Parenting with Impact

Are you holding your complex kid to expectations that weren't built for their brain? In this episode, Elaine Taylor-Klaus and Diane Dempster dig into one of the most misunderstood concepts in parenting neurodiverse kids: shifting expectations—not lowering or eliminating them. You'll learn why the gap between expectation and reality is the root of most conflicts, the reasons why your complex kid might be struggling to meet the bar you set, and what it means to meet your kid where they are. If you’re raising a kid with ADHD or executive function challenges, this one’s an essential listen. Tune in, then head to ImpactParents.com to find out how you can keep learning with Sanity School® for Parents.

What to expect in this episode:
The 30% rule explained: Kids with executive function challenges are often 30% behind peers developmentally, which translates to 3–5 years for younger kids and 8–10 years for young adults. 
Shifting vs. lowering—they’re not the same thing: Understand the difference between abandoning your expectations and moving them to where your kid can actually reach them, then growing from there.
Every trigger starts with a gap: The space between what you expect and what your kid delivers is the root cause of most conflicts at home.
Process over outcome: Holding neurodiverse kids accountable to how they approach tasks (rather than just whether they finish them) is what really builds long-term capability and self-worth.
The collaborative piece: Setting expectations isn't something you do to your kid, it's something you do with them, and buy-in from your child is what makes the whole thing stick.

Download free guide: Top 12 Tips To Help Your Complex Kids

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Being nice and being positive aren't the same thing—and if you're parenting a complex kid, that distinction matters. In this episode, Elaine Taylor-Klaus and Diane Dempster dig into the second Sanity School® cornerstone: positivity and communication. They cover why resilience more than intelligence influences success, what the "independence pyramid" is built on, and how the way you talk to your kid (and to yourself) shapes everything from relationships to self-regulation. It's part two of a four-part series. You can catch up on the first episode about activating your child’s brain and follow along so you don't miss the rest.
What to expect in this episode:
Why being positive isn't the same as being nice, and why that distinction matters for parenting complex kids
Why resilience, not intelligence, is the biggest predictor of a kid's long-term success, and how to build it
What the "independence pyramid" is, and why relationship, trust, and communication have to come in that order
How tone, timing, and what your kid actually hears (versus what you meant) shape every conversation
Why self-talk is a form of self-care, and how changing your own internal dialogue changes how you show up for your kid
Download free guide: Top 12 Tips To Help Your Complex Kids
Connect with ImpactParents: 
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Your brilliant kid can't get out the door in the morning, falls apart over homework, and goes from fine to completely overwhelmed in seconds. You want to help them out, but it feels like you've tried everything and nothing sticks. In this episode of Parenting with Impact, Elaine Taylor-Klaus and Diane Dempster break down what's actually happening in your child's brain, and why executive function, emotional regulation, and motivation are the three most important things every parent of a neurodiverse kid needs to understand. This is part one of a four-episode series built on the framework ImpactParents has been teaching with their Sanity School® program for 15 years. If you're tired of jumping from strategy to strategy without meaningful progress, this episode gives you a powerful place to start. Hit follow so you don't miss what's coming next.
What to expect in this episode:
Why "activating the brain" is the foundation for everything else you'll do as a parent of a complex or neurodiverse kid—and what it actually means day-to-day
The real reason your brilliant child struggles to organize, plan, or follow through (it has nothing to do with how smart they are, it just requires a completely different part of the brain)
What executive function looks like in daily life, and how Dr. Thomas E. Brown's six-area model helps you pinpoint exactly where your child needs support
Why your child probably isn't really going from "zero to a hundred"—and what's actually happening in their nervous system before the meltdown
Why your child isn't unmotivated — they're differently wired, and understanding that changes everything about how you show up for them
Download free guide: Top 12 Tips To Help Your Complex Kids

Connect with ImpactParents: 
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When rewards, punishments, and consequences aren’t working, it may be time to ask new questions. In this episode, Dr. Ross Greene explains why challenging behavior isn’t usually a sign of defiance or poor motivation, but a signal that a child is struggling with expectations they cannot yet meet. He introduces the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions mode and explains how shifting from behavior management to collaborative problem solving can reduce conflict, strengthen relationships, and help kids build the skills they need to succeed. Discover how changing the way you see challenging behavior can transform the way you support your child.

What to expect in this episode:
Why challenging behavior is often signals a struggle with skills rather than defiance
The difference between managing behaviors and addressing the causes behind them
The role of collaboration in helping kids build problem-solving skills
How proactive conversations can reduce power struggles and emotional blowups
What schools and families can do differently to better support complex kids

About Dr. Ross Greene
Ross is the originator of the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) model, as described in his influential books The Explosive Child, Lost at School, Lost & Found, and Raising Human Beings, and the forthcoming The Kids Who Aren't Okay: The Urgent Case for Reimagining Support, Belonging, and Hope in Schools. He served on the faculty at Harvard Medical School for over 20 years, and is now an adjunct Professor in the Department of Psychology at Virginia Tech and in the Faculty of Science at The University of Technology Sydney in Australia. He is deeply involved in fundraising efforts at Lives in the Balance, CPS model projects, and Lives in the Balance documentaries and mini-documentaries.
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Connect with Dr. Ross
Website: Lives in the Balance
Instagram: @livesinthebalance
YouTube: Lives in the Balance (Dr. Ross Greene)
Book: The Explosive Child by Greene, Ross W. | The Explosive Child by Ross Greene
The Explosive Child [Sixth Edition] by Greene PhD, Ross W. 
The Kids Who Aren't Okay by Ross W. Greene Ph.D. 

Get your FREE copy of 12 Key Coaching Tools for Parents at https://impactparents.com/gift.
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Connect with Impact Parents:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/impactparents
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ImpactParents
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/impactparents

Sponsors
"Cognitive Ergonomics from the Inside Out" – A New ADHD Intervention
Do you recognize current ADHD interventions fall short? At DIG Coaching, we've developed a groundbreaking field of engineering called Cognitive Ergonomics from the Inside Out. Discover a fresh approach to ADHD care that looks beyond traditional methods.

Learn more at www.cognitive-ergonomics.com

Getting your child through school should not feel like navigating a maze, but for many parents, it does. When learning differences, executive function challenges, or other school struggles are a factor, it can be hard to know which supports will actually work and how to find ones that will be a good fit. In this episode, educational therapist Jenny Drennan unpacks the differences among tutors, coaches, educational therapists, advocates, and other specialists, and shares what parents need to know before investing their time, energy, and resources. Get ready to cut through the confusion and discover how finding the right support can strengthen not only your child's growth, but your relationship with them.

What to expect in this episode:
The differences between tutoring, educational therapy, coaching, and school-based supports
What cognitive assessments reveal about how a child learns and struggles
Why executive function support requires more than just organizational tools
The role of authentic buy-in in determining a support’s success
How the parent-child relationship impacts learning and growth

About Jenny Drennan
Jenny Drennan is a Board-Certified Educational Therapist, Founder of WeThrive Learning, and a featured speaker. Her private practice specializes in supporting students with ADHD and math and language processing challenges. Drawing on best practices and the latest research, WeThrive Learning provides 1-1 tailored support for students and parents globally, taking into account their complex learning profiles. She is certified by ImpactParents as a Sanity School® behavior therapy program trainer. Her passion, work, and insights have earned her recognition as one of the top 10 most influential educators by MSN. Her contributions and presentations have also been featured on numerous podcasts, in organizations, at workshops, and in parent groups.
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Connect with Jenny
Website: WeThrive Learning 
Podcast: WeThrive Learning 
Facebook Group: Parent Your ADHD Child with Confidence! 
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Get your FREE copy of 12 Key Coaching Tools for Parents at https://impactparents.com/gift.
​
Connect with Impact Parents:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/impactparents
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ImpactParents
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/impactparents

Sponsors
"Cognitive Ergonomics from the Inside Out" – A New ADHD Intervention
Do you recognize current ADHD interventions fall short? At DIG Coaching, we've developed a groundbreaking field of engineering called Cognitive Ergonomics from the Inside Out. Discover a fresh approach to ADHD care that looks beyond traditional methods.

Learn more at www.cognitive-ergonomics.com