Help! My Child's Anxious

In this episode of Help! My Child’s Anxious, hosts Vanessa Feltz and Saskia Joss are joined by child, family, and adult psychotherapist Zara Kadir (from The Therapy Shed) to explore how anxiety and neurodiversity intersect in children.
Zara shares insights from both her professional practice and her personal journey parenting a son with ADHD. The conversation dives into the common ways anxiety manifests—from school avoidance and separation anxiety to phobias and rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD)—and offers practical strategies for parents.
Topics covered include:
Understanding Accommodation vs. Support: Why removing every anxiety trigger can accidentally make fears bigger, and how parents can "outsource confidence" and stay grounded instead.
Scaffolding for Neurodivergent Kids: Practical tips for building routines, using executive-function tools (like dementia alarm clocks), and setting up intentional morning systems.
Managing Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD): How to reduce shame, believe your child’s lived experience, and sit with their big emotions without rushing to fix them.
The Impact on Siblings: Addressing the "tyranny of the weak" dynamics, balancing attention, and ensuring siblings of neurodivergent children aren't forgotten or forced into premature responsibility.
Practical Co-Parenting: Simple team strategies for partners, including burn-out code words and avoiding post-bedtime debrief fatigue.

A seven-minute walk was taking Shakira Akabusi three and a half hours. From the outside, nobody had a clue.
In this episode of Help! My Child is Anxious, Vanessa Feltz and child therapist Saskia Joss sit down with women's health expert and StrongLikeMum founder Shakira Akabusi to talk about body anxiety, OCD, and what happened when pregnancy pulled the floor out from under her.
Shakira grew up in a sporting family with an Olympian father, and still ended up with obsessive-compulsive disorder so severe it cancelled a family holiday at the airport check-in desk. She talks openly about the compulsions, the isolation of new motherhood, and how she recovered through hypnotherapy, talk therapy and movement, without medication.
Then the conversation turns practical. Saskia explains why compulsions are really an attempt to control something uncontrollable, and why pregnancy so often brings buried fears to the surface. Shakira shares what actually works for families: the after-dinner walk, the indoor obstacle course, the kitchen dance, and why the word "workout" puts most parents off before they start.
If you are the parent holding everything together and quietly running on empty, this one is for you. Anxiety does not only live in the head. It lives in the body too, and that is often the easier door to open.
Watch this episode on Youtube:
https://youtu.be/dJKxakAG5F0

Your child holds it together all day at school, then falls apart the moment they get home. If that is your house, this episode is for you.
Vanessa Feltz and child therapist Saskia Joss are joined by Lisa Lloyd, autism advocate and author of Unmasking Mum, for one of the most honest conversations we have had on this podcast.
Lisa is mum to two autistic children, and she was only diagnosed autistic herself at 41. Her son took four years to get a diagnosis because he masked so well at school that nobody could see what was happening at home. Her daughter has a PDA profile, which means being asked to do almost anything can trigger an anxiety response. Lisa talks about the mornings that swallow two hours over a pair of shoes, the meltdowns in public that stop looking acceptable once your child is over six foot, and the friendships that quietly disappeared because she kept having to say no.
Saskia explains why anxiety is the most common condition to travel alongside autism, what a meltdown actually is, and how masking works. She describes it as walking around with a pin stuck in your side and telling nobody.
If you are somewhere in the assessment queue, or you have a diagnosis and no support, or you are simply exhausted and starting to wonder whether it is you, this one will make you feel less alone.
In this episode:
• Why the child who masks is often the one suffering most
• What PDA (pathological demand avoidance) really is, and why it is anxiety-driven
• Which demands you have to hold, and which you can safely let go
• Why a diagnosis does not automatically bring any support • Children who fall between mainstream school and specialist provision
• Why anxiety and autism so often turn up together
• What actually helps: structure, ear defenders, getting ahead of change
• Meltdowns in public when your child is bigger than you
• The loneliness, the lost friendships, and the fear of who will be there when you are gone
• Building independence in very small steps
• What autism parenting does to a marriage, and how Lisa and her husband protect theirs
• What Lisa wishes neurotypical parents knew, including one simple thing that changes everything
We want to hear from you. Which part of this landed hardest? Tell us in the comments. If your child masks at school and unravels at home, say so. There will be a parent reading who thought they were the only one. Subscribe to Help! My Child is Anxious for new episodes every week. Warm, practical, honest conversations for parents raising anxious children in a world that rarely slows down.
Buy Lisa's latest book:
https://www.penguin.co.uk/authors/312673/lisa-lloyd

Welcome to Help My Child's Anxious, hosted by broadcaster Vanessa Feltz and her daughter, child therapist Saskia Joss. In this episode, Vanessa and Saskia welcome special guest Laura Amies (known as Nanny Amies), a former nanny turned parenting expert and mother.
Laura opens up about her personal journey after her daughter Elizabeth was diagnosed with Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA). She candidly shares how dealing with a rare genetic condition impacted her mental health—bringing on her first clinical panic attack—and how she finds positivity and strength through daily routines.
Later in the show, the team tackles listener questions from Instagram:
Potty Training: How to manage parental anxiety, introduce low-pressure routines, and handle stubborn toddler resistance.
Nursery Drop-Offs: Tips for managing drop-off distress and separation anxiety.
Bedtime Struggles: How to help a child who hates being left alone at night using the "checking method".
Fears & Phobias: Simple ways to desensitize children to loud noises like hand dryers and animals like dogs.

They wrap up with their favorite segment, "Never Felt So Good," sharing budget-friendly ways to bring instant joy and connection into family life

It's our one-year anniversary! Vanessa Feltz and her daugther child therapist Saskia Joss look back on twelve months of Help! My Child's Anxious — from topping podcast charts in 47 countries (yes, including the Solomon Islands) to what a year of talking about anxiety has taught them both.
This week they tackle a headline-grabbing claim from Education Secretary Bridget Phillipson: are anxious, "helicopter" parents raising a generation of children who can't cope? Saskia unpacks what "overparenting" actually means, why doing too much for your child can backfire, and where the line is between helping and hindering.
Plus, don't miss this week's Never Felt So Good — a ridiculously simple (and soaking wet) summer activity using nothing but a clothes airer, magnetic tiles and a water gun, guaranteed to buy you an hour of peace.
And a first look ahead: this summer, Help! My Child's Anxious is bringing you back-to-back guest episodes with some of their favourite parenting experts and mums. Don't miss it.
Get in touch: Instagram @helpmychildanxiouspod or helpmychildanxious@gmail.com