered on children’s needs, not adult ego.

If you’re navigating separation or advising clients through it, this conversation offers a clear path from conflict to closure: focus on what you can control, choose resolution over vindication, and measure success by stability, not revenge. Divorce splits one household into two; it won’t look the same, and that’s okay. The goal is a livable outcome that protects your kids, your wallet, and your future self. 
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To learn more about Sara visit her practice website at: https://marlerlawpartners.com/
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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What if the word “fair” is quietly keeping clients stuck? We dive into the emotional gravity of fairness and show how precise language, neutral validation, and clean reflection can move people from moral courtroom to practical resolution. Guest Evelyn Marley—DCA-certified ADR divorce coach and host of the Fight Less podcast—joins us to unpack how communication tools like silence, mirroring, and micro-reframes lower defensiveness and open pathways to agreement without erasing emotion.

In this episode, we explore the distinction between validating feelings and approving positions, and we tackle the confirmation bias that often sways even well-meaning professionals. You’ll hear how to translate fairness into interests and needs, keep the focus future-facing, and align choices with a client’s best-self vision. We talk through reality-testing, the power of asking “Is it true?”, and why strategic pauses can surface insights that scripted speeches can’t. Most importantly, we define “good enough” as a value-aligned, livable threshold—not a surrender—so clients can choose progress without betraying their core.

Along the way, we spotlight common language traps that entrench conflict and offer practical prompts you can use today: clarifying what “fair” means to the client, reflecting small shifts that build momentum, and inviting clients to say the unsaid in a safe space. Conflict communication is a learnable skill, and when you change the words, you change the trajectory. 
Ready to trade fairness debates for better outcomes? Subscribe, share this podcast episode with a colleague, and leave a review.

About Evelyn:
Evelyn Marley is DCA® certified divorce and communication coach who helps people handle hard conversations by reframing conflict. Evelyn draws from mediation training, divorce coaching, and communication studies and her work centers on awareness, boundaries, repair, and language that lowers defensiveness and escalation.
She is also the host of the Fight(Less) Podcast, where she interviews experts who help people transform and use conflict management as a skill for repair, growth and deeper connection even during life's difficult challenges. 
How to reach Evelyn:
Email: [email protected]
Website: https://www.evelynmarleycoaching.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/evelynmarley/
Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/5UZZMzwtPVGc1WeinCcDY9?si=883fa51bbafe4a6c

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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Fair feels righteous, but it quietly keeps so many divorces stuck. We pull back the curtain on why “I just want what’s fair” becomes a trap and how a resolution-focused approach creates momentum, protects your energy, and ends conflict sooner. Instead of treating divorce like a moral tribunal, we frame it as a structured exit from a shared legal, financial, and parenting arrangement—one that rewards clear thinking and workable agreements over symbolic victories.

We start by separating two often-blurred ideas: fairness is an evaluation; resolution is a process. That single distinction changes the questions you ask and the outcomes you reach. You’ll hear how fairness multiplies objections, turns every proposal into a referendum on the past, and collapses time horizons. Then we lay out the resolution metrics that actually matter in mediation and negotiation: durability, conflict exposure, ease of implementation, and long-term autonomy. These criteria help you choose options you may not love but can accept—and acceptance is what unlocks closure.

A composite client story brings the shift to life. This is the quiet stall many reasonable people fall into: no yelling, just months of evaluation through a fairness lens. The breakthrough happens with one core question—what happens if you keep negotiating for fairness? Mapping real costs across time, money, emotional bandwidth, and co‑parenting reveals the truth: fairness isn’t producing relief. Resolution can. We also take on emotional justice head-on. Divorce processes don’t deliver moral verdicts; they deliver exit strategies. Healing belongs in therapy and community, not in your settlement terms.

If you’re a professional, we show how ADR-aligned divorce coaching teaches decision literacy and helps clients tolerate imperfect outcomes in service of a livable future. If you’re navigating your own divorce, you’ll leave with practical language, sharper filters, and a redefined vision of success: less escalation, greater stability, and fewer future flashpoints—especially for families with children. 
Subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway so we can keep building smarter, resolution-centered tools for you.
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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Fair sounds virtuous, but it’s the quiet saboteur of many divorce negotiations. We pull back the curtain on how fairness language derails progress, fuels story stacking, and turns negotiations into a tribunal of the past instead of a plan for the future. When each person holds a private definition of “fair,” the gap widens, defensiveness rises, and workable options get torpedoed—not because they fail the kids or the law, but because they fail a sense of symmetry.

We make the case for a different target: good enough. That doesn’t mean settling for less; it means designing an agreement that functions under stress, reduces future touch points, and keeps emotional reengagement to a minimum. You’ll hear how to stress-test proposals with real-life questions—what happens when communication breaks down, when one parent is tired, or when compliance wobbles—and why agreements should be built for human behavior, not ideal behavior. We also draw a clear boundary: courts and mediation structures allocate responsibility and create enforceable terms; they don’t repair emotional inequity. Trying to extract justice from a system built for decisions guarantees frustration.

If you’re a divorce professional or coach, we share practical tools to help clients move from moral certainty to strategic flexibility, normalize disappointment as part of transition, and measure success by fewer future conflicts. And if you’re navigating divorce yourself, this conversation offers a steady off-ramp: stop chasing perfect balance and start building sustainable peace. 
Ready to trade fairness for function and finally get finished? 
Subscribe, share this episode with a colleague or friend, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway or question—we’d love to hear what “good enough” looks like for you.
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)
Trust accelerates the work. That simple idea sits at the heart of our conversation with betrayal trauma specialist and DCA-certified ADR divorce coach, Christina Riley, as we explore why representation isn’t a tagline—it’s a performance driver in divorce coaching and mediation. Clients don’t arrive as blank slates; they bring history, stress responses, and a relationship to systems that can either inflame or calm conflict. When cultural understanding is present from the start, the nervous system settles and the coaching room turns from explanation into strategy.

We talk candidly about the access gap at the entry point: why many people in underrepresented communities delay support not because they don’t need it, but because they’re unsure the space will be safe or relevant. That delay has costs—escalated conflict, higher expenses, and harder-to-repair ruptures. Christina shares how Black clients intentionally seek coaches who share lived experience to reduce emotional labor, build early trust, and gain the clarity needed for mediation, parenting plans, and settlement conversations. The payoff is practical and immediate: clearer goals, stronger boundaries, and a sharper distinction between what genuinely matters and what’s merely emotionally loud.

We also examine the profession’s responsibility. Neutrality doesn’t demand sameness. Competence includes cultural literacy, rigorous standards, and ethical practice that adapts to reality without diluting quality. Training organizations like Divorce Coaches Academy can widen the pipeline while maintaining high bars through mentorship, community, and honest conversations about barriers. Lived experience is not a liability; paired with strong training, it’s a lens that improves outcomes across ADR.

If you care about early intervention, reduced conflict, and durable agreements, this conversation is an invitation to build inclusion thoughtfully and on purpose. 
Listen, share with someone who needs to hear it, and subscribe to stay part of a community shaping a more effective, accessible divorce coaching field.
Connect with Christina at Christina Riley Coaching here: christinariley.com
Not yet a DCA Certified Divorce Coach? Apply for the next cohort which begins Jan 11, 2026. Find out details here: https://www.divorcecoachesacademy.com/divorcecoach
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]