Parenting with Impact

Does it feel like your kid is pulling away? Always closing their door, avoiding you, or talking to you only when they have to? For neurodiverse families, this shift often comes from normal development colliding with an already taxed parent-child relationship. In this episode, Elaine and Diane dig into where that disconnect happens and what actually works to rebuild trust and connection with your kid. They unpack the shift from "I'm afraid for you" to "I believe in you," and why that one mindset change can transform your dynamic. If you've been feeling shut out, this is your on-ramp back in.

What to expect in this episode:
Why a teenager pulling away and closing their door is often a normal part of development, not necessarily a red flag
How the parent's role as "director" can create a second layer of disconnection on top of natural individuation
A reframe of "trust" as a felt sense of safety and comfort, not just honesty or truth-telling
A practical mindset shift — "I believe in you" instead of "I'm afraid for you" — and why it changes how our kids experience us
Why creating space for an uncertain (but very possible) positive future can help you calm enough to make reconnection possible

Download free guide: Top 12 Tips To Help Your Complex Kids

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Ever feel like you're spiraling? If it seems like nothing you try is working and you're somehow driving your kid further away, you're not alone—and it's not just about your kid. In this episode, Elaine and Diane dig into the parent experience—the overwhelm, frustration, guilt, and worry that show up when we're raising complex kids, and why noticing our own reactivity (hello, SODA: shut down, offense, defense, avoid) is the first step to showing up differently. If you've ever wondered why you react the way you do, this one's for you. Hit play.

What to expect in this episode:
Why the parent experience—not the kid's—is often the missing piec
An introduction to SODA: the four common reactive patterns (Shut down, Offense, Defense, Avoid) and how to spot yours
The difference between being "aware," "alert," and "alarmed,” and why many parents live in alert without realizing it
Why uncertainty, even more than the actual problem, is often what makes parents feel unsafe
A reminder that feeling alone in this struggle is a signal worth paying attention to, not a truth about your situation

Download free guide: Top 12 Tips To Help Your Complex Kids

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Ever look at your ADHD kid and think, "I know they want to do well — so why can't they just get started?" This week, cognitive engineer and ADHD coach Jeff Copper joins Elaine to break down a completely new way of understanding motivation and executive function. You'll learn why "unmotivated" is almost always the wrong word, why extra time isn't the accommodation you think it is, and why talking things through with your kid might be one of the most powerful tools you have. This one's dense — you may want to listen twice. Tap in for a total shift in how you see effort, motivation, and what your ADHD kid is actually up against.

What to expect in this episode:
A new way to understand ADHD motivation using Dr. Russell Barkley's two-brain model
Why calling executive function an "impairment" can actually reduce shame, not increase it
Why rewards and willpower fall short as long-term motivation strategies
Why extra time isn't the relief parents assume it is
Why talking things through with your kid is a real, research-backed accommodation

About Jeff Copper
Jeff Copper is a cognitive engineer and ADHD coach. He is founder of DIG Coaching Practice, Attention Talk Radio, and Attention Talk Video. He holds professional designations from ICF and PAAC and certifications from ADD Coach Academy and Coaches Training Institute. A member of ADDA, CHADD, ACO, PAAC, and ICF, Jeff developed Cognitive Ergonomics From the Inside Out®, a radical departure from the current ADHD intervention paradigm. In recognition of his contributions, he received the ACO's 2022 Professional Excellence Award. Jeff continues to innovate in attention coaching, helping individuals understand and manage their ADHD challenges.
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Connect with Jeff
Facebook (optional):  https://www.facebook.com/adultaddcoach
X Handle (optional)   https://twitter.com/digcoaching
Linkedin (optional)   https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeff-copper  
Instagram (optional)   https://instagram.com/dig.coaching 
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Connect with Impact Parents:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/impactparents
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ImpactParents
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/impactparents

High-conflict divorce can feel like a life sentence — especially when you're fighting over your child's health and well-being, and neither parent will budge. In this episode, Elaine sits down with Alanah, an attorney and civil rights advocate, who shares how she transformed a near-litigation co-parenting nightmare into a working relationship built on mutual respect and collaboration. Alanah breaks down the exact shift that changed everything — and what she did when her co-parent wasn't on board yet. If you've ever felt trapped in a conflict you can't get out of, this one's for you. Listen now and find out what's actually possible.

What to expect in this episode:
The parenting covenant strategy: How Alanah transformed a stack of legal pleadings into a clear, shared vision, and how to distill what you actually want from a conflict so you can start working toward it.
What to do when your co-parent isn't on board: Practical guidance on enrolling a resistant co-parent in a new vision without forcing it on them.
Why alignment beats agreement: The crucial difference between trying to agree on specifics and starting with what you both already share: your child's well-being.
Real-time coaching and "texting from the ledge": Why practicing new patterns in the middle of a real conflict, not just during a coaching session, is what makes change stick.
The shift from "have to" to "get to": How Alanah moved from feeling like a prisoner in her co-parenting dynamic to feeling genuinely liberated and what that shift actually required.

Download free guide: Top 12 Tips To Help Your Complex Kids

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You’ve tried the systems recommended for helping complex kids—reward charts, planners, new morning routines—and they’re just not sticking for your kid. It isn’t that you’re using bad systems, it's that often we’re starting with the solution before we understand the problem. In this episode, Elaine and Diane unpack why systems and structures are the last piece of the parenting puzzle, not the first, and walk you through a practical, personalized approach to building routines that actually hold up for neurodiverse kids. Ready to stop guessing and start problem solving? This one's for you.

What to expect in this episode:
Why systems and structures come last in the ImpactParents model.
The real reason reward charts and planners only work some of the time.
How to problem-solve before you pick a system using real world scenarios and practical examples.
Why buy-in and ownership are essential for complex kids and how to get them on board without a power struggle.
The concept of "flexible structure": how to build routines that are solid enough to hold, but have enough give to survive a hard day.

Download free guide: Top 12 Tips To Help Your Complex Kids

Connect with ImpactParents: 
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