Divorce Coaches Academy

What happens when helping actually gets in the way of healing?

In this powerful episode of the Divorce Coaches Academy Podcast®, Tracy Callahan is joined by somatic experiencing practitioner, certified mental health coach, Michelle Browning for a profound conversation about the shift from correction to capacity in divorce coaching.

Together, they explore why rushing to fix, solve, or “move clients forward” can unintentionally reinforce overwhelm—and why building a client’s capacity to stay connected to themselves during conflict may be the most important work divorce coaches do.

Through the lens of nervous system regulation, agency, autonomy, and emotional resilience, Tracy and Michelle unpack:
Why strategy alone is not enough when clients are flooded or shut down
The difference between emotional regulation and nervous system regulation
How “helping” can sometimes soothe the professional more than the client
What functional freeze looks like in divorce conversations and legal meetings
Why tiny, tolerable steps create sustainable progress
How divorce coaches can become a grounded, regulating presence for clients navigating uncertainty and conflict
Michelle also shares a moving story about a butterfly struggling to emerge from its chrysalis—a metaphor that beautifully illustrates the importance of allowing clients the dignity of their own process.

This episode is an invitation for divorce coaches and helping professionals to rethink what support truly means and to recognize that transformation often happens not through rushing, but through staying present long enough for capacity to grow.

About Michelle Browning
Michelle Browning guides people through endings, messy middles, and new beginnings with a trauma-informed, nervous-system-centered approach to healing and personal transformation. She is a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, Certified Mental Health Coach and educator who helps clients reclaim their voice, agency, and direction—one tolerable step at a time.

Learn more about Michelle Browning at:
https://www.michellebrowning.com

In This Episode
Cindy shares:
How The Mother Lode evolved from writing about motherhood into writing about divorce and separation
The emotional process of realizing a marriage is over
The moment she finally decided to leave her marriage
What it feels like to navigate a high-conflict divorce
How divorce coaching differs from therapy and legal representation
Why many women struggle to answer the question: “What do you need?”
The financial stress and uncertainty many women face during divorce
How divorce coaching helped her prepare for attorney meetings and legal negotiations
Why emotional regulation and “distress tolerance” are critical during divorce
The ongoing challenges of post-divorce conflict and co-parenting
How divorce coaching helped her feel more “sturdy,” capable, and empowered
Why This Episode Matters
Divorce is not just a legal process. It is emotional, financial, logistical, and deeply personal.
This episode highlights how divorce coaching can provide strategic and emotional support during divorce—especially for individuals navigating high-conflict relationships, financial uncertainty, and identity shifts after separation.
Listeners will walk away with a clearer understanding of:
What a divorce coach actually does
When divorce coaching can help
How divorce coaching can reduce overwhelm during divorce
Why support systems matter during major life transitions
Memorable Quotes
“Sometimes you’ve got to write your way through to the truth.”
“I never want to feel this way again.”
“Don’t be afraid to need a lot of people in your corner during this phase in your life.”
“What if you left for your kids?”
Resources & Links
Cindy DiTiberio
Substack: https://cindyditiberio.substack.com/
Instagram: @cindy.ditiberio
Divorce Coaches Academy
Website: https://divorcecoachesacademy.com
Find a Certified Divorce Coach through Divorce Coaches Academy® Coach Locator https://www.divorcecoachesacademy.com/coach-locator
About Cindy DiTiberio
Cindy DiTiberio is a writer and creator of The Mother Load, a popular Substack focused on motherhood, divorce, relationships, identity, and co-parenting. Through personal essays and her “Divorce Diaries” interview series, Cindy shares honest stories about the emotional and practical realities of divorce that resonate with thousands of women navigating similar experiences.

As divorce coaching continues to grow, social media has created a new form of authority built on relatability, lived experience, and audience trust. But when personal experience becomes guidance without clear ethical boundaries, what risks emerge for vulnerable individuals navigating divorce?

Tracy examines the difference between lived experience and professional competency, the ethical concerns surrounding unregulated influence in the divorce space, and why divorce coaching requires more than visibility and personal storytelling. She discusses how emotional vulnerability, algorithm driven platforms, and monetized audiences are reshaping the landscape of divorce support and why ethical standards matter now more than ever.
Topics discussed include:
• The rise of the divorce influencer phenomenon
• Why relatability is not the same as expertise
• The ethical risks of unregulated guidance during divorce
• Audience trust, monetization, and accountability
• Scope of practice in divorce coaching
• The importance of conflict informed and ADR aligned coaching
• Why divorce coaching requires training, structure, and ethical responsibility
This episode is a powerful call for greater clarity, professionalism, and accountability within the divorce coaching industry and a reminder that influence without responsibility can create real harm.

Learn more about Divorce Coaches Academy® and professional divorce coach training at:
https://divorcecoachesacademy.com

Dating after divorce is often framed as a “fresh start.” But what if it’s not?

In this episode, Tracy Callahan is joined by Wendy Kesser, certified divorce coach and professional “rematchmaker,” to explore what really happens when clients re-enter the world of relationships after divorce.

Together, they unpack why dating after divorce is less about starting over and more about stepping into a new relational environment one where old patterns, assumptions, and conflict dynamics often resurface.
For divorce coaches, this conversation highlights a critical truth: the work doesn’t end when the agreement is signed. It evolves.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode
Why dating after divorce is both a new chapter and a continuation of past relational patterns
How unresolved internal conflict shows up in partner selection and dating decisions
The difference between being ready to date and having the capacity to engage in relationships differently
Why clients often “date for replacement” instead of alignment
The role of values audits in helping clients make intentional relationship choices
How coaches can shift clients from seeking validation to developing discernment
Why the goal is not to help clients find the “right partner,” but to help them engage in relationships differently
Key Insights
Dating is not a clean slate
Clients carry forward patterns, assumptions, and ways of engaging into new relationships—often without awareness.
Readiness is not a feeling—it’s a capacity
True readiness includes emotional availability, tolerance for uncertainty, and the ability to communicate with clarity and honesty.
The past may still be doing the choosing
When clients define what they want based on what they don’t want, they remain anchored to prior relationships rather than aligned with future intentions.
Clients don’t need scripts—they need skills
The work is not about telling clients what to say. It’s about helping them develop awareness, capacity, and intentional engagement.
Divorce coaching extends beyond the divorce
Supporting clients in how they re-engage in relationships is where long-term transformation happens.
For Divorce Coaches: Your Role
Help clients identify and understand their relational patterns
Support intentional decision-making, not reactive choices
Guide clients toward values-based alignment
Encourage self-awareness over performance in dating
Provide referrals and resources that support continued growth
Memorable Moments
“The problem is not the pool. The problem is the filter.”
“Readiness isn’t a feeling—it’s a capacity.”
“Clients don’t date… they audition.”
“The work is helping clients consciously author their next chapter.”
About the Guest
Wendy Kesser is a certified divorce coach, professional matchmaker, and founder of Get With Wendy. She specializes in working with divorced and widowed individuals, helping them navigate partner selection with intention and clarity. Wendy brings a unique perspective by combining divorce coaching with matchmaking, offering insight into how past relational dynamics influence future choices.
🔗 Learn more: https://GetWithWendy.com

Does better communication really reduce conflict in divorce? Not always.
In this episode, Tracy Callahan breaks down why communication strategies often fail in high conflict divorce—and how, in many cases, communication actually escalates conflict instead of resolving it.
If you’re a divorce coach, mediator, therapist, or family law professional, this conversation will shift how you understand conflict dynamics. You’ll learn why clients stay stuck in repetitive arguments, why “just communicate better” doesn’t work, and what’s really driving high conflict behavior beneath the surface.
This episode explores the hidden mechanisms of conflict in divorce, offering a deeper understanding of why traditional approaches fall short and what professionals need to see in order to create meaningful change.
Keywords naturally included:
high conflict divorce, divorce communication, conflict resolution in divorce, divorce coaching, family law conflict, mediation challenges, conflict dynamics, emotional conflict, divorce professionals
In This Episode:
• Why communication fails in high conflict divorce
• How communication can escalate conflict instead of resolving it
• Understanding conflict dynamics beneath surface-level behavior
• Why clients repeat the same arguments without resolution